(Paul)

I stood alone in the snack aisle of the convenience store, my empty cart beside me as I assessed the multitude of choices. The last two days had passed at a crawl, even work and patrol wasn't enough to distract me from the impending day. Wednesday. I wasn't the only one who felt apprehensive about today, Bella had sent giant waves of nerves and anxiety through our bond the past forty-eight hours. Her emotions were dizzying, vaguely I wondered if I would ever get used to them. They had been what motivated my stop at the convenience store this morning. I wanted to find a way to calm her down, make her comfortable. Food can be comforting. The problem was that I had no idea what kind of food she liked, if she preferred healthy or junk, sweet or savory. I probably should have asked Dumb ass. I shook my head in anger, no, I want to learn about her on my own. It was integral to my plan, not because I was interested. Really, I'm not. It's for the plan.

I knew what Clair liked, we all did. Clair was Emily's four year old niece, but she basically was like a little sister to all of us. We all adored the little shrimp. Most of us had become acquainted with her and Emily's family when Sam would assign us to watch over them. He took the safety of the whole tribe seriously, but he especially was watchful over Emily and her family whenever one of us caught the scent of trouble in the wind.

Tired of staring at the various packages like a moron, I grabbed a random assortment, making sure I had various flavors in the cart. Spicy, savory, sweet… she's gotta like something I got in here. I began to wheel my cart away when I noticed a purple and white box on the bottom of a nearby shelf, I read the label. 'Dr. Pepper berries & cream', right, that new pop everyone's going crazy about. I remembered something about people saying it was limited edition, and that most people seemed to like it. What the hell, why not? If it was popular, I figured the chances of Bella liking it were high, so I put a twelve pack in the cart and paid at the register.

I was still early by the time I pulled into Sam's driveway and stepped down from my truck cab, turning to grab my purchases before closing the door and making my way to the front door. I was about to ring the bell when the door opened and revealed Emily, who looked down at the bags and the box I was carrying.

"I hope you don't plan on feeding Clair all of that."

"I don't- it's for Bella."

She raised an eyebrow as she stepped aside to let me though. I had barely made it past her into the living room when a pale blue blur came running towards me and screaming with glee.

"Unc' Paul! Unc' Paul!" The little pale blue blob wrapped her chubby little arms around my legs.

"I was going to tell you she was dropped off a little early."

"I see that." I placed my things down and snatched her up in a hug. "What's up short stack?"

"Unc' Paul! I'm not short!" She giggled as she wrapped her little arms around my neck. I set her back down and began to pick up my purchases to bring them to Emily's dining table. Clair eyed them curiously.

"She insisted on being a princess today." Emily explained as she referenced the little pale blue Cinderella costume and plastic tiara Clair was wearing.

Clair did a twirl. "I have to look my best, Aunty Em'! I'm meeting Unc' Paul's princess!"

I blushed crimson and began to protest before shooting Emily a dirty look. She had the good grace to look abashed.

"I guess she overheard me and my sister talking…."

As I passed Emily to place the cans in the fridge, I whispered in her ear, "Is nothing in this damn tribe sacred?"

She grinned. "Anyway, you two shouldn't have any trouble. Clair has her Bratz and her art supplies. As long as you keep her Barbie movies playing she'll be an angel."

I turned from the fridge and noticed Clair's giant cloth dvd case unzipped on the counter and cringed.

"I see she brought the dvd holder of doom."

"Be nice, she's already picked out the ones she wants."

"Swan lake! Swan lake!" Clair bounced up and down in excitement.

Crap, not that one again. If I had to watch that one more time, my eyes would bleed.

I looked at the kitchen clock and noticed that Bella was due any minute.

"Don't you have an imaginary hair appointment? What will you be doing anyway?"

"Well, I'm going to run some errands, have some lunch with friends, visit with my father, I will be gone for quite a while."

I internally groaned. There was no way this wasn't going to be awkward as hell.

I could hear Bella's thunderous engine in the distance. I turned to Emily once again. "Sounds like she'll be here any minute."

