Chapter 38

The Qliphoth

When I came to, we were in some sort of underground world. Apparently Akzeriuth disappeared-collapsed into the underground-but Tear protected us with her fonic hymn. But Akzeriuth, and everybody living there, were gone... Is it because I caused a hyperresonance...? No way... Better not to think about it for now.

This underground world we fell into is called the Qliphoth. The land here is like a bottomless sea of sludge, and the remnants of Akzeriuth, the people who survived the fall, got swallowed up by that sea. The only thing left is the Tartarus, with its emergency buoy. We fled to the Tartarus before we sunk into the sludge as well.

Tear seems to know a lot about the Qliphoth. She says there's a place called Yulia City west of here, so we started out to find it.

The first thing we did was find food. Not that there was much left in the cafeteria that was edible. While we were eating, Tear told us something incredible.

The land we lived on was once here in the Qliphoth. Here, they call our land the "Outer Lands," which were made by taking the land from the Qliphoth and raising it up into the air.

About 2000 years ago, Auldrant became covered in miasma. Legend says that the miasma was sealed underground with Yulia's Score, but in reality, the crust of the planet itself was raised into the air, trapping the miasma underneath it.

The Sephiroth were used to hold the Outer Lands up, by taking advantage of the power that collects at those vital points. And it was the passage rings, protected by Daathic seals, that controlled them.

So what I used hyperresonance to destroy was not the miasma, but the passage ring and the pillar supporting the Outer Lands...

But I didn't know anything about it, so it's not my fault. Everybody keeps on blaming me-it's not my fault! I didn't make this happen! Master Van said to do it, after all. I was just trying to help! It's not my fault! Why is everybody leaving me? It's not my fault...

It had been a long time since Guy felt like this….

Disgust.

Anger.

A sense of betrayal.

He paced about in an empty room by himself, grateful that he could. No one would bother him for a while simply because he would be hard to find. Not that he intentionally tried to hide. He had simply picked a room as far from the cafeteria as he could get. It wasn't that he couldn't stand Luke—no, that's exactly what it was—but he also couldn't be sure the fon slot curse wouldn't activate. Yeah, Ion had said it worked according to proximity of the user, but the anger he felt as he retreated from the others made him wonder. Was it possible it could activate without the user around?

When it happened before, all he could think about was his family dying at Duke Fabre's hands and how Luke was that murderer's son. The resentment tore open the scar in his heart, reminding him of his reasons for coming to Baticul where he was brought on as a servant. Just to kill Luke. Make that man suffer in the same way Guy had.

Would he attack him because of this?

Guy stopped breathing. He stopped pacing.

No…. He could still see clearly. He could think clearly. He really was just upset. Even as memories dominated his mind's eye with all the times he could've retaliated, all the opportunities and the ways he could've killed Luke, all the times he looked up at his father's sword and thought about yanking it off just to skewer it through the Duke himself, he knew deep down he wasn't really that person. That's why he never truly tried. He never thought he truly had it in him to hurt Luke.

Until the curse.

For a flashing moment, Guy not only thought about hurting Luke, that he could hurt him, but that he was capable of it. That he really would do it. For a moment, it seemed possible. Likely. And he ended up pushing Luke away. Once he saw Luke's face and realized what he'd done, rationality kicked in with the reminder of who he really was. And what he wasn't.

The anger still lingered, though for different reasons this time. Luke… Luke made a huge mistake that costed thousands of people their lives.

Guy resumed pacing but now with a lot more energy.

Luke was so ignorant! He refused to accept any of the blame for what happened at Akzeriuth! It's not my fault? It absolutely was! Didn't he see that? Ion had said that the pillar supported Akzeriuth and Luke himself admitted to using his hyperresonance on it. The idiot just trusted when someone told him what would happen. Why didn't he think it through? Why didn't he ask questions? If he would've just opened up about it, this probably wouldn't have happened. But why didn't he?

There could've been any number of reasons, Guy supposed. Maybe Luke truly didn't understand what he was doing, or maybe he thought he did and didn't bother to question it. Maybe it's because he was a replica. Or just plain young. Or the most likely reason… Guy looked to his experience with Raine.

