Chapter 30:
Finn the King woke up with a yawn and a smile. The family had enjoyed a delightful evening. He'd twirled Breezy, Simone, Cherry, and even Connie the Engagement Ring Princess around the dance floor. He'd spent hours chatting with Breezy's kids, and they'd retired late into the night when they'd were just too sleepy to keep going.
"Finn," sighed Simone. "Mornin', babe," Finn replied. "You're in a chipper mood," Cherry yawned. "Yeah," the big man chuckled. "Can't wait to get rolling."
Having watched her husband spend the entire journey exchanging messages with Star and digging into what the water-nymphs were up to, Simone was delighted to see the change. It seemed even the sight of another pack of schemers in Breezy's reception hall hadn't been able to kill his good mood. He was almost the same man that she'd married—easily able to course-correct in spite of whatever ugliness he'd just witnessed.
Climbing out of bed, the trio took turns in the shower, with Finn going first to get out of his wives' way, so they could put their best foot forward. Then, while they put on their faces and looked over the gowns they planned to wear, Finn himself carefully shaved, brushed his teeth, and combed his hair.
The trio had breakfast sitting in the altogether so as to avoid spilling any food on their clothing. Though Finn was supposed to wear three different suits today for various aspects of the ceremony, it wouldn't do to start out with a stain on his pants or jacket.
As the big man was working on tying his tie for the fifth time, in an effort to get it just right, knocking at the door announced a visitor. After checking to make sure that Cherry and Simone were decent, Finn responded, "come in!"
No sooner had he done so, than one of the palace's many functionaries strode in, wearing a thunderous expression. At his back in the hall, Finn spotted several guards. While he was due an escort, something felt off about this.
Laying the tie aside, the big man greeted the toady with, "can I help you?" "I'm Minister Porter," the bee-person responded. "I'm the subordinate of the Prime Minister..."
Finn's eyes narrowed. He vaguely remembered that the Prime Minister was... "...John Hammond wishes to speak with you urgently," the stranger declared.
Sticking her head into the little sitting room, Cherry declared, "the Prime Minister can come here to meet with the King of Ooo..." The stranger glanced at Finn, who calmly confirmed, "what she said..."
The stuffy bee-person stared at him and stammered for several minutes. Finn merely returned to the job of putting on his tie.
So involved did he get with the struggle to get the tie on just right that he more or less forgot the other man was there. When he'd finished, he looked up in some surprise to find the stranger still there and staring at him. "Running out of time," Finn remarked. "I... you... the Prime Minister," the official stammered.
Stepping out of the room, Simone declared, "it must not be that important, if you refuse to carry my husband's message to your master."
The stranger's jaw worked for several moments. It was plain as the nose on his face that he hadn't thought so far ahead as to figure out what to do if Finn refused to walk into whatever trap his master had in mind.
Primly, the official declared, "the council is meeting... this very hour. They will decide the matter of this... courtship." Frowning, Finn responded, "that's already..." "Good day," the official retorted, as he spun on his heel and stalked out.
"Figures they're up to something," the big man muttered. "The question is 'what'," Simone replied. "Let's finish getting ready," Cherry declared. "Then we'll call Marshall and Connie."
Almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth, the two named individuals strode into the room. At their back was one of the wives of the councilors.
"Mrs. Mogg," Simone greeted her. "Your Highness," Corrine Mogg responded. Cutting through that, Marshall declared, "some crooks out of Warrior Kingdom leaned on her husband last night. They want him to vote for something that some donkus named John Hammond is doing."
Slipping on his jacket, Finn growled, "I think it's time we had a chat." With the family in the hall, Finn drew his phone and tapped one of the speed-dial numbers.
"Colonel," the big man rumbled. "Please send one-thousand soldiers from Warrior Kingdom to the bee-kingdom. Yeah, stop at the border, right in view of the borderguard."
With that, Finn hung up. Shaking his head and muttering curses, the big man stepped off. Behind him, Marshall mused, "wonder who'll get his head beat in today?" Connie shushed him, saying, "don't even joke about that!"
Arriving at the council's chambers, they found the Prime Minister standing at the podium in front of the Queen's seat, railing on the Queen herself. His face was red and his expression furious. This real, or is he the kind who gets easily worked up by his own bullshit, Marshall thought?
