Chapter One
KagomeI take a look around the apartment to make sure that I've gotten everything done. The place needs to be spotless before Koga gets home. It's late, close to 11:30, but he's been on business with his father and I don't pry into any of that. He's told me time and time again that he can't tell me anything about his job until we're married, and I can respect that.
Today, I worked from home but mostly spent the time cleaning. The place is dusted, floors are swept and mopped, dishes have all been done, all of the decorative blankets and pillows are arranged nicely, and the bathroom is completely clean. I also ordered takeout so I didn't have to fuck up the kitchen trying to make dinner.
I don't think I've missed anything so I sit down on the couch, careful not to disturb any of the carefully fluffed pillows so it doesn't look like I've been sitting here all day. The click of a key in a lock pulls to my feet as Koga opens the front door and walks in.
"Hey." He mumbles. He seems irritated, but I don't ask him about his day. I know better than that.
"Hello!" My smile is bright as I look up from my phone at him. "Happy you're home." He doesn't match my smile, but he does give me a weak one back.
"Your day go okay? House looks nice." He remarks with a look around. I celebrate internally. This is a great way to start the night. He wanders toward the kitchen with heavy footsteps smacking the floor, tracking in some dirt from his shoes.
"Yeah. I got everything I wanted to get done, done. Even got the groceries." I say. He spins around with wide eyes.
"You got the groceries?" He asks incredulously. I'm immediately shaking my head, trying to keep him calm.
"No, no. Don't worry. I had them ordered and did contactless delivery. It's all good. I'm sorry, I should have clarified better." I explain quickly. He nods at me, looking relieved, and lets out a breath.
"Shit, don't scare me like that, Kagome." He huffs as he opens the pizza box on the counter.
I didn't eat any of it before he got home, waiting for him to get some first. I'm completely starving after all of the work I've done, but he prefers when we eat dinner together. He reaches toward me and cradles the back of my head.
"Thanks for waiting for me, baby. Sorry, it took me so long today. It was a rough one." He places a kiss on my forehead, and I think we're officially in the clear for the night. Then my phone chimes from my hand, and he growls.
"What's so fucking important?" He asks. He hates it when my phone volume is on while he's home. I should have switched it to vibrate. Shit! I'm cursing myself internally.
"Nothing. I'm sorry I must have forgotten to turn the sound off." I answer, trying to deflect.
"I'm not stupid. Nothing isn't an answer. Give it to me." He holds his hand out to me, but I don't give it to him right away. This is a fight we've been having lately, and honestly, it's getting really old.
"It's no big deal, babe. Just let me turn it off." I go to switch the side button, but he immediately grabs my wrist in his much stronger grasp.
"Koga, stop!" I yell as he pries my phone from my fingers.
"Who are you talking to, Kagome?" He questions again as he opens my home screen. I'm not allowed to have a password on my phone so he can get into it whenever he needs to. He would just figure it out anyway, so it's easier not to.
"It's literally my boss. Please give me my phone back. I'm rearranging my schedule for this week." I reach for my phone again, but he swats me away easily.
"Your boss? At almost midnight? We've talked about this, Kagome. I don't want you talking to other men. I'll arrange your fucking schedule." He angrily punches my boss's number into his phone and shoots off a message. Hojo was prone to responding to texts late, and today was particularly busy for him. "What do you even need your schedule changed for? You aren't doing anything important next week."
"You know why, Koga," I whisper the words, not making eye contact as I gesture vaguely toward my face. I have a black eye and an open laceration on my cheek that won't be healed enough to cover for at least a day or two. At least it won't need stitches this time. He regards me, and his eyes go cold and dark.
"What, so this is my fault now? You cheating on me with another man is all because of me?" He's yelling again, eyes flaring red.
"I didn't say that. It's not your fault. And I'm not cheating on you. I never have."
"Texting Shippo counts Kagome. I put up a clear boundary with you, and you blew right through it with every intention to deceive me! That's the definition of cheating. I'm not comfortable with you talking to him. He isn't related to you. What is so hard to understand about that?" He takes a step closer to me, so I take another back. My heart is beating rapidly in my chest again, and my palms are sweating profusely.