After traveling with everyone for this long, she still didn't trust them. He saw it in the way she still carried her stuff everywhere she went, even now. She didn't even choose a room and leave it there, even with so few people on board the Tartarus. After all this time, she wouldn't tell them much about herself or answer questions. It all boiled down to trust. Van was the one who led Luke to do this and he didn't say a word about it to Guy. Which meant Luke trusted Van more than he trusted Guy.

A strange thought.

Maybe that was earned somehow… or rather, Guy didn't do enough to encourage Luke to tell him stuff like that. Luke certainly wasn't as close to Guy as he expected.

He sighed and finally sat down at the table. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Putting it this way, Guy felt a bit guilty about something, like he was letting Luke off the hook. Maybe this whole thing was his own fault? But he wasn't the one who actually released the arte. He merely did his best to guide the arte user.

Did he really, though? His best? To that end, he failed miserably.

But to hear Luke accept no accountability for this… something rose in Guy's chest as he stood up again. Why did Luke insist it wasn't his fault?! Why wouldn't he take responsibility for it? And why didn't Luke use his head?! Why didn't he think this through? Why didn't he tell a damn soul about his plan?!

A replica or not, he should've known what the hyperresonance would do. Didn't see all of the things Tear could do? And how about what Jade and Raine had done in battles? What about the Zao Ruins when everyone stopped fighting because the ceiling would collapse if they didn't? Luke had worked with fonons before. He'd been using them in battle sometimes. How could someone not know what they were doing? Handling powerful artes like that. What an idiot!

Guy clenched his fists.

Then again… as his caretaker, Guy was responsible for Luke. He didn't teach him either. He just left it all to Van. Didn't Jade comment on that once? Something about not learning how to use fonons? Was that what Van wanted? What was Van even doing? Guy trusted him because Van was once his servant, but this… this shook Guy's trust. Something about it felt deliberate. As if Van intentionally walked Luke down this path. Why would he do that? What purpose would this serve? They wanted revenge for Hod, but Guy didn't want his revenge to look like this… did he? But he didn't do this.

This was Van's doing.

No, that was letting Luke off the hook again. Guy sat down again, with his guilt.

Except that wasn't what really bothered him. He only just realized it as he glanced around at the room, designed eerily similar to the rooms on the Katsbert Ferry—he shook his head. No, it was more than that….

As much as he felt anger and disappointment for Luke behaving the way he did, not accepting responsibility for his actions, Guy felt anger and disappointment at himself for letting him down. Guy was Luke's primary caretaker and he didn't even see this coming, that his own master would've behaved like this after doing something so horrible, or that Luke was capable of making such a huge mistake. Guy knew Luke was selfish and spoiled and he didn't do much to try to change it. Could he have? He really didn't know for sure, but as it was, there was no reason to believe Guy didn't influence Luke's attitude and behavior in some way. He let him get away with yelling at people, with… with abusing them without saying anything to him.

Yeah, he'd let him down.

Guy covered his face with hands and rested his elbows on the table.

But he couldn't say anything to Luke about that. That would let him off the hook. Still, Guy's stomach still roiled at his own failure in raising him.

There had to be something he could've done different. He just let Luke behave and do as he wanted. It wasn't his place to teach his master… except it kinda was. That's why Ramdas hired him. To keep an eye on Luke. To take care of him. To be a sort of big brother role model that would guide him down the right path. Not that he really knew what to do. Even now, he was too disappointed and angry to be there for him. The minute Luke turned to him for support, Guy couldn't help it. He just couldn't. He had to leave.

Regret? For sure, but he couldn't say anything. Not yet. He was still too angry. As much at himself as he was with Luke. Guy slid his hands down until only his mouth and chin were still covered. It didn't matter how Guy looked at it, he was at fault, too.

I'm sorry, Luke.

Even so, Guy jumped to his feet and continued pacing with his hands fisted up. It wasn't just Guy's fault. Luke wouldn't accept responsibility for his actions. That idiot better learn from this!

Finally, he had fallen asleep. Raine closed the door to Luke's room as softly as she could, watching his form disappear as the crack in the door narrowed into nothingness.

