Morrigan returned to Redcliffe late in the afternoon, much to my lasting relief.
I was in the courtyard with Zevran, sparring with blunt weapons and sharp words. Of all of my companions, Zevran was the one who's fighting style was most like my own, but he wasn't ruled by Valour and it showed. He fought dirty. I pointed this out and he laughed, heartily.
"I fight to win, my dear Warden." He said. "Perhaps you might learn a thing or two."
"I can beat you without dirty tricks, Crow." I teased, with no real venom.
He shrugged, but there was a mischievous glint in his eyes that put me on my guard. He attacked, and I parried and made to strike back, but he dodged and all of a sudden I was blinded by a cloud of black dust. I coughed, staggering backwards, and somehow he was behind me. I tried to spin around to face him, but I felt my legs being swept out from under me and I landed hard on my front, still blinking the black powder out of my eyes.
"Ah...you were saying?" He grinned, reaching down to help me to my feet. I shook my `head, rubbing my watering eyes.
"What the fuck was that?" I asked, as my vision slowly cleared.
"That was you trying to beat me without dirty tricks."
"Yeah, you made your point. I mean what was that dust? It stings like a bitch."
"Ah, yes. It is a collection of Antivan spices, ground into a powder. In Antiva, we call it the notte improvvisa." He explained, handing me a water bladder. I accepted it, gratefully, splashing the cool water in my burning eyes.
"Nice move." I grinned, handing the bladder back to him. "Notte improvvisa…" I repeated, scouring my loose vocabulary of Italian. "Improvised night?" I guessed.
"Almost. The true translation would be closer to 'the sudden night'."
"You Antivans sure do love your poetry." I grinned.
"Of course. After women and wine, there are few greater uses for a man's tongue than poetry."
"You'll have to recite some for me some time." I grinned.
"You might enjoy my tongue more in other ways...should you tire of Alistair." He purred, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I threw him a look that let him know I wasn't about to dignify that with a response, and he chuckled, flourishing his daggers. "For now, we shall create poetry with our blades."
I started to mimic his combative stance when a flash of black and purple caught my eye across the courtyard.
"Later." I said, shortly, handing him my training blades and brushing past him. "Get Grayson. Let him know Morrigan's back."
I strode across the empty courtyard to where the witch stood, watching me with a thoroughly sour expression on her face.
"You found them?" I asked, urgently, ignoring the narrowing of her eyes and the pursing of her lips.
"Of course." She replied, tersely. "They are on their way home as we speak."
"Good." I reached out, squeezing her shoulder. She flinched at the contact, but the steel in her eyes was tempered with surprise. "Thank you, Morrigan. Really. You don't know how grateful I am to you."
"I...yes, well, perhaps the next time you seek my aid you might do so in a less petulant manner." She said, raising her chin proudly. "I do not appreciate being ordered around by a child. I do not serve you, Grey Warden, lest you have forgotten."
"You've been practising that since before you left, haven't you?" I grinned. She visibly smouldered at my flippant response, and I forced the smile from my face. "Look...you're right. I was out of line. I panicked and spoke without thinking. I shouldn't have done that, especially not in front of the men. You're my friend, and I didn't speak to you like one. Do you accept my apology?"
"Well, I might, but I am yet to hear one." She sniffed.
"I'm sorry." I said, sincerely. "You must be hungry. Let's get you something to eat. Once you're rested, we're heading out again."
"I do not need to rest." She insisted. "I am not a Circle Mage."
I knew that she was making a dig at Wynne, but I didn't think now was an appropriate time to chastise her, so I let it slide.
"If you're sure." I shrugged. "I picked up some warmer clothes for you at the market, they're in your bedchambers. Who knows how long we'll be in the Frostbacks for."
Before she could respond, the sound of armoured boots alerted us to Grayson's approach. I half-turned to greet him and felt her stiffen slightly as he drew near. I cast her a sidelong glance, watching her face morph into an expression of practised indifference.
"You're back, then." Grayson said, gruffly. "How are you? I mean...did you…?"
"It is done." She said, coolly, turning back to me. "I will go and find something to eat."
"Meet us in the entrance hall when you're done." I said, patting her on the back as she left, sweeping past Grayson without so much as a glance. I watched him as he watched her go, with a pained expression on his face. "Not much for small talk, is she?"
"Not much for any kind of talk." He said, sadly, turning to me. "Not lately. Not to me, anyway."
"I'm guessing you two haven't worked out your differences yet, then?"
