Thank you to everyone who read or reviewed the last chapter; you are also wonderful. Let's look at London from the Amanda perspective for a moment. How is she doing right now? Has she figured out Daniel's not the daddy yet? We shall see.
All timestamps are EDT.
Chapter 39: XOXO love, Mandy
From: Mandy_cakes
To: Monique at home
Time sent: 6/15/2010 06:21:12
Subject: Really, I'm okay.
Hey, Monique, it's me, Amanda. I know that Daniel told you that I'm okay and safe. I am. I just need a few days to get used to everything. Also, throw my phone out a window Sunday. I need a new one anyway, being in another country. Becks is going to take me shopping after work.
How is everybody? How is Marc? He wrote to me, but I'm not ready to write back. Does he hate me for leaving him?
XXXX
From: Monique at home
To: Mandy_cakes
Time sent: 6/15/2010 8:21:12
Subject: I'm glad you're okay
No, Marc doesn't hate you. I think he gets it because he has Jade. You have to put kids first, and it isn't good for you to stay here, especially with Matt's mom. You should know that Victoria is harassing Tiffany. I had to offer to get her private security just for her to keep Austin in the program. I think Victoria said something to her, but Tiffany won't confirm or deny. I'm going to need so much security.
Marc is getting a bodyguard. I think I have a handle on the Troy situation, or at least my mom does. I believe we are paying for a month-long stay at mental health rehab. I'm not entirely sure. I've learned not to ask too many questions when my mom does something a little off the books.
I heard what Matt said to you at the wedding. Tamika was nearby, and she saw everything. You can do so much better. Don't worry about him. I will have my revenge.
Surprisingly enough, he's sticking around Mode. I have no idea why. Although Brianna thinks it's a good idea, so I'm going to defer to her. We're currently trying to deal with the Jody situation.
Jody really managed to piss off Willamina. The gloves are definitely off. Although this does give me a chance to maybe get more favorable custody terms for Marc. She doesn't trust him because of the Cliff fallout. Okay, she doesn't trust him because the Cliff thing fell apart due to abandonment and Marc's insecurities. The problem is you can't run away from your kids. Well, you can, but you shouldn't. Jody wants a backup plan.
No, Marc does not hate you at all. I think he will feel better to hear from you. I won't mention that you've emailed me if you don't want me to. Anyway, good to hear from you.
Oh, before I go, I am not going to be a grandmother. Antonella is not pregnant, thankfully. We have another appointment to triple check-in 40 minutes. It's for the best because we have a bunch of other stuff to deal with right now. Therefore, it's the wrong time for a baby. Especially because Antonella is so young, and the other DNA contributor was an asshole. My mom is looking into legal and not so legal remedies for the situation. This is probably going to go the country club justice route.
At the same time, maybe, there was a part of me looking forward to a baby to take care of. After we found out there wasn't actually a baby, Antonella told us that she was playing to let Gio and me raise the baby as our child. I love babies. I just can't have any. So my emotions are a little all over the place right now.
At least I'll have baby Jade to play with. Such a sweetie pie. There is also my new sibling through Brittany, just two more months to go.
XXX From: Mandy_cakes
To: Monique at home
Time sent: 6/15/2010 06:21:12
Subject: You get to be an aunt anyway.
I'm sorry. I think you a great mom, even if it's just to Antonella right now. You should talk to my mom and dad. They dealt with similar infertility issues. They were also good parents even if I'm not biologically their child. Maybe they can help you explore adoption. There are a lot of kids in the world that need parents, especially older kids. You can use Jade and the twins for baby cuddles in the meantime. I expect you to come to London a lot.
BTW, my parents know where I am. Daniel made me call. He knows how protective they are of me.
I prefer that you not tell Marc that I emailed you first. I think he would get upset. He is my best friend. I'm sure he feels that I should email him first, but that's why I can't. Not right now. I still need to work some stuff out.