"Then I better get going. Try to play nice, Paul." Emily waved as she made her way out of the door, leaving me alone with Clair, who had already begun digging through the bags to pick out her snack.

"Kit-Kat?" She asked as she dug, looking for her favorite candy. I stepped over to help her.

"Yes, I bought you 'Kit-Kat', but you gotta wait 'til later."

She looked up at me deflated. "Why?"

" 'Cause it's not a healthy breakfast. You don't want to be a small fry forever do you?"

"I'm not small!"

"Right, 'cause you eat your fruits and veggies. Clair no eat fruits and veggies, Clair no grow."

She pouted at me. I gently noogied her head and she adjusted her tiara and broke out into a laugh. I heard Bella's engine shut off and began to make my way to the living room to let her in. Remember Paul, the plan, get her help, break the bond, then walk away-

The doorbell rang and I opened the door. Bella stood on the porch shyly, her long, thick hair pulled back in a ponytail, her pale skin glowed in the early morning light, a light contrast with the purple flannel of her shirt. Her normal lavender and honeysuckle scent mixed with the scent of wild strawberries in her hair. She stared back at me with wide, light brown eyes, a deep blush forming on her cheeks. Peaches and cream- no, moonlight and roses.

What plan?

Seeing her, I felt like my bell had just been rung, like I'd been sucker punched. What the hell's wrong with me?

Faintly I could hear Clair chanting, "She's here, she's here!"

I snapped back to my senses.

"Come in." I ordered as I stepped back to give her space. She hesitated for a moment, her unease palpable, before she stepped through and I closed the door back.

Clair came charging in.

Bella looked down at her. "H-hello, little one. A-are you Clair?" She asked as she bent down to meet Clair's gaze.

"I am! I am! And you're-"

"The babysitter." I interrupted, hoping to cut Clair off at the pass.

"I'm a princess!" Clair exclaimed as she twirled around again, showing off her little dress.

"M-my you are a pretty p-princess! And what is your royal decree today?" Bella's speech seemed to relax more as she talked to Clair. I could still feel the tidal wave of emotions Bella felt, but it seemed that Clair put her a bit at ease. I was relieved to see it.

"Royal what?"

"W-what are your demands for the day?"

"Barbie and Kit-Kats!"

Bella chuckled.

"She wants to watch Swan Lake." I piped up, then looked back at Clair. "But her highness knows that the Kit-Kats are for later."

Clair went back to pouting. Bella straightened back up, hesitantly she whispered to me.

"H-has s-she been f-fed b-breakfast y-yet?"

Before I could answer Clair interrupted.

"Why do you talk weird?"

Bella blushed crimson and her emotions took a swan dive. I tried not to gag on her humiliation as I gently chided Clair, but Bella stopped me.

"I-it's o-okay." She knelt back down to be eye level with Clair. "I h-have w-what's c-called a s-stutter t-that h-happens w-when I'm n-nerv-ouse."

"So you always sound like that?"

I once again began to gently correct Clair when Bella held up her hand. "N-no, o-only w-when I-I f-feel… b-bad f-feel-ings."

"Oh. Okay!"

I turned to Bella. "I'm sorry." For more than I can ever say. "She's still learning manners."

Bella nodded, not wanting to try speaking again yet. I took the clue and answered her question.

"No, Clair hasn't been fed yet- her mom didn't have enough time this morning."

Bella took a few deep breaths. "O-okay, n-no problem. I can fix her s-something, if you're o-okay with it…."

Clair began to bob up and down.

"Food! Food!"

"I don't mind, if you're okay with cooking for her."

"Y-yeah, not a p-problem." Bella answered and began to make her way into Emily's kitchen. I followed her out of curiosity and Clair followed me out of hunger.

I sat in one of the kitchen stools by Emily's counter and lifted Clair into the one beside me as Bella assessed the contents of the fridge.

"H-how about some eggs?" She asked Clair.

"Scramble!" Clair exclaimed, looked at me, then added, "And veggie!"

Bella grinned. "O-okay then, do you want to try an omelet?"

"Yeah! Yeah!"

Bella turned towards me and her blush deepened. "W-would y-you l-like o-one?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." I really wasn't comfortable having her cook for me, but I didn't want to make this any more awkward by telling her no.

