Chapter 4:

High school before Bella had been purgatory. Edward had been drifting through his classes. It wasn't all that difficult for him to receive full marks on his homework and tests considering he didn't sleep and had a perfect recall on his memory. Edward didn't interact much with the other students, choosing to stick close to his family instead. He had no need or want for human interaction, it was simply a facade he and his family put on to keep their secret.

Now, high school was torture. Pure, unadulterated, honest to God torture. Everywhere he looked, Edward saw Bella. He smelled her lingering scent in the hallways and saw her in the minds of their classmates. He watched from afar during lunch how she interacted with her group of friends.

It was with envy that Edward watched Mike and Eric vie for her attention. Annoyance, when Jessica talked over Bella. Irritation, when Lauren tried to put her down. Edward was grateful when Angela was around since she was so inherently kind.

Edward was also still so frustrated that he couldn't hear her thoughts. Did she really mean the compliments she gave out? Was she annoyed to be left out of conversations? He didn't know what she was thinking when she agreed to make posters for homecoming. Did she want to attend? Who was she hoping to ask her?

When it was time for their class together Edward was always anxious. He decided that it was better to let Bella come to terms with him in her own way. He wouldn't push her. Edward figured that it couldn't be too hard.

It was.

It was so incredibly difficult to sit next to her, surrounded by her freesia and chamomile scent. To feel the warmth emanating from her. Hearing her heartbeat, steady and strong. The fear of being overcome by bloodlust was long gone and now Edward was able to enjoy just being around Bella.

Since Edward was stuck merely observing her, he watched Bella ceaselessly. He noticed things about her that the others overlooked. Bella was shy, often keeping quiet and only speaking up when defending someone else. She was patient and kind with the others. She was generous, offering her notes and extra pencils when asked. Bella was also clumsy. Edward must have seen her trip or bump into something half a dozen times by the end of the week either with his own eyes or someone else's.

Alice was agonizing over the slow pace. She was anxious to befriend Bella already. Apparently some of her less hazy visions had Alice and Bella as constant companions. Rose was in a near perpetual foul mood now, ignoring Edward except to taunt him about his little human obsession. Carlisle and Esme were content to let Edward decide his own fate, but gossiped with Alice and Emmett about the goings on at school.

Emmett was in a category all to himself. He teased and pestered Edward about making a move. He and Alice were plotting ways to push Edward and Bella together. Who knew that he would try to play matchmaker? Edward had caught them trying to put love notes signed from Edward into Bella's locker. Emmett had tried to convince them to mess with her truck so that Edward could offer her a ride home from school.

"Jazz, I bet you a hundred bucks he can last until Sunday." Emmett's booming voice echoed through the house Friday evening.

"I doubt it. By noon on Saturday at the latest." Jasper replied, his southern accent appearing with his mirth. "You haven't been feeling his emotions all week. He's absolutely bewitched."

Edward shot his brothers a glare on his way to his room, hoping to busy himself for the next 48 hours until school.

"Ed has magnificent self-control." Emmett scoffed.

"I know he does." Jasper paused "She's human though. You know how fragile they are though. One little fall and they're gone."

Edward froze in place halfway up the stairs, his muscles locked into place at the realization. Humans really were delicate. Car crashes, heart attacks, collisions, sickness, falling. Bella was clumsy. Her broken arm was from a fall, what if she falls at home and her father isn't there? What if she's driving her death trap of a vehicle and gets into an accident? Could Edward wait until Monday to see if she was alright? If not for Bella's gift she would have been dead on her first day, what are the chances that her luck ran out while Edward wasn't looking?

"That's cheating!" Emmett growled.

"I don't know what you mean. I was merely stating a fact."

Alice danced into the living room from wherever she had been hiding. Her face lit brightly with a smile and Edward quickly learned why. She was replaying a vision with crystal clarity. Edward and Alice were high up in a tree looking in through a window of an older, two-story house. The window was lit softly and Bella was sleeping tucked under the covers on her bed.

