Adam put his head inside the door.
"Everybody decent?" he asked.
"You can come in," Hannah said.
Adam stepped into the room, eyeing me. "How are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm fine now," I said.
"Hmm," he said, and I added, "I feel a lot better."
"That's good," he said.
Clare handed the hair brush back to me. "I'll go back down, and see how Brian's doing with Isaac," she said. She went out, leaving me
with Hannah and Adam. I stood up, too, going to lay Hannah's hair brush back on her dresser.
It was so quiet as I stood there, that I said, again, to Adam, "I'm sorry I worried you."
Adam nodded briefly, looking thoughtful. "Sit back down, Harlie."
I sat back beside Hannah, feeling flutters of nerves in my stomach.
"I'm going to do better with snacks and stuff," I said, hastily, wanting to head Adam off if possible.
"That's good to hear," he said.
Adam looked so serious. His face was lined with worry. And he looked intent.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked, without thinking about it first. I folded my hands, twisting them together.
Adam sighed. "I'm not mad."
I breathed in relief.
"We talked a couple months ago. About your diabetes. About you not taking it lightly. Do you remember that talk?" Adam asked me.
"I remember," I said. I hurried to defend myself. "I haven't had any real problems since then," I told Adam. "I've been doing good, Adam."
"You push the envelope," he said. "Way, way too much. And, we need to stop doing that."
I gave him a tremulous look. "What's that mean?"
"More of the same," he said. "We talked just yesterday. About cutting down on your weekend stuff. Now, we're gonna add not staying at
work longer than four o'clock. If Ivy goes out on a call while you're on your shift, then that's alright. But, once four comes on, that's when you
head home."
"Okay," I said. "I just wanted to help Ivy-"
Adam held up a hand to stop me from talking. "Let's leave that," he said. "At this point, that's not what's important. You taking better care
of yourself is what's important."
"Okay," I said, again.
Hannah had been sitting quietly, listening. She gave me a small smile. "I'm going back downstairs. How about some apple
slices and peanut butter later?"
I nodded, and she left, going out quietly, and leaving the door ajar.
I sat there, being still, and wishing Adam would sit down or something. He just kept standing there, his hands in the pockets of his
jeans, and looking at me.
"So, you're feeling back up to par, huh?" he asked me.
"Yeah. I feel good. After eating and taking a bath," I said.
"That's good," he said, sounding relieved. He sat down beside me now, on the bed, but he was quiet. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable,
sitting there in quiet like that. But, I was hoping he was done talking about anything to do with my diabetes.
"You can get started on your homework," he said.
"In my room?" I asked, and he gave me a quick look.
"In your room or downstairs if you can concentrate down there. It's up to you," he said.
"Okay."
"I think you ought to stay home tomorrow," he said, surprising me. "Stay on a good meal schedule. Take it easy."
"I don't need to," I protested. If I could stay home and go out riding or something, that would be different, but it's a hard and fast
long time rule in our house. If you don't go to school because of injury or illness, then your behind stays in the house. Period. Even if you
start feeling better, you still stay inside. And, unless you are delirious or have a broken bone, it can get real boring having to stay inside.
"I think it's a good idea," Adam said.
"I'll get too far behind," I said. "I can go, Adam. Please don't make me stay home."
"Well-we'll see," he said, and stood up. "Get going on your homework."
7
I went downstairs and gathered up my work from my book bag that somebody had brought in for me.
"I put your work clothes in the washer," Hannah told me. "They're going to need to soak for a while."
I reached out and gave Hannah a quick, impulsive hug. She returned the hug, kissing the side of my head as we broke apart.
"Thanks," I told her.
"I don't mind doing things to help you out," she said.
I focused hard and got my both of my anatomy worksheets done. After that I scribbled on an article for the journalism class. I ate my snack
and did my shot. It was barely after eight and Adam told me to go on up to bed.
I said okay, and picked up my books and papers, and put them in my bag. I paused at the bottom of the stairs and turned back to
the living room. "Adam?"
"What?" he asked, in the process of folding one of the newspapers.
"If I feel okay in the morning, can I go on to school?"
"We'll see in the morning," he said, not saying one way or the other.
I kept my mouth shut, and said my goodnights, and headed upstairs. Guthrie and Brian were talking at the end of the hallway,
near Guthrie's bedroom door. Since Jill and Daniel were gone, Guthrie had moved back to the old bedroom from the basement.
I hadn't come face to face with Brian all evening. I paused at my bedroom doorway, watching them down the hallway.
