DPOV

The next morning eventually came for us both. I had already been up an hour, holding Rose asleep in my arms while the minutes ticked down. My alarm would ring soon, but I wasn't ready. There was no way I'd ever be ready to let her go. I wasn't sure when I'd get the chance to hold her like this again, so I considered each moment my last, and when the alarm finally went off, I selfishly prayed for a few minutes more.

Rose tucked her head into me closer, also hiding from the noise. She never was an early riser, and I'm sure our late night last night didn't help things any. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but I knew she'd be tired later. I kissed the top of her head, breathing in the smell of her—of us together—before saying the words I wish I didn't have to.

"Time to get up, Rose. We need to get you to the airport."

A small, choked sound came from where Rose rested against my chest, and while I was sure it was just a muffled protest at being woken up, the sound was heartbreaking. I brushed her hair away from her eyes as a ray of early-morning sunshine fell across her face. "You have a few minutes if you want to shower, but you'll have to be quick."

She shook her head as she stood, still making her way to the bathroom but only to brush her teeth and pick up her toiletries. Kneeling beside the bed, she opened her luggage and shoved everything into her bag without looking at me. I knew it was just misplaced anger, but I needed her not to lock me out. Not now.

"Rose."

She didn't respond, instead focusing on the zipper of her suitcase.

"Roza, come here. Please?" I spoke a little louder, hoping to get through her stubbornness.

Her loose hair created a curtain around her face that hid her from me as she continued to ignore me. Why did she have to be so frustrating? Especially now.

"Damn it, Rose!" My voice was too firm, too loud. I knew it was just misplaced anger, but I was too desperate to care.

She paused, body tensing for a moment before she slowly met my eyes. They were bloodshot, and a trail of silent tears painted her cheeks. Her lip trembled as she crossed her arms over her body as if it would protect her from what was on the horizon. She looked miserable. If I was desperate, she was demolished.

I rushed towards her, falling on my knees as she succumbed to everything.

"I'm so sorry, Roza. I shouldn't have snapped. I'm sorry." I apologized for my error immediately. It was more than that, though. I had wanted her to come to me, but I should have been the one to go to her. I had selfishly demanded her attention when I should have recognized her need and offered my comfort first. I rocked her in my arms, holding her tight against me as I tried to reassure her. "It'll be alright. I promise."

"I can't do this," she cried, the words muffled against my shirt as she sobbed. "I can't leave. I don't know how to do this on my own."

"You're strong, Rose. So strong." I pulled back, dipping my head until we were face to face. She tried to look away, but I touched her cheek and forced her eyes back to mine. "Remember? It's one of the reasons I love you. You can do this. You're brave. And you aren't on your own. You have lots of support behind you, even if you don't always see it. My family will be there to help you. To take care of you. Do you think I'd trust just anyone to keep you safe while we figure out what comes next? Do you really think I'd abandon you like that?"

She shook her head, but there was still a hint of fear and uncertainty behind her expression. Perhaps I should have been offended that she would doubt me, but there was no room for pride. I needed her to know. To understand. Taking her hands in mine, I made her a vow. "I may not be right there beside you, but I'm always with you. You call me, and I'll answer. You need me, and I'll find a way. I'm yours and you're mine. I take care of what's mine. I take care of those I love. And I love you, Rose."

Check-out from the hotel was silent. The drive to the airport was silent. Everything was marked with painful, unbearable silence. But what was there to say?

I parked the car, slipping enough change in the meter for the full two hours it allowed, even though I knew I'd only really be able to stay with her for thirty minutes or so. It was false hope, but I clung to it anyway.

The airport was fairly small, all things considered, but thankfully it wasn't very busy. As we went to check her into her flight and drop her bags off, I shifted us into the line marked 'first class.' Rose looked at me in question, then in disbelief. It wasn't until I actually showed her the digital boarding pass that she believed me.

