Dimitri hung up his phone, slipping it into his pocket before giving me a half-hearted smile. It was funny; we kept trying to put on a brave face for the other. I knew we were both hurting, but it was as if acknowledging that pain would somehow make it more real.

"That was Alberta," he announced. "She's ready to meet with us and discuss your options after this weekend. Are you up to that? If not, I can see if we can reschedule."

I smirked, shaking my head a little. "I appreciate your concern, but I think I'll be fine. Plus, we can't put it off forever. The clock is ticking, and we should probably figure this out sooner rather than later. I'd prefer not to be homeless next week."

He closed the distance and took my hand in his, giving me a serious look that left no room for cynicism. "You will not be homeless. I can guarantee that. Alberta wouldn't allow it. Your friends wouldn't allow it. I certainly won't allow it. We might be on a limited timetable, but you don't have to rush things either. Take your time. Don't feel obligated to plan your entire life in the next 48 hours. I promise we will figure things out, okay?"

'We.' I bit my tongue, doing everything I could to not point out how he kept using that word. Not 'you'll figure it out' or 'you'll get through this.' It was 'we.' Always 'we.' Did he notice? Was he purposely doing it? Was he simply letting me know that he had my back, just like he has since the first day we met?

Or maybe it was something more natural? Unconscious. Was it just a given now that there was no more 'you' or 'me' anymore? Perhaps that is just how things were now. We were an 'us.' A pair. A partnership.

Just the thought of that made me smile. "What would I do without you?"

"Doesn't matter," he said, pulling me close so he could wrap his arms around me before kissing the top of my head. "You have me. And no matter what happens, that will never change."

We had been able to keep a low profile earlier, traveling while my classmates were busy with the school day. Sure, we might have seen one or two people around, but not nearly enough to cause a stir simply by showing our faces in public. We weren't so lucky now.

Classes had let out a few hours ago. Dinner was just about to be served in the cafeteria. The entire student body was out and about and ready for a show.

Starring me as the dangerous and disgraced novice. Or former novice, I guess.

I still couldn't wrap my head around that.

Just like the first time Dimitri dragged me through this campus, the crowds parted for us. Once again, I could see the stares and hear the whispers.

"…she finally snapped…."

"…did you see what she did to him.…"

"Just keep walking." Dimitri's quiet reassurance rose above the gossip. "Don't worry about them."

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to raise my chin and stare straight ahead as I moved through everyone. It didn't matter what they said. I was fuckin' Rose Hathaway and I would not let them get the better of me. I would not hide. I would not back down.

From the corner of my eye, I caught someone step beyond the invisible barrier that the horde had created. Not far, but far enough for me to recognize that they were out of place. With all the tension around me, my body tensed for a fight before I realized who it was.

Eddie.

His look of confusion was unmistakable. As was his concern. My memories of yesterday at the pond weren't entirely clear, but I did remember him pulling me off Jesse. He had screamed for me to stop and calm down as I fought against him, but I didn't. I couldn't. Dimitri eventually took over, but Eddie had been the first to stop me on my path to destruction. He might have been the one who ended up saving Jesse's life because there was no doubt that I would have killed him if Eddie hadn't stepped in.

I glanced at him, looking closely enough to see the shadow of a black eye. Even though I couldn't remember things very well, I was pretty sure the injury was my fault. Would the guilt ever stop piling on? I doubted it. Not for a long, long time.

As he took another step forward, I shook my head. Not much, but just enough to tell him, "keep back; you don't want to be associated with me."

It wasn't just him I was worried about, either. I also didn't want Lissa and Christian to suffer for my actions. I'm sure I had caused enough problems for them. I didn't want things to get worse for anyone just by being seen with me.

As far as I knew, field experience was still going on as if nothing had happened. That meant that if Eddie was around, Lissa was sure to be nearby as well. I'm sure Christian was also hanging close, even though I couldn't see either of them. I needed Eddie to get them out of here. They shouldn't have to witness my walk of shame, and if Lissa saw me, I was sure she would try to get to me. I needed her far, far away until all this was over.

Eddie seemed to understand my unspoken plea. He stepped back among the crowd, disappearing and hopefully taking the other two with him.

There was a brief moment of relief before a first shout rang out.

"Psycho!" someone screamed. Others began to echo his accusation.

"Savage!"

"Maniac!"

More and more names rang out, one after the other, creating a condemning mob. Perhaps it would be easier to ignore if I didn't agree with them. They weren't wrong. Yesterday, I had been a deranged monster hell-bent on murder. And while I knew that my rampage was caused by Spirit darkness, that didn't make what they were saying any less valid.

