We crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow.
-Fulton Oursler
Topanga had been scheduled to work but decided to take the day off from her office to enjoy some quality time with the family. However, both Riley and Auggie took off on her to be with friends, leaving her alone with her husband. It amused her that things worked out this way- had she tried to plan a day alone with Cory it would have no doubt backfired on her and she would have ended up with a house full of kids. Cory, however, was unaware of this turn of event as he was unable to think of anything other than Shawn. Ordinarily, that would irritate her, but their friend was heavy on her mind as well.
The only contact they'd had with Shawn was the two short texts he sent Cory the night before. He was unreachable afterwards. They had not heard from Jon or Audrey either and that was very unusual. Cory, desperate for some word on their best friend, tried multiple times to call the Turner house, but Topanga strongly advised against it in case things had gone badly with Shawn. She knew eventually they would hear from Audrey if Jon didn't get a hold of Cory first. Unfortunately, not knowing what was going on was driving her husband crazy.
Topanga busied herself with unfinished household chores to take the edge off her concern. On her third trip downstairs from the kids' rooms, she caught her husband chewing nervously on the nails of his right hand. Horrified by the damage he was inflicting on himself; she ran over to stop him. Cory looked up at her, looking more like a lost puppy than an adult father of two.
"Cory, what are you doing?" she asked, grabbing his hand away from his mouth.
"What?"
He really didn't know what he was doing, Topanga realized by the surprised look on his face when she pointed it out to him.
"Cory, we'll hear from them...one of them eventually," she assured him, gently rubbing his damaged fingertips. "Just don't freak out. I need you to not freak out."
"I can't help it, Topanga. You didn't see the look on Shawn's face before he left the bakery," he fretted, unconsciously trying to take his hand back. "He won't respond to calls or texts. I don't know what to do."
"Be patient," was all she could say. In truth, she didn't know what to do either, but she worried that if she voiced anything that wasn't positive, he might completely fall apart on her.
If it had been anyone else in the world, Cory would be fine in time. But this was Shawn they were dealing with. If he didn't come around, if he should severe the friendship, that would be the end of life as she knew it. Cory would never recover from the loss. Before she could say anything else to him, the doorbell rang. Topanga silently blessed whoever it was for giving them a much needed interruption as she went to the door.
"Shawn!"
At his name, Cory, with more dexterity than he'd displayed in years, leapt over the back of the couch and was at her side.
It was Shawn at their door but the look on his face froze Cory and he took several steps back to give his best friend some space to enter.
Shawn said nothing as he stepped over the threshold. He gave Topanga a glance before returning his gaze to Cory.
"I'm here for my stuff," he said flatly. There was no emotion on his face.
Cory would have been lying if he said Shawn's appearance didn't scare him just a little. All he could think about was the last time they had seen each other and how that meeting ended. He stuttered out a response that made little sense.
"Everything is Auggie's room," Topanga offered when Cory did not. She hoped it would appease him and that he might stay long enough to make peace with her husband.
Cory shot her a dirty look. He didn't want Shawn to know that until they'd had a chance to talk. If he knew where his things were he might take off on them. He looked back to find Shawn within inches of his face with that same dead expression. He held his breath and watched in confusion as his best friend's face morphed into a big grin.
Shawn started laughing. He grabbed Cory into a bear hug. For the first time in their friendship Cory did not return the hug. He couldn't. He was completely disarmed and stupefied. Even his wife seemed uncertain about the abrupt change.
Shawn looked back and forth between them. "Lighten up, guys," he chuckled at their expressions. "Everythin' is okay."
"Are you sure?" Topanga asked hesitantly. Cory was unable to say anything.
"Yeah, I am. Really." He was surprised by their cautiousness. "I met with both Audrey and Jon yesterday. I was out with the family last night when I texted you. I turned off my phone later and it wasn't until I was almost here that I realized I forgot to turn it back on." He turned to Cory. "Sorry about that, man."
Cory shook his head. "It's fine," he said unsteadily, feeling as though he had just stepped off the Gravitron. He felt woozy and disoriented.
"So," Topanga asked, trying hold back her excitement at hearing that he did meet up with their friends. "How'd things go with Jon?"
"Great," Shawn assured her. "It went really great. Thank you both for making me do that. I really needed it." To Cory he specifically said, "Thank you for not giving up on me."
"Yeah, well, giving up really wasn't an option," Cory shrugged, finally regaining control over his speech. He was relieved but still worried that Shawn wasn't being completely honest with them. This was a drastic change from the last time he saw him. "Why are you getting your stuff?"
"I still gotta work."
"Yeah, but you're staying with us," he insisted. "So just leave it here."
"I'm not stayin' with you guys, but thanks. I am stayin' in the City, so don't worry- I'll be around. A lot." With that he bounded up the stairs to Auggie's room.
Cory should have been thrilled to hear this, but he wasn't. Something didn't feel right about this sudden turnaround. He looked to his wife for help.
"This is good," she told him. "It's a start."
"I don't know, Topanga," Cory shook his head. "We haven't heard from Jon or Audrey, and I think if he really met with Jon we would have. This would be huge for Jon, and we've heard nothing."
"I know. I know." Topanga didn't know what else to say. She was also experiencing a bit of worry hangover.
The doorbell rang again, and they looked at each other in surprise. Once again, Topanga answered the door. This time it was Grayson.
"Hi, Aunt Topanga. Hi, Uncle Cory," he greeted them cheerfully. "I stopped to play with Mrs. M's boxer before coming over."
The couple exchanged looks. It was an interesting coincidence that Grayson showed up while Shawn was with them.
"Hey, G," Cory said more jovially than he felt. "How's hockey going?"
"Good, I just got moved to center." The boy looked around their home curiously. It was the first time since he started seriously playing hockey that he wasn't eager to talk about it. "Hey, is Shawn almost ready? We're supposed to play his PS1 today."
Cory and Topanga looked at each other in amazement. Slow grins spread simultaneously over their faces.
"Yeah, he's getting his stuff," Cory told him. "He should be down soon."
Sure enough, they heard Shawn thundering down the stairs with his equipment bag in hand. When he saw Grayson at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him, he grinned and ruffled his hair. Cory felt himself on the verge of tearing up at the sight of this. Topanga already was.
"Welcome home, Shawn," Cory said quietly.
Shawn didn't say anything, he just reached out to hug Cory. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Topanga. A few tears had managed to slip down her cheeks. He reached out and pulled her into the embrace.
"It's good to be home."
The three lifelong friends stood like that for a long moment before letting go of each other. Shawn looked expectantly at Cory and held out his hand,
"My wallet?"
Sheepishly, Cory reached into his back pocket, took the wallet out, and handed it back to its owner.
"I can't believe you stole my wallet!" Shawn gave him a mock scowl as he put his wallet in his own pocket.
"I didn't!" the teacher laughed. "I found it on the couch. You should pay more attention to your stuff!"
"You know," Topanga said as Shawn and Grayson headed towards the door. "There's an apartment just down the hall that's opening up next week."
