**Author's Note** There is a quote in this chapter from 'Game of Thrones', just an fyi. Also, I keep my profile updated with my uploading schedule and any pertinent information :)
(Paul)
I shut off the engine and kicked the kickstand into place before I stepped off and helped Bella down. I gently helped her out of my extra helmet, leaving her in my leather jacket for warmth, then I took her hand in mine. As we had left the pizzeria, I had noticed the night sky was uncharacteristically clear, so I had decided to bring Bella back to the reservation, to one of our most scenic tourist attractions.
I guided her to the ledge and helped her sit down so she could dangle her legs with me over the cliff face, the highest cliff on our land. Together, side by side, we watched the stars for a solitary moment, felt the cool night breeze on our skin, admired the light of the moon as it reflected off of the dark turning water below us. Even sitting in silence, I felt like I was finally where I belonged.
I could feel that she was just as enamored with the sight as I was.
Finally, she broke our trance.
"It's beautiful, Paul." She breathed.
"This time of year, it's a good place to escape the real world for a while, quiet and all serene. 'Til summer, when tourists from all over the country add it to their hiking itinerary."
"I can see why."
"You're not much into hiking, are you?"
"No, I'm too damn clumsy," she chuckled, "but I do love nature, being surrounded by the wild foliage, away from everyone and everything- it's a sort of quiet you can't really find anywhere else." She paused, then sighed. "This would make a beautiful painting."
"I bet you could make anything a beautiful painting."
She blushed crimson. "I wish, but I'd love to give this place a try sometime."
"Well, since we're on the subject of nature, what's your favorite animal?"
She was taken back for a moment, but after a few seconds of thought, she answered. "Birds, I love birds."
"What do you love about them?"
"They're the embodiment of freedom, they know no limitations- not even the sky."
There's that word again, 'Freedom', what is making her feel so trapped? Is it the bond?
"Do you have a favorite kind?"
She thought about it some more.
"Blue jays."
"Because of their color?"
"Yes, that and because they're somewhat common, you don't see them everyday but you can encounter one once in a while and it's an absolute treat when you do." She paused for a moment, thoughtful. "I had a collection of feathers once, just rogue feathers I'd pick up anytime I was lucky enough to find one, but- I don't have them anymore."
"How come?"
I could feel another crack in her broken heart.
"It's just- one of those things." She finally answered, her eyes watered slightly.
Time for a subject change then.
"What's your favorite food?"
She perked up.
"Chocolate."
"Chocolate? What kind?"
"Any, but I especially love dark chocolate, it's such a delicious combination of sweet and bitter."
I'll keep that in mind.
"What about you? What's your favorite food?"
I thought for a moment.
"I'm pretty much a typical guy, I like meat." I paused for a moment. "I guess the whole wolf thing doesn't help in that area, I've never felt so hungry in my life since the first time I phased."
"Emily did mention that you guys eat a lot."
"We kind of have to, phasing alone takes a lot of energy and carbs, much less everything we do once we do phase, and phasing back to two legs is just as taxing."
"Jake said it hurts really bad the first time."
"It does- like all your bones are being broken and realigned all at once. Phasing always hurts, but nothing like the first time."
"So, what was it like- for you I mean? If you're okay with me asking…?"
"It was… frightening. Sam was the first one of us to wolf out and he'd been the only one for a while, then I wolfed out at work, I was the second." I shook my head remembering it. "Thankfully my boss was in on it and knew to contact Sam while I was, well, losing my goddamn mind, I was running on pure instinct. I didn't know it at the time, but Sam and the elders had been watching me for a while, looking for the signs."
"The signs?"
"Yeah, the signs, mostly a high fever, extreme, uncontrollable temper, things like that. Would have really appreciated a heads up, honestly, but it is what it is. Eventually Sam found me in the woods."
"What happened then?"
"Well, I was in pain, afraid and confused, I hadn't realized I was a wolf yet, like I said, I was running on instinct. And seeing Sam, my instinct made me think he was a threat so we ended up fighting. And since he was on four legs way longer than I had been, he kicked my ass."
She stared back at me with wide eyes, I could feel her curiosity burn through our bond, so I continued.
