I shouldn't be jealous. I couldn't be jealous.

Fuck it. I was jealous.

So, so very jealous.

Things had been going so well, too. It had been weeks since I had truly felt sorry for myself over my new life. There were still moments that I missed being at the Academy, especially when it came to being around my friends or Dimitri, but I was adjusting. I was at a decent place when it came to accepting that I wasn't going to be a guardian.

But today was a big backslide into pity town.

From the moment I woke up, I was aware of what day it was. I had been looking forward to it all year. It was supposed to be the culmination of everything I had worked towards in my life. Every sore muscle, every bruise and broken bone, every minute of my education, and all the challenges that came with it all were supposed to lead up to today. And if I had succeeded today, I would finally be who I had always felt I was meant to be.

I'd be a guardian. I'd be Lissa's guardian.

That was the goal, and I failed before I ever had the chance to succeed.

I'm sure the others had recognized that something was off. Olena was almost as perceptive as Dimitri in some regards, but while he was trained to notice threats, she was naturally adept at recognizing emotions. She didn't push, though. All she did was offer me a warm slice of buttered black bread and an opportunity to share if I wanted to.

I didn't. I did take a hug, however. They were like bandaids for little children; they made you feel better, even if they didn't fix the problem.

Then I threw myself into working out. I took one of my favorite trails that overlooked the bluffs and gave me a good view of both the town and the river beyond it. I took a picture for Dimitri but hesitated before sending it. He was going to be busy today. Maybe I'd send it later.

My body felt hot but charged, with little tingles sparking my nerves and giving an almost euphoric feeling to mask any tired muscles. The uncomfortable clammy feeling of sweat made my shirt stick to my back, but the light breeze helped cool me down a little. The still-chilled water bottle I pulled from my running belt took care of the rest.

I downed a good third of it before forcing myself to stop and save the rest. If I planned on just running back to the house, then I could easily finish it off, but as I eyed the river below me, I decided to extend my run to the trail that followed along the bank. It would push me to 20 miles, maybe even more, but I could always walk a portion of it if I started getting tired.

What I needed to do was just keep moving. The more I moved, the less I fixated; the less I fixated, the less I would feel sorry for myself.

With such an extended run, I paced myself. It meant that each mile was far more than my typical six-and-a-half minute mile—maybe around ten minutes?—but that also let me run longer and farther away from my problems, at least for the time being.

Eventually, I returned home. Nobody questioned my long disappearance. They had gotten used to me occasionally being gone for hours when I ran. The only time anyone had talked about it with me was when Olena scolded me for running past nightfall. Part of me wanted to reassure her that it was no big deal, but she was right when she reminded me that I no longer had the safety of the wards to protect me at night. Mark had told me once that it had been nearly a decade since Baia had experienced an attack from Strigoi, and even that had just been a one-off thing, but Olena was right to worry. Daylight had made me complacent, and I hadn't been prepared for even the slight possibility of an encounter.

After a quick shower, I paced a little and tried to find something to fill my mind. One of the books that Dimitri had left behind years ago caught my eye, and on a whim, I pulled it off the shelf. My grasp of Russian was still subpar. I had gotten much better at speaking, especially familiar phrases, but actually reading was beyond difficult. Still, it would be worth the struggle if it kept my mind off of other things.

The book I selected had a picture of a diver holding onto a whale or dolphin of some sort. I let my finger run carefully over the title.

Человеκ-aмфибия

"Chelovek…" Okay. I knew that word. It meant 'man.' Man something. I had to read the second word sound by sound, taking it slowly until the whole word rolled off my tongue. It took a few tries, but I eventually got it. "Am-fib-i-ya. Amfibiya! Amfibiya? Amphibian? Man Amphibian? No! Amphibian Man. It's Amphibian Man."

Even with my keen detective work, I grabbed my phone and checked the translator app to make sure I got the title right. When I saw that I had nailed it, I automatically did a little dance. Little victories like that always made me feel a little bit better. Each one meant that I was getting the hang of things.

That feeling was dashed slightly as I realized it took me several minutes just to read the title. The book itself was massive. I flipped to the back to read the final page number and saw that it was right around 400. At my current pacing, it would probably take a year or more. Still, I didn't have anything better to do today, so why not give it a go.

