Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last conversation. You are all so wonderful.

This was originally one big chapter, but I decided to cut it into two sections and flesh things out. I am really trying to avoid chapters over 8000 words.

Chapter 58: Baby pudding pop and the many schemes of Nana.

Midmorning EDT August 8, 2010

Group text message to Vivian, Antonella, Tamika, and Austin

Mercedes: OK, I can confirm that mommy, grandma, and baby are well and all sleeping. Gio should be on his way back to the hotel to get some sleep. He will bring the kids by in the afternoon to see the baby.

Mercedes: Antonella, please make sure your brother goes to sleep and does not email baby pictures to the rest of the family. That's your job.

Tamika: I'll send you my pictures. I will also take care of my part of the family.

Antonella: On it. Do I send baby pictures to the family that was horrible at the wedding?

Mom: No. I'll take care of them. I'll even deal with the ex through the lawyers.

Mercedes: This concerns me.

Mom: It's not like I'm going to put a hit out on anybody. If I did, your father would not have been around to assist with baby pudding pop.

Mercedes: You wouldn't have to. You have your ways. Britney's mom doesn't want to leave, so I'm staying here until someone can relieve me. Tamika isn't staying because she has to go into the office to work on the press release.

Mercedes: Although knowing that Britney safely delivered has allowed her to go back to sleep. Somebody, please get her to a hotel or somewhere later.

Tamika: How did we get an entire suite with couches? There's even a kitchenette. I think I've had apartments that were smaller than this.

Mom: There might be another wing named after me soon. It's fine. I was happy to do it. What's the point of having money if you can't do things for your family with it.

Mercedes: True.

Mom: I'll be there by 11 am and will attempt to get mommy Britney somewhere where she'll actually sleep. I just need to take care of some business this morning.

Mercedes: Good, then I can relieve Austin of baby duty. Austin, thank you for taking such good care of the kids. Yesterday was awful for them.

Austin: I'm glad I could help. They were relatively well behaved. They deserve better than what happened with their dad.

Tamika: Aunt Viv, you're not going to take care of Mercedes's husband, are you? Not that I completely blame you because the prick tried to hit Freddie.

Mom: He's a low priority right now. Anyone who accidentally brings their boyfriend to their brother-in-law's restaurant is not much of a threat. I will let Ryan take care of him once he settles into the new job. Besides, thanks to your airtight prenup Chad won't get a penny. Madison's team will ensure he won't get to see the kids without a court-appointed observer. I have more pressing things to worry about.

Mercedes: I was mad at the time, but I now thank you for that prenup. Are you already meeting with your friends to take care of the birth certificate problem?

Mom: That, unfortunately, will be a Monday problem, but I will do all the lobbying in Albany that I can. The birth certificate situation is so ridiculous. There needs to be another option for intersexual babies, like pudding pop. Ryan has already set up a few meetings for Monday evening. Chad really is going to be lost without him.

Mercedes: This is a surprise to no one.

Mom: Although Austin, what type of breakfast pastries do your mom and horrible stepfather prefer? Also, is there a coffee preference?

Austin: Tiffany likes chocolate croissants. George likes anything he doesn't have to pay for himself. It is strong coffee sweet for Tiffany. George again loves anything he doesn't have to pay for.

Austin: Why do you want to know that?

Mom: I can't let my granddaughter's best friend move all the way to Chicago. Especially if Victoria is pulling the strings. You all know how much I hate her.

Antonella: You are the best grandmother.

Austin: What are you planning to do?

Tamika: Don't ask for details. You're better off not knowing. It's best to have plausible deniability with Aunt Viv.

Mercedes: You're definitely going to want plausible deniability.

Xxx

"Your grandmother is planning something. I've been instructed by Mercedes and Tamika to not ask questions. Apparently, I need plausible deniability. Should I be concerned?" Austin asked, looking directly at Antonella and placing his phone back in his pocket.

"It is a well-known fact in country club circles that Vivian Wyndham West is always planning something," Matt added. "Honestly, most of us are surprised the ex-hasn't had a suspiciously convenient heart attack yet."

"I don't think Tamika's hitman comment was a joke," Antonella remarked.

