Chapter 11
When the hazy image of camp appeared on the horizon, Twilight reverted back to his natural two-legged state. By that time, Green had managed to separate himself from the faded pinks, oranges, and blues of the sky enough to confirm he could walk when Twilight asked. Of course, that wasn't to say he was all there.
If anything, he was a low-lying cloud, a mist ghosting over grassy plains. Still, it meant he was closer the ground, and thus closer to himself. He could watch the body put one foot in front of the other and move in tandem with it. If he concentrated enough, he could almost feel the soft thud of each footfall.
His ability to walk without toppling over and making a fool of himself was fortunate. Twilight having to carry him into camp would have only worried everyone, and judging by the chaos that greeted them, everyone was worried enough.
"There you are!"
"You found him!"
"Where did you go?!"
"Are you okay?"
"What happened?"
The questions and voices swirled around his head until he could barely comprehend the inquiries, much less recognize who had uttered them. All he knew was that they were directed at him, and he was expected to answer.
But he didn't know how.
Just as he felt his grasp on the body slipping like water through fingers, Time marched over, his steely blue eye fixed on Green. "Are you injured?"
His head wobbled precariously on his neck in a motion that could loosely be interpreted as a negative.
That must not have been good enough because Time's eye flicked to Twilight.
"He's not hurt as far as I can tell," Twilight reported, guiding Green to the blazing fire—there was something wrong with it. Something more than lacking heat but he couldn't put his finger on it—and gently pressing him down into a seat. Twi rubbed Green's numb, pelt-covered shoulders. "Just cold."
Green nearly opened his mouth to refute. He wasn't cold. He wasn't hot. He wasn't anything, but something stilled his tongue.
"Just cold? JUST COLD?!" Legend roared, shaking the ground with the force of his fury as he approached. "You don't get to be 'just cold' after what you put us through!"
"Legend, back off," Twilight growled, blocking the veteran's advance. "He's confused."
"I don't care! He owes us an explanation."
"And it will come," Time assured from Green's other side. "Be patient."
"I was patient for the two freaking hours it took for Twi's little search and rescue mission! I'm not waiting anymore." He barreled past Twilight and shoved his face in Green's. Their close proximity didn't encourage Legend to lower his voice in the slightest. "Why did you leave camp undefended?"
Green had just enough time to notice the soiled white fabric plastered to the veteran's forehead before the ranch hand yanked Legend back by the scruff of his tunic. Twilight yelled something, but Green didn't bother puzzling out the words. He was still trying to process what he'd just seen.
Bandages. The veteran's head was wrapped in bandages. Legend was injured. But that didn't make any sense! They hadn't been in any fights recently. He would remember. Besides, even if he had somehow had missed a fight, he'd glanced over them all last night before beginning watch. No one had been hurt, so how…?
The veteran's words registered, then. Why did you leave camp undefended?
The truth crashed into him like a charging Moblin.
No.
He wouldn't. He wouldn't leave camp.
He didn't.
But that was definitely a blood-crusted bandage on Legend's head, and he was yelling at him, and he wouldn't be doing that unless…
Unless…
He did.
Green knew what was wrong with the fire now. It was morning and Wild's cooking pot was absent. It was morning and Hyrule was still bundled in his bedroll even though he was usually one of the first ones awake. It was morning and Wind wasn't bouncing around camp with restless energy.
They were all injured. A swift sweep around camp confirmed it. He couldn't tell how bad off they were, but he could see what was probably a splint on Wild's wrist and Wind bent over his ribs like they ached and Hyrule laying still—too still—and oh great golden goddesses what had he done?
Needles pricked his eyes, and he pulled at his hair, hardly registering the pain or the sharp voice that told him to "Stop! Tell me what's going on". But he couldn't stop, and he couldn't say what was going on because hE DIdN't kNow—!
There was an uncomfortable twisting in his gut and a bow-string tight tension in his body, and a burning behind his eyes that threatened to bubble over into tears, and yelling.
Lots of yelling.
Blue knew yelling. He was good at yelling and though he had absolutely no clue what was going on, he did know Green was incredibly upset and Legend was nearby. Which meant Legend must have said something to upset Green. Even if he hadn't, his voice was grating on Blue's nerves. Legend was usually the culprit for him being pulled to the front anyway.
