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Chapter Eighteen (Aragorn)
Damrod was, for the first time since my coronation, helping me dress for the New Age celebration. I was to present myself to the people in the late afternoon and then there would be the actual feast and celebrating to follow.
My tunic was a deep navy with the White Tree stitched onto the front and I wore a heavy gray cloak to protect myself from the biting wind and cold.
"There you go, Your Majesty," Damrod said as he looked me over making sure that everything was in order. He opened the cedar box that contained my crown and gingerly handed it to me.
I was irritated already when I placed it on my head, thinking that I would have to wear the annoying, heavy thing all night.
My attendant seemed to sense my mood and he left my chambers quietly. I stared at myself in the floor length mirror. I would have given my sword arm to be anywhere else. I craved my ranging clothes and the solitude of the woods I had roamed in my youth. The last thing I wanted to do was go in front of my people and make some speech and pretend to celebrate all night long.
I took a deep breath and made my way to Mareke's chambers to retrieve her and Adnan as they would be at my side for all of the fanfare.
"Well are you ready for this?" I asked with little means of introduction when I entered her sitting room to find her on a sofa in front of the fire, already dressed.
She glanced up at me and set her book down. "I am," she replied.
I hoped she could sense my mood, though she had been less outgoing of late in my presence.
"Adnan," she said gently, reaching out a hand for him. He had a been allowed to bring a couple of his toys from his nursery and sat playing before the fire while they waited for me.
Mareke stood and I noticed that her blood red gown matched the color of the shirt under my tunic. We would at least look like a united, ruling couple. She reached for a heavy gray cloak, which also matched mine, and draped it over her shoulders.
I did not give her appearance any more attention than that. We had been going to similar functions for nearly a year. They all blended together for me.
We made our way towards the Citadel and stood behind its closed doors for a moment before they were pushed open and we were blinded by the bright light. The embrasure of rock that jutted out from the uppermost level of the city was crowded with people.
Legolas and Gimli were standing in the front row of people and both were giving me encouraging smiles. Mareke, Adnan, and I walked down the steps and there was a smattering of applause. However, when they stopped and I continued to walk forward to address the people, the cheering got louder.
I raised my hands to settle the noise.
"My people," I began when they had quieted enough for me to be heard. "It has been nearly three years since the end of the War." There was more raucous cheering and again I waited for it to die down. "Our Realm and many others have reached levels of stability that have not been known since long before the War. We have made strong, advantageous alliances that would not have been possible a decade ago." There was no cheering after that and all eyes shifted to where Mareke and Adnan were standing a few steps behind me. "Commerce is thriving and trade routes have been created where there previously were none. I can see whenever I walk through this fair, proud city that you, the people, are happy, healthy, and prospering once more!" I paused. "This, more than any other Age before, shall be an Age of peace and abundance. We will continue to strive for growth both economically and culturally, making Gondor and Arnor into the power it was before the War. We will do this together and we will only continue to be successful! There is no other option!"
The cheering was deafening. I smiled and waved for a moment before I could speak again.
"Food and drink have been provided in all levels of the city! Go and enjoy yourselves this night, for you have all earned a night of merrymaking!"
I continued to wave as the crowd dispersed. When I turned back to Mareke and Adnan, the smile melted from my face. I offered her my arm and we led the nobles back into the Hall of Feasts.
"That was quite the moving speech," Mareke said quietly.
"Thank you," I replied. Less and less I felt like facing the evening. I wanted to return to my chambers and throw the crown from my head.
"Best behavior," I heard Mareke murmur to Adnan who was clinging to her hand.
We entered the hall and people milled around us to reach their seats.
"Did you see the King's face?" I heard a man ask and turned to see one of the older lords addressing his wife, knowing he was within earshot of Mareke and I. "That alliance he spoke of has drained him of any happiness."
"How much time does she have to produce an heir before an annulment becomes an option?" The wife replied wickedly.
Mareke stiffened next to me, but I merely led her and Adnan to the high table, not saying a word about what we had both heard. What comfort could I offer her if the man was not far from the truth.
