Fight Club: Detour – 3/16/2024

Commentators
Glynda Goodwitch (RWBY)
Abnes (Hyperdimension Neptunia)
Sajuna Inui (My Dress Up Darling)

Chapter 1 – Champions' Showcase

(Announcer): And now… UCPW & JWW Presents… Fight Club: DETOUR!

Pyro goes off, as the fans cheer on.

(Glynda): JWW and UCPW are on The Road to WrestleMania! And we're coming to you live from the Bridgestone Center in Nashville, Tennessee, the home of the Nashville Predators! We are three weeks away from WrestleMania 40, but only two weeks before Celestia Arena 35, and its huge main event!
Hello, everyone, I'm Glynda Goodwitch, and I'm joined by my broadcast partner, Sajuna Inui.

(Sajuna): That's right. We are on the road to Celestia Arena, and we got a packed card tonight, as we take one final detour here in Music City, heading en route to Tokyo, and then to Philadelphia!

The crowd cheers, as the music hits (Pat McAfee's theme).

(PA): HEY! LET'S! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Abnes came out on stage, as the fans cheered on, wildly.

(Glynda): And look who's joining us on commentary! My old broadcast partner!

Abnes sits with Glynda and said, "I'm back in Fight Club, baby! Abnes is here, representing the sport!"

Glynda smiled, "Good to see you, old friend. Abnes is my partner in JWW and on Monday Night RAW. Sajuna Inui, of course, she runs play-by-play on SmackDown and Premium Live Events."

"Tournament Season is upon us." Abnes smiled, "Tonight's the night!"

Glynda said, "Tonight, in our main event, the finals to determine the #1 contender for the JWW Universal Title. Who will face Asuna Yuuki at Celestia Arena 35?"

Sajuna said, "And also, the Tag Team Tournament comes to a close, as the Finals will determine who gets a future Tag Team Title Opportunity."

Cut to the ring, as the General Managers are in the ring.

(Announcer): Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome at this time… UCPW General Managers, Lana Kane & Winter Schnee, and JWW Osaka General Manager, Reine Murasame!

Reine said, "Nashville, Welcome to Fight Club: Detour!" The fans cheered, "And tonight, we are presenting a special Champions Showcase, featuring our World Champions. With that said, please welcome first… The JWW Universal Champion, Asuna Yuuki!"

Asuna Yuuki appeared, as My Independent Destiny plays. They cheered for her. Fans cheered on, as she headed to the ring.

Winter Schnee has the microphone, "And now, we welcome, for the first time ever, a champion that is the Best Girl… She is my sister, and the NXT Champion, Weiss Schnee!"

Weiss comes out, as boos roared down on her.

(Glynda): During WrestleMania season, we have NXT Stand and Deliver. And Weiss Schnee will defend the NXT Championship against Megu-nee Sakura, Saturday, April 6th at Stand and Deliver.

(Abnes): But the Best Girl in Osaka Brand has a chance to add the Universal Title into her trophy case, as she faces Chelsea in our main event! Right next to her Danganronpa Title, her JWW Championships, and her IWGP World Title. Centerpiece spot.

(Glynda): Weiss looks to possibly capture the Universal Title, a title that has eluded her.

Winter smiled, "And now, ladies and gentlemen, the next World Champion… She is the UCPW World Heavyweight Champion, Subaru Freakin' Mikage!"

(PA): BURN IT DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!

Subaru appeared, dressed in a fur jacket, orange and pink tights, and sunglasses, as the fans cheered on. They sang along, as Subaru conducted.

(Sajuna): The Visionary! The most-dressed superstar in UCPW!

(Abnes): Flamboyant to the very end, but she's no Abnes! I'm very sharp!

"Ohhhhh… ohhh-ohhh-ohhh…
Ohhhhh-ohhhh…"
BURN IT DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!

Subaru entered the ring, cackling, as she raised her title to Weiss & Asuna Yuuki. Subaru was in the center of the ring, and the fans cheered and sang.

"Ohhhhh… Whoaaaa-ohhh-ohhh…
Ohhh-OHHHH
Ohhhhh… Whoaaaaa-ohhh-ohhh…
Ohhh-ohhhh…"

Subaru smirked, as Lana has the microphone. "And now, the best for last – or worse – accompanied by The Wiseman Paul Heyman and Kandy Potter… from The Inner Kingdom, the JWW Champion, Neo Politan, and the Undisputed UCPW Universal Champion, Peter Giese!"