Cory beamed at Shawn with his arms held out wide full of hope that they would finally be neighbors. Shawn hated to disappoint him, but he had to decline. "I have a place already," he said apologetically.
"Yeah!" Grayson interjected. "If you wanna see Shawn, come over to my house. He's just down the hall from Jamie and me!"
Cory's grin got impossibly large, and he felt like he could burst from joy. That Shawn would finally be staying in the room that had waited for him all these years was better than anything he could have hoped for.
His best friend truly was home.
Audrey was growing increasingly concerned about Jon's health. He was always exhausted when he was home, and his self-care had fallen off drastically. She suggested that he take some time for himself to get some rest. But rather than nap as she'd hoped, he said he had some reading to do. She let him go while biting back a sharp remark that the reading had better not be for work. It would only make him retreat if she said anything against work if that was what he wanted to do.
Frustrated, she ended up in the kitchen, absently trying to figure out what to do for dinner that was hours away. Julia wandered into the kitchen for a soda and asked where her father was. When she told her, Julia frowned and wrinkled her nose.
"Why don't you go with him?"
"He wants to read."
"What do you want to do?"
"Sleep."
"So sleep."
Julia convinced her that she was okay with dealing with the kids, of which there were only two since Grayson was with Shawn, while she relaxed. She kissed her daughter's cheek in gratitude and left to make the trek up to the bedroom. Brownstone homes had not been designed with pregnant women in mind; there were far too many stairs. Audrey made it as far as Jon's office before sagging against the wall to rest.
Jon's office.
The concerns that she had been trying to ignore before Shawn came home now surrounded her. Did it bother her that he chose to read over spending some time with her?
So yes. Yes, it did bother her. Very much.
She knocked without thinking on the door. Knocking on closed doors was something they strove to model for their children when they were young and, after four kids, it was a habit that stuck; she and her husband sometimes found themselves knocking on the door of their own bedroom waiting for someone to respond.
When he didn't answer she gently pushed the door open. Sometimes, he could get so engrossed in a book that he couldn't hear anything, even if the house was falling down around him. She was surprised to find that he wasn't there.
Audrey frowned and let out a weary sigh. On his desk was the book he was reading: Reaching Your Prodigal: What Did I Do Wrong? What Do I Do Now?
Audrey sighed again this time in mild frustration. That book was from "the wall". One wall of Jon's office was all bookcases packed with books from floor to ceiling. One section of the wall housed a collection of books similar to the one he was reading that she hated. It wasn't because they weren't good books; they were. It was the reason for them that she could not stand. The reason the collection continued to grow, the reason they were reread, was not based on reality but regret and fear of a future-possible.
Audrey stared at the shelves filled with titles like: Parenting Mistakes that Push Your Child Away, The Importance of Winning Your Child's Heart, Surviving a Prodigal: Studies for Parents of Prodigals, Reclaiming our Prodigal Sons and Daughters: A Practical Approach for Connecting with Youth in Crisis, Parents with Broken Hearts: Helping Parents of Prodigals to Hope, Parenting the Strong-Willed Child: Fortifying Our Youth and Healing Our Prodigals, The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, Better Dads, Stronger Sons: How Fathers Can Guide Boys to Become Men of Character, How to Become the Husband and Father Your Family Needs, The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are, How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk: Deepen Your Connection and Strengthen Their Confidence, Keep the Doors Open: Lessons Learned from a Year of Foster Parenting, and so many more.
To those on the outside, these books made sense for a well-read man who was a former English Literature teacher and current superintendent. However, Audrey saw something else entirely. These were not an educator's resource shelves; this was a wall of unforgiveness. Books that were purchased and read over and over for the purpose of finding flaws in himself that he could fix.
The only problem was he was looking for flaws that he did not have. He was looking to correct mistakes he had not made.
She wished he would get rid of these books. Sell them. Donate them. Burn them. Just get them out of the house. Their children were well-adjusted. Shawn was home. He did not need to torment himself anymore. But she knew he would.
Jon was an expert at giving compassionate, honest advice to people, specifically parents, but he was terrible at applying the same principles to himself. Where he could easily forgive others for their mistakes, he would not forgive himself for the same ones. He would never agree to get rid of them, not until the last child was an adult. Only then could he believe he hadn't failed as a parent. He was a good man and an excellent father and husband. It broke her heart that he couldn't see that; that he heaped expectations on himself that he could not live up to. She was terrified he would break under the pressure.
Audrey was so immersed in her concerns that she didn't hear Jon enter the room. It wasn't until she felt strong hands on her shoulders that she realized he was in the room. She hid her concern the best she could behind a smile as she leaned back against him.
"Hey." He sounded exhausted.
"Hey." She turned towards him and looked into dark eyes that had once been so bright and full of life just two years ago.
"What's up?" he asked, holding her as close as their child would allow as he rubbed her lower back. He couldn't be still. He felt he had to be doing something.
"Nothing." She paused. That wasn't true but she didn't know how much she could say without adding more worry to him. "I was just wondering how you're doing. You haven't had much rest lately."
"I'm fine," he replied, placing a kiss on her collar bone.
Audrey bit back a sigh as he kissed her cheeks and nose. He often did this to avoid talking.
"Jon."
"Hmm?"
"Why are you reading that book again?"
He stopped kissing her and pulled away enough that he could look in her gray eyes that were as tumultuous as the sea in a tropical storm. "I need to," was all he said.
"No, you don't."
"Shawn's home."
"Yes, that's why you don't need these anymore." She motioned to the books behind her.
At that he pulled away completely and went over to his desk. Her heart sank. She knew she should have kept her mouth shut, but she just couldn't do it.
He glanced at her over his shoulder. "I want him to stay."
"He will."
It was barely perceptible, but she saw him shake his head in disagreement. Audrey put a hand over her mouth to prevent her frustration from coming out and closed her eyes. That book and those like it had become like Bibles to him; he was so afraid of doing anything that might alienate his children, especially as they became teenagers that he was constantly scouring those books for a way to prevent it.
When Julia was first born, he struggled to discipline her, preferring to push that job onto her. Though it was hard for him, he did become actively involved in setting and enforcing house rules and they were a solid team by the time Grayson came along. In time, discipline became his strong suit: he was excellent at it as father, assistant principal, then principal. He was fair and balanced, and he had the respect of his children and students.
That is until Julia turned fifteen and he suddenly lost the ability to discipline her. Overnight, he became far too lenient with her even though he knew it wasn't good. And now the other children were noticing it. Jon blamed the loss of control on Julia being a teenager and a girl and not knowing how to navigate that.
Audrey knew better. He had years of experience with teen girls during his career, enough that he could apply it to his daughter. There was only one reason that he would suddenly shy away from this area with Julia. It was the same reason for rereading those books. Jon had convinced himself that his failed attempts to create and enforce rules and be a good father were reasons why Shawn went back to his dad and created the rift between them.
"He's not fifteen anymore."
"I know that."
"Then why are you reading that book again?"
He didn't answer. Audrey couldn't hide her frustration anymore.
"The reason Shawn left had nothing to do with you and everything to do with Chet!"
Still, he said nothing. Finally, he turned and sat on the edge of his desk. "I wasn't there when he really needed me."