Deciding that was as good a place to start as any, Blue shot to his feet and rounded on the veteran, which was slightly difficult with Twilight in the way, but the ranch hand jumped aside pretty quickly when Blue so gracefully shouted, "SHUT UP, LEGEND!" at the top of his lungs.
His outburst silenced the camp for a grand total of one second, which was impressive considering it was Legend he was arguing with.
"I'm not shutting up until you give me an explanation!" Legend shouted back, throwing his hands in the air and looking like he wished they were curled into fists and pummeling Blue's face instead.
He balled his own hands into fists. Just in case. "For what?!"
"For leaving in the middle of your watch shift! We thought you'd been dragged off by a monster, you idiot!"
"I was."
"I wasn't dragged off by a monster!" The mere thought was ridiculous, so why was his stomach tying itself into knots? "I didn't even leave camp!"
"Then who did?" Legend demanded.
"I don't-!" No. He did know. Green made sure he knew by the flash of fear that closed his throat. By the memory of bloody eyes, of black as cold and bottomless as the ocean. Son of a—!
Blue swallowed the lump in his throat. Come on, Green, get it together. "I don't know. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you! It's none of your business!"
"I beg to differ!" Legend retorted hotly, gesturing to the bandage on his head which Blue had overlooked until now. Curse that Shadow! He'd really done a number, hadn't he?
A glance around camp assured Blue that he'd done more than a number. Horror seized him by the throat before he could stop it, and Green sent them backpedaling. "Look, I-I'm sorry." Gods, they sounded pathetic.
Don't apologize we didn't do anything we did I did no Shadow did!
"It was an accident," Vio offered aloud. He probably meant it to sound soft and placating but between Blue's anger and Green's anxiety it came out trembling and not at all convincing.
Legend seemed to agree. "How do you 'accidentally' walk out of camp without any of your stuff?!"
They flinched, and that was the last straw.
Blue surged forward, only vaguely aware of what he was doing, and shoved the veteran as hard as he could. The sight of Legend on his backside did nothing to quell his rage. "Shut up! Just shut up and LEAVE US ALONE!"
Stunned, Legend stared at him for a full two seconds before the rage rushed in to redden his face. "Don't push me!"
"Don't yell at us for no reason!"
Legend spluttered. "No reason? There's plenty reason! You—!"
"ENOUGH!" Time's roar shook the earth. Or maybe that was just a combination of everyone's raw emotions making the body tremble.
"It's not," Legend objected, on his feet now. Blue had half a mind to knock him flat on his butt again. Don't! "He—!"
"I am well aware of what happened, Veteran," Time returned, tone frigid as frost. Blue shivered and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. "And yelling isn't going to solve anything. Evidently, it's doing more harm than good, so I advise you to take a step back." His eye flicked between Blue and Legend. "Both of you."
Neither one of them moved, but Time didn't seem to mind. He forged ahead, gaze trained on Blue. "If you can't or won't explain, that's fine. Accidents happen, and I have no doubt this was one. However, it was a dangerous one, and I can't risk a repeat."
"It won't!" he insisted. He'd kill Shadow before it happened again.
Time held up a hand. "In any case, I think it's best if you refrain from taking watches for the time being."
"What?!" Blue cried. "Old Man—" Vio cut him off. "That's ludicrous! We're more than capable of taking watch."
Time spread his hands in a helpless gesture. "I'd like to agree but last night's events proved otherwise. This is for your safety as well as everyone else's."
"It won't happen again, you have my word," Vio pledged. He'd talk to Shadow again. Make him understand that he was a part of something bigger than himself and had to stay wherever he found himself when he fronted.
"You can't promise that," one of his brothers reminded him, and just like that his hold on the body shattered.
"No, no, no, Time." Everything was falling apart, and Green frantically scrambled to pick up the pieces. "Please, don't take it away. We can do it. We've done it so many times before and never had a problem."
"Then what was different about last night?"
The answer was simple: Shadow. But Green couldn't utter it. "I…I don't—"
Blue pushed Green aside. He was useless. "Nothing! You can't really be punishing us for one mistake. It wasn't even our fault!"
"You were the only one on watch. It couldn't be anyone else's fault," Legend argued.
"Green was on watch!" Blue objected, rounding on the pink-haired hero.
He should have expected Legend's rebuttal. "Then it's his fault."
