R.E.M. - Laughing

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June 05th, 1778

Midday

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— ...Let's play soccer!

It's been a while since I went to the green fields to play with other kids. Dan and I and a bunch of babies, like the other side called us by. We'll show them who the babies are after we kick their butts and bean-sized balls. The boys from the country against the boys at Cardboard Town, in a soccer match like no other. It will be amazing!

Except... we are a bunch of losers. Dan pokes his nose even in front of others, I have no experience whatsoever when it comes to soccer, Dwayne is afraid of rolling down the hill, Gidd has a sore thumb, Din grew a beard but he looks nowhere mature, none of us do. And Claude, he pisses me off when it comes to pretending to be mature and dark. Claude is so pathetic he tries to act so cold and distant but in fact he's a wimp trying to prove himself to others, and Fratley said he did not want to play because he saw a bluebird. Yes, a bluebird. A swallow, he said, building a nest on a tree. He wants to take one of the swallow's wings to put on his hat.

We gave all our hopes into Jared, Dan's big brother, and practically all the grown ups we found. Some kids whose fathers were soldiers wore helmets and leather armor to shield their bodies and testicles against the impact of soccer balls. It is gonna hurt, I know... but I believe in my dad, that he can protect me even though he ain't here in flesh and bones.

The ball is made of pig bladders. We joked for a while about how that ball was full of pee, even though it was not. Kids are stupid at times. The chumps from Cardboard city look so wicked, like they will make lunch out of our deceased bodies. I am lucky Fratley ain't here, he would turn into a pretzel right away. They brought their older brother's too, and they called us crybabies with wet pants. They smell like piss, but who am I to tell? I may be a bastard, but I won't take the risk of insulting the fleas around the dogs.

Gary is our goalkeeper. We thought his hands were huge because he got bitten by bees. That Learie brat is cheering for us, at least. She said whoever wins will get a piece of her mother's pie. Dan will do anything for Learie... and a pie. But, we have a secret weapon... a girl! Well, I would not say girl. When I looked at the girl's furred legs and arms, I thought she was a bear whose parents adopted as a puppy.

— GWAB DA BALL, SHIT DICK! – Her name is Clara Bow, and she looks mean and cruel. Not really, because she agreed to help us out. Looking better, Clara looked more like a possum than a Burmecian.

The little soccer players all giggled and chatted at a moderate level, which was annoying by the way. Dan kicked the ball really hard like a comet to Mylan, who then offered a slow kick easily grabbed by Trent's ferocious feet.

— Damn you, cleyran bastard! – Someone yelled at Mylan. Poor Mylan, I don't blame his soccer performance because he came from a place where he was taught no violence. We are all a bunch of idiots and we are too stubborn to say we suck at something.

— Do something, Ole Hidjus! – Jared demeaned in a raspy voice to Clara.

— HNNG! – She replied with a dull roar. Ole Hidjus sounded like one of those fairytale monsters that lived under a bridge, or lured children to eat them in the dead of night. I must afraid, I'm a bit frightened by standing near Clara, but otherwise, Jared is a schmuck.

— Here it comes! I'll grab it, I'll grab it!... – Gary said, to which he hold the ball that came so fast his body got pulled back and he's now all covered in mud.

— Nice job! – Dan gave a high five to Gary. He hold the ball, so it counted as defense.

— GIMME THE BALL, PUDDINGMAN. IT AIN'T OVER YET. – Clara bow said, in an extremely unwise show of solidarity.

— Okay, hehehe... – Gary smothered his laughter through his claws. He was the only one who dared to do so in front of Clara. I may be wrong, but I swear I saw her smirking at Gary. It was her way of saying 'well done'.

Rain poured at us, dissolving the dirty of our skins into tiny, little particles. Gary looked cute as a 'pudding man' with only his doll eyes standing out. Clara kicked the ball to Dwayne, who left a weird moan and he got lost for a moment, then he passed the ball to Claude, who moved like a shadow. He tumbled over a rock, falling like chocobo poo.