"When was that?"
"Not signin' those papers sent a very clear message to him. I should have signed them. I had no reason not to."
It was Audrey's turn to be silent. She shouldn't say anything; she was getting too upset. But she couldn't stay silent either.
"Jon, we've been over and over this. Signing those papers may not have changed anything. Chet would have still come back, and Shawn would most likely still have wanted to be with him. He loved us but he still loved Chet. And you know what Chet did when he found out. You have to let this go. You didn't fail Shawn- Chet did!"
"There were things I shoulda done better," he insisted, his voice rising in frustration. "I wasn't strict enough with him. I didn't teach him enough." He was yelling now, but it wasn't directed at her. "I wasn't home enough. I shouldn't have dated while he was with me."
Why didn't I handle things better?
"And I should have told you about my eating disorder the first time you asked," she snapped back just as sharply, causing him to look up. "If I had, I wouldn't have had my student teaching terminated and we could have stayed together. I would have been there for you both when Chet came back. It's my fault that things turned out the way they did with Shawn."
Jon stared at her like she'd had a psychotic break. "What are you talkin' about? It wasn't your fault," he insisted adamantly.
"It wasn't yours either! Don't you see what you're doing?! You've got to stop flogging yourself for what Chet did!" She didn't mean to yell at him. The emotional upheaval of the day before and the hormones she was dealing with got the better of her. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, on the verge of tears.
"It's okay." He reached over for her hand. "I just...I just don't wanna take the chance of losin' one of the other kids the way I lost Shawn."
"That's not possible, Jon," she said wearily into the collar of his shirt. She was suddenly feeling very weak and nauseated. "Shawn's problems began long before you came into his life. Our kids have always had you and you are nothing like Chet. Nothing. His sins are not yours." Audrey's groan of frustration into his chest sounded more like a growl. "You can't repeat mistakes you never made."
"I know," he sighed sounding though the last of his energy was depleting rapidly. "I just can't take the chance. Not while they're still at home."
Audrey clung to him as though she might lose him completely if she lost physical contact with him. Tentatively, she ventured, "I think you should see David again."
"What?" Jon was not expecting that. He knew the David she was referring to: Dr. David Durran. He was a close family friend, but initially he had been their marriage counselor. "I don't understand. We're fine, Audrey." He was suddenly very worried about something that had not previously crossed his mind. "Aren't we?"
"Yes," she assured him. "But I'm worried about you. You're under so much pressure and you're not talking to me like you used to. Maybe it would help to see him."
"No," he said firmly after a while. He rubbed her back in long gentle strokes; touch was her love language and he tried to always indulge that as much as he could. It also tended to distract her from things he did not want to deal with. "It's not that serious. If I really need to talk, I'll call Eli. But I'm fine, Aud, really, I am."
Audrey despised the word "fine".
Grayson ran up ahead of Shawn to set up the PlayStation. His chosen game was Crash Bandicoot Warped and Shawn knew he was going to get his butt handed to him by a ten-year-old because it had been years since he played any videos games. Grayson would have to choose a game he had played all of once.
Shawn hauled his equipment up the stairs. It was heavier than it should have been. Perhaps he should have checked to make sure he had everything of his and nothing of Auggie's in there. Stopping by the door of Jon's office, Shawn started to unzip the camera bag, but the sounds coming from the office made him stop.
He couldn't tell what was being said, only how. Nausea swept over him and sweat beads formed across his brow. He had heard these sounds many times in his childhood, but these were sounds he never dreamed he would hear within these walls.
Jon and Audrey were yelling at each other.
The unkind and abusive words his parents used to hurl at one another came at him with a vengeance. Shawn dropped his bag and put his hands on either side of his head trying to stop the painful throbbing. He had no idea how long he stood there listening to the yelling and he wasn't sure whose yelling he was actually hearing- Jon and Audrey or ghosts from his past. At some point, he became aware of a small presence beside him. It was Grayson looking anxiously at him rather than at his father's office door.
"Shawn, are you okay?"
Shawn blinked and listened carefully. All was quiet and still. No yelling.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said softly, still at attention to what was going on around him. Arguing was always followed by something else equally unpleasant: slamming doors, something breaking, a fist through a wall, sobbing. But there was nothing. Nothing but silence.
Shawn straightened up. "Sorry. Head started hurtin'," he tried to explain to the young boy, not wanting to upset him.
"We don't have to play if you don't feel like it."
Grayson's large brown eyes stared up at him with deep concern. Shawn summoned up everything he had to smile.
"Nah, I'm fine. Really. Let's go play some Crash."
Grayson nodded, still unsure. He helped Shawn gather his bag from the floor and walked beside him in case his brother should need him. Before going into his room, Shawn cast a worried look back down at the end of the hall. Maybe he had been hearing things.
But he knew he hadn't. He knew something was wrong between Jon and Audrey.
Dinner was a family event whether everyone in the family wanted it to be or not. Julia was the one who wanted to eat in her room away from the others. Grayson was the one advocating for her to do so; he figured dinner would be more fun without her. But he got over the disappointment of his sister being forced to stay at the table quickly when Jon told him he could sit by Shawn.
Shawn found out from Audrey that on nights when Jon was home for dinner, meals tended to last much longer than normal due to all the talking. She told him to feel free to leave if it got too much. He didn't ask her about it then, but it was alarming to him to hear that Jon rarely made it to dinner during the school week.
"We're not allowed to say 'booty' or 'shut up'," Grayson was telling Shawn about the family while happily throwing various members under the bus. "So, Jamie called Julia the worst thing he could think of. He called her a 'booty shut up'." He started laughing so hard tears escaped the corner of his eyes.
Jamie looked at his parents then at his sister. "Well, she is," he said quietly, sinking down in his seat watching to see if the adults heard him. The coast seemed clear, and he sat back up only to catch a warning look from his father. He smiled sheepishly and went back to eating his chicken nuggets.
"So what?" Julia responded to Grayson while shooting daggers at Jamie. "When Grayson was three, he had a meltdown because the door of his imaginary car wouldn't open, and he was stuck inside."
Instead of being offended, Grayson grinned. "I was so cute."
Everyone laughed except Julia who rolled her eyes, trying to hide a smile.
"As I recall" Audrey added to Grayson's story telling. "When Julia was three, we were driving to Philly on our own and she kept begging to have her window down. I wouldn't let her because we were on the interstate. She began to cry. And she wouldn't stop, so I turned the music on and up. After about half an hour, she stopped and asked me, 'Mommy, why am I crying?' She sat there all that time crying and didn't know why."
"I was cuter," Julia stuck her tongue out at Grayson.
"Last week," Jon said pointing to the toddler who was standing up in her highchair trying to get Shawn's attention. "Bella got mad that someone took a bite out of her strawberry. It was her. She was the one who took a bite out of her strawberry."
The family was in tears by the time the story telling was done. Shawn very much wished he had been there to experience them firsthand.