"Eventually he did calm me down and get me to see reason. Then a while later a few others wolfed out and I became his second in command."
"So Sam's the leader?"
"He's our alpha, mostly because he was the first. Jacob is genetically the true alpha, but he had no interest in taking over even though Sam offered to step down for him. Sam's a good, reliable leader, so it probably wouldn't have done Jacob a whole lot of good anyway."
"You don't get along with Jake." She stated. "Why is that?"
Damn, 'really don't want to answer that one.
"I… find him annoying. Kind of pretentious. He has a real bad habit of trying to take things that aren't his."
She eyed me curiously, but I'd had enough of the topic. I didn't like her thinking about Dumbass.
Suddenly, I was more aware than I had ever been of how close she was, and she seemed to have come to the same realization. Once again, I felt a pull towards her, towards her warmth, her beating heart, her sweet floral scent on the wind's breath….
"Bella-"
Paul, we've got a problem, a big fucking problem.
Goddamn it, Sam-
"Shit, wait here, okay?" I ordered as I stood up and quickly stalked towards the tree line, fighting the tremors and mentally arguing with Sam. I barely noticed her nod as she watched me with alarm.
This better be good, Sam.
Shit's hit the fan- we have two new members and they're both panicked and lost.
So? It's not like this doesn't happen regularly, y'know-
One of them is Leah Clearwater.
Leah? Really? No shit?
She's caused a lot of damage so far- apparently she'd been showing the signs but no one believed she would actually phase. No one can get a good enough look in her mind to see where she is, she's too panicked, and she's moving fast.
Alright then, I'll drop Bella off at your place and go get her.
Paul-
It's fine Sam, I'm the only other friendly face she has in the pack, and if you go after her you'll only make it worse. Just keep an eye on Bella for me.
Of course, just- bring her to me safe, Paul. Please.
You know I will.
I felt Sam leave my mind, it was an ability he had as the alpha of our pack, he could communicate in any of our minds at any time, even on two legs. He could also still hear the hive mind as a human, while the rest of us could only do so on four legs. It was annoying as all hell, but at least I could escape the hive mind when I phased.
I quickly returned to Bella and helped her to her feet.
"Something pack related has come up, so I'm going to take you to Emily's for a while, okay?"
"Uhm, sure, okay." She answered, but I could feel a twang of sadness return through our bond.
"I won't be long, okay?"
She blushed and nodded, not trusting herself to try speaking at the moment. Once I made sure she had the helmet on, I guided her back onto the back of my motorcycle and took off towards Sam's house.
Once we arrived I quickly parked by the curb and helped Bella back off of the back of my cruiser. Sam was eagerly pacing on his porch while Emily sat on the porch swing, anxiously wringing her hands.
"Please tell me she's going to be okay, Sam." Emily worried from her seat.
"Of course she will, we'll get her through this. I promise, Emily."
I guided Bella to the porch and she climbed the steps as I stayed standing in the yard.
"Who in all's gone to go get her?" I asked.
"No one, I wouldn't let anyone else go." Sam turned to glance at Emily. "We didn't trust anyone else."
"I wish you could go, Sam. I wouldn't be so worried if it were you." Emily spoke up from the porch.
"I know, but Paul has history with Leah, too." An edge to his voice, "Bring her to me safe, Paul."
"Just remember our deal, and what about the other new member?"
"Him, I didn't mind sending the other's after. It's Seth, they shouldn't have too much trouble calming him down."
"Alright, I'll get going then."
I turned and quickly made my way to the designated spot in Sam's yard for phasing, quickly undressed and phased then made my way towards the nearest tree line before breaking into a run.
In the hive mind I could hear the others as they were tracking down Seth, I ignored them and listened for the panicked thoughts with a female voice tone as I ran through the wilderness. Finally, I was able to pick up the thread of Leah's thoughts, but they were completely incoherent. Sam's right, she's in major panic mode right now.
Realizing her thoughts weren't going to be much help, I instead switched over to my base instincts, using my ears and nose to evaluate the growing density of the woods around me, keeping in mind the memory of Leah's human scent. After a while, I finally picked up a hint of her scent in the opposite direction as the other's and Seth's scents.
It wasn't really all that hard, she left a giant path of destruction and debris in her wake. I followed the trail she left and committed the scent of her wolf to memory.