— Give to me, give to me! I am free! – No one wanted to pass the ball to Mylan. Somehow I ended up taking the ball from Rufus, the fat guy who rolled around like an armadillo and then I decided to give Mylan a chance. He reminded me of Fratley, though not quite as much as the absorbed boy fascinated with everything.

— What have you done!? – Dan shouted at me. I trusted Mylan, that's what I did. And then Mylan did a somersault (don't ask me how) that almost made it to the goal.

We were impressed, and so did Mylan, a bit shy. I wonder if he can do it again, or if that was a thing he did by the moment. As for Gary, though... he defended one, two, three, four times in a row! He had talent with keeping guard, maybe he'll be a good soldier one day.

And then. — GOAAAAAAAAL! – I screamed with my hands up the skies. We made our first goal thanks to Clara Bow. My voice went all husky and I could not speak for a while outside thoughts. Dan hugged me, but it was too early to call it a victory.

1x0

Fergus, the goalkeeper from the other side, threw the ball at Rudy, who got it taken by Jared who passed the rushing like a meteor ball to Din, who ran fast like the bad wolf blowing a house down and the ball got taken by Icarus, who pulled Hugh and the little boy fell on the ground and woke up with a snail on its chin.

— SNAIL! – He yelled like a freak.

— Don't run away, Hugh! Or else you won't have pie. – Learie, Meg and her group of girls shouted. Gosh, I hate them.

— KEEP UP YER CONCENTRATION, DIMWIT! – Clara Bow grabbed Hugh with an arm. Legend says she could chop a tree in half with only hand. Instead, Clara carefully took the snail out of the boy's chin and set it free in a garden. She cared for the animals.

— Here it comes! – Gary said, following a knee-jerk reaction as Icarus kicked the ball and a tear fell from my eyes. – AAAAAAAAAAAA! My nose! My nose! My nose! It hurts, hurts, HURTS!

— Gary, no! – Dan and I rushed near Gary, who contorted in the ground like a worm being hit by sunlight. Everyone came to see Gary, even a few players from the other side took a peek.

— You sick bastard! – Dan yelled to Icarus, who stood in a somber pose saying nothing. Jared looked angry and clenched his fist, like he was about to pay with the same coin. It won't matter, it is just a game.

— H-hey guys, what did I miss? – Fratley came in. He was confused, and just as he approached Gary, his eyes popped up in a horrifying stare. – Oh my... Gary, are you okay?

— NO I AM NOT! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... – Gary cried and bleeded a lot. I don't understand, he was having fun, he did not deserve it.

— He needs medical care. – I said. I feel like its our fault for us kids to play alongside grown ups. They are not only big, but stronger as well.

— Oh shit, who's going to tell his mother about it? – Dwayne squeezed his hands on head, terrified.

— Poor thing. – Meg came in, followed by Learie. She brought a handkerchief and a chocolate cookie to make her brother feel happier.

— Thanks, sis. Everyone... – Gary felt glad, sneezing blood and red phlegm. He looked awful as a sort of messy bun. – But it still hurts... Sob. I won't be able to play anymore, guys.

— OF COURSE NOT YOU TWAT! YOU ARE IN NO SUCH CONDITWION! – Clara sounded so rispid and harsh, but she had a big heart inside all the fuzzy hair.

— Take a rest, pal. – I said, congratulating Gary with a shake of hands. – You did well today.

— But I'm not beaten, oh no! Aaaah... it hurts a little, you see?

— Gary, please... – Meg begged. Her brother did not want to look weak in front of anyone.

— Okay, sis. – It's funny how men of every age soften near women of any age.

— Who's gonna replace Gary? – Asked Dan. No one wanted to break their noses like Gary, and we were not sure of who fit his position.

— Oh! Hey, hey! What about me? – Fratley jumped with his little hand raised to us. Everyone looked at him with surprise.

— Fratley!? No, you can't! – I said. I was worried that Fratley would get hurt, that we all would look at him like a loser at the end, and I don't want that.

— What, you do not trust me?