Because it was Saturday, a movie was chosen by the kid of the week from the family film collection. It was Jamie's turn, much to everyone's chagrin, as it meant watching A Bug's Life for the hundredth time. Because Shawn had not seen the movie Jamie sat on his lap and gave him the play-by-play throughout the entire film. By the movie's end, it was safe to say Shawn still had no idea what A Bug's Life was about. Jon left once the lights went back on to get Bella ready for bed. When he brought her back to the family room, she ran around giving everyone kisses and saying goodnight until her father caught her. They could still hear her saying "goo- ight" all the way up the stairs.
Since it was Shawn's first family night, Audrey told Jamie to let him pick the board game they would play. He couldn't remember the last time he had played a board game. He looked at the extensive game collection and found Balderdash. It was his favorite game. He, Jon, and Audrey used to play on Friday nights when he was in high school. Balderdash was based on an old game called Dictionary. As he was looking for the game over, trying to recall the rules, Julia wandered over trying to remain aloof.
"Is that what you're choosin'?" she asked arching an eyebrow with an expression that looked very much like her father.
"Yeah, why?"
"IDK," she shrugged. "We just don't play it much."
"You don't like it?"
She didn't answer his question. "Jamie's a pain in the butt if we don't play Splat."
"Oh."
"Please don't pick Splat."
Shawn smiled and brought Balderdash to the coffee table. The object of the game was to come up with a definition for each word being played that could be mistaken as the correct definition by the other players or pick the right definition for each word being played. If those playing were creative, the game could be incredibly humorous. The fun was to come up with the most outrageous, but believable definition possible.
Jon still hadn't returned by the time the game was set up, but Audrey told them to start anyway; he would join them later. Shawn gave her a quizzical look.
"He always reads Bella a bedtime story," she explained. "And sometimes he falls asleep before she does. He'll be back eventually."
As Julia predicted, Jamie made a nuisance of himself, whining that they weren't playing Splat. Balderdash was hard for a six-year-old to play so Shawn had Jamie join his "team". This delighted the boy and Splat was forgotten. Shawn's chances of winning decreased significantly with his new teammate; Jamie had a tough time keeping their answers quiet until he told him that they were trying to prank the others into choosing their answer as the correct one. This strategy worked. By the time Jon got back to the family, the game was well underway. Because he was late, he joined Audrey, sparking a protest from the kids. Julia thought he should have to play alone due to his status as a former English literature teacher. Ultimately, the teams ended up more balanced: Shawn and Jamie, Julia and Audrey, Jon and Grayson.
Just like when he was a teen, the game lasted until midnight with everyone in hysterics by the time it was over. Shawn couldn't remember the last time he had laughed so hard. There was something cathartic in being completely carefree with family. It allowed him to temporarily forget about all his concerns both about his future and Jon and Audrey's. It was eveb later by the time they all trudged upstairs to bed. The euphoria followed them, and it wasn't until he saw Jon take Audrey by the arm to help her up the stairs that he remembered the incident he had overheard outside of Jon's office. Perhaps, he was hearing things that afternoon. Nothing was out of the ordinary that night.
Everything is fine, he told himself. Nothing bad can happen here.
And that was what he was still trying to convince himself of when he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Sunday was a quieter day. Aside from church and family walk in Central Park, it was a lazy day at home. The only disruption to the tranquility of the weekend was Riley and Auggie coming over while their parents went out for some time alone. Though he'd promised to get to know Riley better, he still wanted to hide when they showed up at the house.
It wasn't the kids themselves that posed the problem. Shawn was worried that Maya might also appear at some point as she was always with Riley. With Maya came reality and it was a reality that Shawn did not want to deal with now. For the time being, if even just for the duration of the weekend, he wanted to forget about being a potential father and husband and just be a son and brother. So he and the boys, including Auggie, holed up in his room playing PlayStation games for most of the afternoon, hiding from the girls and coming out only for snacks.
The rest of the weekend flew by far too fast for Shawn's liking. Monday was a slow start to a normal schedule and most of the day was spent at the rink. Julia had an early morning jump and spins class followed by freestyle time. Grayson had practice that day as well. Dinner was at a restaurant, and everyone went to bed early with no complaints.
Tuesday was Shawn's first experience with a regular schedule in the Turner household. Jon was out of the door before almost anyone else was up and Shawn very nearly missed him. Julia was on her father's heels as he took her to school. The boys, bleary eyed and half awake, stumbled downstairs in time to say goodbye before being hustled back upstairs to get changed for school. Shawn did everything he could to help Audrey get everyone ready without getting in the way. After school was just as hectic with after school activities that saw the family reunited at the ice rink. Then home for dinner, schoolwork, and bed.
The same thing was repeated the next day. And the next. Once they got back from school, Shawn continued his efforts to help Audrey, especially with Bella. On the first day Bella was still a little uncertain about his ability to take care of her, but by the third day she was ordering him around just like she did Grayson and Jamie.
On Thursday after dropping the boys off at school, Audrey decided to take a nap with Bella, leaving Shawn on his own. While he was used to the hustle required for catching planes and other transportation in order to be at some event or shoot for his job, this was a different level of busyness and one that made his head spin. The thing that bothered him about the week was how little he saw Jon. He could only catch a few minutes here and there with him and none of those minutes were uninterrupted. There had already been two nights that Jon didn't make it home for dinner; one night he had a dinner meeting with a parent group, the other night he was simply working late. Although Julia wasn't exactly keen on talking to him, she did confirm what Audrey told him: this was a common occurrence and her dad often missed family meals during the school week. Only occasionally did he ask Audrey to bring him something from home; he usually ate out. This continued to bother Shawn and renewed the worry he had for Jon and Audrey.
Thursday night brought Jon home early, or rather at a normal time. There were no practices or other extracurricular activities, just homework and study for the kids. Jon disappeared into his office for a while but reappeared for dinner. Afterwards, Shawn offered to be on kitchen detail. He was meticulous in a way he never usually was when it came to cleaning.
"Shawn, relax, will you?" Jon told him as he put his dishes into the dishwasher. "You don't have to be constantly doin' stuff for us. You're not bein' charged rent."
Shawn looked up from scrubbing the stove top a bit sheepish. "Yeah, okay. Sorry."
"But do feel free to handle breakfast and lunch on your own. Some things haven't changed."
Shawn saw the twinkle in his eye and laughed. "So, you're sayin' that Audrey's still not my personal chef."
"Nope. Not mine either. Bella's maybe."
He nodded, amused. Since he had Jon's attention for the moment he asked, "Hey, Jon. Is every week this busy?"
"Pretty much. From September to June anyway. It does get better in April when hockey and figure skating wind down until the fall."
"I meant for you."
"No, it's like this pretty much all year. I've got two months off in the summer, though. I'm already lookin' forward to that."
Shawn tossed the cleaning rag back and forth between his hands. "Any chance you could take some time off this weekend? You and Audrey go do somethin'?"
"I wish I could," Jon replied with a far off look in his eye. "But I've got a lot to do around the house."
"Let me do it."
"No, Shawn. You aren't here to work."
Shawn frowned, wondering how he could convince Jon to let him take over some of his responsibilities. "Don't the other kids have chores?"
"Yeah." The older man gave him a curious look.
