Chapter 18

Tara watched as Jax and Nero pulled out of the lot. She looked back over to her sons, Unser was pushing Abel on the swings she frowned. As she got closer she could see him wince.

"You shouldn't be over doing it."

"Im ok." Unser replied and it was true he was enjoying spending time with the kids and having time away from all the bullshit.

"Sit." Tara instructed leaving no room for argument so Unser gave Abel a playful smile which he returned with a laugh. Unser took a sit on the bench before Tara unzipped his jacket and pulled back his bandages. "Well it doesn't look like you pulled the stitches." Tara spoke as she checked the cuts."But you should be taking it easy."

"I will." Tara recovered the wounds.

"So, uh, that little coven I walked in on the other day. Not sure what's going on but I got the impression it was all very hush-hush." Tara took a breath. She knew that he would have questions he told her so but Tara wasn't sure if she was ready to answer his questions. "It was obvious you didn't want Gemma to know. Is this an exist strategy?"

"It's best you dont know Wayne." And then he surprised her.

"Do you need my help?" She was surprised by his words. Would he help her, would he really go behind Jax and Gemma's back.

"If I said yes?" She asked cautiously

"Then I would say I need to know all the facts. It's an offer, think about it." And Tara really would.

"You guys have been doing a lot of remodelling huh."

Jax looked over to the drivers side at Nero. He'd obviously had a conversation with his mother given the 'remodelling' comment. That was the standard TM/Samcro line whenever they locked down TM. When Jax didn't answer straight away Nero continued.

"Everyone seems pretty versed in the lockdown routine." Nero added as he glanced at Jax. He couldn't tell if he pissed of or not. But Nero had had his eyes opened in the past few weeks. The School shooting, him pulling the trigger on his own family, taken in under a murder charge of one of his girls which he would never do and now this lockdown, forced to close the doors on Diosa something he had never done in the past.

When he and Gemma met in the club there was just something about her, Nero was hooked. She was full of spark and it kind of made Nero feel alive again. She introduced him to her family her life and it was different. Nero wasn't new to this kind of life but his old crew compared to Samcro but he loved Gemma and he loved her family. Jax, Nicole both were great kids. Nero could see what Jax was trying to do and he got it which was why he was happy to go into the escort business with Jax and he said from the start they would keep shit separate, Diosa was on the straight up. But now with his recent arrest and just watching not only Gemma but Nicole and Tara even Lyla and how they had to adapt and take on club blow back Nero was concerned about the relationship with Samcro especially when starting to expand to Stockton.

"So where you at with the Irish?"

"Thought you didn't want to blur the lines and know about my other businesses?" Jax countered going back to their original agreement.

"Your kidding right? You gave my guy a gun, and his old Lady's kid used it to wipe out a whole classroom. "

"You're putting that on me?" Jax's anger clear

Nero shook his head. "No im putting it on both of us." The two finally looked at one another and Jax realised just how much shit weighing on him. "I'm part of your other business right now, whether I want it or not"

Jax sighed. He hated that Nero was getting caught up this. He saw Nero as a way to get the club making legit money, he had been in this life and turned it round went straight, well as straight as men like them could. He did want this shit to jeopardise the end goal. Jax wanted to go straight.

"Look, Diosa is my priority. The Irish, this partnership, the violence, moves im making that's going to end all of that." Nero shook his head.

"Killing your guys, that the Irish pissed about you moving off guns?"

"Yeah, and it's probably gonna get worse before it gets better."

"You think they had anything to do with my girl getting killed?"

"No. If they wanted to kill someone they would have gone for someone close, family."

The comment caught Nero's attention. This was his fear. Because he knew what he meant or rather which women were in danger and all of them were to close to home.

"I know it's messy but I promise I will make this work. I get with what's going on you might not believe me but please dont on this, let me prove it." Nero shrugged.

"I'm just looking for a little disclosure, ese." Nero motioned between the two of them. "You don't have to give me all the details, just uh tell me when to duck huh." Jax smirked

"Fair enough I'll let you now." Jax fell silent for a moment before looking back to Nero. "Plus I am letting you tap my Mom that has to to be worth somethin'."

"Ouch." Nero shook his head but the comment made them both laugh. "Im going to pretend I didn't hear that."

As the two continued in a lighter conversation neither noticed the car following them.

Nicole sat on one of the benches outside. She had just said bye to Happy again. As SAA he had a job to do and Nicole wouldn't stop him from doing that but she just missed him, even if he had try to lay down the law with her before he left Nicole felt more comfortable with him around.

Since they had been keeping their little secret it had just become her and him, and well Phil but with that thought Nicole just felt sad. She missed Phil, for a long time now he had been there and kind of became a friend and being in this life you didn't have many friends.

Nicole rolled her head on her shoulders. She really needed a hit right now. Drugs, cigarette, booze Nicole didn't care, she just needed something to take the edge off but she knew she couldn't.

