Autumn In Philadelphia Trilogy Chapter 65: Saudade: The Truth about Audrey, a boy meets world fanfic

Apologies for the delay with this chapter. This was by far the hardest and most personal chapter I've ever written.

At the end of the last chapter, Audrey says this is her story to tell. When I started writing AiP I was in the middle of my own battle with diabulimia. I've been in recovery for 17 years, but I was surprised to discover I needed to distance myself from revisiting those feelings that came when writing from Audrey's POV.

So that's why Jon is telling most of Audrey's story. Also, by doing that, it gives present day Audrey a good chance to bring up a little something Jon would rather his kids not know right now. lol

I want to take a moment to thank my own found family for their support through writing this chapter and always. You are an amazing group of people and I appreciate you all so much.

JustAnotherPersonWhoWrites and Mirandabelle, a special thank you to you two. From helping me sort out scenes that just weren't coming out at all to listening to my own story and helping me sort through my feelings, you two have been incredible. I can't really find adequate words to express how much you both mean to me.

TW: Eating disorders, infertility, pregnancy, mentions of vomiting, very brief mention of suicidal thoughts.

Things started small.

Jon had noticed for quite some time that while Audrey did nearly all of the cooking, she rarely ate much of it.

There was always an excuse.

"I sampled so much while I was preparing it, I can't eat much else."

"I ate a big breakfast/lunch/dinner."

Then there were the times she would eat the way he and Shawn did: hot dogs, popcorn, pizza, all standard junk food.

Then she'd go back to cooking and excuses.

It wasn't that she didn't eat.

He saw her eat.

But she was thin, and he swore he could see her getting thinner. He couldn't figure out how someone could eat, sometimes a lot, and still lose so much weight.

She didn't seem to be an excessive exerciser either. She still danced but between work, school, and them, she didn't have time to do much of it.

But she was losing weight.

And she didn't have any to lose to begin with.

Something was very wrong, but he had no proof of what it was.

In the months that passed since September, Audrey had become his best friend, superseding Eli. He could talk to her about anything.

Except this.

Every time he tried to bring his concerns up, she reacted like she did when he confronted her earlier in the year about why she knew so much about eating disorders. Although she had yet to storm out on him and tell him she never wanted to see him again, he pushed her pretty close to that point.

He always apologized and held his tongue until the next time.

At the bookstore one weekend, he came across a newly released book, Little Dancers in Pretty Boxes. The picture on the cover caught his attention: the ballerina looked like Audrey. He bought it for that reason.

It was an eye-opening read. Apparently various eating disorders were prevalent in not only ballet but figure skating and gymnastics as well. This sparked a research frenzy into the world of ballet and eating disorders.

His newfound knowledge was a dangerous thing as he was unable to keep his mouth shut when he saw Audrey doing something that reminded him of what he'd read.

Every time he said something, it sparked an argument.

For a long time, they were able to keep these disputes hidden from Shawn, but eventually Jon opened his mouth at the wrong time and set her off in front of the teen.

"What is your problem?!" Shawn growled furiously. He jumped in front of his teacher as Audrey slammed the apartment door on her way out.

Jon held his hands out to the side and let them fall against his thighs.

He didn't know what to say.

That wasn't good enough for Shawn. "Are you tryin' to sabotage our family?"

Jon stared at him. "No!"

"Well, why did you pick a fight with her then?" The teen got within an inch of his nose. Hurt and fear mixed with the anger in his eyes. "Is this what you do before you breakup with a girl? Pick a fight and then take them to that stupid Italian restaurant?"

Shawn's mouth fell open in shock as he heard his own words. "Is that what you're gettin' ready to do? Take us to La Familia and dump us?!"

"Of course not!" he snapped defensively. Shawn's assessment of his dating and break up habits was eerily accurate but that was absolutely not the case here.

"Then what are you doin'?!"

"I-," Jon dropped to the couch and put his head in his hands. "Somethin's wrong with her, Shawn. I'm tryin' to find out what it is."

"By buggin' her about what she eats?" The teen knelt on the couch next to his teacher. Seeing how lost Jon looked made him reassess the situation.

"She isn't eatin' that's the problem."

"She says she is. She says she's fine."

Jon sighed and shook his head.

"How do you know?"

"I don't," he admitted. "I just have… a feelin'."

Shawn bit his bottom lip. He could see his teacher's concern was sincere, but he was terrified that by pursuing this, Jon was going to run Audrey off. "Don't ruin this for us," he begged, grabbing ahold of Jon's sweater. "Please. If Audrey says she's fine, then she's fine. Please, don't ruin this. Please, Jon. I need her."

He knew that.

And he needed her too.

So, he let it go.

Then he remembered the note for the doctor he saw at her place the first time he went over. It disappeared once he and Shawn started spending time at her house starting in December. One time, while Audrey was working with Shawn in the kitchen, he did a little searching and found a number for Dr. Amsden in her dresser drawer.

He hated snooping, but he knew she wouldn't offer that number if asked.

She's too important to ignore what's goin' on, he told himself to assuage his guilt.

The number turned out to be useless. He was refused information because he was not her husband nor was he an emergency contact.

So he tried to find out information on his own.

His knowledge of the internet was less developed than the internet itself. Shawn was better versed in searching the World Wide Web but once the teen found out what he was trying to do, he refused to help.

Without a New York City phone book, Jon couldn't find any information. The college kids at the library were no help; they just pointed him to the internet.

So Jon stayed silent and when the urge to say something got too much, he went for a walk until it passed.

He started walking a lot in February.

February brought Shawn's birthday which brought him a fresh look at Audrey. A look he'd tried very hard to avoid. She was beautiful, he couldn't avoid acknowledging that, but he could choose not to think about her without also thinking about Shawn.

It was crucial that he didn't.

Shawn had to be the center of everything they did for multiple reasons. As time went on the primary reason became because everything had to stay platonic until after May.

But that was impossible.

Shawn quite literally set him up to fail and he willingly went along with it.

He also set himself up to fail.

Shawn used his party, held on Valentine's Day, to get them together and he used Shawn's party for the same reason.

Their plans overlapped and he ended up on the rooftop of the apartment kissing his student teacher.

It was a one-time thing.

Just like Christmas.

It couldn't happen again until after May.

Then came March and with it came Katherine.

In the beginning, there were no issues except that she wanted to get back together, and he did not.

So she shifted her story and claimed she wanted to be friends only; something they really weren't before. She started showing up to the apartment at inopportune times forcing him and Shawn to hide Audrey. When she started waiting for him in the foyer of the apartment, Audrey stopped coming over all together and they went to her place instead.

Then came the calls and the insistence that she know where he was at all times.

He told her it was over. That coming over to his place was over.

When she refused to respect those boundaries, he lost his temper, much to Shawn's delight.

Then the key incident happened.

That was the last straw for Jon.

He wanted nothing else to do with her and told her so.

They had peace for a while.

The more time that passed the more Jon fell in love with his little family. His thinking had shifted so dramatically that he no longer questioned his place in Shawn's life or Audrey's.

While he had already promised to make their situation permanent after May, he couldn't yet bring himself to utter the words "marriage" and "adoption".

"I love you, Audrey" had been on the tip of his tongue since Christmas, but their situation had not changed so there it had to remain.

These words along with marriage and adoption had to wait until May passed.

And they did until his former fiancée came to town.

Initially, it was a one-time dinner date to catch up on old times. He was certain they wouldn't make it even that far as he was convinced Melanie had not changed. She proved him wrong from the moment she stepped inside the apartment.

He left that dinner feeling conflicted as Melanie wasn't the person he remembered. She had changed quite a bit and he was stunned to find he really liked her. A trip down memory lane recounting the history they shared confused these feelings even more.

When he came back to Audrey and Shawn, he found he couldn't talk to either of them about what happened. He sent Shawn to bed and asked Audrey to stay with him. He couldn't express his thoughts or feelings, so he simply held onto her until she had to leave.

That should have been the end of Melanie, but it wasn't. She came back and moved herself into the apartment.

Shawn resented this and so did he. But he knew there was a part of Melanie that had not changed; she still had a foot in the world he despised. Trading in her fur coats was one thing, trading in a comfortable life in a comfortable neighborhood was still beyond her. He knew she wouldn't mesh with the lifestyle he and Shawn led.

So he let her stay and asked Audrey to stay away because he didn't trust Melanie enough to tell her about his student teacher.

Shawn, predictably, rebelled over the situation. Eventually, he was pushed to the breaking point when Melanie insisted on "babysitting" him. He repaid this offense by making her think he took off into the night when he was really on the roof watching her frantically search for him.

Melanie had no choice but to come to him and admit her failure. When he and Audrey returned to the apartment in search of the teen, Shawn was sitting on the couch watching TV.

The event forced Melanie to finally admit why she came back to see Jon. Naturally, being friends had little to do with it. She left quietly after he introduced his girlfriend and bluntly told Melanie that he loved Audrey.

Shawn was over the moon at this announcement and nearly injured the three of them in his excitement. Audrey, in her quiet, understated way, let him know she was equally thrilled.

He was relieved the feeling was mutual, but he wasn't happy.

That was not how he wanted to tell her.

I love you.

Words he had never said to anyone, and she knew it. She deserved to hear those words from him for the first time with all his attention focused on her.

He could never get that moment back.

Audrey said it didn't matter.

But it mattered to him and to Shawn who, after his initial excitement, was not happy with the way he chose to tell them.

But it was out.

I love yous had been exchanged all around.

The ring was in Jon's dresser drawer.

The guardianship paperwork in his desk drawer.

All he needed to do now was ask the question and sign the dotted line.

And try to ignore the nagging feeling that something was seriously wrong with Audrey.

The weather was growing warmer, and Audrey's clothes were growing bigger. Oversized long sleeved shirts and baggy jeans became her uniform outside of school. Her school uniform of black slacks and a white long sleeve shirt, once fitted, became oversized as well.

Once he came home from a grocery run and found Audrey sitting on the couch wearing his leather jacket during an unusual spring heat wave. It took a ridiculously long time to coax her out of it. Then, while he was hanging the jacket up, she found one of his hoodies to replace it with.

Her explanation for this was that she was always cold, which was true when the air conditioner was on, but the AC unit had been broken for almost a week.

This incident made it harder not to say something because the more he read, the more signs he saw of an eating disorder- the change in habits, in clothing, the excuses.

To distract himself, Jon decided to talk to her about something else that had been concerning him- how he told her that he loved her.

She maintained that it didn't bother her.

There was something about saying "I love you" that made him so insecure and vulnerable that he started babbling about anything and everything that came to mind.

