Chapter 49: Half-truths and Regrets

Celsi's room was pitch black as the boy laid down on the cold hard floor, curled up into ball, wrapped in layers of blankets. His mentor and his partner stayed on the edge of his room, standing on the boundary separating his room from the hall. Silent sobs of his could be heard from where they stood along with the quiet matching ticks of the watch on Sera's and Zephyr's wrists.

"How long is he going to be like this?" Zephyr falsely whispered to Sera.

She didn't know; she'd never dealt with anyone as despondent as Celsi. The boy was quick to anger, quick to get sad and very impatient.

"You tribute. Your problem." She mumbled low enough for him to hear and threw a sad missed smile at the poor boy who was just another lamb to the slaughter.

Maybe if this was another year or if she didn't have other things to worry about, she'd spare some time to pity him but she couldn't.

She flipped her wrist over and checked the time again, nodding her head to herself—she had a lot of time to spare.

"Make sure he at least eats." She added as an afterthought as the door next door creaked open and light spilled out into the dim hallway. "Faline." She smiled at her own tribute and waved at her. "Ready for dinner?"

Faline bowed her head in response and pulled at the hem of her checkered blue dress. "Is he still—" Zephyr made a sound and moved away to get her a closer look at her partner.

"I don't think he'll be having dinner at this rate." Sera commented airily, hoping to get a reaction out of the boy.

He couldn't just die of starvation before he entered the arena. That used to happen in the olden days of the Games; she'd read about it in the Capitol library—most of them were desolate enough for her to get away with reading about the past that wasn't taught to non-Capitolites.

The Hunger Games were a cruel sport but comparing the present to the past—the past was far more tortuous than whatever the present threw at them. At least, the current tributes were fed properly and there was adequate compensation depending on how long a tribute survived.

None of that was a thing in the past. No training. No real food or clothes given. A tribute was plucked and sent to die with nothing but the clothes on their back.

BANG!

"Hey, if you're not gonna eat, you won't be able to get through tomorrow's interview session." Zephyr banged on Celsi's door, pulling Sera back from her thoughts. "Don't ignore me, Celsi." He banged on the door once again before settling into an organized rhythm. "Cel-si. Cel-sy. Celsiii. Celly. Cel. Celsi. Cel-sy" He kept on going; the grin on his face getting wider and wider while his eyes grew wild in silent anger.

Faline threw Sera a hurried look of concern but Sera only patted the girl's shoulder and escorted her out of the hall. "Don't worry about them, Zephyr will deal with it."

Reluctantly, the girl parted away from the hall and followed her mentor into the dining room. Sera kept her eyes open for a sign of either stylist and her own or even Creon and Emilia. No one was there so she took her seat and waited for Faline to do the same.

"Any strategies for the interview tomorrow?" Sera casually brought the interview up, knowing her tribute had been ignoring the topic. "It's your last shot at securing sponsors. Make it count—if you want or don't. I can't force your hand."

"I don't…" Faline mumbled under her breath. Her cat-like eyes trained on her plate. "I don't want any sponsors. I told you that before. I'll make it out on my own."

Sera had expected Faline to change her mind, most tributes did. The interviews were there for a reason. It was a mutual thing for both sponsors and tributes but looking at Faline's determined gaze, she had no choice but to back down.

"Okay." Still, Sera couldn't help but entertain her curious thoughts as to why her tribute didn't even want any sponsors. She toyed with the knife on her side like she toyed with the idea of pressing her for more.

Before the game prep for that year had even started, she made herself promise not to get too attached to the tributes and the best way to stop any attachments was to know as little as possible about them as possible. That didn't work quite as she planned. For one, Faline's family knew hers or at least, were acquainted with her long dead aunt who still haunted her dreams and waking moments. She couldn't exactly abandon her even if she wanted to, she couldn't.

Eying the time on her wrist, she dropped the knife and decided to pry a little into Faline's mind. "I don't get it. What's wrong with having sponsors? Everyone has them."

Faline blinked innocently, the corners of her eyes crinkled a little as her thin pale coral lips drew themselves in a line. She averted her gaze for a second, not studying Sera but rather contemplating her question before she made a sound.

"I…never said there was anything wrong…with having sponsors." Slowly, she said, being very careful with each word. She was wary of her mentor. "...I just don't want any."

"Why not?" Sera asked again, leaning closer to the girl. "Everyone has them. It's completely normal. I had them too."