"No, it isn't!" It isn't. Green wilted despite Blue's frantic attempt at reassurance.
Vio tried next. Green, really, it's not your fault. If anything, it's mine for not convincing Shadow of reality fast enough.
Green said nothing. He remained a sad seed curled in on itself, dry and rejecting every drop of water.
He had to fix this. "Time, you can't ban us from watch," Blue began. Vio snatched the rest from him. "It's not fair. Not only to us but to everyone else! They'll have to pick up our slack, and then we'll always be well-rested and no one else will be."
Time sighed, and Vio knew he'd won. "You can take watch," Yes! Good going Vi! "As long as someone else takes the shift with you."
"What?! That's stupid!" Blue exclaimed in outrage. I take it back, Vio, you're an idiot. So are you, stop yelling! We'll lose this privilege too if you keep it up. But it is stupid! "We don't need a babysitter!"
"It's not babysitting," Time said.
"Yeah, we all take double shifts sometimes. This isn't any different," Twilight added. He probably thought he was helping. He wasn't.
"It is different because you don't trust us!" Blue roared.
"No offense, but can you blame us?" Warrior spoke up, nodding to the incapacitated members of their party.
"Saying no offense doesn't make it less offensive," Vio snapped, surprising himself with the ferocity in his tone.
Warrior raised his hands in the universal image of goodwill. "Sorry. But no one can erase what happened last night."
"No, but I can argue it!" Blue retorted. "I refuse to be watched like a child."
Legend shrugged, unsympathetic. "Then don't take watch."
"And let you win? No way!" He turned to Time. "We're going to keep taking watch, and we're going to take it alone. I don't care what you say. You're not the boss of us."
Technically, he is the leader unofficially! And Blue refused to listen to an unofficial official.
"You're right. I'm not. I can't make you do anything," Time conceded. Blue eyed him warily, but the eldest hero appeared sincere.
"Wait! You're just going to let them take watch?" Legend cried, incredulous.
"I have to agree with the Vet on this one, Old Man," Warrior said. "That doesn't seem wise."
Time shrugged. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do to stop them."
"Uhh knock 'em out?" Legend hazarded. It was probably a joke, but Blue wasn't in the mood to laugh.
He growled, raising a fist. "I'll knock you out!"
"Please none of that!" Sky begged, stepping between the two of them. Vio wondered what took the Skyloftian so long to interfere. Maybe he'd been afraid of getting punched—not that he looked terribly scared of being socked in the face now. Vio did his best to loosen their fingers and drop their hand to a nonthreatening position. Blue didn't make it easy.
"Why don't we talk about this later? When we're all calmer?" Sky suggested.
"There's nothing to talk about," Blue declared, swiveling on his heel and stomping back to the fire. All the anger hadn't flushed him so it was doubtful the fire would, but it was worth a shot. He couldn't properly retreat inside with the body this cold, and Shadow needed to be dealt with sooner rather than later.
It's not his fault, Vio implored from the recesses of his mind. Blue did his best to tune him out. Vio didn't know what he was talking about. He was too blinded by his friendship with Shadow to see how dangerous he was. People had gotten hurt because he'd wandered off during their shift.
I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose.
Blue scoffed at that. Of course he did!
He's scared, just like you.
Scowling, he shoved his numb fingers as close to the fire as they'd go without touching the flames. He was not scared.
Then why are our hands shaking?
Din darn it they were! He hastily pulled them back and tucked them under his arms. He wasn't scared. No. He was just mad. Mad at Shadow for getting them into this mess. Mad at Vio for defending him. What else am I supposed to do? Shut up! Mad at Legend for yelling at them and at Time for trying to revoke their watch shifts. He'll probably set up a secret watch from now on to keep an eye on us. The thought only made him madder. Not the intention. Too late! I'm mad mad mad! Crazy mad? a sickly-green-tinged voice whimpered. He dropped his head into his knees. Maybe.
A wail, a scream, a sob. That last one was audible in a way the others weren't. His face was wet. Stop crying! Red tried. He really tried to do as Blue said, scrunching his eyes as tight as he could, but the tears escaped anyway. One after the other after the other, and they wouldn't stop.
But he had to make them stop or else Blue would yell at him more and there was already so much yelling. It banged in his head over and over again like a hammer beating molten metal into shape. The pain only added to the tears, and Red choked on another sob.