But now that he was no longer available as a distraction, she had to muster up ways to ignore her anxiety. This whole thing was such a mess! She thought Sylvarant and Tethe'alla had bad situations, but an entire world upraised and held there by Sephiroth Trees—such an ingenious idea—she couldn't even imagine it. Luke might've destroyed one of the trees, but it was Van who led him to do it. That thought bothered her.

Raine knew something was strange about Van. So many clues added up now, each one punctuated in her mind with each step down the hall. "I've been training Luke for years even before becoming a Commandant." "Did your master teach you nothing but brute force?" "I had no idea what my God Generals were doing." "I was going to save Ion with that, but I can't afford to lose you."

Why would Van destroy Akzeriuth? What was his purpose?

Scarier still... was he finished?

She highly doubted it. Not much would be gained by dropping Akzeriuth by itself. Was he trying to bring the whole world back into the Qliphoth? If so, he had a poor way of doing it so that the people would survive. Surely he intended to save them, didn't he? She didn't know him well enough to know for sure. But if he did this without truly knowing what would happen, maybe it was believable after all that he was incompetent enough to lose track of his God-Generals.

Had she been wrong about how smart he was?

Or did he truly have more sinister motives? Was he more like Kratos, who only pretended to be an ally? Van certainly couldn't have intended to kill all those people, had he? Even Luke…?

Didn't they say in Baticul that Luke had to come to Akzeriuth, that he was the chosen one? The Score, from what little she remembered, didn't mention anyone else. And if the rank of maestro and higher knew that Akzeriuth was going to fall, Van could be a high enough rank to know that Luke could die there. Was a Commandant above a maestro rank?

Yes, he had to be…. He was too well prepared with a plan to save Tear and Ion. Van had said something about saving Ion with the giant bird, but he couldn't afford to lose Asch, so Ion fell with everyone else into the Qliphoth. But something about Luke's creation made sense. Van definitely needed Luke in order to save Asch's life.

But why? What's the purpose for all of this? Was he trying to fight against the Score? Was he working within the Score? Was he perpetuating it? What exactly did Van want from all of this?

And from Asch?

I'm so sick of the Tartarus. I don't want to be around these people anymore but I'm scared to go off on my own. Is this thing haunted?

The Qliphoth really is empty...no matter how far we go, there's still no sign of Yulia City.

Master isn't feeling well, so I'm writing in his place. Mieu!

The Tartarus sailed across the liquefied mud, forever going in the same direction and yet, hardly seeming like it was going anywhere. The only judge of distance Raine had was another massive pillar of light that seemed to move past more slowly than the stars ever had. She could only see it through the glass window of the bridge, but that was enough. It was better than being outside.

The bridge did offer a sort of safe base camp where everyone could spread out and still be in the same room. Each one found their own place. Guy's was the whole room in any spot where someone else wasn't. He flitted from station to station explaining to himself or Ion, the only one who would listen, what this function did or what that button was for. Raine tuned it out as best she could. Listening to him in his own mania mode was a little embarrassing. It just matched too closely to how she felt about ruins.

Instead, Raine had explored the Tartarus little by little but found herself returning a lot to the bridge where everyone slept. They had the option to sleep in separate rooms, but after the first night, most of them abandoned the idea and decided to drag the mattresses onto the bridge so they could sleep in the same room. Anise joked that the ghosts of the dead soldiers were on the ship with them, but Tear didn't like that thought much at all, snapping at her angrily just to hide her own fear. Raine wondered, though, if someone had indeed survived, but she never saw proof of another living soul on board.

Actually, that wasn't quite true. Guy noticed the bits of rice from the cafeteria floor were gone without anyone having swept them up but Tear said Jade was probably toying with them. Natalia agreed with her when she followed the smell of cooked rice and couldn't find where it was coming from. At the time, Jade was the only one unaccounted for. He claimed that he was in the lavatory and had no interest in cooking rice in there.

He wore his sly smile.

No one believed him.

Especially since after the first night, he spent an awful lot of time exploring the Tartarus himself. Strange, Raine thought, since, as a colonel of Malkuth, he knew the landship better than anyone.