"Because you needed them." That stung. She resisted the urge to curl her lips into a sneer and swallowed the bitterness. "You…weren't exactly…well."

Without her sponsored medicine, Sera would probably be dead and someone else would be sitting across from Faline. It was a tough pill to swallow but it was the truth. She just didn't like to think about it—not that she had the time to think.

"No," Sera admitted, biting the inside of her left cheek. "I wasn't. That's why sponsors are very important. Life or death—can make a huge difference."

"I don't want them." Faline repeated, a little louder than her usual tone.

Sighing, Sera plastered on a plastic smile and softened her gaze. "Faline, no matter how much you believe in yourself, it doesn't mean you won't need extra help in the arena. The trainers and I can only do so much. Besides, it's part of my job to help you secure sponsors and give you aid in the area." She at least needed to look the part of a helpful mentor.

Faline's lips quivered and she bit her bottom lip before mewling out a quiet. "I'm sorry." Her light copper tresses curtaining her face, hiding it away from Sera. "I just…I'm…scared."

"Scared?" Sera echoed, shifting closer to Faline. "Of what? Sponsors." Faline nodded. "Well, there's nothing to be scared of." The tribute said nothing in response and stayed with her head bowed. "Look, I get it's all daunting but I can assure you there's nothing to be scared of."

But she didn't believe her own words—it didn't matter, Faline wasn't going to make it out anyways.

"Are…you sure?' Sera strained her ears to hear Faline. "Are you sure they won't ask me for anything in return?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Because they're sponsors not a charity." Faline was right but no one really said the quiet part out loud. "I'm sure they want something. Leora Shelley—she was the most sponsored victor in our district, second to Estelle Clarence. I saw how miserable she was and how frequent her visits to the Capitol were, almost as frequent as yours."

Smile on Sera's face stiffened. Leora's cries echoed in the distance and the red water she almost drowned in was clear as day in front of her.

"Faline—"

"I know she'd try to kill herself after she'd come back."

"I think you might be mistaken—"

"I'm not blind or stupid." Faline carried on. "I saw her, near Lake Leuce. She'd always be there." She lifted her head, her pale copper tresses covering Sera's vision in red. "I saw her when I was gathering flowers by the lake—every single time she'd come back from the Capitol, she'd take concrete blocks she stole from the butcher's stand near the edge of the district and drag them over to the lake. I saw her, tie 'em to her feet and push herself into the river and every single time Julian Wells would save her. I saw it all! I saw—"

"T-that's…enough." Sera sucked in pained breaths, rubbing her clammy hands together. Her head was spinning and her vision was dimming before brightening up again. "How—" She swallowed. "How many people kno—have seen this?"

"I don't know."

Accepting her answer, Sera nodded. She cleared her throat. "You're right. It's a sponsorship not a…charity."

"Sera will get you three sponsors. You won't have to worry about them." Zephyr said, entering the room without a sound. He placed his hands on Sera's back and leaned in towards her. "It's okay. It's okay." He repeated quietly, only to be heard by her while discreetly rubbing her back and keeping a painted smile on his face. "Don't worry about anything else." He said to both girls.

He stepped away and took his seat next to hers. Sera didn't look at him, she kept her head up and hands under the table, trying her hardest to stop herself from shaking.

"Like Zephyr said, I'm gonna get you at least three sponsors. You won't have to worry about them."

Faline opened her mouth to protest but the double doors of the dining room were opened. Two male avoxes held the door open as Creon led the District 5 team into the dining room with Emilia and Sera's own personal stylist team at the tale of the procession.

After they took their seats, Creon started an idle chatter about a meaningless topic that Sera didn't care about but for once she was glad for it.

Sounds of metal cutlery clashing against the china and glasses clinking while alcohol and juices sloshed around, spilling some here and there, Sera almost forgot about Faline's fears.

But momentarily, she was distracted.

Between the clashes of metal and china and the chatter of over-joyful Capitolite members of her team, she could only hear the electric waterfall, the water rushing up and falling down to the smallest artificial lake she'd ever seen.

A chill passed through her like she was standing in a wintery kitchen looking outside a frost-covered window at night where a desperate shadow stood by the lake in Victors' Village.

A silhouette jumped into the lake recklessly and she let out a soft gasp, breaking herself out of her own memories. She met Zephyr's concerned gaze with a soft but lost smile and slowly took a sip of the water in her glass.