"I worry about you so much," he mumbled into her shoulder. He was sitting on the back of the couch. She stood in front of him with her arms wrapped around his neck and her fingers in his hair. "I can't bear the thought of somethin' happenin' to you. I love Richie, Aud, but this is one part of his life I do not want to repeat."

She knew he was talking about what happened to her father after the death her mother. She entwined her fingers in the curls around his shirt collar as she laid light kisses along his jawline. "You won't."

He hugged her, acutely aware of the lack of space she occupied in his arms. He worriedly searched her eyes for some kind of hope that his concern was unfounded. He found no such reassurance. "How can you say that so confidently? Richie never thought he'd lose Lizzie."

She continued her kisses rather than responding.

This made Jon incredibly anxious.

"That's different," she finally said. She kissed his lips then pressed her forehead against his. "My mum was having problems for a long time; she just couldn't get a diagnosis."

He searched her eyes again, this time for some sign she was open to listening to him. Those gray eyes were so soft and inviting that before long he was lost in them.

"I love you," he said rather than confront her.

He held her by the hips. While his tone was light and sarcastic, his eyes were dark and serious. "I swore I'd never say 'I love you' but you got me to say it. So now you're stuck with me. I absolutely refuse to go through this again. You can't do anythin' to make me lose you like Richie lost Lizzie."

That was as close as he could get to begging her to tell him what she was keeping from him.

Her smile turned dreamy, and she melted against him, humming to herself. Through half-closed eyes she let her guard down so completely that her native Manhattan accent saturated every word. "I won't, Jonny, I promise. But ya gotta promise me the same."

"I promise, babe."

All semblance of a platonic relationship within the apartment and her home was gone now which made it imperative that Shawn stay close to them, so they weren't ever completely alone.

She was still his student teacher and there were some things that could not change yet.

However, some things did change with her.

And he really liked the changes he saw.

One night, after Shawn skipped out on post dinner cleanup to talk to Cory on the phone, Audrey was in a particularly playful mood and seemed happier than he'd ever seen her. She danced around the kitchen with some sort of ballet moves, laughing and flirtatiously teasing him.

With no experience in dating or romance, she had always been a terrible flirt. And he absolutely adored her awkwardness. Still, he played annoyed, but her laugh was infectious, and he couldn't help but join in her banter. At one point, he grabbed the sink sprayer and soaked her.

"Augh, Jon!" she shrieked in laughter trying to get the hose away from him.

He grabbed her and held the sprayer out of her reach which wasn't hard to do as small as she was. It was while he was playing keep away with one arm around her that he realized not only did she look different, but she felt different too.

Back before Shawn's birthday when he saw her in night clothes for the first time, he could only describe the way she looked as being drawn by an animator.

Slim curves.

Those slim curves were a little more pronounced now and she had a healthy glow about her.

He shouldn't have done what he did but he couldn't help it.

He let go of the sink hose and wrapped both arms around her. Nuzzling her neck, he took a moment to inhale her scent, a peculiar mix of the seasonal chocolate peppermint tea she loved and citrusy shampoo.

In her ear, he promised, "Startin' next Christmas I'll buy you enough of that tea to last the whole year."

When she looked up at him, he kissed her.

Running his hands down her waist to her hips, his brain shut off and emotion took over. Without thinking, he pressed his mouth against her ear and said, "You look so good with some extra weight on those curves."

It was the worst thing he could have said.

Any words other than extra and weight.

Any.

Instantly she recoiled.

He might as well have said she was the most hideous woman he'd ever seen.

She didn't storm out of the apartment. She just stumbled away from him and sank onto the couch, struggling not to cry.

He went to her immediately to explain himself and what he really meant, stressing that he always loved the way she looked.

Always.

He reiterated that he was just so worried about her being so thin that he was thrilled with the way she looked now, healthy and more beautiful than before. In a very unwise move, he detailed everything about her, physical and otherwise, that he loved.

But his words didn't penetrate the wall she'd put up.

It was like he didn't say anything at all.

Three days later, Jon sent Shawn home with Cory after school to work on a school project.

He specifically wanted to be alone with Audrey before dinner. But not for the reason he would have preferred. He wanted to be in the kitchen, just the two of them without Shawn around, to watch her cooking habits and see if she really sampled as much as she claimed.

He'd tried to do this before, but with Shawn there were too many distractions to watch closely enough. Shawn saw his questions as harassment and would spend ninety percent of his time "protecting" Audrey from him.

Jon leaned against the kitchen counter near the sink. Thunder rumbled in the distance and the sky grew dark, drawing his worry close around him.

Audrey chose to make an elaborate made-from-scratch chicken potpie and brownies. Cory and Shawn would be joining them for dinner and, she said, she wanted to make their favorite dessert while making sure they got the vegetables Shawn usually turned his nose up at.

He offered to cut the vegetables (Audrey never used frozen), but she handed him the chicken to debone instead.

He couldn't help but notice she took the lowest calorie food to handle, and he almost said it too. But he caught himself with a reminder he was there to observe, not criticize.

While he was cleaning and trimming the chicken a loud boom of thunder was followed by a crack of lightning so bright it filled the kitchen.

Jon was so startled he dropped the knife he was holding in the sink. A pain hit his chest. It took him a moment to regain his sight from the flash and realize that it was Audrey's sharp nails gripping him.

The lights and television flickered, went off, then came back on a few moments later.

"You okay?" he asked in a shaky breath. He dislodged her nails from his chest and turned around.

"I think so." Her eyes were wide and anxious.

"Sounded like it hit the buildin' next to us."

After they regrouped, they returned to their tasks and Jon resumed watching her. Through vegetable chopping and crust and filling making Jon never once saw her sample anything.

While the pot pie was cooking, they started on the brownies. The Rangers game that had just started was suddenly interrupted by the local news station emergency weather report.

"…strong to severe thunderstorms are sweeping through the area this evening as a potent cold front passes through the Philadelphia region. Several tornado warnings have been issued for parts of New Jersey, Delaware, and Pennsylvania while the greater Philadelphia area remains under a severe thunderstorm warning…"

Concerned, Jon put the hand mixer down and joined Audrey in the living room.

Tornados were not a common occurrence in Philadelphia at any time of year. Briefly Jon wondered if the apartment building had a storm shelter and where it was if it did. It wasn't something he'd ever thought about before.

While the meteorologist was detailing the seriousness of the incoming weather, Jon put one hand on his waist and the other on Audrey's shoulder. "I hope Alan hasn't left to bring the boys over yet," he remarked.

"Maybe you should call him."

He walked over to the desk where the phone sat. Just as he put his hand on the receiver it rang.

It was Alan.

"The boys are stayin' with the Matthews for dinner," he told her after the short call.

"Good," she said leaning into him. "I don't want them out in this."

He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. She rubbed her nose against his chest with a small sigh then resumed her baking.

It was fortuitous that the boys would be delayed.

Audrey was in a good mood although she seemed jumpy to him. Her typically collected, laidback demeanor was on edge. Thunder in particular made her jump.

Normally she loved storms.

She passed behind him, bumping him gently. "Jonny, would you set the table for me?"

Jon moved to oblige but as he reached into the cutlery drawer, he glanced at the table then the living room and had an idea.

"Hey," he said to her in a low, deep voice.

She looked up at him with a curious expression.

He moved closer to her, caught her by the waist, and spun her around. "Let's eat in the livin' room," he suggested kissing the tip of her nose.

This display of affection seemed to fluster her more.

"Why do you want to eat in there?"

A sly smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "No kids. No Feeny."

Audrey stared at him.

The smirk grew. He slipped a hand behind her head and kissed her again, tender and lingering.

That was a mistake.

It was his concern that was the reason he wanted the change in seating. The closer she was the less likely he felt he would be to miss anything unusual with her eating habits. But being alone with her was testing the strength of his willpower. Between that and his concern for her he felt like a bomb on countdown, moments away from zero.

In the back of his mind, he was positive that he was going about this all wrong. In all the books he'd read there really was no conclusive information about how family members should stage an intervention, just that they should. Without any guide, he had no choice but to blindly stumble through.

Jon took the plates of steaming hot potpies and set them on the coffee table. Audrey joined him with a tray of iced tea and salads which Jon assumed was the only thing she would eat. When she tried to take her normal position in the middle of the couch, he put his hands on her hips and moved her to his usual place in the corner. Sitting as close to her as he could, he encouraged her to put her legs over his lap.

A small frown crossed her face. "Isn't that going to make eating difficult?"

"I'll manage," he winked at her with a look that made her blush. The crimson that flooded her cheeks made him feel a little guilty about his motivation for behaving like he was.

He handed her the tray with her dinner on it and tried as hard as he could to leave her alone while they ate. Thunder continued to shake the building. Periodically the lights and television flickered on and off.

When he saw her playing with her food more than eating it, a fierce internal struggle not to take the spoon and feed her ensued.

"Too hot?" he asked.

"Needs salt," she said wrinkling her nose.

Jon got up and retrieved the seasoning despite her protest not to. He pretended not to hear her over the storm outside.

To his great surprise, she salted the potpie, handed the shaker back to him, then began to eat. And continued to until she caught him staring at her with mouth agape.

"What?" she asked suddenly self-conscious.

He quickly shut his mouth and, without too much of a fumble, managed to get out, "I just can't believe we're finally alone. Like this. I never thought we'd get this far before May was over."

She gave an awkward laugh.

With any attention on her, she would not eat, he noted. So he turned his focus to the hockey game, keeping her in his periphery vision.

She started to eat again.

Then she got up to get him and herself seconds. Jon didn't know what to make of that and began to worry he misjudged the situation.

Maybe Shawn was right.

After dinner, he took the dishes to the kitchen and asked if she wanted him to bring her a brownie. She said yes so, he cut the dessert and returned to the living room more in doubt than before.

The storm outside surged on.

As the game entered the second period, the Rangers were ahead by two and Jon had a strange anxious feeling that something bad was about to happen.

The Rangers increased their lead to four.

Audrey curled up against him. Absently he massaged her feet and calves.

"I should go do the dishes," she said when intermission started.

As she started to slip her feet away from him that sense of impending doom increased, and thunder shook the building again.

The storm was growing violent.

He grabbed her feet. "They can wait until mornin'."

The intensity of his grip and his voice worried her.

"What's wrong?"

He forced himself to relax and cheekily pulled her onto his lap. "It's probably not a good idea to be doin' dishes with all the lightnin' outside."

She blinked and gave him a look he worried was one of suspicion.

"And," he said in a husky voice, "We never have time alone." He kissed the curve of her neck and ran his hand lightly down her arm. "Don't wanna waste it."

Audrey's expression was easy to read: is this a good idea?

No.

No, it wasn't.

Things could get out of hand very quickly.