"He's my little brother, Koga. I can't just ignore him. We talked about this! You said I could still talk to the men in my family." I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. We've had this fight over and over, and I know it's going nowhere. He's too stubborn for his own good.
"Are you seriously gaslighting me right now, Kagome? I never said you could talk to Shippo. I said, family. As in your blood brother or your grandpa. I knew I couldn't trust you. Here you go again twisting my words and doing whatever you can to make it past my comfort levels. Why do you make everything so fucking miserable? You can't keep getting away with treating me like this." He yells before stomping off toward the kitchen and throwing a vase off of the counter on his way.
"Fuck these flowers. You don't even deserve them." His words are like venom and he grinds his foot into the bouquet of peonies he bought for me this morning. An apology gift he said, but I know it was more to ease his conscience.
He throws open the fridge and grabs a beer from the top shelf and after popping off the lid he throws it back quickly. He grimaces before looking back at the label.
"You know I hate Miller. Why would you order this?" He screams out at me, eyes flaring red again. His control on his yoki is slipping as he gets angrier, and I know I have to try to diffuse the situation, or this is going to get bad. The bottle makes a crash as it shatters on the floor. I fight not to flinch, trying to supress the panic blaring in my brain. This is salvageable.
"I'm so sorry. I ordered the right one but the shopper said they were out of stock. I even asked her to show me the aisle. Look at my phone; there's a screenshot in the pictures." I don't dare make eye contact with him in this state. Fortunately he huffs out a breath and pulls my phone from his pocket. He takes a few steps in my direction.
"Thanks for trying." He offers as he hooks a hand under my chin to make me meet his eyes. For just a moment, I see something soft behind them. Something that looks like love. I hold onto the small sliver of the person I love, knowing I may not see him again for a while. Koga takes the invitation to press his lips against mine and run his hands down my neck.
Fingers creep down to my hips and up under the hem of my T-shirt, prodding the skin of my stomach before making their way back up. He guides me back to the living room before he grabs my face roughly in both hands, and his kiss becomes hungry and desperate. I do my best not to wince at the pressure against my bruised eye, but it reopens the cut there. I can feel blood slowly trickle down my cheek, but I ignore it.
I am so hopeful that he won't notice. That we can just get to the makeup sex and move on for the night, but the smell of blood causes him to reel. A growl leaves his throat, and his cold eyes open to meet my terrified ones.
"You did this on purpose!" He yells as his hands go to my shoulders, and he pushes me down onto the couch. "You lure me in. Pretend you want to reconcile. Use your body against me." He's ranting now, losing control.
"Koga," I start, but he cuts me off. I'm not even sure he heard me.
"Why do you always want me to feel like shit? You want to rub every mistake I've ever made in my face and make sure I never forget them. Well, guess what, Kagome? I'm not going to let you make me feel like shit. You want to use sex as a weapon? So can I." He easily takes my wrists in his hand and pins them above my head. His other hand is raking claws down my clothes and tearing them off of me.
"Koga, please. Stop!" I'm screaming at him and writhing to try to get away. He growls again, much louder this time, and I can feel him lose control as his energy changes. He flips me onto my stomach and shoves my face into the cushions of the couch. I'm exposed and vulnerable now with my knees on the floor. With my wrists in his hand, he threads his belt around them to lock me in place.
Trigger Warning: the following scene contains a detailed depiction of rape. Please scroll down to the section that is marked as "TW OVER" to bypass this.
I expect penetration, then. What I don't expect is for him to leave. He walks away, and I hear his footsteps retreat toward the bedroom. When he makes his way back in, something clatters to the floor as he fumbles around behind me. After a moment I hear the sound of vibration, and my heart sinks in my chest.
Suddenly, he presses an intense vibration directly against my clit, holding me against the couch with the weight of his arm on my back. I jump at the painful electric sensation of the vibration against me and feel like I have to get away. I kick my legs and scream at him to stop. Please stop.