She smiled slightly and turned back to the fridge and began to assemble her ingredients. Clair hopped down and ran to her book bag for her dolls. I awkwardly stayed where I was seated and watched Bella as she worked, trying to think of conversation starters. I hated to admit it, but she was mesmerizing in the kitchen. I actually found myself intrigued watching her chop vegetables, her cuts were so precise. I shook my head, stupid damn bond.

I was still agonizing over a topic while Bella was tending to the pan of eggs when Clair ran back over with her favorite doll clenched in her fist. Its giant, clown faced head peaked above her tiny little fist. Clair tugged on my shirt to let me know she wanted up and I hoisted her up back into the kitchen stool beside me.

"What were you like as a kid?" She asked Bella randomly.

Bella paused for a moment, before answering.

"I was- a pretty boring kid."

"Everyone says you grew up with Unc' Jake."

Bella tended to the stove and answered over her shoulder.

"Yeah, we're childhood friends."

I tried not to show it, but my interests were piqued.

"What did you do?" Clair continued her barrage of questions.

"W-well, we played. Mostly with his twin sisters, and Angela and Jessica."

"What did you play? Did you play with Bratz?"

"N-no, that was a bit past our time, but we did watch anime an-"

"What's anime?"

"It's a type of cartoon-"

"What kind?"

"Uhm, w-well, we used to watch a lot of Sailor Moon, and we'd pretend to be the sailor scouts."

Clair's eyes widened. "Sailor Scouts? Watsat? Did Unc' Jake play too?"

Bella slid a small omelet onto a plate and placed it in front of Clair, then began to pour her a glass of juice from the fridge. It smelled great.

"Uhm, sort of… female space heroes. We used to make him be our tuxedo mask."

"Make? Unc' Jake?" Clair asked incredulously.

Bella chuckled and answered over her shoulder as she tended to the stove again. "Well, it was five girls against one boy, he really didn't have an option."

I had listened to Bella talk, more invested in what she had to say than I cared to admit. I was surprised that deep down part of me was actually jealous of Dumb ass, he knew her in a way I never would. I mentally socked myself. Plan, Paul, the plan.

Clair burst into laughter and demanded to watch Sailor Moon. I gently coaxed her to eat her breakfast as Bella placed a plate in front of me. I thanked her and she blushed and nodded, not trusting herself to try talking at the moment. I turned my attention to the omelet, it was fluffy and was filled with diced tomatoes, spinach and peppers.

It was the best omelet I'd ever tasted.

Bella leaned across the counter, talking to Clair, her speech slowly smoothing out. I could feel her nerves settling, a small part of me was disappointed that I hadn't been the one to settle her down. Walking away, Paul.

I watched her as Clair and I ate. Once again, I wondered what had happened in her past, who had broken her so thoroughly. I couldn't fathom how anyone could ever hurt her, could ever even want to. Anger boiled deep inside. No, 'can't afford to get angry here. I swallowed and immediately thought of a question to distract myself.

"Du- Jacob mentioned you like to draw." I started, then internally cringed. Goddamn it, I'm catnip to women, why am I struggling now? I swallowed my frustration. "What do you like to draw?"

Bella turned her head to me in surprise. She looked down for a moment, then answered.

"Whatever I desire." She answered with determination. I couldn't understand why, but I could feel… resolution coming from her. This seems to be a hard topic for her, but why?

Did I offend her?

I had never had trouble charming women before, the fact that this bond made her different was frustrating.

"What do you desire?"

It had popped out without me even thinking.

She looked down again, then clenched her fist, slowly raising her gaze up to mine.

"Freedom."

Freedom? From what? Does she know about our bond? Does she feel as trapped as I do? I wracked my brain, I was not prepared for this outcome. I had been so sure that I had combed every memory of Dumb ass's, I was so sure he hadn't squealed-

"Done!" Clair exclaimed, placing her spoon down on her empty plate. "Kit-Kat!" She looked up towards me in expectation.

I was vaguely aware of Bella's quiet exhale of relief.