Fans booed, as Roman Reigns' theme plays. Peter, Neo, Heyman, & Kandy appear onstage.

(Abnes): The Inner Kingdom, the dynasty that dominates BOTH brands. The Judgment Day are wrong! The Inner Kingdom runs ALL UCPW and JWW! Led by The Demigod, The Devil, and Hall of Fame Inductee, The Wiseman!

Peter & Neo raised their titles high, as Kandy raised her index finger high, while Heyman prays to Giese. Pyro goes off, and The Inner Kingdom walks slowly down the ramp.

(Glynda): Peter Giese says it best. Count the days! 1,171 days as champion, and only 3 weeks before his showdown, his rematch with the Platinum Nightmare, Dawn, at WrestleMania!

(Sajuna): But that's at Night 2, Goodwitch. What about the bombshell of a Night 1 Main Event! It's not just Dawn, it's Tampa Fight Club's Lara Gonzalez! Mortal enemies join forces, battling for the Main Event in Night 2!

(Glynda): That's in Night 1! Peter Giese & Lara Gonzalez take on Dawn & Subaru Freakin' Mikage, with Night 2 implications! But ladies, before that, Neo Politan defends her JWW Championship against her former friend, Cinder Fall.

(Abnes): Cinder went from Cinder Failure to Cinder Payback! Cinder finally gets her hands on the woman that brutalized her. Will Cinder beat Neo at Celestia Arena 35?

(Glynda): Won the JWW Royal Rumble, just to get her revenge. But standing in her warpath, The Inner Kingdom! And absent are the rest of Kandy's so-called dynasty.

(Sajuna): Lana Kane only said that the champs are invited, so Nodoka Miyazaki & Setsuna Sakurazaki have to stay in the back.

Peter & Neo raise their titles, as pyro goes off. Peter takes the microphone from Lana, and he called out, "NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE!" The fans cheered on. Neo took the microphone, and then raised her finger up high. Peter, Kandy, & Heyman raised theirs.

(Abnes): Translation: Hail to the champs, baby!

Peter smirked, "Now, she's speaking for me… Sorta. Anyways–." Asuna snatched the microphone from him, and she said, "Sorry, but I think the JWW Universe all agree, and Subaru also agrees… No one wants to hear the lies from your so-called Demigod, Mr. 1,000, Mr. WrestleMania, and moreover… The biggest sell-out in the world." The fans cheered.

Subaru said, "Ladies… esteemed General Managers… Would you please take it outside? Because we have a lot to discuss." Subaru & Asuna Yuuki stood side-by-side, as Winter, Lana, & Reine leave the ring.

Weiss called, "You know, you're right. But for the debate, heading into WrestleMania Season, I believe… The Best Girl goes first!" The fans booed, "Boo me all you want! It's true! Later tonight, I'm going to take over and win tonight's main event, to face this pretender to the throne, Chelsea, heading into Celestia Arena! And moreover… I will become JWW Universal Champion, but if Ran Kotobuki is somewhere watching this, and I hold that title over my head, with my NXT Champion, when I defend it successfully… JWW Osaka… will… … … Sorry, I can't say it in front of him. But rest assured…"

She turned to Peter Giese, "I, and the Ice Queendom, acknowledge you, The Demigod." They shook hands, as Peter smiled. Fans booed, as Subaru huffed, "Ice Queen just drank his Kool-aid…"

Subaru barked, "If you are done… berating this bullshit with The Inner Kingdom, then listen up! Night 1… before I battle Kuon Ginga at WrestleMania, Dawn and I will trounce you… and Lara Gonzalez. Because in Philly, at WrestleMania, The Legend Himself and The Tribal Chief will tear the place down in Lincoln Financial Field, but it'll be us that comes out on top! On one side, you got The Platinum Nightmare, the winner of two straight Royal Rumbles, Dawn… and you got The Visionary, The Revolutionary, THE World Heavyweight Champion, SUBARU FREAKIN' MIKAGE!"

The fans went wild, as Subaru continued, "And yes, Weiss is busy with Celestia Arena, whereas Dawn & I… we are going to derail Tampa Fight Club's crusade of taking everything at WrestleMania."

Asuna Yuuki said, "And believe me, Weiss. If it's truly you that wins tonight… I'm going to see to it that you will make it to Celestia Arena, but won't make it to Philadelphia, afterwards."

Neo stepped in, and Kandy spoke for her. "Listen, twerp." The fans booed. "First of all, you don't interrupt the Legend Himself, the TRUE Head of the Table! Second of all, who the hell are you?" She scoffed and chuckled, "I mean, you're the champion? Hell, you're not even in Neo's level."