"Am I one of your kids?"
"Of course, you are."
"Then give me some chores."
"I'll think about it." Jon laughed. Time certainly had a way of changing things. The last time the topic of chores had come up, he was trying to convince Shawn to do them.
For Shawn, Jon's lack of a definitive answer worried him further. Jon was obviously tired, and Shawn thought he would jump at the chance to take a break.
What's wrong here?
"Well," he tried again. "At least let me pick Julia up tomorrow and take her to her skatin' class. You can go home early."
"That would be nice." Jon shook his head. "I don't know, Jules might not like it. That's usually our time together."
"Come on, just this once. Besides, you keep saying Julia and I need to spend time together."
"Maybe." Jon continued to stay away from committing to anything. "Anyway, come by the office on Friday after school. If nothing else, you can come with us to the arena."
It wasn't the answer Shawn was looking for, but it was better than nothing.
Friday morning came and Shawn rolled unhappily out of bed. His sleep had been fractured: too many dreams of what had been- unpleasant and terrifying; too many dreams of what might have been- bittersweet and depressing upon waking and realizing there had never been such experiences.
The last weekday was like every day that had been before it. Shawn and the boys were barely up in time to say goodbye to Jon and Julia. After grabbing a cup of coffee, Shawn turned around to see Grayson and Jamie staring blankly at him as though they might fall asleep on their feet.
Audrey wasn't up yet. Or at least she wasn't downstairs yet.
"So," Shawn drew the word out trying to think of what to do. He went over their schedule in his head. "Go get dressed and I'll fix somethin' for breakfast."
The boys were suddenly awake and most definitely curious about what their brother might consider breakfast. As they ran up the stairs, Jamie yelled back, "We're not allowed to eat anythin' that doesn't have sugar in it!"
Shawn smiled and started opening cabinets. He had no idea what to fix and there was no time for cooking. So, per Jamie's instructions, he found the most sugar-laden cereal, milk, and a couple of oranges and set everything out on the dining room table for the younger boys.
Jamie and Grayson were half-way through breakfast when Audrey finally made it downstairs, full of apologies. She was up most of the night with her back hurting. It was so bad that Jon ended up in the main level guest room so he could sleep. Hearing this bothered Shawn, but Audrey seemed fine with it. Because they were in a hurry and the boys were with them, he held off asking her any questions.
Later, he found her in the living room folding clothes after Bella went down for a nap. Shawn watched her from the doorway for a while wondering how to approach her about his concerns. When he was a teen, he dreamed of Audrey being his mother. At the time, it made sense to him. She was fun and warm, caring and smart, and there was a very maternal side to her that far surpassed her years. Despite her struggle with an eating disorder and the stressful situation with her father, Audrey managed to be the stable influence that both he and Jon needed. She brought a balance to their lives, and they struggled less to live together and navigate the student/teacher, parent/child relationship when she was with them. She was everything his own mother wasn't. Of course, it helped that Jon was everything his father wasn't.
Stepmother, he corrected himself as he thought of Virna. Virna had run away from him and his dad several times. His father usually was able to bring her back until she ran off and took their home with her. That led to Chet taking off to find her, leaving him behind. After a year Virna returned and stayed at the motel on the other side of the highway from them. Cory was the one who went to her and asked her to return. She refused to come back until Chet proved he had changed. Eventually, Virna returned home. But there was no peace. There was rarely ever any peace. She pressured his dad to get a job and pay the bills so that they could become a real family. Everything had to be on her terms and done in the way she wanted, or she wasn't happy, it seemed to Shawn.
His father was no prize and certainly not the man with whom happily ever after could ever be achieved. That he understood and he did not blame her for being unhappy with him. What he never understood was why he was also punished for his father's sins. He was just a kid. Finally, she left them for good. Both of them. He didn't hear from her again until after his father died when she decided that was the best time to let him know that she was not his real mother.
Who does that? You raise a kid their whole life then dump them when you leave their dad and later tell them they weren't yours to begin with?
Her abandonment and her reasons for it still stung and weighed heavily on him. Audrey, who was barely five and half years older than he was, was naturally more of a mother than Virna ever was. Virna was chased by her own demons, and he had accepted that he would not get closure from her. Audrey, who had her share of darkness to deal with, still chose him. She could have just chosen Jon, but she didn't. She always considered them a package deal. Now, with a husband and soon to be five kids, there was no reason for her to still treat him the way she did. It would be enough for him if she treated him like she did Cory. As a good friend, a close friend, her kids' uncle, but she didn't. She still treated him like he was hers. He was still a part of the package. And he loved her for it.
Shawn walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and gave her a light kiss on the cheek.
"Hi, Mama."
She grinned and stopped her folding for a moment. "Hey, love. How are you?"
"I'm good. Let me help."
She started to protest but he gently pushed her to the side and took over folding the towels. Audrey started separating the kids' clothes.
The amount of clothing to be put away was overwhelming. Shawn quietly folded the towels for a while, enjoying her company. Finally, he spoke up, "Aud, how are you and Jon doin'?"
"We're good." She gave him a quizzical look. "What do you mean exactly?"
Shawn shrugged, trying to remain nonchalant. "I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm not used to so many people under one roof, but it just seems crazy all the time. Like do you guys ever have the chance to do anythin' without the kids?"
"We used to," she replied, putting an empty laundry basket on the coffee table. "But things have changed a lot since Jon became superintendent."
"Doesn't that bother you?"
"I don't like it, if that's what you mean. But things like this go in cycles; every time Jon's promoted and has to take on new responsibilities this happens. Then we all adjust, and things get better. The transition is just lasting longer this time. Being the superintendent of New York public schools is not a glamorous nor desirable job."
"It's not?"
"No. We've been through so many superintendents over the years. Most quit before their contracts are up because the job is so stressful. It's pretty much all consuming."
"How's Jon handlin' it?"
"Okay." she paused, pressing her lips into a thin, worried line. "I worry about his health. He doesn't take care of himself like he used to. He comes home drained and weary, but still puts everything he can into the kids. He is dead last on his list of priorities. Actually, I'm not sure he is on his list of priorities."
"Why did he want the job if it's so bad?"
"He didn't seek it out. He was appointed to the position by the school board. Jon was a very successful principal. He took one of the worst high schools for academic achievement and turned it around. I would argue that he was a more successful principal than Mr. Feeny." She gave Shawn a wink and a grin. "But then I may be a little biased."
Shawn smiled.
"He accepted the position because the previous superintendent just walked out. He gave no warning. Nothing. Left a letter of resignation on his desk and never came back. Jon didn't think it was fair to leave the students and their parents hanging so he took the job. He thought being at the top of the chain of command would enable him to make a bigger difference in multiple schools but so far, he's just been knee deep in bureaucratic red tape and juggling a bunch of special interest groups all demanding money for their program. I know the district badly needs him. But we need him here, too. This job does not allow for both."
When Audrey mentioned Mr. Feeny, Shawn thought it was interesting that superintendent was one position his teacher never held. Now he wondered if that was because of what the job entailed.
"You don't like his job," he prompted, hoping she would talk more.