"Yeah, I did promise that, didn't I?" I sighed, then turned towards Bella. "I think she's ready for her movie now."

"Swan Lake!" Clair exclaimed.

"Uhm, w-well, she did eat all of her breakfast… I don't have a problem with it."

Clair hopped back down from the stool and took off for the living room with her doll. Bella gathered the plates and began to wash them in the sink as I gathered Clair's snack and her dvd. I turned back towards Bella.

"You don't need to do that, I'll take care of them after I start her dvd."

She looked over her shoulder.

"I-I'd rather do it, if it's okay."

"Sure, suit yourself."

I took the small bag of chocolate and the dvd into the adjacent room and started the movie while Clair eagerly rocked back and forth on the floor. Settled in with her candy and her movie, I quietly made my escape back into the kitchen.

Bella had just about finished washing the dishes.

I took a seat on the stool again.

"You didn't eat anything."

She looked up, surprised again.

"I- I didn't have much of an appetite."

"There's snacks." I gestured towards the table, too prideful to admit I'd bought them for her.

"I'm fine."

You could practically cut the tension with a knife.

"How about a drink then?" I asked.

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded. I stood and strode over to the fridge and pulled out two can's of the pop I'd bought earlier, handing her one as I took my seat again.

Her eyes lit up just a bit.

"Do you… like Dr. Pepper?"

"I love it." She answered.

Finally, a foothold.

"It's… the new flavor." I cracked open my can. "Do you like this one?"

She blushed. "I-I hadn't had the chance to try it yet."

"Oh, well, it's a good opportunity."

She followed suit and took a timid drink. I could tell through our bond that she greatly enjoyed it. I also took a drink, it was a bit sweet for my tastes, but it wasn't bad. I could see it catching on.

She stared down at her can, her hands wrapped around it. I could feel her nerves standing on end again, she has something on her mind. I patiently waited for her to voice her thoughts.

"I-I'm s-sorry, Paul."

I was taken back, for the shock of her apologizing to me, and for the knee jerk reaction hearing her say my name incited in me. A strained moment passed as I fought my warring emotions, as she glared down at her drink again.

Finally I composed myself.

"I'm the one who should have apologized, Bella, not you." I felt a similar reaction radiate from her through our bond. Damn it, Sam's right. I have to break this before it's too late. For both of us.

She glanced up at me again, the deep blush never left her cheeks.

"I- still. Uhm," she looked downwards again, making invisible circles in the counter with her index finger as she lightly fidgeted. "I- I never wanted to c-cause any trouble. F-for any of you."

I sighed. "You didn't- really." I was trying to tread carefully, I still wasn't sure how much she knew, how much damage could be caused through our bond if I said the wrong thing.

"I'd like to start over." I finally just spit out.

She looked up, taken back. Then, she smiled.

And my heart dropped.

"I… would like that, too."

Needing to ease the tension, I extended my hand towards her.

"Paul Lahote."

She hesitated, then gently reached out and took my hand in hers, a slight shake.

"Bella Swan." She answered, a slight smile on her lips.

The feeling of her soft, warm flesh against mine, it made my head spin. For that short moment, I could feel electricity between our hands. I quickly took my hand back before any more damage could be done. She lowered hers, a look of confusion on her face. Damn it, she felt it too.

"You… seem to be pretty close with Clair. Are you and Emily related?"

"No, the whole pack is just very well acquainted with her family, because of Sam. We're all kind of her big brothers."

"That's really sweet." We both looked down. "So, uhm, what do you do?"

"I'm a laborer for construction sites. I started as a young teen, working under the table for Ray, packing and laying shingles." I took a sip from my can. "What do you do?"

"I… I've worked several part time jobs in the past. I'm just trying to finish senior year."

"You turned eighteen in September, didn't you?" I asked, she gave me a strange look and I amended. "Du-Jacob mentioned it before."

She nodded but didn't say anything. Did I touch another sore subject? I sorted through my memories from various pack members. Didn't Dracula dump her on her birthday? Anger pulsed through me, sudden and unwelcome. I fought it back. Getting angry right now isn't going to make her better.

