AN: I'm taking a short break in the story to bring you a piece a that would have been included in the original story had I completed it back then. It always seemed strange to me that the series never showed Jon and Shawn spend any holidays or birthdays together. I've always felt that needed to be corrected. So here's a Christmas story. Part II will be ready on Christmas Eve and will be the final update for 2021. I hope everyone enjoys this interlude. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a blessed holiday season. See you in the new year!

"There was a long hard time when I kept far from me the remembrance of what I had thrown away when I was quite ignorant of its worth."-Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Winter in Manhattan was a mixed bag at times but cold and snow were most certainly going to be a near constant. That night was no different. After getting the budget report, minus a few small details, completed, Shawn found himself staring out the window of the family room on the main level. It started snowing at some point while he and Jon were working and was now accumulating surprisingly high. He wondered how much snow it would take to cancel school for Julia. It took many inches and very bitter temperatures for Mr. Feeny to cancel school when he was principal. In fact, Shawn found it hard to remember if they ever had snow days in high school.

Humph, he thought, I'll have to ask Cory. Pretty sure we didn't get any.

While snow may not have held any school-canceled days in his memories, it did very much remind him of Christmas. He had heard that for many who grew up in the City, Christmas was a time of wonderment and enchantment. Cory said this was especially true after Riley was born. But Shawn never actually spent a Christmas in New York until this past year. The closest he came before that was during their first year in the City. Although all of his friends planned on getting together and spending their first adult holiday on their own together, he chose, at the last minute, to strike out by himself and meet up with a distant cousin in Pittsburgh. Without Angela, without Jon, without Audrey, Christmas no longer held much meaning for him. Since that time he would spend either the 23rd or the 26th with Cory and Topanga and later Riley, but never Christmas Eve or Christmas day. It was only a short time before he wasn't spending Christmas with anyone. It wasn't long before Christmas was just another day of the year.

Shawn let his mind drifted back to days long gone as he thought about the Christmases he spent with Jon and Audrey. There were several, he thought, lazily letting the memories drift by. He frowned. No, there were several with Jon, not both of them. No, that wasn't right either. Shawn focused his attention more as he continued to stare at the falling snow. He was with Jon at the end of his freshman year, they spent the summer traveling, then Audrey joined them in the fall. She was gone before his sophomore year ended and he and Jon parted ways before the end of that school year, too. So it was just one. Just one Christmas with Jon and with Audrey. How could that be? It seemed liked so many more. Now as he recalled the timeline he was with Jon he realized that those memories of one Christmas and been fractured into several pieces resulting in him believing that they were different memories. For the longest time, he was absolutely certain there were multiple Christmases. Now it seemed that those broken memories had resulted in a sort of Mandela effect.

Well, that's depressing.

Even more depressing was the realization that he had missed the season once again as it was now mid-February and he would have to wait another ten months to experience that special time of year with his family again. Before he could sink any further into dark thoughts, Shawn heard the soft padding of bare feet against the wood floor. He turned slightly to see Julia wrapped up in one of Jon's hoodies approaching him. She look tired and troubled.

"Can't sleep?" he asked in a hushed voice even though they were downstairs and everyone else was upstairs.

She shook her head, messy curls flying everywhere.

"Me, neither."

Julia walked up alongside him and rested her cheek against his shoulder. She stared absently at the falling snow. "I keep dreaming about Miss Tompkins taking Daddy away and Daddy just not coming home one day."

"That's not going to happen," he insisted fervently, wrapping his arm around her. "Not ever."

"I hope not."

Shawn glanced at the clock. It was nearing 11:30. "You should be in bed. It's late and there's school tomorrow. Not to mention every thing else we have to do."

"I know," she sighed heavily. "I just can't sleep."

The brother and sister were silent for a long while watching the snow accumulate into piles in the skinny strip of yard outside the brownstone.

"Shawn?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you tell me a story?"