His body covers mine and he holds me in place with his weight and an intense flare of yoki. My reiki tries to fight back, but he knows what he's doing, and it quickly fizzles out inside of me. He has so much practice pushing it down. I feel like I'm suffocating under the pressure he's exerting. His mouth touches the shell of my ear causing me to shiver involuntarily.
"You're going to cum for me. Twice. And I'm going to show you who owns your body." I let out a sob as his words sank in. I can feel my body betraying me, and my chest feels tight.
Fingers find and toy with my breasts as he runs his tongue and teeth over my skin. I close my eyes and try to push it away, not even willing it to end as much as just willing my mind to run and hide. Before long, my body responds to the stimulation, and a screeching sob leaves me as I arch into the couch. The orgasm is pulled out of me despite every attempt at resistance.
Now, he adds his fingers to the mix, thrusting them inside of me and hooking them to rub against the extremely sensitive skin that he knows will set me off. It takes mere minutes for him to take another from me, and he laughs the entire time. Nothing has ever sounded so bitter and disgusting to me.
"That's it, baby. Give me exactly what I asked for. Scream for me like the slut you are." He purrs in satisfaction. I can feel bile rise in my throat.
He slips himself inside of me, meeting little resistance, and turns off the wand, tossing it away with a thud. I jump at the sound before his body is pressed into mine again. His claws are long as he scratches at me possessively and wraps a hand up in my hair.
I assume his yokai has fully taken over now as he ruts into me from behind, pulling my head back so he has access to more of my skin. His teeth sink into the crook of my neck, marking me as his. It burns and stings as he pushes his yokai through the wound before he closes it with his tongue.
When I finally feel him release inside of me, I have no more tears left to cry. He drops me back onto the couch and stands, untying the belt from my hands on his way.
TRIGGER WARNING OVER
"You're mine, Kagome. You will always belong to me." He leans back down to whisper in my ear. Emphasizing his words by running his tongue over the mating mark he's branded into the skin of my shoulder.
And then he's gone as though nothing ever happened. I hear the shower turn on, but I'm fully unable to move from this spot. I can feel his fluids leaking out of me and onto the floor. I can feel blood on my face and running down my back from the places he scratched me. I can feel the sting left behind in my eyes from shedding too many tears. And I can feel his yoki seeping into me from the mark he left behind. He has truly taken everything from me, and at this moment, it feels like there's nothing I can do about it. No fight that I can win. I'm broken.
"Sango." I can barely force my voice to say her name as my phone stops ringing. Shrieking sobs clog my throat and shake my body, not stopping once they've started. It's late, close to 2 am, and Koga left the house an hour ago. Thankfully, he left my phone with me this time.
"I'll be there in ten minutes. Don't hang up." She replies.
She doesn't even hesitate. All I hear through the phone is her shuffling and moving around before I hear the chime of her car starting. She stays on the phone with me and lets me cry until I can't anymore. When she walks into the apartment to see me naked, bloody, and broken on the floor, she flies into action.
"Oh, Kagome." She whispers the words and takes a few steps closer to me. She doesn't touch me, but I feel the warmth of a blanket cover my body and shield it from further exposure.
My eyes and screwed shut, and I know that if I look her in the face right now, then my barely contained tears will come spilling out of me all over again. My chest feels heavy, and my heart feels like it's trying to push its way through my skin. I can hear her moving around me as different items clatter and bang. She is moving things around faster than I can think before she's standing in front of me with clean clothes and a full suitcase.
I open my eyes to see her kneel down in front of me, and I don't miss the fire burning behind her eyes. She doesn't touch me; just gives me a moment to adjust to her proximity before reaching a hand out toward me.
"I've got you." She says gently. I accept her touch, and her hands help guide me into a standing position, and I numbly dress myself. I don't care that I'm naked. I don't care that I'm covered in blood and bodily fluids. I just want to be anywhere but here in this horrible place.
Suddenly, taking in air feels hard. It's like I'm breathing through a straw, and an elephant is sitting on my chest. I start breathing rapidly and double over before we can even make it out of the house. My phone is vibrating in my pocket and it's sending a panic creeping up my spine and filling my brain. I hand her the phone, too terrified to see his name come up on the screen if I look at it myself.
