Chapter 11:

Edward wasn't sure if it was normal for vampires to feel nervous. They were the apex predator that feared almost nothing. Vampires were faster, stronger, and more durable than any other creature on the planet. They did not need to sleep or even to breathe. The absolute only other threat was another vampire….or fire if one was to get technical.

So why on earth was Edward so nervous to be standing once again on the front porch of a mortal girl's house? If Edward had been some normal guy he assumed that his heart would be racing and his hands were sweaty, but on the outside he appeared to be calm and collected. The anxiety still thrummed beneath his skin but with his decades of discipline he managed to push it from his mind.

Edward could hear Bella pacing through her house and items being moved from one place to another. Perhaps he wasn't the only one anxious.

At precisely 12 o' clock Edward knocked lightly on the front door. In quick succession he heard some footsteps, a thump, a yelp, and another louder thud. Without hesitation Edward twisted the handle to let himself in and he saw Bella sprawled across the floor. He controlled the urge to pick her straight up into his arms and instead offered her his hand to take. It also took some concentration to keep the amusement off his face, but by the scowl on hers it appeared he wasn't quite successful.

"Why, yes Mr. Cullen, please come on in." Bella said to him sarcastically, taking his hand. Edward lifted her to her feet easily and quickly took his hand back as if he had done something wrong.

"I'm sorry Bella, I heard you fall and I was worried about you." Maybe she was regretting all that they had shared between them. Had she already drawn a line and he had unknowingly overstepped?

"Are you in the habit of breaking into my house when you're worried about me?" Bella asked.

Yes. All the time.

Bella stared up at him expectantly, her dark eyes flecked with caramel and umber. Her teeth tugged on her pink bottom lip and Edward was momentarily lost in her gaze.

"I wouldn't call it breaking in, the door was unlocked." And so is your window. Edward flashed her a smile and heard her heartbeat increase along with it.

"But you do worry about me then." It wasn't a question, but rather a statement looking for confirmation.

"Of course I do, you're positively accident prone." Edward said, stepping toward Bella. Dozens of demonstrations of Bella's lack of balance came to the forefront of his mind. Edward couldn't help raising his hand up to brush the back of his fingers on Bella's blazing cheeks. "I worry about you anytime I'm not around to catch you."

They stayed there for a moment, Bella blushing adorably and Edward touching her lightly across her face. It was brief, but when Bella abruptly turned to the kitchen Edward couldn't help but smile.

"Would you like a drink?" Bella asked. Obviously it had slipped her mind that she was hosting a vampire. "I uh…think we have squirrels in our backyard." Or maybe she hadn't.

The vision was so absurd. Bella offering him a squirrel as a good hostess. Edward couldn't help but laugh at the thought and was overjoyed at Bella's smile when she turned back to him. Edward leaned against the doorway as Bella practically glowed with delight and her eyes were shining, he could have watched her all day.

"You think you're so funny?"

Bella flashed a smile back at Edward as she spoke. "I've got plenty of jokes."

"Emmett is going to love you." Edward said with a groan. At this rate Emmett might win best friend status out from under Alice if corny jokes were the deciding vote.

"So, tell me a bit more about your family. You've told me about Alice and Jasper's powers, but how do they feel about you talking to me?" Bella tried to appear nonchalant, but Edward could feel the apprehension in Bella's question.

Edward motioned toward the kitchen table, pulling out a chair for Bella to sit. Hopefully he could help her relax around her if only by just a fraction.

"Alice is by far the most supportive, but Emmett is a close second surprisingly." The way those two schemed and plotted to push Bella and Edward together deserved an award. They were positively relentless. "Esme is delighted of course, what mother wouldn't be? Carlisle and Jasper are content to just see that I am happy." There was nothing comforting that Edward could say of Rosalie at this point so he simply chose to omit her from his explanation.

With the expression on Bella's face it was clear that she could tell he hadn't told her the entire truth, but he was thankful that she chose to ignore it rather than call him out.

"Does it matter that I'm not like you?" Bella's gaze was drawn to the table as she traced the lines of the wooden surface.

"You mean human?" Edward hesitated a moment. He could name a hundred reasons why they should not be together starting with the fact that he was a danger to her no matter what her powers could do. Although their cousins to the north had dalliances with humans, they were fleeting and unencumbered with true feelings. Edward couldn't deny that his attraction to Bella was enduring and permanent, he felt it in every bone in his body.