"Your grandmother is way too devious for something so obvious. However, Vivian did say earlier this morning that Austin living with her is an option. I also just talked to Breanna a little while ago. She actually thinks Vivian is the one that you should live with." Matt explained.

"Why? I've only met her a few times. She's very nice, but I know all of you better." Austin asked, confused.

"Nana knows I would be miserable without you. You and Justin are like my only friends. Everybody else ditched me during the pregnancy scare situation. I'm also in therapy twice a week because my mind tricked my body into thinking that it was pregnant. I'm so screwed up. I don't want to lose you. She's making sure that doesn't happen." Antonella answered.

"You're not screwed up. There's nothing wrong with you. I don't want to leave you either." Austin said, going over to hug Antonella. He really did need her these last few days.

"I'm sure that's part of the reason why Vivian offered to help. But the reason why Vivian is the safest place for Austin is your grandmother is more powerful than my mom." Matt explained. "Victoria is afraid of her and at the same time wants a piece of her power."

"Which is obvious by Victoria trying to already set you up with Mercedes before the divorce decree is even printed out." Antonella quipped.

"Wait, seriously?" Austin asked, surprised.

"Yes. However, I now have a strict no Daniel Mead ex-girlfriend policy despite Freddie and baby Mo being adorable. That's just too hard to overcome. Besides, I'm way too flaky for her." Matt joked.

"Smart. And unfortunately true. At least you're self-aware." Antonella remarked.

"Besides, you already have Cory," Austin smirked at Matt.

"He is my boss and a coworker. Nothing else is going on," Matt answered a little too quickly.

"How much did you text yesterday?" Austin asked. You're allowed to tease your half-brother, right? Austin wasn't quite sure what the protocol is. He had a brother for about a day. That Austin was aware of, at least. At this point, he's just muddling through things.

"He wanted to know how the tasting went. He was concerned when it ended up on fashion TV."

"If you say so," Antonella said, complete with Rolling eyes just as they heard a knock on the door of the suite. Maybe Hilda was bringing the girls over to the suite for breakfast.

Instead, it was Marc and Cliff at the door. Along with a very put upon bellhop bringing in a lot of baby gear.

"That's a lot of stuff. How much does one baby need? We already have a nursery." Antonella asked.

"A lot. Most of this is diapers. Also, although I do adore the designer onesies, they are not practical for everyday use. So we picked up some daywear stuff too." Marc said as he grabbed what appeared to be a baby bag from the top of the cart.

"Especially those with an amazing amount of glitter." Antonella joked.

"I'm glad your sister-in-law ended up with a baby pudding pop, so I don't have to return the glitter stuff. I know you don't like it, Cliff, but it's cute." Marc argued.

"Have you met my sister-in-law? She wouldn't have sent it back regardless. Although now we're going to need more monster truck T-shirts." Antonella joked.

"She's probably going to design the nursery with superheroes and princesses." Austin joked.

"She probably would've done that anyway. That's the plan for Jade's nursery when we move out to Queens." Cliff commented.

"It's a good plan. Better than Betty's Little Mermaid motif." Matt commented, finally coming out of the shadows. He's been hanging back since Marc and Cliff arrived.

"You're here?" Marc asked, surprised.

"Monique did not want to leave all the kids here alone with just teenagers being in charge overnight. I volunteered to help out." Matt answered.

"I see you are trying to get Monique not to hate you," Marc remarked. After the post-wedding fight, the two have just managed to get to civil. Of course, it helps that there are at completely different magazines.

"Monique doesn't hate Matt; she is just a little annoyed at him. Besides, he was here for bonding time with Austin." That response resulted in strange looks from both Mark and Cliff.

"Can I tell them?" Matt asked.

"Yes," Austin answered. He had no choice since Antonella already said too much. Besides, Justin will probably tell Marc eventually. Actually, Marc may already know some things.

"Did Justin already tell you about Chicago?" Austin asked.

"What about Chicago? I, unfortunately, have not talked to Justin since Thursday when he gave you a stellar recommendation."

"I am going to go order waffles, and you two can tell them everything." Antonella offered.