"A story?" Shawn blinked at the unexpected request. "Yeah, I guess. What about?"

"I don't know," she shrugged turning away from him and wandering over to the couch. Shawn followed her. "Tell me what it was like with Mom and Dad before they got married."

"It's funny you should mention that," he smiled, grabbing a throw from the basket next to the couch. "I was just thinking about that time."

"What part were you thinking about?"

"My one and only Christmas with them."

"Just one?" Julia frowned. The way her parents told it made it sound as though they spent a lot of Christmases together.

"Yeah, I wasn't with Dad a full year, so it was just one."

"What was it like?" she asked, snuggled up against him. The house was colder than she thought it was when she first got up.

"Best Christmas ever," he smiled fondly with a far away look in his eyes. "I never had a real Christmas before. I mean Chet and Virna did the best the could with our circumstances, I guess." Shawn left out the part about how many Christmases went to the wayside because Chet drank away the finances his stepmother had worked so hard for that would result in screaming matches between the two of them. Screaming matches that escalated into shoving. Shoving that resulted in injury and someone leaving. He didn't think it was necessary to bring that up and disturb his sister more. But Julia seemed to have the innate ability to read his face and tell what he was thinking about.

"Dad said Chet drank a lot when you were growing up."

"Yeah, he did. Didn't make Christmas very merry."

"I'm sorry, Shawn." Julia felt for her brother even though she didn't have any real understanding of what he had gone through as a kid. Her father didn't even keep alcohol in the house. If he did any drinking it was out of the house, but he wasn't much of social drinker anymore. Her mother didn't drink at all. All Julia knew about parents who drank excessively was what she had seen on TV and she had no way of knowing what was accurate and what was not.

"Don't be sorry," he told her. "Just be grateful. There's no way Dad could ever end up like Chet."

Wanting to get her brother away from this darker subject matter- she had enough to worry about right now, she asked, "So what was the best Christmas ever like?"

Shawn smiled and pulled the blanket around them both.

o0o0o

"Okay, I've got my list made."

Jon was in a hurry to get ready for school. He'd managed to oversleep thanks to Shawn taking it upon himself to shut off the alarm clock. It made an annoying sound according to the teen and made it hard to keep sleeping even though he was in another room.

"What list?"

"My Christmas list."

"Already?" He gave his tie a frustrated tug only to have it come completely undone on him. "It's only the 1st of December."

"Yeah, I know," Shawn said, tapping a pencil against his chin and studying the paper in his hand. "But I wanna make sure you have enough time to get everything."

Oh, boy, I can't wait to see what this is all about, Jon thought trying to figure out why he suddenly couldn't tie a tie.

Shawn clearly was focused on this list and knowing the boy the way he did, he knew if he didn't deal with this now, there was no chance of Shawn paying any attention in class at all. And he did so little of that under normal circumstances. Jon took a seat at his desk near the kitchen, inhaled deeply then said, "All right, let's see how bad this is."

Nervously, Shawn handed him his meticulously made out wish list. He was anxious because he had included a lot of things on it, but none of it would mean as much if Jon couldn't fulfill the number one wish.

Jon took the list and immediately had to re-read it. He stared at the list and read all 21 items over and over, struggling to comprehend what he was reading. It wasn't that it was illegible or extravagant, it was just...

"Are you sure this all you want?" he asked, tapping the paper with his finger.

Shawn nodded fervently, pursing his lips together tightly as he awaited Jon's verdict on the list.

"Shawn..." the teacher was still baffled by what he read. "I mean, yeah, we can do this stuff, but the first one- Audrey?"

Again the teen nodded so hard his bangs fell into his eyes. "I want her the most. She has to be with us this year."

"Shawn, you know she's suppose to go back to the City and spend Christmas with her dad."

"I know," he shifted from one foot to the other and back again. "But I thought maybe something could be worked out."

"I'll talk to her, Shawn, but I can't promise anything."