I didn't even make it a full page before I gave up. The constant checking back and forth against my translation app wasn't keeping my mind off things so much as giving me a headache. Maybe I'd try again later, but I needed something else to do for now. I considered heading over to Mark and Oksana's but quickly remembered that they were heading up to the city for some errands and a date night. Another option crossed off my mental list of distractions.

Looking out the window, I caught sight of the shed. It had become my sanctuary of sorts, and even after so much running, I felt the pull to the weight set that it hid. Slipping into a fresh set of workout clothes, I skipped down the stairs.

I didn't see Olena, but Yeva was rocking away in the corner with a pair of knitting needles in her hands. I knew how the exchange would probably go, but I tried anyways.

"Privet, babushka Yeva. Kak dela?" It was something I asked her nearly every day. See? Kind. Respectful. I was putting in the effort.

"Я все еще старая." It was the same response she gave me every time I asked. 'I'm still old.'

I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes. Instead, I gave a little sigh and leveled her a forced look of cheerfulness. "Why don't you like me? I haven't done anything to you?"

Like any other time I spoke to her in English, she didn't reply. It only took me a few days to notice that even when everyone else used English for my benefit, they never spoke to her in anything other than Russian. It seemed like she didn't understand a lick of English, which gave me a bit of leeway whenever she was being annoying like this. I could say almost anything to her as long as I put on a sweet face while I said it.

All I got in response was a blank look before she returned to her knitting. Fine by me.

I had just started my weight routine when my phone rang with an incoming voice call. All the negative emotions I had been feeling all day drifted away in an instant, only to be replaced with an anxiety that had been hiding behind it all.

"How did he do?! Did Eddie pass? What was his score?" The questions came one right after another, leaving Dimitri no time to answer before I demanded to know more.

He took it in stride, but rather than answering, he just grinned. "Why don't you ask him?"

And then it wasn't Dimitri smiling at me. It was Eddie. "I did it, Rose! I made it!"

I couldn't help but feed off his energy, giving him a little congratulatory shriek and wishing I could give him a big hug. Or at least a high-five. Unfortunately, I was stuck behind this phone, so all I could do was cheer from afar and ask him to share every single moment of his final trial.

And he did. Everything from listing each player involved to the final battle on the bridge, he told me every little detail. He told me how he panicked a moment when he realized that he and Yuri were trapped with 'Strigoi' on either end of the stairwell, and how he thought Yuri might not have been completely faking the fear of heights when his 'charge' begged not to step on the rickety bridge.

I wasn't sure how, but with every word, I was somehow both excited for and envious of him. A dark voice in the back of my mind insisted that I should have been there. Dimitri should have been giving me pep talks and congratulations. And when he finally told me his score, the top score from the graduating class, a bitter shadow whispered that the top score should have been mine.

I said nothing, though. Nothing other than the celebratory comments that were mostly genuine. I shushed the jealous thoughts and let my honest happiness for him win out. After a couple of minutes, I could see his earlier adrenaline rush beginning to crash.

"I'm so proud of you, Eddie. You deserve this."

"You deserved this, too." For one brief moment, I could see some guilt rise up in him.

I didn't want him to feel bad, though. Not today. Not when he accomplished something so monumental. So I brushed off his comment, giving him a goofy eye-roll and sticking my tongue out at him for a moment to lighten the mood. It hardly made sense as an appropriate response, but it did the trick. His bright smile returned, and just to make sure it stayed where it belonged, I gave him some trademark snarkiness.

"Yeah, well, I probably would have pushed Yuri off the bridge for being a baby about it, so maybe it's a good thing I didn't have to test." I wouldn't have, of course, but it made Eddie laugh just the same.

With that, we said our goodbyes. Eddie looked so exhausted that I even urged him to take a nap before the tattoo ceremony tonight. I also made him promise to take a picture of his promise mark once it was done, all while I stared at the secret knockoff on my wrist.

And then I was alone again.

And I cried.

Later that evening, Dimitri sent me a photo of Eddie's promise mark. I only had a moment to glance at it before the phone rang with an incoming video call.

"How are you doing?" Unlike Eddie, my cheerful mask didn't fool Dimitri. "Is there anything I can do?"

Even as he asked, I could see the way his jaw tensed and the frustration that played at the edges of his expression. We both knew the answer. There wasn't much he could say, and even less that he could do. And it was killing him.