— No. Uh... I mean, Gary is the best.

— And I am not? – That hit me hard. I was so worried about Fratley getting hurt that I haven't thought about giving him a chance, like I did with Mylan.

— Okay, you can be the goalkeeper. – I said, and then I sighed. Little I knew about Fratley's skills, but he might prove as useful if I let him to.

— Wait a moment. – Jared intervened. He was the tallest player. – Fratley does not necessarily needs to be at the goal on guard. He can just be a player doing nothing while he runs on the field.

— I want Fratley to know he's doing something! We're a team, goddamnit! – I yelled, pointing my finger at that ugly moron's face. – And he wants to be at the goal, right?

— Yes! – Fratley jumped once again, with determination and happiness.

— So be it. It's just a game, not war. – Claude spoke, being the dork he is. A wise dork, I have to say.

— My dad is at war. – Dwayne said, a bit sad.

— Mine too. – So did Dan. His older brother Jared said nothing, but we knew he too suffered.

— Yeah, mine as well. – Hugh sat on the ground, cross-legged.

— I want my dad back! – Mylan cried a fountain of tears. – I don't like the rain! It makes me all muddy and wet, but I don't like sand either! It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere, but it reminds me of home anyway.

— My dad is awesome. He is so strong he can carry a barrel of oil and fish with one hand! – Gidd said, feeling proud.

— I have no dad. He abandoned mom before I was born. – The lack of a father figure might explain Claude's attitude to others.

— I miss him a lot. – Fratley showed me a swallow's feather he wore on its green hat. His father's hat.

— We all do. – I patted the little Highwind's hat, who closed its eyes like a kitten in its sleep. – You sure you want to do that, Frattie? Being a goalkeeper is a huge responsibility. And if you end up getting hurt...

— I won't! Trust me.

— Okay, I believe you. – He looked at me in a way I could not just say not. And even if I did, I would be stuck in a loop. Then I talked to Daniel. – You know, I have this weird habit that I dislike Fratley and find him annoying at times, but I am the first to get protective whenever someone else dislikes him or when he's about to get harmed.

— So he's like a little sibling to you then?

— Yeah. Kinda. – I looked back at Fratley and I remembered the first time we met a few days ago. He looked silly like how he used to back then. I'm sure he'll do the best, anything is better than preaching for one's defeat.

— THE GAME IS NOT OVER YET. WE WILL SHOW 'EM HOW IT IS DWONE! – Clara Bow shrieked with a migraine-inducing alarm voice, like a clogged up rooster. To think she is just six years old, and that's scary.

Other than Jared, she was the best player, there was no room for doubt. Somehow Clara kicked the soccer ball so hard and did not hurted anyone with her inhuman strength. I wondered if she was a hybrid between Burmecian and whatever. Yeah, whatever, I have no idea what Clara is, but she is pretty good.

— You sick bastard! – Dan shouted at Icarus, who's indeed a bastard. – You hurted Gary, but do not think you can go away without being punished. And that will be through our victory against you!

— You and whose army? The diaper crusade? – Icarus laughed at us, with a straight face. It was no more a soccer match, I could tell.

— My name is Jared Brandford, and I have been labeled as a delinquent. – Dan's brother said, trying to get the ball out of Icarus' range. – It is not a thing I feel proud of, but I beat the crap out of people more often than I measured the size of my bollocks. But even a guy like me can spot evil when he sees it! Evil means to hurt people and not feel sorry for them.

— Me, evil? – Icarus had control over the ball and was ready to throw it at Fratley with all his strength, but not before making an unnecessary speech. – ''Evil'' is the loser. And the winner is justice. whoever survives to tell the tale. The loser is the evil one.

— The loser is the evil one, huh? – I said. I could not forgive Icaranus for what he did to Gary.

— THEN ALLOW US TO SHOW HOW EVIL YOU ARE! – Clara Bow wanted to be a dog; for the hackles to rise on her back so she could bark, bark and bark and go for the throat, wild and rabid and foaming in the warm moist morning, and I don't know what's going on anymore.