Two Peacekeepers were standing in front of the dining room doors.

When did they get here?

She didn't even notice their presence let alone see them enter the room. She kept her face blank and threw a subtle glance at her assistant and Zephyr. Both pretended the Peacekeepers weren't there.

Creon paid those two Peacekeepers no mind and clapped his hands together in glee. "I hear that tomorrow's your birthday!" He tried to muster up an enthusiastic voice part-way his voice deflated and his words came out half-nervous and half-excited. Sera resisted the urge to leave and nodded.

"Don't force yourself." Ovid solemnly said, his head low while sneaking glances across the table towards Eos. "Seraphine doesn't celebrate her birthday." Eos lifted her head for a second. "Besides, we have to focus on Faline and Celsi, speaking of…"

"Where is Celsi?" Mabel chirped up and covered her mouth immediately. Her big doll-like eyes scanned the room, shifting side to side. "I don't see that boy around. Where is he? Is he not in the mood to eat? That's no good. Tomorrow's the interview. I already have his two-piece suit. If he loses weight than he—"

"Marie." Eos sweetly called out through clenched teeth.

"Mabel." Mabel quickly corrected.

"Uh-huh." Eos nodded. "Have you considered shutting up?" She asked, sweet as the honeycomb cake in front of her. "I mean, I know it's a tough task but some of us like the quiet and you're not doing that poor boy any favors by focusing on his interview outfit only. There's more pressing things he has to worry about."

"That's not what I—"

"He's going through a lot right now. His scores are probably the only thing on his mind, not what he's going to wear tomorrow and speaking as a stylist, sometimes, you have to let tributes do what they think is the best."

"A shame he got such a low score." Emilia commented, taking out a silk fan and unfolding it with a flick of her wrist. "He's not coming out of his room till tomorrow at this point but oh well. That's life. You deal with the cards life gives you. He was even talking about silly things like consolation prizes."

"His family isn't doing too well. They barely managed to keep their home in Lux." Zephyr informed her.

"Poor boy." She said with a hiccup. "But everyone knows there are no consolation prizes. You win or di–lose."

"Emilia, are you drunk?" Sera asked and Emilia grinned in response.

"A little bit but nothing to worry about." She clapped her hands together and stood up. "Well, I got a cake. A cake. Cake for you. Birth…day cake for…Sera…phine. Whew. Time sure does fly quick. Just yesterday I met the sweetest and kindred tribute who helped me when my heels broke and let me lean on her all the way to the station and now…she's celebrating her 22nd birthday. Whew." Tears sprouted in the corner of half-moon eyes as the table around Sera burst into a soft applause.

But Sera wasn't focusing on the table, her attention still on the Peacekeepers as Finnick's promise replayed in her head.

Doors parted and the Peacekeepers moved to the sides in sync with their weapons held high, their shoulders and bodies straight. Four avoxes wheeled in a huge cart of cupcakes stacked neatly like a bouquet and stopped at the bottom of the steps leading to the dining table.

Neither avox moved to bring the cart up to the mini elevator or bring the cakes to the table. Instead, they stood with their heads bowed, dressed in pale gray-violet.

"Happy Birthday!" Creon and Emilia said at the same time.

Both paused, taken aback by the sudden synchronization between the two. Creon's eyes twitched ever so slightly, his lips pressed thinly into an awkward straight line. Emilia beamed brightly but her gaze narrowed on her successor.

"Happy Birthday!" Zephyr stood up and clapped his hands together in a circle while walking towards the cart of cakes. "Congrats on making it this far!" He looked over his shoulder and flashed a mischievous smile at her. "Honestly," He waited for a second. "I didn't think you'd make it this far but you've surprised us all. You've outlived Uriel."

"Uriel was seventy-eight Zephyr." Sera reminded him, kicking his feet under the table and he laughed. "He was around when they first started the games. Remember?"

"Oh I know. I know. He was ancient." He filled a crystal glass with champagne that the avoxes had bought even though Sera herself couldn't drink. "May he finally rest after the unfortunately long life he'd lived. Ah, right candles. Blow them out so we can all call it a day."

Sera playfully punched him and he laughed before she leaned over the spiraled stack of cupcakes. She noted each had a little flower piped on with colorful cream along with leaves. She leaned down and blew off the candles and immediately the muted applause of the District 5 team filled her ears.