Finally, I found her, deep in the wilderness, earnestly rolling around in the dirt in her stressed out state.
A million different thoughts raced through her head, mostly the pain she felt having phased for the first time. Finally her base instincts alerted her to my presence and she stood, took a defensive stance and growled.
Relax, Leah. It's me, Paul.
Paul?! Goddamn it, get out of my head you bastard!
She aggressively shook her head, trying to shake me out.
Doesn't work that way, Leah. Sorry.
Why is this happening?! What the hell have you done to me?!
Look- I didn't do anything to you, Leah. I'm just here to calm you down-
Where the hell are you anyway you coward?!
I'm literally right in front of you, Leah.
What-?!
She looked me up and down from her stance.
All I see is a giant dog- where are you, you bastard!?
I am the giant dog, Leah. And so are you.
What the fuck are you on?!
Look, okay? I'm in your head, and you're in mine, so try to focus on the sound of my internal voice, right now, okay? You'll be able to see through my eyes for a second- I'll show you what you look like right now.
She hesitated, but finally she obeyed. I felt her mind connect to mine for a brief second as I stared at her slender wolf.
Oh fuck you that's not me!
It is Leah, I promise.
I'm not a fucking dog-
Wolf. And you are now.
I saw you two fucking day's ago-
And I was human. Yeah, we can phase back and forth.
This is bullshit.
You're telling me sister.
So what the hell happened-? Why-?
Look, I know you have a lot of questions, but they'll have to wait until I get you back to Sam-
Sam?! Why fucking Sam?!
Because he's the alpha-
He's a whore-
Leah-
His dad's a whore-
Leah-
His grandma's a whore-
Leah!
Fucking what?!
He can hear you!
Tell him he's a bitch, too.
Oh yeah, you're going to be a fun addition to the pack.
No. No way in hell. I'm not joining his stupid fucking cult-
Listen, just let me take you to Sam-
He's a bitch-
Leah, please. Let me take you to him so we can get you back on two legs, okay?
Really? Human? Then it'll never happen again?
That's- let's just get you back on two legs, then we can all talk, okay?
I turned and reluctantly, she followed me.
Why did he do this to me? Hasn't he fucked up my life enough?
Leah, he didn't. No one did this to you.
I don't fucking understand.
I know you don't, so- just play nice so we can help you understand, okay?
Finally, we walked in silence. After a while she broke the silence.
How's my dad?
What do you mean?
I- he- I don't know. I was arguing with my mom in our living room, and- suddenly I felt my bones break, all at once. I screamed- and my dad- he clutched his chest- I don't know! I panicked and I left him and- he was having chest pains today-
I could feel sorrow and guilt radiate from her mind.
Look, Leah, I don't know anything about that, but we'll figure it out, okay? We'll get you back on two legs, then we'll get you back to your dad.
I just want to tell him I'm sorry. It was stupid.
What were you arguing about anyway?
The same shit we've been arguing about for the past year, my bitch cousin and my bitch ex and their bitch wedding. Everyone expects me to be her maid of honor, I'd rather she just fucked herself.
I'm sure it'll be okay, Leah. Really- it's not so bad once you realize what's happened, what it all means.
I don't give a shit about any of that, Paul. I just want to be human again- wait! Hold on, I need to check something-
We stopped and I turned around to find Leah behind me, with her snout buried in her fur.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5- Oh god I have six fucking nipples-!
I about fell over laughing.
This shit isn't funny Paul!
It is where I'm standing.
So help me God those better not be permanent!
I promise they're not, really, you'll be completely normal once you phase back, really!
I'll fucking skin you all if I'm not, Paul- I'm not fucking joking.
I continued to laugh, it sounded alien even to my own ears, I didn't even know we could laugh in this form.
Then we might want to pick up the pace, unless you want to spend some more time-
Shut the fuck up and take me to my bitch ex.
As you wish, Madam.
We continued our trek and finally I guided her back to Sam and Emily's house. Emily had gone back inside with Bella, leaving only Sam on the porch with a pile of clothes beside him.
"Leah-"
Eat my dick, Sam.
I broke out into another laugh.
"Glad you're having a good time, Paul."