"That's okay."

"This other stuff though..."

Suddenly, Shawn felt panicked and insecure about what he had included in his list. It was kind of baby stuff now that he thought about it. He wished he could take the list back and just forget about it. "You think it's stupid don't you?"

Jon looked up in surprise. "No, I don't," he said sincerely. "I get where you're coming from with this list." He paused and read over it again. "We'll definitely need Audrey to do this right. I never had a Christmas like the one you're wanting."

Shawn was dumbfounded by this admission. He figured that of the three of them, Jon had the best Christmases given his background. "How could you not? Eli told me about how you grew up. I figured you had the Richie Rich version of what I want. You know the best Christmas ever every year."

It still amazed Jon that Shawn equated happiness and security with money. "Yeah, they were if your definition of the best Christmas ever is being at some fancy ski resort in Tahoe or Vail or somewhere in Europe surrounded by people you don't know or care about. Or if the best Christmas ever is being left home alone with the house staff when you got older."

"Wow," Shawn flopped down in a nearby chair. "So like your parents weren't around at all?"

Jon shrugged, giving his tie another attempt. "Not really. Not unless they needed to be seen. When I was really little there was always a lot of stuff under the tree but as soon the presents were opened that was it. They'd take off to the slopes to schmooze the business connections, intimidate the competition. When I turned twelve and said that I didn't want to spend Christmas skiing, I wanted to spend it at home, I got my wish. They went to Switzerland and I stayed home with the staff. I dunno, in a way, Christmases were closer to normal with them, I guess."

"But if you ended up alone, did the staff ditch you?"

"Nah, they were good people. It's just that when I turned fifteen, I realized that these people had families to go home to and because of me they hadn't been home on Christmas in years. So my gift them to them was to let them go home. I spent Christmas alone from then on until I decided to leave for good. And believe me, stayin' home alone on Christmas is nothin' like the movies." Finally, he managed to his tie knotted correctly. He stood and went into the kitchen to grab some coffee before leaving.

"Your parents did ditch you, though?" Shawn was fascinated by Jon's former life and how it was nothing like he'd imagined it to be.

"Yeah, they weren't very good at the emotional stuff. They thought they could throw money at a situation and make it go away. I guess they just did what they knew. It's how they were raised."

Shawn considered this seriously. He'd always just assumed that because of his family's wealth, Jon must have had those picture perfect holidays, that life had to be perfect. That it was not created a great deal of cognitive dissonance for him and he frowned. It struck him that although they had grown up in very different environments, they were, at least in this way, very similar. The chord this thought played in his mind sent shivers down his spine as it challenged what he thought he knew about wealth and poverty and the people living in the two extremes.

"Didn't you have friends to spend Christmas with?" Even if his home was a mess at least he had always had the Matthews' place to take refuge in.

"Not really," his teacher grimaced as he stirred creamer into the liquid in his mug. "All my friends were perfectly happy to go off to the ski lodge with their parents and show off all the stuff they got. I was the only who refused. Every year I dug my heels in deeper about not participating. Especially when Mel tried to get me to go with her and her parents. Eventually, they quit asking."

"Wow. That really stinks."

Jon shrugged it off clearly becoming uncomfortable with the conversation. "It is what it is. Let's make this Christmas one to remember. Are you sure everything you want is on this list? There's nothing on here that would go under the tree."

"It's not eeeeeverything," Shawn gave him a goofy smile.

The smile made Jon very suspicious. "What's not on here?"

"Well," he said, leaning against the kitchen table. He picked up a napkin and began to casually fold it. "I left it off so I'd have something to ask for on my birthday."

"What is it?"

Shawn unfolded the napkin and started to twist it. "It's sort of expensive."

"What is it?"

"But it's a lifelong investment for both of us." He coiled the napkin into a ball and tucked the ends inside of the coil.

"What. Is. It?"