"Happy Birthday." Mabel and Ovid said at the same time as Sera handed them each a cupcake before turning to give Faline two more than what she had given the stylists.

The team descended on the stack and started picking it apart. Zephyr smuggled half a dozen cupcakes, plating them onto his plate and walking out of the room but not before mouthing to Sera 'For Celsi' and leaving.

Faline had already left the room before Zephyr. Sera didn't even notice the girl was gone until she turned to ask her about her plans for tomorrow's interview. Emilia and Eos had kicked their feet on the steps leading to the dining table with Ovid bickering with Eos. Creon attempted to make conversation with Mabel.

Seeing them all busy, Sera threw a quick glance at the clock and swiped two cupcakes. She placed them into a paper box she'd found near the cart and left the room, heading straight for the stairs, not the elevators. The stairs were more subtle.

The air was crisp and the distant sounds of Capitol life below faded to a mere hum when she pushed open the thick metal door.

Sera took her place near the edge, gazing out at the sprawling city below. Invisible nets hung closely below; every now and then the nets sparked to remind anyone standing on the edge that jumping to their deaths was not a viable option.

Her fingers drummed softly on the railing as her eyes scanned the horizon, anticipation tugging at her heart. Finnick had promised to meet her here, but the minutes stretched on, and disappointment began to creep in.

A sigh escaped her lips as she realized that he might not be coming after all. Perhaps he was caught up with someone else, another distraction that pulled him away from their promise.

She had been waiting, hoping against hope that he would show up, that he would break through the shadows and stand beside her, just like he had promised. But the rooftop remained empty, and with each passing second, her disappointment grew heavier.

Her heart ached, and her fingers clenched the railing, knuckles turning white. She knew she was being foolish, that he had likely been caught up with someone else, but she couldn't help the flicker of hurt that danced beneath her skin.

And then, a soft voice shattered her thoughts. "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was up here."

It wasn't Finnick.

It was a girl, her dark hair framing her face, her eyes a mix of curiosity and uncertainty. But there was a slight hint of roughness to her along with innocence and suspicion. Sera blinked, her mind piecing together recognition.

Katniss.

The girl who had captured the entire nation's attention.

Katniss.

Not Finnick.

"It's alright. I was just...taking a breather. It gets a little too much. I'm sure you know what I mean." Sera shook her head, offering a small smile.

Like a wary fawn, Katniss took a tentative step forward. Suspicion on her face as she studied Sera from head to toe before she took a few steps forward. "I can leave you alone if you want me to."

"It's fine. You can stay." Sera said, almost commanded in a soft voice. Katniss turned around to look at her as Sera tucked her loose hair behind her ears. The lights of the city almost bathed her in an eerie glow. "There's plenty of space for two people. I'm sure you also need a little breather too."

Katniss stared at her before nodding. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me." Sera watched as Katniss came close to the railing. She took the furthest spot away from Sera but still close enough that she could observe her. "Congrats on your Training Score by the way."

Katniss blinked, visibly surprised that Sera knew who she was. "Thank you. Do...do we know each other?"

Sera shook her head, her eyes lingering on the horizon for a moment longer. "Not really but everyone knows you. Katniss Everdeen from District 12. The first volunteer in decades from that district, quite the scene you and your sister made at the Reaping. Oh and the parade. A very fiery entrance, quite unforgettable—you and your partner. You're the girl of the hour." She paused, her voice and gaze softening. "It must be very intimidating for you. All those eyes and I bet everyone's got something to say about you."

"I wouldn't really know."

"I'm sure Haymitch's got things covered."

"He's trying."

"That's more than enough coming from him."

"You know him?"

"A little." Not much. He did leave a very long lasting first impression on her. More intelligent than anyone really gave him credit for. "He's not bad despite what everyone says about him. Just…trust him on what he does. He's trying."

"It sounds like you know him more than just a little."

"Nope." Sera cradled the box of cupcakes close to her chest and stared out into the quiet city. "I'm just…observant and a fairly good judge of character. I know people."

"No but the way you talk about him, it's like you two were friends or acquaintances."

Sera snorted. "I don't think he'd like a friend like me so no, we're not friends."

"You just know people." Katniss echoed back slowly and Sera nodded. "Whatever that means."

"It means I know how people really are with just one look. I have practice."

"Then what do you see in me?" Katniss asked, a little defeated. "Do you see someone who's gonna win?"