"Order the Sunday brunch spectacular," Matt suggested. "Go ahead and set up in the other room and maybe send Hilda over here if she's up."

"Will do," Antonella said, leaving him behind. That's when Austin began his tale of surprise paternity and being forced to move halfway across the country.

Xxxxx

"I still wholeheartedly believe your stepfather is a piece of shit," Marc answered after Austin explained everything. Including George thinking that the move to Chicago will break up Justin and Austin for good, giving him a straight kid again.

"He is, although so is Matt's mom," Austin remarked.

"We already knew that after she left threats for Amanda, which caused her to move all the way to London," Marc remarked as Cliff grabbed his hand in reassurance. Austin blinked for a few moments, concerned.

"We are all aware. Amanda is safer there. My mom will not touch her under Daniel and my aunt's protection. I have been purposely keeping away." Marc wondered why Breanna West Hartley was still involved, but her daughter was Meade spawn. Alexis Junior would be sad if something bad happened to her cousins.

"You can't just send Austin away and break all contact with him," Marc remarked bitterly.

"I know. I'm going to get myself paired for the possibility of Austin needing to live with me. This means I need to start looking for aloft again. I have an appointment after work Wednesday to look at a few places. Austin, are you up to it?" At the question, Austin started to look like an eager puppy.

"You want me to come help you?" Austin's voice was filled with shock and wonderment. He was happy that at least one family member appreciated him. Poor kid, especially because that member happens to be Matt. Marc really hopes he doesn't fuck up this time.

"Well, you might end up living there, so I want your input. You know if we can ever get my mom to stop acting like a comic book villain."

Marc is certain that day will never come, but he understands Matt being hopeful. He understands, considering he wishes that Mode security will no longer need to keep arresting his mother. At least she hasn't shown back up since Thursday.

"Which is a good idea, and again you're still welcome to stay with us," Hilda said from the side. When Antonella went to order breakfast, Hilda came in. Obviously, she was part of the Austin inner circle.

"Tiffany doesn't feel comfortable at all with me living in the same house as my boyfriend," Austin explained.

"I don't think any parent would. I'm already worried about when Jade will be a teenager." Cliff remarked from beside him.

"I rather have Austin come through the front door than the window. At least then I know what's happening in my own house and can provide condoms." Hilda's words caused Austin to go scarlet. Marc couldn't help but snicker.

"I feel like you did that a lot as a teenager," Matt remarked.

"Too many times, really, which is why I am raising a teenager in my early-30s."

"Any pregnancy I'm involved with will be very planned." And hopefully, Austin won't have to worry about conceiving a child in what was essentially a sexual assault.

"I hope so too," Hilda said, giving Marc a sad look.

"OK, now that we know that we have to keep Austin away from Chicago, I think Marc and me should actually put up all the baby things. Where does Monique want everything?" Cliff asked.

"Antonella's former room," Austin responded, pointing to the bedroom on the left of the suite.

"The team really did turn the room into a nursery. Although there is a twin bed right now for Britney. Just in case she wants to stay in there while breastfeeding. Otherwise, she'll be in the room next door." Hilda explained.

"Baby Mo is really looking forward to spending time with Grandma Britney while she's recovering from labor," Austin added as they made their way into the room.

"I can't believe this was a normal hotel room 24 hours ago," Marc remarked.

"Britney probably already had plans drawn up for this. If not, Vivian did." Cliff answered.

"She would. So why did you want us in here alone?" Marc asked.

"I wanted to talk to you before I made an offer that would affect both of us," Cliff whispered back.

"You want to offer our guest room to Austin?" Marc asked.

"Yes. I know Austin has many options, but it wouldn't hurt for him to have one more." Cliff suggested.

"He really does like us," Marc added.

"And Jade does adore him."

"The baby has good taste," Marc remarked.

"At 3 am, Jody texted me to say that we've been teaching Jade to keep her up all night."

"Oh, now that's a skill Jade picked up all on her own. We had nothing whatsoever to do with that. Although I am proud of her." Marc said as he made his way back towards the living room.

"We are going to head out now," Marc told the group.

