I hate to do this, but it is still fairly depressing. I'm not sure when they'll come out of it. But thank you so much for your continued reviews! I love hearing from you. And don't fear me! Please give constructive criticism if you find it necessary! I hope you enjoy this update!

Chapter Fourteen (Aragorn)

The night before, I had finally gathered myself enough to bid Mareke a shaky goodnight and retreat into my own rooms where I proceeded to not sleep at all. I sat in an ice cold bath instead, scrubbing my skin until it was an angry pink.

During the years after Arwen and I had pledged our troth to one another, I had thought of our wedding night frequently. It would have been a time to truly celebrate love and we would have retired early, bidding our friends goodnight, anxiously returning to the rooms that we would have shared, tradition be damned. The rest of the night would have been spent in pleasure and laughter and love.

As the sun rose in my windows, I stood hunched over the basin of warm water that had been brought for me to use, staring into the mirror. I did not care for the man who stared back at me. He was haggard and there were dark circles underneath his eyes.

I could just see the Evenstar sitting on my chest in the mirror. It felt as though it weighed a thousand pounds. I ran my fingers over the sharp edges and then clutched it in my hand so hard that there were small dots of blood when I released my grip.

"Will you be joining the Queen for breakfast in her chambers?" Damrod asked quietly, from where he stood in the doorway.

I continued staring at my reflection, before looking at him in the mirror.

"Yes," I said and my voice was hoarse.

"I have laid your clothes out on your bed then," he said. "Do you need anything else?" He asked lingering.

"That will be all."

I stalked into my bedroom and let the towel fall away from me before roughly pulling my clothes on and lacing up my boots.

The thought of facing others at the breakfast table made me want to crawl under my covers and try to get some rest or at least hide away from everyone. Surely, Mareke's parents and Adnan would be there. I was not sure that I could handle the child's enthusiasm after the night I had had.

Eventually, I stood and made my way down the corridor and entered Mareke's private dining room.

All present stood and bowed or curtsied to me, Mareke included. When she sat back down I saw that her dark eyes were dulled, red, and puffy. It seemed as though I was not the only who had not slept.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," Hashad said cheerfully. Khatun was beaming at me and Adnan was already making his way toward to me to climb clumsily onto my lap.

Mareke tried to grab his arm as he walked by her, but he shook her away.

"He is alright," I said quietly, allowing Adnan to make himself comfortable.

I put a tiny bit of food on my plate. Eating was the last thing I wanted to do and luckily Adnan helped me, popping bites of cheese and bread into his mouth.

Mareke shook her head. "You have already eaten, you little glutton."

Adnan gave his mother a shrug and continued to pick off of my plate.

"He is a growing boy," Khatun said in her thick accent.

"Indeed he is," I replied trying to sound as normal as possible. "He has grown so much since he has been here. It is hard to believe, considering it has only been a matter of months."

"We hear you keep him quite busy, Your Majesty," Hashad said with a kind smile.

"Aragorn, please," I reminded him. I did not feel worthy of the titles that day. "And I try. He has much to learn, but luckily he is a quite willing student. My friends Legolas and Gimli are very fond of the time they spend with your grandson."

"Legolas has done a wonderful job," Khatun said. "Adnan's Sindarin is better than mine will ever be."

I gave a polite smile, though I imagined it came off rather strained. "Adnan certainly has an ear for it. He is practically fluent, but of course he has not heard much else since his arrival. It is much easier to learn at such a young age."

The rest of breakfast passed and I relied heavily on Hashad and Khatun interacting with their grandson. Mareke hardly said a work and neither did I. I glanced in her direction and noticed an angry red blotch on her neck and what was exposed of her chest and I imagined that could only be attributed to my beard, when I buried my face there to hide my tears.

Luckily, there was a knock at the door that offered all present a distraction.

Adnan leapt off my lap and was the first to greet our morning guests.

"Good morning, laddie!" Gimli exclaimed, leading the group in. "You look chipper today!"

Behind Gimli came Legolas followed by the Rohirric siblings and Faramir. Eomer introduced Adnan to his sister and brother-in-law and as I watched I caught Legolas' eye. Sometimes I hated the intuition of his people as his gaze travelled from me to Mareke.

She rose gracefully and went to greet the group.

"We were hoping Adnan would show us his leopard. We were all quite intrigued last night," I heard Eowyn say after she had greeted my wife.

"Can I Mama?" he asked, excitedly.

"Of course. I believe we are done with breakfast. Lead the way," Mareke said with a gracious smile. She and Eowyn followed right behind Adnan, and I fell into step with the group of men, leaving the King and Queen of Harad behind.