She lets the phone ring to voicemail and shoots off a text instead.
Kagome [1:51AM] Sorry, showering. What's up?
His response is immediate.
Koga [1:51AM] Cool. Checking in. Be home in an hour. Bringing your favorite.
He sends a picture of the only restaurant open this late nearby; it's not my favorite. I stare blankly at my phone as I watch Sango type.
Kagome [1:52AM] Sounds good, I'm starving. Thanks.
Koga [1:52AM] Love you heart emoji
Kagome [1:52AM] Love you too heart emoji
Seeing those words on the screen turns my stomach, and a wave of nausea hits me hard. I turn away from her and the conversation with a sob and rest my forehead against the wall to stabilize myself. I hear her turn my phone off and toss it onto the floor with a bang as she ushers me out of the door and into her car. Her hand held mine gently, and she leaned forward to place a kiss on my forehead to help calm me down again.
"We've got this. You and me. Let's get the fuck out of here." She squeezes my hand, and finally, the tears don't feel like they will drown me. I have Sango. I'm not alone. Maybe he will never hurt me again. I can only hope.
"Okay," I whisper as she shuts the door and hops into the driver's seat.
At some point, I've fallen asleep, and quiet conversation is the first thing I hear as I come to. I look around at my unfamiliar surroundings to see that I'm lying on a small medical bench in a place that almost looks like a doctor's office.
Sango is standing in the corner talking to an older woman with her white hair pulled up in a tight bun. I'm still wearing my clothes, but my hair is braided up out of my face. I run my fingers over the braid and realize that this is Sango's work; I'd recognize it anywhere. She used to do my hair and makeup for all special occasions, and she was killer at it.
Despite being incredibly intelligent and athletically skilled, she also loves makeup, hair, and a nice dress. I always appreciated that about her. We bonded over our love of fashion, and for most of my life, you would only catch me in a skirt. I tugged at the fabric of my sweatpants, which had twisted around my legs a little when I was carried into this room.
"Sango?" My voice creaks with the effort of speaking.
"Hey, love." She rushes to me and takes my hand. The blanket covering me is pulled up higher as I shiver. "I'm sorry for the change of scenery, but I carried you inside so you could rest a little. It's late. I wanted you to sleep before we had to be up for a while, and you were out cold." She gestures for the older woman to come forward. "Kagome, this is Kaede. She is a healer and a doctor and is here to help you." She gestures to the woman still standing across the room before taking a seat at my side and levels me with a heavy look. I can hear her phone vibrating in her pocket, but she ignores the call and thankfully silences it. The sound of the vibration causes goose bumps to raise on my skin, and my chest to thump along with my heavy heartbeat.
"I think we need to take some pictures of your body. Kaede would like to do a rape kit and report this to the yokai police." Before she can continue, I shoot up off the bed. Raw panic floods my body and my extremities feel simultaneously hot and cold.
"No. We can't get the police involved. He'll kill me, Sango. He'll kill you. He's untouchable. There's nothing they can do." My head spins with a vortex of worst-case scenarios. Koga would never forgive me for jeopardizing his future with the family business or for smearing his name in the press. They would eat this up.
"He's going to get into so much trouble. He's going to be so mad at me. My leaving is bad enough but if I involve the police he's going to freak out. He's going to…." My frantic thoughts come to a halt as Sango moves back into view.
"Breathe, Kagome." Sango's hands are in mine and the warmth of her touch helps calm my racing heart. When her eyes lock with mine, I see nothing but care and concern there. "He isn't going to find you. I'm making sure of it, I promise. I really think you should talk to the Yokai police. They aren't the same as human police. The system is set up to help people like you. Like us. It's going to be okay." She reassures me, and I find myself believing her.
I've already left. I've already made him angry. I've already gotten the worst of his torture. If I can get some kind of record of this situation, then maybe I could be safe one day. Maybe Sango has a point. I nod my head, and she turns toward Kaede to give the go-ahead. Before she walks away from me, I grab her hand again.
"Please don't leave me," I whisper.
