The Warriors: From Zero to Hero
Chapter 17
The Warriors and Young Hercules were at the Isle of Philoctetes and found Philoctetes as they ask him a question
Excuse me? Young Hercules said
What, kid? Phil said
I want to ask you something. Young Hercules said
What is it? Phil said
I need your help. I want to become a hero. A true hero. Young Hercules said
Really? Phil said
Yeah. Young Hercules said
Sorry, kid, can't help ya. Phil said
What? the others said
Wait! Young Hercules said
Young Hercules pulls the door Phil closed before him and raises it in the air with one hand
Whoo! Phil said
Uh, sorry. Young Hercules said
Don't worry about it. Phil said
Why not? Young Hercules said
Two words. I am retired. Phil said
Young Hercules counts with his fingers
Those were four words. Punk said
Whatever. See ya. Phil said
Wait! Young Hercules said
What? Phil said
Look, i gotta do this. Young Hercules said
Why? Phil said
Haven't you ever had a dream, something you wanted so bad you'd do anything? Young Hercules said
(Sighs) Kid, come inside, i want to show you something. Phil said
Can my friends come in? Young Hercules said
Sure. Phil said
Great. Come on guys. Young Hercules said
Alright. Punk said
Very well. Sophitia said
Hulk you stay here with Pegasus for a bit. Batman said
Okay. Hulk said
Young Hercules and the others went inside Phil's house while Young Hercules hits his head against a wooden mast
Ow! Young Hercules said
Watch it! That was part of the mast of the Argo. Phil said
Argo? the others said
Yeah. Phil said
The Argo? Young Hercules said
Yeah. Who do you think taught Jason how to sail? Cleopatra? Phil said
Phil shows The Warriors and Young Hercules a row of helmets
You trained these people? Sophitia said
I trained all those would-be heroes. Phil said
Wow. Sophitia said
I trained all those would-be heroes. Phil said
All of them? Sophitia said
All of them. Phil said
Like who? Punk said
Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of "yeuseus." Phil said
Yeah. Punk said
Clearly. Sophitia said
And every single one of those bums let me down. Flatter then a discus. None of them could go the distance. Phil said
Wow. Young Hercules said
And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all. Phil said
Achilles? Sophitia said
Yeah. Phil said
Tell us. Sophitia said
The build, the foot speed. He could jab, he could take a hit, he could keep on coming. But... Phil said
But what? Punk said
But that furshlugginer heel of his! He barely gets nicked there once and - kaboom! He's history. Phil said
Wow. Punk said
That's awful. Sophitia said
Tell me about it. Phil said
So...did you? Young Hercules said
Did i what? Phil said
Did you have a dream once? Young Hercules said
Yeah, I had a dream once. Phil said
Really? Young Hercules said
Yeah. Phil said
What was your dream? Young Hercules said
I dreamed i was gonna train the greatest hero there ever was. Phil said
Really? Young Hercules said
So great the gods would hang a picture of him in the stars...all across the sky, and people would say, "That's Phil's boy." That's right. Phil said
Cool. Punk said
That's amazing. Sophitia said
Eh, but dreams are for rookies. A guy can only take so much disappointment. Phil said
But i'm different than those other guys, Phil! Young Hercules said
You? Phil said
Yeah. Young Hercules said
You're different than all of the other heroes i trained? Phil said
Yeah. Young Hercules said
No way. Phil said
I can go the distance. Young Hercules said
I don't believe you. Phil said
Come on, i'll show you. Young Hercules said
Young Hercules grabs Phil's hand and goes outside
Hercules, where are you going? Sophitia said
I gotta show Phil something. Young Hercules said
What? Sophitia said
It'll be quick. Young Hercules said
Wait. Sophitia said
Seriously? Punk said
Let's go. Batman said
Yeah. Punk said