I figured I should count my lucky stars and just go on to bed. Still-I don't like being on the outs with Brian. And, too, it might work
better for me in the long run if I approached Brian on my own instead of waiting for him to come to me. I went to the ladder lift
that goes up to their attic apartment, and waited, wrapping my arm around one of the rungs.
"Hey, Har," Guthrie called down the hallway to me. "Wanna watch In the Heat of the Night?"
"No," I called back.
Guthrie and Brian came walking down the hallway towards where I was standing. They paused beside me.
"It's gonna be a good episode," Guthrie told me.
"I'm going to bed," I told him.
Guthrie said okay, said good night, and went on down the stairs, leaving me there with Brian. I kept my arms wrapped around one of the
steps of the ladder, and risked a look at Brian. He was looking at me, too, his expression not giving anything away.
I decided to jump right into the fray. "I'm sorry I was disrespectful to you this morning on the phone," I said.
Brian gave a brief nod. "Yeah," he said. "That wasn't good."
"I shouldn't have said it," I said.
"You're right about that."
Ugh. Brian wasn't going to make this easy for me.
"It's been a hard and fast rule for you kids, from day one, that you don't try to pit one of us against the other," he said.
"I know. It just-slipped out," I said, sounding lame even to myself.
"Uh huh," he said, not sounding convinced or accepting. "We'll talk about it more tomorrow."
I didn't like the sound of that. I'd wanted to apologize, and have Brian say what he wanted to say to me about it, and then be done.
"Can't we finish talking about it now?" I asked, and he shook his head.
I studied him. "I'd rather do it now," I said, quietly. Not disrespectfully.
"What you would rather do doesn't figure in to it," Brian said. He gave me a full on gaze. "I'm tired. It's been a long day for me, and I
know you've had a rough day, too. We're both gonna get some rest, and then we'll take it on tomorrow," he said, in a tone that brooked
no argument.
"Okay," I said, really quietly still, and hoped that my hang-dog expression would render some sympathy from him. Take it on tomorrow had an
ominous sound to it.
"You're feelin' alright now?" Brian asked me.
I nodded. "I do," I said, honestly, and then wondered if I should have said I still felt rough, and played the sympathy card with him.
"Well, you head off to bed. See you in the morning," he said.
"Night, Bri."
"Goodnight," he said, and gave my shoulder a pat on his way down the stairs.
7
Even though I was tired, it took me awhile to go to sleep that night. Thoughts and worries going thru my mind. I knew my grades
were not good. And now Adam would think that I wasn't taking care of myself again, after what happened today. And, too-it had been a bit
scary today when I felt dizzy like that. I know it's things that all diabetics have to deal with at times, but it was still scary. And, Brian was upset with
me. I could tell. He hadn't been mean or anything while we were in the hallway earlier, but-I could still tell he was mad. Or very close to it.
I finally did sleep, waking up a couple of times, feeling thirsty. I went to the bathroom, and drank three or four cups of water from the Dixie
cups. When my alarm went off the next morning, I shut it off and sat up on the edge of my bed. I felt pretty okay to say that I'd been up like I had.
I got dressed for school, except for my shoes, and went down, prepared to eat and act normal so Adam would let me go to school.
I went to the kitchen, which was already filled with McFaddens. Evan was there, too, sitting in his old spot at the table, and stuffing his
face with cinnamon rolls and bacon.
There was a chorus of good mornings tossed my way, and I answered, going to get my cup of coffee.
Hannah gave me a soft smile. "How are you?" she asked me.
"I'm good," I said.
I got eggs from the skillet on the stove, and went to sit in my chair at the table. Guthrie was just coming down now, his hair sticking up.
"Did you forget to comb your hair?" Hannah teased him.
"Just hungry. I didn't want your cinnamon rolls to get devoured before I got down here," Guthrie said.
Regular morning talk encompassed the table. Ranch work. Cattle. Neighbors. I'd eaten my eggs and bacon, and finished my coffee,
when my brothers began to rise and disperse. Adam came behind my chair, pausing there.
"How are you this mornin'?" he asked me.
"I'm good," I said, and stood up, taking my plate to the sink, and then pushing in my chair, pausing beside him. "I can go to school."
Adam looked unconvinced. As though he was thinking hard about something. "I don't know," he said, sounding doubtful.
"I promise I'll eat my snacks, and my entire lunch," I told him. "You can even have Guthrie be my watchdog."
"Don't put me into it," Guthrie protested, reaching for another slice of bacon.