Running her fingers through her hair Nicole slid off the bench. Although she wouldn't take anything she hadn't felt this urge in a very long time. The need to feel nothing was there and the fact that she was locked up, eyes on her and Happy was gone the itch was strong. She needed to talk to someone but there was no one here who she could speak to about this.

At that point her eyes drifted over over the lot before finally resting on Ellie. She was sat in the park in the corner with a book in front of her.

Seeing all the kids here was strange to Nicole right now, but Kenny and Piper were loving being stuck in the clubhouse playing pool but then this was a man's a world. Nicole remembered all to well what it was like to be a teenage girl during a lockdown.

With that in mind Nicole made her way over to the young girl. Looking over Ellie's shoulder Nicole finally realised that she was drawing. It was beautiful. Who knew the crooked rainbows and stick men could evolve into a realistic and beautiful picture of her Mom, Donna.

"Your Mom was so beautiful."

Ellie jumped closing the pad and looking over her shoulder. She relaxed when she saw Nicole standing there.

"I didn't know you could draw like that." Nicole continued coming round to sit next to the young girl. She just shrugged so Nicole continued. "Sucks doesn't it?" Ellie frowned. "Being stuck here, being a girl." Nicole smirked to which Ellie mirrored. "You know you can always hide out in my room right. Got some pretty cool music, magazines even some makeup, facemasks." Nicole could see that Ellie was wearing a bit of blush and it did suddenly make Nicole feel old. When did this happen?

Nicole's attention was drawn away momentarily when she saw Unser and Gemma talking on the other side of the lot. She knew what Happy said but Nicole was angry her aunt right now. Nicole looked back at Ellie.

"Maybe we could do make overs later. Would you like that?" Ellie smiled and nodded. "Ok its a date. I have to go now, but my room is yours room ok."

Nicole dropped a kiss on top of Ellie head running her hand over her soft hair. As she started to walk away Ellie called out her causing her to stop. As she looked back over her shoulder Ellie was now on her feet. "Am I beautiful like my Mom."

The words broke her heart. Nicole remembered just what it was like being a girl of her age, the doubt you had in yourself, the insecurity of having lost both parents so young, especially your Mom.

Nicole walked back closing the gap. Nicole hooked her finger under Ellie's chin "You are more beautiful." She kissed her cheek and pulled away seeing a big smile on the girls face. "I will see you later sweetheart."

Nicole started to walk over to Gemma and Unser, Nicole was mad at Gemma but she remembered Happy's words. So she swallowed some of her anger.

"What are you two up to?"

"Just need to pop out, Wayne here is going to be my protection." Gemma spoke with a smile to Unser, one he returned. Nicole however didn't, something told her that Gemma was up to something.

"What are you up to Gemma?" The words had left her mouth before Nicole could even think of stopping them. Her words caused Gemma to look at her a questioning gaze.

"Off to see a friend."

"You dont have friends." Nicole quipped.

"You're right I don't." Gemma stepped closer to Nicole closing the gap between them. When she spoke her voice was lowered. "Going to see Wendy."

"Can I come?" Gemma frowned at Nicole surprised by her response.

"Didn't think you wanted to get involved in this."

"Well a girl can change her mind right." Nicole turned to Unser. "You driving? " He nodded. "Perfect I'll go get my bag."

Wendy handed Megan the patient file, they exchanged pleasantries and Wendy watched as she walked down the hall back towards the office when the smile disappeared from her face.

What the hell Wendy thought as she watched Gemma, Unser and Nicole looking around. Rushing back into her office Wendy closed the door as she frantically pulled open her bottom draw and grabbed the first scarf she could. Wendy now very aware that her and Tara's lie may catch up with them or rather her. There had been no attack, the bruise she had showed to Gemma and Nicole was some perfectly applied makeup. If they found out it was all a lie just for Wendy to get an in with Gemma she would probably end up dead.

As she tied the final knot in the scarf the door gently opened to reveal Gemma.

"Hey." Wendy spoke breathlessly

"Hey sweetheart, sorry to bug you at work."

"It's fine come in."

"I'll uh wait in the car." All 3 women looked to Unser but it was Gemma who spoke.

"Ok." She looked back at Wendy. "He's our bodyguard." Wendy frowned

"What's going on?"

"We're on lockdown." Wendy's attention went to Nicole. She took her in for the first time and there was a look in her eyes that Wendy knew all to well but Wendy's attention was drawn back to Gemma. "Irish."

"Shit." Wendy knew all to well how the Irish liked to send a message. They took her to try and prove a point to Jax.

"Yeah, they killed a couple of our guys."

"Who."

"Phil." Nicole spoke causing both women to look at her. Nicole tried to fight back the hit of tears as she took in the small office. She cleared her throat. "And V-Lin the prospect."

Wendy was worried but it wasn't just about the Irish right now. Something was wrong with Nicole.

"So, uh, what does this mean?" Wendy asked shifting her gaze from Nicole as she she started to shift uncomfortably

"Well it's not good and im thinking that's going to kick Tara's exit strategy into high gear. You hear anything?" Gemma moved closer to Wendy and Wendy could see the panic in her. But Wendy needed to keep her game plan.