He did make a good point, though. "Why would anyone waste time picking up the rice grain by grain when we have other food we can eat?" It wasn't just cooked rice, though. They tried to find the source of other weird smells. Not that they thought there were more bodies to bury in the Qliphoth mud, but a smell hinted that something was rotting somewhere. Raine supposed that could've been someone stealing food from the cafeteria but she doubted it. Who else could've survived? Not that the Tartarus couldn't easily hide someone who didn't want to be found.

Without knowing for sure, though, Raine found it too creepy to sleep alone when she could hear tap-tap-tap in the floor above her or a distant whining of metal against metal as if someone opened a door and then lied about it. When everyone refused to admit getting up at all, let alone going up to the next floor, Raine threw out privacy and opted for the bridge, too. The vehemency of their denials convinced her they all spoke the truth. Except Jade. But anything he said could be just as trustworthy as anything Raine told them.

Not every mystery was him, though. Raine vouched for him herself, and everyone else for that matter, when they all sat in the bridge preparing for bed and they heard a door grinding open somewhere. Raine wasn't even sure the Tartarus had been so still even before they boarded, with their breaths held in their lungs. Too scared to speak, they all simply waited to see what happened next.

"Someone has to be alive…." Anise whispered a quarter hour after the door stopped creaking. Their pale faces all lit up by the blinking lights from the various stations. Raine looked to Jade who frowned at the door. No, it couldn't be him.

But then it happened during one of her explorations of the bunk rooms. Raine had found a nice stash of treasures scattered from a damaged chest and took her time to paw through it. She found some healing items that landed in a pile of clothes and thus survived the fall into the Qliphoth, and a strange-looking thing that she didn't know what it was—a good enough reason to keep it—but something about it seemed familiar though she was sure she'd never seen one before. It just… fit a description she'd heard once. There was also monster parts, a few of which she collected just to have something to trade later. With her bag gaining more weight, she almost feared she wouldn't be able to carry it.

Perhaps she'd hand off some of the healing supplies to Luke and Anise. Or, Tear did say that they should arrive at Yulia City soon. Maybe Raine could trade some of the heavier items for gald just to have some on hand.

Raine slung her bag over her shoulder, opened the door, and stepped out into the hallway—

Just in time to see red and black disappear past a door that slammed shut.

Confused, she stared at the door. What was that? Did someone she know wear red and black? Luke had red hair… No, last she checked, he was in the bridge with everyone else. Why would he come up here? Not to mention he normally wore white, not black. She crossed the hall and pulled the door open.

Asch froze. He had a small pile of spoiled food on the table and in his hand, a pan with a makeshift handle strapped to a broken nub that was the original handle. He had lit a fire in another pan on the table where he apparently planned to dump rice for cooking. Oh, so he was the one who had picked up each grain piece by piece for lack of finding better food. Luke's party left the grains there simply because it was too much trouble to gather them and opted to sweep them up with the rest of the garbage they threw overboard. And then Guy noticed they were missing.

"What?" Asch asked sharply.

Raine stared at him, stepped back, and closed the door again.

Huh. Asch was here…. How? The bird must've dropped him here when it flew away. When? Was he the ghost they had all heard moving around and opening doors while they slept? It was possible. Asch had probably been sneaking into the cafeteria for remnants and that was the best time to do it. He must've hurried to pick up as many as he could when he noticed they were cleaning the cafeteria.

Was that all he was doing? What that all he was up to? It couldn't be much else, given the spoiled remnants he had on the table.

They'd been sailing for a few days now. Clearly if Asch was going to kill anyone, he would've done it already. So far, all he'd done was hide.

No, that wasn't it. He never had the intention of killing them. If he had, he would've let Van do it at Akzeriuth.

But Asch had saved them.

Just like Sheena had saved them at Kvar's ranch. Just like they had saved her in Luin.

Perhaps he'd like something better to eat.

Raine pulled her bag up to dig through it and fished out some beef they managed to cook into something like jerky and some cheese she'd found and shaved off the bad bits. That should tide him over until they reached Yulia City. It was certainly better than the remnants he found. She opened the door again and walked up to set her offerings on the table. All he did was scowl, but his face softened when he saw the quality of the food.

She looked him in the eye. "You haven't harmed us yet. I assume that means you won't. Don't betray that trust before I have reason to tell the others you're here."