So he brought up Shawn whom they discussed until the third period began. Jon was still unsettled, both because he wanted her closer than she was and because of that sense of dread that refused to leave him alone.

A few minutes into the period, the game was interrupted by another weather update: there was a tornado watch now in effect.

Immediately, Audrey was out of his lap and pacing the room.

He twisted around on the couch to watch her. She looked pale and very agitated.

"I wanna go get Shawn."

Jon frowned. "He's safe where he is, Aud. It wouldn't be safe for us to go get him."

"I don't like him being away from us in this kind of weather. I want him home." She was trembling.

He had never seen her so rattled by a storm.

She continued to pace and twist her hair into knots. He could not convince her to come back to him.

Thunder cracked so loudly the mugs on the expandable rack at the end of the kitchen cabinets shook. Jon turned in time to see her run to the bathroom just before the apartment was plunged into darkness.

He swore under his breath as he got up and stumbled to the closet. He stubbed his toe twice and hit his hand several times trying to locate the flashlight. Just as his hand closed around it, he heard a strange sound coming from the bathroom.

Water was running.

In the bathtub.

What in the world is she doin'?

He couldn't believe she would be taking a bath in this weather and a power outage.

She was too sensible for that.

The possible reason made his blood run cold.

She was too sensible for that.

"Audrey?" Jon pressed against the bathroom door. "You okay?

No response.

"Hey, Aud."

No response.

He turned the doorknob. It was locked.

"AUDREY!"

Jon pulled away from the door, turned to the side, and lowered his shoulder before slamming into the door. The flimsy lock gave way immediately.

The water in the bath and sink was running at full blast. Audrey was kneeling in front of the toilet making herself throw up.

His heart dropped to the floor as the cold realization that all his suspicions were true sank in.

How long has this been going on?

Audrey's past came to mind: Julliard.

She left Julliard suddenly and refused to explain why.

This was why.

This was the health issue Richie mentioned when they visited him during the NYC trip.

The water- she was running the water to hide the sound of what she was doing.

Jon sank to his knees behind her, put his arms around her, and pulled her away from the toilet bowl.

She fought him.

Not out of anger but out of fear.

She was terrified he knew the truth.

But she couldn't fight long. She was too tired.

Too weak.

Too embarrassed.

Thoughts and information sifted through his mind so rapidly he couldn't make sense of them. Fighting back tears, Jon shut his thoughts off and focused on taking care of her. All the training she'd given him in taking care of a sick teen, he poured back into her.

She was blazing hot and sweating profusely. He gathered her in his arms and hugged her tightly. With one hand he reached over the edge of the bathtub and shut off the water. He stood, carried her over to the sink, and turned the faucet handle to let it run as cold as it could get.

Then he picked her up and held her on his hip while he grabbed the flashlight and headed to the linen closet to retrieve a washcloth. She hung limply over his shoulders while agony coughed out of her in spurts.

In the closet, he found an old camping lantern that thankfully still worked.

Back in the bathroom he set her down on the counter and placed the lamp in the corner where it cast a large light in the small room.

Audrey's breath escaped through parted lips, ragged and pained. He lifted her chin with his fingertips, trying to get her to look at him. She looked everywhere else then finally closed her eyes. He brushed the hair sticking to her sweat-laced brow out of the way and kissed her forehead, her nose, her lips.

A pained cry escaped her chest as she repeatedly muttered that she didn't deserve him, that he shouldn't waste his time with her.

He kissed her again. She put her hand over his mouth.

She was grotesque, she was filthy, she smelled.

She tried to push him away with her words.

Stay away.

She was too weak to push him away physically.

He pressed her against him and countered every word against herself with "I love you".

He then kissed her once more and reached behind her to soak the washcloth in water. He rang it out and wiped her face, stopping to kiss away the tears and refresh the rag several times. When he was finished with her face, he reached for his toothbrush and toothpaste. When she realized what he was going to do she refused to open her mouth.

She was gross and dirty. She would contaminate his toothbrush.

He put the toothbrush down and did the only thing he knew to do. Taking her face between his palms, he lovingly caressed her cheeks with his thumbs before kissing her full on the mouth.

Her breath was hot, just like the rest of her. Her lips were parched and cracked. He didn't notice anything but her scent set on fire: chocolate and peppermint boiled on the surface of her skin, lemons and oranges baked in her hair.

It wasn't a kiss of passion he gave her, but of promise.

A promise to always be there, no matter what happened.

No matter how bad.

No matter how sick.

At first, she didn't respond then she melted into him clutching the back of his shirt tightly.

Jon picked up the toothbrush again, put the toothpaste on it, and wiggled it between her lips.

She didn't refuse this time.

He gently rubbed the brush over her teeth, assuming her mouth hurt from vomiting. Every so often he used the tip of the brush to nudge her mouth open a little wider so he could see if there was any damage to her teeth.

Corrosion of enamel was a sign of long-term purging he knew.

He inched the lantern closer, talking to her in low soothing tones, as he gently examined her mouth. From what he could see her teeth looked normal. He repressed a sigh, hoping he wasn't seeing only what he wanted to see.

After finishing with her teeth, he helped her slide off the counter and rinse her mouth out with water from his cup.

When he picked her up, her tears began again, hot and heavy.

Choked, broken sobs.

By the time he got her to the couch those choked broken sobs were also coming from him.

He wrapped her in the throw he had on the back of the couch. She trembled and shuddered against him and through the sobs pushed out apologies for being a burden, for being imperfect, for being broken.

She told him it was okay to leave. She understood. She would leave her too.

But that was the last thing Jon wanted to do. Never in his life had he wanted to stay more than he did at that moment.

"I love you," he reminded her over and over.

Audrey shook her head weakly. "No," she whispered. Her voice was raspy and frail. "You shouldn't. You'll waste your life on me."

She then explained in great detail the woman that was right for him, the woman he should love, the woman he should leave her to find: voluptuous, tan, pouty lips, a professional, and a blonde.

She was so hung up on physical appearance. Her entire worth was tied up in a twisted image of physical perfection.

In her mind, she was inferior and homely, bordering on unintelligent.

She was incapable of seeing the beauty that he held in his arms, a beauty that was so vibrant it was sometimes hard for him to look directly at her. A beauty didn't lie on the surface to be stripped away with time but one that was fused into the core of her being.

And she simply couldn't see it.

His heart broke and he struggled to breathe in the waves of emotion that assaulted him. He pressed her as close to him as he could. Whimpers into his chest was all that was coming out of her now. Her throat was raw, and her voice was gone.

He knew moving forward was going to be hard.

He knew there would be setbacks.

He knew it could be a never-ending cycle of relapses, lying, anger, denial, recovery.

He knew she might never overcome this.

He knew her past; he knew her present. More than anything, he wanted to know her future.

Looking down at her all he could see was her hair, messily sprawled over them both. The flame of her tresses was dulled to embers, matted and damp with sweat, the length tangled and twisted into thin strands. Her breath was erratic and jagged, but the sorrowful gulps of weeping he heard were not coming from her.

They were coming from him.

He was holding her at her weakest point, he realized.

And he loved her so much more than before he broke open the bathroom door.

"Only Daddy could make something so serious and sad sound so romantic," Julia said with a breathy sigh and dreamy look in her eyes when Jon took a pause in his story.

Shawn had to agree with her. He didn't realize Jon was such a storyteller. Audrey had mentioned he liked to write and now he wondered what he wrote.

Audrey leaned back and put a foot on the coffee table, tucking the other one under her as best she could. She was amused rather than upset that Jon told her story for her. "Your father has always been a romantic soul, much more so than me. He'd just rather die than admit it."

Jon looked irritated. "I am not romanticizin' a very serious event," he insisted. "I'm only tellin' it like it happened."

Julia grinned and hugged his arm.

"What?!" The grin on her face had that same deranged look that Shawn used to give him.

"All I heard was how in love with Mama you were."

Jon looked to Shawn for help.

Shawn chuckled then shrugged. "That's what I heard, too."

"You two missed the point entirely!" he groused. "And one of you was there. At least for some of it."

"Well, I've never heard the story told like this." Julia put her feet on Shawn's knee. "Certainly not with all those, ahem, details. I thought I was gonna have to leave the room."

Jon put his head in his hands and groaned. Audrey rubbed his back affectionately. She too was smiling.

"We know it's serious, Dad," Shawn assured him. "But I've never heard it told this way either. It'd make a great story. You should write it down and publish it."

Jon turned his head toward Audrey and rested his cheek against his fists with his lips pursed, frowning.

Her tongue flicked over her lips. "Who says he isn't?" she asked with a sly smile.

Shawn stared at him. "Really? Are you seriously writin' a book?"

Jon shot Audrey a dirty look and shrugged. "It's not much of anythin'."

"Yeah, but still…" Shawn's voice trailed off as Audrey's words came back to him again: "You're just like Jon."

They were both writers, apparently. The thought warmed him.

"It'll probably never be finished," Jon said gruffly. "Even it was, no one would wanna read it, so I'd just get copies made for you kids."

"That's so cool!" Julia squealed. "Daddy's writing a romance novel about him and Mom!"

"I am not!" His expression of outrage was so comical Shawn, Julia, and Audrey struggled not to laugh. "It's an autobiography."

"Anyway," Audrey said to take the attention off Jon. She saw he was embarrassed and upset although she didn't quite understand why he was so bothered by the idea. Of course, it was a romance; he was writing down their love story after all. "I'll take over from here."

She looked up at Shawn. "Of course, you have a say in this part too."

Shawn grew serious and nodded. "Yeah, I do."

Audrey leaned over and kissed Jon's cheek. He sat back looking upset, not an embarrassed upset but an agitated upset.

Julia picked up on this and leaned into him. "Why do I get the feeling there's something you're gonna say that I don't know and it's bad?"

Audrey glanced at Jon. His face was dark and angry. She looked up at Shawn who was watching his father with concern. "Because it's something neither one of you know about."

Shawn frowned. "I was there. What could've happened that I don't know about?"

Audrey shifted her position some. "There was an incident with Katherine. One that happened before she found out you two were hiding my treatment for the eating disorder."

The cold stark expression on her face shot cortisol through his system. He could feel his heartrate rising rapidly. He leaned forward.

"What was it?"

Audrey was lying in his bed curled into a small ball, quiet and still. Jon lay facing her on top of the covers, rubbing her back and kissing her forehead.

His thoughts were a jumbled mess as her story weighed heavily on his mind. The worst part wasn't that he didn't know what to do, but that he did.

He had to contact her therapist.

He had to send her back to New York.

He could get her help in Philadelphia, but that would mean starting over. In the City at least she would know everyone involved getting her help.

