Midnight's Shadow sat upon one of the couches in the rec room. Her boots were discarded upon the ground. She had drawn her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them to hold them in place, while her chin rested on the tops of her knees. It must have been decently late at night because the Pit was nearly silent. Only soldiers patrolling the halls or a few techs finishing up some last minute work were the ones still awake. Everyone else had long retired to their quarters for the night. So, for now, Midnight's Shadow sat alone, waiting to hear the result of her test-to learn if she was accepted into the GI Joes.
Midnight's Shadow wondered to herself if she even should. It was temporary-only until the terrorists who had held her captured were apprehended or wiped out. And if she joined, she would gain access to their resources and be able to discover her past more quickly, instead of having to wait for her memory to return. But that was the problem. She wasn't sure if she even wanted to remember. After seeing what she can do to people-shooting them, slashing their throats, breaking their necks- she wasn't sure if she wanted to know what kind of a person she was before she lost her memory. She was definitely a hard sort of person from the way she could kill others so easily without a second thought. It was disturbing. What if she regained her memory and it was filled with memories of other people she had killed? She was already having trouble dealing with the terrorists she had killed within the past few days. What would it be like to remember a lifetime of killings? Midnight's Shadow wasn't sure if she could handle such a thing. She half wondered to herself if there was a way to prevent her memory from returning- just so that she didn't have to remember the other lives that she had taken.
The sound of footsteps alerted her to someone's presence. Midnight's Shadows' head snapped up from its resting place upon the tops of her knees, her blue eyes searching for the source. She instantly found it in the form of Heavy Duty and Scarlett walking towards her, entering the rec room from the hall. The each took a seat on the couch beside her, causing the dark haired woman to slide away just a little to make room. Her blue eyes looked at them questioningly. "Well?" she asked.
An unexpected smile broke onto Heavy Duty's face, breaking his hard persona. "You've been accepted into the Joes. You were actually in the top twenty five percent of all people ever tested, according to General Hawk," he told her.
"Which means," Scarlett began, scooting forward in her seat so that Midnight's Shadow could see her better from behind the large frame of the British man, "that you qualify to join the Alpha team. You can be one of us."
Midnight's Shadows' blue eyes shifted between the two of them rapidly. "'Can be,'" she repeated. "What does that mean?"
"Well, you are given a choice if you wish to join our team. After you are tested, you are assigned to a team that has the same level of abilities as you do, but it is ultimately your choice if you want to join Alpha team," Scarlett said, her voice gentle.
Midnight's Shadow tightened her grip around her legs, drawing them even closer to her chest. Her blue gaze drifted from to other two to focus upon the coffee table and the magazine laying upon it, as if it had suddenly become very interesting. "I don't know," she said rather quietly after a moment of silence.
"You don't know?" Heavy Duty repeated with incredulity. "What do you mean you don't know?"
The dark haired woman's eyebrows narrowed slightly. "I mean, I don't know," she repeated with a hard edge to her voice.
The red haired woman placed a calming hand on Heavy Duty's shoulder. The British man looked over his shoulder at her, noticed her warning glare, and then leaned back into the couch with a huff. Scarlett then turned her attention back to Midnight's Shadow. "What I think Heavy is trying to say is that, well, not to sound arrogant, but we are the best team that GI Joe has to offer. Other soldiers work their asses off, hoping to get a spot on our team, but not many do. Now, when we are offering you a position on the Alpha Team, you're not sure." She cocked her head slightly to the side. "Why is that?"
"Look, I'm sorry. I'm sure that it is a great honor or some such to be offered to join the GI Joes, let alone the Alpha Team. I'm just not sure if it's such a great idea," Midnight's Shadow answered, her gaze still riveted upon the magazine.
Scarlett's brow furrowed in confusion. "And why would it not be a good idea?"
Midnight's Shadow tore her gaze away from the enthralling magazine to look at the other woman. "Because…because I don't know what I am. I mean, the things that I can do, no ordinary person should know how to do. Of that, I am absolutely positive. Does it mean that I was some sort of killer? An assassin? Some sort of mercenary? Or perhaps just a psychopath who enjoyed killing?" The dark haired woman scoffed at that last one. "If I was any one of those things, then I don't want to remember." Her gaze moved away from Scarlett, becoming unfocused. "If I join GI Joe, then perhaps you will help me recover the secrets of my past faster than I can remember them- a past I am not entirely certain that I want to remember. And if I join the Alpha Team, I would be indulging in more killing. As soldiers, it's what you're trained to do when necessary, right?" She looked back to them for a response, showing them that the question was not rhetorical.
Both Scarlett and Heavy Duty nodded in agreement.
"See? I don't want to become that person again. I will not," she declared firmly.
"And you don't have to," Heavy duty said, speaking up.
This caught Midnight's Shadow by surprise. She had been expecting them to try and convince her that she needed to remember, reclaim her old life, and try to reassure her that she was not someone employed in the art of killing. The dark haired woman shifted her bright blue gaze to his face. "What?"
"I know that you're scared as hell that you may have been some hard core killer in your past. Frankly, that's what I was a bit worried about in the beginning as well. But now," he shook his head. "I'm not so sure you were."
Midnight's Shadow cocked her head to the side ever so slightly. "What makes you say that?" she inquired.
"You told us that your body reacts on instinct, that you would kill people without a second thought. If that's true, then what are you doing now?" Heavy asked her. He was silent for a moment, letting it sink in. "You say that you kill others without a second thought, but yet here you sit, clearly upset by the lives you have taken and vowing not to take any more. It seems like a second thought to me."
Midnight's Shadow sat frozen, her blue eyes wide with undisguised surprise. Her gaze moved away, becoming unfocused once more as she thought back-back to all the times she had thought about the men she had killed, thinking it had been without another thought while, in reality, she had thought of them more than just twice.