At the sight of Finn, the fat bee-person snarled, "and here he is! This sick bastard who molests his own children intends to marry into control of our kingdom's royal family!"
Every face turned to the King of Ooo. "Huh," Finn rumbled. "Somebody's telling lies about me." Striding forward, he went straight past the apoplectic prime minister and sat himself in the chair beside Breezy.
Murmurs of shock greeted that gesture. Leaning his head on his hand as if in boredom, Finn motioned for the fat blowhard to continue, saying, "you have something to tell me, Mr. Hammond. I'm here."
"How dare you," snarled John Hammond?! "Guards!" The men gathered around the perimeter of the room moved not a muscle. Several of them were staring at the two figures at the back of the room. Marshall remarked, "just waiting on what you have to say..."
Finn cleared his throat, returning their attention to him. "I could simply order you to be killed, Mr. Hammond," the King declared. "I could have every man in this room put to death. I could do it myself before you could even blink... but I'm being polite. Why don't you tell me what the problem is?"
The hostile noble took the packet of papers he carried and hurled it at Finn's feet. "Pick it up, Mr. Hammond," Finn commanded. "That isn't how you behave in the King's presence."
The Prime Minister stood there staring, his mouth working. "Pick up that packet, Mr. Hammond," Finn commanded, "or..."
With a growl of impotent rage, the leader of the Hammond Clan stooped and gathered the documents, wrapping them up in a piece of newspaper. Rather than hand them to Finn, he put them back on the podium.
"You're disturbing the peace of my morning," Finn rumbled. Taking the Queen Bee's hand, the big man twined his fingers with hers. "You're disturbing the Queen's morning as well. I'd like to hear an apology..."
"You'll get none from me," John Hammond snarled. "Guards," Finn rumbled. "Please take the Prime Minister to the dungeon. Secure him inside until after the wedding. We'll consider what to do afterwards."
The fat bee's eyes flicked to the soldiers—his soldiers—who stood at the room's corners. "I won't ask again," Finn declared. "I'll be telling you—or your replacements. It's a privilege to guard the council chambers, after all."
The implied threat seemed to get through to the leader of the soldiers. Stepping forward, he leveled his spear at John Hammond. Momentarily, the rest of the soldiers came off the fence. The impertinent prime minister found himself wearing unfashionable iron shackles as he was lead from the room.
Gesturing to Cherry, Finn said, "Your Highness, please come forward." Heels click-clacking on the hardwood floor, the Mafia Princess sauntered up to the podium. The King of Ooo commanded, "please repeat the things you told me last night..."
Turning to face the gathered nobles, the little candy person declared, "there is crime and there is crime against the natural laws. Recently, it has come to my attention that some unknown person has been skimming supplies of the Bee Kingdom's prize honey. This person has caused the stolen honey to be distilled down to a form so potent that it is sufficient to stop the heart of someone who ingests it..."
Those words had the gathered nobles sitting up and taking notice. With a nod to His Majesty, the Mafia Princess declared, "this is Unsanctioned by the Lords of the Underworld. Drugs so strong as to kill the unwary are not accepted."
Rising, Curtis Howard demanded, "and what has this to do with the matter before us?" In icy tones, the Ice Queen declared, "the matter before us is the issue of poison honey going out into the world of the wingless. The Crown of Ooo has placed a price on the head of the one who's responsible. We'd intended to discuss this matter at another occasion, rather than disrupt the wedding proceedings. However, there seems to be someone attempting to disturb the Peace of Ooo."
As if on cue, Cherry declared, "a man named Lothair Böhm is believed to be in the Bee Kingdom. He entered alongside many other uninvited guests. We believe that he's behind the stirring up of the current troubles, and he is also responsible for distributing the corrupted honey."
Corrine Mogg announced, "men came to my husband last night... They were out of Warrior Kingdom to our northwest. They threatened our family with the loss of our property and livelihood and even suggested threats against our persons. In exchange, they sought to have our vote for expelling the King of Ooo from this kingdom and the dissolution of the Great Honey Cooperative."