He nodded and muttered a small thanks.

Guy heard the footsteps before he saw the person. That was more due to his eyes being closed, though. He was so tired, but so content. The Tartarus was the most amazing thing! Worn out from yet another round of exploration, he had settled on sitting at the rail above the stairs to everywhere, mostly because of his indecision of where to go next.

He'd already examined every square inch of the bridge, poring over the different stations and learning how each one worked. He even had Ion's ear so he could talk about it at length! There wasn't much to the bunk rooms or the meeting hall, and as much as he loved having food available, he was tired of the cafeteria after scrubbing off the stench of rotting food from the counters, cabinets, and the ceiling. But there was so much more to this place! The engine room, the transmission, the sails, and how all of it ran with a combination of gears and fonic artes. He still hadn't explored as much as there was to see, but every bolt seemed to have a fascinating job and story to tell. He had slid down the rail until his head rested at an awkward angle to his body on the floor, nearly asleep when he heard Raine laugh. He rolled over on his stomach to better look at her.

"Oh hey."

"That looks uncomfortable."

"Nah, it's fine." He propped up on his elbows and noticed her bag of holding seemed to have swollen significantly. So much so that she set it down on the top step just so she wouldn't have to hold it. Pillaging from the dead apparently wasn't beneath her at all. A part of him frowned but another part was kind of amused. It was probably a good thing she didn't settle down anywhere. If she owned a house, it would likely be stuffed to the ceiling with everything she could find to keep. He knew better than to ask about it, though, and he rested his chin on his hands as he watched her.

Who knows? Something she'd grabbed might come in handy. "What's up?" He asked her.

"What do you think happened to Asch?" Raine asked. Asch? Why was she thinking about Asch? That's a bit of an out-of-nowhere question if he'd ever heard one.

He raised his head off his hands. "He went with Van."

"Not willingly… It seemed more like Asch could control the bird more than it could control him."

"Er… well…. Where else would he be? He can't be down here in the Qliphoth." At least Guy hoped. If he was, he'd be dead.

"No, I suppose not." But the way she turned away, Guy raised an eyebrow. Did she think something else happened? Why would she think that? Then she asked, "Do you think he's a threat?"

"I don't know what to think," Guy admitted. "He's the one who rescued Tear and told us what Van was doing. I thought he might be an enemy, but I just don't know. I mean, how would he leave the Qliphoth if he was here?"

"The bird, I presume," Raine said as if it were the most obvious answer. Based on how she held her eyes and how her body slumped a little as she sat down, he knew she didn't believe it. When she looked up at him again, she must have realized he saw through her. "More likely? The same way Tear did. Tear is from the Qliphoth and yet we met her on the surface." Oh yeah… That made sense! How did she get up there, anyway? "She definitely has some way to get back to the Outer Lands."

"That must be why you're so calm now."

Raine nodded. "I just need to return to the Outer Lands, repair the Rheaird, and find Genis. Everything else is irrelevant."

"Everything else…?" Damn… The party must've meant very little to her. Something about that stung. "Why worry about Asch then?" She just shrugged. Yet it was more proof that she didn't trust them at all. No, Guy didn't want to think like that. If she didn't trust them at all, she wouldn't have joined them to Akzeriuth….

What would it take to drag down this woman's barriers?! He didn't bother asking, though. He studied her and watched the shadows in her face. She really missed Genis. It was a bit like watching a lonely heart break right in front of him. How long has she been feeling this way? Last he checked, she was fine. "Hey, are you all right?"

Raine raised her head as Guy pressed his face against the bars. She nodded, but she lacked conviction. He knew better than to believe her. He added, "You just haven't looked quite the same."

"You either," Raine replied. She brushed the bangs from her face and shifted in her seat on the step. "You livened up a little bit at the prospect of exploring the Tartarus, but I can still see that sadness in you."

"Yeah…. All that effort to save those people and we couldn't save any of them." That bothered him. Did it bother her a lot, too? He thought back to John and how she played with him before he died, how John came running over with a shoe and handed it to Guy. Even now, Guy thought it was funny. What were they going to do with a single shoe? But then he'd be dragged down to the reality that John died. He was so small. Maybe she was still pining over that.