Dimitri was someone who craved control. It didn't take a genius to realize he was a man of rules, routines, systems, and discipline. He'd look at a problem, consider it from all sides, create a plan of action, and then implement it with such precision it was almost scary. It made him a good person to trust and rely on. It's one of the many reasons I love him. He was the steady to my spontaneity, the calm to my chaos.

But right now, all that meant nothing. There was nothing Dimitri could do or say to fix things. He had no control, and I knew it made him feel powerless.

Which is why I put on a smile and tried to let him off the hook. "I'm fine, Comrade. I'll be okay."

He didn't look convinced in the slightest. "I wish I could wrap you up in my arms and make everything better for you. I'd do anything to take away your pain, and it's torture knowing that I can't be there for you right now."

The thought of being held by him both soothed and sharpened the pain. A simple hug would be amazing. Maybe a kiss. Maybe more…

"What's that blush about?" Dimitri asked, looking genuinely confused when I struggled to meet his gaze.

I tried to will the heat in my cheeks away and scrambled to find some excuse besides 'I was imagining us naked.' I swear, sinful thoughts of all the things Dimitri had done to me plagued me both night and day.

It was strange. I obviously had urges and all that before meeting Dimitri. It was natural, and I wasn't opposed to feeding those needs a little with make-out sessions and maybe a little over-the-clothes action if I trusted the guy not to get too handsy. Still, my focus had always been on Lissa and doing whatever it took to keep her safe. The last thing I wanted was to complicate things with a boyfriend.

Then Dimitri came along and threw a wrench in everything. Suddenly, random make-out sessions didn't satisfy and he started showing up uninvited to my dreams. All I wanted was him. More of him. That stupid lust charm made things ten times worse.

Since actually getting together? I was a mess. A needy little mess.

"Roza?"

"What?" I tried to remember what Dimitri had just asked me, but my fantasies betrayed me. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

He chuckled, obviously amused by how flustered I was acting. "I was asking why you were blushing."

"I was just thinking how nice it would be to hug you right now." I mentally kicked myself for such a flimsy excuse. It wasn't entirely wrong, but a hug wasn't nearly enough to justify how I was acting. Still, I doubled down. "I miss your hugs."

I didn't miss the brief look of frustration that crossed his features before he shed it for a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes. I knew he wasn't frustrated with me, of course. Just our situation. It also wasn't the first time we'd put on a false facade to get through this struggle.

That wasn't to say we simply ignored how we felt. There were times of open honesty, especially when things just got too overwhelming. Usually, I was the one who broke, calling him on the verge of tears as he listened patiently, validated my heartache before sharing his own, and then promising that it would all eventually get better. Somehow.

And he was right. It was already ten times better than the first day I arrived. Today was hard, but tomorrow would be easier. I just had to keep pushing through.

"I guess I'll just have to imagine you hugging me," I said, making a show of wrapping my arms around my body as if it was somehow comparable to what he offered. "You'll have to imagine me hugging you too, though. That's how it works."

The little chuckle he gave at my antics lessened the loneliness a little. "That's how it works?"

"Yep! Go on; give it a try."

He rolled his eyes but humored me.

After a moment, I grinned. "You look ridiculous." He didn't, of course. It was actually kind of sweet how hard he was trying to make me smile, but letting me tease him was part of our dynamic. Lord knows I wasn't going to make things easy for him.

"You're a brat," he accused, pointing a finger at me through the phone to make his point.

"And you love it."

"I really do." His eyes softened a little before they turned sly again. "So, if it works with hugs, does it work with kisses?"

The thought of him making random kissy faces had me laughing out loud. "Sure. You can imagine me kissing you."

"What about other things?"

I wasn't laughing anymore. In fact, I wasn't sure I could breathe. "Maybe?"

My sudden speechlessness seemed to please him. "Good. Luckily I have a decent imagination when it comes to you. And more than a little practice."

"You…you imagine me when…" God, I couldn't even say the word. A thousand images flooded my mind in an instant. Some real, like in the cabin or our last night together. Others were purely visions in my mind, pieces of him all sewn together into a picture of him doing…that. While thinking of me.

