There were few things in life that made the Captain angry more than Agent Four.
But this albatross was really starting to get on her nerves.
"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!"
Captain tried to ignore the bird and continue eating her eggs and toast, but to no avail.
"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!"
She gripped her fork tightly in anger, her fist shaking and her teeth grinding each other. Her face turned bright red as she whipped around to face the albatross.
"SHUT UP, YOU STUPID BIRD!" She yelled, waving her fork threateningly. "IF YOU SQUAWK ONE MORE TIME I'LL EAT YOU FOR DINNER!"
The albatross cocked its head at the Captain, looking at her as if she was speaking in a foreign language. With a shake of its head, it flew over the Captain, knocking down several kitchen utilities in an attempt to make it out the window. It was successful, but not before it released its feces on the Captain's head.
Captain was speechless as she watched the bird fly off into the bright blue sky. Callie rushed into the kitchen to see her beloved albatross leave her forever.
"No! Four, come back! It's only been three day-ay-ay-ays!" Callie called out, trying to hold back tears.
"Thanks be to Cod, that bird was getting annoying."
"You hate fun!"
Marie, Eight, and Three came out of their respective rooms to observe the commotion. They laughed at Captain's predicament, as the bird poop was still covering her head.
Acting like the laughs didn't affect her, the Captain put on a confident look and addressed the Squidbeak as a whole. "I'm going to take a shower. When I'm done, you all better be ready for training."
"Yes, Captain." The Squidbeak chorused as she strutted away towards the bathroom.
Not a minute had passed before a letter was slipped under the door in an envelope. Marie looked out the window but saw nobody there except the mailman. Three picked up the letter and opened it. She briefly scanned it over before reading out loud.
"Dear Squidbeak,
Things have been really boring as of recently. Would anyone mind if I joined Octavio? He seems like a pretty nice guy, and he promised me these cool sunglasses if I did.
Yours truly, Four."
The Squidbeak stood in silence as they pondered the meaning of Four's message.
"Don't tell me Four is actually considering joining Octavio." Callie groaned.
"FOUR IS CONSIDERING WHAT!?" Captain came rushing out of the bathroom, clad in a towel covering her body. She was dripping wet, having just gone in the shower.
"According to his letter," Three said, handing the paper to the Captain. "He was offered a spot in Octavio's little group."
"Wait, isn't Octavio on our side now?" Eight asked.
"I…think so?" Callie said. "I remember gramps saying something like that before. I haven't seen either of them in ages, so I wouldn't know."
"Well, I think that Four's fine." Captain said with a huff, shoving the paper back into Three's hands. "How does he get these letters to us anyway?"
Everyone in the Squidbeak shrugged. Captain sighed.
"I'm going to continue my shower."
"You have fun with that, Captain." Three said as she saluted. "I'll make sure to inspect everything about this mysterious letter for you."
"Knock it off."
Nobody said a word as the Captain walked to the bathroom. Three looked at the note, noting that it was very soggy with Captain's blue ink all over it. Eight took it out of her hands and reread it. Her eyes scanned the words quickly before looking up at the other members.
"Sunglasses?" she said, confused.
Callie nodded. "Octavio tricked me into wearing a pair of sunglasses and I was hypnotized." She explained. "I don't know how they work, but I didn't remember a thing after I got them off."
"After you got them off?" Marie remarked. "If I remember correctly, it was me who knocked them off your face."
"You know what I mean!" She said indignantly. "Anyways, I hope that he doesn't accept the offer. If there even is an offer. Maybe we should tell him to come back…?"
"I'm sure he's fine," Three said, pushing her tentacles behind her head. "I think Callie just misses him a bit more than we do." She smirked.
Callie turned beet red in embarrassment. "Wha- I- do- wh-" she sputtered. "I'm t-telling you, I d-don't have a crush on Four!"
At that moment, the albatross that had flown away a few minutes prior had flown back through the window, crashing into the kitchen table. The bird looked at the Squidbeak and cawed loudly. Everyone but Callie groaned.
"DON'T TELL ME THAT STINKIN' BIRD IS BACK!" Captain yelled from the shower.
"Uh, no, it isn't Captain!" Three yelled back, trying to cover up the problems the bird had caused. "Back on topic, I really think that Callie is in love with our missing member."
Eight looked confused. "Why don't you just call him-"
Marie and Three waved their arms and covered their mouths in an attempt to stop her from finishing her sentence. The attempt was futile, however.
"Four?"
The bird cawed again, flying over to the door, where the Squidbeak was congregated. It landed on the floor next to Eight, which allowed the Squidbeak to get a better look at its face. The albatross sported a pair of black sunglasses, which were positioned on its beak as if it were a nose. The temples of the sunglasses were bent back around its head, allowing them to stay on.
"There is zero way this happened naturally," Eight said. "As far as I know, albatross can't wear sunglasses."
"This is no ordinary albatross," Three deadpanned. "As we have so clearly seen before."
"Even more so, albatrosses don't want to be domesticated." The octoling recalled. "This is truly a miracle in nature."
"Why can't miracles happen to other people? Why must we be stuck with this stupid albatross?" Marie complained.
A door behind them opened as the Captain exited the bathroom. "Please tell me you didn't do anything stupid-"
There was a brief moment of silence as the albatross and the Captain stared at each other. Captain was not about to lose a staring contest to a bird, but it was hard to look into the animal's eyes, as the sunglasses covered them. The albatross squawked at Captain and flapped its wings. Captain turned away in a mix of disgust and embarrassment, as she had lost a staring contest to a bird.
The Squidbeak doubled over laughing as Captain groaned. She cleared her throat loudly to silence the joyous girls.
"Calle, why is this stupid bird back?" She asked the idol.
"I- I- I dunno." Callie stammered.
The Captain turned to stare at the albatross, which was still wearing sunglasses. "Get. Out." She demanded.
'Four' squawked and flew out the open window, but not before it bumped into a cabinet. Callie started to sniffle a bit as she watched the bird fly high into the sky. Captain sighed in relief as she stood over the idol.
Three, Eight, and Marie were still laughing at the predicament Captain had found herself in previously, but were quieting down now that Captain was stomping towards them angrily.
"Do you girls have anything you need to tell me?" Captain demanded angrily, glaring at the three girls.
"No ma'am." They responded in unison.
"Good. NOW GET TO TRAINING!"