I worked with the lawyers I met with Jody's lawyers before Marc even knew about Jade. I know what she told the lawyers, and I know what she's worried about. She shouldn't be. Marc was already planning to help me raise my babies before he knew about Jade. He was in pure uncle mode already. Marc had his own stack of parenting books, which is going to come in handy right now. I also left him some of my newborn stuff. Betty said Daniel had duplicates already waiting for me.
It's weird Daniel and Marc were already getting ready to help, but Matt was never really there. Maybe I should have realized then that things were going to go the way that they did.
Maybe I don't want to talk to Marc because he's going to say I told you so. He never really liked Matt because Marc never trusted him. Marc is good at picking up on that stuff, usually or at least in my boyfriends. Not so good with himself as Troy will tell us. I am glad your mom is helping with that.
I think Marc will do fine, and Jody has no reason to worry about it. Also, Cliff is going to be there. If she's so worried about Marc taking care of Jade alone, she should just give Cliff permanent custody. That way, the two can raise beautiful babies together. I think they would make an adorable family.
At least Cliff cares about Jade even though he knows that he is not her biological parent, unlike some recent ex-boyfriends of mine. I know I was mean to Cliff while they were dating. In hindsight, I was a little jealous of the relationship. I regret that because really Marc could never have done better. How's the Marc and Cliff conspiracy group going, or are you backing off because of all the Jade stuff?
Everything's good here in London. I'm going furniture shopping for the munchkin wing this weekend. Your aunt's house is humongous but no baby furniture. Daniel wants a nursery at both places. Betty wants to do a Little Mermaid theme.
Help!
XXX
From: Monique at home
To: Mandy_cakes
Time sent: 6/18/2010 19:56:32
Subject: I am sending you all the Princess blankets.
I'm happy to know that your parents know where you are. I heard from Matt that they are really that protective. Apparently, if he doesn't back off, your dad will set the whole IRS on the family. I don't think that's an idle threat. If Matt's dad is anything like my dad, there are probably many financial skeletons in that closet.
I am not that surprised about the love of Disney. Your kid will have so much Disney merchandise, and only some of it will be from me. Also, expect trips. It probably doesn't take that long to get to Disney Paris.
Sorry it took me a few days to write you back. Work is crazy, and I had some other stuff to work out. Last time I mentioned Antonella's doctor's appointment Tuesday morning. Antonella is 100% not pregnant. We did an ultrasound just to be sure. They also don't think cancer is the cause of the false positive pregnancy test. Thank God because I can't deal with cancer again right now. It's barely been a year since Molly died. The current consensus is the situation might be psychological, so I'm looking for specialists, and that's taking a while.
I also had a meeting with Jody's lawyers Wednesday. I think I might be able to help in the custody standoff and maybe do something good for the conspiracy group. Your idea was brilliant, by the way. I might be able to get all parties to agree to it.
We're still actively working on getting those two to realize how much they need each other. Although it might be more of a family thing now than a romantic thing. That's okay because families come in different styles and shapes. I'll let them be whatever they want to be as long as they're together.
I'm glad you're adapting. Have you got your new phone yet? I would love to hear from you. I also promise that Matt won't find out your number. He's been asking about you. He is concerned, but I told him to back off. I also enlisted his aunt. Although I'm sure, the threat of an IRS audit should be sufficient.
One more thing, I don't know if Marc emailed you, but because of the fight Sunday, you and Marc were evicted. Don't worry, I'm forcing Matt to pay for storage. It's the least he can do for you. But is there anything that you need us to send you? Or we could send some stuff with Justin? He's leaving in a week and a half. Hilda is still a little afraid to send him on a flight by himself, but I reassured her that me and Marcedes did this all the time as kids. Honestly, I think it's safer to travel as an unaccompanied minor. Besides, Justin is almost 16.
I've been invited to a packing party Saturday. Antonella is coming with me because she needs to do some hard labor. We are still trying to work out if there should be a punishment for having sex with someone when you're not ready. I don't want to punish her for getting manipulated or for even having sex. But I also don't want to feel like I'm rewarding her. I also want her to trust us and feel like she can come to us when she's having problems. Being a parent is hard.