"I don't like that he signed a five-year contract. I wish had only been two."
"Does he like the job?"
"That's the thing, Shawn," she said with a sigh. "He says he does. But I know him. He wants to be back in the classroom. Or at least back in the building as principal again. You should see him when he visits a school. He always ends up in a classroom, sitting on a desk, talking to the kids. Before long he's teaching. He doesn't enjoy dealing with grown adults who expect their fragile feelings to be coddled. But he won't leave before his contract is up. He won't be like those before him. And you know as well as I do how stubborn he is."
"Yeah, I do." There was something that Shawn wanted to ask her, but he didn't want to upset her. Still, his mind wouldn't rest until he asked. "Do you know his secretary?"
"You mean personally?" She added two more of Grayson's shirts to his basket. Shawn took it and handed her an empty one.
"I guess."
"No, I don't. Apparently, she used to teach at John Adams High."
"Yeah," Shawn said slowly. "What do you think about her?"
"Honestly," she laughed and shook her head. "I don't think about her. Why?"
He shrugged. "I mean, doesn't it bother you that one of Jon's ex-girlfriends is workin' for him?"
"No, it doesn't. Are you going to ask if I remember her?"
"How'd you know?"
She smiled affectionately at him. "Because you and Jon are so much alike, and he's asked me that a hundred times since she was hired last summer."
"You really don't remember her?"
"Not really. Shawn, the only teachers I had any contact with other than Jon and Mr. Feeny were Eli and Andrea Nguyen. That's it. I only really spoke to Katherine like once, maybe twice, in all the time I was at John Adams. Jon did a good job of keeping us separated. And yes, I remember the incident at the Library. But if you had asked me before last summer what her name was, I couldn't have told you."
"Doesn't it bother you a little that she's there?" Shawn couldn't believe that he was more bothered by this than she was.
"No, Shawn. It doesn't."
He couldn't let it go that easily. "Why would a divorcee want to work for an ex-boyfriend?"
"I don't know. Curiosity?"
"No," he said confidently, "If it were me and I found out Angela was hirin' an assistant I can tell you I would not be applyin' just because I was curious. If I was just curious, I would google her or find her on social media and find out what happened to her. I wouldn't go to the extreme of gettin' myself hired as her assistant unless I was hopin' for something else."
Audrey didn't correct him. She stayed focused on the clothes in front of her. "Shawn, you really shouldn't assume the worst of people," she chided him gently. "And anyway, Jon doesn't do social media, I do. So, unless she knew we were married, it'd be hard for her to find him."
"Have you been up to Jon's office to check her out?" Her hair was hanging down in front of her face, preventing him from reading her expression, so he couldn't tell if she was unbothered or not.
"I don't have time for that. Besides, I trust Jon. I'm not worried."
Even if she wasn't, Shawn was. Very worried.
"Audrey, why don't you and Jon take off this weekend even if it's just a day. I'll watch the kids."
"I would love that, Shawn, I really would."
"So do it."
She shook her head. "I would if I thought Jon would actually rest. That's what he needs so badly. But he won't. No matter what I say, he'll put pressure on himself to make me happy and won't listen to me when I tell him that what would make me happy would be if he'd chill out. I think breaks are actually more stressful for him than anything." At the preoccupied look on his face, she said. "But you're here now and that makes all the difference in the world, Shawn. It really does. You being here will help him more than anything."
Shawn sighed, discouraged. "I wish you guys would think about it."
"I'll talk to him." She saw the deep worry creasing his features. Taking his face between her palms, she held his gaze steady. "Everything will work out. I promise you, Shawn. We will be good."
Audrey was worried, but she couldn't tell him that. He had enough on his mind. And everything was good for them until Jon became the superintendent. But this also happened when he became an assistant principal, then principal. After an adjustment period, things went back to normal. Just like she told Shawn. Although those periods had not lasted as long as this one, they also didn't have the added stress of another baby.
Still, they would be fine. Their marriage would be fine. Jon would be fine.
Fine. Fine. FINE. That stupid word again!
Shawn was worried that Audrey was ignoring a clear and present threat to her marriage because she had so much to do at home. Miss Tompkins could easily come between her and Jon without either of them realizing it until it was too late. He could not let that happen.
"Come on, Shawn," Audrey said a little too cheerfully. "There's seven more loads of laundry to do!"
That afternoon, Shawn walked down the hallway of the district office towards Jon's office. He was early, but Jon told him to come by whenever he was able to; Julia was with him, and they could keep each other occupied while he finished his day. Shawn rounded the corner and unexpectedly came face to face with a former teacher of his sitting at a desk just outside of Jon's office. Although Ms. Tompkins had been weighing heavily on his mind, it had not occurred to him that he might have to actually deal with her at some point. He checked up on his gait and stopped, wondering if there was some way to avoid her. If he'd remembered that she was stationed outside of Jon's office, he could have timed his arrival for when she was distracted or not there, but he hadn't remembered and was already spotted.
"Shawn?" Ms. Tompkins seemed genuinely surprised yet delighted to see him. "Shawn Hunter?"
"Hey," he responded with significantly less enthusiasm. He took a noticeable step backwards when she got up from her desk and rushed over to him. From the look on her face, he was afraid that she might try to hug him. She was older, of course, but still trim with tan skin, bright blond hair, and crisp blue eyes. Her appearance was a disappointment to Shawn, who was hoping that she might look frumpy or otherwise unattractive.
"Wow," she exclaimed with a bright smile as she looked him over. "You've really grown up! It seems like you should still be that little boy I had in my class one year."
Shawn bristled at this. I was not, he thought indignantly, a little boy. I was fifteen.
She did not say this to slight him, of course, and he had heard both Jon and Audrey make similar comments about former students they hadn't seen in years. Yet still the comment struck a sour chord with him. He felt a defensive edge creep up over his shoulders and his whole body stiffened.
"It's so good to see you! How have you been?"
"Great," Shawn replied in a flat tone. He didn't want to talk to her; he wanted to see Jon.
They now had the attention of everyone in the outer office, all of them former teachers who knew the thrill of running into a former student, especially an accomplished one. They watched the poignant scene with fondness, no doubt recalling their own encounters and the pride they had in those former pupils.
Shawn had never been a teacher, so he did not share their sentiments nor was Ms. Tompkins anyone special to him in that regard. Had it not been for her connection to Jon, she would have simply been one more teacher who couldn't wait to get him out of her class. One he would not have likely remembered. However, the intense heat of the gaze of the people in the room was formidable and he felt pressured into formalities he had no interest engaging in.
"You?" he asked without spirit.
"Oh, wonderful."
She asked so many questions and Shawn tried to answer but most of the time all he heard was "blah, blah, blah".
"Where are you off to next?" She asked him cheerily. If she noticed his attitude at all, she was ignoring it.
"I'm not. I'm stayin' with my folks for a while and doin' some freelance work."
"I didn't know your parents lived here. When did they move to New York?"
Shawn doubted she remembered anything at all about his parents. "'98," he said shortly.
"Wow. That long?" She seemed to take this in with interest. "Wouldn't that have been around the time you graduated?"