There were no well-meaning jokes from any of them about my night spent in Harad and I was grateful that no one was pretending the situation was something different than what it was. There was nothing to jest about.

"The boy loves this creature. It is one of the strangest animals I have ever seen," Gimli said to Eomer and Faramir.

"Is it dangerous?" Faramir asked, always cautious.

"Not to friends," I replied quietly. "Their people do use them for protection as I understand it, but if you are friendly to Adnan and Mareke in his presence he will do you no harm."

"Duma!" Adnan called as we entered the private, royal gardens. "Duma!"

Eowyn gripped Mareke's arm in anticipation and soon enough the large cat, who had grown considerably since their arrival, just as Adnan had, came slinking out of the shrubs.

"Tis a cat," Eomer said with a chuckle.

"He is a leopard!" Adnan exclaimed indignantly. "Have you ever a seen a regular cat so large?"

I laughed at the expression on the young boy's face. He was proud of the animal he had brought from Harad.

"Careful brother. You must act friendly," Faramir chided.

"I must admit, I have not," Eomer said as he stepped forward, next to the women, and crouched down.

"He will not hurt me, will he?" Eomer asked Adnan, even as he reached out his hand to the animal.

"We shall see," was Adnan's response.

But Duma merely ran the length of his body against Eomer's large hand and I could hear his rumbled purrings from where I stood with Legolas and Gimli who had seen the beast innumerable times.

"He is magnificent, Adnan," Eowyn said as she crouched next to her brother.

I watched Mareke from where I was standing behind her. Her hand strayed to Adnan's dark curls. I did not think she was aware of when she was doing it, but whenever he was close enough to her she would reach out and stroke his hair that matched hers. He took a step closer to his mother and leaned against her leg and hip as they watched their guests.

When Duma was through entertaining the strangers, he rubbed himself against Mareke's legs and Adnan, licking the boy's face and hair, causing it to stick up in places. Everyone thought that was terribly amusing.

"Eowyn, Faramir, and I were going to go for a ride after lunch," Eomer said. I could see Adnan immediately turn his attention to our conversation. "Perhaps you all would like to join us?"

"How does that sound, Adnan?" I asked, again trying to paste a smile onto my face.

"Excellent!" He exclaimed.

"Your Majesty?" Eowyn asked my wife.

"You Rohirrim will not approve, but horseback is not my favorite place," she said with a gentle smile. "I think I shall stay behind."

"Aye, mine either," Gimli agreed. "I will stay here and keep the Queen company if she will have me."

"That would be most welcome," Mareke agreed.

"I have some things to attend to before then," I said. "But I will meet you in the stables afterwards."

"You all are more than welcome to dine with Adnan, my parents, and I," Mareke said graciously.

I studied her for a long moment before heading to my office. I might have been able to offer her some solitude by way of inviting the group to dine elsewhere, but I could not bring myself to do it. I needed the time alone desperately and did not have time to worry about how she could manage to keep up an appearance so well.

The sound of my study door closing behind me was most welcome. I was finally alone, completely by myself. I practically fell into the chair behind my desk and put my head in my hands, closing my eyes tightly.

All morning I had not been able to shake the visions of the previous night from my mind. There were flashes of dark skin, dark eyes, and dark, tangled curls, none of which I had hoped to share such a moment with.

I pulled my tunic away from chest and saw the dark indentations in my skin where the Evenstar had been pressed between Mareke and I.

A lump formed in my throat just thinking about the previous night. I wiped at my eyes and tried to busy myself with the stack of documents lying on my desk, but all I could think was that if it had been Arwen as my Queen I would never have gone into my study the day after our wedding. No one would have been able to pull me from our rooms, but that was not the case and I was all too anxious to sneak away. I had left my new wife to entertain our guests, not caring how she was feeling.

I conjured Arwen in my mind as I always had during my darkest days. She sat across from me and gave the gentle, close-lipped smile she always did. I wanted to reach out and touch the creamy skin of her arms, I wanted to feel how well she fit against me. I wanted desperately to return to the time in my youth when I had ventured into Lorien and spent a season with her there. Everything had been simple and peaceful and I had been happy. I feared I would never get back to such a place.

"This is your fault," I said as the vision before me disappeared.

After an hour or so of not accomplishing anything, I gathered myself and headed for the stables.

Everyone was already there, finishing saddling their horses. Adnan was sitting on Firefoot, Eomer's gigantic destrier. The other King held the reins in his hand and the boy looked all too eager to set off.

Several guards were already mounted, ready to watch over our group.