"How?" She asked, tension filling her body. First-class tickets weren't cheap, and international first-class tickets were even more pricy. Money had never really been a topic of conversation between us, but it was no secret that a guardian's pay was paltry.

"Adrian," I answered simply. "It's a long flight, and he wanted to do something to make you feel a bit more comfortable."

A look of relief crossed her features, and her shoulders relaxed a little. "That was kind of him. Please tell him I said 'thanks.' Or I guess I could text him." She pulled her new phone out before realizing the time. It was morning for us, but curfew at the Academy would be in another hour or so. While Adrian wasn't bound by the Academy's rules, that didn't change the fact that it would still be late for them. She slipped the phone back into her pocket. "Maybe tomorrow."

After her bags were taken care of, I pulled her toward one of the many benches lining a wall of windows. We could see planes taking off in the distance, but I didn't pay attention to them. I focused only on her. I wasn't ready to let go, and the security lines at this particular airport were blissfully short. I'd have at least a few more minutes with her than I had initially thought, and I was going to take advantage of every moment I could.

"Your stake is in your bag, right?"

"The checked bag, yes." She assured me with a nod.

"Good." It was ridiculous to be anxious about her safety right now—it's not like Strigoi would hijack the plane—but I wished she could have carried it on her. "I know it's not what you're used to, so I'll mail one of the standard issue ones as soon as I get back to the Academy, alright?"

Part of me wanted to just hand her the one currently secured to my hip. Most airports employed an Alchemist who could help us get our stakes past security, but that was a privilege only given to sanctioned guardians. I eyed one of the security guards, the lily tattoo on her face just barely visible when the sunlight crossed over her cheek. Maybe if I talked to them?

I shook off the idea. In general, alchemists barely tolerated our kind. The chance that they'd be willing to make an exception to the concealed carry rule was nonexistent.

I saw her trying to insist that she'd be fine without a stake, so I quickly took her hand. "I need to know you're safe. Please."

I didn't want to mention the occasional nightmares that still haunted me from the last time we had been in Spokane. I had left her alone and vulnerable then and almost lost her because of it. I hated the thought of leaving her to fend for herself, but at least I could give her a weapon to help her fight if needed.

She didn't protest after that, and I brought her hand to my lips. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen, I thought.

"Sucky beginning, right?"

I raised an eyebrow in question, surprised that she had basically read my mind, and she ended up laughing. It sounded a bit like the one from that first day in Alberta's office, where she had seemed amused but slightly off. I realized quickly that it was some sort of a defense mechanism, her way of trying to make things okay when they weren't.

"I mean, it's a pretty sucky beginning to this relationship," she paused. "Or whatever this is. We fought all of this for months, and when we finally decided that it wasn't worth ignoring and denying what we both wanted, it just...falls to pieces." She chuckled again, but there was a dark tone of annoyance underneath. "We literally worried about being too close for any of this to ever work out, but it ends up being the total opposite. They throw me out on my ass instead. I'll never be a guardian for anyone, much less Lissa. I'm moving halfway around the world from you. This...this sucks."

I had to let out a small, bitter laugh of my own, acknowledging every little truth she had just laid out. It really did suck. "You're right. We fought this relationship tooth and nail. And that is what this is, by the way. A relationship." I side-eyed her for even questioning that fact, even though I knew I was partly to blame for how I had handled our feelings for so long, giving in and denying them in turn. It was a miracle that she was patient enough to stand by me. "I'm sorry I didn't give us a chance sooner. I know a lot of that was on me, and while I can't take that back, I can try to fix that mistake going forward. But I guess it comes down to one question — we fought this before; are we ready to fight for it now?"

"Yes." She didn't hesitate to answer, and my heart felt lighter.

"It's going to be tough. There's no denying that. But we're tough, too. We are stronger than our challenges, especially together. We're partners, you and I. I think we were always destined to be one way or another." I couldn't help myself. I tucked her hair back and leaned my forehead against hers. I wasn't one to believe in fate before, but she changed things for me. She changed everything. "I'm so lucky, so grateful, to have you as my partner. I have your back, and I know you have mine, too."

