030 - On the merits of skinship

Mashu Kyrielight

Mashu Kyrielight is a weak woman, feeble minded and soft willed. There's no other possible explanation to how, in spite of all her intentions otherwise, she would end up sitting naked on Senpai's equally naked lap. And yet, here she is, desperately (naked) trying (and failing) to ignore the (naked) twin soft mounds against her back while her (naked) Senpai washes her hair.

Isn't running water supposed to be cold? Chilly, even? Why's she feeling so (naked) hot?

"I'm really jealous of your hair, you know? So smooth and silky…" Haku-Senpai hums contentedly, running her fingers through Mashu's hair( and causing a pleased thrill to run down her spine). "It's a real shame you keep it so short, I bet it would look gorgeous if you let it grow."

W–Well, maybe she could— No! Not the time! Leave these thoughts for a proper time, Mashu! And that means never! For now she should… she should misdirect! Talk about something else and distract Senpai before she starts wondering why the river is boiling up around them. She's inexperienced in such advanced conversation techniques, but she knows the theory well enough. Doctor Roman is very good at (making excuses) misdirection.

The important thing is to acknowledge the other's point as lightly as possible and then immediately switch to a different one.

"Do you really think so, Senpai? I don't give it any particular care." She gives a small shrug, only to realize far too late the risks such an action entails when you have the front of a naked woman pressed against your back. Freezing up at the (wonderful) (sinful) very distinct feeling of soft breasts grinding against one's bare skin, she can't help but start babbling. "I– I have to admit, I never really gave it much thought beyond basic grooming. Things like makeup and styling my hair and such aren't topics I've ever paid much attention to."

… That's not… That's not changing the topic. That's not changing the topic at all! Curse her dirty mind that cannot do anything right!

"Well, that's a travesty I cannot stand for. It's one thing if you like your style, because it's very cute." Haku-Senpai praises her with a casual ease that leaves Mashu flabbergasted. She could never be so daring herself in a thousand years! "But a choice only has meaning when there are other options to pick from! So we'll do some experimenting when we get back to Chaldea. I'm sure we'll find a style of three that you like, even if you end up saving them for special occasions."

Of course, Mashu's perverted and dirty mind goes straight to what such special occasions might entail, but she firmly refuses to entertain all that nonsense. Still… Senpai thinks she's c-cute, huh?

As a manufactured being, Mashu doesn't really take pride in her own appearance. It is, after all, due to the efforts and wisdom of others that she looks as she does. And yet… she can't help but fidget and feel a bit happy at Senpai's praise.

"Indeed!" A bombastic, cheerful voice makes itself known, announcing a newcomer. "Cuteness is a pretty girl's weapon, but style is a tool that works best when it's fine-tuned to each situation!"

Startled by the unexpected arrival, Mashu lets out a small 'eeep'. Arms rising to pointlessly try and cover up her breasts -they're underwater and can't be seen anyway- the Demi-Servant turns around towards the source, to find anaked Marie Antoinette standing by the shore without a care in the world, apparently absorbed on the process dipping a dainty toe into the water to test the temperature out.

"Hmmm… Colder than expected. I thought it would be warm like in a bath, how silly of me." She pokes her tongue out and raps her own head in a silly way before walking into the water as if her previous words didn't mean anything at all. "Luckily, Servants like us don't need to care for such things!"

"Ah… Marie-san?" Mashu asks hesitantly, suddenly feeling very conscious of her compromising position within Senpai's lap again. "What are you…"

"Hello! You were having a girl's talk, weren't you? My special senses were acting all tingly, so I simply had to join!" She explains with a smile as she gently wades her way to their side. Though, as she gets closer, her smile gradually loses a bit of its shine until she stops in front of them, a finger on the side of her lips as she tilts her head to the side. "That is, unless I'm interrupting something…?"

(Mashu immediately jumps at the chance of letting Marie-san know that yes, she's very much interrupting something and to please leave the two of them alone for a little bit longer. Five hours sound like a good compromise.)

For what might be the first time in her life, Mashu finds herself hesitating. There's no real reason to turn down Marie-san's presence, especially when she's obviously looking forward to it. And yet…

"Nothing we can't leave for later." Senpai speaks up first, waving Marie-san's polite worries away and easily solving Mashu's dilemma. "Please feel free to join in."

