30 January 1989

"Don't you think you should say something?"

"About what?"

"You know about what."

Christina sighed inwardly and wished, not for the first time, that she had kept her big mouth shut. Ever since she had told Viv, the other woman had been on at her to make it official, something that she had no intention of doing given she wasn't even sure herself. "No, I'm not going to say anything."

"Chris…"

"Just leave it Viv, will you? What would be the point in saying anything?"

"The point…" Viv leaned forwards, "is that we're going to hopefully be arresting people. Putting hands on them, maybe getting into fights with them. You can't be doing that in your condition!"

"Keep your voice down!" Christina hissed, glancing behind her at the other members of relief milling around in the canteen. "There's no 'condition'. Not for definite anyway."

"No, but there might be and that's reason enough." Viv shook her head. "Don't you want this baby?"

Christina looked down at the floor, unsure of how exactly to answer her friend's question. In the wait for her exam result, the disappointment that had followed and then the frisson of tension that had gone around CID at the prospect of catching McDonald, the fact that she hadn't come on hadn't really been at the forefront of her mind. It had only hit her a few days earlier that her monthly, so usually like clockwork, hadn't appeared and, in a moment of female solidarity, and perhaps madness, she had confided her thoughts to Viv. Her feelings about the potential of motherhood seemed many and varied at the current moment. To be honest, in answer to her friend's question, she wasn't entirely sure that she did want the baby.

"It's not a question of not wanting it…"

"Then what is it a question of? You need to tell Burnside, Chris, you know you do."

"Even before I know for sure myself?"

"Yes! The minute an officer falls pregnant she has to be put on restricted duties, and that doesn't include going out on a job like this. You've already had one miscarriage. Do you want to have another one? Why won't you tell him?"

"Why do you think? The minute he finds out that I even think I might be pregnant, that's it. I might as well kiss my career in CID, and any chances of ever getting promoted, goodbye. He'll have me benched and then no doubt find some way to have me kicked back down to uniform, and I'm not going to give him the satisfaction!"

"So, you're going to play the martyr instead?" Viv shook her head. "Look, it isn't just all about you, is it? Say something goes wrong today and you end up unable to back one of us up, all because you didn't tell your boss you might be pregnant. How would that make you feel?"

"Are you trying to make me feel massively guilty here? Don't you think I have enough things to consider?"

Viv's expression softened, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to give you a hard time. I'm just trying to give you a dose of reality here. If you are pregnant, and you lose it because something happens on this operation, how will you feel?"

"I don't know," Christina replied, draining the remains of her coffee. "I don't know how I feel about anything right now."

XXXX

"You're confident about this information then?" Conway asked from behind his desk, his expression one of mild disbelief. "I mean, we don't want any cock ups like the last time."

"Well, it was hardly a cock up, sir. We got Fulton…in the end."

"I'm not talking about the building society raid, Frank, I'm talking about the fiasco involving the Drugs Squad."

"That wasn't our fault," Frank argued. "We got what we needed. If the judge wanted to give David Nelson a walk, then that's not down to us. The information was solid on that occasion and I'm confident it's solid now too."

"Coming from Tommy Fulton?"

"Exactly. He's got nothing to gain by giving us this and everything to lose. If McDonald finds out he tipped us the wink, it'll be lights out for poor Tommy."

"Or they could be in this together and be looking for a way to stitch you up."

"No sir," Frank shook his head. "When Chris and I met with Tommy, he was straight with us, genuine. He's worried about losing his wife and kids and he's resentful that McDonald's still out there living his life."

"Perhaps he should have thought about that before getting involved in these robberies." Conway shook his head. "How many bodies are you using?"

"All of CID and some uniform back up. Mr Brownlow gave the ok the other day when you were at Hendon."

"Yes, I know. Well then, I look forward to hearing news of your success, Frank. God knows you need it."

"Thank you, sir," Frank muttered before leaving the office and heading back downstairs to the briefing room where the troops were waiting. He was unwilling to admit that he too had had sleepless nights about the information, where it had come from, and how stupid they were all going to look if the job didn't go off. But, equally, how stupid would they all look if it did go off and they had done nothing? "Can't bloody win sometimes."

"Can't bloody win what?" Ted asked, coming up behind him as he reached the door.

"Oh, nothing. Just Conway giving me his usual pep talk. Is everyone ready?"

Ted nodded. "What time are we heading out?"

"In the next ten minutes, so let's look lively." He pushed open the door and stepped in amongst the noisy rabble of chatter and laughter that echoed around the room. There was a frisson of excitement in the air, one he couldn't help but subscribe to himself. Jobs like this were what it was all about. "Right then! Are you all fit?" There was a chorus of replies from around the room and he stepped over to the whiteboard where all the information for the job was laid out. "So, this is what we know. According to Fulton, McDonald and his crew are going to hit the City Bank on Barbour Street around ten o'clock this morning. Their aim, unsurprisingly, is to get as much ready cash as they can get their hands on and then be gone before anyone outside is any the wiser. Now, he's apparently got two other blokes running along with him. Martin Nicholls and Lloyd Vance."