She wouldn't have to overcome trust issues in addition to everything else.

What he didn't know was how to let her go alone. She had no one in the City. Her father's parents died years ago, and the rest of his family was in California. Audrey had never met most of them and he refused to trust her to strangers, blood or not.

Her grandparents on her mother's side were also gone. She had family she knew but they were an ocean away with young families of their own. He didn't know if they would even be able to come over.

He couldn't let her go alone, but going with her was out of the question.

Shawn wasn't the issue, either.

He was sure he could figure out how to take the teen with them. Chet certainly wouldn't care where his kid was as long as he didn't have to take care of him. But in order for him to go, he'd have to take family leave which meant going to Feeny and explaining why he needed it.

He thought about every way possible to get around that, but he saw no real options. He couldn't claim family emergency. George knew he wasn't in contact with his family. He couldn't claim Audrey's dad as the family emergency because that would beg explanation. Audrey had always gone alone before so what reason would he have to go and take the rest of the year off?

He and Shawn could take her and stay the weekend, maybe stay over an extra day. But then they'd have to leave.

He could try to arrange for someone in England to come over.

Audrey's breathing was coming in slower, deeper breaths now. Jon ran his fingers through the touchable fire he loved so much.

Eli was always telling him he needed a little color in his life.

His best friend was right.

Jon couldn't believe he ever had a strong preference for blondes.

Audrey whimpered in her sleep and tensed up. He froze, unsure of what to do. She burrowed as close to him as she could get, burying her face against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and resumed rubbing her back.

He had to send her home.

But he couldn't let her go.

Shawn burst through the door just before 9 pm. He was excited to tell Jon and Audrey about the crazy light show he and Cory watched from the treehouse before Mr. Matthews hauled them back to the house while raging at them for being stupid.

His excitement died on his lips as he surveyed the empty room.

No one was in the living room. The dishes were still in the sink, unwashed.

He turned around slowly, trying to figure out where his teachers were hiding. He stopped when he was facing the door to Jon's room.

A slow smile spread over his face.

He smirked.

Then he frowned.

That would be out of character for them given the situation.

Before Shawn could wonder what was going on, Jon walked out of the bedroom. He didn't look happy nor annoyed that Shawn was home so soon.

He looked like he'd been crying.

Shawn felt sick.

Jon did not cry.

When his teacher didn't so much as offer a greeting, panic seized him. "Where's Audrey?"

Jon moved slowly to the couch. "She's asleep."

He gave Shawn a weary, gloomy look then motioned for the teen to join him. "Shawn, sit down. We need to talk."

A cold lump settled in his stomach as he dropped obediently into the space next to Jon.

"Is Audrey okay?"

The pain in Jon's eyes scared him. Instinctively, he kicked off his shoes and pulled his knees to his chest. He hugged himself tightly as though to protect himself from what was coming.

"No, she's not." Jon closed his eyes and pressed his thumbs into the bridge of his nose. "She's really sick, Shawn."

"Like how sick?" He tried to moisten his lips but his whole mouth had gone dry.

"Like we have to take her back to New York sick."

The words bounced off him. "What's wrong?"

"Bulimia."

"An eatin' disorder?"

"Right."

"Which one is that?"

"The one where you make yourself throw up after you eat."

These words did not make sense. Not when Jon was trying to tie Audrey up in them.

"Are you sure? I've never seen her do that."

"She was doin' it tonight."

"Maybe it was a one time thing." Shawn was reeling from the implication of what taking her back to New York meant.

It sounded final.

"It's not. She's been dealin' with this for a long time."

"But not throwin' up." Shawn refused to accept this assessment of the woman he'd come to view as his mother. "Jon, we'd know if she was. She's always with us. You're wrong."

"She told me."

"Told you what?"

"She doesn't always throw up because we're always around."

"But you're still accusin' her of throwin' up."

"She does. When she doesn't it's because she drinks a bottle or two of laxatives. Same effect."

A dark weight settled over Shawn as he looked back over the months they'd spent with her. There was one very odd thing about Audrey- she always knew where the bathrooms were wherever they went. If she didn't know it was the first thing she found out.

Shawn thought it was just a quirk of hers.

She said it was.

Audrey never lied.

Not to him.

"So she stops drinkin' laxatives."

Jon ran his hands over his face and through his hair. "It's not that simple, Shawn."

"Why not?" Jon's stubborn pursuit to find something wrong with his mother was infuriating.

"Bulimia isn't a medical condition it's psychological."

"Meanin'?" Shawn knew what it meant. He'd heard it before, but in regard to addiction and alcoholism.

Like Chet and Virna.

A panic swelled up in Shawn as he realized what that meant.

No, this is wrong! His mind screamed. Because if it was true, it would mean Audrey was the same as his so-called parents.

He refused to accept this.

She was the dead opposite of Virna.

Jon was wrong.

He had to be.

"Shawn, I'm callin' Audrey's advisor in the mornin'." Jon's voice was heavy with resignation. "She said he knows about the eatin' disorder. He'll make up a reason for her to go home. I'm takin' the next two days off to make arrangements."

"Arrangements for what?"

"For her to get treatment. There's an in-patient center in the Village. It's close to her place and it's where she was treated before."

Before? Shawn felt numb. After a long moment of studying his teacher critically, he said, "So are you gonna marry her then?"

Jon was caught off guard by the question. "Not now, no. Where'd that come from?"

"Well, how are you gonna do all this? I thought you had to be married or related to someone to do stuff like this to them."

"Yeah, to force someone into treatment." He sighed. "But Aud's agreed to go."

He was convinced Jon wasn't thinking this through. "Then how are you gonna explain us to her doctors? How are you gonna explain us to Feeny?"

Jon reached over and did something he'd never done before. He took Shawn's hand and held it. Shawn once saw Mr. Matthews do this to Cory when they were little kids and he had to tell his son the only dog they'd ever had didn't survive being hit by a car.

Shawn wanted to run.

He thought he was going to throw up.

"Shawn, there isn't gonna be any explainin'. We will take her up there this weekend, and we will come back here."

His mind kept rejecting what Jon was saying. "You're just gonna leave her alone?"

"She won't be alone." Jon let go of his hand. "You know her advisor is an old family friend. He'll stay with her until someone from her mom's side of the family can come over."

Shawn stared at him with mouth agape. An inexplicable rage engulfed him, and he jumped to his feet.

"So you're dumpin' her?!"

The accusation was like a physical blow to Jon. "I'm not dumpin' her.

"Yes, you are!" he shouted as fear got the best of him. "She's sick and you're passin' her off to someone else, so it doesn't inconvenience you!"

A shocking realization hit him so hard he saw two of Jon for a moment.

This is what Chet would do!

Chet would take off on Virna when she was sick, leave her for someone else to take care of, and come back when she was better.

Because her being sick was an inconvenience to him.

And Chet couldn't be inconvenienced.

Jon was just like Chet.

A wave of nausea hit him.

I'll throw up on Jon for this, he decided.

Clapping his hand over his ears he tried to silence the cognitive dissonance that overwhelmed him. He just couldn't accept that these two people with whom he had formed a real family were just like his old one.

Jon couldn't be Chet.

Audrey couldn't be Virna.

They just couldn't be.

Everything would be a lie if they were.

"Shawn, sit down!" Jon commanded, raising his voice above the noise in the teen's head.

"I am not dumpin' her." Pain bled through every word. "But I have to do what's best for her. And that's to take her home and get her in treatment with people who know her and her history."

Her history?

Shawn squatted on the couch feeling weak and woozy. "What history?"

Jon heaved a heavy sigh and flopped back against the couch. "You know she attended Julliard and dropped out."

"Yeah."

"She collapsed in the middle of a Swan Lake rehearsal where she was the lead. That's how the school found out about her eatin' disorder."

"How long?" he asked so quietly Jon almost didn't hear him.

"Since she was thirteen."

"That's how old she was when her mom died."

Jon nodded.

"She was forced into a caretaker role she had no business bein' in, but she had to do it," he tried to explain. "She didn't get a chance to grieve her mother really; she basically lost her dad, too. She had no say in what went on afterwards. And there's ballet itself- where so much of her life was controlled by others and based around physical appearance. It's a perfect storm for all this."

Shawn blinked. He understood feeling like everyone controlled you and you had no say in anything. But the ballet stuff didn't make sense to him. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I." Jon put a comforting hand on the teen's knee. "She said she had several instructors single her out in class and tell her she was too heavy and needed to lose weight."

"Audrey?" Shawn could not imagine Audrey not fitting the perfect ballerina image.

"She said she weighed then about what she weighs now."

The teen's mouth fell open. "But she's so small. How could anyone say she's not?"

"Ballet's a pretty cutthroat world, surprisingly. And cruel. Audrey said it was common for girls to be pulled to the center of the studio and have every flaw pointed out. They said Aud was too short, too hippy, too busty. If she lost weight, then it was somethin' different. There was always something wrong with her."

"Whoa," Shawn breathed. His heart broke for her, but he was still confused. "Why'd she wanna keep dancin' if it was so bad?"

Jon shrugged. "Lifelong dream, I guess."

They sat in somber silence for several minutes before Shawn spoke again. "You aren't really sendin' her back alone, are you?"

"I have no choice."

"But we're her family."

"I know."

"Why can't she stay here?"

"Because it'll be easier for her with doctors she knows."

"New York isn't that far."

Jon arched an eyebrow and gave him a quizzical look. He could see the teen was plotting something.

"I mean people commute there all the time." Shawn was staring into space, lost in thought.

"It's a couple of hours."

"But people do it."

"What are you suggestin'?"

Shawn turned to face him fully. "Can't we take her for appointments and stuff?"

"It's in-patient, Shawn. She has to stay."

He wrinkled his nose and put a finger over his mouth. "Is this as bad as before?"

Jon considered the question. "Not accordin' to her."

"So maybe she doesn't have to stay?"

"Shawn…"

"I mean, wouldn't a doctor have to check her out anyway? What if they say she's not so bad and doesn't have to stay?"

Jon fell silent, deep in thought.

"Couldn't you call her doctor and at least ask?" he pleaded.

"She does have to be evaluated," Jon admitted.

"And if they say she doesn't have to stay?"

"Maybe." Jon took a deep breath. "Maybe we could work somethin' out."

Shawn sagged against him in relief.

"Shawn."

He looked up at his teacher worriedly.

"We have to do what's best for her. Not us."

"I know." Shawn pushed his hair out of his face. "But I also know she needs us. We can't just leave her. We just can't."

Jon nodded. He took Shawn's hand again and squeezed it. "Get ready for bed, huh."

Shawn stood up. "Are you gonna sleep with her tonight?"