"The summer after." He watched her carefully, wondering how much she knew about Jon's past and if anything he said might catch her attention.
"Small world, huh?"
"I guess."
"How are your parents, Shawn?"
Shawn paused for a moment, carefully gauging his words. "They're good. Busy. My mom's gonna have her sixth kid in May."
"Oh. Wow. That's a lot of kids."
He went on, chattering with feigned geniality as though she was a favorite teacher, carefully watching her reaction to his words. "Yeah, she's got three boys and two girls, so we're all kinda hopin' for another girl to make things even. It's cool but a little weird. I mean there's like a seventeen-year gap between me and my sister, now there's gonna be a thirty-three-year gap between me and this one.
This caused Katherine to stop asking pleasantries. It was obvious she was trying to recall any details she could about his parents and was coming up blank.
Shawn stifled a smirk and asked innocently, "So when did you move here?"
"I moved after my divorce three years ago for a fresh start," she faltered in her response, her mind still on Shawn's mother. "I didn't want to go back to teaching full time so I thought working in a school office would be the next best thing. I got hired here as the superintendent's secretary." Forgetting his statements about his family, her eyes lit up in a way that said she had information that he may not know. "Shawn, do you know who the superintendent is?"
He regarded her warily as though he was being set up to be ambushed. Why would she assume he didn't? Why did she think he'd be walking into a school district's office to see the superintendent if he didn't know who the man was?
"Yeah, I do." This came out ruder than intended, but he offered no apology. His eyes darkened. "Jon's expectin' me."
"Oh, so you have kept in touch! That's wonderful." There was great affection in her voice and Shawn knew it wasn't for him. "Jon did so much for you."
Once again, her harmless comments were extremely irritating. Those harmless comments kept coming as she explained to her colleagues who Shawn was and his relationship with Jon. But they pricked Shawn as though they were laced with barbs; it annoyed him to no end that she dared to try to explain a relationship she knew nothing about.
"Look, I need to get my sister to her figure skatin' lesson, and I don't have much time," he said as though he was very busy and did not have a moment to spare, which wasn't true. He'd already determined to take no less than six months off traveling for work to stay home with his family and get to know them.
The look in Katherine's eyes told him the tidbits he was dropping about his family were beginning to sound familiar, and a ridiculous, puckish impulse arose within him. The feeling was unwarranted, but he chose to let it dictate his words. Those words were sharp and precise; chosen for maximum impact. "Is my dad in or not?"
Target hit: Katherine Tompkins was visibly shaken by his reference to her boss particularly considering what he had just said about his mother. Some in the room seemed surprised by this as well while others had the look of a light bulb going on. One man did not react at all to this revelation.
Good, he thought with triumph. I hope she thinks Jon chose to sign the papers for me instead of the ones she wanted him to sign back then. His attitude was now fully and unreasonably defiant. He didn't care; he embraced it.
An older man in his late sixties caught Shawn's eye and gave him a nod of recognition as he approached him. Do I know him? Shawn queried silently as he studied the man's graying hair and beard. The years of his experience were etched in his dark features along with a sternness that completely disappeared when he gave Shawn a smile.
"He's Jon's oldest," he informed Katherine and the others in the room. The older man knew all about Jon and Shawn's history. To Shawn he said, "Your dad was my assistant principal back before I retired and handed the reigns over to him. I've heard a lot about you over the years. It's nice to finally meet you, son."
Shawn warmly accepted the man's extended hand with a beaming smile as he recognized who the man was from talking to Jon. "Mr. Appleton," he nodded, returning the recognition. "He speaks very highly of you, sir."
Mr. Appleton smiled in appreciation. "You're quite the vlogger, Shawn; the family and I always look forward to your new posts." As he passed by Shawn, he clapped a hand on his shoulder. "We'll have to get together sometime with your dad and my son. Maybe for a round of golf."
"Sounds good, sir," Shawn grinned, even though he had never golfed, nor did he really care to learn. When he turned back to the flummoxed Ms. Tompkins who was still blocking his path, there was a smirk on his face that he didn't bother to hide this time.
"Jon's your father?" she asked, slowly.
"Yeah, he is," he said in a manner that dared her to challenge him.
"Oh. That's great for you, Shawn."
That's great for you, Shawn? That's all? He harrumphed in his mind. Not great for Jon? Or not great for you? I guess I always mess up your plans for Jon, don't I? Well, I'm back and I'm stayin'.
That last part was very unfair, and he knew it, but defiant arrogance swelled within him. There was absolutely nothing his former teacher had said or done that would indicate she had any plans for Jon beyond professionalism. But there was something deep within Shawn that pushed him to issue her that unspoken warning not to pursue her boss; not only was Jon married, but he had kids who wouldn't tolerate anyone's nonsense in this area and that included him.
Especially him.
The truth was that Shawn still harbored a deep resentment for the woman in front of him over what happened long ago. He clearly remembered every time she walked out on Jon because of him. On the night a police officer brought him to Jon's place, she walked out. When Jon chose to give him a place to live, she dumped Jon in front of him. Her actions spoke louder than words ever could. She wanted Jon, but she did not want him.
Jon told him that it wasn't his fault that the breakup happened; it was going to happen anyway. But Shawn knew better. The one thing kids always know is when an adult doesn't want them around. No matter how well adults think they hide their dislike, kids can always sense it. Twice she walked out on Jon because of him. Even though she came back a few weeks later and resumed her relationship with Jon for a while, Shawn knew he was a bother to her, and she didn't really want to share Jon's attention with a kid that wasn't hers. But her biggest sin, the one that Shawn couldn't forgive, was her betrayal of Audrey that shattered the family and peace he so desperately needed as a child. The burn of guilt of his unfairness towards Katherine flared. He knew he had this to let go and it be a by-gone. But until he was certain that her intent toward Jon and his marriage was benign, he refused to do that.
Shawn brushed by her and entered Jon's office without her approval. When Jon looked up from his paperwork and saw the smug look on his face, he shot Shawn a disgruntled look of disapproval.
"How rude were you to her?" he asked with an arched eyebrow and a frown. His tone indicated that Shawn was not the first person he had gone through this with.
Shawn shrugged with no remorse. "Pretty rude, I guess." He put his hands in pockets and stood in front Jon without any humility. "She wouldn't let me in to see you. She just kept talkin'."
He saw Julia out of the corner of his eye; she was looking at him with an admiring smirk. He winked at her to let her know she had an ally in him should they need to join forces to protect their family. The look was not missed by Jon who gave a frustrated sigh.
"You know, when I said I wanted you two to find a shared interest, this is not what I meant."
"You should have been more specific," Shawn quipped light-heartedly.
Julia clapped a hand over her mouth so her father wouldn't hear her snicker. Shawn grinned at her.
With a roll of his eyes, Jon returned his attention to a pile of paperwork in front of him. "Give me a few minutes to wrap this up and then we'll get outta here."