Shawn put the napkin ball in front of Jon. The smile became a knowing smirk. "An engagement ring."

Jon stared at him with his mouth slightly open. He must have misheard the teen. "Say again."

"Well," Shawn said, ignoring the question. He folded his hands seriously in front of him." It's a lifelong investment for the three of us guaranteed to pay huge dividends in the future."

The stock market jargon only served to further confuse Jon who absolutely flabbergasted by Shawn's request. "An engagement ring?"

"Yes," the teen was hoping his teacher was finally catching on. The man could be awfully slow at times. "Then we can elope. I hear Vegas is good for that sort of thing."

Jon was too stunned to say much. He threw his hands up in surrender. "Anything else you'd like?"

Shawn thought for a moment, then said earnestly, "A brother or sister would be nice but no rush on that. Let's get married first."

He still couldn't believe this conversation was actually happening. Surely, he was still asleep and in the middle of a bad dream. "Are you kiddin' me?"

"No, I'm serious." And he was. It was the most serious Jon had ever seen him.

"Shawn," Jon said, trying to regain his bearings and some sort of control over his morning. "We've been over this. It's not gonna happen."

Shawn rolled his eyes, exasperated. "You digging your heels in on this too?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well, unlike your dumb rich friends I won't quit asking."

His teacher gave a heavy sigh. "You wouldn't be you if you did. Look, let's just focus on Christmas, okay? Get your stuff." He motioned to Shawn's bookbag.

Shawn grabbed the bag and slung it over his shoulder. "What about in June?"

"What about in June what?" he asked, picking up his own school bag. "Christmas? It's Christmas in July, not June."

The teen rolled his eyes again. "What about getting married in June?"

"Shawn!"

"She won't be your student teacher anymore," he reasoned. "Feeny can't do anything to you then!"

"Just stop, Hunter. C'mon, make sure you have all your stuff together and get to school. Where's Matthews? Aren't you walkin' with him today?"

Shawn blocked his teacher's path to the door. "Nah, his dad is dropping him off. I'm going with you."

"No, you're not," Jon told him, moving him out of the way and opening the door. "I'm takin' the bike. You're walkin'."

"No," the boy shook his head as they stepped into the hall. "See I don't feel like walking."

"If I don't take the bike, people are gonna think I'm not at school. Feeny'll mark me absent. I'm takin' the bike. You're walkin'"

"Truck it is!" Shawn exclaimed. He ran as fast as he could to the spot where Jon's truck and bike were in the garage. He was at the door of the truck long before Jon could catch him. It was just too bad he didn't have the keys.

Jon groaned as he chased after him. This was one of those times he badly needed Audrey; he had no idea how stop Shawn when he got into a mood like this.

When he finally made to where the boy was standing, he shop him an unhappy look and snapped. "Fine. Truck. Get in. Be quiet."

Triumphantly, Shawn tossed his book bag into the now unlocked truck, got in, and buckled up. He then proceeded to hassle his teacher all the way to school about what he wanted for his birthday.

After the bell rang dismissing sixth period, Jon finally had an opportunity to talk to Audrey about Shawn's Christmas wish list. He walked up behind where she was at his desk organizing that period's homework collection. He was just about to put his hand on her shoulder when he caught glimpse of the open classroom door. Quickly shoving his hand in his pocket, he backed away from her and walked around to the other side of the desk.

"Shawn gave me his Christmas list today." He held the paper up to her so she could see it.

"Really?" She seemed amused. "He's a running a little late isn't he? Don't most kids have their lists filled out right after Thanksgiving?"

"I wouldn't know," he laughed. "Here. Check out what's first on the list."

Audrey looked at him quizzically as she took the paper from him. She looked at the first item on the list. She gave him a wide-eyed confused look. "Me?"

Jon nodded. "He wants you to spend Christmas with us."

Audrey's smiled faded and she pressed her lips together into a tight line. "I wish I could. But I've already arranged to be with my dad for Christmas and here for New Year's."