"Marc wants to get brunch before we pick up Jade from Jody," Cliff explained. His boyfriend knew him so well—Wait, not boyfriend, coparent.

"You can stay. Antonella ordered what is essentially a bring to your hotel room breakfast buffet." Hilda suggested.

"We can't turn that down," Cliff said, leading him back to the couch. Marc is well aware that the food at this hotel is spectacular, especially their brunch.

"It's amazing what room service will bring you when your grandmother owns the hotel," Austin remarked. "I almost hope I do get to stay here for a few days. This is nicer than where we stayed in DC."

"Everyone should live in a luxury hotel once," Marc commented. "Although we have a room with your name on it in Queens. Just think of it as another option."

"I will consider it, although I think you just want live-in child care," Austin replied with a smile.

"Of course not. We get this. You know about my mom, and Cliff doesn't exactly have the best relationship with his parents either."

"I haven't told them about Jade, and I'm not sure I will," Cliff said sadly.

"At least not until you have to explain why you moved all the way to Queens." Marc joked.

"Maybe not even then," Cliff remarked. "Also, we just want you to know that you have a safe place."

"Thank you for that."

Xxx

August 8, 2010 3:32 PM EDT

Justin: Congratulations on the baby.

Justin: So I have already put together a long list of possible baby names for Daniel and Amanda, including many unisex names. Because I believe in being as progressive as possible.

Justin: So, after all my research, here are the current top 10 most popular unisex baby names:

1. Jackie

2. Jessie

3. Marion

4. Alva

5. Jodie

6. Ollie

7. Cleo

8. Kerry

9. Guadalupe

10. Frankie

Monique: That's a good list. Except we will have to take Jodie off on a technicality, even if it's spelled differently.

Justin: Sorry, I thought I removed that one already. OK, the new number 10 would be Tommie.

Monique: It's fine. Lucky for you, Mercedes just gave me my cell phone back.

Monique: I now have at least 85 possible name options. Apparently, Angel was everybody's favorite. Robbie also popped up a few times.

Monique: Oh, and I'm going to have to get a new phone number because somehow my dad managed to text me. He is furious that I didn't check male on the birth certificate since I got a choice. I don't want to know how he knew that. He probably has a friend at the hospital, which I find creepy.

Justin: I am really glad you're nothing like your father.

Monique: So am I. Pudding pop is so much better off with us. Although Britney is still here being a super grandma.

Monique: We're just going to tell everybody that she was our gestational carrier. Nobody really believed my father could actually get it up enough to get the trophy wife pregnant. That might've been why fertility drugs were involved.

Justin: And your father's going along with that?

Monique: He will go along with any version of events that would keep him from getting arrested.

Justin: Antonella already told me some of what happened, so I'm not gonna ask questions.

Monique: You're very smart.

Monique: Also, don't worry. We're doing everything in our power to make sure Austin will still be here when you get back from London. Even Marc and Cliff offered to let him stay with them.

Justin: I'll be back soon. I only have a few more weeks left.

Monique: Make them count, though. Don't worry about the Austin situation. It's a grown-up problem, and we're working on it.

Monique: I'm hearing all sorts of good things about you in London. Charlotte loves you and really wants you to go to college in the UK.

Justin: I'll do my best. I am considering it, but only if I can convince Austin to come with me.

Monique: Matt can afford UK tuition, so it's not out of the question. We'll talk more later. Like when I'm not still recovering from more than a day without sleep.

Justin: Good point.

Xxxxx

August 8, 2010, 7:23 PM EDT

Boss Cory: So, per the rumor mill, I heard that our big boss had her baby. Or rather, her gestational carrier did. Does this mean you are no longer watching her nieces?

Matt: Yes. Mercedes is back and has control of her kids again. As much as she ever did anyway. They're cute but a little chaotic.

Boss Cory: Good to know. I saw the video, and they definitely seem chaotic but good chaos. I feel like their dad deserved it.

Matt: Trust me, he did. Mom, baby, and grandma are all doing fine. Monique and Britney are both exhausted, but all is well.

Boss Cory: Also, Good to know.

Matt: I would send you pictures, but Monique wants to control that for now. Although I am allowed to show off via my phone tomorrow when I come in.