"It would be nice to know what our differences are. There's been no fight, no explanation, just...nothing." He muttered, kicking at a clump of weeds in frustration.
"Iced out." I nodded, sympathetically. "Have you tried talking to her?"
"Of course." He said, rubbing the back of his neck, thoughtfully. "Lauren...I know you offered and I said no, but...do you think you might try...don't tell her I asked you to, just…"
"I'll talk to her." I promised, clasping his shoulder. "I want you to be happy. If Morrigan makes you happy...I'll do whatever I can to help."
"Thanks, Kitten." He said, with a strained smile. "Happiness just seems a little far-fetched during a blight."
"Aye." I agreed. "It does. But if you can get even just a few, perfect moments...it makes everything else a little easier."
"Perfect moments?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Alistair's that good, is he?"
I slapped at his face, playfully, but he danced out of my reach, grinning.
"Come on. Let's get our things together. It's getting late. The sooner we head out, the better." He said, ushering me towards the castle.
Within an hour, the horses were saddled and our packs secured and we mulled around the entrance hall, waiting for Morrigan. To everyone's surprise, Wynne appeared to see us off, looking tired but miles better than she had the day before. She wasn't happy about having to stay behind, but even she couldn't deny it was for the best.
Now that we were ready to leave, I couldn't stand still. I was bristling with nervous energy. Teagan had come to see us off, and he was deep in conversation with Grayson and Alistair, but I couldn't concentrate on anything they were saying. I drifted away from the group and found myself at the entrance to the library, where Alistair and I had shared our first kiss all those weeks ago. Had it only been weeks? It had felt like a lifetime.
I strolled through the stacks, absent-mindedly running my leather-gloved fingers across the shelves.
I reached out for one of the dusty books with the intentions of skimming through it to keep my mind busy, but a huge spider crawled down the spine, almost touching my fingers, and I hissed, dropping the book with a thud and backing away. No demon, no darkspawn, no creature in this world had the ability to stop my heart quite like a spider. It stood shock still for a moment or two, before it started to scurry towards me. I let out an involuntary shriek as I tore towards the door, slamming it shut behind me. I leaned back against the solid wood, closing my eyes and taking a shaky breath.
"Lauren? Lauren!" Alistair came running towards me, followed by Grayson. "We heard you scream. What is it? What's wrong?"
"In there. There's a giant spider." I said, trying to control my thundering heart. Alistair looked from me to Grayson to the door, frowning in confusion.
"How did it get in there?" He asked, scratching the back of his head.
"Well, I don't know, do I?"
He nodded, drawing his sword, and Grayson followed suit. I cocked my head to the side. Even I thought that the swords were overkill. Grayson wrenched the door open and Alistair side-stepped inside, his sword raised, looking around expectantly. I took several steps back, watching the two men from a safe vantage point.
"Do you see it?" I asked, anxiously.
Grayson dropped his sword arm, turning back to me.
"There's no spider in here."
"There is. It's the biggest spider I've ever seen. It attacked me."
"How big?" Alistair asked, still looking around, warily.
"It was like...the size of my hand. No exaggeration." I said, and he threw his head back in exasperation. The two men exchanged amused looks, sheathing their swords and turning to look at me.
"You said it was a giant spider." Grayson smirked.
"It was giant." I insisted, before realisation dawned on me. "Oh."
"Yes. Oh." Alistair strode over to me, his face breaking into an amused grin. "You didn't stop to wonder why we drew our swords?"
"Well...I did think it was a bit much." I replied, chewing my lip. "Sorry for the confusion. I just...I hate spiders."
"I know. I do too. Next time, maybe just avoid the word "giant"."
"Yep. Noted."
"Get it together, DuVal." Grayson grinned, ruffling my hair. I swatted his hand away, and he turned to Alistair. "I think she's gone soft."
"I think it's cute that you're afraid of spiders." Alistair grinned, boyishly.
"So cute." Grayson agreed, pinching my cheek, making cooing noises, which Alistair joined in with.
"I hate you both." I glowered as they erupted in fits of laughter.
"You love us, really." Grayson insisted, as we made our way back to the others.
"I tolerate you." I replied. "Sometimes, just barely."
"Is everything alright?" Leliana asked, looking concerned, as we approached.
"False alarm." I cut the others off before they could tell anyone what had happened. "No sign of Morrigan yet?"
"Grey Warden." Sten spoke before Leliana could reply and, unsure of who he was addressing, Alistair, Grayson and I looked round at him, but his eyes were trained on me. "I would speak with you."
"Uh...sure, Sten. What's on your mind?"