"Oh, it's going to be great! We can do each other's hair and talk about cute boys!" Marie claps her hands together, finding a seat by their side. "Or pretty girls! Girls are great too!"

"Errr…" Mashu trails off hesitantly.

"Yeah, girls are great too." Haku-Senpai doesn't seem to have the same problem, nodding earnestly at her words. "I knew you would be a fellow individual of culture, My Queen!"

"Please, I'm no queen right now. As a Servant, my rule has ended. And my mortal self hasn't even been born at this point in time, so that doesn't work either!"

Much to Mashu's incredulity, the conversation between a legendary queen, a humble homunculus borrowing the power of a Round Table Knight and the Last Master of Humanity indeed progresses along the lines of what could be called 'girl's talk'. At least, along the lines of what she assumes this whole 'girl's talk' thing is supposed to be about, it's not like she's had any real experience before today.

It's… it's sort of nice? Very embarrassing, for reasons that go beyond the rather intense intimacy involved, but nice all the same. Maybe the Lad– No, she wants to be called 'Olga' when they're in private. Maybe Olga would like to have some 'girl's talk' with her in the future, too?

At some point, a very subdued-looking saintess and a considerably less-subdued dragon girl join them in the water, dragged in by the big breasted maid. And Leysritt-san's already generous breasts somehow look even bigger when they're unburdened by clothing. It's kind of fascinating, in a guilty, 'I shouldn't be watching' kind of way.

It also presents interesting questions about the ones responsible for her appearance, since she's a manufactured being too.

They are only missing Bonaparte-san and Sella-san. Bonaparte-san because he claimed to be 'too fond of keeping his skin unflayed to sniff around that forbidden paradise' and Sella-san because, according to Leyritt-san, she was 'a stick in the mud who still hasn't learned how to enjoy herself'.

Mashu understood maybe a third of that, but didn't sound like it would cause trouble, so she put it out of her mind to focus back on the girl's talk.

At some point, she utterly lost track of time. It might've been while she was wistfully listening to the others speak fondly of siblings and family. It might've been while she was covering her face with both hands, brain stalling in mortification and heart beating louder as the more… experienced in the group talked about things she had no idea about.

She only knows that the conversation had veered towards the topic of breasts. Things such as commenting on the merits and faults of different sizes, both aesthetic and practical, alongside tips, advice and… Well. Somehow, Sempai's hand is currently cupping one of Marie-san's breast and making appreciative noises while the (senpai-thieving hussy) servant smiles brightly.

(Mashu was feeling incredibly jealous.)

(Mashu couldn't wait for her turn.)

Mashu was starting to feel slightly worried about how the situation might further degrade from there when the sound of rustling leaves and branches drew everyone's attention to the forgotten shoreline.

Oh, thank goodness, that's one of the Dragon Witch's Berserker Servants! What a (disappointing interruption) perfect excuse to cut short—

"Ah… Am I interrupting something?" The not-very-Berserker-sounding woman asks in a hesitant voice, looking away with red-tinged cheeks. "I'm sorry, but we really need to talk "

"Sure, just jump in." Haku-Senpai casually invites the enemy Servant over. "The more the merrier!"

"That's not… Nevermind" Berserker Rider tries to protest, only to immediately catch herself and let out a small sigh. "I guess I don't have time to argue."

Elizabeth Bathory.

"This is surreal. I can't be the only one thinking this is surreal, right?" Elizabeth suddenly bursts once she cannot hold back anymore. "She's an enemy, right? Why are we just taking a bath and chatting together like this?"

To emphasize her point, she points a finger at Berserker Rider -that is, Saint Martha- who has joined them in the water. There they are, all naked and smiling, talking things out in the name of friendship or something. Just like something out of an idol song composed to inject some much-needed hope in the hearts of weary piggies slaving away their lives making money for black companies!

But these songs are just pretty lies, they are not real! She should know, she's an idol! She has songs like that too and she's never seen love and friendship win the day a single time in her entire life!