He nodded again. "I can't leave her alone."

The teen gave him a self-conscious shrug. "You care if I join you?"

Jon stood and clapped a hand affectionately on his shoulder. "It's a big bed, kid. We can make it work."

Tears stung Shawn's eyes as he stared at his teacher. "Is she gonna be okay?" he asked quietly.

Jon wasn't Chet and Audrey wasn't Virna. But the thought that she was struggling with something even distantly related to Virna's issues upset him in ways he couldn't understand, much less explain.

He was desperate for reassurance.

"I don't know, Shawn," Jon answered honestly. "I hope. She's askin' for help this time. So maybe that's a good sign."

Tears dripped down his cheeks. "I don't wanna lose her."

Jon's face reflected Shawn's. He'd already cried more that night than he had in his entire life. He reached out to Shawn and the teen eagerly accepted his embrace.

"I don't either, Shawn. I don't want to live Richie's life and I don't want you to live Aud's life. It's too much of a waste."

Shawn gripped Jon's shoulders as he tried to stifle his cries.

Jon put a hand on top of his head. Shawn could almost swear Jon kissed the top of his head.

"We gotta take care of her, huh?" Jon said. There was a far-off look in his eyes. "No matter what. You and me. We take care of her."

Shawn nodded and held onto Jon for a moment longer. Still nodding he took off to his room to get ready for bed.

The next morning, Shawn woke up around five to see Jon coming back to bed. Jon told him none of them were going into school that day. He went back to sleep missing most of the explanation on how his teacher managed that.

When he woke for good, Audrey was already sitting up in bed next to Jon, who was holding her. Shawn sat up and threw his arms around her suddenly, then worried that he'd hurt her in his clumsiness. She kissed the top of his head and gave him a tired smile. Jon reached out to pull him closer to them. They huddled together without saying anything until late in the morning.

Jon took over breakfast duty while Shawn took over watching every move Audrey made.

Audrey was tired, both emotionally and physically, to the point she was leaning on Shawn for support whether she was standing or sitting.

Shawn couldn't do enough for her.

When Jon was finished cooking, Shawn practically carried her to the table.

Breakfast was simple: eggs, bacon, and toast.

Shawn worried it wasn't enough, but Jon didn't think it was a good idea to push too much on her. Audrey let them fuss. She was too exhausted to argue.

She ate. Slowly.

Shawn counted her bites.

Jon didn't sit down with them like they expected him to. He took the phone and disappeared into his bedroom. Audrey finished eating while they waited for Jon to return.

"Can I get you anythin' else, Mama?" he asked as he took her dishes to the sink.

She smiled at the name and shook her head.

Shawn, overcome with great affection, rushed over to her.

The plate clattered in the sink where he dropped it.

"You're so beautiful. I love you, Mama. I'm sorry I haven't told you that much lately."

"I know, Shawn," she said softly. Her voice was still rough from the night before. "I've always known that."

Shawn hugged her again and kissed her cheek. "Are you sure you don't need anythin'?"

"No, love. I'm good."

The sound of running water coming from the bathroom caught their attention and they exchanged curious looks. Jon walked out of his bedroom with phone in hand.

"We gotta appointment with Dr. Amdsen at two," he told them. "We need to get outta here as soon as possible."

"We?" Shawn asked, wiping his hands on his jeans.

Jon nodded. "Family appointment."

"Aud," he said softly, brushing her hair over her shoulder. "I've got your bath ready. Everythin' you need is in there."

She nodded and smiled at him. Pushing back the chair she stood up, wobbling enough that Shawn thought she might fall. His abrupt rush to help her knocked her more off balance. Jon grabbed them both to steady them. She wrapped an arm around Shawn's neck and leaned her head against his.

"I'm okay," she told them.

Shawn escorted her to the bathroom door where Jon took over. Anxiously, Shawn waited outside, feeling useless and uncertain.

Jon saw him and said, "Go get ready."

Unhappily he did what he was told.

In the bathroom, Jon showed Audrey where he put her clothes and bath towel.

She stood in the middle of the room looking overwhelmed. "Where did you get my clothes?"

He smiled sheepishly. "After I got the calls made to get us outta school, I went over to your place. Shawn was with you, so I knew you'd be okay for an hour."

She squeezed his hand. "Thank you."

He kissed her forehead. "I grabbed your shampoo and conditioner but forgot the soap. I'm sorry. You're gonna smell half like you and half like me."

"I don't mind," she said with a smile.

"Are you gonna be okay on your own?"

She nodded. When she saw the worried look on his face, she said, "I promise."

"I'll be right outside the door."

Shawn found Jon sitting on the floor resting his back against the bathroom door. He took a seat next to him and asked, "How did you get us all outta school without makin' Feeny suspicious?"

Jon gave him a tired smile. "You didn't hear me this mornin', did you?"

He shook his head.

"I called Alex early this morin' and explained what happened. He called Mr. Feeny and told him he needed Audrey on campus today. Mr. Feeny then called me and told me Audrey wouldn't be in today. I took the opportunity to tell him that you and I weren't feelin' good, so we weren't comin' in."

"I'm surprised he believed you."

"Considerin' how I felt and sounded, I think I was pretty convincin'."

"Jon?" Audrey's call got him on his feet so quickly that he knocked Shawn over.

She was leaning against the sink looking pale. She was dressed but still looked disheveled.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I need my hair washed but I don't feel like doing it. It's just…" she lifted a handful. "Too much."

Without a word Jon grabbed her shampoo and conditioner then slipped an arm around her. When he saw Shawn peeking in, he asked him to grab a couple of towels.

He took Audrey to the living room and had her sit down while he ran up the stairs near Shawn's room. The stairs led to a small attic-like storage space. He grabbed one of the bar stools he kept in there for company. He took it to the sink and raised it high enough that Audrey could sit and lean comfortably over the sink. He placed one of the towels in front of her to lean on and turned the water on.

Once the water reached a comfortable temperature, he had her lean over and began to soak her hair with water from the sprayer. Her hair took up the entirety of the sink and Jon found it easier to wet thoroughly if he let the sink fill up with water. Recalling all the times she had massaged his head, he tried to do the same to her as he shampooed her hair.

Shawn stood close to her with his arm across her back, worried she might lean back and fall. Once her hair was washed, both he and Jon saturated the length with conditioner and rinsed it.

They did all this without a word.

Audrey's hair took two towels to soak up the moisture in it. They moved her from the stool to the kitchen chair. Jon began to dry her hair with the hair dryer as best he could. He wasn't quite sure what to do with hair so long. Shawn, needing something to do, sat in front of her absently massaging her hands.

Once her hair was dry, Audrey reached for her brush but Shawn and Jon both got to it before she did.

The two locked eyes.

Jon saw the need to help in his student's eyes, so he took his hand away and left to put the towels and hair dryer away.

Shawn picked up the brush and gently ran it through her hair several times over. He'd played with her hair before, but this was the first time he'd really felt it. It was soft and smooth, more so than his own and there was no product in her hair to make it sticky or hard.

It was the prettiest hair he's ever seen.

And Shawn knew pretty hair.

Jon came back and grabbed his keys and Audrey's purse. Shawn ran to his room to grab his wallet. At the front door, Audrey turned to face them. With tears in her eyes, she put one hand on Jon's cheek and one on Shawn's.

She kissed Shawn first then Jon.

"I love you both so much."

Shawn tried so hard not to say anything that might make her feel guilty, but he couldn't help it. "I need you, Mama. I need you so much. I love you," he said as he squeezed her hard.

On the edge of tears, she looked up at Jon.

"I need you, too," he whispered. "And I love you."

She squeezed Shawn tightly back and let Jon carry her to the truck.

Audrey's psychologist had an office on Bleecker Street. Jon told Shawn it wasn't too far from where Audrey's dad once worked and where he had a spent a large portion of his teen years. To pass the time while they waited, Jon pointed out various places of significance to the two of them from their eighth-story vantage point. Two hours later, Shawn had a pretty good idea of where things were located in the Village.

"Mr. Turner?"

Jon and Shawn turned to see a sharply dressed young man holding a clipboard.

"Dr. Amsden will see you now."

The two were ushered into a smaller office that was bathed in shades of gray and orange. An older woman in her late fifties stood to greet them. She was petite with permed black hair, pale makeup, and bright cherry lips.

Shawn, who was used to being overlooked by adults in serious circumstances, hung back as he did not expect to be acknowledged.

"Please have a seat," she said motioning to the visitor chairs as she went to her desk. The doctor caught his attention and smiled. "You too, Shawn."

That she knew his name piqued his curiosity and he warmed to her enough to ask, "Where's Audrey?"

"She's receiving treatment for a suspected electrolyte balance right now."

A strangled yelp of concern escaped him and he jumped to his feet.

"We're giving her Gatorade," the doctor explained, unperturbed. "And making sure she doesn't need to go to the hospital for an IV."

"Oh," he said sitting back down as she continued to reassure him.

Dr. Amsden was little different from most doctors Shawn had seen. Most doctors didn't pay attention to him. They talked to his parents but never to him. But this doctor treated him like he was capable of understanding what was going on.

He appreciated that immensely.

Talk quickly turned to family dynamics. Surprisingly, she understood their family and did not seem to think it was strange.

Still Dr. Amsden came out swinging with her first question for Jon. "Exactly how serious is your relationship with Audrey?"

Jon stared down at the floor for a moment, unsure of what to say. He felt strange discussing this with a stranger in Shawn's presence when he hadn't spoken to Audrey about specifics yet.

"Well," he sighed, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm hopin' for an engagement this summer."

Shawn stared at him, mouth agape, eyes wide.

That was his birthday wish. Well, marriage was but an engagement would do.

"And what about you?"

It took Shawn a moment to realize she was talking to him.

"Well," he stammered feeling as awkward as Jon with whom he had not discussed his feelings with much. "I'm kinda hopin' for maybe an adoption this summer. Or somethin' like that."

Dr. Amdsen nodded neutrally. "So you're both in this for the long haul?"

"Yes," they responded passionately.

"Good." She paused. "Audrey will need you both."

Shawn shot his teacher a "see I told you so" look.

Jon leaned forward in his seat. "What exactly are we dealin' with?"

Dr. Amsden sat back and folded her hands in front of her. "Unfortunately, Audrey checks all the boxes of a relapse: episodes of compulsive binge eating, purging episodes involving induced vomiting, use of laxatives, and diuretics. She is unduly negative about her body shape and weight. And she has missed her menstrual cycle for the past three months."

Shawn watched Jon's face drain of every last bit of color with morbid fascination.

His teacher looked ill.