Dimly, he became aware of a gentle pressure on his back and a soft sound beyond the ringing in his ears.
"Shh shh, it's okay," a faraway voice soothed.
"No, it's not!" he wailed, desperately scrubbing his eyes to rid them of tears. The failure only made him cry harder. "E-eh-everyone's mad at m-me-e."
"No one's mad at you," the same voice cooed, a little clearer this time.
"Yeah huh!" he argued because arguing seemed to be the only thing he was capable of besides crying. Not that he could do it well because he was, well…crying.
"No, no." Sky said. He could just make out the Chosen Hero's blurry features as he tilted his head to catch Red's eye. "I promise no one is mad at you. I'm not mad at you."
"Neither am I," Twi piped up from his left. He brushed hair that had plastered itself to Red's cheek out of his face. "Or any of the rest of us."
A scoff drew his attention to a blur of red and blue. "Speak for yourself."
"Legend." Twi growled a warning for some reason Red didn't understand. "Tell him you're not mad."
"…I'm not mad."
Beside him, Sky released a relieved breath.
"I'm furious." Legend's declaration punched all the remaining air from Red's lungs. Legend was angry with him? Why? What did he do wrong? He didn't have the breath to ask any of these questions and without answers the tears fell faster. Which made Blue scream louder. Which made Vio raise his voice. Which meant Green went unheard and that silence was somehow worse. It was so much worse, so much louder, than the others' screaming.
Sky tugged him into a crushing side hug while Twi snarled Legend's name like he hated him. But Twi couldn't hate Legend! They were all brothers, and they were supposed to love each other. Hate had no home here, but Twi's tone begged to differ. So did Legend's when he yelled back.
They were fighting. They were fighting, and it was his fault. Red didn't know how or why, just that it was, and he couldn't fix it because his breath came too short and there were too many bubbles in his throat and the tears just wouldn't disappear no matter how much he scraped and scrubbed at his eyes.
"Shut up!" the words ripped from his throat, choked and pleading and not at all how Blue intended them. Guilt for yelling, however pathetically, made Red duck his head farther into Sky's side. He hadn't mean to yell.
"Sorry," he whimpered. Maybe they would forgive him and stop being mad if he apologized. Anyway his Blue's? their? outburst had unclogged his throat just enough to speak. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize. It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong," Sky reassured him.
But that couldn't be true because if he did nothing wrong then Blue's anger wouldn't be swirling in his chest like a whirlpool, Vio's frustration wouldn't be banging their head against an imaginary wall, and Green's silence wouldn't be tying his stomach in knots tight enough to squish his insides.
"I'm sorry," he cried, more for his brothers inside than those outside. "I was tr-trying to h-help, but I messed it up, and now everyone ha-hates each other."
"No one hates each other," Sky said.
"What did you do?" Legend demanded, shrugging off Warrior's hands and striding over. "What did you mess up?"
His heart leapt into his throat. "Nothing! I don't—I-I didn't…I just, I just w-wanted everyone to get along and now Blue is mad and Vio is mad and Green is mad and—" A sob cut him off.
"Red, what. Did. You. Do?" Legend repeated.
"Wait," Warrior interjected, pulling Legend back to put himself in Red's line of sight. "Did you leave camp?"
Swiping furiously at his eyes, Red shook his head. "N-n-no."
"Do you know that one of you left camp?" Sky asked gently as he rubbed soothing circles on his back.
"I don't know what's going on!" he cried. "I just…just know everyone's m-mad."
"See? I told you, you're yelling at the wrong person," Warrior said, whirling around to glare at Legend.
The veteran threw his hands in the air. "I don't care! One of them did it and one of them better explain!"
"He can't explain if he doesn't know what happened either!" Twilight retorted, throwing out a hand in Red's direction.
"They share memories!" Legend yelled back.
"No, they don't! Don't you pay attention?"
"They can communicate, though," Warrior recalled, chin in hand. "Can't one of them tell Red what happened so he can tell us?"
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, I'm serious, country boy!"
"He—"
A pressure atop his head drew Red's teary-eyed gaze to meet Time's. "Let's take a walk, Little One."
To Red's horror, Blue slapped away Time's hand. "Why? So you can yell at us?"
"No. You're not in trouble."