Damn right I am.
"Leah, I know you're… feeling a lot of things right now, but let's start with getting you back on two legs, okay?" He turned his head to me. "Paul's going to go ahead and phase back so you can watch, it won't be so bad once you know what to expect."
Wait- is this going to hurt again!?
"Just this once, afterwards it won't be near as bad, you have my word."
What did you do to me you fucker?!
Sam sighed in aggravation.
"Leah- he told you, I didn't do anything to you. We'll talk, I promise, but first let's get you to phase back." He gestured towards me with his head. "Paul."
I hunkered down and cleared my mind, willing my wolf to pull back, and allowed the resulting tremors to take over. I felt the familiar rearranging of my bones as I phased back, it all happened in an instant, leaving me kneeling in the yard as a naked man.
Leah's eyes bulged.
"No, you can't just stay a wolf, Leah. Trust me, you want to phase back."
A pause.
"If you'd quit cussing me for five minutes-"
"Fine. One minute then."
Another small pause.
"No, our clothes rip every time we phase. You'll be naked too…. Damn it Leah, I didn't decide that!" He paused for a moment after she growled. "Fine, but Paul's staying to make sure you don't try to run off again." He turned to me. "Get her phased, get yourselves dressed and bring her into the house." He turned on his heel and stalked into the house.
I turned back to Leah with interest.
"I think you actually might have won that one." I began. "Listen, I'm going to turn around so you can have a little privacy, okay? Then I'll show you where we usually strip down and phase in Sam's yard before we head in- I have to get my own clothes anyway." I turned my back to her and patiently waited. After a few moments I noticed that I didn't hear anything. She must be having trouble.
"Remember when you watched me phase back? You gotta clear your mind first, that includes your rage. Your wolf's not going to allow you to phase back if you both feel like you're in danger."
I heard her whimper.
"Look, I won't lie, it's going to hurt, just like before, but I swear after this last time it won't hurt near as bad ever again, really. It's okay, you're a strong woman, Leah. I know you can handle it."
After another small moment I added, "I mean, if someone as weak, and cowardly as Sam can handle it…."
That did it, I heard her cry out as the tale tell sounds of her phasing back rang in my ear drums.
I could hear sobs break from her throat.
"It's okay, Leah, It's okay. I know, it hurts like a bitch the first time."
"I- feel- weak." She cried. "I've- never felt- so much pain- in my entire life."
I turned around to find her struggling with a pair of pants. I walked over to help her, grabbing the waistband of the sweat pants so she could lean on me.
"You're going to feel it for a few days."
She braced herself on my shoulder and cringed as she lifted a sore leg into the pant leg.
"How- many is- a few days?"
"It depends, no where in the history have we ever had a female pack member. I honestly don't know how long it'll be for you."
After a bit more struggling we finally managed to get her dressed in Emily's clothes. After I took her around the house to show her the area and dress myself, we both entered the house through the backdoor.
Emily and Bella had made themselves scarce, and Sam stood foreboding in the kitchen.
"Good, you managed to get her dressed. Leah-"
"Fuck- you, Sam."
Sam sighed in irritation.
"Leah-"
"I'm- not interested- in- your stupid-fucking cult." She gritted her teeth through the pain.
"You don't actually get a choice Leah, you're a member of the pack now."
"I refuse."
"There is no I refuse, you wolfed out, you're a member of the pack now."
"No, I'm leaving this fucking tribe, I'm leaving this fucking-"
"Leah. There is no 'lone wolf' option. 'When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives.'"
"Don't quote that stupid fucking dragon book at me, Sam."
"Well, Ned Stark had it right."
"Sorry to say it, Leah, but Sam is right. You don't even know what in all is out there, without a pack you'll die for sure."
"Don't know. Don't care. I'm leaving." Leah began to storm back out of the backdoor.
"Leah, sit." Sam pulled out a kitchen chair.
"Fuck you, Sam. I'm fucking le-" She argued as she turned around and obediently took her seat, then paused and looked down at the chair. "What the fuck?" She tried to stand back up but she couldn't, failing that she began trying to scoot the chair.
"Yeah, alpha order's are a bitch."
Sam turned towards me.
"This is going to be a long fucking night."