Before we mounted the steps to the high table, Beinion intercepted us.
"What are you doing here?" Mareke asked, attempting to compose herself. "Should you not be at home with your wife and new daughter?"
Beinion grinned at the mention of his child that had arrived less than a week earlier.
"You know Vanya, Your Majesty. She cannot miss a celebration, but since she had to tonight, she forced me to come so that I can relay all of the details."
Mareke laughed at the antics of her friend. "Give her our love. Tell her that I cannot wait to meet precious Marilla."
"I will," he promised. "I will not be staying long; for dinner and perhaps a goblet of wine."
As he left, I grasped his forearm and offered my congratulations, before leading Mareke and Adnan up the steps and to our seats.
Out of the three of us, Adnan was the only one who ate a decent amount. I could not stomach the food and out of the corner of my eye I watched Mareke push her food around on her plate.
My legs were leaden when I stood once more to begin the insufferable evening of mingling and dancing. Adnan was left with Lady Belethiel as I offered Mareke my hand.
Mareke did not say a word as I spun her onto the floor and we went through the steps as though they were a stiff, second nature. Again, there was hardly any applause and I wondered what it might have sounded like if it had been Arwen in my arms. They would have roared their approval for the gentle, fair Queen.
"King Elessar," I heard someone call my name and saw Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth, flocked by two of his sons and his dark-haired daughter.
"Prince Imrahil," I said, as Mareke and I approached. He bowed briefly to me and then his eyes travelled to my wife.
"I do not believe you have had the honor of meeting the Queen," I said, trying to say all of the right things.
"I have not," he said kindly, turning toward her and taking her dark hand in his. "My second grandchild was born a few days before your wedding and it was too happy an occasion to tear myself from, Your Majesty. I hope you can understand." He bent over her hand and kissed it.
"Of course I can," she replied. "Family is of the utmost importance, my lord."
"My heart is truly glad that I have met you now," Imrahil returned. "Allow me to introduce three of my four children." The two young men were striking with their refined bone structure and dark hair. "Erchirion and Amrothos, my youngest sons. My eldest is at home watching over things for me," he said.
In turn, each of the men kissed the back of Mareke's hand and she greeted them warmly and they smiled in her presence.
"And this is my daughter, Lothiriel."
The young woman stepped forward and I could tell that she and Mareke were of an age. I had met her at my coronation and I had thought then that she stood apart from the rest of Gondor's noblewomen. Imrahil's family stood apart. They had let the strict customs of Gondor loosen in their seaside home.
"I have been looking forward to meeting Your Majesty since you arrived," she said excitedly. "I am glad I have finally had the chance."
"As am I," Mareke agreed.
I turned to speak with Imrahil and his sons, but could not help but overhear the women's conversation.
"If I may speak plainly," Lothiriel said. "I have been so looking forward to our meeting because from what I have heard of you, you might be able to understand how I feel when I am in Minas Tirith."
"And how is that?" Mareke asked.
"Like an outsider."
Mareke was silent for a moment, perhaps weighing her words before she spoke. "As of right now, Minas Tirith is not the most friendly place I have ever been," she admitted. "But the King spoke of making changes to the culture here. We might be hopeful yet."
I continued to speak with Imrahil and his sons for a while longer and every once in awhile our conversation was interrupted by the laughter of Lothiriel and Mareke behind us.
"I am glad they are enjoying one another's company so much," Imrahil said to me.
"As am I," I responded. I had enjoyed our talk of politics more than any discussion of my wife. "The Queen has found it rather difficult to make friends here."
"And that is a shame," Amrothos said, looking over my shoulder to Mareke. "She seems to be a very kind, warm woman."
"Indeed," I said shortly.
Imrahil and his sons looked at me for a moment and then Amrothos went to Mareke once more.
"Your Majesty, would you honor me with a dance?"
Mareke looked a little taken aback. I could not remember anyone but myself ever taking her onto the dance floor and that had only been when it was required of me.