"Your plan is still to stop the blight, if I am not mistaken."
"You're not." I confirmed, narrowing my eyes, trying to detect his tone, but it was almost impossible.
"Then tell me: do you intend to go north until it becomes south and attack the Archdemon from the rear?"
"Huh?" I asked, frowning in confusion. This conversation was starting to ring a bell...or an alarm. But it shouldn't be taking place here, and it shouldn't be with me.
"The Archdemon is our goal. And we are heading away from it. To find the charred remnants of a dead woman."
"I hardly think that's an appropriate way to describe Andraste's ash-" Leliana started, but Sten cut her off with a look.
"I will not simply follow in your shadow as you run from battle." Sten growled, his eyes boring into me.
"Who's running from battle?" Alistair demanded, moving to stand in front of me, defensively, but I blocked him with my arm, keeping my eyes on Sten's.
"You don't want to do this, Sten." I said, in a soft, dangerous voice.
"You are unfit to lead. I am taking command." He declared, as I was almost certain he would.
"But...I'm not even leading. Grayson's leading...not that I'm suggesting you take command from him, but let's just get that straight."
"I am Sten of the Beresaad. I see where the power lies, and it lies with you. These men follow you. And they should not." He said, and I noticed the fingers of his sword hand twitch, reflexively.
"I don't…" I turned to look at Alistair and Grayson in bewilderment, but they both looked as confused as I felt. "You know why we have to go to Haven. This isn't up for debate, Sten. This isn't a democracy."
"We will settle this, Warden." He growled, unsheathing Asala. I blinked at the huge, gleaming blade, and my reflection blinked back at me.
"I'm not fighting you. This is ridiculous." I said, shrilly. "There are enough men in Ferelden trying to kill me, you don't have to help them. Ask Zevran how that turned out for him."
"I would advise against it, my friend." Zevran said, eyeing the Qunari nervously. Sten ignored him.
"Defend yourself, Warden." He insisted.
Alistair and Grayson drew their blades, swiftly followed by Leliana and a reluctant Zevran. Sten didn't blink, nor act as if he had even noticed. He kept his eyes focused on me. I frowned up at him and saw no signs that he was backing down.
"Please don't do this." Wynne pleaded with both of us, shaking her head. "It is not worth it. And healing magic does not grow on trees."
"By Andraste, do not shed blood here." Teagan commanded, his face red with anger. "This place has seen enough bloodshed in recent weeks to last ten lifetimes."
"Put your weapons away." I said, quietly. When nobody moved, I glared at each of them in turn until eventually, I was rewarded by a chorus of blades being sheathed. "Alright, Sten. I accept your challenge. Outside."
"Are you mad?" Alistair hissed, his eyes wide with panic. "You can't fight Sten."
"I have to." I replied, leading the way out of the doors into the courtyard. "He won't walk away from this. Either I defend myself, or he kills me and takes command anyway. And by the way, since when was I in charge of anything?" When he didn't reply, I shook my head. "Whatever. I'll take one for the team."
"I don't like this." Grayson muttered. "You've seen him wield that thing. I've been grateful more than once that he's on our side."
"Well, if we want to keep him on our side, let's hope I don't die, hmm?" I replied, testily.
I stepped into the middle of the courtyard and drew my daggers, waiting for Sten to catch up to me. Alistair and Grayson still stood on either side of me and I looked at each of them in turn, pointedly, and they reluctantly took several steps back, watching me with trepidation.
I turned to face Sten as he approached and opened my mouth to discuss the terms of the engagement, but the second I was facing him Asala came soaring through the air towards my face and I bent over backwards, narrowly avoiding decapitation. I barely had time to recover when he swung the blade again, and I dived, rolling between his legs and rising to kick him hard in the small of the back. He staggered forwards, carried by his own weight, and I took the time to find my footing.
Alistair and Grayson were already yelling, but I blocked them out, focusing on the Qunari before me as he straightened up, bearing down on me again with another powerful attack. I was ready for him this time and I raised my daggers above my head, catching his blade and immediately regretting trying to block. I was strong, stronger than most of the men I had fought, but absorbing the shock of his attack was like trying to stop a freight train with my bare hands. The weight of it forced me to my knees, and I grunted with the effort it took to push him back, quickly rising to my feet and back-stepping, searching desperately for an opening.
He seemed almost impossible to beat. He was massive, incredibly powerful, and his aim was deadly. The only advantages I had over him were speed and flexibility, and I wasn't sure that would be enough. Besides which, I didn't want to kill him. I just wanted to incapacitate him. Somehow, killing him felt like it might be easier.