"But I can beat your ass, like I'm gonna do to Neo, if you don't get out of my face!" Asuna Yuuki barked, "For months, for 3 years, I had to hear the garbage spewed by you, by The Wiseman, and by him! I earned this opportunity, not handed to, like it was a golden ticket! This man has held it for three years, yet he didn't beat Ophelia. I beat Ophelia, and I won the Universal Title! And I plan to hold it for three years, maybe longer, but this time… I'm gonna do it better than him."

Neo glared at Asuna, and Peter stepped in. He said, "You be very careful. The last time someone stepped up and tried to be my equal, they got smashed. It's a long list, rookie. But name three I've faced and won, and kept my title, only to become dominant!"

Asuna stated, "I know it's not Subaru. You can't beat her."

The fans cheered, as Peter growled, "I have beaten her. Remember Money in the Bank? You were wide open, Mikage! And that was my first Universal Title! My second reign is longer than the first! But there's a time when I'll finally beat you, properly. Because you, Miss Universal Champion… cannot be equal to me. You are no Peter Giese! And you are no Neo Politan! You're not even in my league! These people here in Music City, they enjoy their proud champions, but you're no champion. Just a lucky kid."

Kandy said, "And you think you're Hulk Hogan! This man isn't King Kong Bundy, or Andre the Giant, or Macho Man Randy Savage, or the mighty Yokozuna, or even… The Rock!" Kandy stated, "This man – SHUT UP! – This man is more than that! WrestleMania 9, he beat a scheming wannabe to win his first title! He's Mr. WrestleMania, for a reason! He main evented MORE WrestleManias than YOU ever did! WrestleMania 14! WrestleMania 15! WrestleMania 16! WrestleMania 25! 26! 28! 29! 37! 38! 39! AND IT'S GONNA BE FUCKING FORTY!" The fans booed wildly, as Kandy glared at Yuuki, "And this is your first rodeo, kiddo! You wanna make your ass famous? Win. You wanna make a name for yourself in JWW? WIN! YOU WANNA BE A WORLD CHAMPION, AND HEADLINE YOUR FIRST CELESTIA ARENA? WIN! Because when the pressure is on, the only two routes you have to do is… SINK! Or SWIM!" Kandy leered at Yuuki, "So, start swimming, ya guppy."

Kandy stepped back, as Yuuki was upset.

Cinder Fall comes out, with a microphone in hand, "Enough of this! Here we go again! This Championship Showcase is going to end, like it always has… in chaos! But hey, I don't wanna miss out!"

"DON'T YOU–! DON'T YOU GET IN THIS RING!" Kandy yelled, "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!"

Cinder stepped in the ring, and Peter pushed Kandy aside. Cinder went to Neo and said, "They're right. Except this also applies to you, Neo. Last year, you humiliated me, you embarrassed me, and what did you do? You sold out to this platinum-haired devil, for money."

Neo shook her head NO. Cinder stated, "But you wanted more. These people loved you! They admired you, because you're a top star now! But now… They hate you more than Quinn Morgendorffer on Parole Day!" The fans cheered, as Neo was upset. Subaru cackled, "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA! Good one!"

Subaru said to them, "Tampa Fight Club ain't coming, by the way! But I am making a promise… Night 1 at WrestleMania! If we win, it'll be one-on-one, NO Inner Kingdom, NO interference, it'll just be you and Dawn, for your title. Because I'm going to help… FINISH the Story!" Subaru said to Neo, "And as for you, you mute moppet… I hope Cinder Fall burns you… just like how Kandy Potter will be, when she chokes at Celestia Arena."

Neo stepped back, as Kandy held her back.

But then, Kuon Ginga's theme plays (Drew MacIntyre's theme), and she heads to the ring.

"Subie… Subie… You don't need to worry about The Inner Kingdom or Dawn. You have to worry about me. See, at WrestleMania, I am going to Philadelphia, and I'm going to take what you hold dear. I mean, sure. You have double duty, but… Imagine what I will do to you, with what's left of your mangled body, after Giese & Gonzalez smash you all over the place. That gives me enough breathing room to boot your head off." The fans booed, as Heyman and Kandy left the ring. Kuon entered the ring, as she, Neo, & Peter stare down at Yuuki, Subaru, & Cinder. Weiss was in the middle, completely upset.