"We hadn't ever encountered a situation like this before. Carlisle changed myself, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett on the brink of death. Alice and Jasper came to us much later. Our only interactions with humans for the most part have only been in passing. I've never spent so much time with a human as I have with you."

Perhaps Bella noticed that he didn't accurately answer her question, but what could he have said to soften the blow? Yes, his family was generally enthusiastic with his newfound affection to Bella yet he could still hear all of the negative thoughts they tried to hide from him. What if he couldn't control himself? What if things ended badly between them? A hundred different endings filled with shame, contempt, and grief.

"You know…." Bella started, "I have more questions for you." She smiled at Edward obviously trying to change the subject.

Edward shook his head at her. "Today it's my turn to ask questions." He leaned forward across the table, closing the space between them. The warm fresh scent of freesia filled his nose as he mentally pulled up the list of questions he had been compiling. There was simply just too much that he wanted to know about her. Hopefully Bella would be as candid as he had been the day prior.

"What's your favorite color?" Brown.

"Why?" I miss brown, it's warm. Forks is too green and I guess I'm still not used to it yet.

"What's your favorite food?" Cheeseburgers with pickles.

"What books do you like to read?" I really like the classics. Jane Eyre, Mansfield Park, Sense and Sensibility, I'll read just about anything though.

"What's your favorite gemstone?" Topaz

"Why are you blushing at this question?" I am not. Next question.

"What do you want to do after you graduate?" I haven't really thought about it much. I'd like to do something with books.

"Why haven't you considered your future after high school?" For a long time it was just me and Mom. She means well, but she needs to be taken care of. I had mostly just assumed that I would be wherever she was and that influenced my decisions. It wasn't until Phil came along that I really had the opportunity to think of myself. Then last year happened and then I was just worried about other things.

"What kind of music do you listen to?" My Mom had us listening to everything. She went through a lot of phases so it was always changing. I preferred classical and instrumental music to everything else though.

"How often do you call your mother?" Not as often as she would like, but she only answers about half the calls I make anyways. I send her emails and texts to keep her updated about how I'm doing though.

"Do you miss her?" Of course! She's been my best friend for as long as I can remember.

"Do you miss Phoenix?" There are things I miss about Phoenix. I miss my mom the most, but I miss how open everything is. You can see for miles and the mountains and rock formations. I miss the smell of creosote and the heat. I don't like the cold so I'm not looking forward to winter.

"Do you regret moving here?"

The way Bella spoke about her mother and where she used to live was full of fondness and longing. Edward could tell how she preferred Arizona in her tone of voice and the softness in her eyes as she remembered things.

"No, as much as I miss Phoenix and Mom, I know that moving here was the right thing for me. I don't think I was dealing too well with what happened there and this change was something I needed."

Edward couldn't help but hope that he was part of the reason she didn't regret moving here. That in some way he was helping her move forward from the past that hadn't let go of her. He watched her preoccupied expression as she tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth and found himself pulling it free with his thumb without actively choosing to do so. It was so forward of him and if he were human then his heart might have skipped a beat under her gaze.

There were other questions that Edward was desperate for the answers to. Ones that had been pestering him whenever he had thought about her, but they had been too invasive in their previous conversations. This wasn't an interrogation, but he was compelled to get the answers.

"The other night when I came to your house, why did you not just use your gift to remove your cast?" Edward's voice stayed as soft as it had been when he asked the other questions, but his curiosity was burning. Bella shifted in her seat as she felt the change in their conversation.

"My power, gift, whatever you want to call it, is apparently unlimited in what it can do. I generally try not to use it, but sometimes I can't help it." Bella shrugged, picking at the grooves in the table with her fingers. "The only time it doesn't work is when I'm drunk. I guess that being inebriated blocks my brain from doing whatever it does."

"Do you get drunk often?" Edward asked, she didn't appear to be the type to drink excessively, nor did he notice her doing anything of the sort other than that one night.

"No." Bella replied.

"What made you drink that night?" Edward was certain he already knew the answer to that question, but needed to hear it from her.