The Warriors go outside and approach Young Hercules and Phil
Geez, you don't give up, do ya? Phil said
Do you guys wanna see something amazing? Young Hercules said
Sure. Punk said
Alright. Batman said
Of course. Sophitia said
Hulk say okay. Hulk said
Watch this. Young Hercules said
Young Hercules raises something big which looks like a UFO and sends it flying away
Whoa. Punk said
Oh my god. Batman said
Amazing. Sophitia said
Hulk say that was impressive. Hulk said
Holy Hera...you know maybe if i...no! Snap out of it! I'm too old to get mixed up in this stuff again. Phil said
But if i don't become a true hero, i'll never be able to rejoin my father, Zeus. Young Hercules said
Zeus? Phil said
Yeah. Young Hercules said
Hold it! Zeus is your father, right? Phil said
Uh-huh. Young Hercules said
(Laughs) Zeus! The big guy. He's your daddy! Phil said
Yeah. Young Hercules said
Mr. Lightning Bolts, read me a book, will ya...da-da? Phil said
Phil laughs and pretends to be Zeus for a bit
Zeus! Once upon a time... Phil said
Phil continues to laugh at Young Hercules's story
Are you done? Punk said
Not yet. Phil said
Phil continued to laugh for a bit more until he was done
Okay, now i'm done. Phil said
It's the truth! Young Hercules said
We're not lying. Sophitia said
Please! Phil said
(So you wanna be a hero kid?)
(Well, whoop-de-do.)
(I have been around the block before with blockheads just like you.)
(Each and every one was disappointment.)
(Pain for which there ain't no ointment.)
(So much for excuses.)
(Though a kid of Zeus is.)
(Asking me to jump into the fray.)
(My answer is two words.)
Suddenly a bolt of lightning hits Phil while singing
Okay. Phil said
You mean you'll do it? Young Hercules said
(You win.)
You won't be sorry, Phil. Young Hercules said
(Oh gods.)
So when do we start? Can we start now? Young Hercules said
(Oy vey.)
Can we train too? Punk said
Sure. Phil said
(I'd given up hope that someone would come along.)
(A fella who'd ring the bell for once not the gong.)
(The kind who wins trophies.)
(Won't settle for low fees.)
(At least semi-pro fees.)
(But no i get the greenhorn!)
(I've been out to pasture pal my ambition gone.)
(Content to spend lazy days and to graze my lawn.)
(But you need an advisor.)
(A satyr but wiser.)
(A good merchandiser and...whoa!)
(There goes my ulcer!)
(I'm down to one last hope and I hope it's you.)
(Though, kid, you're not exactly a dream come true.)
(I trained enough turkeys.)
(Who never came through!)
(You're my only last hope.)
(So you'll have to do.)
Rule #6: When rescuing a damsel, always handle with care. Phil said
Young Hercules falls into the water after saving the dummy
No! Phil said
Rule #95 kid: Concentrate! Phil said
Young Hercules threw some swords but missed the target and almost killed Phil
Rule #96: Aim! Phil said
(Demigods have faced the odds and ended up a mockery.)
(Don't believe in the stories that you read on all the crockery.)
(To be a true hero kid, is a dying art.)
(Like painting a masterpiece it's a work of heart.)
(It takes more than sinew.)
(Comes down to what's in you.)
(You have to continue.)
(To grow!)
Young Hercules is an adult now after so much training
Now that's more like it! Phil said
(I'm down to one last shot and my last high note.)
(Before that blasted underworld gets my goat.)
(My dreams are on you, kid.)
(Go make 'em come true!)
(Climb that uphill slope!)
(Keep pushing that envelope!)
(You're my one last hope.)
(And kid it's up to you Yeah!)
Did you see that? Did you guys see that? Hercules said
Totally. Punk said
Yes. Batman said
Of course. Sophitia said
Hulk is impressed. Hulk said
Next stop, Olympus. Hercules said
All right, just take it easy, champ. Phil said
The Warriors were impressed by Young Hercules who was now an adult and looked really really strong now stay tuned
TO BE CONTINUED