"And the man I healed with the unicorn horn did so much better."

Oh, right! The unicorn horn. Did that mean it was real? "Do you really think it worked?" Well… he'd seen it for himself that she healed the whole party with it, but she was just a powerful arte user and a powerful healer. She didn't really need the unicorn horn to heal them. It had to be an act.

"Why are you so surprised?" She asked. He didn't answer. He didn't believe in unicorns any more than he believed in elves, surely she knew that. "Never mind." Yeah, apparently she did. Her face tinged pink a little. She was sure pretty, even with that blush.

Okay, too awkward. Guy thought quickly for a new direction of topic. "I've been thinking about what you said, about who knew this would happen. It is possible that this wasn't written in the Score." Guy said. "Maybe Van is working outside of it."

"I suppose so…. I don't know what to believe. I just know I have to go back to my brother."

"Where was Genis when you last saw him?"

"I don't know exactly," Raine said, "but we just left the desert."

"Ah, that's right, the Meggiora Highlands."

Raine frowned as she closed her eyes. Did she just shake her head? He wasn't sure, it was almost imperceptible. She clasped her hands around her knees. "We had just stolen the Rheairds when mine malfunctioned," she said.

Guy nodded. "Yeah, in Sheridan." But then he tilted his head. Something felt off. She refused to meet his eye and there was a pensive expression that wasn't there a second ago. Is she lying about something? But why would she lie? What could she be lying about? She rubbed her left wrist almost absentmindedly and didn't say anything else. He deflated a little. No, maybe she wasn't lying, but… she definitely shut down on him.

Was he doing something wrong? She did seem to want to spend a lot more time on her own than usual. Perhaps that was because the Tartarus allowed for a lot of alone time with its sheer size and number of rooms. Or was it the events at Akzeriuth? Was she still upset about John and his father? If she was, he hadn't noticed. He'd been too busy taking care of everyone else.

After chatting a bit with Tear, Natalia, Ion, and Anise, Guy concluded everyone was all right and there was no reason to worry. But maybe he'd left her out. After all, Raine was the first to perk up and suggest looking for supplies, and she certainly seemed fine ever since, there was simply no reason to. She'd had other times when she looked worse than she did now. Why worry about anyone else anymore except Luke, but Raine seemed to be taking care of him just fine. Luke wanted to spend more time alone and really came back to the bridge to sleep and eat with everyone else, though quietly and not really as part of the group. He more kept off to the side by the defense station.

Guy had a small suspicion that if it wasn't for the ghost noises at night, he probably wouldn't even see Luke until they arrived at Yulia City.

Maybe he should go check on him anyway. But for now, Raine needed something to distract her. Oh!

"You know, I'm kinda curious about something," Guy said. Raine acknowledged him by nodding but she said nothing. He took it to mean he could ask. "What is Martel?" Raine kept her silence, staring at some unseen thing right in front of her and not looking at him. Damn. She still shut down on him. But she didn't quite invoke the pact…. Not really. "You said it was a name, but was it the name of a person?" She turned thoughtful, perhaps weighing the pros and cons of telling him. A small nudge shouldn't hurt, right? "It's okay, you can tell me."

Raine inhaled a deep breath and let it out. "I'm not so sure I can," she said finally. She turned her back to him. Should she? Should she not? If only she had something like the Score to tell her what would happen. Except that was precisely the problem: she wasn't in it.

"What's the worst thing that can happen?" The light tone of his voice told her that he really didn't think anything bad about her secrets. Would that change if she told him?

Still massaging her left sleeve where her exsphere was, she hesitated. "You might decide to kill me."

Guy laughed. "You're not serious. Why would I do that?"

"I can hold you to your word then?" She faced him again with a serious expression. As soon as he saw it, his face hardened and his laughter died in his throat. Well, he knew it now. She really was serious.

"You... you really mean that." He rose to sit fully upright, the incredulity of it written all over his face. She could tell, he didn't want to believe it. "You really think I would kill you. Over something like Martel." It wasn't a question, so he wasn't expecting an answer.

She gave him one anyway and nodded. "Though not for reasons you think."