"But that's impossible," Jon stammered in bewilderment. "That can't be! We never…"

The doctor shook her head and put up her hand. "No, no. I didn't mean to imply she's pregnant. Missed cycles are common with eating disorders due to the stress the body is put under. We see this more with anorexic patients, but it can occur in bulimic patients as well." She gave him a sympathetic look. "Audrey does show signs of anorexia in her intense fear of gaining weight even though she is underweight.

"How underweight?"

"She's at 90. For her height of 5'4" a healthy weight would be between 107- 120 pounds."

Shawn watched as Jon put one hand over his mouth while the other maintained a white-knuckled grip on the chair's arm.

He twitched his nose as he returned his attention to the doctor. "How long does she have to stay away from us?"

Dr. Amsden softened as the phrasing of the question reminded her that Shawn was still a kid; a confused and scared one at that.

"She doesn't."

"I mean how long does she have to stay with you? In a hospital?"

"Hospitalization is recommended if the patient is at or below 75% of their ideal body weight. This is due to the dangers of a low body weight. Electrolyte imbalance, low potassium or too much sodium caused by purging can be life threatening. Eating disorders also put a great deal of stress on the heart. Audrey has undergone testing for these conditions. Bloodwork has been ordered but I do believe we are looking at just a mild case of electrolyte imbalance."

Shawn stared at her uncomprehendingly. "Can't answer a direct question, huh, Doc?"

She smiled amusedly. "Living with an eating disorder and another co-morbid condition like depression can interfere with patients' participation in treatment. Hospitalization may be needed to stabilize depression symptoms before patients can be successful and therapy only care. Suicidal thoughts or behaviors are also a concern and of course, unwillingness to engage in treatment."

She chuckled at Shawn's annoyed look. His guardian may have wanted all of her information, but she could see the teen did not.

"As far as Audrey is concerned," she said. "While she meets some of these requirements, she is open to treatment. As the presiding psychologist over her inpatient treatment three years ago, there is a marked difference in her mental state then and now. While we are waiting for lab results, the medical doctor who examined her does not believe her physical health has deteriorated to the degree of hospitalization."

She leaned forward and said softly, "She can do outpatient therapy."

Jon put his hands over his face and sank back into his chair in relief.

Shawn could not relax, however. "What kinda therapy?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Major progress has been made in the treatment of bulimia since Audrey was last admitted," Dr. Amsden told him. "It's good that she's dealing with bulimia. I know that sounds odd but with bulimia, chances of recovery are high- 60 to 70 percent of patients succeed. Anorexia recovery has a significantly lower success rate."

She turned her attention to Jon. "Studies have found that cognitive-behavioral therapy is the most effective treatment for bulimia. One theory is that depression triggers anorexia and bulimia. If you go on a diet and there's a history of depression or alcoholism in your family, there's a much higher risk of developing an eating disorder."

The word alcoholism burned Shawn's ears. He shuddered involuntarily.

"There's definitely a history of depression in Audrey's family," Jon said solemnly. "Richie obviously, but also Lizzy. I know she battled depression throughout her illness."

"I encourage you both to be optimistic. Studies have shown that antidepressants help patients stop bingeing and purging. The best results were achieved with those who received both cognitive-behavioral therapy and antidepressant medication."

Jon nodded. He was silent for a moment then asked, "So what's next?"

Dr. Amsden pushed her chair back and studied them seriously. "The first goal of treatment is to help Audrey establish regular eating habits with good nutrition. Then in therapy she will identify the physical signals of emotional triggers that lead to bingeing. Once those are identified, strategies for handling them are created while also addressing distorted attitudes toward body shape and weight. We want to get rid of the underlying irrational belief, such as that of 'if I'm five pounds overweight, my boyfriend won't like me'."

This felt like a personal attack to Jon who defensively said, "I've never said anythin' to make her think that. Most of the time I keep my thoughts to myself, but I thought she understood that I have to because of the school situation."

"It's not about you, Jonathan," she assured him. "It's about her thinking patterns. Tell me. When you noticed weight was an issue did you try to counter her thoughts in any way?"

"Of course, I did. I told her exactly how attractive I found her."

"Did it make a difference?"

"No," he said slowly. "It was like I was sayin' the opposite."

"It's not about you," she said again. She picked up a file on her desk. "Now therapy for bulimia usually lasts up to 25 sessions, with meetings more than twice a week in the beginning. At the end of treatment, she will have her own maintenance manual based on these sessions. That way, she has strategies she can use on her own."

"Okay," Jon sighed. He still looked sick to Shawn. "That's not bad. But I'm concerned about her being here on her own."

"Why would she be on her own?"

"I can't leave my job and I need permission to take Shawn out of state for an extended time."

"She doesn't have to receive full treatment here. We have a sister clinic in Philadelphia. Since Audrey is my patient, I would prefer to keep her. She can see Dr. Norris Walker for most appointments, but I will need her here twice a week for the duration of treatment."

Shawn gripped Jon's arm and looked at him imploringly.

"We can do that," Jon said firmly. He wasn't sure how, but with Shawn he was sure they could come up with something.

It may not be sane, but it would be something.

"Before you leave there is one last thing I need to ask you, Jonathan."

"Yeah?"

"Have you discussed having children with Audrey yet?"

That was another question Jon was not prepared to answer.

It made everything suddenly very real.

No more "make it to May".

No more marriage and family being at some arbitrary time in the future.

It was real. And it was now.

"I take it you mean kids other than Shawn," he said slowly.

She nodded.

"Not really. But I know havin' more kids is important to her."

"Then you need to know that women with a current or historical eating disorder have more fertility problems, higher incidences of unplanned pregnancies, and often have negative feelings about having a child."

Jon was suffering from information overload. He couldn't imagine Audrey having negative feelings about having a child. As for himself, if it wasn't for Shawn and Audrey, he was fairly certain he would not want children, but he hadn't really thought it through either.

"Are you sayin' she can't have kids?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm saying that eating disorders can cause havoc with a woman's endocrine system which in turn disrupts ovulation and can result in irregular menstrual cycles or, as in Audrey's case, stop them completely. All of these factors can affect fertility and can increase the risk of miscarriages."

"Does she know about this?" If depression was already a concern, Audrey learning this would worsen things considerably. He knew it would devastate her if she couldn't have kids. "I think she's already promised Shawn a sister."

Shawn felt extremely conflicted about all of this. He wanted Audrey to be healthy more than he wanted a sister, but a small part of him was bitterly disappointed this might not be possible.

"There is hope," she said kindly. "Plenty of women go on to conceive after being successfully treated. Audrey's young and that helps. But it's something you need to be aware of for the future."

"Yeah," Jon mumbled pinching his bottom lip. "Yeah."

After a few more minutes of Dr. Amdsen compiling Audrey's paperwork and treatment schedule, she left them and returned with Audrey.

After leaving Dr. Amsden, the trio returned to where they were staying for the weekend- Audrey's childhood home, a brownstone on West 10th Street in the Village.

Jon sat on the couch with Audrey in his lap and Shawn at his side.

"I really appreciate you guys doing all this for me," she said wearily, resting her head against his collarbone. "I'm sorry I've put you through so much."

"You haven't, Aud." Jon kissed the part of her hair. "We're worried about you is all."

Tears welled up. "I don't know what I'd do without you." She reached for Shawn's hands and held on tightly.

Jon was quiet for a long time, tracing slow circles on her lower back. "Dr. Amsden said we can keep you."

She smiled. "I'm glad."

He looked at Shawn and said pointedly. "We need a plan."

The teen perked up. "A secret one?"

"A secret one."

Shawn picked up Audrey's schedule that was on the coffee table. "What's the problem?"

"We can get to Aud's Philly appointments, no problem," Jon said. "She's never taken her allotted sick days so she can use those for the appointments during the school day. The problem is the New York appointments."

"What about Uncle Alex?"

"What about him?"

"Can he give Aud a cover when she's in New York?"

"Yeah, he's willing to, but I don't wanna lie if we don't have to. We need to save him in case we get backed into a corner."

"Can't she use those sick days for the New York trips?"

Jon shook his head. "In order to have all the mid-mornin' appointments covered, she'll have to take half of a sick day each time. New York will be all day."

Audrey listened to them bounce back and forth between questions and ideas. "What about using my dad as a cover?" she suggested. "He wouldn't mind."

"But going up twice a week? Feeny might call the hospice out of concern. No, we keep Richie for an emergency, too."

Audrey bit her lip, feeling discouraged. "This isn't going to work, is it?"

"Yes, it will!" Shawn cried jumping up. He began to pace. "We just haven't hit the right idea yet."

Jon exchanged looks with Audrey. He was beginning to have his own doubts. "I think we're gonna have to tell Feeny."

They stared at him in horror.

"Jon?"

"Maybe honesty will work," he said slowly trying to sort out his thoughts. "We tell him you need accommodation in your schedule. You're supposed to finish in May. Maybe George will let you spread out the rest of your student teaching until the end of our school year."

"What about us though?" Shawn pushed back in frustration. "You tell him, and you can bet he'll be keepin' an extra close eye on Audrey and us. We're toast as a family!"

"It would only be until the end of the school year."

Shawn crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Jon. "First May and now the end of the school year. You keep movin' the goalpost."

Jon shot him a disgruntled look.

Audrey tapped her fingers against Jon's palm. "Do you think he would let me spread out my student teaching to June?"

Jon slowly shook his head in defeat. "No. I think he'll make you stop and come back next year. And you'd be alone for treatment because we'd be watched even more closely."

A devious look gleamed in Shawn's eyes. While they were talking, his mind was spinning. "I have a plan."

Jon looked at him suspiciously. "You do?"

He nodded and smirked, pleased with his own cleverness. "Uncle Alex suddenly has more papers due so Aud can't be on lunch duty. More requirements will mean less time for afterschool stuff."

Shawn walked back and forth in front of the television.

"Aud needs to be in New York Mondays and Fridays. It's only two days. We have three Monday holidays left and two Fridays. Then there's the end of the year. It's always crazy. Feeny's gonna be so occupied with that it'll be easy to distract him if he asks why she isn't around."

Jon didn't see how that would work. There were too many variables to account for. Too many things that could go wrong. "I dunno…"

"C'mon, Jon." Shawn sat on the coffee table. "We can do this. Cory and Topanga will help."

"No, no!" Jon was adamant against this. "The more people involved the harder it will be to keep stories straight. I don't like all this lyin'."

"Okay." Shawn puffed his bangs out of his eyes. "We bring them in only if we have to."

Jon arched an eyebrow. "What am I gonna tell Feeny if he wants her in his office and she's in the City?"

"We'll come up with somethin'. We'll say she went to a weddin' or to the museum."

"Museum?" Jon rubbed his temple. Trying to follow the teen was giving him a headache.