"It was a lot of things, honestly." Bella said with a frown. "The first anniversary of Riley's death and my mom had sent me the card for his memorial. I…uh.. I called Bree. I'm not sure why, she never appreciated my reaching out to her before and the last time we spoke a few months ago didn't go very well either. I guess I just hoped it would be different."

Bella was lost in her memory, Edward could see it in the way her eyes seemed to unfocus. She pulled her arms up around her midsection in a tight embrace. Bella didn't appear to notice that her grip was rigid and the fragile bones in her wrist were straining with the tension. He had seen her do this motion before, but didn't have the insight behind the action.

"Why do you do that?" Edward asked.

"Huh? Do what?" Bella sounded confused and so Edward reached across the space between them. He traced his fingers over her wrist up to her elbow lightly. Bella allowed him to unwrap her arms and he kept her hands in his when he was done.

"Sometimes I feel like I have to hold myself together. Like if I'm not too careful that I'll fall apart." Edward ran his thumbs over her knuckles as she spoke, hopefully giving her the courage to be honest.

"You know, I wasn't entirely truthful when I told you that I couldn't hear your thoughts." Edward said looking down at their intertwined hands, he felt Bella tense up once again in his grasp. "I can't hear your day-to-day thoughts. I can only hear when you use your gift."

"So you heard me then?" Bella relaxed back into her chair, keeping their hands together. "Even at the very beginning?"

"Yes." Edward said with a laugh, remembering his astonishment and panic on her first day of school. "You can't imagine how shocked I was. That afternoon was ludicrous to say the least."

In the span of a second Bella had altered his life so completely that it threw everything he thought he knew into a spiral. She had taken over his thoughts and his every free moment was spent with her or thinking about her.

"What do I smell like?" Bella asked almost innocently.

That question slashed through his mood like a knife. The lure of her blood was dulled slightly in comparison to that first day, but it was still a damn temptation with every breath he took. The longer he spent in her presence the less he wanted to give in to his monster, but the possibility was still there.

Edward looked up to see Bella blushing, the color dusting her cheeks in the most beautiful way. When she blushed the scent became all the more powerful and he wanted to surround himself in it. How could he explain the way she charmed him with her scent without frightening her? Could he tell her how much he wanted her, still craves her, without sounding villainous?

"You smell like freesia and lavender after a summer rain. Warm and inviting, a promise of relief and satisfaction. Fresh and clean like a cloudless sunrise. Your scent is so alluring that I would have left my entire life to follow you to the end of the earth if that's what it took to find you. I knew that indulging in a taste of gratification that I haven't seen in all my years and in that moment I would have given up anything and everything in the world to have you." Edward's throat burned as he remembered vividly the way Bella's blood had called out to him.

Edward had tried hard not to think of Bella that way. He had to push out his natural instincts over his affection for her. It was hard not to think about how good she smelled when she had silenced his thirst with her gift, but now that the fire had retired with the lure of her blood he hadn't wanted to indulge his monster that way.

"Sorry." Bella whispered, pulling a hand out of his grip. Momentarily Edward was bereft, thinking that he had gone too far in his explanation, lost in her scent as he was.

"What on earth do you have to be sorry for?" Edward was surprised at this turn of events. How did anything he said require an apology from her?

"I guess I'm just sorry I smell so good?" Bella shrugged. Edward had to hold himself back from clarifying exactly why she had no reason to apologize. To tell her every atrocity his kind were capable of and that she was merely a victim waiting for his control to slip.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand, refusing to let the warmth of her grip slip from his fingers. He took a breath with the intention of reprimanding Bella for her foolishness, but the soft sounds of a phone vibrating upstairs called his attention.

"Your phone is ringing Bella." He said with a sigh. When she patted her pockets he smirked at her. "Upstairs."

Bella rolled her eyes at him and got up from the table. She didn't pull her hand away from his, instead she tugged him along as she went up the stairs to her room.

Bella's phone was vibrating on her bedside table. The screen was lit with a picture of Bella and her mother smiling at the camera with a crowd of people behind them. The happiness in Bella's eyes was as clear as the love she had for her mother.

Unfortunately Bella released his hand as she answered the phone. She sounded out of breath, but that could have been from climbing the stairs.

"Hey, Mom."

