After Ford left, I did my chores, and then went into the house, thru the back door, and going to check my blood sugar level in the kitchen. Guthrie ambled into the kitchen while I was doing that, going to the refrigerator to take out the milk jug.
"Wanna watch a movie?" he offered.
"Naw. I've got to study."
"It went rough with Crane, huh?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Sorry," Guthrie said, leaning his hip against the counter next to me.
I nodded again. I didn't feel like talking about it.
I set about making myself a snack, grapes and some Wheat Thin crackers, putting them in a small bowl, and getting a glass of water. I headed up
the back stairs to my bedroom.
I settled on my bed, eating my snack, and forcing myself to concentrate on studying for the anatomy test that was set for the
following day. I was determined to Ace it. Or at least, to get a B or above. I was still reeling from the intenseness of the talk with Crane
earlier. I could say the talk with Crane and Adam, but Adam might as well not have been there, I thought, for all the help he'd been.
I felt-wounded, almost. Crane didn't have to be such a hard-ass about it, in my opinion. Yes, I'd messed up. But, I'd gone and told him,
to his face, and not waited until progress reports. At least Ford had stayed. And he'd spoken up, and tried to help me. I felt an overwhelming
gratefulness to Ford, and missed him with an ache, even though he'd just left a while ago.
I thought I'd call him later, just to hear his voice and thank him again. That was, if I was allowed to use the telephone, I thought, spitefully.
I was still in the midst of studying when I heard my name being called. Supper time.
I used the back stairs again, and went into the kitchen, into the noise and hubbub of the family at feeding time. Clare was still setting the table
and Brian was filling water glasses. I took my seat between Guthrie and Isaac in his high chair. Isaac grinned his few-tooth grin at me, banging his
spoon on the tray of his high chair.
Hannah began putting some green beans onto the tray for him, and I buttered a piece of bread, handing it to him.
"Thanks, sweetie," Hannah told me.
I filled my plate with green beans, and took a pork chop off the platter as Guthrie passed it to me.
Conversation went on around me, and over me. Cattle. Repairs. What was needed from the next grocery store trip.
"Feeling alright?" Hannah asked me, in a low tone.
"Great," I said. I said it blandly, but I guess Hannah could hear the slight sarcasm in my tone, too, because she raised her eyebrows at me.
She didn't say anything, though, she just reached over and patted one of my hands. Just for a moment.
I finished my supper, and as everybody else was finishing, and standing, scooting in chairs, and clearing the table, I checked the
dish washing chart. I groaned to myself. There was my name. Next to Adam's.
'What fun,' I thought.
As the kitchen cleared out, Adam said, "Wash, or dry?" to me.
"Wash," I said. If I had to do dishes, then I preferred having my hands in the hot, soapy water.
Adam took a towel from the drawer as I began filling the sink with water and dish soap.
He finished clearing the table, putting things back into the refrigerator, as I began washing the dishes.
"How about some popcorn later?" he asked me, as he started drying the glasses.
"I don't think I want any," I said.
"Extra salt and butter?" he offered.
I shrugged. "I dunno," I said, keeping my eyes on the dishes I was washing.
For a long few moments, there was only the sound of dishes clinking and water running. I could feel Adam studying me, though. I finally turned to
look at him, and he gave me the beginnings of a tentative smile. Just very slight. As if he was testing me out. And, I knew he was, too. Adam
knows me like a book. He knew I was feeling rankled and prickly. I didn't smile back, though. I went back to washing my dishes.
"I think it'll be alright, Harlie," Adam said, quietly.
I wanted to ask just what it he was talking about, but I didn't, because I already knew. He meant that if I buckled down and did what I
was supposed to do, if I got my grades up, if I did all of that-well, then, things would be alright.
"Hope so," is all I said.
"We want you to do well," Adam said, still quietly, as he dried the inside of a glass. "As well as we know you're able to do."
"I know," I said, shortly.
"We're not tryin' to be harsh," Adam said.
"Could have fooled me," I said, and then squeezed my eyes shut. The smart-aleck come-back had jumped off my tongue before my
brain even registered it. I didn't want to open my eyes and look at Adam. But, I had to. So, I did. With dread.
Adam was looking at me, alright. With a studying sort of an expression.
"I mean-" I paused, "You sort of are harsh. Well-Crane is, anyway."
"Crane knows you can do it, Harlie."
"He expects too much," I said. Daringly, on my part. But, Adam seemed to be open to a talk, of sorts. At least, as long as I didn't go
too far with my comments.
Adam shook his head slightly. "No," he said.
I knew he meant that no as in, 'No, Crane doesn't expect too much.'
I began washing the last of the plates with a flurry of intent. "I've got a test tomorrow in Anatomy," I said.
"You do?"
"Yeah. I swear-I'm gonna try so hard to ace that thing." I finished the last pan, and let out the water from the sink.
"Well, that would be great," Adam said. I turned to face him, picking up an extra towel and drying my hands.
"Do your best, Harlie. That's all," he said.
"It sounds simple when you say it," I told him.
Adam finished rinsing and drying that last pan, and then began drying his own hands.
He put the towel on the counter, and stepped closer to me, putting one hand on the back of my neck.
"Your best, sugar. That's it," Adam said, quietly.
I suddenly felt weepy. He was being so kind. He'd let me make a couple of comments without coming down hard on me. I actually felt
a little better. I really did.
"Okay," I said, so softly it was almost a whisper.
7
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