We're still planning for her to do modified homeschooling next semester. I think it just makes more sense for her and Justin to work with a tutor and then work at Mode three days a week instead of doing regular high school. Both were board there anyway. Yes, Justin will be missing prom, but he'll be doing the Black and White Ball. Plus, we are cool with him making out with his boyfriend on the dance floor. His old school in Queens school not so much.
That place was awful for bullying. I know you know about the homecoming queen incident the year before, and Justin wasn't even out as bi yet. Since everybody was calling Antonella a slut for the last few weeks of school anyway, I think she's not in a hurry to go back. Even if it would be a different school here in the city. That's what I did for high school, and I am perfectly well-adjusted.
Now I have to convince Tiffany to let Austin join them. I'm sure I'll figure it out. Suggestions appreciated.
X XX
From: Mandy_cakes
To: Monique at home
Time sent: 6/19/2010 02:21:12
Subject: Really, I'm okay.
Don't worry about trying to send things to me. I actually talk to Justin through DJ's phone. I sent him a couple of text messages asking for specific things Wednesday morning. He promises not to tell Matt or Marc where I am, although he really does want me to tell Marc sooner rather than later. He doesn't like keeping secrets from one of his best friends.
I'm glad at least Justin isn't mad at me for getting pregnant by his uncle. He's actually looking forward to it. At least this way, I know my babies will be well dressed.
I found out about the eviction because Matt's lease is actually in Betty's name, and the landlord called her. In the middle of the night our time. She was not happy.
It's been okay here in London. I've been busy adapting to London, and I haven't really been alone. Becks has come over a lot to help me settle into my new place, including going shopping for the new phone. Although I think he's really there because he has a little bit of a crush on Candy. But it's been nice to have a friend, especially a friend with a small child.
Next week is going to be Becks' first week with her. He's kind of terrified, but I said I would come to help. I think it would be good practice. Also, it will get me away from the Meade drama.
The press has been a little vicious, and I think it's a small miracle that they haven't spotted me here yet.
Maybe it's good that I'm staying here and Betty and Daniel have been coming to see me. We actually had to cancel the furniture shopping. Fingers crossed for some sort of scandal. Maybe by the time Justin gets here, it will be okay to be seen in public together.
If Marc wasn't so busy, I would say send him to talk to Austin's mom. Although you could always have my dad send her a financial analysis of Austin doing this instead of traditional high school. That could work.
XXXX
From: Monique at home
To: Mandy_cakes
Time sent: 6/20/2010 06:21:12
Subject: I will take your ideas under advisement
Sorry, you had to cancel the furniture shopping trip. But it's probably better to wait until Justin gets there because he has the best sense of style. Justin also has the best strategy to avoid your children's bedroom from becoming overly Disney.
It's probably for the best the paparazzi don't know where you are yet. I know you want a few more weeks of peace and quiet to adjust to the new situation.
I doubt people will go looking for you in London. I may have used Byron to put out a couple of rumors. Faye had a house in Puerto Rico. I may have implied that you're going there. Byron did the work. He only has two more months on his Suzuki contract before switching to the morning show, where he'll get to be himself.
I think the house went to one of your cousins. I can look into that if you want? Are you interested in meeting more of your family on her side?
Packing went well Saturday. I successfully kept Marc distracted. Cliff had to bring Jade over to Jody for the day. She's not going to take her back till Wednesday, at least, that's what I'm trying to work out. I don't know if Marc will take the deal a.k.a. your brilliant proposal to make Cliff another co-parent. I hope he does. Cliff is willing to be Jade's other daddy if Marc agrees. He loves Jade.
But Cliff wants Marc to make this decision on his own, which is why he didn't tell Marc that if he doesn't take the deal, Jade goes to some distant evil cousin. I'm not allowed to say anything.
