Thank you to everybody who read the last chapter. You are all wonderful. We're getting into the very different stuff as we approach the end of the prewritten material. Things might be unrecognizable.

Sorry, I meant to upload this Monday, and I got distracted with work. I didn't remember until Saturday that I never uploaded the chapter. Telework is exhausting. So there will probably be a shorter gap between updates. Would it make you feel better to know I'm working on chapter 42 right now?

Chapter 34: The beauty of letting go

Not for the first time during the ceremony, Matt wonders why he went to Monique's wedding in the first place. It was a fucking disaster, and he's not talking about the ceremony that was miraculously pulled off despite the crazy former significant others.

First, there was the fact that he ended up sitting next to a furious Claire and his brother, who wasn't very happy with him at all. Claire didn't say anything, but Tyler called him a fucking idiot multiple times. Needless to say, they're both on Amanda's side.

Then there's the fact that his wonderful aunt forgot to warn him that his mother already confronted Amanda earlier that day. Much sooner than they thought she would. Matt thought she would wait until Daniel was out of the country again to make it as difficult as possible. Of course, if he paid attention to his little niece, baby Lexis he probably would have figured it out. She did mention something about pre-wedding ice cream with his mom. Because he didn't know, his attempt to talk to Amanda at the reception was doomed from the start.

"Hey, I thought we could talk." He said, spotting Amanda in the corner by herself. Allegedly Marc and his daughter already left due to his ex-boyfriend Troy crashing the wedding earlier.

"You've said enough. The doctor said that stress is not good for our- I'm sorry, my babies and you have brought me nothing but stress. So, could you just leave. I never want to see you again." Amanda told him coldly as she took a sip of her soda.

"You were right the first time. There's still going to be our babies even if they're not biologically my children. I still love you. I want to be with you every step of the way." Matt tried to grab her hand, but she pushed him away.

"That's not what you said last time. Do you really want to be a father?" Amanda asked. "Are you ready for this? Marc found out he had a daughter less than two weeks ago that he conceived during a dubious consent sexual encounter. He has already acted like more of a father than you ever will be."

Instead of answering her right away, he stalled for a moment, thinking about the question. The pause was too much for Amanda.

"That's what I thought. You're only with me because you think you have some responsibility to me. Do you even love me at all?" Amanda asked, as one tear ran down her face.

"Of course, I love you." He said, trying to grab her again, but she just pushed him away once more.

"Why did you go back to Betty in the Bahamas when you knew full well, she was in love with Daniel? If you love me, then why the hell did you leave me here so you could take your soul journey or whatever to Africa? Why did you break up with me as soon as Megan sent you that fake footage of me screwing around with Daniel? Why did you not ask me about it first before you sent me your Dear Amanda letter?" She screamed at him as tears began to fall down harder. He was at a loss. He wasn't sure how to explain what he did.

"You can't even come up with a response, can you?"

"I do love you." He said after a moment.

"Words are empty. I just don't believe you anymore. Part of me thinks you're only with me now because I'm pregnant, and you think the babies are yours." She spat at him bitterly.

"My mother was here." He said it as a phrase, not a question.

"Of course, she's here, she's frienemies with Monique's adopted mother. Vivian had no choice but to invite her." Amanda said, giving him a look as if he was completely crazy.

"No, I meant, did she talk to you about the paternity of the babies?"

"Yes, congratulations, you're not the father. Right now, I think that's a good thing because I don't want to raise my children with a guy that keeps running away," Amanda told him angrily.

"I don't keep running away. I already told you I'm fine with the babies being Daniel's."

"The DNA test says that you're not the babies' father, it didn't say anything about the babies being Daniel's." He was shocked. If Amanda was told that the babies were not his, she would assume that the babies were Daniel's. Unless she slept around with someone else and didn't tell him. He was in another country, so he couldn't entirely blame her, but she acted so offended when he accused her of sleeping with Daniel.

"You did sleep with somebody else after I went to Africa? How could you lie to me?" Amanda instantly became angrier than he has ever seen her. As soon as he saw her, Matt knew that he shouldn't have said what he said, but it was too late.