"Do we know them Guv?" Tony piped up from the back of the room.

"Not personally, no. They've not previously been active on our ground, to our knowledge, but Fulton says that they're pretty experienced and will be tooled up, so we've got TSG on standby in Dalton Street, just in case we need them. So, Tony and Barry, Pete and Viv, I want you four keeping an eye on the alleyways behind the bank. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a second getaway car. Ted and Jim, you take the west side, Mike and Tosh, the east side and Chris and I will take the north side. That way, we've got every angle covered. Now, I want results on this one, so keep your eyes peeled, your ears open and your running shoes on. Got it? Right, that's it."

A flurry of activity started up again as everyone began to move towards the door and as he turned back to look at the board again for one final look, he was startled by Christina appearing at his side. "Problem?"

"Uh, well…"

"If you're about to drop some clanger on me that the Drugs Squad, or your husband, have an interest in any of this, then please don't bother. I don't want a repeat of last time."

"Oh, no…" her face flushed slightly, and she looked away. "No, it's nothing like that. I mean, as far as I know they…he…have no interest in any of this but…"

"Can you spit it out, whatever it is?" he interrupted her, growing weary of the procrastination. "It's almost eight-thirty and I want us in position by nine at the latest in case these slags are early."

"Well…"

He waited, watching her expectantly as she appeared to struggle with some sort of inner conflict, and was about to take her by both shoulders and shake whatever it was out of her, when June appeared on his other side.

"I'm sorry to interrupt sir, but…"

"Oh no, interrupt away! I have no idea what this one is wanting to apparently tell me, but it can't be that important given she seems incapable of getting her words out!" Christina blushed again and he shook his head, turning around to face the other woman. "What is it?"

"CPS are on the phone for you, sir."

"Brilliant, just what I need right now. Take a message and tell them that someone will call them back."

"They said it was urgent…"

"Well it's always urgent when they want it to be, isn't it? It's never urgent when we need a decision on something, and right now, I've got a job about to go off, so it'll have to wait." He turned back around to where Christina still stood behind him. "Are you fit or not?"

She nodded, "Yes Guv."

"Right then, let's go."

XXXX

The atmosphere in the car was tense and Christina wasn't sure if it was because of the operation itself, or because she had been completely incapable of relaying important news to him, albeit at a very late stage in proceedings. Having spoken to Viv, she had weighed everything up and had reached the conclusion that the other woman was right and that it wasn't fair to her or any of the others to keep her possible pregnancy a secret. She had been all set to tell Frank but, faced with him, she had lost her bottle. There had been something in the way he had looked at her that had made her resolve crumble. She wasn't entirely sure if it was fear of disappointment or simply fear itself, but June's timely intervention had brought a halt to any notion of spilling her guts, as it were. Besides, chances were, it was simply a false alarm.

"Do you know, I partnered up with you thinking that you might at least have had some decent conversation to pass the time," Frank broke into her thoughts. "I'd have been better going with one of the others, any of them. It's like a morgue in here."

"Sorry," she said automatically.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" he turned and looked at her. "You sure?"

She nodded, "Yes."

"So, what was it you were attempting to tell me earlier then?"

"It was nothing," she looked out of the window and down the street towards the front of the bank. "It doesn't matter."

"Well, it clearly did matter given that you were going to tell me right before we left to go on this obbo." He paused. "Everything all right at home is it?"

His question threw her, and she turned back to look at him, "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering if you'd gotten over your failure yet."

"Oh, that. Yeah, all forgotten."

"Liar. I bet you still think about it at least fifty percent of every day."

He was perceptive to the point of infuriation and Christina took a deep breath, unwilling to get into another debate about it with him. "Ok, yes I still think about it, but there's nothing I can do about it right now, is there?"

"No, there isn't. You and Stewart all right about it now?"

"Yeah, I suppose so. I just don't mention it. Seems safest."

"Not very nice though, is it, when the person who should support you the most seems pleased when you don't succeed?"

She turned to look at him again, imagining that she could see some sort of kinship in his expression, as though he had experienced something broadly similar in his own life. "No, it isn't."

"Still…you just have to pick yourself up and carry on, don't you? Not to mention remind yourself that perhaps their support isn't the be all and end all after all, right?" He looked at her meaningfully and she felt herself nodding. "Good."

Turning back to look out of the window, she wondered if that was why she felt so ambivalent about the possibility of having Stewart's child, the fact that he had shown that he really didn't support her in something she had considered to be so important. How was that meant to translate into harmonious parenting, perhaps the most important role of all? Curiosity piqued about her boss's own life however, she chose to push the thought from her mind. "You sound like you're speaking from experience, Guv."