"The honor would be mine, Prince Amrothos," she said, placing her hand in his.
We all watched as he spun her gracefully around the floor.
"I hope he is not saying anything inappropriate," Imrahil muttered.
Mareke was laughing at whatever the young prince had said as he maneuvered them around the dancefloor.
"He has been my hardest to rein in, though Lothiriel proved to be a close second," Imrahil said with a jesting grin in his daughter's direction.
"I am sure she had to be quite tough to be raised around three brothers," I said, smiling as well.
"You have no idea, Your Majesty," she returned.
When they returned to our small group, Gimli had joined me.
"After that dance, lass, I thought you could use a goblet of wine," he said, proffering what he had brought to Mareke.
"Gimli, you are always coming to my rescue," she said with a breathless laugh, resting a hand on his shoulder affectionately.
Gimli's cheeks colored beneath his beard as he smiled up at her.
She glanced in my direction and the smile slowly left her face, before forcing it back when turning to Lothiriel and her brothers.
I could feel Gimli's gaze on me.
"Is something the matter?" I asked him shortly.
"Not with me, lad," he said with a shrug before going over to join Mareke and the siblings from Dol Amroth.
"Mellon, you look rather put out," Legolas said, silently coming up next to me.
"Can I not be left in peace?" I demanded, exasperated with his and Gimli's and the Dol Amrothian's looks.
"Tonight I would not expect so," he said. "But there is something that might brighten your spirits."
I looked at him curiously, but could think of nothing that would make me feel better. "I doubt it."
Just at that moment, two Elves, identical to one another came forward through the crowd.
Legolas had been right. I smiled broadly. "Elladan! Elrohir! What are you doing here?" I stepped forward and hugged them both tightly. I had not seen them since my coronation.
"This is to be the Age of Men," Elladan said. I could only ever tell it was him speaking because he had a small scar that ran from his right temple over his eyebrow.
"Where else could we be than this stronghold of Men?" Elrohir asked. "Visiting our foster brother?"
I laughed out loud. "I suppose this is the perfect place to be then."
I escorted the twins to the refreshment table and we all took a goblet of wine.
"Legolas has provided nicely for the festivities," Elrohir said.
"We should go slowly with it. There is a very limited supply of Thranduil's wine left."
Elladan and Elrohir were the Lords of Rivendell, the last settlement for the Elves. After the War, the fair race had sailed West in droves, leaving a very small number left. Elladan and Elrohir were putting off their decision in regards to living like mortals or sailing with the immortal people.
"Where is your new Queen, Estel?" Elladan asked.
I had not heard my childhood nickname in so long. It took me back to being young and spending my days with the twins, happily absorbing all they taught me of the ways of their people.
"Speaking with Gimli I believe," I replied.
The twins exchanged a look. "Are you not going to introduce us to your wife, Aragorn?"
I sighed. "Of course I am." I led the way back to where Mareke and Lothiriel were being entertained by the Dwarf.
Lothiriel sank into the background when she saw me approaching.
"How lovely," Gimli grumbled. "More Elves."
"Gimli," Mareke chided with a light laugh, her back to us. "Whatever are you talking about?"
She followed his eyes and turned around. "Oh," she said, rather surprised. "More Elves." Her face was friendly, but she looked to me to help her orient herself in the situation.
"Mareke, these are my foster brothers, Elladan and Elrohir of Imladris," I said.
Again, both men bent over her hand, the black gem glinting in the torchlight, and kissed it, but I could not take my eyes from her shocked face. It had all clicked into place on who the twins were.
"My lords," she said, less confidently than normal. "It is a pleasure to meet you both. What a wonderful surprise." Her face had gone pale and the twins were studying her as only Elves could.
"You have nothing to fear from us," Elrohir said gently.
Mareke nodded. "I need to make sure that you have proper accommodations while you are here with us," she said. "Excuse me."
When she had left, the twins both looked at me.
"I am not discussing my marriage with you two of all people," I said sternly.