He narrowed his eyes, but the glare probably didn't look as threatening as it should have with tears still dripping down his cheeks. Everyone else was yelling at them. Why wouldn't Time?
Time seemed to sense his distrust. "My intention isn't to scold you. I'm simply trying to get you away from all this noise for a while. It can't be doing your head any good."
Well, Time was correct in that regard. His head was killing him.
He sniffed, a gross, snotty sound. "Promise you won't yell?"
"I promise. We don't even have to talk if you don't want to." Time held out his hand, palm up. "So? What do you say?"
He glanced at the others. They were still screaming throwing frantic gestures this way and that while their faces contorted into a multitude of ugly expressions. Wind and Wild had added their own voices to the mix. His head throbbed.
Go let's go I don't want to be here anymore.
Against Blue's better judgement, they took the Hero of Time's calloused hand. The eldest hero hauled them to their feet and ushered them away from the chaos, his hand slipping out of theirs and to the small of their back. The contact was prickly and electric, and they wriggled away from it in discomfort. Time let them.
True to his word, the Hero of Time didn't yell. In fact, he didn't speak at all. He simply walked, and they followed.
Whether it was the movement or the relative silence, none of them could say. However, at some point the never-ending rivers rushing from their eyes began to run dry. They began to breathe a little easier, and while the anger remained, the yelling dwindled down to displeased murmurs.
Vio even did his best to reconcile. "I'm not mad at you, Red."
"Ruh-really?" Red rubbed at their itchy eyes.
"Really."
"Even though I wasn't fast enough to stop Blue and Shadow from fighting?"
"That's not your responsibility."
"It is." Red insisted.
"It isn't," Green spoke up. "If anything it's my fault."
"Stop with the blame game!" Blue snapped. "It's no one's fault but Shadow's."
"Blue, for the last time…"
Green found himself being pushed to the surface, naturally separating from the others like oil from water as Blue's and Vio's bickering resumed.
For once, he didn't want to be in the front. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Lead, sure, but how?
With one foot in front of the other. His mind helpfully supplied, or maybe that was Red. His brother was close. Green could tell by the gentle burning behind his eyes. Or maybe that was just from all the crying? Ugh, his eyes felt like sandpaper.
In any case, he took the advice. Green concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, and before he knew it, he and Time had made at least one full revolution around camp. They gave the campsite a wide berth, enough to be able to still see their companions but not hear them.
Not well enough to discern what they were saying, anyway. Hylian ears were too sharp for their own good sometimes. Ironically, Green wished his were sharper, if only to drown out Time's silence.
The Old Man wasn't pressing him. Not with words or even body language. In fact, he was doing the exact opposite. Time had positioned himself so Green was walking on his blind side. The man stared straight ahead as he walked and didn't try to close the person-sized gap between them like Sky or Twilight might have done. Yet Green could sense the expectation radiating from the elder hero. An expectation for Green to speak, to explain what had happened. To confess that he'd messed up.
The longer he kept his lips sealed, the more that expectation grew until it towered over him like a great, hulking tree, and Green couldn't take it anymore.
He caved.
"I'm scared." The confession came out in a whisper. It shouldn't have come out at all if Green was being completely honest. He hadn't meant to say that. He didn't know what he'd meant to say exactly, but it certainly hadn't been that.
He chanced a look at the man beside him, bracing for anger or maybe disgust. Heroes of Courage weren't supposed to admit to being scared. Leaders weren't supposed to admit to being scared. Yet, to his astonishment, Green found Time nodding sagely.
"Me too."
"You…" He blinked dumbly for a moment or seven. "What? I mean…what are you afraid of?" It didn't seem possible that anything could scare Time. He was so large and not just in physical stature.
Time hummed, tilting his head this way and that as he contemplated his next words. "Many things, I suppose. Redeads. Wells. Fatherhood. Losing one of you boys."
"I swear I didn't mean to, Time!" Green exclaimed, hurrying to stand in front of Time so he could meet his eye. So Time knew he was being sincere. "I wouldn't do that. I'd never leave in the middle of watch and not wake someone first. I know better. I'm responsible. I wouldn't run off without saying anything; I wouldn't—"
"Hey." A heavy hand descended on his shoulder and squeezed. "Listen, I believe you. It was an accident, hmm?"