"Of course, Roza. Obviously, it can't compare but…" The way he said it made me feel a bit small, like I really should have known even though it had honestly never occurred to me before. I knew that wasn't his intent, but I suddenly felt like I had that first time together. Nervous. A bit shy. Totally inexperienced and worried I wouldn't be good enough for him. He didn't seem to notice, at least not right away. "Wait. Does that upset you?"

"No! I mean. I just…" I stuttered, completely scrambling to find the right words.

"What's wrong, Rose? You seem flustered." He didn't laugh, even though my stumbling did seem to amuse him a little. Perhaps it was the novelty of throwing me off balance a little. Especially when he was so confident in himself, at least in this regard. Dimitri didn't even flinch when he asked, "Do you have someone else in mind when you touch yourself?"

I couldn't look at him. Not because I imagined anyone other than him and hadn't for a while now, but because sharing something so private was daunting. It didn't matter that it was Dimitri, the man who knew me better than almost anyone else in the world and the one starring in my fantasies. Admitting things out loud was difficult.

"No. I guess I just haven't really thought about anyone because I haven't…done that."

"You haven't masturbated at all?" He cut me off with a wide-eyed look of surprise, mouth opening just a little as if he couldn't believe what I had just said.

I felt myself shift a little on the bed, squirming as I tried to gather my thoughts again. The way he said that word—masturbate—so casually caught me off guard again. Perhaps it shouldn't have, though. In our world, or at least his world as a guardian, it was a given that your hand would have to be enough for most of your life. Guardians had sex, sure, but it was usually just to blow off steam. One-night stands and friends-with-benefit things. Actual relationships were rare. Maybe there'd be something casual fling between a promised guardian and an unpromised dhampir like me, maybe someone might even date a non-royal moroi for a while, but guardians typically kept to their own knowing that they could be transferred at a moment's notice. Worse, with the dangerous nature of the job, it didn't make sense to get attached to someone or let someone get attached to them only for it to end in tragedy and bitter heartbreak.

I didn't want to think about that too much, though. Not with Dimitri and his job making up one-half of who we were together. If I dwelled on it, I would drive myself crazy.

Instead, I focused on the reality of the hundreds of guardians out there who would simply find a one-night hook-up before shaking hands and parting ways in the morning. Even I had resigned myself to that eventual fate. Sad as it seemed, it came with the territory.

Not anymore, I guess. I had Dimitri, and he had me. Even though we weren't together all the time, we still had each other. That made all the difference in the world.

No, the real reason I hadn't…masturbated was because I couldn't bring myself to. Not in this house.

"I have, but not here." That didn't mean I hadn't tried. The one time I attempted it, someone had woken up for a bathroom break in the middle of the night. Hearing them walk down the hallway put an abrupt end to all of that. "There was plenty of privacy in my room at the Academy. It's weird with your family in the house. I get too nervous and anxious to…to get off."

For a moment, Dimitri stared at me in silence. I could see him working something out in his mind, and as much as I wanted to push, l tried to be patient. Just before I couldn't take it anymore, he finally asked, "You like wearing my shirts, don't you?"

I looked down at the deep forest green shirt I had claimed as my own, with the Cyrillic translation of 'St. Basil Academy' written across my chest in gold. I couldn't remember the last time I had worn a proper pair of pajamas since I'd been here. "I love it."

"Me too. But do you know what I like even better?"

"What?"

"Watching you take it off." Dimitri had seen me topless plenty. He'd seen me strip down to nothing. It was clear that wasn't what he was asking, though. He wanted me to give him a show. To tease. To seduce. "Take it off for me, Roza."

I settled my phone against the lamp on the night table. Shifting back on the bed, still on my knees, I made sure I was in view before pulling the well-worn fabric over my head. My hair spilled over my shoulders, and I pulled it forward until it partially covered my breasts. The ends just barely tickled my nipples, and I felt them pucker under the stimulation.

"Beautiful." Dimitri's eyes were almost a physical sensation as they ran over me. When he spoke, his voice was low, gravelly, and full of sin. His accent so deep, it sounded like sex incarnate. Even though he wasn't touching me, I felt a flush run through my body, lighting up each nerve and sending little electric shocks through me.

His eyes dipped lower, past where the screen image cut off. Even though it was pointless over the phone, he tilted and shifted his head as if it would give him a better view of what was hidden. "I can't see the underwear you're wearing. Tell me about them."