"Bellaboo!" Renee said with a laugh and Edward had to smile at the nickname. "Did I wake you up honey?"

"No, I just left my phone in the other room. What's up?" Edward felt Bella's eyes on him as he explored her room.

Edward had seen everything from his night visits, but he hadn't allowed himself to look more closely than a brief glance. He looked over the stacks of books on the desk, the spines cracked and creased from being read so often. Edward could tell her favorites from the way they refused to lay flat properly. He grazed his fingertips across the desk as he quickly read the titles.

"Are you trying to get rid of me Bella? What's wrong?" Renee's voice wasn't concerned in spite of her words.

"No, I'm not trying to get rid of you Mom. I just…..have a friend over." Bella admitted. Is that what they were, friends? Edward felt like what was blossoming between them went far beyond friends, but if that's what she was choosing to call them then that's what he would be.

"Ooh, a friend? Anyone I might know?" Renee asked and Edward tried to hide his smile from Bella.

"His name is Edward." He heard Bella sit down on her bed as he looked out the window. Edward continued his wandering and looked through the picture frames lining the shelves by Bella's desk. There were photos of Renee and Charlie holding a baby Bella followed by Bella and her father holding a fish and Bella looked positively green.

"Edward? Dr. Cullen's son?"

"Yeah actually. How do you know him?" Bella said, confused. Edward's interest was piqued as well, it didn't appear that Bella had mentioned him to her mother.

"Well, you gave your dad the slip yesterday and he called me to see if I knew what you were up to. Of course, I had no idea and was worried sick, but he called me last night telling me that you'd come home and where you'd been." Renee said, barely taking a breath. "Although when we were your age we were doing far worse things than getting a cast off if you know what I mean."

Edward had to hold back a laugh at the expression on Bella's face. She looked appalled at what her mother was saying and covered her face with her hand. "Ugh Mom. We didn't do anything."

"Well, I'm sure your father will be relieved to hear that, but make sure you're being safe just in case." Renee's voice dropped low into a stage whisper, but Edward could faintly hear a man laughing in the background. "If you're too embarrassed to go to a pharmacy I can place an order online with discreet packaging so your dad won't see the condo-"

"Mom." Bella whined into the phone, obviously flustered. "Please stop talking. It's not like that. We're just friends."

"Okay hun, I'll let you go, but I fully expect to hear all of the details later. I wanna hear about how cute he is-"

"I love you mom." Bella said forcefully, cutting her mom off again.

"Love you too! Bye!"

Bella hung up the phone as she threw it beside her. She flopped backward onto the bed and tucked her face under her arm to hide. Edward sank into his rocking chair by the window to watch her. It felt different being in her room while she was awake, pulled into her space as forcefully as a human could manage. The light showed the red that wasn't present in her hair in the dark and the freckles on her skin were more defined.

Suddenly Bella looked over at him as if she had forgotten he was there. She said nothing for a few moments while she studied him and Edward waited for her to guide him.

"Why are you so far away?" She said softly. Edward took that as an invitation and at his fastest speed he pulled off his shoes, placed them beside the bed, and climbed in next to her. He sat at her feet and stretched his long legs between her and the window. Bella laughed when she realized he had moved in that split second after her question.

Bella folded her legs to sit cross legged and Edward followed suit realizing that this was exactly how they had stayed in the meadow yesterday.

"So your mom seems nice." Edward said with laughter in his voice. He had hoped to make Bella flush that attractive shade of pink again and he wasn't disappointed.

"Sorry, she really has no filter, but she means well." Bella started pulling at the loose threads on the blankets anxiously and Edward resolved to settle her nerves again.

"She loves you, you know." Edward said, leaning back on his hands.

Bella looked up at him through her lashes and he was struck again by how beautiful she was. How could he have ever thought her plain, an average girl by human standards, and forgettable from a vampire's perspective. There was nothing ordinary about the colors blended in her irises or the extravagant way her freckles dusted her cheeks and peeked at the edge of her collar. Her lips tilted in a shy smile that made him feel a myriad of emotions. Thirst was one of them, but also a hunger of a different sort, one that an eternal seventeen year old had yet to feel in this lifetime and the fluttering of Bella's heart indicated that she felt the same.

Edward would have been content to spend the entirety of the afternoon gazing at Bella, the novelty of being in her room while she was awake had not yet passed.

