Another day that may only be a dream, A KuramaXOC
By:~Pinkbun17~
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, if I did; there'd be more episodes and romance. Heh.
Edited: 2/10/21
YusukexKeiko, KuwabaraxYukina pairings supported! ^^
Please Review, they keep this story ALIIIVE! Flames are welcomed. Construction criticism is always appreciated!
Keep this in mind readers!
Story Format as always:
****READERS PLEASE READ MEH!****
Youko's Thoughts: ^This is gonna hurt you.^
Kurama speaking to Youko in his head/his own thoughts: *This is gonna hurt you, more than it hurts me.*
Inner thoughts of other characters: 'And I don't wanna hurt.'
Hiei's Inner thoughts/speech when he is talking to someone in their head: ~That's why I'm gonna hurt you.~
Random thought examples provided by the song "This is gonna hurt" by Hoobastank. :)
Sinhalese is a REAL language and comes from Sri Lanka!
Anything said in Sinhalese: "Is now really the time for singing songs?"
A Few Inventions from the Spirit Lab! (Really my creations…-cue evil laugh-)
Spirit Bands: Comes in various colors, it appears as a typical rubber/silicon wrist band, however, it contains excess spirit energy in case of emergencies. The phrase 'Spirited' is on all bands. The only side effect is the material may be a possible minor skin irritant.
Portal Sealing Solution: A sticky purple substance that is used to close portals to different locations. Requires spirit energy and can only be applied by 'grim reapers' because of their distinct auras.
Detection Plant: Yet another device that Kurama has created, basically a hybrid of your typical human Ficus and demon plant. This plant upholds the ability to detect negative demon or spirit energy. Is also useful as a pet or guard "dog" and can communicate with whom it chooses.
To keep in mind (Non-spirit lab-related):
The Anrokku-Isei of pain [ An-roku-Is-hi] (Unlock the power of pain): An evil, rare, powerful, tiny red seed. Used by the demon enemy Aiden against Aisha. The seed forces any dormant abilities to awaken but also awakens the ugliest of irrational emotions. Pain, fear, hate, and anger only allow its host's mental destruction to grow at a faster rate. Side effects vary species to species however include weakness, dizziness, headaches, confusion, vomiting, internal bleeding, burns, consistent bleeding, permanent psychological damage, and death.
Chapter 33: Battling Thoughts & Vices
Trigger Warning: Potential Self harm
⤹⋆⸙͎۪۫｡˚۰˚ ˚⁀➷｡(Day 4) 10:40 pm
Aisha's POV:
"I had faith you were better than this, but maybe I was wrong. You remember when that bastard Aiden kidnapped me? He not only tormented me but attempted to-" I choke on my words but continue. "He stole my first kiss-and you-you stole the second…that was…that should have been my choice!"
There. I finally said it. When it comes to standing up for myself and talking about my pain and experiences, I struggle to form any sort of proper thought, but he needs to know what he's added to.
"Aisha, I-" Kurama starts, but he stops mid-sentence when I lift my hand up.
SMACK! He allows me to slap him.
"I'm already tired of hating you, but what choice have you left me, Kurama?!"
My will power to keep eye contact falters and I make my retreat out of the room. I try my best to stifle my anger, but it only makes my chest physically hurt.
'I don't want to hate you, I really don't…'
ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ .⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹
I slam the white wooden door to the second bedroom and seat myself on the light blue sheeted bed, glaring hard at the beige floor. As the last few traces of rage leaves me, my urge to cry goes with it.
A trickling cold begins to consume me, a lack of feeling. I've noticed when this creeps in, it is like being sucked into a dark abyss. The last time this happened was 5 days ago and made me so desperate to end myself (well one of the reasons). My hands are trembling, itching to grasp onto something sharp.
'No! I can't...'
I attempt to focus elsewhere, pulling my phone out of my pocket and play a random song. The song is by a smaller artist called Unlike Pluto, and ironically the song is called "Where is my mind?"
Slightly annoyed, I toss my phone onto the bed and step towards the window. The night sky is shrouded by purpleish clouds, and a tiny bit of moonlight shines through them. On the windowsill is a plant very similar looking to Zerbo.
'Huh, its leaves are darker than Zerbo's…is it sleeping?' I take a few deep breaths in, but the numbness continues to crawl all over my mind.
I guess it's a terrible coping mechanism for when I get depressed, my emotions shut off and I harm myself. I focus on each fiber of pain and do it to punish a coward like myself. I wouldn't be in this situation if I was a better person. Kurama wouldn't have to be angry with an asshole like me, and he wouldn't have reason to hurt me.