"Umm… they're just panties. Nothing special." I wasn't planning on wherever this was going, so I hadn't broken out some of my nonexistent lingerie.

"Lace or cotton?" He asked, looking at me like there was nothing in the world he needed to know more than the answer to that question.

I should lie. Right? I should say lace. That's what he was probably hoping for. My run-of-the-mill bikini cuts weren't exactly sexy. But something told me that he'd see right through the lie.

"Cotton."

I might as well have said lace by the way he smirked, offering silent approval of my choice.

"Black? White?"

"Purple."

"Show me."

It would be easy for me to stand and show them off, but I wanted to play along. On a whim, I hooked my fingers into the elastic at my waist and began to shimmy the garment down my legs, all the while carefully making sure that things stayed just out of view for him. Once they were free from my ankles, I lifted them in front of the camera, letting them dangle from my crooked finger.

"We're going to play a game, Roza. Has everyone turned in for the night?"

I nodded. I hadn't heard a peep in the hallway since before Dimitri's call, and while it was a bit of a gamble, I would bet we wouldn't be overheard. Especially if we kept things quiet.

"Good." One little word, and I was already melting. "Go get your earbuds and turn out the lights. Keep the lamp on, though. I want to be able to see you."

I did just that, leaning over the phone to turn the small desk lamp on. I heard Dimitri groan and realized I just gave him an up close and personal view of my body. When I moved back, I noticed that his eyes were pressed tightly closed, a deep furrow in his brow as if using all his strength to focus.

I apologized, but the quiet giggle accompanying it almost negated the whole thing. One of his eyes slit open as he gave me a slight glare that equal parts exacerbated and amused. "Just go get the lights."

There may have been a bit more swing in my walk as I did what he asked, and when I bent a little more than necessary to snatch my wireless earbuds from the desk drawer, I couldn't help but grin as another tortured sound echoed from the phone.

"Tease," he accused, though he didn't seem to mind at all.

I slipped in the earbuds with a wink. Suddenly Dimitri's voice wasn't something heard through the slightly distorted speaker on my phone, but whispered directly into my ear.

"Can you hear me?"

I shivered, feeling his words as if he was right beside me. My reply was huskier than I had anticipated. "Yes."

"Good," he said, leveling me a look that almost seemed smug. Or perhaps just confident. Like he knew what he was already doing to me without a single touch. As I settled myself on my knees again, I watched as he traced my body up and down with his eyes. I wasn't unfamiliar with his gaze by now, but something about it looked more hungry than usual, like he was just as desperate as I was for a bit of relief.

It softened momentarily as he said, "Play with your hair a little. Run your fingers through it."

The request almost made me laugh. Dimitri and his obsession with my hair; I don't think it would ever stop amusing me. I did as he asked, combing my finger up towards my crown before drawing them out again, scalp to ends, so that the heavy waves from before were teased into something a little more wild and messy. I had bedhead and hadn't even laid down yet. Playing with it a little more for his benefit, I shifted my hair left and right before shaking it out and letting the strands fall wherever they wanted—some down my back, some over my shoulders, and even some across my face.

Through the strands, I saw him smile and shake his head a little at my playful antics before something more wistful took over. I watched as his hand moved towards the screen. Just barely, as if he could somehow reach through it and touch me. On instinct, I tucked the locks from my face behind my ear, mimicking the sweet little moment he'd done so many times when we were together.

He sighed a little, and while I knew it was what he wanted, the longing in his eyes burned for something more. For us to be together so he could do it himself.

In an attempt to distract him, I tossed the rest of my hair behind me and let my fingers roam over my chest and neck without prompting. My little performance felt awkward at first like I was trying too hard to be some vixen that I wasn't, but the more he watched my little dance, the more confident I felt. The heat in his eyes urged me to continue, burning deeper as I pressed my breasts together and taunted him with a deep cleavage that no bra could ever manage on its own. I squeezed one and then the other, remembering how gentle he would be with me in the beginning and how demanding he always was at the end. When he bit down on his lip, focus following my fingers so intently, I pinched my nipples.

I didn't realize quite how sensitive I was already, and that one small action elicited a small cry. Immediately, I stilled, terrified that the quiet sound had woken every single person in the house and announced what I was doing.

"Shhh," Dimitri hushed, not to quiet my voice but to quiet my sudden anxiety. "They're asleep. It's just us, Roza. Just you and me."