I dodged a few more of his attacks, each one closer than the last, but I was feinting, waiting until the last moment to dive or duck out of the way, trying to hide my true speed from him. I needed the element of surprise and I just hoped that he hadn't paid close enough attention to me in the past to know that I was hustling him.
He took another, almighty swing at my head and I chose my moment, sidestepping his attack easily. As I had hoped, he seemed caught off guard and while he was still bent over, before he could recover from his strike, I sheathed my daggers, kicking off of the ground and climbing up his back onto his shoulders. He roared, swatting at me, but his bulky armour restricted him. I wrapped my legs around his neck and squeezed. He grunted, throwing himself to the ground, slamming me into the dirt and almost winding me, but I held on, squeezing with all of my strength.
Again, he tried to swing Asala at me, but I was beyond his reach, and he roared in frustration.
"Do you yield?" I called, my voice shaking with effort.
He sat up and slammed me back down into the ground, and this time the breath was knocked out of my lungs and my grip on him loosened just enough for him to break free. He was on his feet in seconds, as I lay there, unable to breathe. He towered over me and held Asala above his head before bringing it down to pierce my chest. With all of my strength, I kicked him in the crotch, throwing him off-balance just long enough to roll out of the way and find my feet.
As I turned to face him, I was blinded by white-hot pain as his fist connected with the side my face. Blood sprayed from my mouth and a thousand tiny explosions appeared before my eyes, and I vaguely heard Alistair's voice, thunderous with rage, and I didn't have to look to know that he was being restrained.
I staggered away from the giant bearing down on me, stumbling and falling flat, scrambling to my feet as I drew my blades again. No sooner were they in my hands than Sten knocked them aside, sending them clattering to the ground. I swung a punch at him but it was like punching stone.
With one massive hand, he grabbed me by the throat and lifted me off the ground. His grip was vice-like, and I writhed and struggled in his grasp, clawing desperately at his hand, but I knew it was no use. I couldn't breathe. He was crushing my windpipe, squeezing the life out of me.
"Do you yield?" He growled. I opened my mouth to respond, but I had no air. The only thing that escaped my lips was a trickle of blood. "Do you yield?" He repeated, narrowing his eyes at me, confused by the defiance in my glare. "Grey Warden, I do not wish to kill you, but you leave me no choice."
As I felt the strength start to drain from my arms, a surge of white-hot rage rose up within me, and I grabbed a hold of his arm with both hands, using it as leverage to bring my knees up to my chest. I kicked out with both legs, catching him square in the face, too fast for him to dodge, and he stumbled backwards, releasing me.
I landed hard on the ground, gasping for air and clutching at my throat, spraying blood into the dirt as I coughed and spluttered, gulping in lungfuls of oxygen. I raised my head, with great effort, and caught sight of one of my daggers a few feet away. I started to drag myself across the ground towards it when a powerful kick to the stomach put me on my back. I lay there in Sten's shadow as he held Asala above my head. I coughed again, choking on my own blood.
"Yield, Warden." Sten commanded, and there was a pleading note in his voice. I closed my eyes, shaking my head. "I did not want it to end this way. You were basalit-an."
He raised the sword above his head and brought it down with all his might, as I had predicted he would. I rolled towards him at the last second, rising to one knee and using his own weight to send him flying over my shoulder to land on his back. Before he could recover, I stomped on his wrist with all of my strength, forcing him to release his grip on Asala, and I grabbed the hilt with both hands, kneeling on his chest and pressing the tip of the great blade to his throat.
"Do you...yield?" I panted, my voice rasping in my damaged throat. He stared at the blade in my hands, before lifting his gaze to meet my own.
"I yield." He said, almost gratefully. I nodded, dropping Asala on the ground beside him and sliding off of his chest, collapsing into the dirt.
"Good." I croaked, breathlessly. "I don't...want to...have this...conversation...again."
"Lauren!" Alistair and Grayson were by my side in a heartbeat, and I felt Sten stir beside me, joining the others as they looked down at me, and I saw Morrigan's concerned face among them. I wasn't sure at what point she had joined us, but judging by the look on her face nobody had explained to her what was going on. Alistair knelt beside me, cradling my head in his hands.
"Send for a healer." Grayson called to Teagan, and I shook my head, forcing myself into a sitting position.
"No." I rasped, massaging my neck. "I'm fine."
My jaw ached, and I could already feel swelling around my cheekbone. My knuckles throbbed from punching him and my throat burned, but I could walk.
