Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter, whether it be the rewrite or the original version. Regardless, I promise I will finish.
So, as I was dusting off this chapter, I realized this was the first chapter I posted post car accident for the original story. It has been seven years since the accident. Although I'm having some residual issues sitting down, I'm in relatively decent shape for getting hit by a van. Also I realized I probably did the proofreading of this chapter slightly high on painkillers, which explains some of my creative decisions. I definitely wouldn't do them now.
There was a lot of restructuring in the next three chapters. I also decided to split up the original chapters to make three, mostly to avoid 10,000 word chapters. There is also a lot of new material in here.
Chapter 19: Phone Calls That Should Have Happened Earlier
Really, Matt should not have picked up the phone when he saw that Betty was calling but Matt really wanted to talk to somebody who didn't hate him at the moment. No one in the other apartment would even bring him a slice of pizza right now and he knew better than to go anywhere near that apartment right now. Of course, if he was thinking straight, he would've remembered that Betty was one of Amanda's best friends. Therefore Betty would obviously take Amanda's side and therefore, should have let the call to the voicemail.
"You are a complete jack ass." Daniel yelled at him so loud that Matt pulled the phone away from his ear. Instead of the consoling Betty Matt was hoping for, he got a worried/pissed off Daniel who called using Betty's cell phone. Lovely.
Daniel was seconds from ripping Matt's head off. If he was in the same city, Matt was certain he would've had another black eye. From the background voices he could tell that Betty was listening along with his Aunt Brianna. Apparently, Amanda left an unintelligible message on all their cell phones. Matt was angry that Amanda turned to Daniel again, but said nothing. He couldn't as Daniel continued screaming at him.
"You are such an asshole. And don't deny what you said because Tyler witnessed most of it and told your aunt everything." Matt is not even surprised. "If the situation was the other way and Betty was currently carrying your child, I wouldn't give a fuck. I would love that child as if it was my own because it was a part of her." Matt scoffed at that.
"I doubt that you would be that altruistic if the situation was really the other way around." Matt said out loud.
"He already has. He was going to raise DJ as his own son, so he wouldn't have to know about what I did with my brother's girlfriend." Matt barely recognized the voice because it was higher now thanks to the hormone treatments, but he knew it was his aunt's special friend Alex.
"Like Alexis said I already did, so your argument is ridiculous. Do you really love Amanda or was she just another person for you to fuck or rather fuck over?" Daniel asked not giving Matt time to respond to the earlier question.
"Yes." Matt answered instantly annoyed at the fact that Daniel questioned him.
"No, I'm talking about real love not mere affection or sexual attraction. Not the type of love that's there when everything is easy, but the type that's there when everything is falling apart. What would you be willing to give up for her? Would you choose Amanda over Victoria? Will you finally settle down and grow up and stop fucking around with different career choices?" Matt could hear the seriousness in his tone over the phone.
"I already have." He responded in extreme irritation. What right did Daniel have to question him? He was blind to his own feelings regarding Betty for years. He was a bigger screw up then Matt ever was until Betty came along.
"I doubt that considering the message in my voicemail and what your aunt told me earlier along with everything I've seen over the last nine months. You already chose your own needs over her more than once. You tried to get back with Betty even though you knew it wasn't going to work leaving Amanda brokenhearted."
"I know that was…" Matt started to speak but Daniel wouldn't let him.
"You have no idea how upset she was that night. She cried off and on for hours, yet she let you go willingly. Of course, you still screwed around with her heart afterwards. I know all about the kiss the night you found out that you didn't get Betty pregnant. Amanda told me. You ran away to Africa, but not before you screwed her literally this time without being smart enough to use a condom." Matt decided it was most prudent not to mention that he thought Amanda was on the pill when they went sans condoms once they ran out.
"You left her for your own selfish reasons, yet decided to tie her to you anyway. Then you broke up with her because of whatever lie Megan told you. A large part of me thinks you are only with her this time because of the baby." Matt was pretty sure he heard something break in the background at that moment. He had a feeling that Betty was pissed.
"I needed to find myself. That is why I went to Botswana." Matt said defensively. He was tempted to say 'I didn't want to watch you get with my ex-girlfriend', but he had a feeling that would not work well in this situation.
"You're 28 fucking years old with a kid on the way. You don't have time to keep running away to find yourself. Grow the fuck up." The seriousness of Daniel's statement was lessened by laughter in the background.
"Alexis, I'm trying to make a point here. Stop laughing." Daniel screamed at his sister.
"I'm laughing at the absurdity of the situation. You are actually telling somebody else that he needs to grow up. That is just too much." Alexis said as she continued laughing. Matt imagined his aunt's 'special friend' falling on the floor from her hysterical giggling.