I took a deep breath.

"So, what are your plans after you graduate?"

I wasn't prepared for the sudden surge of raw emotion that hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to grip the counter to keep the tremors under control. Pain, anger, depression, fear, resignation. They all hit me hard and fast, I was practically seeing stars.

A strained moment passed as we both tried to collect ourselves.

"A-are y-you o-okay?" She asked, quiet, meek.

Are you okay?! I wanted to demand, where the hell did all that come from? I took a few deep breaths. How the hell was I supposed to explain this? Your depression's killing both of us, sister.

"I'm fine. Really." I raised a hand and scrubbed my face. Afterwards, I asked, "How about you? Are you okay?"

Her eyes began to water, fresh tears threatening to form. Damn it, wrong question. I wracked my brain, 'need to cheer her up, make her laugh….

"Stop me if you're heard this one." I began, she only stared back at me, fighting to keep her tears at bay, she nodded.

I continued.

"Three teens, boys, are playing basketball. Suddenly, they lose their ball down a gutter." I took another deep breath, still reeling from the surge. "They all decide to climb down together to get it. So they climb, and they climb, and they climb. The temperature gets hotter. And hotter. Surrounded by flames and bright red light, they find themselves in Hell, and standing by the gate is the devil, holding their ball.

'You can take your ball and leave', he says, 'if you can make it up the ladder without laughing.' The first boy tries, he gets a few rungs up when an old hag flashes her crack, and he falls off the ladder laughing his ass off. The second boy scoffs, and takes up the challenge, but the hag flashes him her other crack and he falls down, rolling in laughter.

So the Devil tells them to tell him what their father's do for a living. The first boy tells him his father is a carpenter, the devil takes a hammer, smashes his member and throws him in the flames. The second boy tells him his father is a lumber man, the devil takes an ax to his member, and throws him in the flames.

The third boy doesn't even touch the ladder, he doubles over in laughter, just wailing with it, the Devil demands to know what's so amusing. The boy say's, 'My father's a candy maker, Devil, you're going to have to suck my dick off!'"

She stared back at me, then burst into laughter.

I couldn't help but join her.

"Where the hell did you learn that one?" She asked between breaths.

"My father told it to me as a kid, when I demanded he tell me a joke."

Clair poked her head around the corner, her mouth smeared with chocolate.

"What's so funny? I wanna laugh too!"

Bella and I exchanged a look, then Bella turned her attention back to Clair.

"J-just the state of the union. Kinda lonely in there, huh?"

"Uh huh!"

"Why don't Uncle Paul and I join you then?"

"Yeah! Yeah!"

I internally groaned, but agreed. Time seemed to blur as Clair's mind numbing movie continued to play on screen, then was played again, and again, and a fourth time, all at Clair's insistence. I apologized to Bella for being dragged into Clair's marathon, but she assured me she was fine and that she had been the same way over her favorite shows as a kid, too. I noticed that at some point Bella had produced the sketchpad from her tote bag and busied herself drawing in it for the duration of the time, my curiosity burned but I felt that I had put her through enough for one day. Eventually she did put it down when Clair forced a doll into each of our hands and insisted we play with her. I was used to Clair's style of play, where she handed you a toy and told you exactly what she wanted you to do with it. I was worried, but Bella didn't seem to be bothered by it, she had no problem doing exactly as Clair demanded, or even saying exactly what Clair told her to say. Through our bond I could tell she was even having fun. She seemed to find the little shit as endearing as I did.

Before long, Emily returned home, asking how it went and if Clair was behaved. Bella told her Clair was an angel, and she hoped she would get to babysit her again.

Emily turned her attention to me.

"And were you behaved, Paul Lahote-?"

I tuned her out for a moment, a literal war waging inside me. Bella had left through the front door, making her way to her elderly truck.

"...-Paul?"

She was leaving. I mean, of course she was leaving, but somehow deep down, I felt like she was trying to leave me. It made no damn sense. I was against everything she was, everything she stood for, barely even seventy-two hours ago, now, in the course of those seventy-two hours….

No, I have to fight this. Feeling this way… am I running out of time?