"Maybe I am."

"Your ex-wife?"

He turned to look at her again, his eyes flickering over her face, as though he was sizing up whether to trust her or not. "Yeah," he replied after a long moment. "You could say that."

"She wasn't in the job then?"

"No, that was part of the problem."

"Only part?"

He smiled ruefully. "The one advantage of being married to another police officer, is that they understand what it's like. The shift work, the late hours, the overtime, the paperwork, not to mention the things you have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Regular civilians just don't understand that sort of thing. She didn't like the fact that she never knew where I was or who I was with, or what it was like to have close camaraderie with the people you worked with. Not the same if you're just in an office."

"No, I suppose not." She paused. "Is that why you separated?"

"Amongst other things." He shifted in his seat. "I was unfaithful." The revelation didn't surprise her, in fact, she would have been shocked had there been any other real reason, but good sense prevented her from reacting in the way that he probably expected her to. "Go on, say it."

"Say what?"

"Anything that moves, remember?"

She felt her cheeks redden at the memory of the conversation. In all honesty, her opinion on the subject hadn't really changed, but she couldn't help but feel regret at having said it. Beneath all the bluster, he was still a person with feelings. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"True though."

"If you say so."

"We were incompatible right from the start. It was never going to work. I don't think it came as any great surprise to anyone when it ended."

"Did you end it or did she?"

"She ended it and I suppose it was a relief all round. We can't all be lucky enough to meet our soulmates at, what, sixteen?" She nodded. "Sounds awful."

"It has its moments. He's all I've ever known. I suppose I can't really comprehend being with anybody else."

"In any way?"

She rolled her eyes at his insinuation, "I don't think that's really any of your business, Guv, do you?"

"No, I suppose not."

Silence descended in the car once again and she found herself poised to tell him her news. What was the worst that could happen after all? Yes, he would probably be angry, especially given her timing, but surely in the long run he would see that she had made the right choice. Viv had been right in what she had said. It wasn't just herself that she needed to think of. "Guv…"

"Yeah?"

"About what I was going to say earlier."

He looked over at her again. "What about it?"

"Well, I wanted to tell you that…"

"Burnside from Lines, over."

Frank grabbed the radio that was sitting on the dashboard, cutting off any opportunity for her to finish her sentence. "Go ahead Tosh."

"There's a blue Golf approaching from our side. Registration Sierra Delta Four Romeo Foxtrot November. It's going pretty slowly. Looks like the driver could be casing the place, over."

"Any other occupants?"

"Looks like two other males in the back, over."

"Right, this could be it!" he turned to her with a smile of triumphant expectation. "Whatever it is you were going to tell me, can it wait?"

"Yes Guv," she nodded wryly, the moment having long gone. "It can wait."

XXXX

Nothing felt better than a job that had gone to plan. Three arrests, money all safely returned to the bank and nobody hurt. As far as Frank was concerned, congratulations were due all round. It had gone off just as Tommy Fulton had predicted and as McDonald, Nicholls and Vance had emerged with their ill-gotten gains, they had been immediately pounced upon. None of them were particularly pleased to be in custody, but then nobody ever was.

"A good result then Frank," Conway said, coming into the custody area as the three prisoners were processed. "No bumps in the road."

"None at all, sir. Went off like a dream."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it. It'll be confessions all round then."

"Well, if it isn't, I'll be interested to hear their explanations. Being caught red-handed as they were."

"Well done."

"Thank you, sir." Frank turned around as Ted came up behind him. "A good result, Ted."

"Yeah, full marks for Fulton. Where do you want to start? McDonald?"

"No, I want to keep him until last. He knows the score and how to play the system. I want to have a crack at Nicholls and Vance first. They're unknown quantities and they might be willing to give something up to save their own skins."

"They might be as savvy as McDonald. There's no way this is their first job."

"No, but you never know." He glanced around. "You seen Madam anywhere?"

"Toilet, I think. I'm just going to grab a quick coffee then happy to start whenever you are."

"Ideal." He watched as Bob took the details of the last prisoner before propelling him across to the cells, just as Christina emerged from the toilets. "Thought you'd fallen down the bog."

"Sorry Guv."

"You all right?" he peered at her, noticing the flush on her face.

"Fine Guv, never better."

"I see…" he paused. "Womens' problems, is it?"

"Yes," she replied, a broad smile breaking out across her face. "Exactly that."

"Fine," he shook his head in mild confusion. "Take five for a coffee, then we're getting started, all right?"

"Absolutely." She grinned again and then hurried off along the corridor towards the canteen, leaving him pondering the mysteries of the female mind.

"Bonkers," he muttered to himself. "Bloody bonkers."