"Give me some credit," he growled. She ignored the way his nose wrinkled as he said it. Not that she blamed him. No one wanted to be accused of stuff like that. "I wouldn't hurt anyone without a reason. Do you really think I have one?"

Knowing the Score and those who followed it…. "Yes, I think it's likely you have one."

"I suppose. But hey, I've let go of my feelings about wrongdoings against me. It's as you say, if you don't forgive, you'll never be happy. I've internalized that as well." Raine mused over that. He did seem the kind of person who lived for forgiveness. After all, there was a time when he wasn't such a good person; he'd admitted that once. "You are the most guarded person I've ever met," Guy said, finally. "Would it help if I shared something about me?"

Raine offered an indulgent smile. "Something about you? Like what?"

"How about this? I tell you a secret and you tell me what Martel is."

"Okay." She could do that without telling him everything. Just like with Jade. His eyes widened with surprise.

"Really? What about—" He shook his head. He clearly wasn't expecting a favorable answer. "Never mind."

He inhaled deeply, preparing himself for her reaction. She waited until he closed his eyes and finally said, "I was born in Hod." He checked her reaction through a one-eyed peek, but she was more confused than surprised.

Where was Hod? Raine checked her memory, but Elder McGovern never mentioned Hod on the map. She pulled the map out of one of Elder McGovern's books and unfolded it, searching for a location that could've been Hod.

"Bring that here."

Raine complied and stood up to hold it out for him. Guy reached through the rail and pointed to a spot on the map that looked like a hole in the ocean, but the map didn't indicate any land there. Or ocean for that matter.

"Hod." In fact, she wasn't even sure anything was there. It looked like someone deliberately painted over that part of the world. She'd wondered about it before, but she had other things on her mind and didn't bother asking Elder McGovern about it. He didn't seem to think it was important, so why should she?

Suddenly, she realized what he was trying to say. "Hod... was an island that fell into the Qliphoth?"

"Yeah, I guess it did."

"You guess?"

"It was destroyed when I was a kid, and it left a gaping hole, so…."

The hole was in the northern hemisphere. "Owned by Malkuth..."

He didn't speak that time, but merely nodded. He was born in Malkuth, but now he claimed to be a Kimlascan working for Duke Fabre... Wait. Why Duke Fabre?

"Was it related to Duke Fabre?" she asked, though more to herself than to him. Something about that felt odd. He nodded again, but this time looked her in the eye.

"I don't know exactly what happened, but I knew he was that one who attacked us the night I lost everything… the night Hod fell." Hod fell because of Duke Fabre?

"He destroyed your home. He…" lost everything? She suddenly realized it, "He killed your family." Guy turned away. Of course! That's why he attacked Luke when he was irrational. Luke's family was the reason Guy lost his. But… "Why would you work for him, then?"

Guy shrugged. "People do strange things," he said somberly. Because you were mad? Raine wondered. He claimed he hadn't always been a good person. If he worked for Duke Fabre, he could've had a plan for revenge. Did he carry it out? She wasn't sure, but he definitely pondered something now, like he was trying to make up his mind.

Finally, he unlatched the choker from his neck and opened the locket, holding it out for her to see. Strange… he'd never wanted to show her before. She wasn't sure what to expect, so it took a moment to register and recognize what it was. Someone had painted an ornate family crest into the locket and she understood. If Guy thought that she would recognize it, she would've known that he was from Malkuth, from this specific family. But as an alien of Auldrant, she didn't know this crest. He had no way of knowing that, though. For all he knew, she was familiar with his family's crest, and his concern meant his family was actually fairly prominent. Even the quality of the painting suggested as much. They paid a talented someone a decent amount of gald to paint it.

Raine looked up at him and handed the locket back. "You're no servant, that's for sure."

"No, but I think you suspected that already." He took it and returned it to his neck. "My father was a count. He was in charge of the whole island of Hod until it fell. My father's sword hangs in the Fabre manor, and you can guess all you need to know about that." Raine nodded. That sword looked very expensive and seeing it hanging in the Fabre home was probably a splinter in Guy's heart the whole time he lived there. Yet he didn't seem to feel his resentment so strongly anymore and she wondered why. What changed? Before she could ask, though, he continued. "Anyway, now it's your turn. It's killing me that I can't figure out what Martel is."