"This is why I know you don't love me. When I said the same thing to Daniel, he knew I was lying to protect him because he knew me so well. I can't stay here any longer and argue with you about this. It's not good for me, and it's definitely not good for the babies. I'm done, Matt." She said, walking away from him as her tears continued to flow.

"Amanda!" Matt called out as he tried to grab her, but she just pushed him away.

"Just get the fuck away from me. I may love you, but right now, I can't stand you." She punctuated her exit by throwing the necklace that he bought her a few weeks ago back at him.

With that, she was gone.

Amanda was so done with Matt. It was over, and she knew that for sure now. Which is how she ended up crying in the bathroom for the second time that day. Unfortunately, the evil Bitch had to follow behind her.

"I thought I told you to stay away from my son." Victoria Hartley said as soon as she walked into the bathroom.

"I am. I want nothing to do with Matt." Amanda told her sternly as her anger made her tears subside.

"Good, I would hate for those two little babies to become orphans." Some people may see Amanda as being stupid, and considering she thought that Matt was a decent human being, she may be inclined to agree. However, even she could recognize an apparent death threat. Why did this individual hate her so much?

"That wouldn't happen because they have an aunt that loves them," Brianna said, walking into the room.

"Vicky, you should stick to passive threats. Now we know where to look if another Hartley mother ends up at the bottom of a stairwell." She actually smirked at her former sister-in-law.

"I hate when you call me that obnoxious moniker." Mrs. Hartley said in disgust.

"I hate you, so I guess we're even," Brianna responded.

"Is everything okay in here? Daniel wanted to check on you, but he needs to break up a fight between Monique and her sister?" Betty asked, walking in.

"We're fine, just giving my former sister-in-law some fashion pointers. That color is so last season. Just because you will be 70 soon, doesn't mean that you have to dress like it." The designer said with a smirk. Her words were enough to make Victoria leave abruptly.

"It's okay, the evil which is gone now. I won't let Vicki come near you again." Brianna quickly wrapped an arm around her.

"I don't know why she hates me so much," Amanda said as tears returned once more.

"Because unlike her and the rest of her tennis club, you actually have a heart," Brianna said with bitterness.

"Matt loves you," Betty added cheerily.

"My former sister-in-law does not enjoy competing for affection," Brianna interjected.

"No, Matt doesn't. He left me for you in the Bahamas even when he was fully aware you were in love with someone else." She explained, looking directly at Betty. "He left me for Africa even though he knew I loved him. Matt believed that I screwed around with someone else when Daniel automatically knew I was lying because I care about him too much to mess up his relationship with you. I would say that I love Daniel like a brother, but that would be a little incestuous because we slept together."

"No worse than anything else that goes on in this family. Tyler is Alexis Junior's uncle and cousin. Matt does love you; he just doesn't know how to show it." His aunt said weakly in his defense. Amanda just looked at her with eyes filled with tears.

"Regardless, I don't think you should stay in Manhattan. I don't trust Victoria." Brianna said, and Betty nodded her head in agreement.

"She wants me to stay away from Matt, and I'm going to. She doesn't want me to have her grandchildren, so I'm not." Amanda retorted, wiping away her tears. She was so sick of crying over Matt.

"Actually," Betty started to say something, but she shut up quickly with a glare from Brianna.

"Unfortunately, I know my nephew, and he will not stay away from you. Especially if you both work for Mead publications."

"Shit. We are supposed to plan the relaunch of the black and white ball together. I can't do that with him I just can't." Amanda lamented. She didn't necessarily need the money now that she had the newly infused trust fund From Faye, but she liked her job. Amanda was good at it. Okay, she was better at it now that she was mostly doing the parts of it she liked. Keeping a schedule was always tedious, even if it's for other people.

"Maybe it's best if you just get away from New York for a while. Come to London." Brianna suggested. "As I said earlier, I can definitely get you into that program. I may have sent an email this afternoon, and they're interested in you."

"You should come to London," Betty added excitedly.