"Alice, you're not coming with me." Edward said with finality. Alice rolled her eyes at him, but kept the smile on her face.

"Nope, I'm coming with you. It's super creepy if you go by yourself to watch her sleep. If I go with you, it's more like a stakeout."

"She's not some criminal Alice."

"Eddie, why do you want to go alone so badly?" Emmett called out, lifting his eyebrows suggestively. If Edward could have blushed he probably would have.

"Alright Alice, you can come."

Alice was practically giddy with excitement. She ran upstairs thinking about a black catsuit she had stashed in the back of her closet she was planning to wear. Trust Alice to have an outfit for every occasion. Jasper grinned at Emmett and held out his hand, waiting for the money Emmett owed him. Emmett looked between Edward's surly expression and his blond brother with a pointed look.

"Double or nothing that Edward talks to her on Monday." Emmett said with a smirk.

"You two are impossible." Edward muttered, stalking back to the front door. Alice rushed down the stairs and linked arms with Edward before he could leave the porch.

"Let's go see your girlfriend!"

Annoyed, Edward raced off with Alice in tow. He was the fastest of the family, but Alice had no trouble keeping up with his pace. The sun had long since set and night had fallen. When they reached Bella's quiet street they assumed that everyone would be asleep.

Edward scaled a tree in the yard with ease, Alice a split second behind him. They settled on a branch directly across from Bella's window, but unlike the vision the window was dark. Edward and Alice could see Bella clearly even in the darkness. She rolled in her bed and moved the covers out of her way.

Suddenly Bella sat up in bed and turned on the light on her night stand. She rubbed her face tiredly and grabbed a book from the shelf next to her. Edward recognized the titles listed on the back of the book. Bella was a fan of the classics it seemed and Edward filed that into his mental folder about Bella.

Bella's face scrunched up adorably and she flipped through the book to the next story. Her brow smoothed out as she read through the first few pages, but crinkled again as she tossed the book to the table. With a sigh Bella flopped back onto her pillows and pulled her arm up to cover her eyes.

"Just admit it Bella." Edward held his breath as she spoke to herself. It was only their superior hearing that let Edward and Alice hear her words from across the yard and through the glass of her window. "You've got a crush on him."

Emotions flashed through Edward quickly. Hope and doubt creeping up on him slowly. Who did Bella have a crush on? Who was she thinking about? Bella didn't seem to show a preference for any of her male friends at school or at least nothing that Edward could detect. Bella treated everyone with the same gentle distance, everyone but Edward of course. She acted as if she wanted nothing to do with him, wanted nothing more than him to leave her alone. It couldn't possibly be Edward she was thinking about.

Edward! She likes you! Alice's voice chimed in Edward's head. The satisfaction in her tone was too much.

"It's not me she likes." Edward listened closely to the girl across from them. Her heartbeat had regulated and her breathing was slowing down. Bella's restlessness seemed to be over for the night.

What do you mean? She just admitted to a crush. Obviously it's you!

"Knock it off Alice. It can't be me." Edward knew that he should leave. He was invading Bella's privacy by being here and yet he found it impossible to make his limbs move.

"Edward, you're being ridiculous." Alice gripped his shoulders and forced him to look at her. "I've watched you two all week. I've seen the way you look at her. I can tell when you're thinking about her. She's. Your. Jasper." Alice shook him with every declaration.

"She's just a human Alice. A curious one, but she means nothing to me."

"Bullshit."

Edward looked down into Alice's golden gaze. Her face was filled with determination and she met his glare without flinching.

"I've known you for decades. For so long that I almost can't remember a time when you weren't my silly brother." Alice let him go as she spoke. "You can lie to everyone all you want and you can try to lie to yourself, but I can see through all of this." She waved her hand all around his face.