My parents wouldn't rage at each other, and my mother wouldn't hurt our family anymore. My other friends wouldn't betray me if I was what they wanted me to be. I wouldn't be hurt by others if I didn't do something to deserve it. I should harm myse-
"NO!" I scream out loud, suddenly grasping my journal. I had walked over to my pink star duffle bag in my depressive haze and yanked it out. In this damned journal is one of my razor blades.
Just then, the white door swings open quickly, and in enters the redhead.
｡･:*:･ﾟ,｡･:*:･ﾟ10:55 pm
Kurama's POV:
"I understand you wanted to be left alone, and seeing me right now isn't ideal... but I grew concerned when I heard you screaming...are you alright?"
Aisha's breathing is slightly ragged, and her coffee-colored eyes reflect shock.
"Don't you have great timing." She smiles grimly. She opens a blue bounded book and pulls out a silver razor blade. "Take this fucking thing away from me. The last thing I should do is fall into old habits and feed into that damned seed. I don't ...want to do this anymore." Her voice cracks, and she begins to clutch herself.
I had my suspicions beforehand about her obvious self-harming, but I don't feel it will do any good to pry. This is a delicate topic, and the last thing I wish to do is provoke further harm on her. Although minor, this appear to be progress, considering she's asking me to take the razor…In due time, she'll open up to who she can deem trustworthy, even if that's not me.
I place the blade into my back pocket to dispose of later. The urge to hug her crops up, but instead, I take her hand in mine and hold it. In doing so, I give her a pink Spirit band. Letting go, I take a few steps back, my presence now is most likely adding gasoline to an unkempt fire.
"What is this for?" She seems to have collected herself, but her tone sounds slightly hostile.
"It's in case of an emergency, a small amount of my spirit energy has been infused into it. I hope it will be of good use to you." I make sure to keep the bedroom door wide open, so she doesn't feel trapped within the room.
"Thanks. It's cute, guess we match now." She begins to place the rubber band on, and a minuscule smile graces her features, but her eyes do not reflect the same. "So, why aren't you asking anything like you normally do?"
"Considering I've treated your wounds multiple times…of course I had my suspicions, but it was not my place to pry. I feel it'd be best if you choose when and who you confide in. There are some things that should not be forced out, at least not without gentle pacing and trust. Mental wounds may be unseen to others, but that does not mean they don't exist. If at all, they take extensive periods to close. I may not be one you're comfortable to open up to, but I am here for you, Aisha."
"Huh." She stares at me for a moment, her expression softening. The only sounds that fill the room is quiet breathing and her phone playing music. I glance at her phone noting the song's title is "Love me or Leave me" by an artist called Day6, and the time is 11:02 pm.
"I realize it's late and you must be exhausted, but may we talk in the living room?" I ask. "I can make you some tea if you'd like."
Her face lights up a little from the mention of tea. "That's fine." She then proceeds to pause her music and follow me into the hallway.
»»——««
A few moments later, the two of us are sipping pineapple black tea. I motion to her to take a seat next to me on the couch, but she refutes, preferring to stand by a white wooden chair in the corner of the living room.
*Maybe it'd be best to avoid this area of the condo…*
"Would you rather sit in at the dining table?"
Wordlessly, she strolls through the living room and seats herself at the dining table.
*Guess that answers my question. *
I take a seat across from her, and she continues to sip her tea and before I can say anything, she utters;
"You always seem to have good timing. If you hadn't barged in when you did…I would have…anyway thank you." She smiles slightly, and her eyes express gratitude.
"You have no reason to thank me, for I didn't do anything but walk into the room. Perhaps in due time, if you'd like we could look into treatment plans…" I pause for a moment. "I want to apologize to you for my actions earlier, I fear I have only brought upon further suffering, considering you felt compelled to hurt yourself. Aisha, please…allow me to compensate-"
She sharply glares at me, her coffee-colored eyes displaying detestation, confusion, however her face exhibits embarrassment.
"Haven't you done more than enough?" Aisha's voice void of warmth once again.
^I sense a chill. ^ The fox comments heedlessly. ^I may have a bit of frostbite from that glare alone. ^
*I don't have time to quarrel uselessly with you fox. Shut up. * I respond mentally, latching on to the last of my sanity.
^I am more than happy to assist in your apology. ^
*You have done enough damage. *
We have done enough damage, Shuichi. Accusing me alone is not going to solve a thing; after all it's not as if our actions are utterly independent. Quit attempting to avoid the problem at hand. ^
"You wanna make it up to me red-head, then take me back home." In her cold tone, a hint of anger seeps through.
I sigh, and then state; "If I do take you home, who's to say those demons won't attack you again? Do you also wish to put your family and animals in danger? You are better off here; I did leave one of my Detection Plants at your home just in case your family is targeted."
Realization flickers momentarily in her eyes, but she only allows a bitter smile to surface.
A red aura begins to surround her again. Once again, the Anrokku-Isei, is fueling her rage.