"I cannot stand that," Eomer said nodding at them. "As though we did not wander all over without anyone watching out for us just a couple of years ago."

I nodded my agreement.

One of the stablehands brought Brego forth, already saddled and I mounted as everyone else did, hoping the ride would clear my head.

"Are you going to ride with Eomer?" I asked Adnan coming up next to Firefoot.

The boy nodded eagerly and I could not help but smile at the simple delight he took in the smallest of things.

"Ah but he has promised he will ride back with me," Eowyn said with a smile, coming up on her gray mare.

I could see in Adnan's eyes the wonderment he had regarding the Rohirric siblings. I had discovered that he loved horses and riding and I had taken him a few times to the corrals and allowed him to sit astride a small pony. We had gone for a few short rides on Brego as well and he had chattered for days after those rides about them.

These new people he had met, lived their lives on horseback and I could tell that he could think of nothing more extraordinary.

Our group headed out of the stables and then out of the city entirely, crossing the field to where there was a small wooded area.

Leading the way were Faramir, Eowyn, and Eomer. I could hear Adnan chattering to the Lady of Ithilien excitedly.

Legolas fell back and rode next to me and I was grateful for his presence.

All of a sudden I heard Mareke's voice in my head. "My husband died on the field just outside of your city. I have to keep that from Adnan. His father was slain in Gondor, just outside of your rock walls, just a stone's throw from the gardens and stables and practice fields he has grown so fond of."

"He has no idea," I said quietly.

"What are you speaking of?" Legolas asked, picking up my whisper.

"Adnan," I said. "Has no idea what happened on this ground, this field."

Legolas was silent for a moment. "He will someday. No matter how much his mother wishes to keep it from him now, he will grow up and want to know of his father."

I nodded. "I hope his memories of his childhood here will not be tinged by the darkness of all that transpired before he was old enough to understand."

"I am sure you and Mareke will find the right words. After growing up in Minas Tirith, Adnan will have to understand both sides of what happened."

I nodded. I wondered if Mareke and I would be able to do such a thing, to conquer such a task. Our differences and grievances would have to be put aside, compartmentalized for the sake of Adnan and any other children we might have.

The thought of parenting not only her son, but my own children was daunting. How could I do such a thing when it was not what I had wanted for my life. I loved children and Adnan already had a part of my heart, but the children I wanted were not the dark, mixed blood children that would come from my union with Mareke.

I had always pictured fair skinned, dark haired, grey eyed little versions of Arwen.

Legolas remained quiet, but I knew my friend was very intuitive and could probably sense exactly what I was feeling without having to ask.

"Perhaps you can put all else aside and at least be friends."

I nodded once more. We rode for nearly two hours, the groups interchanging a few times and conversations changing.

We eventually stopped and Eowyn pulled out an apple from her saddlebag. "Windfola loves these for a treat," she told Adnan, holding it out to him. "You may give it to her if you like."

Adnan looked back at me hesitantly, afraid of the large horse's mouth.

"Let me help," I said, stepping forward and crouching down behind him. I placed one hand underneath his and placed the apple on his small palm. "You must keep your fingers flat or she will nibble them right off in her excitement about her treat."

Adnan gasped dramatically.

"She will not if you keep your hand flat," I promised. With my hand under his I raised his arm up until the horse could take the whole apple in her mouth. Her whiskery lips grazed both of our hands and Adnan giggled wildly.

"Well done," I said quietly. His small, warm body turned in my arms and he scrambled onto my back. I stood and he clung there.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. It had been a few hours since he had eaten and the boy could really put food away.

"Legolas," he called to the Elf who was talking with Faramir. "Do you have any lembas in your pack?"

"Lembas?" I asked curiously.

"He always has some when we have our lessons."

Legolas made his way to Arod and pulled a cloth wrapped bundle out. "You are in luck, little Prince."

"Where did you get that?" I asked Legolas as he broke off a tiny corner of the wafer.

"I made some a while ago late one night when everyone had vacated the kitchens. Not all ingredients were present, so it is as near a replica as I could make. Adnan quite likes the taste, but is still learning why he cannot eat a whole piece." He handed me the bite and I reached over my shoulder to hand it to Adnan, but instead of his chubby hand, I felt his wet lips suck it from my fingers.

"I am like the horses," he giggled.

Legolas laughed up at him. "So you are."

After a few more moments of stretching our legs we remounted and I handed Adnan up to Eowyn before I mounted Brego and we set off back to the city.

"You are very good with him," Eowyn said, riding up next to me. Adnan was paying no attention, holding onto the saddle horn and bouncing in front of her.

"He makes it rather easy," I replied.