"It may have taken me a bit longer than everyone else but I did get there. Your trust me to take care of DJ, therefore you must see me as a grownup. I'm also now in charge of Mode UK and all European operations without the help of you, mom, or Wilhelmina." Daniel said with considerable amounts of irritation.
"Sorry. Continue raking Brianna's nephew over the coals for running away like a coward and his inability to stand up to his acid tongue bitch of a mother." Alexis said, once she stopped laughing.
"Like, you are one to talk." Matt spat out. "My aunt has been raising your namesake by herself for the last five years. Where the fuck were you?" Matt said bitterly stating the one question that has been on his mind since he found out about the paternity of his baby cousin/pseudo niece.
"Unlike you, I didn't know. It wasn't like your aunt went on The Fashion Report and told everything. If I had known, I would've been there." Alexis said in her defense. Matt didn't believe her.
"Like, I would ever do that." His aunt said with an angry scoff. "It wasn't like I could tell you because I thought you were dead until Lexis was a toddler. I was the only one who knew about your feelings of gender dysphoria and you didn't have the decency to tell me what you were planning."
"I tried to tell you but..."
"You should've tried harder." Brianna Interrupted.
"I knew something was off about the accident report. I thought you killed yourself because you couldn't deal with being in the wrong body or Bradford's rejection anymore. I mourned for you like everyone else. Do you know how hard it was to carry the child of a dead man?" His aunt said with the type of venom that she usually reserved just for Matt's mother. Although usually when Brianna is dealing with his mother, she usually is not on the verge of tears.
"I was going to tell you everything that morning, but you were already gone when I woke up." Matt was pretty sure Alexis was referring to the morning after Alexis junior was conceived, but he didn't want confirmation of that. The thought of his half-brother's sister having sex with his aunt was just strange and disturbing on so many levels. This must be the most incestuous family ever.
"What was I supposed to do, Alex? You were with Jordan. You told the world that you loved her, and you wanted to marry her someday. I was trying to move on from you. Then you showed up at my door and kissed me. It was like nothing changed. Of course, I ran away." Matt was pretty sure his aunt was crying by that point.
"I'm sure the two of you have lots of things to talk out." Betty started. "Preferably when neither of the children are up and watching this scene from the stairs. Can we please get this conversation back to Amanda and Matt?" Betty asked annoyed, trying to get the conversation back on track.
"Fine." Alexis mumbled under her breath. "Let me say this, I have never run away from my responsibilities to my children. The only reason why I ever considered letting Daniel continue to raise DJ as his son was because I thought it would be easier on DJ. He was already having a difficult time accepting that his aunt used to be his uncle. I didn't want to make it worse by inadvertently taking the place of his mother. I love my son and would do anything to be with him. The same is already true with Alexis junior. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with my brother. You need to grow up and take responsibility for what you do." Really, he should have hung up the phone right then and there, but he didn't.
"You are your father's son. Your father tried to force my mother to have an abortion because he didn't want to take responsibility for creating Tyler. He will not even see him now." Matt was aware of that without Daniel pointing out.
"Maybe you should just run away now like you normally do. It will be easier in the end. Amanda doesn't need you if you don't want to be there. There are a lot of people who will be there for her. You know I hope the baby is mine even if baby talk freaks Betty out right now because unlike you I would cherish this child no matter how it disrupted my plans." The way Daniel said it, Matt completely believed him.
"Baby talk does not freak me out." Betty said defensively. "I want to have kids with you even if I have to play step-mom. I just don't want to give birth any time soon. Just give me a year or two." Matt almost dropped his phone at that moment. Less than a year ago, she was absolutely terrified about the mere possibility of being pregnant with his child, but Betty was perfectly ready to start a family with Daniel now. She was perfectly ready to start a family with Daniel last year if Matt remembered correctly.
"Do you mean that?" Daniel asked with surprise in his voice that could easily be heard through the telephone.
"Yes… maybe. I mostly said it in the heat of the moment but yes, eventually." This announcement was followed by what sounded distinctly like kissing.
"Please go upstairs and do that. If I wanted to watch porn right now, I would download something to my phone." He heard his aunt say with a sigh. That made Matt a little less angry at her for the events of the last few weeks. "You know my five-year-old is watching from the stairs. She just barely missed you two having sex in the living room this evening."
"I really didn't need to know that." Matt mumbled into the phone.
"We were not having sex in the living room." Betty said in what sounded like embarrassment.
"That's because I interrupted you. I know my brother." Alexis followed up.