"Wouldn't dream of it." She cups my cheek with her hand and presses her forehead against mine. The gesture is reassuring and so welcome after the hell of today. Her phone vibrates in her pocket again, startling me, but she quickly hits the hold button and silences it.
Kaede leaves the room, and Sango helps me change into the hospital gown and cover myself. I can feel the sore spots and deep bruises as I move around and try to change. She helps pull my clothes off and replaces them with a hospital gown.
Sango stays by my side and holds my hand as Kaede comes back and pulls up a rolling stool to be at eye level of the bed I'm lying on.
"Hi, Kagome. My name is Kaede. I'm a Miko like you and a professionally trained doctor. I am going to make this as painless as possible, and we are moving at your pace, okay? If you get uncomfortable or scared, I want you to let me know, okay?" She waits for my response for a moment before continuing when I nod.
"Would you like Sango to stay?" She has a calm demeanor, and there is an ever-present feeling that I can trust her.
"Yes, please." I nod, and she returns the nod.
"Can I take your hand please?" She asks. I offer it to her and she puts in between both of hers. After a second, I can feel her Reiki pulse against my skin like warm water. It's comforting, and I suddenly feel like I can breathe a little better.
"Just a little something for the nerves." She explains, before she and Sango help me stand. Kaede gets pictures of my entire body with the web camera to upload into my electronic medical record.
She gets up close with a ruler to all of the scratches, bruises, and lacerations. I have claw marks on my back, sides, and hips. There are bruises on my wrists and the back of my neck that look angry and purple. There is a bite mark on my shoulder that is raw and red with scabbed-over blood around it. Fortunatley, I can't feel any pain right now. But the pictures bring an awareness to the damage done to my body that I didn't have before.
Once we're done with the pictures, I lay back down on the bed and they bring in an X-ray machine. I have years of injuries that never healed correctly that tell the story of how much Koga has put his hands on me. I know how many bones had broken and were never set correctly. I could feel them and prod them with my Reiki to accelerate the healing process so I could continue my day to day.
Once its time for the physical exam I steel myself. But, the moment my feet are in the stirrups I'm hyperventilating again, feeling exposed and vulnerable. Sango whispers comforting words and lets me hold her hand so tight I feel like I could crush it. I bury my face in her shoulder and pull her as close to me as I can get.
"You'll feel my touch, Kagome. This will go fast, but let me know if you need to stop."
I take several deep, shuddering breaths, pulling in on myself so I don't feel so exposed.
Kaede takes samples and does some poking and prodding for a few minutes. She is gentle and quick to keep things as easy as she can. Finally she pulls out some kind of crystal and waves it in the air around me. It pulses with a red light and then fades.
"Okay, Kagome, you did it. That's the last of it. I have DNA, photos, and now evidence that Yoki was used against you with malice. This crystal detects energies meant to harm you, and it reacted when I pulled it out. Like DNA, it will only lead us back to one person."
I look back at her with wide eyes as I take in that information. I had heard of that kind of technology, but I never thought I would need something like that in my life. I find myself incredibly thankful Sango brought me here. When all is said and done, she types up some notes of her findings and puts vials into biohazard bags. I hear Sango's phone vibrating again in her pocket and shoot her a look. She just shakes her head.
"Okay, doll. Let's get you dressed. My friend in the Yokai police department is ready when you are. Once you're dressed again, just open the door, and she will come in to talk to you." Kaede puts her hand on mine again and gives me another wave of her calming reiki. "You did great." After the officer is done, I will have my nurse come in and give you a morning-after pill, okay? That will make it less likely for you to get pregnant." My eyes widen at the statement. I hadn't even thought about that possibility. I nod in agreement, and she leaves the room. Sango's phone vibrates a few times in quick succession. She briefly takes a look at the screen and tucks it away.
"Is it him?" I ask, not meeting her eyes. My hands shake as I start gathering my clothes.
"Don't you worry about that. Let me handle it." She says, insistent. I nod, but can't trust my voice. I would love nothing more than to never have to worry about Koga again.