Now that you have been in London for almost a week, do you have any long-term plans? Are you going to work for Daniel full time, or are you going to do that workshop that Bri offered? Or maybe you're just going to spend a lot of time resting. That's an option now with the trust fund. You should do whatever is best for you. I could also send you some remote writing work.
Thank you for finishing up your other projects, included in doing a farewell blog. I hope you're okay with Justin taking over. I think he's the best choice.
XXX
From: Mandy_cakes
To: Monique at home
Time sent: 6/21/2010 12:21:12
Subject: I'm still figuring things out
No problem. I know I left suddenly, and I didn't want you to have to turn over my unfinished projects to someone else. Justin would be my choice to take over the blog too. I trust him.
Although, I'm officially no longer a Meade publications employee as of this morning. I'm actually working for Betty. We're all 100% sure that Betty only got the magazine offer so that she would leave Daniel, making Mode more vulnerable to the Isabella take over. Of course, they didn't expect Daniel to move to London and put you in charge of Mode. They are not happy about that.
Yesterday, Betty's boss just moved her assistant Betsy to a different magazine. If Betsy was in such a sweetheart, Betty wouldn't have found out until this morning.
According to Betty, Betsy was terrific for the first week and made her life so much easier. Then Duncan met her Friday and decided that she would be a better fit for his fashion magazine. Late Sunday night, he offered Betsy an actual writing position. Betsy couldn't say no because she wanted to be a writer, not just an admin assistant. Betty, being Betty, told Betsy that she just had to take the new job, and there were no hard feelings at all. Betty even sent her a congratulations cake.
I am Betty's temporary assistant until she can hire someone else. I'm okay with that; I actually volunteered. I don't like scheduling, but I enjoy helping Betty. This is something I feel like I need to do.
Betty has been terrific about her fiancé getting me pregnant. She wants to go to the doctor's appointment on the 30th. She's been helping me pick out baby furniture online, of course. It's kind of like having a sister, which is good with Marc being gone.
I was afraid it would all turn into Charlie Part 2, but it's not like that. It feels like Daniel and I have another member of our team. That feels good. I was afraid I would have to do this alone, but now I have two other people in this with me. I was so scared before, but I'm not as much anymore.
They're just so protective of me. Daniel has gone through Candy's kitchen twice to make sure the fridge has nothing terrible for the baby. He's also been coming over to the office to bring snacks, which wouldn't necessarily be bad if people weren't so gossipy. I'm surprised nobody from the office has sold our picture to the tabloids yet.
XXXX
From: Monique at home
To: Mandy_cakes
Time sent: 6/21/2010 21:32:12
Subject: Congratulations on your new job.
I don't think it would be possible for this to turn into Charlie Part 2 because you don't want to actually break up Betty and Daniel. Not only because of your friendship with Betty, but I know you were invested in them getting together. Evidently, this is why you had sex with Daniel in the Bahamas. Due to this, you will do what you can to make sure their relationship stays healthy. At the same time, you are building your own relationship with Betty and Daniel in the way that you want. I think that's a good thing.
So Cliff says that Marc is still ambivalent about the proposal, and he is worried. I told Cliff that he needs to tell Marc about the evil cousin. However, Cliff still doesn't want to tell Marc because he doesn't want to push him.
I know I don't want to force you to email Marc too soon, but for your goddaughter, you might need to give him a little push in the right direction. Jade can't go to the evil cousin. That is not happening on my watch.
XXXX
From: Mandy_cakes
To: Monique at home
Time sent: 6/22/2010 02:11:12
Subject: I don't think you need to be worried
So good news, I woke up this morning to an email from both you and Marc. He is definitely leaning towards taking the deal, but he is still petrified of his feelings for Cliff. I don't think you have to be worried about Jade ending up with the evil cousin. Marc will do the right thing in the end. He said so.
He's terrified of co-parenting with Cliff but really wants my reassurance. I tried writing to him, and I threw up again. I've tried a few times, and I get nauseous every time I try.