P-san and the airheaded queen have the gall to trade confused looks before looking at her like she's the one speaking nonsense here. She's not speaking nonsense! It's clearly everyone else who is wrong!

"Ah, Eli-chan is stressed out." The Big Breasted Super Maid comments casually, sliding closer to her. "Headpat, headpat."

That feels good… She's not in the mood for yelling anymore, the Super Maid Secret Techniques are way too scary… She'd still like to know what's going on, though.

"Well, she was ordered to chase us, but that deliciously thorny ashen rose seems to have… ah, failed to account for what would happen afterwards." The easily-amused queen with a short attention span explains with complex words that Elizabeth's half-mushed brain fails to understand. "In other words, Saint Martha here has no further orders and can act as she pleases."

Oh, that makes sense. Why didn't she say that from the start?

"Within limits. There are still some general orders in effect I simply cannot go against." Berserker Rider adds sheepishly. "Sweet goodness, just keeping the madness at bay is taking a lot out of me."

"Mad Enhancement be like that, yeah. How about making a contract, then?" P-san crosses her arms and nods sagely, before shifting her face into an incredibly scummy expression that makes Elizabeth think of overly-cutesy white and pink space rats, for some reason. "Ditch your current employer and join us. It's not like you have any beef with the destruction of France, I don't think."

"Thank you for your thoughtful proposal, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline." Berserker Rider shakes her head in denial. "Or rather, I'm not at liberty to accept. The Dragon Witch holds the reins of this contract with an iron grip and I don't have the means to break free on my own."

"Figured, but I had to offer at least." P-san shrugs before muttering something about needing witches to fight other witches that Elizabeth doesn't quite get.

Hmmm… Whazzat? Whatever, she's too busy enjoying her pats to ask.

"Hmm… Senpai? Could you repeat that?" What a convenient little piggy! Elizabeth will have to give her some pats as a reward. Later. When she's done receiving pats. "I'm afraid I missed it."

"Nevermind, I'm just missing an old… friend." P-san waves the question away with a wistful sigh. "Her expertise would've come handy about now."

"It is what it is. There's no point in crying about what-ifs." Berserker Rider replies stoically. How cool! It would be cooler if she wasn't naked, though. "In any case, my goal was to let you know about the situation here, so I have succeeded already."

Ah… that. Yes. Berserker Rider explained everything. And Elizabeth understood every last word, it would take a very special breed of idiot not to even understand spoken language, right? Hmmm… Pats are very nice, the only way it could be better would be—

Oh, Leysritt figured out what she was thinking about and anticipated her wishes, as expected of a Super Maid!

Boob pillows are the best, she's too relaxed to even feel jealous anymore.

"Alight, let's make sure we got everything right." P-san comes in clutch again, she should give that girl a raise. "The other Jeanne's trump card is none other than Fafnir itself, the invulnerable dragon from Norse Myth. The Grail summoned Siegfried as a counterbalance for its presence, but Jeanne hunted him down and ultracursed him to kingdom come."

"I… Wouldn't have quite put it like that." Berserker Rider points out with a small wince. "But it remains mostly correct."

"He survived somehow though, and you found a gap in your orders to help him hide away." P-san continues her abridged recap. "We should go find him since Fafnir is a gimmick boss and we can't win without the type advantage."

Ah, so that's what happened! You can always count on P-san to explain everything nice and simple to understand! For some reason, Berserker Rider is making a difficult face, though. Must be the Mad Enhancement, she sure has it tought.

"I'm… Willing to believe you got everything right." Berserker Rider finally says in an uncertain tone. Could it be that… she didn't understand a word of what P-san said? Eeeh!? No way! Even a little kid could understand P-san's explanations! "Now, about my other request?"

"Sure, we should be getting out before we catch a cold, anyway." P-san acquiesces with a sigh. "Just… let us get dressed and we'll start immediately."

These words mark the end of the headpats and the boob pillow, which sucks. But then it's time to fight Berserker Rider in just the way Elizabeth likes! That is to say, unfair and seven-to-one in her favor! The only sore point was that it made Berserker Rider look like the heroine and Elizabeth as the villain. But she died quickly, so the feeling didn't last long.

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