Sango helps support me as I slide back into my joggers and T-shirt. She remembered to grab my favorite sweatshirt as we were leaving and I'm incredibly thankful as the purple fabric wraps me up. It has a terrible picture of the two of us in college on it that she had made before we graduated. It's one of my most prized possessions and one of the few things Koga let me keep when I moved in with him.
"Ready?" She asks, looking at the door. I take a few deep inhales and close my eyes.
"Yeah." She opens the door and comes back to sit at my side. Knuckles wrap respectfully at the door frame.
"Hi there. Can I come in?" A woman pokes her head around the corner. She isn't much older than me and Sango, but her eyes glow a bright red. "My name is Kagura." She starts as she takes a step inside. "I'm Yokai police. I'm here to collect a statement from you." She takes a few steps into the room when Sango and I nod.
"I hear you've been through something awful. I hope I can help be a good resource for you during this process to keep you safe. I will write down everything that happened on my tablet so that I can start a file for this case. I already have pictures from Kaede, and they will be sending over a bunch of medical records to us as well. When the kit comes back, those results will all be added to your file, and we will have all the information needed to press charges against your assailant. First things first here," she pauses and pulls out a folder from her bag.
"This is the paperwork for a Yokai order of protection. I added the medical records I have to the packet already, which show the long-standing evidence of abuse. Once you have this filled out and approved, it's effective for human and yokai police. There is more than enough information here, even without final testing, in order for this to be approved by a judge. The person who did this won't be allowed to come near you, and if they do, they'll be arrested immediately.
Kaede got an aura sample as well and that will prove without a shadow of a doubt who did this to you on top of all the DNA evidence. The fact that Yoki was used against you maliciously will put a nail in his coffin. My card is paperclipped on top of the file. Call me once you have everything you need, and I will personally take this in to be processed for you." My head is spinning from all the information and I find myself staring back at her with confusion.
"You have time for that?" I ask.
"Like you wouldn't believe. Yokai police is a small sect with a small population. And we take care of our own." Kagura shoots a wink to Sango and I furrow my brow before I realize.
Sango is a lawyer, just like her mother and grandmother before her. If you trace her family tree back far enough then you'll find a slew of demon slayers in their history. Once demons began to assimilate into human society, Sango's ancestors helped found the Yokai police and Yokai law that set precedents for yokai political systems worldwide.
She is the equivalent of a Yokai assistant district attorney right now, and she is stupidly good at her job. Her mother still holds the district attorney position until she retires and hands the position over to her daughter. Sango is incredibly proud of her job and she is one of the most dedicated people I know. Unfortunately it often leaves her social life lacking, and it's not super often that we get to spend a lot of time together. That wasn't a huge problem with Koga since he didn't have to share me with my best friend.
"Thank you, Kagura." Sango gives a quick return smile, but all of her attention is occupied with checking to make sure I'm okay. I squeeze her hand sympathetically, feeling like the world's biggest burden.
"Will you tell me what happened?" Kagura asks, putting her pen to her tablet. I launch into the details in as much depth as I can. If Sango wasn't by my side I would have lost it within the first several seconds of the story. As it is, tears are streaming and I find myself shaking. Recounting his words is the hardest part, and I can feel the shame settle into my chest.
When I finish the story I look up to see Sango wiping tears from her eyes. She quickly moves to wrap her arms around me, I'm assuming to hide that she was crying.
"Thank you, Ms. Higurashi. I have the statement recorded along with all of the other evidence. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. But I'm so happy to see that you still have a support system to lean on. Call me or even text me if you need anything, and I will do whatever I can to help." She nods as she moves to leave the room, and we are alone again for a moment. Sango's phone vibrates in her pocket, eliciting a gasp from me again. There goes my heart rate again, climbing and pulsing in my chest.
"Maybe you should answer it." I offer with my head on her chest.
"Once the nurse is in here, I will, 'kay?" Her hand rubs my hair reassuringly, and it's not long before the nurse enters with some pills in a medicine cup and a small cup of water. Sango exits the room with her phone, putting it to her ear as she passes the threshold. A shiver runs through me like her proximity was the only thing holding me together. I'm so thankful to have her.