"No, not since the other day.. What are you going to do Gemma about Tara?"

"Well you're going to bring me a copy of that will. Then I'll take it to Jax. Show him what she's up to"

"So he has no idea." Wendy asked causing Gemma to shake her head.

"He's neck deep in club shit. Tara's making this move behind his back. It's gonna rip him apart. But I can't say anything unless I have proof. I need that will."

"Ok." Gemma nodded and both Nicole and Wendy could see that Gemma was getting worked up.

Gemma reached inside of her purse. "Uh I was clearing out some drawers and I found copies of these." Gemma handed Wendy the pictures. "Abel's baby pictures." Nicole smirked to herself, Gemma was good. "Im guessing you don't have any."

"Thanks."

"We should be going." Gemma looked back at Nicole

"Actually can Wendy and I get a minute." Nicole felt Wedny's eyes on her but she was looking just at Gemma.

She could tell that Gemma didn't want to leave but as Nicole suddenly stood her ground as they eyes one another Nicole could tell she was curious.

"I'll be with Unser." Nicole gave a thank you smile before she left the room leaving Nicole and Wendy together.

As Nicole looked back at Wendy she was now looking at her, her hands clutching the photos Gemma had given her.

"We always liked you Wendy." She frowned. "Gemma always likes it when the family is right." Again the the silent questions came. "I loved Michael Darby but um, he just happened to be the son or Samcro's enemy. Gemma did everything she could to change my mind on him, so did Clay."

"What are you saying Nic? What's wrong?"

"Jay has always loved Tara. Always will. And she loves him, but this life, she doesn't fit in it."

"And I do?" Nicole smirked.

"You and Jax were good together but you let the drugs overtake you. You ruined it."

"I know."

Wendy didn't need Nicole, Gemma or even Tara to remind her of the mistakes she had made. Plus she wasn't the only one. And it was suddenly clear to Wendy.

"You want to use." Nicole was surprised by the words. They were direct but this was a direct conversation, and the reason Nicole had tagged along.

"How did you know?"

"I know that look."

"Im not going use. But yes I feel it." Nicole admitted. "I just need to say it out loud. I want a hit, I want to feel numb right now, be lost in that place but I'm not going to do it. I wont use."

"So why are you telling me?" Nicole laughed although there was nothing funny about this situation.

Nicole ran her hands through her wavy dark locks. "I tell any of them, Jay, Happy, Gemma that I'm even thinking of it . they will have me tied to a chair, Samcro rehab style."

"You should talk to them." Nicole shook her head.

"You heard Gemma. We're on lockdown. Jay is neck deep right now and so is Hap. He needs to focus on what he is doing, he can' be distracted right now."

Wendy closed the gap between them her hand coming to rest on Nicole's arm. "How far along are you?" Nicole looked surprised by the question. "You forget where I found you that day."

"I hadn't forgotten." How could Nicole forget that day. Th at day worse one of the worst days of her life. Happy almost killed her when he found out her betrayal. "4 months."

Wendy couldn't stop herself, her hand rested on her stomach and although Nicole was hiding it well in the baggy top the bump was clear to the touch. Nicole didn't push her hand away.

"Guessing no one else knows."

"Just Happy and Lyla." Wendy nodded. She didn't like Happy but Lyla she was a good girl it was good for Nicole to have her.

"You can't hide it much longer."

"I know."

Wendy nodded as she moved back to her desk. She grabbed a card and handed it to Nicole. "You can call me anytime if you want to talk"

Nicole looked down at the card. She liked Wendy always had but she couldn't take that. "Don't worry seeing you today reminded me just what I'd be risking. Im not going to be burning crank and injecting myself and almost kill my child."

Wendy felt the hit. She looked down at the pictures of Abel. Tears forming behind her eyes. She knew Nicole wasn't being mean. She was stating a fact, Wendy was a hard reality of what could happen if you gave into that itch while pregnant.

Nicole opened the door unsurprised to see Gemma pacing in front of it. Nicole didn't say anything as she passed by Gemma and started to walk down the hall. Gemma hot on her heals.

"What was that about." Nicole looked to Gemma.

"Just doing my bit to support the cause." Nicole lied but before Nicole could walk any further Gemma grabbed her arm stopping her going any further.

"And you are supporting of this. Supporting Jax."

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

"Well?" Nicole shook a head with a smile. But she didn't find anything funny.

"I don't want to see Jay hurt. I support him." Nicole spoke firmly. This would the first time they had been here, before her arrest Jax had found out about her wanting to take the boys and Jax agreed. So Nicole was going to take Jax's lead on this one when the time came. "Do you?" Gemma frowned. "I know you told Jay about Hap. I asked you not to and you've lit that match and you really think that's what he needs with everything, the club, this Tara shit." Nicole knew that she was breaking Happy's warning.

"But..."

"But nothing, Happy isn't hurting me. As you just said, he's neck deep in club shit. The Club doesn't need brothers having doubt in one another. That could get them both killed. You need to make this right with Jay."