"What? You're very clearly not fine." Alistair snapped, glaring up at Sten, anger doing very little to mask the fear in his voice. "You're coughing up blood."
"It's just...a flesh wound." I panted, grimacing as I forced myself to stand. "I'll be okay."
"Tell Master Dennet to stable the horses." Grayson turned to Leliana. "We'll be staying another night."
"No." I said, spitting blood into the dirt. "We're leaving now. We've wasted enough time."
"Oh, for goodness sake." Wynne exclaimed, nudging Alistair out of the way and taking my face in her hands, inspecting me. "Well, your jaw isn't broken…" She reached for my hand and I winced when her fingers grazed my tender knuckles. "Your hand is. Hold still. This will only take a moment."
"No, Wynne, you're still weak…" I started to protest, but she closed her eyes, muttering to herself as she found my pain and banished it. I was still a little sore when she opened her eyes again, and she shook her head, wearily.
"That will have to do, I'm afraid. It's all I have the strength for. You'll have a few days of discomfort, but the worst is healed."
"You shouldn't have done that." I said, regretfully, seeing the exhaustion on her face. "I'm sorry for giving you cause."
"Oh, I'll be okay. I have plenty of time to rest and recover. I'll feel a little better knowing that I haven't sent you off into the world with any broken bones." She said, with a strained smile. "Though I would prefer if you stayed a little longer."
"Wynne's right. You're not fit to go anywhere. We should stay, at least for tonight." Grayson said, imploringly, but I brushed him off, moving to collect my daggers from where they lay on the ground. I sheathed them and stood for a moment, eyes closed, taking a few, deep breaths, before turning back to the rest of the group. They were watching me, waiting. Waiting for what? Waiting for orders, I realised, with a start.
"Let's go, then." I muttered, hoarsely. Leliana, Zevran, Morrigan and Sten immediately filed out. Leliana gave me the briefest of hugs as she passed, Zevran nodded, respectfully, Morrigan eyed me, curiously, and Sten stopped in front of me.
"I was wrong, kadan. You are strong enough to lead us. You are basalit-an. I will follow you." He said, in a tone of voice that I hadn't heard him use before. I couldn't place it, at first, but I realised that it was respect. I nodded, and a silent understanding passed between us.
"Get the hounds. They're with the kennel-master. And be thankful that Larry wasn't here to see us fight." I said. He immediately left in the direction of the kennels, without question, and I knew then that he would never question me again.
"If it's all the same to you, I think I shall head back inside." Wynne said, a little breathlessly. "I think I should lie down. Stay safe, all of you. If any of you get yourselves killed or mortally wounded and I'm not there to help, I shall be very cross with you."
With the others out of earshot, Grayson and Alistair approached me. Grayson's arms were folded, and he was frowning in disapproval. Alistair just looked deeply concerned.
"This isn't smart, Lauren." Grayson said, with the air of an overprotective father.
"I agree." Alistair said, quickly. "Some of those blows were..."
I started to respond, to tell them that they were over-reacting, when I noticed that Grayson was sporting a split lip.
"What happened to you?" I asked, frowning. He pointed at Alistair, who shrugged.
"I thought Sten was going to kill you, and Grayson was holding me back." He said. "You'd have done the same thing for me. I hope." He added, as an afterthought.
"Good." I said. "Grayson should have held you back. You know the rules of single-combat. If you'd intervened, Sten would have lost all respect for me. And you might have lost your head."
"Rather me than you." He said, frowning.
"Don't be so dramatic." I replied. "I took a few knocks, but I've had worse."
"You were amazing." He said, snaking an arm around my waist and kissing the top of my head. "Really."
"I was lucky, mostly." I reasoned. "But come on, we're wasting daylight. Let's leave before anyone else tries to kill me."
We made our way towards the horses and, just before I mounted, I had a sudden thought.
"Oh, and Grayson?" I called, as loudly as my rasping voice would allow.
"Yeah?" He asked.
I heaved myself into the saddle and wheeled my horse around to face him.
"Don't ever call me soft again."
AN: Thank you to Kira Tamarion, for all of your feedback on this chapter.
Chapter 50, you guys! Please leave a review on this chapter, or even just on the story in general. 50 chapters feels like a milestone, it feels liks as good a time as any to reflect back. Do you have any favourite moments from the story so far? Is there anything you'd like to see more or less of?
I also mentioned that I had been toying with the idea of maybe doing a chapter from a different point of view, either that of one of the other characters, or just third person narration. Just for the hell of it. If that's something you'd like to see, let me know!