"I don't want to impose, especially on you and Daniel."

"I want you there. Honestly, I hate every part of it, but the actual doing my job stuff. I have no friends. Everybody at work believes I got ahead by sleeping with my former boss. That makes launching a new magazine difficult. I may be just a little lonely." Betty tells her.

"Wasn't that your first year at Mode?" Amanda asked, still crying. "If you survived us being awful to you, then you'll be okay." Amanda completely realizes that they were awful to Betty. But they were friends now, so it was okay. Things are different now.

"But at least I had Christina. Also, most people did not believe that I got my job by sleeping with Daniel." Amanda started to say something about how most people at Mode thought that too eventually but thought better of it. No use bringing that up right now.

"Doesn't DJ work with you?" She asked, instead.

"Yeah, but there are some things you can't tell your fiancé's nephew. Also, I need help planning the wedding. You did a good job for Gio. Candy told me how much you did to help save things. All things considered, it really was a beautiful ceremony." Betty said, smiling, and unfortunately, without the braces, it was harder to resist.

"I don't want this to become Charlie part two."

"It can't become Charlie part two because you don't actually want to break us up," Betty tells her now with an arm wrapped around her.

"This is true. I spent too much energy, getting you two together to break you up. Although I do regret sleeping with Daniel to keep him from rebounding with some random slut." Because she wouldn't be pregnant right now. Although then she wouldn't have her beautiful babies, so maybe she doesn't regret it that much. She just regrets the situation she's in now.

"We all take one for the team sometimes," Brianna remarked.

"I don't regret it," Betty tells her. "I'm looking forward to being Aunt Betty or whatever role you want me to have. These last few weeks with DJ have shown me that I can do the mom thing and do the work thing."

"If Jade can have two daddies, then my kids can have two mommies and a daddy Daniel." And she could have that if she moved to London. Because Matt was never going to be a dad even if the babies were his. He wasn't ready, but Daniel was. And she's starting to think maybe Betty was too."

"Does that mean that you will come to London with us?" Betty asked.

"Yes," Amanda finally said with resignation as she was pulled out of the bathroom. Being a mom means making the tough choices, and Amanda knows deep in her heart that she can't stay in New York. Marc was going to be furious with her, but maybe because he now had Jade, he would get it.

"How about If Betty takes you home and you guys can talk logistics on the way there?" Brianna suggested. "I'll send Daniel your way in a little bit."

"Maybe you can come up with Justin when he leaves for his internship in two weeks?" Betty suggested. That would give her time to get Marc acclimated to the ideal. It would also give her time to spoil baby Jade a little bit. She didn't get enough time to spend with her goddaughter today.

"That would be good. I don't think I want to be here anymore." She really didn't. Amanda was exhausted; she just wanted to go home.

Number One Mistake: Did you get the flowers that I sent?

Candy: Yes, and I promptly gave them to Monique to use as her bouquet. I'm sure you're well aware of her wedding going up in flames this morning. Also, shouldn't you be asleep right now? It's after midnight in London.

Number one mistake: Yes, along with a last-minute wedding at the mode offices. I saw pictures on twitter because I follow Cliff. I couldn't sleep, so I thought I would troll twitter for a while. I thought those flowers looked familiar, and I decided to text. The florist did send me a picture of the bouquet.

Candy: You and Cliff are twitter friends?

Number one mistake: We work in the same circles, so it's not that surprising. I like his work. His work usually is good, but you make it better.

Number one mistake: I'm glad you did something other than throwing the flowers in the trash.

Candy: I'm not going to have sex with you again.

Number one mistake: Okay, but what are your opinions on dinner? You have to eat. What about next weekend. I'm sure you'll be recovered from your New York adventure by then.

Candy: But not necessarily with you. Find someone else.

Number one mistake: But no one else has your charm.

Candy: I have no desire to be another notch on your bedpost.

Candy: Again.

Number one mistake: Would it make you feel better that you were the first notch in like a year? The breakup with my last girlfriend was a disaster. I needed recovery time. It's why I spent so much time in the middle of nowhere recently. Never date a British model.