Green began to nod, then shook his head, buried his head in his hands and massaged his aching temples. "I don't know. I don't know what it was. Vio says it was an accident, but I don't know."
"Is that why you're scared? Because you don't know what happened?" Time wondered.
He bit his lip until the coppery tang of metal met his tongue. "No," he said finally. "It's because I know what happened, and I don't know what to do about it."
"That's alright."
"No, it's not!" Green refuted, snapping his head up to meet Time's eye. "Out of the four of us I'm the leader. They all look to me to make these decisions, and I don't know what to do!" Tears were dripping down his face again, but he had a hard time blaming them on Red.
Time's gaze softened. "Green. Being a leader doesn't mean you have to know what you're doing all the time."
He sniffed, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "You do."
The Hero of Time threw back his head and laughed. "I don't, but thanks for letting me know I fake it well." His tone turned slightly more serious, but a hint of a smile remained on his face. "I'm going to let you in on a secret. Before I met you boys, I never considered myself a leader. I'm more of a follower, not so much of people, but of orders. Not strict, army orders but...destiny, I suppose. I did whatever destiny bid me do and often those tasks were rather straightforward. I didn't have to plan or think too hard about it. I just had to do it. Collect those spiritual stones, pull this sword, save that princess, slay this beast.
"And when it seemed destiny was done with me, I found myself aimless. I had a goal, but it was a selfish one. Perhaps that's why it never bore fruit." Time's expression became somber, then, but he swiftly shook it off. "The point is, I don't know what the correct decisions are half the time either, but leading you boys has taught me something: No good leader leads alone. If you don't know the answer, talk it out with your second in command or third or fourth. Chances are, they'll have a solution."
"But I don't have any," Green objected miserably.
Time raised a knowing eyebrow. "Don't you?"
"I…" He dropped his gaze to the grassy ground, worrying the edge of Twilight's pelt between his fingers. "I guess I have Vio, but he's not always around. Especially now…" His mind was silent, but somehow Green didn't think that meant his brothers were. Distantly, he could sense Blue and Vio still arguing and Red trying in vain to break them up, only it wasn't working because they were both incredibly stubborn.
"You have Blue and Red, too." Time reminded him. "Although I realize that might not be helpful if the dispute is among you four." A comforting squeeze of his shoulder brought his gaze up. Time offered him a smile. "I want you to know you can come to me when you need help. And if you're not comfortable telling me, then know the other boys are an option, too. You're not alone. You don't have to carry the weight of whatever is troubling you by yourself. Understand?"
Mutely and with his face far wetter than he would have liked, Green nodded.
"Shall we resume our walk?" Time invited with a gentle pat on his back. Green agreed wordlessly, falling into step beside the older hero.
He was glad Time hadn't suggested they return to camp just yet. Other than wanting his face dry, Green realized Time was right. He couldn't handle this by himself. The situation had gotten well and truly out of hand, and he needed a solution before Shadow did anything worse.
"There'ssomeoneelseinmyhead," Green blurted out as fast as he could on the off-chance it would prevent Blue from hearing—and maybe Time too. But the only way to guarantee that was to say nothing at all.
An entire ocean surged to the front so fast Green was left choking on imaginary seafoam. He barely heard Time through the water clogging his ears, but he was pretty sure the elder hero had asked him to repeat. Unfortunately, he couldn't. Blue was too busy filling his mind and mouth with salt.
"Don't say another word, Green!"
Vio jumped to his defense. "He can say whatever he pleases,"
"Please don't fight…" Red whimpered, and Blue shouted over him. "Not when it's about him he can't."
"Yes he can."
"No, he can't. Time's going to turn on us as soon as he knows—"
"He won't," Vio declared with conviction. "Have you heard how nice he's been about this whole thing so far?"
"No, I haven't because I've had to listen to your ridiculous claims about how Shadow did nothing wrong!"
A heavy sigh rattled his mind. "You're so difficult. That's why Green's doing this. You know that, right? It's because you pushed him."
"No, you did! You and Red did with your believing the best of monsters. You've both swayed him with your idiocy!"
Blue was wrong and Vio was equally wrong. None of his brothers had persuaded him or pushed him to do anything. This had been Shadow. All Shadow.
With great difficulty, Green swallowed back the ocean, flexed his fingers to confirm he was still in control, and spoke. "There's someone else living in my head."