"Okay," Raine said. She folded up her map and stuffed it back into a random page in a book. Just like he had to take a moment, she searched for the right words to explain it. How much should she say? He still didn't know she wasn't from Auldrant so she had to choose her words carefully. "Martel is a—person, sort of. She's very famous where I'm from." She deliberately stared into his eyes, almost hoping he would pick up the hint like she did when Sheena told her something similar.

"What is she famous for?"

"Kind of like Yulia," Raine said. "She was revered as a goddess."

"For what, though? I've never heard of her, and to think she's done something as amazing as Yulia has... the whole world should know who she is."

"Exactly." Raine smiled at him but she could tell he was just as confused as ever. His brow furrowed.

"That... that doesn't help me understand anything about you." She heard the hurt in his voice. Suddenly, she couldn't stand looking at him. "I just told you I'm from Malkuth. Do you know how big of a scandal that is? But the more I hear about you, the less I feel like I understand."

Raine hardened and looked back at him. "The deal was about Martel. I told you the truth, she was a woman, famous as a goddess," she slowed her speech to stress another hint, "the world over."

He all but threw his hands in the air. "That raises more questions than answers!"

"You're right. It's not fair, is it?" She crossed her arms. "How about expanding your thinking beyond what you believe is possible. Just like the Qliphoth exists and we never knew, perhaps there is more to our understanding than anyone wants to believe."

Guy's eyebrows furrowed. "You're just as confusing as ever! Let your damn guard down and just tell me what you're trying to say!" Even as angry as he looked, he reminded her of a prisoner behind bars for some wrongdoing with the way he gripped the bars between them.

Raine inhaled a deep breath. I can't… if I tell him, I'll be killed. "Think about it, Guy. If everyone should know who Martel is and you've never met anyone who does, why would both be true?"

"Why the puzzles?"

"Because I can't fully trust you." She picked up her bag, swung it back over her shoulder, and marched up the stairs onto the bridge.

Damn that Raine! She's so frustrating!

Guy punched the nearest bulkhead and leaned his head against it. He flat-out shared his secret with her and all he got in response was a deeper mystery. What in the hell was she trying to say? He turned around and let the wall support his weight. But as maddening as her puzzle was, the last thing she said really struck him. I can't fully trust you.

Why was she so guarded? She'd been guarded ever since he met her. He pinched the bridge of his nose and had to remind himself she treated everyone that way. Gradually, he had to admit, she really was opening up little by little. But why wouldn't she tell him? Why did she think he would kill her? It couldn't be because he knew she was a replica. It had nothing to do with the Score, he was sure. He'd proven that stuff didn't matter. So why?! Why these stupid games?

Haven't I shown her I'm a decent man? He shook his head. What was it about him that she still feared?

At the same time as he felt frustrated, he felt like the answer was right in front of him, if only he could grasp it. A woman everyone knew but no one had heard of? How could that be possible?

A/N: Hi, Peeps!

Posting Luke's journal in this chapter was totally intentional because I knew it would be so long before I would post. It had absolutely nothing to do with forgetting. Nope. Nothing. 😊

So, I've heard fans comment on everyone's reaction to Luke, and since the story is half about Guy, I wanted to kind of show my interpretation of what was going on in Guy's mind. I felt he would be ashamed of Luke but also feel a bit guilty himself for not doing more to stop him. I'd like to know what your thoughts are on that. Do you think Guy felt that way?

Also, I finally posted the part from what? Two, three chapters ago that I put into a preview? I've added that much since then. So yeah, that's why you hadn't read it before now.

Thank you all so much for hanging with me during this incredibly long wait! 39 and 40 shouldn't take too terribly long. I'm hoping to get them posted by or during Thanksgiving weekend. After that, there are several chapters ready (and have been for a long time) with another series of my favorite parts of the book. So the wait won't be too long this time.

I really appreciate all of my readers, those who comment and kudos and those who support me from the shadows. And thank you to the new readers who showed up during the wait. All of you guys are so awesome! :D

Happy Halloween!

~~Kat =^-^=