Finn took note of the pale faces that greeted those words. As he'd suspected when he heard this woman's words, pretty much every face in that crowd had either been approached or were willing members of the scheme. It was time to close things down—for now.
"There's several thousand soldiers on their way here," the King declared. He might have been suggesting there were rain-clouds on the horizon.
In cool tones, the big man declared, "the borders of the Bee Kingdom will be sealed. My soldiers will be waiting at the official entries. Every person who was not invited for the wedding today or who is not an official member of the Cooperative is to be arrested, interrogated, and handed over to my soldiers."
His eyes studied the faces there, especially that of Mrs. Hammond. She and her husband had substantial lands on the border. It was quite possible for her to help those men escape. So how you gonna' play it, he thought?
Her expression was one of cold fury. He could almost feel the rage. Things Breezy had let slip suggested she had more in common with the carnivorous spiders that once tried to eat him than the normal bee-peeps.
"I think this meeting may be adjourned," the King declared. Turning to his bride, he asked, "don't you, dearest?" "Y-yes," Breezy responded! "Yes! Meeting adjourned! Let's... Let's all go to the ceremony as planned!"
Rising, the big man strode down off the dais. Passing the hapless official who'd worked for John Hammond, he announced, "have former Prime Minister Hammond savagely beaten. Fifty lashes should be enough. Make sure the man with the whip has a strong back and arms."
In spite of the provocation, the Missus made no move at all, as Finn and Cherry crossed the room to the door. Yup, thought Finn. He's a pawn to her—nothing more. He'd have to remember that.
On the far side of the ocean, Red Kate climbed out of bed, fumbling for the robe on the chair. The accommodations were pretty snazzy—maybe better than her apartment at home. The only thing that would've made them better was to have her boyfriend here in bed with her.
With the treatment holding the thing in his head in check, Billy was working harder than ever on the humans' encampment to the north. When he wasn't doing that, he was checking in with the others back in the east, trying to maintain marriages that were politically crucial as much as they were emotionally important.
It took two tries to fumble on the robe, as the plump woman made the rushed journey to the toilet. She barely made it, offloading yesterday's feast almost as quickly as it had gone down.
Why did it have to go that way? If women had to be pregnant—to nurture life—why did it have to do these things to them?
The noise finally got Cameron out of bed. The little bitch had the beginnings of a paunch. Though she was showing, an oblivious Billy scarcely noticed. He was running hell-for-leather and seemingly going nowhere.
Don't think of it that way, Kate chided herself. Things were improving. With Whiskey Pete dead and finally buried, there was nobody in the way of her water-project.
With the Crown's backing, she had access to cement and iron to build the pipes to carry river-water to her town. That would let her wean her people off of drink.
It was the slow-business of building. Stilt Town hadn't arisen overnight, and it wouldn't improve itself overnight either. Only now, she didn't have to feel overwhelmed and under constant siege.
"Better," Cameron asked? The pirate lord replied, "not sure why you're not going through this, 'Sugar-Snatch'."
Refusing to rise to the bait, Cameron muzzily burbled, "do we have to go back?" Kate chuckled. It wasn't as though staying had meaning, since Billy wasn't going to be here.
Their boyfriend was headed north to work on the colony on the shore of the great lake. Then, he was off to collect Number Six. The witch had business in the Grid-Face People's archives, hunting for dangerous things that were better left buried.
"We have a town to raise," Kate reminded her impertinent lieutenant. The nymph flushed. Though she'd had little choice in the matter, she'd done a lot of damage while Kate was a captive.
"Remember," Kate rumbled. "Yeah, yeah," Cameron muttered, "we help him the most, when we do our piece. I got it."
Like Kate, Cameron had gotten the lecture. The better they managed their responsibilities, the less Billy had to run. The less he had to run, the more time he had to spend on them.
"We have an hour to clean up before that flying machine leaves," Kate sighed. "You can go first."
Elsewhere, Fionna the Human yawned and stretched, nearly causing her heavy right knocker to come flopping out of the nightgown she was half-wearing. It was a slovenly look that reminded Shoko of the 'old days', when Shoko's mom had lectured Fionna about her appearance during a sleepover.