"Look, you may have been one of those things before. I won't deny that there isn't a chance of that. But, you must also see that there is still a shred of humanity left within you that feels guilty for every life you take." He leaned forward, crossing his arms and resting his elbows on his knees. He looked her square in the eye, drawing Midnight's Shadows' gaze once more. "The way that I see it, this…amnesia that you have is a blessing in disguise."
"Heavy…" Scarlett began, clearly unsure of where he was going with this, but was cut off by a sharp hand gesture from Heavy Duty.
"How is this supposed to be a blessing?" Midnight's Shadow asked, her voice sounding weary. Deep down, she was genuinely curious to see how he could spin amnesia into something positive.
"The way that I see it, you've been given a second chance. If you really were any of those things before you lost your memory, then you now have the opportunity to reforge yourself into something better than you were," he told her.
Midnight's Shadow was silent for a long time, considering his words. Then, slowly, a smile crept onto her face. "You're right," she said.
"Of course I am," he smirked.
Her smile faded a little. "But, even if I do join, there still is the problem of not being able to control my own body when I am in a fight. What happens when I don't want to hurt or kill someone, but I can't even stop myself?"
"Actually," Scarlett spoke up, drawing Heavy Duty and Midnight's Shadows' attention. "I've been thinking about that. Why don't you ask Snake Eyes for help?"
The dark haired woman cocked an eyebrow. "Snake Eyes?"
Scarlett nodded. "You obviously were not able to kill him, which I see as a good sign. He is able to hold his own against you-probably the only one in the Pit who can. I'm sure if you ask him, he can find some way to help you," she said.
Midnight's Shadow shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "I don't know…"
Scarlett laughed lightly. "Just ask him tomorrow. Now," she rose to her feet, Heavy Duty rising with her. "I suppose it's time to show you to your new room."
The young woman's dark eyebrows raised in surprise. "My own room?" she repeated questioningly.
Scarlett's smile widened. "Yeah. You didn't think we were going to keep you in that cell during your entire stay, did you?"
Midnight's Shadow shrugged.
The red head rolled her eyes. "Come on."
Scarlett and Heavy Duty led the way through the maze of hallways that honeycombed their way through the Pit. After a few minutes of walking, they turned down a side hall. It was short, with only four evenly spaced doors on either side and two more doors at the end of the hallway, which looked like it led to two separate bathrooms. Scarlett walked a little ways down the hall, both Heavy Duty and Midnight's Shadow following, and stopped before the third door on the right. Reaching out her hand, she gripped the handle, causing the door to swing inward. Walking forward, Midnight's Shadow peered through the now open doorway and into the room beyond.
It was simple. A small bed was against one wall, already with a pillow and plain blue cotton blankets. A nightstand with a lamp and clock-the lamp being the only source of light in the room. There was a dresser pressed up against the other wall. As Midnight's Shadow looked closer, she noticed that her shoulder bag had already been brought into the room for her and was now sitting upon the top of her dresser.
Midnight's Shadow stepped past Scarlett and Heavy Duty, continuing to look at the room. This was her room. Without really realizing it, she reached up and gripped the necklace bearing the sun and moon charms, turning them over and over between her fingertips.
"So? Do you like it?" she heard the red head ask from behind her.
She nodded without turning around. "It's better than the cell. Though, at the same time, it is strikingly similar to it, with the addition of a few pieces of furniture."
"Once you get your first paycheck, you can talk to the requisitions officer. He can get you nearly anything you want to customize your room the way you want," Heavy Duty told her.
Midnight's Shadow turned halfway around, looking at them quizzically. "Why would they do that? Isn't this technically the army?"
"Yes, but we are literally stuck in a Pit for who knows how long. It's good to make this place feel like home in any way you can," he answered.
Midnight's Shadow nodded, turning back to looking at her new room.
"Okay, bathrooms are at the end of the hall. My room is to the right of yours and Breaker's is to the left. Heavy's room is across from mine and Snake Eyes' room is across from yours. If you need anything, come get one of us," Scarlett informed her.
"Thanks," Midnight's Shadow said gratefully.
Heavy Duty nodded and turned to leave the room. Scarlett offered a friendly smile. "No problem. Welcome to the Joes." With that, she turned and followed Heavy from the room, closing the door behind her.
Midnight's Shadow watched the door close before turning back around. With a few long strides, she crossed the room and sat down upon the edge of her new bed, her blue eyes still scanning the room. This was her room. In a way, this was her new home. Looking sideways, her eyes locked onto her shoulder bag, one of the few remnants of her old life. Reaching over, she picked it up, feeling the cool leather under her fingertips, and clutched it close to her chest as if it were a lifeline. Kicking off her boots, Midnight's Shadow scooted back onto her bed. Tilting to her side, she laid down, not bothering to pull back the covers. Her head rested on the soft pillow. As she lay down, a sheen of long, messy, black hair momentarily covered her face before she quickly pushed it back. She still clutched the shoulder bag tightly to her chest. Midnight's Shadow wondered if it smelled or felt familiar because, for some reason, she found its presence to be comforting. Reaching up a hand, she gripped her necklace once again. She pulled it forward, letting the charms rest in the palm of her hand so that she could see them better. The silver shaped glinted in the light of the lamp as she looked at them.
A second chance. Her new life with the Joes was her second chance.
Then, Midnight's Shadow reached up her hand and turned off the lamp, plunging the room into near darkness. Only the light from the hallway leaking under the door provided any semblance of light. Feeling a strange sense of contentment, Midnight's Shadow sighed. Closing her dark lashes over her blue eyes, Midnight's Shadow was asleep in mere seconds, feeling safer than she had in days.