I felt my steps falter a moment until Dimitri's hand came to rest on my lower back. He pushed me forwards a little, urging me on. "Just a little further."

We reached the entry steps and sped up, Dimitri taking them two at a time and me racing to keep up with him. Eventually, he pulled the front door open. As I slipped in, I felt the roar of the horde outside quiet to a murmur. I was worried that they might actually follow us inside, but they seemed content to keep their fury out in the courtyard.

The moment we were out of view, I found the first bench I could and dropped into it with a thud as my face fell into my hands. My heart raced almost as if I had run a marathon, and no matter how much I tried, I struggled to catch my breath. I had managed to stay pretty calm outside, but now that I wasn't dodging verbal arrows, I suddenly felt dizzy.

I really didn't want to have another panic attack.

I half expected Dimitri to sit beside me. I almost hoped he would so I could hide my face in the leather of his duster for a minute or two. I'm not sure when it happened, but somewhere in the past few months, the scent had started to feel calming to me. However, when I looked up at him, he was about a couple of feet in front of me, shielding me as he would a charge. I caught sight of his hand as it practically vibrated with the need for action. To fight. His attention rotated between watching me with anxiety and scanning up and down the halls with a barely concealed scowl.

"You okay?" I asked, watching as his professional mask melted away with every passing second.

"Am I okay? I should be asking if you are okay." His voice echoed slightly in the empty hall making his frustration that much more unsettling. I knew he wasn't mad at me, but the fact that he seemed ready to go toe to toe with anyone who even looked in this direction made me nervous. He was always so calm and collected, and it seemed wrong for him to be so close to the edge. "I shouldn't have brought you here. We could have just as easily had this meeting in guest housing. You shouldn't have been subjected to all that."

"I'm fine, Dimitri."

He didn't look convinced in the slightest.

"Seriously. I'm okay." I tried to reassure him with a little grin, but I knew it was half-hearted at best. When he still didn't seem satisfied, I fell back on my sarcasm. "At least they didn't have pitchforks or anything."

He didn't crack a smile at my lackluster joke, but the fact that I was well enough to even attempt some form of humor appeared to pacify him. At least a little.

"Come on." He extended his hand to me and helped me to my feet. "Let's get this over with."

I knew we were supposed to be meeting with Alberta. I didn't expect to see my mother standing there as well. And if her frown was anything to go by, she was not thrilled to see me.

"Rosemarie."

No 'hello," or 'how ya holding up?' Nope, just my name and a look that reeked of disappointment.

"Hi, Mom." I awkwardly waited to see if I should hug her or something, but in the end, she ignored me and took one of the chairs in front of Alberta's desk. That was fine, I guess. My relationship with my mother had always been tense. There was a time when radio silence from her was a relief because any contact was a sign that I was in trouble. Things had been gradually getting better after Spokane, but it looked like this was the final straw and would set us back further than ever before. Maybe permanently.

Honestly, the fact that she was here at all was impressive. Considering everything that happened, I wouldn't have been surprised if she had just outright disowned me and never spoke to me again.

She looked at Alberta and cleared her throat. "So let's see. I can take a week off, maybe two, to help Rosemarie set up a new place. We just need to find a suitable location."

Apparently, we were just gonna get down to business. Somehow I already felt like I was two steps behind the others.

I quickly took the other chair by the desk and tried to catch up. While I couldn't see Dimitri, I could feel his presence standing just a short distance behind me. Part of me wished for his touch. I didn't need him to hold my hand or anything, but something would be nice. I wasn't sure why, but I always felt stronger with him next to me.

My mother pressed forward in her all-business, no-nonsense attitude. "I believe that Court would be the best option. I have connections there, and I can check I'm on her from time to time."

Before I could mention Adrian's offer, Alberta cut in.

"There's a slight problem with that plan, unfortunately." Alberta shuffled a few papers, handing one to my mother, who gave it a once over before she passed it on to me. I could feel Dimitri leaning over my shoulder to read it as well. We shared a quick glance before setting it back on the desk. It wasn't good news.

In fact, it was very, very bad news.

"As you can see, Janine, they've decided to bar Rose from Court as well." I could hear the twinge of anger behind Alberta's frustration and concern, but she seemed to be masking it for my mother's sake. Or maybe for my sake. "I've put in a petition with my personal testimony that Rose is not a real danger to anyone, but the Zeklos boy's father is a lawyer with a grudge against her. He's drawn up a restraining order of some sort, so I'm not sure if my word would sway him or the School Board."

Dimitri spoke up. "I'd be happy to add my testimony to that as well, Guardian Petrov."

Her lips thinned into a tight grimace that didn't seem to show faith in the endeavor before saying, "Dimitri, please, there's no need for formalities right now."