Boss Cory: It looks like the morning meeting will be interesting tomorrow. I look forward to baby pictures. Did Monique have a boy or a girl? The rumor mill has nothing on that.

Matt: She had a pudding pop.

Boss Cory:?

Matt: The baby nickname pudding pop is intersexual. They might have to put female on the birth certificate because New York State rules are ridiculous. But right now, Gio and Monique are going with gender-neutral pronouns and not giving a fuck about gender norms. I think Monique is currently looking for pink onesies with monster trucks on them.

Boss Cory: So essentially, what Monique always had planned outside of the pronouns. Not that I have any idea how long this has been planned. The rumor mill has conflicting stories.

Boss Cory: I worked with Monique at Player for years; she never gave a fuck about gender norms. This was why she was so good as the EIC of a men's magazine.

Matt: Sorry, the country club code of honor says I must keep most of what I know about the actual story to myself. Although Monique and I've only recently gotten close, our families have known each other for years.

Boss Cory: It's fine, and I respect Monique's privacy. She was very good to me during the implosion of my last relationship. So I feel I must extend her the same courtesy.

Matt: Monique is very good at keeping secrets. In addition to respecting people's privacy.

Boss Cory: Which is again why I won't press you to email the baby pictures now. I'll have muffins, and we can look at baby pictures in the morning.

Matt: Actually, that might have to be a lunch activity. Remember Friday when I said I was having family issues?

Boss Cory: Yes.

Matt: They kind of blew up over the weekend. So, I need to spend Monday morning at the lawyers.

Boss Cory: That is not good.

Matt: Not at all. Depending on how badly things go, I might need an emergency therapy session.

Boss Cory: That is completely understandable. I'll make sure your morning is free.

Matt: You are so wonderful.

Boss Cory: However, about five minutes ago, I got an email from Austin. Also letting me know that he has a family situation and will need the morning off to speak with an attorney. I'm sure it involves the horrible stepfather.

Matt: It definitely involves the horrible stepfather.

Boss Cory: That's too bad. He's such a good kid. He doesn't need to deal with all of that mess.

Boss Cory: Did you know there is a rumor going around the office that Austin is your son?

Matt: You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Boss Cory: Not that I believed it because you would've been in high school.

Matt: Although the mother of Austin's boyfriend is barely older than me, I can assure you that Austin is not my son.

Boss Cory: I knew the rumor mill was full of shit on that one.

Matt: More like they were just off by a generation.

Boss Cory: ?

Matt: If I tell you this, you cannot tell anybody else.

Boss Cory: You know I won't. Otherwise, everybody would know that your mom has a PI watching you. It is unfortunate she is so toxic.

Matt: You have no idea. Austin is my half-brother. Cal doesn't even know he has another kid. I would like to keep it that way. He doesn't deserve Austin.

Boss Cory: From what you told me, I completely agree with you on that. I'm surprised you don't need more therapy, considering how messed up your family is.

Matt: Honestly, so am I.

Boss Cory: So, Austin is the emergency?

Matt: His mom and stepfather want to move him to Chicago against his will. I can't say much more than that right now. At least not without Austin's permission. Although if Tiffany calls, do not accept Austin's resignation from her.

Boss Cory: I definitely will not accept it. I also won't pry. Although I will try to talk to Austin when he gets back.

Matt: Thank you.

Boss Cory: Although I am going to have to assign Austin to a different team. Family members are not allowed to supervise other family members.

Matt: Monique knew that Austin was my half-brother when she assigned me here. Austin didn't, but she did. Actually, he's only known since yesterday morning. He kind of figured it out on his own because he's so smart.

Boss Cory: But I'm betting HR did not? And now I know what blew up this weekend.

Matt: Possibly no. Although we kind of want to keep this close hold for the moment. Again Cal doesn't even know he has another kid yet.

Boss Cory: OK, Austin can stay on your team, but I will do his evaluation. If it ever publicly comes out that he's your brother, we will revisit this.

Matt: You are the best boss I've ever had.

Boss Cory: I appreciate you saying that. I look forward to baby pictures when you get in.

Matt: I will have plenty.

To be continued