"Even if it was me. Which it most likely isn't." Edward paused to look back at Bella's sleeping form. "I wouldn't deserve her. She's a good person Alice and I-"

"You are a good person too." Alice wrapped her arms around him tightly. "We've all done things in the past, but you can't let it keep haunting you Edward. You have the right to happiness too. I think Bella is that happiness."

"Alice, she doesn't even want to talk to me. She literally compelled me to be unable to speak to her." Edward thrust his hand into his hair and pulled gently at the roots. "Who does that to someone they like? No one. She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. I will prove it to you."

"Please don't meddle with this Alice."

With a huff Alice turned and crossed her arms. "I can't make any promises Edward." She dropped out of the tree without a second thought and left Edward in the tree.

Don't stay too long. It's going to be sunny this weekend.

Edward stayed there in the tree until the sky started to lighten.

The weekend passed in blissful silence. Edward couldn't stand to be in the house with the others and so he relocated to his meadow.

It was perfectly circular as if someone long ago had uprooted the necessary trees. Now, in the fall the leaves around the edges of the meadow were beginning to change from green to yellow. In the springtime it was littered with wildflower blooms or every color, a sharp contrast to the never ending greenery.

Edward had happened upon it while hunting alone years ago and made it a point to visit whenever he needed space from his family. No one but Alice knew of its existence, but she had only seen it in visions when looking for Edward. She kept the secret of his sanctuary from everyone else.

He lounged out in almost perfect stillness at the center of the meadow all throughout Saturday and well into Sunday night. Edward watched the sunlight cast refractions from his skin onto the flora around him. With nothing else to distract him, Edward lost himself in his thoughts.

Even if Bella liked him, he felt undeserving of her affections. Someone who was as inherently good as Bella wouldn't and shouldn't be attached to someone like Edward. When Edward listed out the descriptions it was painfully clear how out of his depth Edward was.

Bella was beautiful, kind, selfless, generous and good.

Edward was cold, immovable, unchanging, and selfish.

Edward thought himself a monster. Not only for his past crimes, but for the things he wished for. He had almost killed her without a second though and it was only after he had a clear head that the guilt came. He had invaded the privacy of Bella's home by spying on her. Edward longed to be able to read her thoughts and take away that last privacy Bella held.

It took all of Edward's strength to keep him in the meadow Saturday evening. He craved to see Bella yet again, in the comfort of her home. To see her without the walls she put up around her peers.

Edward was struck by how much he was affected by her. When had it changed from curiosity to attachment and borderline obsession? When had his feelings developed without his noticing? He had slipped into love as easily as the sun sinking into twilight. It had been gradual, but a week seemed like such a short span of time. Edward thought about how his family had found their other halves.

When Carlisle and Esme had met she had been a young child. Over the years her feelings for him grew and it was mere coincidence that he had been there in time to change her. When Esme finished the change Carlisle had seen only love in her eyes. From that moment on he had known she was his everything.

Rosalie had urged Carlisle to change Emmett when she couldn't. It was with extreme strength Rose had been able to carry Emmett through miles of forest. Emmett had known from the first time he saw Rosalie that she was it for him. He called her an angel and his unwavering devotion to her solidified their love.

Alice had seen Jasper in one of her first visions as a newborn. She had known at that moment that he was hers and set out to find him. With Jasper's ability to sense her emotions he was hit with all of the love that Alice had felt for him. Their bond was perhaps the easiest.

With each one of his family perfectly matched to their counterpart, how could Edward come to terms with loving Bella? She was human. Although they had all been human at one point, their changes were out of their own control. Bella had her entire life set out in front of her with all the possibilities it had to offer. Edward couldn't fathom a reason to change Bella simply for his selfish wish that he didn't want to live without her.

Alice was convinced that Bella didn't hate him, but how could Edward think otherwise between the way he first treated her and then her actions afterward? It appeared clear to him, but the certainty in which Alice spoke made him pause. Bella may or may not have feelings for Edward, but he knew something that was irrevocably true.

When Edward spoke, his voice was soft and drifted through the night.

"I'm in love with Bella Swan."