While Julia helped her father, Shawn took the opportunity to look around Jon's office. For the most part, the room was stark and cold. There was a bare look to the furniture and its arrangement as well the colors. It was though the designer was trying to pull off Scandinavian minimalism but just gave up halfway through the job. He noticed this trend throughout the building. The only personality in the room was around Jon's desk. Instead of books on the bookcase behind his desk, there was a variety of sports memorabilia and pictures on the shelves. There were signed pucks and photos from Rangers of the past- "King Henry" Lundqvist, Mark Messier, and Wayne Gretzky to name a few. The photos, of course, were family photos. There were individual pictures of all the kids, some studio portraits, some from various sports outings. One of the most interesting ones was a group photo from a few Christmases ago. Everyone was in it: all the Matthews, Turners, a couple he recognized as Audrey's aunt and uncle and their kids, and the Feenys.
Hey, it's Dean Bolander! I haven't seen her since college! Oh, wait it's not Dean Bolander. Shawn wrinkled his nose as he looked at the photograph. It's Mrs. Feeny. Everyone he knew and loved was in that photo. The only two missing were himself and Bella.
On Jon's desk were three additional pictures. On the right-hand side of his desk near the computer was a book like a silver picture frame. On one side was a picture of all the kids, including Bella. On the other side was a picture of Jon and Audrey. Shawn couldn't place when the picture had been taken, possibly right before or right after they got married as Audrey was wearing an engagement ring. He made a note of the fact they didn't have wedding pictures, filing the information away to be used later. The picture on the left side of his desk surprised him. It looked like the other frame except that it was for a single picture. The photo was of him and Audrey. Shawn well remembered the day the picture was taken. Jon and Audrey had taken him to Dutch Wonderland, a well-known amusement park in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Cory didn't go with them this time; it was just the three of them.
Shawn picked the picture up and looked at it closely. Jon wasn't in the picture because he took it. He and Audrey were sitting outside of the entrance to Exploration Island. They had their arms wrapped around each other looking like the filler photo that came with picture frames bought at a store. Audrey was laughing and the grin he had took up his entire face. Shawn has never seen himself look so happy. Little did the trio know that the very next day Audrey would be sent back to New York after Mr. Feeny confronted Jon about what had been going on with her.
When Shawn looked up, he saw Jon watching him.
"This was Mother's Day, wasn't it?" he asked.
Jon nodded. "Yeah, it was. That's Audrey's favorite picture of you. Took me forever to convince her to let me get a copy made of it. She was afraid somethin' might happen to the original."
"Best day ever," Shawn smiled morosely. "You ever take the other kids?"
"No, we've never had the time, unfortunately."
The phone rang and Jon rolled his eyes when Katherine announced the caller. It was Yancy, the former principal of Cory's school. The man was still on him about the Harper Burgess incident.
"I have to take this, or he'll bug me all weekend," he told Shawn. To Julia, he said, "You know what to do."
"Give you half an hour, then get sick."
"Right but make it fifteen."
Julia took a seat in one of the chairs near her father's desk and pulled out her phone. She gave Shawn a wary look when he took the seat next to her.
"So," Shawn said in a hushed tone keeping his eyes on Jon. "What's the deal with Ms. Tompkins?"
Julia gave him a guarded look, considering what she should tell him. "I don't know," she replied in the same hushed tones he used. "Yet."
Shawn glanced at her. Yet. She knew something was up and he was appreciative of that.
"Do you like her?"
"Do you?"
"Not really."
"Why?"
"She didn't like me when I was your age."
"Why?"
"I messed up her relationship with your dad," he said.
This got Julia's attention. "What'd you do?"
"I was there."
Julia nodded empathically. "Same."
"She doesn't like you either, huh?"
"She wouldn't dare say anything if she didn't. I do know she doesn't like me bein' here after school."
"What is it about after school?"
"Daddy's here. Usually durin' the day Dad's out, meetin's, observations, press stuff, you know, borin' school stuff. But after school on most days, he's here on phone conferences, interviews, and finishin' up paperwork. So, if he's here and I'm around..."
"You're in the way."
"Yep."
"So do you like her?"
Julia shook her head. "No way."
"Why?"
"She's too friendly with Daddy for one thing," she dropped her voice lower when Jon glanced their way. "She's always tryin' to be right at his side when she doesn't need to be. She tries to go with him to these meetin's and stuff when he doesn't need her there. Like she'd be in the way if she went. And she is always in his office after school talkin' to him. Do you know she legit interrupted me when I was tryin' to tell my dad about this major issue with one of my teachers for somethin' dumb?"
Shawn shook his head in sympathy. Julia scooted closer to him. Knowing that Ms. Tompkins didn't like him made Julia like him a little more. Whether her dislike of the former teacher was warranted or not mattered little to her. There was really no one in her family whom she could voice her concerns to about Ms. Tompkins. Until now.
It worried her even more that Shawn was concerned about the secretary as well. It validated to her feelings.
"You know Daddy sometimes misses dinner. Well, a lot of times it's because meetin's run late and put Dad behind on things he has to do here. Depends on what my schedule is but sometimes I have to go home without him. He usually orders in so he can keep working. Maybe once a month, Mom will bring him somethin' from home, but she usually can't stay, unfortunately. But guess who also always manages to stay." Julia rolled her eyes dramatically.
"Doesn't she have kids to go home to?"
"Yeah, two boys. She keeps tryin' to set me up with one of them. Like, ew, no!"
Shawn frowned. "Give me your honest opinion: what do you think Ms. Tompkins is up to?"
"Honestly? I don't know yet. But I have this really bad feelin' when she's around."
Shawn considered what she said knowing full well that sometimes a kid's perspective is skewed but that they can also be very perceptive. He was Julia's age when he recognized that Jon was in love with Audrey and when he knew that Miss Tompkins didn't like him.
"So do I," he confessed.
"So, what do we do?"
"We wait and we watch."
Julia nodded. Shawn took the opportunity to solidify their tentative bond. "Team?" he held his hand out to her.
"Team," she agreed, taking his hand.
"Look, Jules, I know that Friday nights are your night with your dad, but he's really tired. Let me take you to practice and send him home early."
Julia didn't much like that idea. With Shawn home, she had even less time with her father, but she also knew Shawn was right. He did need to go home.
"Okay," she sighed unhappily. She looked at the time on her phone and jumped up. Going over to her father, she tapped him on the shoulder. Jon looked up at her and nodded.
"Daddy," she whined into the phone's receiver. "I don't feel so good."
"What's wrong?" he asked with what sounded like genuine concern.
"I think I'm gonna throw up!"
"What?!" Shawn could hear Yancy's outrage from where he sat. "She's sick again? One of them always gets sick when I call."
"Yeah," Jon said dismissively, "I've got to go before there's a mess to clean up."
Yancy was still complaining when he hung up the phone.
Shawn stood up and clapped slowly at Julia's performance. "Bravo!"
The door to Jon's office opened much earlier than usual and Katherine Tompkins looked up expectantly. However, her boss only gave her a passing glance. He said goodnight to everyone in the office and wished them a good weekend. Katherine would have liked to have given him a more personal goodbye, but he was flanked on either side by Julia and Shawn who wore matching unfriendly expressions. They looked more like Jon's bodyguards than his children.