XXX
From: Monique at home
To: Mandy_cakes
Time sent: 6/22/2010 06:21:12
Subject: You don't need to be scared of Marc
I know you're afraid because you had to disappear in the middle of the night. But remember, Marc is your best friend. He's not going to be angry or yelling at you. But if you need some time, maybe talk to Cliff. Or at least let me know if I can tell Marc that you've been in contact. I think that would put his mind at ease a little if he knows you're talking to somebody in New York. I know he knows you're in London because Hilda is very talkative after a few glasses of the good wine.
XXX
From: Mandy_cakes
To: Monique at home
Time sent: 6/23/2010 00:55:12
Subject: I miss good wine
I know. Marc went to talk to her about what he should do regarding custody of Jade, and they ended up talking about me. I don't get why she's mad at Daniel at all. Seriously, Betty was with Matt when I slept with Daniel.
Don't tell Marc yet. I'm going to try again to write to him. Although if I don't write to him by next Monday, you can tell him. Besides, I'm sure he'll see me in pictures from Justin, so it will be way too late by that point. You know Justin likes to take photos of everything. At least he knows better than to put it all on Twitter. I'm going to write Cliff. Wish me luck
Also, I just sent you a text from the new phone. Sorry, I forgot to do that last week, but you now have my number. Feel free to text or call at any time, although please be mindful of the time difference. I'm still not used to it yet.
XXXX
From: Mandy_cakes
To: Images_by_St._Paul
Time sent: 6/23/2010 01:34:21
Subject: Thank you for taking care of Marc and Jade
Thank you for taking care of Marc and Jade while I'm gone. I'm sorry I left in the middle of the night with just the letter. That wasn't what I was planning. I was going to leave with Justin, so he wouldn't have to fly to London alone. But then I got another letter from Matt's mom, and we decided to speed things up.
Although I heard Hilda kind of hates me right now, maybe it's for the best that I left early. Marc kind of confirmed that with his last letter as well.
How is he really doing? I know he's excited about Jade but really scared. He's saying a lot in these emails probably because he doesn't think I'm reading them, but I am. I'm just not in a place to talk to him yet.
He was so right about Matt, and I don't want to hear that from him right now. I'm well aware that it was a mistake. But it's over now, and I'm done with him for good. At least I was fortunate enough not to get connected to him for the rest of my life. That's one of the good things about Daniel being the father of my children. I'm actually okay being connected to Betty and Daniel for the rest of my life.
Speaking of lifelong commitments, I heard you might be co-parents with Marc. I'm happy about that. No, I don't think it's right that Jody is dangling his access to Jade like this. It makes me quite angry, actually. She better be glad that I'm really pregnant and in London. I know that Marc knows where I am because of Hilda, so I have no trouble confirming it now.
I'm glad you're willing to step up and be there for Marc because he needs her. He needs love, especially of the unconditional type. Marc also needs people that care about him and will not abandon him. Did he ever tell you about his mom and dad? They're just awful. He deserves better.
I'm going to cry again. I feel so bad about leaving, which is why I haven't actually successfully replied yet. Every time I try to write a response to Marc, I started to cry or throw up. Sometimes this happens simultaneously. I know he understands because apparently I threw the note from Matt's mom in the trash, and he found it. I can't help but feel like maybe hates me a little bit.
I'm going to text Marc soon, hopefully. Maybe in a couple of days, when I am feeling up to it emotionally. Everything has been a lot. But just so you know, I do support the two of you being co-parents. If I can't be there to help him figure things out, I'm glad you are.
But you should know he still loves you, maybe even more now because you're willing to do this so he can be with his daughter. So just realize that going in that this is going to be a commitment to both Jade and Marc. Unlike a certain ex-boyfriend of mine, I know that you can and will do this.
But how do you feel about Marc? Do you have feelings for him that are more than just platonic? Or is it more complicated than that? I just don't want Marc to agree to this and then have to deal with your hot boyfriend. Because I think that would crush him. You know he still loves you. I don't think he ever stopped. Seeing you with someone else constantly will break his heart. Unless you end up with a Betty. I still can't believe she's so okay with this. But there's not that many Betty's in the universe.