She smiled, let out a lingering hum, and echoed our promise from last night. "I'm yours, and you're mine. Forever."

"Forever," I agreed.

But forever, at least forever by her side like this, she had to pause for the moment. She needed to get to her gate sooner rather than later, and she knew it as well as I did.

"I have to go, Dimitri. It's time."

I nodded. Somehow it was more painful to hear Rose say the words than it was for me to speak them. I didn't want to hear her say goodbye, so I found her lips and took them with my own. Despite the myriad of people around us, I kissed her softly for everything we had shared. Then desperately for everything we'd miss, Then soft again in a promise for more to come. I wanted to keep her with me even though I knew I couldn't, and that warred within me as I stood and offered my hand to help her stand. I ended up pulling into a hug simply because I could. And because I soon wouldn't be able to any longer.

Her words from before weighed heavy in my heart now. 'I can't do this. I don't know how.'

All I could think was, Neither do I.

We didn't say goodbye. Somehow we just decided that we didn't need to.

Plus, this wasn't goodbye. Not really.

I did tell her that I love her and felt it in my soul as the words brought a little smirk to her face. It was that playful grin that she gave any time she wanted to tease me. I took a picture of it in my mind, burning that simple image of her happiness into my memory.

"I love you, too."

Our fingers lingered as she stepped back towards the security line, holding on until we had no choice but to let go. I watched as she moved through security. Her head shifted to the side a few times, but she never turned towards me. I watched as she gathered her bags again and retied her shoes, once again never looking back. And I watched as she stepped on the escalator that slowly lifted her to the place where I'd eventually lose sight of her.

And right there, right on that brink of losing her, she looked at me and smiled.

The drive back to the Academy was long, and trying to fill the silence with music didn't alleviate the agonizing pit of emptiness inside me. Nothing could soothe the pain of knowing that I had just left her behind. I tried not to watch the time, focusing on the road instead, but somehow I managed to glance at the clock just as the time flipped to 10:20, the time listed on her ticket for take-off. I wasn't sure why, but that hit me harder than expected, and I had to pull to the side of the road to breathe. Perhaps it was because it was real now? Up until a few minutes ago, I could have turned around, called her, and begged her to come back to me. Once those wheels left the tarmac, though, she was out of my reach.

The rest of the drive left me feeling numb. Eventually, the gates of the Academy loomed over me, but I still felt nothing. Even though I had lived there for well over a year, it wasn't home for me. Especially not now. This place had felt like nothing more than a transfer location before Rose made her way into my life. It was Rose that had made the Academy feel like home. She made it feel like a place where I belonged.

Now, as I returned the car and began to walk the familiar paths through the meticulously designed courtyard, it became clear that I didn't belong here at the Academy. I belonged with her.

Being with her wasn't an option, though.

Though I had no interest in talking to anyone, I recognized that I wasn't the only one missing Rose or concerned about her right now. It was still light out, so Lissa and the others would be asleep in their dorms, but I would bet that there was at least one person who was waiting to speak with me.

Technically, she wasn't the school's concern anymore after what had happened. Still, Alberta would always care about Rose and her well-being. Something that was confirmed when I knocked on her office door.

"Come in!" she called out. Sunlight filtered through the trees outside, giving her otherwise mundane office a peaceful glow.

"I just wanted to let you know that Rose made her flight." I didn't bother with any niceties, ready to simply pass on the message and return back to my apartment.

"Thank you for telling me." Alberta nodded, thankfully ignoring my brisk attitude. Now that I had said my peace, I was ready to go, but Alberta stopped me. "And was she okay?"

I eyed one of the chairs in front of her desk, wondering if the conversation would be long enough to justify me sitting down. Between the switch to daylight hours, the long night, and the nearly four-hour drive, I felt exhausted. I decided against it, not wanting to extend the conversation any more than absolutely necessary.