"Alex as much as I want to hear this uncomfortable conversation, let me talk to my nephew for a few minutes alone." His aunt told her former lover. He thinks former lover anyway.
"Fine. I'll take care of the eavesdroppers. DJ and Lexis, back to the guest room now. You two have only known each other a few days and you're already conspiring with each other." He heard Alexis say with a long-suffering sigh.
"We'll go help." Betty said in a way that was obviously an excuse to get out of there. Matt wished he could join her.
"Why? I actually want to hear this conversation." Daniel said almost whining.
"Daniel, leave with me now." Betty demanded.
"Fine. You're ruining all my fun." Daniel said, somewhat annoyed.
"I'm sure you can find other fun things to do when you are away from my impressionable five-year-old." Alexis mumbled so low that the phone barely picked up what she said.
"What about DJ?" Daniel said whimsically.
"DJ is French. His views on sexuality are a little different. That's probably the only reason why he's not in therapy yet." His aunt said just as he heard the door shut most likely signaling that everyone else had left the room.
"Is it my turn to rake you over the coals for disappearing for over a week before the news of your daughter's paternity came out via Twitter?" Matt asked his aunt as sarcastically as possible.
"Not really. It was not my fault that I forgot the British Press is ruthless. They make Suzuki seem like a teddy bear. Didn't we already have this conversation Saturday?" She asked most likely trying to avoid this conversation.
"Not really. You're very elusive when you want to be." Matt told his aunt.
"I have the right to be. The situation was complicated before it was made worse by the fact that I just found out that my daughter's cousin is also her uncle."
"That still doesn't explain why you kept things so quiet for so long. You could've told me."
"Again, the fewer people that know the better. At first I kept quiet because I didn't want Jordan to find out that Alex cheated on her before her death,"
"Aren't you guys best friends now? I thought she was Lexis' godmother?" Matt asked trying to point out the flaws in his aunt's argument."
"Because Jordan is no idiot and she knew better. Trust me, I was expecting her to hate me, but mutual grief can bring two people together. She was my rock, and it stayed that way, even after Alexis came back."
"Why didn't you let the truth come out after Alex came back from the dead?" Matt asked as aunt.
"I wanted to tell Alexis before anyone else found out. Unfortunately, she wasn't taking my calls for reasons I still don't know. I didn't even tell Alexis, Amanda did in a voicemail. I had to go to France to straighten everything out in person." She said as an excuse.
"A likely story." He mumbled under his breath, but he doubted that she heard him. He really didn't believe her excuses for not saying anything to Lexis, but he really didn't have the moral high ground right now. It was best to avoid a conversation about why she didn't tell anybody about her daughter's father for five years.
"As a woman who had to deal with raising her daughter for five years by herself, I can say you are being a complete idiot." His aunt said this in a tone that was the verbal equivalent to being slapped upside the head.
"You weren't there." Matt said defensively.
"No, I wasn't, although Tyler sent me cell phone video of the entire incident. Before you ask, he was filming to use against your mom in a court of law if admissible and the court of public opinion, if not."
"That makes sense." Matt mumbled, even if he was slightly annoyed.
"Just be glad I love you enough not to show that to Daniel and Betty. Instead, I just gave Daniel the outline of what happened and then I had Betty and Daniel call you for your side of the story." His aunt said as if she did him a favor.
"Oh god." Matt said as he put his head in his hands.
"Your mom is so reprehensible there are not words in the English or French languages that aptly describe her. Amanda needed you to take her side and you didn't. That was pretty obvious from the insane message I got on my voice mail alone." Brianna said with a sigh.
"I'm sure in the message she forgot to mention how insane my mother has been about this, oh wait you have the video." Matt spat back.
"She didn't need to. I've spent too much of my life around the bitch. This is what your mom does when she doesn't get her way. I've seen a lot worse. You don't want to know what she did to poor Tiffany years ago." Brianna said in a way that told Matt not to ask any more questions about that.
"She's never hated one of my girlfriends like this before. She was mean to Betty but..." Matt trailed off not knowing how to finish that statement.
"She's been mean to all of your girlfriends who have not been light and bright with a trust fund. She probably only became tolerable to Betty once she realized that things were not going to work out." His aunt finished for him. Matt knew this all too well, but he never really acknowledged it.
"Even though she doesn't have a trust fund, she does meet my mom's other criteria for the mother of her grandchildren." Matt told his aunt.
"Not really. Faye was Puerto Rican and Spencer is Jewish in addition to being gay. Also, her adoptive parents are swingers, and for reasons you don't want to know about, most of the Upper East Side knows this."
"I was aware of the last part already, unfortunately."