"I have a strange question for you, if you would answer honestly." Bella said, uneasiness bleeding into her tone. Edward nodded eagerly while wondering what would have Bella so concerned. "You didn't happen to be in my room last night were you?"

Of all the possible questions Edward had cataloged he hadn't expected this to be one of them. In a moment of panic Edward tried to come up with a lie to convince Bella that he wasn't some stalker who made a habit out of creeping through windows into bedrooms, but Bella had asked for honesty and how could he deny her? Instead Edward flashed what he hoped was an apologetic smile to her, hoping that his explanation would soothe any ire she held towards him.

"I'm sorry, I hadn't meant to invade your privacy like that or betray your trust." It was embarrassing for Edward to admit to her face how obsessive he had become of Bella. That his self-discipline had been very well shattered by her and he was helpless under her spell. "It doesn't mean much, but I couldn't help myself. I felt drawn to you and the compulsion I felt to be near you overshadowed my rational thought."

Bella studied him for a few minutes with a thoughtful expression and Edward was combusting under the pressure. Oh how he wished that his telepathy worked on Bella's mind at this moment.

"Have you done it before?" Bella asked in that same tone from before. Edward rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. This wasn't how he had thought this afternoon would turn out. Bella was likely to kick him out and demand him to leave her alone after finding out how much he had crossed this line.

"I have. Quite a few times actually." Edward said. "I hadn't intended to come into your room, but I could hear you having nightmares and I only wanted to calm you. It was hard for me to stay away from you once I realized that my presence helped you sleep."

Edward watched Bella melt a little at his words. Perhaps this wasn't quite the affront to Bella that he thought it was. Then again, Bella seemed to have a very poor sense of self-preservation and so this was very in character for her.

"You like me then?" Bella asked.

"Yes." Far more than should be acceptable for someone like me.

"Why?"

Because you are kind and generous, lovely and warm, confusing and exciting and endearing. You've captured my mind and my heart without ever trying and with barely a breath in my direction. My every thought is preoccupied by you.

"I find you fascinating." Edward said, reeling in his thoughts. Bella arched her brow adorably at him and Edward fought the smile that threatened to appear.

"So am I just an experiment for you to observe?" Bella looked disappointed in his answer, but Edward wasn't sure what other truth he could have said that wouldn't chase her away.

She thought herself to be an experiment? Perhaps it was best that he hadn't let on about Carlisle's inquiry to run some tests on her abilities. Although her gift was curious it wasn't what drew Edward to her. There wasn't a singular reason that Bella appealed to him and he couldn't bear for her to think that his attention was brought on by the realization that she wasn't like a normal human girl. She wasn't something to analyze until every question was answered and then thrown away. Bella was far too special to him now.

"No you are nothing of the sort." Edward reached forward to grab her hands once again, an action that he was finding far too comforting than he should have. "I find you captivating. The reason you do or say things is a mystery to me and I find myself trying to anticipate what your next move will be, but I am rarely correct. I can't stop thinking about you and I know for certain that if I could dream it would be of you."

Bella was watching him earnestly, searching him for any trace of a lie, but Edward had never been so honest in his life as he had in that moment.

"I'm here for as long as you'll have me." Edward said with uncertainty bleeding into his words. Even if she told him to leave he knew that he would never be able to go too far.

"So what is this?" Bella gestured back and forth, trying to find a label that fit the intensity between them.

"Well, you told your mother that I was your friend, but yesterday I thought I was quite clear that I wanted to be more than that with you." Was the fact that she specifically called him a friend a sign that that was all she wanted them to be? Did Edward read far too much into her physical reactions to him?

The panic that unsettled Edward's normally cool expression was kept at bay by his willpower alone. He refused to allow his emotions to get the better of him simply because he felt that his life was hanging in the balance.

"Alright then you're my…"

"Boyfriend?" Edward thought that word didn't quite encompass all that he felt for Bella, but he didn't want to chase her away by expressing just how irrevocably he was changed by her. So he could live with this inadequate title for the time being.

Bella nodded slowly and in return Edward flashed her a smile that seemed to catch her breath if the stutter of her heart was anything to go by. He squeezed her hand that he still held and felt her tighten her grip in response.