She did not say anything else for a long moment and I could feel her peering at me with her large eyes.

I was glad that Eowyn had come out from the phase she had been in when I had been in Rohan. I admired her greatly and she was a wonderful friend. It brought my heart great happiness to see her and Faramir so in love. I believed that in her heart she knew that I never could have made her so happy, that only he could have.

"He eases your heart," she said.

"Indeed he does. How could he not? He is a ball of positive energy." Adnan finally looked over at me. "Yes we are talking about you."

He just shook his head and looked back out over the field.

"I am sorry things did not happen how you wished them to," Eowyn said and for a moment I was taken aback by the honesty of the Rohirrim.

"As am I."

"But surely not all is lost. You of all people should believe that. You made all of us believe that in the darkest of times. These are much happier times"

"For most," I said, rather shortly, not intending to. It was becoming all too frequent when I would not have the tone of my voice or the look on my face in check.

"It could be much darker for even you."

No one else would have dared to speak of me in such a way, but Eowyn of Rohan feared nothing after all that she had seen. Legolas and I had conversed many times, but even he was delicate with my feelings.

"I only met the Queen last night but I cannot think of a more gracious, kind, and welcoming, even when she has not been welcomed, woman."

"Are you scolding me, Eowyn?"

"Do you need to be scolded, Your Majesty?"

I sighed.

"Perhaps you should think about what it looks like when you are so sullen and absent the day after your wedding."

Without another word she spurred Windfola ahead to catch up to her husband.

Eomer dropped back and joined me, but all I wanted was to be left alone once more. "I would apologize for her, but she is out of my control now. Not that she was ever within it," he said with a friendly chuckle.

"She is fierce, your sister. Even when there is no battle to fight."

"She is always fighting for something, though I am hoping Faramir will mellow her out. So far there are no signs of that happening."

The sun was setting as we made our way back into the stables.

Everyone dismounted, but Adnan. Eowyn allowed him to sit in her saddle for a few more moments as she brought Windfola a bucket of water and brushed out her gray mane.

I waved the stable hand away that came to tend to Brego. I wanted to do something for myself before the sun completely set and another day was lost for such work. As I slipped the bit from Brego's mouth I heard a thump and then a sharp wail.

I looked around to see that Adnan had fallen from the saddle onto the hard stone floor of the stable. I sprinted over to where he lay on the ground and without touching him did a quick assessment, finding no blood. He cradled his arm to his chest. I gently ran my hands over the hurt arm, though that caused him to scream louder. It was broken.

Eowyn was beside herself. "I told him to hold on tightly! I only turned away for a moment!"

I scooped his small body back into my arms and hurried up the levels of the city to the Houses of Healing. I could hear the footsteps of everyone else following me.

"Faramir," I bid the man. "Fetch the Queen." He hurried past us and towards the palace.

There were a few inhabitants in the Houses, but I ran past without even glancing at them, even as they gasped at their King's presence. There was a section of the Houses reserved for the royal family and that is where I took Adnan. I laid him gently on one of the beds. He was still wailing and clutching at his arm.

"Start cutting bandages for me," I told Legolas.

Eomer and Eowyn had respectfully remained outside of the room.

I whisked together a thick paste. His arm needed to be reset and bound as quickly as possible.

The door burst open and Mareke rushed in. "What happened? What happened?" She demanded upon seeing her son, lying on the bed, face red and bunched up from crying.

"He fell from a horse in the stables. His arm is broken," I said calmly, glad to have a task to focus on.

Mareke climbed next to him on the bed and held him tightly against her.

"Sshh, I am here. I am here," she whispered into his curls.

I handed her a goblet full of only a little bit of the potent wine from Mirkwood. "Have him take a few swallows of that."

"Drink a little bit of this, habibi," she murmured, using a word from their own language. "Your arm will not hurt anymore if you do."

Adnan calmed enough to take a few swallows and his crying went down to a hiccup here and there. His head rested heavily on his mother's chest and she stroked his hair. She murmured to him, but had reverted to speaking completely in Haradrim.

When I was sure that the wine had taken effect, I had Mareke take his shirt off. I waved Legolas away and he quietly left the Houses. I then took Adnan's arm in my hands feeling for the break. It was not a large break, but I reset it carefully so that the arm would grow normally. I took a roll of bandages and wrapped from his wrist and around his thumb up past his elbow so that all of the skin was covered.

"I need you to hold his arm like this," I told Mareke, bending his elbow.