It took a moment for me to believe him, but when nobody came busting down the door, I relaxed a little. I didn't notice it immediately, but his gentle hum called me back to him and the last of my tension left my body.

"There you go, Милая. See? Everything is just fine."

Milaya? "What is that word? The one you called me."

"It means 'Sweetheart.'" Love laced the declaration. "Is that okay?"

"I like it," I admitted, filing it away in my mind with the other pet name reserved only for his use.

"Well then, Милая, lay back for me. Put a pillow or two behind you so I can see that gorgeous face of yours. I want to see your expression as I make you come with just my voice."

I did as he asked, but not before making my own demand. "Am I the only one getting naked? That hardly seems fair."

"You're right." He immediately pulled his shirt off, throwing it off the side of the bed before leaning forward to, I assume, remove whatever pants he was wearing. I couldn't see though, because his shifting knocked the phone over, plunging me into darkness for a moment. When he righted it, I was met with the mesmerizing expanse of his chest. He leaned against the headboard, and I watched him tuck one arm behind his head in a relaxed pose, the other still out of view. I could only imagine where it had wandered off to. The thought sent another little shiver through me as I settled myself against the pillows, legs out in front of me but folded and tucked to the side a little.

The soft glare he gave me screamed, 'really?' but even though I knew what he wanted, I couldn't bring myself to do it on my own.

He seemed to understand, and rather than chiding me for my shyness, he encouraged me. "Open your legs, Roza. I want to see all of you."

It took everything in me to do as he asked. I don't know why. He'd had his face tucked between my thighs before, eating me out as if I was his last meal on earth. Somehow this felt more exposed, though. He'd get to examine me without the distraction of oral. Still, it was what he wanted so I slowly did as he asked. I fought the urge to cover myself again, forcing my hand to stay on my hip even though I couldn't keep it from fidgeting.

His eyes flickered to the movement for a brief moment, but he didn't say anything about it. Instead, he took in every inch of my newly exposed skin. Skin that only he had seen. That only he had touched. It felt as much as his as it was mine now, and the thought calmed me a little.

"Beautiful," he whispered, and I wondered if he meant me to hear it at all.

"You find that beautiful?" Part of me wanted to laugh at the notion. I mean, I guess people have described vaginas as flowers, and there was the whole Georgia O'Keeffe thing (though I hear she always denied it), but to me it just…was.

To Dimitri, though? "I find it stunning. Every inch of you is beautiful. From your smile, to your hair, to your breasts, and yes, even your pussy."

My eyes went wide at the word that sounded almost forbidden on his lips. One word whispered into my ear with that deep accent of his left me utterly breathless. And he didn't hesitate to take advantage of it.

"Touch yourself for me, Roza. Touch your pussy like I would if I was right there with you."

My hands shook as I dragged them across my hip. Just before the pad of my finger brushed against my clit, Dimitri stopped me.

"No. Not there. Not yet." I stuttered a little at his command, unsure what else to do until he instructed me further. "Rub over your slit. Don't even let your fingers slip between those pretty little lips yet. I want you glistening by the time you open yourself to me."

I was tempted to tell him I was already plenty wet, but he was greedy today. He didn't say wet. He said glistening. He wanted me soaked enough that he could see it. So I did as he asked, putting a little pressure on the mons as added stimulation. He watched me carefully, saying nothing more than 'that's it' or 'just like that' as encouragement. What started as lazy and timid quickly began building into more, and without a word, I slid one finger between my folds. When he didn't scold me, I added another.

My breathing became heavier and heavier with every stroke, allowing me to fall into a rhythm that was both familiar and new at the same time. Every other time I had masturbated back at the Academy, it had been a 'get off quick' sort of thing so I could fall asleep or release a little tension. This…this was different. Even on my own, it was an intimate act between us. He may not have been able to touch me, but he was still there. It was still his voice in my ear and his eyes on my body.

"Now show me. Show me what I've done to you," Dimitri demanded as if it was his fingers rather than mine.

And I did. I used my index and middle finger to create a little 'v' and unwrapped my sex like a gift for him on Christmas morning.