"She was as fine as anyone could expect her to be. I wouldn't say she was happy to be leaving, but she's brave. Strong." Stronger than me in many ways. "She'll be alright. My mother will meet her at the airport to take her back to Baia."

"How long is the flight?"

"Including the layover in Seattle, it will be about 21 hours of travel. Plus another three hours from Novosibirsk to Baia. She hopefully can sleep through some of it."

She nodded again, and it was only then that I realized how red her eyes were. Alberta was nearly as talented as I was when it came to holding back our emotions, but concerning Rose, it seemed like we were both weak. "Thank you for taking her to the airport. I probably should have -"

I cut her off. "You had responsibilities here, Alberta. Plus, I was happy to have a little extra time with her."

"I'm sure." The thin line of her lips softens a little, almost hinting at a smile if you really looked for one. "I must confess, I was a little upset when I was told that you two left early, but looking back, I think I could see that Rose was done with everything the night of her farewell party."

I didn't contradict her suspicion. "I don't mean to be rude, but if there isn't anything else…" I let my question fade, hoping that I could find a bed soon. Or maybe some food. I don't think I had anything to eat since last night, and while the idea of food made me a little nauseous, I knew I needed to take care of myself.

"Oh!" She pulled something from her desk drawer before stepping around to hand me an envelope. "This came for you."

The stamped envelope was directed to me but addressed to the school at large rather than specifying my apartment number. Whoever sent it knew where to find me, just not where to send the letter. Anyone I knew who would send me mail would have known my direct address, so I couldn't imagine who it might have been from.

Perhaps I should have waited until I had a little more privacy, but curiosity overwhelmed me. Carefully, I slipped my finger under the flap and tore it across the top crease. All that was inside was a cheque, but my eyes widened at the number inscribed on it.

It was over half a year of my salary. Well over. There was no indication as to who might have sent it, with the only information about the benefactor being some sort of company that I didn't recognize based out of Pennsylvania. It had to be a mistake. I was about to tell Alberta such when I noticed the memo line.

"Consider the debt paid."

Everything else had been printed off a computer, but that line and the illegible signature were written in pen. I wasn't sure what the message meant, but something inside me told me that it was intentional. Whoever sent this meant for it to end up in my hands.

Why, though, was a mystery.

"Everything okay?" Alberta wasn't the nosy type to be sticking herself in other's business when it didn't concern her, but even she seemed curious.

I placed the cheque back into its envelope and then slipped the whole thing into the deep pocket of my duster. I'd consider the mystery tomorrow after I got some rest.

"Everything's fine." Something I had realized on the drive back struck me again. "Do you know if the guest suite has been cleaned yet?"

Alberta's brow furrowed. "I don't believe so. You still have the key, correct? I think they'll turn it over once you return it. Why?"

"I just forgot my book and wanted to grab it. It shouldn't take long." It was probably still on the nightstand. We had left so quickly that morning, I had forgotten it and left it behind.

"That's fine. You can bring the keys back tomorrow." Alberta strode back behind her desk, grabbed a small pile of papers, tapped the stack against the desktop to align them, and placed them in the same drawer she had been storing the cheque earlier. Then she slipped her phone into her pocket. "Now, if you don't mind, I believe we both could use some rest. Have you eaten?"

When I shook my head, I saw some of her more maternal concern come out. She almost sounded like my mother as she gently scolded me. "Get some food before you leave. It was lasagna tonight, and I'm sure you can grab some extra to take back to your place for tomorrow. Good night, Dimitri."

"Good night, Alberta."

While I got a few pitying looks, I was able to dodge any guardians who might be bold enough to approach me. My romantic relationship with Rose wasn't common knowledge (though I'm sure there were some who suspected something between us); however, my relationship with Rose as her mentor was enough for many people to feel sorry for me.

I was so distracted, I didn't see Adrian leaning against the wall next to the guest room until I was close enough to touch him. A clear bottle with Cyrillic proudly displayed across the gold label dangled from his fingertips as he gave me an expectant look.