Time absorbed this information with a blank expression on his face. "Since when?"
He worried the pelt between his fingers. "Since…a few days ago? I don't know exactly."
"I take it this person is the reason why camp was left unattended last night?"
He nodded, tight-lipped. "I…i-it wouldn't be too bad if he couldn't take control, but he can, and when he does…" Green took a deep breath to steady himself. "When he does, he does things I wouldn't do in a million years." He was afraid to peek at Time and see his expression so he didn't. He concentrated on stroking the dark fur wrapped around him like a blanket. Had it always been this soft?
"I can relate," Time said finally.
"Wha-you can?" Green couldn't help snapping his head up to peer at Time. "How?"
Time seemed to consider his words carefully before speaking. "On my second journey, I utilized magical masks. Some of them were capable of transforming my shape."
"Like how Twilight uses that stone to turn into a wolf?"
"Yes," Time confirmed. "Just like that. Except I used masks and the masks themselves were more than enchanted. They were possessed."
"I don't like where this is going," Blue grumbled.
Vio shushed him sharply. "Shh. Time never talks about his journeys."
"Yeah, I wanna hear too." Red eagerly pushed closer, and Green blinked repeatedly to clear the haze from his eyes.
"The masks allowed me to take the form of the deceased, but I suspect it was only because the spirits were still there, trapped in the masks. When I put them on, my body took their shape. Two spirits shared one body, and though I was in control most of the time, there were occasions where the spirit of the mask would take over." Time chuckled in fond remembrance. "It scared me half to death the first time. As soon as I regained control, I took the mask off. I didn't want to put it on again. But the fact of the matter was I couldn't do what I needed to as a Hylian."
"What did the mask turn you into?" Red was invested, Green equally so.
"A young Deku Scrub. I also had a mask with a Zora spirit and one with a Goron."
He felt his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise in amazement. "That's so cool!"
Time smiled warmly. "Yes, some aspects of the experience were thrilling. Others were terrifying, like losing control of my body.
"However, when I put the Deku Scrub mask back on, the spirit apologized. He told me it was an accident. He hadn't meant to take over. He didn't even know he could. In truth, the event had taken us both by surprise."
"It's the same with Shadow," Vio said.
"It's completely different," Blue disagreed. "And how did he pick up that Shadow's dead? Did Green mention that?"
"I don't think so."
Green and Red ignored them both. "Did he take control again after that?"
Time nodded. "He did. Sometimes accidentally, sometimes purposely, but every time he helped. We found out pretty quickly that working together was in both our interests. He could help me get what I needed to get done faster and far more gracefully than I could have if left to my own devices. On the flip side, he was allowed to live again, if only for a little while.
"The same was true for the other spirits. They'd try to walk me through how to maneuver their forms, but it's not easy to comprehend how to use muscles and body parts you didn't have a second ago. Often it was easiest for them to show me themselves. That way I could feel what muscles they were using to swim or roll. I won't lie…I wasn't very good at either."
They giggled, and Time playfully hurried to defend his pride. "That's not to say I was hopeless. I could grasp the basics well enough but if, say…I needed to be precise while rolling as a Goron on a narrow pathway, then the spirit would take control. He knew what he was doing more than I did and neither of us were interested in falling."
"So you weren't scared of them after you started working together?" Red wondered hopefully. He was pretty sure he knew what Time was getting at and hoped Green was picking it up too.
"Not so much, no. It was still disconcerting losing control, especially when they wandered off to talk to other people, but they usually warned me before taking over. That made it much more bearable. Besides, I knew they didn't mean any harm. They simply wanted to interact with their loved ones again, and I wasn't about to deny them. Fate had been cruel enough. I trusted them."
And that was where they differed. "I don't trust the new person in my head."
A tight smile played on Time's lips. "Trust is never built in a day. I was wary of the mask spirits at first, but working with them reassured me that their intentions were good."
Green understood what Time was saying, but he had to agree with Blue here. Their situation wasn't the same. "I don't think working together with him is an option."
"Of course it is!" Vio insisted.
"I black out when he takes over." Green said. "We all do." At least he was pretty sure they all did because if one of them didn't, they'd at least try to stop him, right?