"Your brothers?" Elladan asked.
"That is not exactly how I think of you when it comes to my marriage."
"That is what we are in any situation," Elrohir said.
"Not in this one."
"Very well," Elrohir replied.
"We shall discuss it later," Elladan said, more stern than his brother.
In that instant, they reminded me of their father and the expressions he had given me when I would step out of line and need to learn a lesson.
A few more hours passed and I spent the evening mingling when I had to, but trying to stay with Legolas, Gimli, and the twins. However, very frequently I caught them searching for Mareke through the crowd.
I glanced at the high table to see Adnan fighting against going to bed with his nurse and I went to him.
"You may take him to bed if he is being too difficult for Lady Belethiel," I told Mareke.
"As you wish," she replied. Before I could say anything else she had hauled Adnan onto her hip, which she never did in public and stalked off through the hall.
"I have never seen lonelier eyes on a person," Elrohir said as as I returned to the small group. Many others had left the feast to see what was going on in the other levels of the city.
"Than the King?" Gimli asked.
"No," Elrohir replied. "The Queen."
"I am not discussing this with you. I already said that," my tone brokered no room for an argument, but my foster brothers were undeterred and unintimidated by me.
"That is not an option," Elladan said. "We cannot sit idly by and watch you, who we practically raised, acting in such a way. Who are you, Estel? You are not the kind and conscientious man you were."
"I had not noticed that he was gone," I bit back. "I wonder what happened."
Legolas and Gimli stood from the table we had occupied and left without a word, not wanting to be a part of the impending disagreement.
"I have never known you to pity yourself," Elladan continued. Besides his scar it was possible to tell the two apart because he was the most outspoken of the two.
"Well then perhaps after so many years, I deserve to."
"What is there to pity?" Elrohir asked. "Your Kingdom is thriving and at peace, you have a great many friends who would do anything for you. Is your wife that awful? She did not seem so upon our brief encounter and Legolas and Gimli only had the kindest things to say of her. Those of your people who did bother to speak to her this evening were smiling the entire time. Imrahil's sons and daughter could not contain their laughter as they spoke to the Queen."
"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked. "You know perfectly well what is the matter. I do not see the point in this discussion. Why did you come here? Just to look at me with her same eyes? To haunt me with your very resemblance to your sister?"
"And where is she?" Elladan demanded, rather roughly. "Where is our sister, Estel?"
"Elladan," Elrohir said quietly, trying to calm his brother.
"No. Perhaps he has not said it out loud. Perhaps he just needs to keep saying it until it sinks in." He looked at me evenly with the same grey eyes that had looked at me for years, that all three of the Elrondian siblings possessed. "She is gone. Through no fault of your own, Arwen sailed. She will not return to these lands."
I looked away from him.
"Estel," Elrohir said gently, leaning across the table towards me. "You know he speaks the truth even if his manner is a bit uncouth."
I blinked furiously, feeling tears pricking my eyes.
Many more people had deserted the tables around us and the hall was nearly empty. I was grateful for the relative solitude. The real festivities were happening in the streets.
"I did not deserve what happened to me," I said quietly so that my voice would not break.
"No, no one believes that you did," Elrohir replied. "But you are not the man you once were. That man had pushed through a great many obstacles. Elladan and I knew your father well and Arathorn would not have approved of this."
"He died before his heart could break," I said shortly.
"It would certainly break now," Elladan retorted.
I sighed. "What do you want me to do?"
It was Elrohir who spoke. "Be kind to her."
"I have done much for Mareke and her son."
"We have heard in great detail what you have done for the boy and that is commendable, truly," Elladan said. "But your wife is practically a child, caring for a child, in a strange land with no one here to support her."
"She has friends," I replied.
"I saw none tonight," Elrohir said.
"It seems like what she has are plenty of naysayers," Elladan said, his face morphing into one of disgust. "There is no way you cannot hear what your people say about her, Estel. 'Heathen whore' and 'Southron witch.' I barely spoke a sentence to the woman, but I wanted to put every one of them in their proper places. And there you stood pretending that it was perfectly fine for people to say such things about the woman you married."