I sighed, trying to maintain a speck of decorum as I addressed him. "Forgive me, Lord Ivashkov, but I'm not really in the mood to deal with you at the moment."

"Lord Ivashkov? You must really be out of it." His brow lifted at my formality. "I'm not here to poke the bear, though. I just figured that you might need a drink." He lifted the bottle, shaking it. It was still pretty full, but the seal had been broken. "You'll have to forgive me. I might have started without you."

"I'm not sure drinking away my troubles isn't the best way to go about things right now." The lock on the door released with a little 'click.'

"Au contraire mon frère. I'm pretty sure it's exactly what you need right now."

When I didn't budge, he let out a groan. "Come on, Belikov. I'm trying to toss you a bone. A peace offering. Just one drink, and then you can go brood or whatever it is you do. What do you say?"

I leveled my eyes at him, looking for any sort of trick in his apparent kindness. He actually seemed somewhat sincere in his offer. Perhaps more strangely, he looked a bit concerned. And determined.

"Fine," I agreed, putting up a finger. "One drink. Then you leave me alone. Got it?"

"Scouts honor." He gave me a weak salute.

"You were never a boy scout." I opened the door to room 205 just wide enough to throw my bag in without having to acknowledge that it was otherwise empty. When I turned around, I was met with a lopsided smirk.

"And you were probably the leader of the troop, weren't you?"

I should have known that Adrian wouldn't be content with just one glass. When we got to his guest room, he urged me to one of the two lounge chairs near the shaded window and I noticed that not only were two tumblers set out for us, but he also had a plate of zakuski on the side table. I grabbed one of the rounds of cured meat, popping it into my mouth while Adrian filled our glasses. Drinking on an empty stomach was a horrible idea, but now that I was here, the idea of letting liquor relieve the pain was a bit more tempting.

I briefly remembered the last time I had drunk myself numb: the day after Ivan's funeral. I hadn't handled losing my best friend very well back then, and it appeared like I couldn't handle it responsibly now.

Adrian handed me one of the crystal tumblers, and as I took it, he lifted his own up in salute.

"To Rose," he proclaimed, tapping the rim of his glass against mine. "Cheers."

"За все хорошее."

Both of us tipped our drinks back, downing at least half of what he had poured. The vodka was quality enough to savor neat, but savoring was the last thought on my mind. As Rose had once put it, I was ready to get "fucked up." Screw responsibility. Screw decorum or professionalism. Honestly, fuck being a guardian at all tonight. Tonight I was just a man who sent the love of his life halfway around the world without him.

Adrian automatically filled it again without me needing to ask. While I took this one slower, I didn't hesitate to finish it again. I wasn't sure where Adrian had procured his contraband, but at least he had opted for the good stuff.

Thankfully, Adrian didn't press me for conversation. He was happy to keep the silence away while we drank, rambling about inane things that I couldn't care less about. It wasn't until he mentioned Rose again that I bothered paying attention again.

"So," he hazarded, employing his considerable talent for keeping my glass filled. I couldn't even count how many drinks I had because he had never allowed me to see the bottom. "I'm assuming my chances with Rose have gone from slim to none?"

My lips and inhibitions were always a bit looser when I was tipsy, so I didn't even hesitate. "You never stood a chance with her, Adrian. She's too good for you."

"True," he laughed, not taking even the slightest offense that the cold hard truth. "But to be fair, she's too good for you, too."

Valid. I lifted my glass in acknowledgment, letting him mimic the toast before we both threw the liquid back again.

He hissed at the burn. It wasn't as strong as the stuff back home, but that didn't mean that there wasn't still a bite to it. "Seriously, though. Are you two really together now, or are you still playing the 'honorable good guy' card and ignoring how completely crazy you are about her."