Time hummed, his gaze going distant. "For me that's only happened with one spirit. Honestly, if I was ever truly afraid of any of the transformation masks, it was of that one. The spirit within it, well…I'm not entirely sure what it was, god or demon. All I know is that it was fierce. Its control was absolute. So was its power. In the end it helped me just as much as the others—maybe even more—but it didn't like letting go."
Green swallowed thickly, a stone dropping into his stomach. "How'd you get the mask off then?"
"With a promise that I'd let it have control again."
"…Did you?"
"Yes, though it wasn't without its consequences." Green didn't miss the way Time's fingers trailed to his scarred eye. Suddenly the red markings on the man's cheek looked like bloody claw marks. He jolted as if Green's uneasiness had reached out and pricked him. Time offered a wan smile. "Ah, but you don't have to worry about that. None of you are gods bent on destruction."
Green wasn't so sure.
"My point is, I understand how scary blacking out like that can be. However, I think you have an advantage I didn't. You have a visible space inside your head now, do you not?"
"Yes, that's new too, and I don't like it," Green admitted, fidgeting with the fabric of his sleeves. He could barely feel it beneath his buzzing fingertips.
"Like it or not, it may be the only way for you to communicate with this new person."
He shook his head. "I can't. He's too far back, and I can't go that far."
"Can one of the others?"
He nodded. All his brothers could explore the far reaches of the inner world. Green was the outlier.
"I would have one of them talk to him then," Time advised.
That wasn't the advice he'd wanted to hear. He'd been hoping Time would give him a concrete way to banish Shadow from his head. But of course, deep down, he knew that such a solution was never possible. Time's situation had involved masks, objects that could be taken on and off at will. Green didn't have the same luxury. His brain was stuck inside his head. There was no way to remove the parts he didn't like.
His discontent with Time's answer must have shown on his face because the seasoned hero continued. "If that's not an option, I could try to talk to him for you."
"You're…you're not freaked out about this at all?" Green asked, unable to fathom how Time was so calm. Sure, he didn't know all the details about Shadow but still! There was a foreign entity living in his head!
"I admit it's unusual," Time conceded. "Then again, so is having four people living in one body."
"Yeah, but at least that makes sense!" Green exclaimed, heartbeat thudding too loudly in his ears. He clutched the front of his tunic, wishing the organ would slow down. Having his heart banging against his chest like a caged bird only made him want to run. And he couldn't run from this. "The Four Sword split us into four. That's it. Not five. Four. There should only ever be four of us!"
Time considered this. "Do you have any idea why a fifth could have appeared?"
"No." He snapped. Maybe Blue was closer than he thought or maybe the frustration was his own. "If I did, I wouldn't be freaking out about it!"
The one-eyed hero's gaze softened. "No need to freak out about it. You're safe. We'll keep you safe."
"How?" Green so desperately wanted to believe the man beside him, but as great a hero as Time was, he had limits. Not even he could reach into Green's mind and remove Shadow.
"As I said before, I'll talk to him for you, or one of the other boys can fill that role if you think they'd be better suited. He might not know he's scaring you. In fact, I imagine that's the case. Whoever this person is, wherever he came from, if he's a part of you I can't see him being malicious."
That was the thing. Green didn't even know if Shadow was a part of him. Had he ever been his actual shadow? Or had he always been crafted out of dark magic?
"Look, you don't need to make any decisions right this second," Time said. "Take your time. Think about it. Talk it over with the others. When you're ready, you can come to me."
Green didn't think they'd ever be ready—Blue and Vio were already vocalizing their opinions on the matter quite loudly—but he thanked Time all the same. The man was being kind. Kinder than Green felt he deserved, considering.
"You won't tell the others." He heard himself—Blue?—say. It wasn't a question.
"If you don't want me to, then no. I won't mention it."
Satisfaction flooded his body. The tension in his shoulders didn't leave but it did begin to unwind the tiniest bit. "Good."
"I would appreciate it if you refrained from telling the others what I told you." Time mentioned after a moment of silence.
"Consider it done," he agreed.
The two of them—or perhaps it was the five of them; they couldn't tell who was moving the body anymore—continued their stroll in silence. When they did return to camp, both heroes were careful to keep their lips sealed, carefully guarding the secrets on the tips of their tongues.
YouTube Resources:
"TALKING TO MY ALTERS? The Buddy System Method for Dissociative Identity Disorder | DissociaDID" –DissociaDID
"System Communication" –The Entropy System