For the first time, I noticed his right arm flexing; the defined muscles tensing and relaxing in turn as it moved. I didn't see his hand or anything else lower than his chest, but it didn't take a genius to figure out what he was doing. Somehow, knowing that he was touching himself right alongside me made it all the more erotic.

"One finger," he said, the command sounding a little more like a plea this time. "Slip just one finger inside."

There was a little relief as I obeyed. My finger slipped in and out of me, building faster and faster on itself as my body cried out for more.

It was almost as if he could read my thoughts as he demanded, "Another."

I slipped in a second finger alongside the first, and while it satisfied a little more, it was still not quite right. I increased my tempo, pressed in a little deeper, and let my eyes fall closed as I searched for whatever was still eluding me. Then a thought struck. Dimitri was bigger. Far thicker than just two fingers. So I added a third.

"That's me, Roza. My fingers. My cock. Whatever you're seeing behind those beautiful eyes, imagine that it's me. Rub that needy little clit, too."

And like that, things started to fall into place. I could hear Dimitri's voice in my ear. Dirty demands spoken in hot desperation. The sound of his heavy breathing as it became more and more undone. I could hear the slick sound of my fingers and the low keening of my moans. I missed his heat and weight, but I could almost feel it if I focused on what I had of him rather than what I didn't.

My blood began to heat, and light tingles from before now felt electrifying. I knew I wasn't the only one. It felt like I could reach out and touch Dimitri beside me as we both chased the same high. It was right there. All I needed to do was take it. It was almost in my grasp.

So close.

"Dimitri," I begged under my breath, knowing that he could still hear me. While it made no sense at all, something inside me wanted his permission. He'd taken the lead throughout all of this, and I wanted him to take me to that final place. "Please."

I was so lost that I couldn't even open my eyes to plead with him, but I could hear him. I knew he was close too.

"Come, Roza. Come for me Милая. Now."

And I did. It took everything in me not to cry out, but I managed to bite my lip just in time before the sudden orgasm ripped through me. It was strong. Stronger than I had expected and much stronger than anything I had ever given myself before. And while I wished I could say it was just as satisfying as the ones I'd felt with Dimitri, it wasn't a bad second.

I kept my fingers moving, no longer thrusting in and out, but still rubbing my clit in lazy circles as my breath began to even. Dimitri's was still ragged, though. When I peeked through my lashes, I could see that he wasn't focused between my legs but on my face, as if my pleasure was all he needed to push him over the edge. I still couldn't see his hand, but his arm moved brutally fast and the sight was almost enough to get me going again.

Less than a second after our eyes met, I watched as his jaw tensed and his body shuddered. The only sound he made was a low groan that could have been mistaken for a growl before he threw his head back and finally relaxed.

It took us both a few moments to recover, but when we did, he was the one to break the silence.

"Feel better?" he asked with a raised brow and smirk.

"Yeah. Much better." I felt so light now I couldn't help but giggle. I was drunk on ecstasy. "You?"

He nodded, already looking like he could drift off at any moment. I could sympathize. I was suddenly exhausted as well. "I should probably get cleaned up, though."

"Oh?"

He turned the phone around, finally revealing his still half-hard cock and the mess he had made. All across his lower abdomen were streaks of cum. It was an impressive amount, and the immediate thought of licking him clean crossed my mind. Thankfully, I didn't say that out loud as the camera flipped again to Dimitri's face.

"You did that. I hope you're proud of yourself?" He said it like some sort of chastisement, but his expression was clearly pleased.

I was pretty pleased with myself, too. "Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty proud of that." My words drifted into a yawn that he echoed.

"We should go to bed," he insisted, somehow managing to be the responsible one again. "I need to start getting some things together tomorrow."

That's right. Graduation was over now. Next week, Lissa, Dimitri, and Christian would all be moving to Court. Eddie would most likely join them. Despite my earlier jealousy, my post-orgasm bliss left me with nothing but happiness.

He gave me one last adoring look. "I love you, Roza. Goodnight, and I'll see you in a couple of weeks."

"Goodnight. Love you, too." Right before I hung up, something struck me. "Wait! What?"

But he was already gone.

Author's Note

It's been snowing like crazy over here. I know that there's been lots of difficult weather all over the US and beyond, so I hope you are all safe and comfortable wherever you are.

Question of the Week: If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Get ready for next week's update because there just may be a little reunion on the way! Until then, thank you for reading and I love you all.