"He knows. He was just hoping something could be worked out."

Audrey studied the list. This wasn't just any list. It was very carefully written. Never had Audrey seen such tidy and readable handwriting from Shawn. Every word was lined up carefully with the word above it; everything was neatly and evenly spaced. Audrey wondered how many times Shawn had rewritten it to get everything so perfect. It was obvious that this was very important to him. If the care taken in writing caught her heart, the content of the list itself caught her breathe. She found it incredibly sweet but also incredibly sad.

My Christmas List by Shawn Hunter

If I can only have one thing, I would like the first one on this Christmas list.

1. Audrey

2. Decorate a Christmas tree

3. Make Christmas ornaments

4. Go to the Christmas Village

5. Send out Christmas cards

6. Go sledding

7. See the neighborhood Christmas lights

8. Go on a sleigh ride

9. Bake gingerbread cookies

10. Drink hot chocolate

11. Roast chestnuts. (Ask what chestnuts are)

12. Roast marshmallows in a fireplace.

13. See the Christmas Light Show

14. Go Christmas caroling

15. Make a gingerbread house

16. Go ice skating

17. Help at the Apple Tree Family Central Center shelter Toy Drive

18. Go to a candle light church service

19. Watch Home Alone and other Christmas movies

20. Hang stockings

21. Wake up with family on Christmas Day

"Oh, Jon," she breathed, tears gathering in her eyes. "This list... especially number 17!"

"I know. If that isn't the mark of a good kid nothing is."

Audrey bit her lip as she reread the list again, twirling a lock of hair in between her thumb and forefinger. "You know," she said slowly, trying to think. "My dad really isn't aware of the seasons anymore. He barely remembered what Christmas was last year, I doubt he'll remember anything this year." She let go of her hair and tapped her finger against her chin. "I'll have to check with the hospice to see what their holiday visitation schedule is after Christmas."

Jon looked up at her, hopefully. "So you'll stay?"

She nodded slowly. There was a sad look in her eyes that he didn't understand. "But Jon, this means that if I go after Christmas I probably won't be back in time for New Year's Eve."

"Oh." He tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. He'd had New Year's Eve planned since before Thanksgiving. Eli invited him to a New Year's Eve party given by an acquaintance from his days in the news media. As it turned out, that acquaintance had a girlfriend who once danced with Audrey at the American Ballet Theater. The girlfriend reached out to Audrey and invited her. Jon saw this as the perfect opportunity for them to go out without actually going out. If anyone from school found out, they had an alibi: Eli invited him and the hosts invited Audrey. He had nothing to do with her being there. Technically. Audrey nearly declined the invitation until Jon convinced her she should go. And if she felt uncomfortable at all she could just stay with him the entire time. She told him that she was already uncomfortable and would need to stay with him which was exactly what he was hoping for. The plan was perfect and they were unlikely to ever have this kind of opportunity again. But now it looked like they wouldn't have the opportunity at all. Jon folded his arms across his chest and forced his expression to be neutral. When he met her eyes, there was a storm of disappointment in them. She also held the list, turned towards him as if to say "how can we not do this?".

"I'd rather have you with us for a whole week than just one night anyway," he said as though the broken date was no big deal. He took the list from her. "Can you come over tonight so we can plan this? This may take most of the month to do."

Audrey grinned, but her attention was caught by something at the door. Jon followed her gaze and his heart started to race when he saw Mr. Feeny standing in the door watching them. The principal gave them a tight smile and small wave before moving on. Jon let out a sigh of relief and prayed the principal hadn't heard anything they were discussing.

When Shawn got back to the apartment after hanging out with Cory after school it was nearly 5:30pm. He knew the moment he stepped into his floor's hallway that Audrey was already there. He could smell the delicious aroma of pot roast wafting out from under door number 8.