Candy: I'll try to remember that. You had a girlfriend? I didn't think you did anything but one night stands.

Number one mistake: I'm not who you think I am.

Candy: So, you didn't use to bet Daniel a dollar to see who can fuck the hottest model at fashion week. That always made the rounds in Player.

Number one mistake: If Daniel can change, then I can change too.

Number one mistake: I like you and not because of that thing you do with your tongue. Which was brilliant, by the way.

Number one mistake: You are ridiculously smart and funny. I also feel like you're 30 seconds from smacking Daniel upside the head at any given moment. I like that because as somebody that has known Daniel since college, he needs people around him that will smack him upside the head.

Candy: Not Daniel right now but possibly his girlfriend. She just sent me a text. I just found out I now need to switch my plane ticket for something leaving tomorrow and get an extra. Also, I have to leave the wedding now to go to Chelsea.

Number one mistake: That makes sense. With the magazine falling apart, it would probably be better to get back as soon as possible. Is he at least paying for it? Also, I thought Chelsea was pretty close to the Mode offices.

Candy: Yes, and yes. Although I wasn't paying for it in the first place. Monique was. It is a little difficult to afford a trans-Atlantic trip on an assistant's salary.

Number one mistake: I imagine it would be expensive. Let me know when you get back. I can get you from the airport.

Candy: That's okay. I'll make Daniel pay for a town car. He so owes me right now.

Number one mistake: I'm sure you'll be compensated greatly.

Candy: There's not enough money for this. I'm also getting a new roommate. Granted, I was living in some London townhouse for free, but still, roommates are weird.

Number one mistake: As somebody who's living in a shoebox right now because London is so expensive, I would deal with a roommate to live where you're living. It's a really lovely place.

Candy: You're right; it is worth it. Any tips on how to get Amanda to stop crying?

Number one mistake: I'm going to need a little more information. Although it is nice to hear from you again after an hour. It's late here, but I'll listen to you any time.

Candy: Do you know Amanda Tannen now Amanda Summers Tannen? She is a friend of Daniel's. Used to be the Mode receptionist and is now one of the style people there.

Number one mistake: Very well. I would go with chocolate or liquor. Is she why you had to go to Chelsea? I know she has an apartment there.

Candy: At least you didn't say biblically well. We're going with chocolate because Amanda has stopped drinking.

Candy: Yep. Apparently, babysitting Daniel's friend is in my job description. Especially when they're also Monique's friend.

Number one mistake: Once but then I realize she was in love with Daniel and you don't sleep with people who are in love with your best friend. We're friends now. We email each other occasionally. Just last week she was telling me about her boyfriend drama which may explain the crying right now.

Number one mistake: And hey at least you're not dealing with Daniel's special friends from the player days. Be glad he's engaged to Betty now.

Number one mistake: I forgot she mentioned that she was now attending AA meetings in her last email. Good for her. I was worried about her tells of blackout drinking.

Candy: You mean that?

Number one mistake: Yes.

Candy: Then you can pick me up from the airport tomorrow. I'll text you as soon as I get the tickets with the pickup time.

Number one mistake: Good, I'll be there. I'll even bring chocolate.

Candy: Also, chocolate did not work, but pickled flavored potato chips did. Do they have pickled flavored potato chips in London?

Number one mistake: I have no idea.

Candy: We will pick some more up on the way to the airport. After we finish packing.

Number one mistake: I would like to ask who "we" is, but I have a feeling it's Amanda. Why is Amanda coming with you to London?

Candy: Hey, were going to get there around 3 PM local time.

Number one mistake: You must be leaving soon.

Candy: We're already on our way to the airport. Will you be there?

Number one mistake: Yes. I'll see you then. You must've just killed Daniel's credit card.

Candy: I so did. We had to get first-class because they were the only seats available. I don't care. He deserves it so much right now. I deserve triple overtime for getting cried on because, unfortunately, the chips have worn off.

Number one mistake: Try playing the Backstreet Boys. They are Amanda's happy music.

Candy: Working on it. We will see you later.