I propelled myself forward and ran between Icarus legs, unable to catch the precious ball for Bahamut's sake! It went right into Fratley's direction, who got distracted with a blue beetle he found. Before I could call out his name, he suddenly turned his arms and grabbed the flaming ball right away!

— Impossible! – Said Icarus, with a dumbfounded grimace.

— T-T-The b-ball... I... I-I g-g-g-grab-b-bed the ba-ba-ball... – Fratley was shaken, his entire body trembling by holding that very ball made of pig entrails. He looked at us and had no reaction for a minute.

— Sheer luck. – Icarus said tentatively, before we came to a conclusion. That was too much of sheer luck indeed, but there was something else in Fratley's eyes that caught my attention...

— I grabbed the ball. I grabbed the ball! Look! – He felt proud of what he did and wanted to show it to everyone. Now Fratley had to throw the ball. The tall kids surrounded him like a barrier, preventing us from doing the first kick.

We all believed in Fratley, that he could do it. Whether be by luck of not, he could do it, Just do it! We yelled in silence. And just then, Fratley hold the ball and threw it so high like a Dragoon Knight taking a leap at cloudy skies. Clara's beastly eyes were met with a gunpowder-explosive spark right before she gave the motherest of all kicks to the incoming target, almost ripping the meaty ball apart. Everything happened so quickly, like a wishing star disappearing before we make a wish, fading away in the horizon.

In other words... – GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLL!

2x0

— Yay! We did it! – We all chanted in a screeching dissonance, like nails on a chalkboard but louder. Dan knew he would have Learie's company... and the pie of course.

— Now say you're sorry for Gary! – I pointed at Icarus, demanding an answer. I was not the only kid who surrounded him.

— Who's the diaper crusade now? – Dan kicked Icarus' crotch so hard that I swear I saw him urinate on spot.

— Ouch! Okay, okay! For crying out loud... I'm sorry! – Icarus kneeled on grass, shrinking itself in agony like a tiny larvae. I'd feel pity if it was someone else.

— That was unnecessary, Dan. – Jared said to Dan, right when rain began to fall with such intensity that everyone decided to go home. – Now you'll get in trouble for that. But nice job, brother. Icarus deserved it, what an ass.

— See you later, Learie! – Dan waved to his unrequited love crush. Eugh. – I'll see if I can eat that apple pie, if I do not get spanked!

— Bye, Dan! – And so I followed Learie and her group of girls (against my will) alongside Fratley and Clara Bow. I wanted to know how Gary was doing. – Hope your nose gets better.

— Thanks. – Gary's scarf was soaked with blood, but it was nowhere as frightening as hearing him moaning and grieving at the field.

— Promise me you will never play with grown ups unless you grow up a bit, brother. – Meg was a prick, but she cared a lot for her brother's safety.

— I promise.

— YOU BETTWER KEEP YOUR PROWMISE, NUMBSKULL! – Clara also cared for Gary, in her own special way.

— Nice feather you got there. – Learie pointed out Fratley's hat, and his steely blue blue feather.

— It's a swallow's feather! – Fratley smiled, and then he went encyclopedia mode and talked about everything he knew about swallows to no one's concern, but we kept hearing anyway.

Blah blah blah blah blah... Swallows are blue birds... blah blah blah blah blah... extremely agile in flight and spend most of their time on the wing... blah blah blah blah blah... They are widespread in the North Hemisphere, migrating south in winter... blah blah blah... Swallows always drink on the wing, flying low to sip the water... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... To see the first swallow of the year is regarded as a good omen... blah blah blah...

At the middle of Fratley's verbose, Clara Bow vanished into the woods. I wonder if we'll see each other again. Learie Profumo and her militia went home to help her mother out with cooking and sewing. She had sunflower seeds in the pockets, and wondered if a sunflower could grow in Burmecia. I would say no, but it ain't polite for a gentleman to take away someone else's hopes and dreams.

Fratley said something about his mom making pancakes, and we all agreed to join in.