"Then again, Victoria could just be upset that Amanda is pregnant without a ring, but I doubt that. It probably has something to do with Amanda's biological mother or rather who she did." Aunt Briana probably thought she was being cryptic with what she said, but Matt's mind went to a very bad place very quickly.
"Dad slept with Faye?" Matt asked her in gaping mouth shock, 2 seconds from dropping his phone on the floor.
"I didn't tell you that." His aunt backpedaled. That tells him that he guessed right. Oh god.
"You might as well say yes. My dad slept with my girlfriend's biological mother. That is just wrong on so many levels. Please tell me I don't share any half-siblings with Amanda anywhere. I don't think I can take finding out about any more secret siblings. Tyler is enough for one lifetime."
"I don't think you have to worry about Faye having any more children, but your father does have a latex allergy. Who knows? Rumor has it that Faye couldn't have more children by that point. My personal theory was she was using Bradford's old rival to get him to leave Claire. It didn't work." That explanation just made him feel dirtier.
"Obviously. I still have the urge to throw up. That does explain why my mom is so upset. She could never get passed something like that." Matt said quietly, still trying to digest everything.
"Your mom is crazy. She doesn't need an excuse to be angry. I personally didn't think she would get lawyers involved for at least another two months. I thought that would be your father, but he's handling this better than I thought he would. Apparently, it's just his natural reaction to suggest an abortion." Brianna said darkly.
"My brother has issues, but he is actually dealing with this better than your mom anyway. I think he is warming up to the idea of being a grandfather. He asked me for a copy of the sonogram. By the way, I need the latest version. Am I designing cute little dresses for my baby grandniece, or adorable pantsuits for my grandnephew? God, I'm too young to have a great anything. " His aunt said with a sigh.
"Blame grandpa for having kids in his sixties. I've always thought of you as more of a sister. Dad practically raised you after grandpa died. Fortunately, you will not have to choose what you design." Matt told his aunt with a mix of excitement and fear.
"Okay you're either raising a genderless child or Amanda is having twins?" His Aunt asked half joking.
"One of each. However, the mere thought of the genderless child would probably kill mom which may be a good thing." Matt said sardonically.
"Okay that explains the freaking out. How come that wasn't picked up during the last ultrasound?" His aunt asked the question that he has been thinking about since he found out about the twins.
"I wasn't there for the first ultrasound, so I don't know. The doctor says it happens sometimes, but she really didn't provide a reason. She seemed just as shocked as everyone else when she picked up a second heartbeat. I didn't have time to ask because Amanda was too busy alternating between bursting into tears and throwing cotton balls at me. It does explain why Amanda is a bit bigger than she should be. I'm freaking out more over the fact that my father had sex with my girlfriend's mom. I think this is absolute proof that sex addiction is genetic." Matt added.
"Faye was not Amanda's mom; she was the egg donor who gave her up because she didn't fit with her plans. Amanda feels like you are doing the same thing with her because she doesn't fit your plans." Matt never thought of it that way, but his aunt had a point.
"I'm not abandoning her." Matt stated unsure of what to say.
"You need to let her know that, not me. It's getting unbelievably late here, and I need to put Alexis to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow." His aunt said as an excuse. Matt wondered which Alexis she was planning to put to bed but did not ask. Again, he really didn't want to know if his aunt was 'special friends' with Alexis again.
"OK." Matt said as he hung up grateful that that conversation was over. He thought about trying to head over to the apartment again to get Amanda to talk to him but decided against it. He needed sleep. Hopefully things will be better in the morning.
Things were not better in the morning. Amanda threw a shoe at him when he tried to get close enough to apologize with the Tiffany engagement ring. Amanda also flipped him off just before throwing up on his shoes. Matt didn't say anything because even he felt he deserved that.
After changing shoes, Matt checked his email which was a mistake. No condescending emails from the aunt, but his mom had had the audacity to send him an e-mail inviting him to brunch Sunday with the daughter of one of her 'friends'. By friend, Matt means self-absorbed wealthy old money socialite who only spends time with Matt's mother for the sake of her own social standing. This was his mother's "subtle" way of trying to set him up with a much more "suitable" girlfriend of the country club set. Really, he shouldn't be surprised. She did the exact same thing the night after she met Betty for the first time.
Matt was pissed by this point and therefore called his mother to inform her that if things did not work out with Amanda he was sticking to men from now on. Maybe Matt should have just told his mother to go fuck herself instead. She may have received that better. Okay, maybe he should just send an email but he was too upset after spending the night sleeping alone after his really complicated phone call with his aunt.