"We're together." It was strange to finally tell someone because while the official relationship was technically new, it felt like it had been there the whole time. Perhaps the fact that I no longer cared if people knew also played into that strangeness. "Ironically, it was only after the darkness, when I realized how close I was to losing her, that I finally got my shit together and just accepted it."

This didn't seem to surprise him. "Are you going to tell the others? I mean, I'm pretty sure that people will figure it out on their soon enough, but are you going to be open about all of it?"

I hadn't thought much about that. As he said, I figured some people would put two and two together if they hadn't already. However, it wasn't really my place to announce our relationship, especially to Rose's friends. I wouldn't lie if they asked me directly, though. I was done denying things.

"I'll let Rose tell Lissa and the others when she's ready. Alberta already knows, and I'm pretty sure a few of the other guardians do too," Yuri, specifically, "but it is what it is. Does it really matter what people think anymore?"

Adrian almost looked proud for a moment. "Not at all."

Several hours and nearly an entire bottle later, I knew I should probably leave. The sun was starting to set beyond the treeline, and even though I wasn't working a shift later, I had already had more than enough alcohol to fill my system and earn me a decent hangover.

"You are welcome to crash here if you need to," Adrian offered, letting me grab one last pickle from the zakuski platter before taking it and the tumblers to the nearby sink. While the room Rose and I had stayed in was similar to a hotel room, Adrian's was more of a suite, complete with a living space and kitchenette. "I can't promise that the couch is comfortable, but it still might be better than walking all the way to Guardian Housing."

He was right, but thankfully I still had access to the other room here.

I pulled the keys from my back pocket. "I'm good. But if you have any painkillers, I might take a couple of those."

He reached into one of the cabinets, grabbed a small white bottle, and tossed it my way. I caught it, but just barely. I eyed the vodka bottle again, wondering just how much I had actually drunk tonight. It took quite a bit to affect my reflexes like that. I dumped a small handful of pills into my palm, dry swallowing four before slipping another four into my pocket. Waking up in a few hours was going to be hell, but it was going to suck anyways, so why not add a hangover into the mix. Not trusting myself to toss them back and actually hit my intended target, I met Adrian near the fridge. He traded me the bottle of pills for a bottle of water.

"You good?" is all he asked.

"Better, at least." It wasn't clear whether or not we were talking about my drunken state or my heartbroken one. "Thank you, Adrian."

I finally left, unsure if Adrian and I would ever acknowledge the private memorial we had shared over the night. I was genuinely grateful for the companionship, especially since I didn't have many people here that I could speak to openly and without judgment. Still, the change in our relationship was a little too strange to consider in my current state.

I did my best not to think too much as I opened the door to the room Rose and I had shared, but as I collapsed on the bed, I was struck with the realization that the sheets still somehow smelled like her shampoo. I held on to that thought as exhaustion finally overtook me and I passed out.

Author's Note

Hey guys! Miss me? I missed all of you.

Rose and Dimitri finally say goodbye...or not, because This Is Not Goodbye (see what I did there?) But it is a bittersweet farewell for a short time. Now we'll get to see how they adapt to this new situation, grow as individuals, and build their relationship as best they can. This story will take place over the course of FIVE YEARS (in-story, not real life though I'm sure it will seem like it) so there will be time skips here and there. Sometimes it will be a few days, sometimes a few weeks. Alternatively, there will be several chapters surrounding a single event as we have had up until this point. Don't worry, I won't skip any of the good stuff.

Speaking of good stuff, I hope you all enjoyed my little lemony one-shot "Deep Inside." If you haven't read it yet go check it out, but read the description to make sure it's your sorta thing. And by VERY popular demand, I am working on a part two to the story.

Question of the Week: Do you have a favorite animal and why? For me, it's butterflies. I wasn't much of a butterfly girl when I was younger, but I went to a butterfly atrium and it was like stepping into paradise. Now my office is full of plants and butterflies to recreate my happy place.

Thank you for reading, commenting, and sharing. You guys are amazing and I hope you have an amazing week.