"Yeah, tell Feeny she went to see the T-Rex skeleton for a lesson plan or somethin'."

Jon pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't convinced any of this was going to work. All he could see was them getting caught by Feeny and losing everything. But they didn't have much choice. Against his better judgment, he leaned into the plans Shawn was making and started to contribute his own.

Monday came too soon for Audrey.

Jon's hand rested on her hip. His warm breath and the spice of his cologne tickled her nose making her feel both sleepy and awake at the same time.

It was a strange feeling.

But not as strange as Jon's closeness.

Shawn lay on the other side of her, with his arm haphazardly tossed over her shoulder and his thumb in her ear. He was sleeping on her hair like it was his pillowcase.

That was also a strange feeling.

But the strangest feeling of all was of not being alone.

Her greatest fear since September had been that two besides her would find out her secret and they wouldn't want her anymore.

Jon's reaction in particular puzzled her. She fully expected him to distance himself and eventually back out of their relationship which had barely started. Taking on issues like hers was exhausting for family members and much more so for someone who had no responsibility to her.

But Jon stayed and went into immediate action. She didn't understand why he chose to do this. But she was overwhelmed with happiness and relief that he did.

Lifting her hand to his brow, she gently massaged the frown lines from between his eyes.

It was difficult for her to process all that had happened in the past 72 hours. In that time, she'd seen her therapist and a medical team and Jon and Shawn had come up with a plan for her to maintain her sessions while also completing school. She didn't fully understand how they were going to keep it from Mr. Feeny, but they both assured her that all she had to do was focus on getting well and they would do the rest.

Audrey was the caretaker. Even as a child, she took care of her friends. Being taken care of was an unfamiliar concept and difficult to accept. It felt like a failure of character on her part to be such a burden. Yet neither Jon nor Shawn treated her as though she was.

It was a very strange place to be indeed.

Jon stirred in his sleep. His hand moved up to her waist and he snuggled closer until his head was pressed against her collarbone. At the same time, Shawn moved his arm so that it was across her neck and on top of Jon's head.

Memories of her first time in a hospital for in-patient treatment came back.

It was a cold and solitary experience.

She had no visitors expect a few close friends of her father's who came randomly because that was their nature. She was there nearly a month before her aunt came.

Cold. Stark. Lonely.

Not this time.

All their family time seemed like playing house up until this point. All of Jon's promises seemed so far away just three days ago. It didn't seem like May would ever come. But it was here now in the form of the two figures sleeping next to her.

She wasn't alone.

The alarm went off and it took several moments before Jon untangled himself from them and reached over to slam the clock into silence. Shawn lifted his head enough to put his chin on her shoulder. He left his arm on her neck.

She kissed the inside of his elbow. Jon moved the teen's arm out of his way and leaned down to kiss her.

Audrey sighed.

The kiss lingered until Jon realized they were being watched. He ruffled Shawn's hair and kissed her again.

Amidst much grumbling the three got ready to begin a new school week.

Nothing changed initially.

She saw Dr. Walker twice a week after school for the first two weeks. Then once at lunch and once after school for the two weeks after that.

Getting her to New York was a little harder.

Dr. Amsden allowed her to have the earliest possible sessions on Mondays and Fridays so she could be back for at least afternoon classes. Uncle Alex gave her a strict assignment schedule that kept her "in the library" on Monday and Fridays.

Three weeks into their covert plans, Harley Keiner caught her and Jon returning from one of her lunch sessions.

Mr. Feeny was looking for them.

"Don't worry, Mr. T," he told them. Once at odds with Jon, Harley, after Shawn's birthday party, had newfound respect for the English Lit teacher. "I had Frankie and Joey cause a minor distraction. By the time Feeny gets it settled, he won't even remember he was lookin' for ya."

"Thanks, Keiner."

"Is everything all right?" he asked with sincere concern. "You've been slippin' out a lot lately and it doesn't look it's to have some fun."

Jon exchanged worried looks with her.

"If you need help…" the older student offered when he saw how uncomfortable they were.

Ordinarily Jon would not have accepted help from Harley. However, he'd seen a different much softer side of the high school non-achiever in the days leading up to Shawn's fifteenth birthday. It concerned him if Harley noticed their absence others might have as well, so he took the student in their confidence.

Audrey wasn't opposed to this. Since Shawn's birthday she had become close to Harley's younger sister, T.K. Truancy and other issues aside, Harley wasn't quite as bad a character as he liked to portray himself. In a way, she felt relieved that someone else knew and could help to lighten the load on Jon and Shawn.

But soon after, Audrey's Monday and Friday "library" sessions began to attract someone else's interest, someone whom they did not want in their confidence.

Katherine Tompkins.

Her behavior towards Audrey was hard to understand. She knew the social studies teacher was convinced something was going on between her and Jon. She'd been convinced of that long before anything actually was. Now the woman was circling Audrey with constant compliments and praise, rather than outright ignoring her as she usually did.

To say she was suspicious was an understatement.

Not only was Audrey suspicious but incredibly aggravated as well. Katherine may have forgotten what she did to Jon and Shawn with the stolen key, but Audrey had not. Although it did occur to her that perhaps this was Katherine's way of getting her to openly admit she knew about the key, which would be an admission that she and Jon were together after school.

So Audrey told Jon about it and otherwise kept her mouth shut.

Jon was furious and stuck Harley on Katherine's every move with orders to keep her far away from Audrey. It was an assignment that the perpetual senior aced.

Unfortunately, with Harley watching Katherine, others began to watch Audrey.

Andrea Nguyen was the first to notice her absences. Audrey blamed them on her father's health. While her friend accepted this, she was still deeply concerned. Concerned to the point she said something to Mr. Feeny, which put Audrey directly in the principal's crosshairs.

Mr. Feeny began asking more questions about where she was and what she was doing. These questions came from a place of concern as he took a more personal interest in her. Audrey hated to lie. When Jon found out what was going on, he stepped in to talk to Feeny directly. He told the principal the pressure to talk was bothering her.

George surprised them with the suggestion to talk to a professional if she needed to.

This gave them the perfect excuse for Audrey's Monday and Friday absences. She told Mr. Feeny she would like to but there was only one therapist she felt comfortable speaking with. After a call to her advisor, Mr. Feeny came to discuss the situation with Jon. It was decided that Audrey would be gone most of the day on Mondays and Fridays. Her student teaching would be extended by two weeks to make up for this.

Jon, Shawn, and Audrey all breathed a sigh of relief over how things worked out.

They were safe.

At least until Katherine started tracking Jon's lunchtime absences by continually checking up on him.

Shawn, irate with more of her intrusion, went against Jon's wishes and told Cory and Topanga to enlist their help to keep her and any other busybodies away. They did this together and on their own. As a result, the three had trouble keeping their stories straight and it stressed Jon out having to clean up after them.

Then the rumors started.

No one was named but the rumors told of two teachers with quite the age gap who were secretly seeing each other. The teacher's lounge became uninhabitable for Jon and Audrey as it was filled with constant gossip and betting on who was involved.

The only time it stopped was when Mr. Feeny walked into the room. As soon as he was gone it started up again.

Then one afternoon, Jon walked in and heard Audrey's name being tossed around.

The science teacher, Sorrell, was standing in the middle of the room, calling attention to himself in his arrogant way. In a tone that made Jon's skin crawl, the man boomed, "Ah, you know how young women are attracted to power and experience. And who am I to say no to such a pretty little thing? I could most certainly teach her a thing or two."

It was all Jon could to do not punch the man in the face for his innuendo. At the same moment Mr. Feeny stepped into the room, unaware of the disaster his presence prevented. He, too, was furious about what the science teacher was implying.

"Mr. Sorrell!" He bellowed angrily.

"It's Doctor," the man snapped back as though the principal had no right to address him at all.

"It's Darryl. In my office. Now."

At the next teacher's meeting Sorrell, red-faced and bitter, was forced to apologize to Audrey in front of the entire faculty. Afterwards Jon unwisely issued his own warning to Sorrell about ever saying Audrey's name again.

The rest of the week was uneventful.

At least that's how it seemed to Jon, Shawn, and Audrey.

Two days after Sorrell's public apology, Mr. Feeny sat in his office, sorting through end-of-the-year requests from teachers for the following year. When he came across Sorrell's conceited demands, he wadded them up and tossed them into the trash. He sincerely hoped the science teacher would do something so egregious he could fire him without tenure and the union getting in the way.

"Feeny!" The intercom speaker next to his arm crackled to life with an irritated, gravelly voice.

George sighed. He much regretted making the former janitor his secretary after Cory's exposé earlier in the year got him fired from his original position.

He jammed his finger on the intercom button. "Yes, Bud."

"A Miss-, hey you, what's your name again?"

The response was too low for the principal to hear.

"Tompkins. Does a Tompkins even work here?"

Internally, George groaned.

"Yes, yes, send her in."

A few minutes later Katherine entered his office and greeted him warmly.

He returned the smile. For all the conflict there was between her and Jonathan, he did very much like her. She was one of the few who did not treat him like a robotic administrator with no interests outside of school grounds. It was only in the wake of her break-ups with the English Lit teacher that he dreaded seeing her. The constant tears and rehashing of events were something he had limited patience for.

There were no tears this time, but she did seem anxious.

"What can I do for you, Katherine?" he asked genially.

"I, um, have something I need to talk to you about." Her eyes darted around the room nervously. "But I'm not sure how to bring it up."

"What is this about?"

"It has to do with Dr. Sorrell's apology."

"Oh?"

"You know rumors come from somewhere. They don't usually just spring up."

George cocked his head to the side. "Most of the time they don't."

"I'm, I'm not sure I should say anything."

She twisted the hem of her shirt until the thread began to unravel.

George leaned forward and laced his fingers together in front of his chin. "About what?"

She sighed heavily. "I'm afraid those rumors are true. It's just that Daryll wasn't the one dating Audrey."

The principal refrained from reacting to Katherine very friendly addressing of the science teacher. Most called Sorrell by his surname or simply "that jerk".

"Do you know who she's dating?"

Katherine upper lip trembled anxiously. "It's just that Audrey has been absent quite a bit lately."

He didn't miss that she redirected the conversation rather than answer the question.

"Yes, I am aware, Katherine," he responded in a neutral tone. "It's not my place to disclose Miss Andrews' personal business, but I do know what's going on and she has my permission to be absent on Monday and Friday mornings."

The tiniest bit of surprise registered in Katherine's eyes. She briefly pressed her lips together, then said, "I'm talking about missing lunch periods."

George maintained a blank expression. He allowed her to go on, curious about why she was really in to see him.

"She hasn't been down to the cafeteria in over a month, not even when Jonny's on duty."