The sudden slamming open of the door caused Jon looked up from chopping vegetables.

"Go wash your hands," he told Shawn, who threw his bookbag at the nearest chair, missing it completely. "Then get in here and make yourself useful."

Shawn grinned and without protest did what he was asked to do. When he returned to the kitchen, he walked up behind Audrey, leaned over, and put his chin on her shoulder. "Whaddya want me to do?"

"Mash the potatoes for me, please," she said, motioning to the freshly washed potatoes. "Do you remember how I showed you to do it?"

"I think so."

"Boil them first," she reminded him. "It's much easier that way."

Jon and Audrey watched him slowly and carefully peel and then dice the potatoes with his tongue stuck out to the side the whole time he working. They struggled not to laugh as they didn't want to discourage his endeavors. However, he was going at a painfully slow pace and after awhile Jon couldn't take it anymore.

"Shawn, we'd like to eat some time tonight. Feel free to pick up the pace. They don't have to be cut perfectly."

Shawn looked up very serious, blew his bangs out of his face, and looked to Audrey for confirmation. When it came to cooking he didn't trust Jon fully.

"They're going to be mashed up anyway," she said, taking the rolls out of the oven.

The boy nodded and proceeded to suddenly and quickly diced the rest of the potatoes. So quickly Jon that grew worried that there would be more than potatoes in the dish, but he refrained from saying anything as Audrey had her eye on Shawn.

"Is Mr. Williams coming over tonight?" Shawn asked as they sat down to dinner twenty minutes later. As much as he liked his media arts teacher, he didn't like him coming over to the apartment when Audrey was there because her stay was always cut short when he showed up. Shawn had never asked Jon how much Eli knew about Audrey, but he suspected he must know that she was often over as he had never heard the teacher say about her being there and he never had a problem giving Jon a hard time about women. However, there was a distinct change in Jon when Audrey and Eli were both there. He went from being comfortable and relaxed to almost on edge. It was weird and Shawn couldn't quite figure out what the difference was so he just preferred to see Mr. Williams at school.

"Nope," Jon said. "I set him up with this waitress from Hannigan's so he's gonna be busy for quite some time if it all works out."

Shawn's fork suddenly clattered against the table. Audrey and Jon found him looking absolutely horrified at them.

"Shawn? What's wrong?" Audrey asked with concern.

With food in his mouth he said to Jon, "You set him up with a waitress," he looked at Audrey in despair. "From Hannigan's?"

"Yeah so?" Jon put his fork down when he realized what Shawn was thinking. Exasperated, he said, "Not Audrey! You know she isn't the only one who works there."

"She's the only one I know who works there," he grumbled.

Audrey couldn't help but laugh. "I promise you, Shawn, it isn't me. She's a friend of mine- Taylor. We work the same shift."

"Oh, okay." The boy seemed placated and dinner went on without any further interruptions.

After dinner, the three of them moved to the couch to catch up on the news. The news wasn't necessarily something Shawn cared about, but he wasn't about to miss a chance to be around Audrey while she was there. He considered going to his room so she and Jon could be alone. He decided against it as she often left if he did. So to make sure she stayed as long as possible, he grabbed a pillow, tossed it on her lap, and laid down.

"So," Jon said as a commercial break began, "What do you think, Audrey? Should we give Shawn an early Christmas gift."

Shawn immediately sat up and looked at them expectantly. "Yes," he said. "Yes, you should give Shawn an early Christmas gift."

Audrey ignored him and focused on Jon. "I don't know," she said doubtfully. "It's only December 1st."

"Yeah," he said, knowing full well that dragging out the conversation was driving Shawn crazy. "That's true. I guess we'll wait then."

"What?" Shawn cried, jumping to kneel on the couch. "That's not fair! You brought it up-gimme!"

Audrey started to laugh as Jon said. "Well, that's true, too."

"Okay," she sighed in mock resignation, still laughing. "It's your gift to him anyway."