The more things change..., thought the elemental. Twelve-year-old Fionna had reacted not at all well to Bonnibel Bubblegum's lecturing.
"So...," Fionna murmured. "I still don't understand how it didn't kill him," Maja muttered. "It's simple, M's," the bad bunny responded, "neither daddy or I ever had it so bad that we needed it."
Resting her chin on the palm of her hand, Fi explained, "mom made daddy get a day-job. No more goin' dungeon-diving. At the same time, Shoko's mom started grabbin' up land with her machines and stuff, so the monsters and what-not got pushed further and further away. Daddy never really had to work all that hard after I got born."
"But...," Maja stammered. "That's not how it works! You're... you're not supposed to resist the Quicksilver Curse!" "You're not supposed to survive having a cursed sword grafted to your arm either," Shoko muttered.
"If daddy was the kind of guy who just did dumb stuff all the time, I wouldn't have gotten born, and pr'olly Billy wouldn't have either," Fionna declared. "Mom would probably be crazy as a loon, and we'd have had dueling Ice Kingdoms, with the poor normies caught in the middle."
With a sigh, Shoko rumbled, "but it leaves her with a problem, Fi. There's no special property that you have that makes you immune from over-using the Curse and checking out. It's... the only thing keeping you here in this world is the fact that you're a Crystal Fiend and your own willpower."
Fionna's cute nose wrinkled at being called a fiend. Still, she said, "have you tried looking around in the library in Wiz City? Mom gave you a pass..."
The witch glanced away. She clearly didn't like going there. Fionna went hard at her, remarking, "that's on you, M's. Mom doesn't need something to hold over your head. She doesn't need a favor. If anything, she'd probably be happy if she knew what you were working on."
Piling on, Shoko added, "do you have to carry everything yourself?" When the witch glared at her, the elemental responded, "I tried that, Maja. I think everybody in the family's tried carrying their burdens alone at least once and some of us were so hard-headed we did it a few more times than that. It ends in failure Every. Single. Time."
The witch flushed and glanced away, her dark eyes showing the pain she was desperately trying to hide. Changing the subject, Fionna sighed, "I have to go back west. The T-Barrier's up down here, so cow-tits is off my back. Now, I can focus on the colony."
"What's the plan," Shoko queried? "Diggin' up rock," Fi responded. "There's some good rock near the colony. We're gonna' grab some and ship it down the river for the folks in Tequila Kingdom to buy. We'll ship some of the good stuff over with the Grid-Face peeps to sell here in the east. A lot of it'll go to building up the town. And... when I'm not doing that, I gotta lay out the nodes for the T-Barrier over there."
"Sounds like you're all full up," Shoko remarked. "Tell me about it," Fionna retorted. "Only good thing is I get to see Patrick and my kids."
"Well, I'm taking a vacation," Shoko announced. When the witch glared at her, she said, "until you have an idea of what it is you need me to do, I'm going to see my own husband and kids."
Resting a hand on Maja's wrist, Fionna murmured, "go to the library, M's. That fat asshole maybe left some notes in there. Maybe you can find something. I'd... kind of like the answer too."
The witch's face went red hot, and her face whipped around to find Fionna's misty grey eyes gazing back steadily. In tones that spoke of worry and serenity both, the tall blonde declared, "Star didn't have it until she did. Mom thinks she burned up the curse, but I sometimes wonder."
Slowly, the witch nodded. With a grin, Fionna said, "I can owe you for once." Maja cussed her, but there was no heat in her words.
Late in the day, Finn the King stepped into the suite he was sharing with Simone and Cherry wearing a smile a mile wide. The ceremony had been the sort of brief that told that Breezy got him. Even with Nadia's nano-whatsits in his skull, he wasn't good with long, drawn out affairs like the typical wedding.
More to the point, with his marriage to Breezy complete, they could move past all the political complications and get down to the business of raising their daughter. The council wouldn't be bullying Whisper the way they'd bullied Aerwin and Naome.
Slipping his tie off, the big man glanced down to find the documents that John Hammond had tried bullying him with. He hadn't taken any time at all looking through them.
Should I, he wondered? That fat fuck had believed those papers were enough to wreck all the work Finn and Connie had done to build the Honey Cooperative. Though Finn thought him a blowhard and a fool, he couldn't help but wonder.