Her dark hands held her son's wrist and upper arm in just the angle I had shown her and I began to dip the pieces of cut bandage into the thick plaster that I had made. It was tedious work, but it was important that his arm remain immobile for a couple of months at most. It took a while for it to dry, but Mareke continued to hold Adnan's arm away from his body until it was dry. Gently, she laid it back down. Adnan had not stirred throughout the process and when I looked at him he was fast asleep against his mother.

"Thank you," she said softly.

In that moment, everything about her was soft. She was not looking at me, but down at Adnan. Her eyes were not blazing and her mouth and brow were relaxed as she stroked his curls.

"I can carry him back to his room if you think he would be more comfortable," I offered.

"I think that would be best," she agreed, gently disentangling herself from Adnan. I lifted him up once more, cradling him against my chest, and we made our way from the Houses to the palace.

"Your Majesty!" Eowyn exclaimed when we entered the palace. She and Eomer and Faramir were standing waiting for us and I imagined they had been there the whole time. "I am so sorry! It is all my fault!"

Mareke looked at her, confused.

"He was sitting on my mare and I was not paying attention, tending to the horse," she trailed off.

"Eowyn, of course it is not your fault. You did not push him from the saddle. I am sure you gave him very direct instructions that would prevent him from falling, but he is a three year old boy."

I was amazed at how calm Mareke was. My heart had been in my throat when I had seen him lying on the ground and I had sprinted to breathlessness to the Houses.

"Children have accidents every day and there is not a thing that us well-meaning adults can do about it."

Eowyn just stared at the Queen, perhaps expecting her wrath rather than her sympathy.

"I am sure it will not be the first time he falls off a horse. Aragorn tended to his arm quite capably and he will make a full recovery. He will probably want to ride with you again before you leave."

Eowyn actually laughed at that. "I hope so."

"Perhaps someday when you are a parent, you will learn after the first few bumped heads and scraped knees, especially with a boy, that that is just going to be a way of life for a very long time."

"I hope to handle such situations with your level-headedness," Eowyn replied before leaving.

I led Mareke into Adnan's rooms and laid him gently on his bed. He did not stir at all. The wine had truly done its job.

Mareke took off his small boots and tucked him under the covers. She pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and left the room. I shut the door quietly behind us.

"Are you alright?" I asked, not sure exactly what that question was encompassing.

"Of course. He is a boy. He is all rough and tumble." She went and poured herself a goblet of wine. "Would you like some?"

"Actually, that would be most welcome," I replied, taking the goblet she handed me and settling into a soft chair.

"He will not be phased by this at all and will be back to his normal activities upon waking in the morning, I would imagine."

"Well he terrified me," I admitted as she sat across from me on the sofa.

Her smile reached her eyes. "Yes well, you are new to children. Adnan will get you adjusted to these things quickly, I am sure."

"What did you call him earlier? In your language?" I asked.

Mareke raised a brow, thinking back. "Habibi?"

"Yes, that one. What does it mean?"

She thought again. I had put her on the spot, asking for a translation. "I suppose it is close to your darling or sweetheart. It is just an endearing term."

I nodded, not sure what else to say to her. What else was there to say after the disastrous evening the night before and the chaos of Adnan falling from a horse?

Mareke took a sip of her wine and seemed to relax slightly. Her curls were falling from their bun after sprinting to the Houses and crawling into the bed to hold her son.

She caught me looking at her and began to run her hand over her hair.

"No, no," I said. "I like it better that way."

Her hand dropped into her lap and she went silent, looking out the window.

The sun was gone, but a nearly full moon could be seen over the gardens. It made her dark skin much paler, reflecting on her face.

I could not stop making comparisons between the woman who was supposed to be my wife and the woman who was physically sitting across from me. There would have been no silence between Arwen and I. If there had been, it would have been comfortable. I felt that I needed to fill the air between Mareke and I with words, but I could not find them. How could I discuss something so mundane as the weather with the woman I coupled with last night? With the woman I had sobbed on? There she sat across from me as though it had not happened, as though she was not upset with the way her life had turned out. Perhaps she was just better at hiding it.

"I think I will spend the night with Adnan in case he wakes and needs anything," she said, standing to place the empty goblet on the small table. "Unless of course you require anything of me." Mareke looked at me with her dark eyes.

"Go to your son," I responded quickly, not wanting to think of another such night as our wedding night. "I will only subject you to that until it is no longer necessary."

Something flashed across her face that I could not read. Surely after the night we had shared, she would not be insulted.

"Very well," she said. Her voice had changed and seemed to catch in her throat. "Thank you for everything you did today. I am sure Adnan was grateful to have you tend to him. I know I am."

"Healing is something I enjoy more than my kingly duties," I replied. I gave one last, small smile and left her rooms.

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Avonmora