"Really?" Weiss barked, "You have a beef on each other… and you…" She went in the middle and roared, "DON'T IGNORE ME!" Weiss hollered, "I! AM SICK! OF BEING! IGNORED! TONIGHT IS MY NIGHT! I WILL WALK INTO THE MAIN EVENT, AND BECOME UNIVERSAL CHAMPION! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED BY YOU THREE WANNABES!" Weiss joked, "What did you call Peter Giese, back then? The League of Extraordinary Has-Beens?"

"I said… Arrogant Has-beens." Cinder stated.

Weiss said, "Good. Because you three are unique. We have a wannabe…" referring to Yuuki, "a failure…" referring to Cinder, "And a J(CENSORED)-OFF!" referring to Subaru, and the fans cheered wildly. Heyman dropped his jaw, and Kandy was shocked.

Cinder huffed, "Well that makes you… better than that. Because you're an asshole."

The crowd cried, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" Weiss was appalled.

They all stared down, as Peter was the first to speak, "Alright, listen… You all have your say, but here me out. The next person that steps in and interrupts this debate and dispute… I'm just gonna drop everything and leave. Not after I smash that person's face off." he said to Cinder, "Last time we chatted, you pushed me. So I'm not going to fall for your disgraceful actions. Neo was chosen by me, as the one who'll lead JWW to greatness, unlike a one-eyed joke like you. I'm going to WrestleMania, and I will defend my title, whether it be Dawn or Lara Gonzalez… I will have a week to prepare, when I watch you fail, like the bitch that you are. You can't ever beat Neo! And you damn sure cannot beat me… Hell, you've been promising me a match, between champion and champion, yet here you are without a title! Neo's the champ! Not you! And you wanna challenge me?
Well, don't be asking every week what you want on your Dream List! Because no matter what, you're never facing me… Ever!"

They stared down, but Dawn's theme plays. She marched down the ring and head to the Babyfaces' side. Everyone prepared to fight.

(Abnes): Things are getting hot!

(Glynda): The Platinum Nightmare, Dawn, I believe didn't bring a microphone! Time for talk is over!

(Sajuna): And these eight are about to explode in Nashville!

(PA): IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! WHAT THE ROCK! IS COOKING!

Lightning struck, as the stage went electrifying. The music slows down (The Rock's Heel theme from 2001).

(Glynda): A HUSH FELL IN NASHVILLE!

(Abnes): The intensity goes from chaotic, to electrifying!

Sora Takenouchi appears, as the crowd goes ballistic. Sora slowly walked to the ring, then stops, feeling her right arm. She signaled to the camera, saying she has goosebumps. Sora heads to the ring, as everyone else stepped back. Sora was in the center of the ring, microphone in hand.

(Sajuna): The Final Boss is here… in Fight Club!

(Glynda): And she plays a part in this WrestleMania issue. But why Sora, involved in this Champions' Showcase?

Sora held the microphone and said, "Before I appreciate the greets and gestures of your city… let me say this. The JWW Universe and UCPW Universe… I walk down the ramp, and I was miles away from Memphis, and I was present in Memphis, last night. Because Sora was to sing a song for you guys, but this is different. This city is way different… But Sora's doing something real special." She turns to the group, "The next person… to say another word… gets their asses kicked! You people, listen… Understand, because – I love you, too. I'm glad you enjoyed my concert. – because we want order in this Championship Showcase. World Titles from across the land. And it's all because of you. It's all because of the JWW Universe and UCPW Universe. And it starts at Celestia Arena, and then WrestleMania… because FINALLY!
FINALLY! SORA! HAS COME BACK! TO NASHVILLE!"

They cheered, as Sora said, "Now, all of you, you shut your mouths, and listen up! Because I'm a rock and you're in a hard place, because The Rock is here to make things better, starting with you jabronis, and you four hand-me-down clowns, you need to listen up! I'm here to make sure when you run your mouths, all you do is blast off and go into chaos! Well, The Rock is here… to make sure that everything goes down the middle! If ANY of YOU lay a hand on each other, until Celestia Arena OR WrestleMania, then you will never get another opportunity again… You can kiss your WrestleMania Moment goodbye! But… Remember one thing! Sora "The Rock" Takenouchi – Sorry, Dwayne, you don't mind. – The Rock works for Titan Entertainment, aka Venture Enterprises, effective on April Fools, which is 5 nights from WrestleMania, and five nights from your candy asses fighting in this ring, about to be famous!"