Simone Mertens limped up to her family's suite in a mood to simply crash. Though they'd sort of planned this night as one where all three ladies could get some, she didn't think anybody was really feeling it today. Between her aching feet, Cherry's sore throat, and Breezy's case of the nerves, all she really hoped for was a good night's sleep!
Unfortunately, as she approached the door to the suite, the sounds of her husband's angst put paid to the idea that they'd be sleeping soundly.
"No, no, no, no," howled Finn! Accelerating—at least trying to—Simone rushed forward into the suite's open doorway. She found Finn pulling at his hair as he stared at a newspaper of all things.
As she crossed the room, Simone demanded, "what's happened?" Finn shoved the newspaper in her face.
When her eyes had uncrossed, so she could read, the Ice Queen goggled at the headline she was presented with. "S-starchy," she howled?!
"Yeah," Finn growled! "That fucking guy just screwed Riley's girls!" It was a cinch that Gordon Wells–and by extension, Gumbald–would soon know about the women who'd been instrumental in protecting him when he was on the run. Shortly thereafter, people he cared about might start dying.
Drawing her phone, Simone speed-dialed Cherry and urged her to come back to the suite as soon as she could shake free. In the mean-time, she turned back to Finn for the back-story.
"Found that in the packet that asshole was trying to use to frame me up," Finn explained. "Saw it on the table, when I got back here, and figured I ought to at least glance at it." "And you saw that," Simone surmised.
Nodding, Finn muttered, "there's... there's some sick shit in there. I figure they made most of it up, but that..." "They probably spiced it up with enough true things that could be verified that the rest would just be taken for unverified truth," Simone murmured.
In uneasy tones, Simone murmured, "why would Starchy print something like this? He's... He ate at our house..." "Somebody put him up to it," Finn responded.
Glancing up, Simone murmured, "Gumbald? Wells?" "They would've just grabbed them," Finn replied. "It's somebody who hates me enough to want to fuck over people who're just near me..." Unfortunately, that covered quite a lot of ground.
"That paper came out yesterday," Finn sighed. "We... we gotta' get back to the Candy Kingdom. We gotta' get this sorted before it goes out of control."
"No," Cherry interrupted. "We go on as before. I'll make some phone calls. The woman who runs that club pays street-tax. Nobody's going in there without my permission."
Part of Finn was disturbed that Cherry's dudes were leaning on Velvet and the girls at the strip-club. On the flipside of the coin, the Banana Guard couldn't afford to have a detail down at the club indefinitely. Finn wasn't even sure it was legit to give them the orders.
He could explain away Charlie, Viola, and Lady as members of the family. He couldn't say the same for Riley's dancers. It's going to save them from maybe getting killed, Finn decided. You don't have to like it.
"Ok," he said. "We'll go through with the visit just as we'd planned." Nodding, Cherry said, "I want to leave Breezy with some protection. I don't like what those idiots just tried to do." "Ok," Finn agreed. "We'll work something out."
"I... know a man," the gangster rumbled. "He's not a good man, but he knows better than to screw with me. He'll..." "I don't want to know who he is or where he comes from," Finn interrupted. His blue eyes burned into Cherry's as he declared, "if you say you have power over him, that's enough."
Shocking him, the little woman bowed deeply. It was so sudden, it left him staring. "I'm your wife," Cherry opined, "but I'm also your servant, King of Ooo. You should expect me to observe the forms, when we're acting in our roles..."
The big man seemed to ponder that for a moment. Before Simone's eyes, a change swept over him, causing him to relax minutely. "You have my thanks," Finn declared. It was subtle, edged with formality, but not too formal.
"We done with formal mode," she asked? "I want to rest my feet. Then we can relax, play cards, and get to bed at a decent hour." "Deal," Finn agreed.
So, matters in the Bee Kingdom have been (mostly) squared away as the former Prime Minister gets his complimentary ass-kicking. Still, it appears that Starchy now needs to get squared away too, which may well lead Finn to that person who hates him enough to hurt the folks around him.
In other news, I am working to get back to a more normal schedule for these updates. (at least once ever couple weeks).