Xxx
From:
Images_by_St._Paul
To: Mandy_cakes
Time sent: 6/23/2010 10:45:21
Subject: Re: Thank you for taking care of Marc and Jade
I am delighted to hear from you. We've all been worried, but it's good to know that you're doing okay in London. It's probably best that you weren't here. Matt's mom showed up Saturday during the moving party. Or at least that's what Marc told me. I don't have details because I was with Jody. Apparently, she didn't arrive until after Monique left.
Jade is with Jody right now until Saturday. Then we're going to alternate weeks until sentencing. Things will probably go faster than usual because Jody is cooperating and a lot of influential people like Marc. Monica's mom is even involved.
Although she's mostly been focusing on Troy. The good news, he's in mental health rehab. Bad news, he's probably the real reason why all of you were evicted. Troy spray painting the building was a bridge too far.
It's weird being here without Jade, but at least we can watch non-Disney movies together now. I enjoy some of the classics, but even I like to broaden out a little bit. It's also been nice to have conversations outside of formula and diaper changing schedules.
I know Marc still loves Me. It's pretty obvious considering the things he says and does. I know what he did to my last ex-boyfriend. I think that's why I was open to at least becoming friends again. At least that's the reason outside of Jade.
I'm glad I made that effort to be friends again because I miss him a lot. I enjoy being together. I also enjoy seeing him with Jade and just us being a little family. I know Jody thought that Marc would say no or that I would say no. I never really told her that our relationship really changed in the last month. Maybe she just underestimates how much we care for Jade.
Even if I couldn't stand Marc, I would do this for Jade. I owe it to her. Jade wouldn't even exist without me because Jody targeted Marc due to the breakup. So, I feel just as responsible for her existence as everyone else. Soon I will have the paperwork to prove it.
As for how I feel about Marc, I still care about him. Okay, I might as well be honest and admit that I still love him. I didn't stop caring about him, but what he did hurt me. But I have a greater understanding of why it happened now, and I do forgive him. Although I'm not sure that he's forgiven himself.
Right now, we have to focus on Jade. What I feel for him doesn't matter. It's Jade that we have to focus on, and we both love her. I know you understand that better than a lot of people.
Please do text or email Marc soon. He misses you. I think he needs somebody to talk about baby stuff that's not me since I'm here for everything. I'm going to be around more because I'm taking a staff photographer position at Mead publications. It makes sense for me to have a job that requires less traveling since I am a dad now.
Apparently, Marc has an office with a full nursery or will as soon as the construction is done. As well as a bodyguard/nanny as soon as we can find the right person. In the meantime, we have Tamika. She worked as a babysitter for years to pay her way through school. Troy might be at mental health rehab for the moment, but it's always good to have somebody around.
Also, we don't trust Matt's mother at all.
XXXX
From: Mandy_cakes
To: Images_by_St._Paul
Time sent: 6/24/2010 01:35:21
Subject: Re: Thank you for taking care of Marc and Jade
You really shouldn't trust her. She sent me a bouquet of flowers at my new job. I'm 90% sure her congratulations card is really a death threat. I didn't tell Daniel because he would freak out about it.
I will text Marc soon. Probably when Justin gets here. I think he'll be furious if you start seeing selfies of me in Justin's text messages.
You're right; you both need to focus on Jade right now. I think you and Marc will figure things out eventually. I'm glad you acknowledged that you at least still love him. But I'm not naïve enough now to think that's everything. I still love Matt, but he's not ready for a relationship with me. It seems weird for this party girl to say that, but I'm not who I used to be. Children change you even when they're not here yet.
I sent you a text. Please save the number, although maybe under a pseudonym in case Matt looks at your phone. I'm not ready to talk to him yet. Maybe after the babies are born but not right now. I'm not there yet.
To be continued…