The fans cheered on, as Sora concluded, "But let The Rock remind you… I am keeping this one, down the middle! For those of you that don't know the stipulations… If Dawn & Subaru wins, if these Cody Crybabies win, The Inner Kingdom is banned from Night 2 of WrestleMania. But if Giese and Gonzalez win, then it'll be a triple threat match at WrestleMania for the UCPW Universal Title. And to make sure you prissy little wannabes try anything funny, even you Clown Shoes! And to make sure that we have a fair and even playing field… The Rock will be at Night 1. Sora will be at Night 1!
Sora "The Rock" Takenouchi will be at Philadelphia, in Night 1 of WrestleMania! And The Rock… will be… the Special Guest Referee!"

(Sajuna): WHAT?

(Abnes): BOMBSHELL AHOY!

Sora stated, "So! While your matches are official! Yes, you will face each other at some point, only The Rock will make sure that you behave, until Celestia Arena 35. Because you're looking at Sora Takenouchi, placeholder and member of Venture Enterprises, in other words, I'm your boss! So, if any of you try to defy me, and lay a hand on anyone–."

Dawn barked, "Sora, will you shut the hell up?" The fans cheered, as Sora stopped. Dawn responded, "I don't wanna hear 40 minutes worth of your speeches! The Rock is here, but if you're going to be the referee for his match… maybe you need someone as an enforcer." Dawn stated, "I was thinking… Since The Inner Kingdom and Tampa Fight Club are in a temporary ceasefire and crossover, how do we know that you will call it down the middle?"

Sora said to Dawn, "Watch it, kid. If you lay your hand on me… know that The Rock will make sure you don't finish your story. The Rock is going to be fair and impartial. Giese and I have had a history. But this is different. You win, you're Kingdom-free. But if they win, it's a Triple Threat Match. Giese, Dawn, Gonzalez… WrestleMania.
As for Cinder vs. Neo… and as for whoever wins between Weiss vs. Chelsea, just know this… The Rock wants to know… Who will face Asuna Yuuki? And The Rock will answer… It doesn't matter WHO wins!"

They applauded, as Sora concluded, "So, what you need to do now, all eight of you… Get out of the ring, and DO NOT RUIN Fight Club! And by the way, Ice Queen… You're leaking cold fluid from your head. Possibly from The most electrifying woman in all of this sport… or possibly from fighting Chelsea, and later, this little shrimp, Asuna Yuuki."

The Inner Kingdom left the ring, as did Kuon Ginga. The fans applauded, as everyone departed the ring, leaving only Sora and Dawn in the middle of the ring. Sora said to Dawn, "Before you leave… … … before you even try… Trust me. The Rock is NOT with him, or her… meaning… I'm not The Bloodline or Tampa Fight Club. And I damn sure not you." She hissed, "But… you think for one second I was joking about last night?"

Dawn growled, as Sora concluded, "If you even… try to lay your hands on me at WrestleMania, I'm gonna take that belt, the same belt I brought, and I'm going to lash out at you until you bleed. So… If you really want to earn a one-on-one rematch with my teacher and mentor, then you have to remember one thing – The Outcome matters not… because if you get out of line, then The Rock promises… You, Dawn… You will never finish the story."

Sora and Dawn stare down, glaring at each other.

(Abnes): A little Poké-Digi feeling in Nashville.

(Sajuna): Yeah, Dawn hasn't forgotten the words Sora Takenouchi said to her, last night.

(Glynda): Already, the chaos has subsided before it even exploded, but nonetheless, Sora Takenouchi, she has hired herself as the Special Guest Referee for Night 1 of WrestleMania! What a hot scoop!

(Sajuna): Sora The Rock is going to call it down the middle, as she is simply Neutral Territory.

(Glynda): And Sora added that there's a Hold Harmless agreement for the World Champions and their challengers, before Celestia Arena. If any one lays a finger on each other, there will be consequences.

(Sajuna): And that's bad for anyone that tries to make The Final Boss angry, maybe risking their Main Event spot in the process!

(Glynda): Well, coming up, the Finals of our Tag Team Tournament. Kandy Potter's prized champions, Saki & Tachibana versus A-Town Justice, Akari Yukimura and Seryu Ubiquitous. Winner gets a future Tag Team Title Opportunity of their choice.
And speaking of, the announcement for WrestleMania, by Lana Kane and Winter Schnee – A Six-Team Ladder Match for the UCPW Tag Team Titles! Champions The Judgment Day and Tampa Fight Club are already in the match, and we'll have four more teams named, starting Monday Night.