"Aisha, you need to keep your wits about you, the seed-" She does not heed a word I say.
"I really should kill you." Aisha whispers in an angry hiss.
"Go ahead and try, but honestly Aisha it won't work out in your favor." I'm not sure what compels me to say this to her, but somewhere inside of myself I cannot stand her attitude, although I did provoke this.
She growls, and huffs out, "Then I should try anyway, you goddamn jerk!"
Before I can say any more, she runs off and reenters the guest bedroom, slamming the door harshly.
*I shouldn't have said that…I've only made this more difficult…*
^Excellent work, Shuichi now she will resent us even more. ^ The irritating fox states in sarcasm.
*I didn't ask nor require your input, Fox. Now, my issue is gaining her trust…if that is even mendable at this point. *
Aisha's POV:
"Urg! That-that…asshole!" I shout in anger. "Though, did he have to say it like that…?" As horrible as demons are, my mother is not something to forget either. Hopefully, she'll leave my siblings alone…
✲꘏꘏꘏꘏꘏꘏꘏
A few minutes pass and listening to a few songs has calmed my rattled idiotic brain. The song "What I've Done" By Linkin Park really has me reflecting.
'Damn, I didn't have to lash out at him like that. I'm so stupid! Plus, he was at least trying to apologize…'
Soon enough, now that my depressing thoughts are on the back burner in my head, what happened a few hours ago with Kurama keeps playing over and over again in my mind, and honestly I think I'm one of the few 'fangirls' that desires to murder Kurama right now. And possibly the only one still alive that has slapped him, bit him, and insulted him…multiple times. Jeez, I'm seriously a piece of shit.
'I'm kinda surprised he let me do that…considering what he's capable of.'
Quickly on my phone I search up Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho.
Kurama may not be the strongest member of the Yu Yu Crew, but he's indeed the most dangerous. I remember reading a blog awhile back where a Japanese fan had asked Mr. Togashi "What would happen if Kurama used other plants as weapons?" The answer Mr. Togashi said really scares me now…
"'He likes to chop, and he often uses long leaves like swords and petals like razors. It seems that plants from the Human World are not very suitable for weapons, but he says that sunflowers can be used like shotguns and cacti like bombs. Between ourselves but: "If you are interested, cedar pollen can be used to kill almost everyone in Japan in a day." I just pray that he won't be capricious. Well, this guy is scary! Perhaps, Kurama might be the strongest...'"
Apparently Kurama states right after that he wouldn't do that.
[Source: Q&A, VJump - October 1993 issue]
I lay myself out on the light blue sheeted bed, while tossing my shoes into the corner of the room.
'I'm a serious moron. One who's lucky to be alive. Even if I don't feel like I am.'
"Why does all this god-awful shit happen all at once?" I question myself. I mean my only worry less than a week ago, was how I should kill myself.
Knowing what I know now, that isn't really an option now. If I kill myself (no matter what kind of suffering I'm in) I will be the 'cause of maybe millions of deaths (If I really do have this soul fragment bullshit).
'Look at me, I've been falling apart emotionally, physically, mentally, I have crazy wounds, and on top of that demons, ghosts, and Yu Yu Hakusho are all freaking real! I'm so gonna end up in a looney bin strapped down in solitary confinement...'
If there is a god, then he or she enjoys being sadistic and creating disgusting irony.
As tired as I am, I don't think I can rest…Ha! Sleep? I shouldn't be thinking about such stupid things considering all the shit that has happened today.
My eyes may be shut but my brain is in shock, all logic has already been burned out. Rather than staring at the celling, and rot I decide to fish through my magenta-colored star print duffle bag for Harry Potter and headphones.
'The Book Thief is way too depressing to read now…'
Randomly blaring in my red Hello Kitty headphones through the wands and wizards, "The Innocent Letter" by My American Heart plays.
"Did Kurama really kiss me? And why did he…? I must have imagined it through all the insanity."
"But he did protect me, hell he's saved me multiple times…Only 'cause of his mission. Ah! I didn't ask for his stupid help! Hmp!" I reason to myself; I can't stand the idea of needing someone else's assistance.
"I have always done things by myself…and need to keep doing it." At random my mouth begins to sing a sudden tune, for the sake of keeping my mind occupied with less irritating thoughts.
"Spiderman, Spiderman, Does whatever a spider can. Spins a web, any size, Catches thieves just like flies…Look Out! Here… comes the… Spiderman." I mutter feeling utterly drunk.
My thought process begins to blur and sleep finally cloaks over me…or so I hope.
To be continued…
My notes:
Well, this chapter was a little bit of a struggle, for I erased a lot of what I wrote beforehand. I hope you found this compelling, and it makes sense. Please let me know what you think! This chapter is 8 pages on 12 inch font.