"I'm not joking. This is not a phase or my attempt at trying to freak you out." He yelled into the phone after his mom tried to dismiss him with something obviously homophobic. "It's not one of my many experiments to find myself. I know who I am."
"Obviously, it is an experiment if I never knew about it until you started shacking up with the spawn of Somers."
"Oh, come on mother, you didn't know about it because you didn't want to know. I'm a recovering sex addict who allegedly slept with half of Manhattan. Guess what? It wasn't just the female half. If you actually paid attention to my life, you probably would have figured that out by now."
"I know you better than your father," his mother shot back.
"Not really. Dad has known about it since I was 18 and he caught me making out with his then assistant Mason." Matt practically screamed at her.
"If it didn't happen in his office, he was completely unaware of it. This is the first time you have ever said anything to me. If you think this is going to convince me to accept that girl who is nothing more than an opportunistic slut, then you obviously don't know me." Matt just rolled his eyes at her comment.
"Oh, I know you really well. You don't know anything about the type of person Amanda is because of your own bigotry. Do you instantly hate her because she's of Jewish and Puerto Rican ancestry, or simply because she didn't grow up on the Upper East Side?"
"She's not one of us." His mother replied.
"Thank God. Do you have any idea how big of a bigot you truly are?" He asked furiously. I never said anything to you about not being 100% heterosexual because of the nasty things you have said about Aunt Brianna over the years."
That was only part of the reason he never told his mom before this moment. Hearing all the nasty things his mom said about his pansexual aunt did not make telling her any easier. He told himself in the past he didn't want to hurt her, now Matt thinks the opposite is true. He was waiting for the perfect moment to cause as much pain as possible. This was that moment.
"I've said a lot of nasty things about your aunt over the years. You need to be more specific. Although, I assumed you are referring to what I said about her last girlfriend or maybe her special relationship with Claire's surgically created daughter." So apparently his mom was also back. That's just lovely.
"I should have known the brat was hers. I don't hate Brianna because she's a lesbian." You refuse to acknowledge that she's pansexual so I'm going to go with yes, Matt thinks to himself.
"I hate her because she is her." Yeah, right.
"I said those things because I hate your aunt. I'm not homophobic. I have lots of gay friends like Amanda's real father or Carlo. However, no son of mine will be gay. I want grandchildren that are really mine and not from some third world country."
Okay. His mom is definitely racist. He was also halfway tempted to mention that Marc had a biological kid and was like a Kinsey five, but kept his mouth shut. He may be annoyed with Marc, but his daughter didn't deserve to have her dirty laundry aired so publicly. His mom would totally use something like that against Amanda's friend for manipulation purposes.
"Could you imagine people like that in this family? You like sports and you have no idea how to dress yourself even though you have a so-called fashion designer for an aunt." Matt actually laughed at that. She was just digging the hole deeper. He expected her to hit China any moment.
"Only you would consider your hairstylist who you barely talk to as a friend. By the way, he is married to a woman and has three daughters. He is just good with hair and likes wearing pink. I also don't believe you can count someone as a friend if you're blackmailing him. It's only working because he actually cares about a child he just met more than you ever cared about me. Don't worry about the grandkids thing. There's a 99.9% chance you already have one." Matt spat out bitterly.
"God, I hope not." He heard his mother mumble.
"I will never be who you want me to be. Stop trying to control my life. It took me awhile, but I have learned that I must do things my way. By the way, my best friend from high school was my lover off and on for over five years. Did you really think we were studying all the time? If you want grandkids that you may see occasionally, I suggest you pray that Amanda will forgive me." Matt said as he quickly ended the call by throwing his phone against the wall.
This probably wasn't the best way to tell his mom that he was bi, but he wanted revenge after yesterday's stunt. He knew this little piece of information would most likely induce cardiac arrest and that was what he was going for.
Did Matt mention that Claire Meade was in his apartment at that moment laughing hysterically? She was laughing so hard she was about to cry. Matt did the whole thing on speakerphone to get her back on his side. Matt hoped that she would tell Amanda that he defended her to his mother and maybe she would start talking to him again. His head still hurt from the shoe.
Claire was there early that morning to pick up Tyler for the week. He would be spending the next couple of days with Claire. Apparently helping to take care of Amanda yesterday helped improve their relationship enough that he was willing to stay in her house until they all got back from DC. Amanda was going to stay there too, because nobody trusted her to be completely alone right now and she was definitely too ill for the train to DC. Apparently, the stress of yesterday was too much for her.
Maybe when he gets back from DC. Amanda will be calm enough for the two to talk. One could hope.
After hugging his brother goodbye, he hopped in a cab to head over to Monique's thinking that the worst of the day was already over with.
To be continued