"Whether you wanted to or not," Elrohir picked up for his brother and my head spun between the two of them. "You did marry her and you have some responsibility to not only her child but Mareke as well."
I put my head in my hands, elbows braced on the table.
"We are not against you, Estel," Elladan said quietly. "We have only ever wanted you to be happy. Your life has never been easy, but now it seems you are the one making it more difficult than it need be."
"I am going to retire," I said rubbing my eyes.
"Very well. Sleep well, muindor (brother)," Elrohir said.
"At least think of what we have said," Elladan said by way of goodnight.
I nodded and left them sitting there and tried to drown out their whisperings to each other that I could still hear.
I had nearly made it to my room when my feet guided me elsewhere and I found myself standing outside of Mareke's chambers. The reproaches of my brothers were ringing in my ears. All of my life they had guided me. I had known I had been unfair to her, but to have it pointed out to me by those I respected most of all was jarring.
Mareke was probably asleep. She retired, or had all but been sent, to her chambers long ago. I quietly pushed the door to her sitting room open and found it deserted. The embers were dying in the fire. I stood there aimlessly for a long while, staring at the coals.
My attention immediately went to Adnan's nursery door as someone pulled it open from the inside. It was not the little boy, but his mother who slipped out. I did not say a word, but when she looked up from closing the door quietly she let out a yelp of fright and her hand went to her throat.
"Aragorn," she said when she had gathered herself. "What are you doing?"
"I might ask the same," I replied, trying to put off any other discussion.
"Oh," she looked back at the door she had just closed. "I dozed off with him when I put him to bed."
I could have guessed as much. Her hair was escaping the tight bun, her dress was rumpled from where she had laid on it, and her dark eyes were bleary.
"I see."
"Did you need something? It has to be very late," she said, not moving around the sofa towards me, but staying exactly where she was.
"I can retire," I said.
She looked at me blankly. "I may have missed something, but did you require something from me?"
My mind was blank and I just stared at her for a long moment. Her skin looked even darker in the dying light of the fire and her wild curls were framing her face as was a red line from her own crown.
"If you do not, I would very much like to go to sleep," she said.
"I wanted to apologize," I said quickly.
She looked at me, waiting for more.
"I wanted to apologize for my treatment of you of late."
"I forgive you," she said and I could detect that she was saying whatever would make me depart her chambers with the most haste.
"No, truly. I have been callous towards you for months now and you do not deserve it," I said.
"It is cyclical," she said quietly. "I was not very gracious towards you in the beginning so of course it is only natural that you stop giving me any more chances."
"But you are hurting now and everyone can see it. I have been choosing to ignore it."
Her eyes immediately met mine, but they were hard. "Someone told you you should make amends with me?"
I did not reply immediately. I knew I seemed ingenuous because I had not come of my own accord and that was the truth. If Elladan and Elrohir had not sat down with me, I would have had another goblet of wine and gone straight to bed.
Before I could come up with anything acceptable to say, she was moving towards me, but past me just as quickly.
"I had been waiting and waiting for something similar to an apology and it was not even your idea," she said over her shoulder.
"Mareke," I began.
"No," she said softly and I could see her eyes welling up in the dim light from the torch near her bedroom door. "When I put Adnan to bed after our Yule celebration, I sat and waited for you for hours and you did not come. I merely wanted someone to talk to. About anything."
I took a step toward her and she shied away.
"And tonight," she began, but her voice caught in her throat. "And tonight, you practically sent me from the feast to be here alone. Why? Had I done something wrong? Embarrassed you in front of someone important? Or could you just not stand the sight of me any longer?"
She wiped away a tear that slipped down her cheek.
I was frozen where I stood, utterly ashamed of myself and could find nothing to say.
"Now if you require nothing else of me, I am going to retire," she said and before I could protest she stole into her bedroom and closed the door behind her.
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