He gave a sharp nod at the gentle rebuke. I had seen the two of them speak casually before, so that wasn't odd in and of itself, but it wasn't until Alberta's eyes accidentally slipped towards me that I realized what was happening. Every other person in this room held a title that I never would. I guess she felt the need to spare me the reminder. I knew she had good intentions, but her sympathy made it worse.

Not everyone was so sympathetic to my current situation, however.

"I wish I could be more upset at them for denying her entry, but I understand where they are coming from." My mom leaned back and crossed her arms, still not bothering to address me. "Rose did give them a good excuse to do so. She got angry, lost control, and attacked a Moroi. They have every right to worry about her."

My nails bit into my fists as I clenched them. I was pretty sure there would be little half moons permanently etched into my skin by the time this was over. Technically, mom was right. I felt the need to defend myself and tell her that it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't really deny those base facts.

"Janine…"

"Guardian Hathaway, if I may." Dimitri interrupted Alberta's protest while defying the whole 'no formalities' thing. I'm sure everyone noticed, but it didn't seem smart to call him out on it. After all, he was speaking to the famed Guardian Hathaway. The one and only. Unfortunately, even the polite use of her title didn't seem to save him from all her unpleasantness. She stared at him in annoyance while he continued. "Rose's actions were beyond her control. The extent of her reaction certainly was."

"Self-control has never been my daughter's strong suit." She raised her brow and her forehead wrinkled in disbelief. Mom's faith in me was apparently at an all-time low.

"This was beyond self-control, ma'am. As I'm sure you are aware, your daughter is bonded to Princess Vasilisa. Vasilisa's element, Spirit, is still unknown to us for the most part. We've recently learned that the use of that magic causes severe mental and emotional side effects for the user. Anxiety, depression, mania, and yes, even violent outbursts." His voice became more stern, even though he kept the same respectful tone. "Your daughter, in an attempt to protect the princess, had been taking on some of those negative effects rather than letting the princess suffer. They ended up hurting her instead. Rose was defending the princess from an active attack when those side effects overcame her."

Mom barely reacted, though she didn't contradict his claim. Dimitri's defense didn't seem to absolve me completely, but it apparently made my plight a tad more reasonable.

"Your daughter isn't a danger, despite what others may think," he told her. "She's a good friend and a good guardian."

My mother shook her head. "My daughter isn't a guardian, and now never will be. That opportunity is no longer on the table." At least this time, her words weren't meant as an insult. They were just the facts. Brutal facts, but facts just the same. "The real question now is, 'what's next?'"

"What about Missoula?" Alberta had been quiet for a while, but she brought us back on track. "Same idea; I can help her set up a little and check on her from time to time. She should be able to get a job, an apartment, and she can even attend the university there."

I took a shaky breath as they continued to plot and plan around me. I had planned on living my life alongside Lissa — going where ever she went, taking whatever classes she took, watching her raise her kids and being the unofficial auntie. That was the plan. The only plan.

The idea of getting a job alone, or finding an apartment alone, or going to school alone? It was all so overwhelming. A single word just kept swirling in my mind: alone.

Alone was terrifying.

I didn't want to be alone. Not yet.

I glanced at Dimitri in the corner behind me. He was silent, watching me rather than saying where I should go and what I should do with my unexpected life. In his eyes was a message:

You don't have to be alone. You don't have to do this on your own.

"What do you think, Rose?" His question wasn't pushy, but compassionate.

"About what?"

"What would you like to do? Where would you like to go?" He said, rephrasing the question. The others shifted their focus towards me, suddenly interested in what he was asking. "All of this has been forced on you, but you can have a choice now. What would you prefer?"

I stuttered for a moment, looking between all three of them before settling again on Dimitri's comforting gaze. "I...I don't know. I've never had to think about any of this before."

He didn't offer any specific insight as I tried to consider things. Part of me wanted to let him decide for me. I would certainly take some pressure off my shoulders. I could just walk the path that someone else designed and call it good. That's what I had been planning on before, right?

Plans changed, though. Now it was up to me.

When I spoke, I spoke directly to Dimitri. "I want to go to Russia."

Author's Note

There you have it, people. Rose will be moving to Russia. I know a few of you wanted her to take Adrian's offer so that she could stay close to the gang, but it'll be interesting to see what challenges a long-distance relationship goes through. Fun fact about me: my husband and I spent most of our pre-marriage relationship in a long-distance relationship. Out of the four years we dated before getting married, just under three and a half were spent apart.

Question of the Week: What three things do you think of the most each day?

For me, it's probably my writing (this story and the first draft I'm working on), my family, and what I'm going to eat next. Rose and I have that in common; food is always a good motivator throughout the day.