"What do you think?" Sera questioned in turn. "Winners don't look the same. Though you sure do have that fire they have in your eyes. But you also don't want to be here."

"I don't think anyone wants to be here." Katniss mumbled, pulling her sleeve. She stared at the sparked up net just as it was dimming. Maybe contemplating to jump or fascinated by the net.

"No?" Sera turned her head to Katniss. "But you volunteered. It's all everyone talks about."

"I didn't have a choice." Katniss gasped out, lifting her head up to glare at Sera.

"I know." Sera said, not looking at Katniss. "You didn't do it for the glory or the fame. You did it for your sister. If things were different, I'd be alone up here but they're not. I'm almost jealous of her—your sister."

"You're jealous of her? You're…" Katniss wetted her drying lips and whipped her head to the side as she took in huge gulps of air. Sera watched her from the corner of her eyes. Her eyes were moist with tears and lips quivered like she was going to cry but the rage in her reddened gaze told Sera otherwise. "How can you be jealous of her? She—"

"I said I was almost jealous of her." Sera smoothly cut her off with a nonchalant tone like Katniss' cocktail of emotions of rage and sadness meant nothing to her. "Not that I am. It's a double-edged decision to volunteer for your sibling. You lose and your sister blames herself." Katniss flinched like Sera had cut her. "Or you win and go back. I'm just jealous no one stood up for me." She let out a small laugh, remembering that Talissa had just passed the age of Reaping a year or two before Sera's Reaping. "But they really couldn't so I can't blame anyone."

The rage bubbling inside of Katniss collapsed and disappeared, leaving her feeling a mix of pity and confusion. "You're…a former victor."

Sera smiled in response, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Maybe."

"So you are?" Sera shrugged and Katniss let out a laugh. "Are all victors supposed to be so…"

"Irritating?" Sera finished for her and Katniss nodded. "Depends. I'm just in a strange mood tonight. I'm usually a lot nicer. I swear, I am. Congrats again. I do mean it. You seem like a nice person and your sister, she needs you—I know how important family is, so I hope you make it out." She offered another small smile, more genuine than the other smiles.

Katniss shifted uncomfortably, her eyes flickering down to her shoes before looking back at Sera. "Were you waiting for someone?" Katniss asked, her voice softening as she attempted to change the topic. Sera almost grinned. Katniss was smart.

Sera nodded, her gaze dropping to the cupcake she had brought with her. "Yeah, but it looks like they won't be showing up." The disappointment she had been trying to bury resurfaced in her words, but she forced it back, focusing on the girl in front of her.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Sera said. She couldn't let herself unravel in front of a stranger.

There was a pause, and she took out a cupcake from the box with snowdrops piped on top, holding it up towards Katniss. "Cupcake?"

"I'm good. Thanks."

"It's my birthday cupcake." Sera held the cupcake towards her again. "It'd be a shame to eat cake here alone."

Katniss' guard wavered, and she found herself reaching out. "Sure." She took the cupcake with a shaky swipe. Neither spoke another word as the two watched the other, silently observing.

The younger girl was careful, stand-offish and flighty but friendly enough to put on a front. Well, she had to be. She didn't know anyone. She just wanted to go back home to her sister.

"I never caught your name by the way." Katniss lifted her head after she was done with the cupcake. She folded the paper case and stared at Sera, waiting for her to introduce. "You know who I am but I don't know who you are."

"Ah. That was rude of me, not introducing myself." She put down her half-eaten cupcake back into the box. "You can call me Sera."

"That's not your name."

"It is. My actual name is a mouthful and I'm kinda sick of hearing people here overuse it." Sera took the empty crumpled paper case from Katniss' hands, noticing the calluses on her fingers and thumbs that lingered even with the beauty treatment of the Capitol.

An archer.

"Just call me Sera. It's easier." Katniss nodded, not backing off. She should've backed off.

Her eyes on the door, still hoping that maybe Finnick would come through the darkness but he didn't. She pursed her lips and checked the time again, past midnight. She could feel Katniss watching her every careful move but she made no move to acknowledge her.

For a second, Sera regretted her choice and regretted sweeping up the poor girl in front of her. She withdrew herself and took a few steps back, creating distance between the two before she turned away to look at the sleeping city that came alive when the clock went past midnight.

Katniss didn't even know about the storm brewing, too busy worrying about forest fire in front of her.

Plant Dictionary:

Snowdrop - Hope