Shawn could barely contain himself as he kneeled on the couch and bounced up and down. "Where is it?"

"Right here." Jon was held his hands, presenting Audrey to Shawn. "I got you number one on your list."

It took a moment for his words to sink in and when they did happiness filled him up and bubbled over. He threw himself across them both in an awkward and uncomfortable hug, giddily babbling his gratitude over and over.

"I won't be here for New Year's then," Audrey clarified wanting to make sure he understood so that he wasn't disappointed later on.

"Okay that's okay," Shawn chirped gleefully. "I'll be with Cory and Topanga anyway."

As he said this he caught a glimpse of the strange look that crossed Jon's face. He looked away from them to something on the floor. Shawn couldn't see that there was anything worth looking at there, but he was too happy to worry about it.

"So this means we're doing everything on the list then right?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "But we are not telling you when we're doing your list. That's the surprise we're still working on."

"I can't wait," he said, grinning so big his cheeks were beginning to hurt as he settled back against her. His thoughts were brimming with over with everything he was going to get to do with them in the days ahead.

After the news was over, Shawn, without complaining, started on his homework, whistling happily to himself as Jon and Audrey graded papers. The time went too quickly and soon it was time for him to go to bed and for Audrey to leave. He was just about to go to his room when he realized that Jon had been uncharacteristically quiet for quite some time. His teacher's demeanor had shifted after the mention of New Year's Eve. As Shawn thought about the holiday, it abruptly became clear to him why his teacher seemed saddened. This New Year's Eve was a big deal to both of them. For Shawn, it was the first one that he, Cory, Topanga, and Eric would be able to go out on their own for New Year's Eve. For Jon it was the one and only time he'd get to be with Audrey at a party they were both attending. It was as a close to a date as he'd get with her. Shawn stood in the shadows of the hall and watched his teacher put away the dishes. He felt a strange rock settle in his chest and a lump in his throat. The adults in his life didn't give things up for him. They didn't put him ahead of their wants and desires. Not even his parents. Booze, spending money, and scheming to get money all went ahead of him. Yet here was his teacher, who was not obligated to do anything other than teach him in class, but who was doing what his parent wouldn't do. Shawn knew how Jon felt about Audrey and the significance of Audrey spending Christmas with them was not lost on him.

Shawn wasn't a very affectionate kid. Kids learn more from what's modeled to them by the people around them than they do by what comes out of the same people's mouths. It was very hard to be affectionate when your own parents weren't very loving with you. Letting your walls down enough to really hug someone or to be hug was difficult. Jon knew that from his own experience. So when he found himself suddenly being hugged by a kid who didn't hug people, he knew he'd somehow managed to break through to him. And in order to encourage Shawn's new found vulnerability he had to let his own walls down enough to genuinely return the hug.

"Thank you." Shawn said intensely, looking up at him with watery eyes.

"You're welcome, Shawn," Jon said, surprised to find himself getting choked up. "We're both happy to do this for you."

But the boy shook his head. "That's not what I meant. Thank you for giving up your New Year's so I can have my Christmas."

Jon didn't know what to say. The emotional stuff came about as easy to him as it did to Shawn. But he was extremely touched that Shawn had made the connection. Ruffling the boy's hair he said, "Yeah, well, we're both going to have the best Christmas ever for the first time. That's a pretty good trade off, don't you think?"

Shawn responded by hugging him even tighter and making him gasp in pain and for air. "Shawn! Let go before you break a rib!"

The teen looked up through the tears and grinned. "Whatever you say, Dad."

Jon smiled at the title. It was strange, but also really nice to be called that he realized with amazement.

"Good. Then go bed."

As he watched Shawn leave to go to his room, Jon tried to give a name to the feeling that had overtaken him, but it was too unfamiliar to do so. He shrugged and made his way to his own room. Maybe it was the feeling that came with Christmas and he was just feeling it for the first time.