"He can report to you if I eat it all," I said, only half-way joking. Guthrie was shaking his head, his mouth full,
and Adam said, quietly, "Do I need Guthrie to report to me on you?"
I'd been trying, somewhat to be humorous, and it had fallen flat.
"No," I said, turning entirely serious. "You don't. I'll be careful, and do everything I'm supposed to."
"Alright," he said, giving in. "You come home right after four, though. No staying later at the office with Ivy," he reminded me.
"Okay," I said.
The kitchen began to thin out as everybody scattered. Guthrie was still eating, and Brian was leaning against the counter by the sink.
Adam refilled his coffee cup, and said, "Hurry up, Guth, you're gonna be late." As if he'd just remembered he looked at me
again, and said, "You took care of that rabbit business, right? The other kid knows you can't do it?"
I felt my face get hot. I mean, Brian was standing right there, listening. I avoided looking towards Brian, and said,
"Yeah, they know."
I made my exit as soon as I was able to, grabbing my book bag, and then, waiting while Hannah handed me a small wrapped package.
"Snacks," she said. "I tried to do some different things. Put it in the top of your locker."
"Okay," I said, taking the package from her. "Thanks, Hannah."
Hannah laid a hand on my arm. "Put it in the top of your locker. And eat them. Don't just leave them as locker decoration."
I gave her a small smile. "I promise I'll eat them."
"Alright, sweetie, have a good day," she said, and turned back towards the kitchen, and Isaac, and all the vast amount of chores that
awaited her on a daily basis.
Guthrie was on the front porch, talking to Adam, who was, as usual, leaning against one of the porch posts, cup of coffee in hand.
"You both have a good day," Adam said.
"Once three-thirty hits and the bell rings, that's when it will be a good day," Guthrie quipped.
7
Guthrie drove ahead of me, staying just in front, until the last few miles, when he took a turn, and I knew he was going towards
Trent's house. Probably to pick him up for school. He honked in goodbye as he turned, and I returned it, honking back.
It was quiz day in Anatomy class. I hadn't studied for it. I'd told Crane that I thought it was on Wednesday. But, no, it was
Tuesday, and here it was, being passed out down the rows by Mr. Price. He's a nice guy, and not above talking and laughing with
his students, but he's no nonsense when it comes to quizzes and tests. So, right now, he was solemn and cautioning against any talking,
or any cheating.
I bent over the quiz, hoping that the worksheets I'd done recently would jar my memory so I could answer correctly.
That did apply to the first few questions, but then it got more difficult, and answers had to be written out and explained in essay form.
Ugh.
When I handed it in, I didn't feel confident that I'd done well at all. I knew my grade right now was hovering from the C-plus that Crane had heard about
at conferences to closer to a D-plus. The work was getting harder, and it seemed like lately I had trouble concentrating. I was always thinking about
other things.
At lunch time I did finish most of what was on my lunch tray. I guess I was eating too slowly or something to please Guthrie, because
at one point he said, "Bell's gonna ring soon. Hurry up and eat."
And-though Kristen and Lori and Trent and Kenny were all there, sharing our table outside, I gave Guthrie a glare meant to silence him.
"You're not supposed to be a watchdog, remember?" I told him. "Or a narc."
Guthrie eyes snapped. "I'm no watchdog," he said. "And I don't narc you out. I just don't happen to wanna watch you kiss the
pavement."
"What's going on?" Lori ventured to ask.
"Adam's right-hand man," I muttered.
"Fine. Whatever," Guthrie said, sounding mad, and he stood up, holding his now empty lunch tray. "You ready?" he asked Kristen. She said yes, and got up, too,
giving me a questioning look. Trent and Lori and Kenny were all surprised, I could tell. None of them is used to seeing Guthrie and I go at
each other. If anything, it's the opposite. Guthrie and I are usually a united front.
"Let's go," I said to Kenny. I threw away my trash, and we walked towards the school building.
"You okay?" Kenny asked me.
I knew I was wrong about what I'd said to Guthrie. If anything, he was the opposite of a watchdog. He'd plainly said at breakfast this
morning to leave him out of it. And I knew he was only urging me to eat out of concern and nothing else. What was wrong with me?
I hated being on the outs with Guthrie. It just makes everything else seem off-kilter somehow. If it was something minor that it wasn't so
bad, cause we always made it up later. But, just now, Guthrie had seemed really mad.
I sighed. "I don't want Guthrie to be mad at me."
"He won't be. He's just cooling off," Kenny said.
I nodded. That made good sense. And Kenny did know Guthrie pretty well, considering they've been friends since second grade.
The bell was ringing.
7