Jonny? He frowned slightly. Jon wasn't fond of ex-girlfriends calling him by this childhood nickname.

"The school year is drawing to a close," he replied. "I happen to know she has quite a bit of work yet to complete."

Katherine's brow lifted ever so slightly. Her voice dropped as she leaned over and said, "Why would she need to leave campus to work?"

"Leave campus?" This was news to him.

"Twice a week."

The principal remained silent.

"It's been like this for a while."

She's up to something, he determined. And she was not here out of concern for the student teacher.

"Faculty members including student teachers are allowed to leave during lunch periods provided duties are not neglected."

Katherine paused. A look of annoyance flashed across her face before she blunted stated, "She's been leaving with Jon."

George sat back and studied the social studies teacher carefully. He put a fist against his lips as a conversation he had had with Jonathan not that long ago came back to him.

"She tell you she stole Shawn's key, made a copy of it, used it to get into my apartment, and steal my clothes? She also tell you she used my clothes in that stunt she pulled in front of you to try to convince me to get back together with her?"

"I'm unaware that Jonathan has been leaving campus."

She relaxed some. "I'm not sure how long it's been going on, but it's been within the last 5 weeks."

Feeny said nothing.

"They have a student running interference for them."

"Who?"

"Keiner."

"Which one?"

He saw her repress an eyeroll.

"The boy."

George lifted his chin. He made note that she couldn't recall Harley's name, a name everyone knew, teacher or not. "What makes you think this?"

"He has been very purposefully making sure I have no interaction with Audrey or Jonny."

"It seems as if you've been fully initiated into John Adams High. Congratulations. Harley does that to everyone sooner or later."

She paused. It was clear she didn't recognize the name at first. Biting her bottom lip, she tried again. "George, I don't know how to put this without sounding crass."

"Try, Miss Tompkins."

"Look, I'm often in the staff bathroom at the same time she is. It seems like she's always in there for one reason or another."

"And?"

"And I just remember last year when Asia Brown was in the bathroom like that."

"Last year Ms. Brown was pregnant."

"Yes. I know."

"I know what you're gonna say and I don't wanna hear it, George. I am not datin' anyone from here."

"What I was going to say is that I am very concerned about your relationship with Miss Andrews."

"Why?"

"I believe it's bordering on inappropriate."

"Why? What proof do you have? Somethin' that Kat made up?"

George leaned back in his chair as he pondered that meeting with Jon. "Being in the bathroom frequently could point to any number of issues."

"Does it?" She was growing frustrated. "Asia was in the bathroom because she was suffering from nausea all the time. Her food aversion was so bad she couldn't come down to the cafeteria. The rest of us had to pick up her lunch duty until she went on maternity leave. She had heartburn and indigestion so bad that she had to leave school more than once during lunch for doctor's appointments. And then was her clothing…"

Everything she said was true. He himself had heard Audrey complaining about many of these issues. He mulled this information over against what he knew about Audrey. He stared at the woman in front of him, the one Jon said stole a student's key and who had been unable to accept the end of their relationship.

"What about Miss Andrews' attire?"

"Well, she used to wear very fitted clothing. Not so much these days."

This was also true. He had attributed this to a change in fashion, however Audrey was the only adhering to the trend.

"A woman trying to get a man's attention doesn't normally wear such oversized clothes like she is now. Not unless she already has that attention and there's a reason to hide it…"

George had a hard time believing what he was hearing.

Although he'd long suspected that Jonathan had an interest in Audrey that exceeded the bounds of what was appropriate for the teacher/student teacher relationship, he didn't believe that the younger teacher would be quite that foolish.

His caution to Jon over his relationship with Audrey came from a place of concern for both of them. Audrey's age and Jon's position of authority over her could ruin his career and cause them both a great deal of trouble should that relationship shift while she was still his student teacher.

He'd seen it happen.

He'd experienced it.

The one thing that held him back from removing Audrey from her placement was the same thing that prevented him from removing Shawn from Jon's homeroom: his care and concern was genuine.

When Jon first started teaching at John Adams High, his notorious reputation with women was a much talked about topic of gossip in the teacher's lounge. This reputation effectively died a few months into in Audrey's student teaching. His behavior around Audrey was markedly different than with any other woman he'd seen him with or heard him talk about.

Did he believe something was going on between them?

Yes.

Did he believe it was something that would result in a pregnancy?

No.

Jon cared too much about Audrey for that to happen right now.

Katherine's accusations infuriated him. The tiny reactions when her words didn't land the way she expected and the way she kept tweaking the story told him that she was making this up. That she was willing to potentially ruin an ex-boyfriend's career over a relationship that didn't work out astounded him.

In fact, what she was accusing him of could very much ruin his life if it was phrased in such a way to the school board. Once in the school board's hands, it would inevitably make it to the press.

"You don't know Katherine and you don't really know me. You think you do but you don't. I just can't get over how little you think of me!"

Jonathan was right, he realized. He didn't know Katherine, at least not as well as he thought he did. But he did know the English Lit teacher.

"Let me make sure I understand you clearly." His tone was no longer neutral. He did not hide his displeasure with her. "You are accusing a teacher of using his position of authority to get his student teacher pregnant."

She looked appropriately embarrassed. "I'm not accusing him, George," she said woefully. "I'm just bringing you the information I have. What you do with it is your business. But if you allow this to go on, it reflects poorly on you and your ability to manage your staff."

"How do you know any of this is true?"

"You have the evidence. What else could it be?"

"I have no such evidence. I have hearsay and perhaps a significant amount of lies."

Katherine paled as she tried to regroup. He didn't allow her to make another attempt at slandering Jon.

"We're done here, Miss Tompkins," he snapped so harshly that she jumped.

She was obviously expecting him to blindly take her side. Unfortunately, for her, he was seeing things very clearly. Shaken at his refusal to hear her out, she stood to leave.

George called out sharply as she reached the door. "I suggest you keep this to yourself, Katherine. If you should attempt to ruin Jonathan's reputation, I assure you it will be your career in tatters not his."

Her cheeks blazed crimson and she left in a huff.

After she was gone, he turned the desk light off and sat with his head in his hands.

Everything Jonathan had told him about her was correct.

He owed the younger teacher an apology.

Shawn and Julia stared at their parents in stunned silence.

Neither moved.

Jon bowed his head, resting his forehead against his fists. He could feel an intense headache coming on as the memory caused a visceral reaction he wasn't expecting.

Shawn was the first to recover his ability to speak.

"She didn't actually go to Feeny and tell him Mom was pregnant?" For everything Katherine had done and was doing, he still found it hard to accept that she would stoop so low. It seemed extreme even for her.

He must of have misheard the entire story.

Agitated, Jon rubbed a finger over his bottom lip. His face was pinched in resentment.

Shawn looked at Audrey who was closely watching her husband.

"She did," she confirmed, not taking her eyes off Jon.

The way he felt at fifteen when Katherine ruined his future surged through him with greater intensity. He swore loudly as he got up from his seat, startling Julia.

"So all this time I thought she just told Feeny you and Mom were datin'. But she actually told him you got Mom…" Shawn couldn't finish the thought. It was bad enough that for all these years he thought the only thing she did, other than steal his key and be a nuisance, was to turn them into Mr. Feeny.

Something akin to hate snaked around his heart. "How did you find out?"

Jon sighed. "When I got called in about hidin' Mom's eatin' disorder, George told me. He said he knew I wouldn't do what she accused me of, but at the same time he was relieved to know that a pregnancy wasn't even possible. He said if it had been, Kat may very well have taken her accusation to the school board."

Shawn stared at the ceiling. She had been willing to destroy Jon's life just to get back at him for breaking up with her and choosing Audrey.

He wanted nothing more than to take her down in the most public way possible.

"How did she find about Mom, though?" Julia demanded. She was absorbing all of her family's indignation which magnified her own. Her feelings towards Katherine were the same as Shawn's.

"Katherine should have been an actress," Audrey snorted. "She did a very good job at impersonating Aunt Annette."

"How could she do that?"

"She went through Jon's place from top to bottom. All of my paperwork was there. There were voicemails from my family still on the machine along with messages from my doctors."

Julia's scowl deepened as she angrily picked at a loose thread on the knee of her jeans. As she mulled this over, her father's best friend sprang to mind, and she looked up at her mother sharply. "So how come Uncle Eli is dating someone so gross?"

This got Shawn's attention and the scowl on his face made him look like Julia's twin. "Does he know what she did?"

Jon was the one to answer this. "Oh, yeah. I went to Eli pretty early on about Audrey. He kept an ear open to what was bein' said and relayed it to me."

"So he knows and he's dating her anyway?!" Julia was outraged and hurt at what she saw was her uncle's betrayal. "I can't believe he'd do that!"

"Eli's a good guy who believes people can change," Jon said wearily. "But if she hasn't changed, he'll dump her quick."

Shawn and Julia continued to rail against Katherine, shouting back and forth their dislike of her.

Audrey was silent, watching Jon.

His hands trembled and he held them together tightly to get them to stop shaking. A vein running along his temple stood out prominently.

"All right," she said, clapping her hands to get their attention. Her tone was sharp and firm. "We are done for the day."

The siblings froze in their rants, looked at her in surprise, then turned their focus to Jon. Their father was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and a hand over his mouth. His brow was furrowed and his eyes angry.

"This is too much," Audrey told them before anyone could protest. She looked at Shawn. "We can come back but we are done for today."

Shawn nodded without saying anything, concerned about Jon's health. Julia fell silent and sat next to their father, wrapping her arms around him.

Audrey got up and went to the door where she grabbed their jackets and held them out to her family.

"Let's go."

Topanga receives a text from Katherine that frustrates Cory. Jon and Audrey return to the apartment with their oldest children. And what Eli finds in the trash at his place angers him greatly.

Information regarding the treatment of bulimia in 1995 comes from the New York Times article Eating Disorder Rates Surprise the Experts by Daniel Goleman, October 4th, 1995.

The book mentioned in this chapter is not real. It is, however, based on the real book "Little Girls in Pretty Boxes" by Joan Ryan.

This chapter references the short story Birthday Wishes & Valentine Kisses. It also refers to the flashback Keys (The Return and Flashbacks).

The upcoming chapters will be heavy and pull from my personal experiences. To avoid getting to weighed down, I often work on Birthday Wishes and illustrations. Updates on AiP once a month for sure. Twice if at all possible.

Many thanks to everyone reading this. I truly appreciate you spending time with me. If you're still here at the end of this chapter, thank you. If you're continuing this story with me, thank you. If you're not, I understand. Thank you for being with me this long.

I'd love to connect in any way you feel comfortable.

See you soon.