Chapter 48 - 10/25/2023

Thick smoke continues to rise from the burning fire. Broken ceiling parts, sharp metal objects, fallen wooden beams and debris of all sorts on the floor made each move painful. Another blast could be heard. The structure is still holding but it won't be for long. That's the least of her concern when she has others to worry about, her lover trapped in the basement and the ones who want them dead.

"Uh oh. Get up. He's coming. Move. Shoot. Oh c'monn!"

No more bullets left. That always happens. That's to make it more suspenseful.

"What the eff?"

That is a bad ending. How did he get out of the basement? CJ is right. It is written by men, 2 of them and directed by a man. They just had to make the man the hero at the end, saving his girlfriend who had warned him very early on that his friends cannot be trusted. That is a crappy story but there's no need to get this upset about it. It's just a movie.

"This is why they think we are weak, can't live without men, expect us to cook and clean..."

Criticizing it is normal but it seems that CJ is taking this too seriously. She's thinking of making her own movie?

For the past 40 days, Nadia has learned a lot about CJ but still can't figure out what she's thinking of most of the time. CJ said she's not getting back together with Bryan yet she still texts him. CJ said she doesn't like to cook yet asked to be shown how to make something and gets very excited each time. CJ said she's getting bored of this job yet she's still here. Now she's thinking of writing a story about Amy? For someone who seems to be always one step ahead, she should know why she can't so why is she asking for Amy's permission when she knows what the answer would be. Maybe it's to get Amy to stop looking at the rain? If that is her intention, then she succeeded. Amy left the living room without responding to her question which means the answer is no and she thinks the question is ridiculous. It is ridiculous. It's even more ridiculous to think that CJ's plan in getting Lucy back here would work. It didn't and now it seems like CJ has given up.

"This one's good. Lara Croft, Tomb Raider."

For someone who's hired to look after Amy, she's not doing a very good job. "What're you doing?" Nadia asked because at this moment, she would like CJ to stop acting so excited to watch a movie that she obviously had seen before.

"another movie" CJ said.

It's hard to tell if CJ is kidding since she's chomping on the pear like nothing is wrong. She should know why Amy was looking at the non-stop rain. It could be the movie ending that made her think of her own situation. It could also be the call from Janet earlier. For someone who was thinking of having a baby over a year ago, it would be impossible not to think about that again especially after talking with Zander.

"Do you have any more ideas?" Nadia asked, wondering if CJ is acting like she no longer cares because she didn't agree with the suggestions that she made the last time. CJ's last suggestion to threaten Lucy with divorce might sound like a good idea but that would never work since Amy doesn't want to and Lucy knows that. Lying to Lucy that Amy is seriously sick would be ssso wrong. It's just not a good idea. Asking the last question doesn't seem to be a good idea either since CJ didn't respond. "Have you talked to Bryan lately?" This time, CJ responded but how is it possible that she doesn't know what Lucy is doing and if she's still in Iceland?

"He can't say."

Sometimes, CJ makes sense. Sometimes, she doesn't. "Why not? He told you last time." CJ has a very good explanation. It's because Bryan was told not to. But CJ is either lying or was told not to because Amy just came back and asked with an accusatory tone if she knew Lucy came back. CJ denied having any knowledge which could be the truth. But why would Lucy came back without letting Amy know? "She must have a good reason." Nadia said, immediately regretting it after getting 2 pairs of different color eyes glaring at her. "There's no reason why she wouldn't if she-" Nadia gasped after a realization hit her. "How did you find out? Did someone call you? Do they have her? What do they want?..."

Asking CJ was to confirm. CJ could be lying and Nadia is definitely still traumatized from the last time when Lucy was taken. This is why she can't know everything but now, it seems like a mistake. It is a mistake. "Sorry" Amy said, holding Nadia in a hug to stop her from freaking out. There is no reason why Lucy wouldn't and there's no reason why Nadia can't know the truth about Holly. "Listen to me…"

Spies are among us, living as ordinary citizens. That's a known fact. Holly isn't a spy, at least not by choice. She, like her brother, got involved because of her father who never thought that he would be killed by those whom he worked for. Leaving was the only way out for Holly who found out that her brother made a deal with the one in charge which includes using her to get close to anyone who might know about the key. If it wasn't for Dr. Stubbendick aka Dr. S, the doctor whom she recognized as the one who treated her father years ago in the emergency room, she wouldn't have quit working at the children's hospital so suddenly. If it wasn't for her brother whom she had no contact with for many years, she never would have gone to the emergency room at St Quinn's hospital to see why he would be there. If she had not, she would not have been able to save Lucy from Jehan.

"She said Holly didn't know she was being followed." Holly didn't say that but Niki did. That's what Lucy said. But whether it's true or not, it doesn't matter. What matters is what Nadia wants to do and it looks like giving her too much information is not the right thing to do since she's looking like she's having an anxiety attack. "Breathe" Amy takes the box of tissue from the coffee table.

"Where is she?" Nadia said with a uncontrollable squeal since it's difficult to talk with all the water streaming down her face and nose.

Oh Nadia. After everything you've been told, you still don't know? Sometimes, the brain can't think when it's overwhelmed. "She's been taking care of Will." By now, she should know why she was told to go there only at daytime and only on certain days. Lucy was the one who said not to tell her because "She said if you two were meant to be together, then you will run into her. I thought so too but you know what I realized, fate doesn't happen on its own. Nothing will happen if you just sit there. If you want to be with her, you need to tell her to stop feeling sorry." If she had been more like Alexis, she would've ran into Holly two months ago. But this isn't the time to do what Alexis would. It's raining out. It's not just that, there's no need to go out. "CJ, tell her, my body cannot wait. I will not wait anymore. Nadia will not wait anymore. Tell her and Holly to get here by 10 or it's over." Amy again held onto Nadia who obviously doesn't like the idea since she's shaking her head. That's because she hasn't seen Holly with tears and multiple apologies. "Trust me" That is strange to ask, considering she has been lied to for months. It's difficult to trust CJ too since sending a text should not be difficult so why did she just say oopsies? "What?"

"I…sent it to Bryan by mistake. Now he thinks I want to get back together."

What? CJ must not have typed the message word for word because how could Bryan have misinterpret that? The next message is clear but like CJ predicted, it didn't work. It's not only because it's raining out. It's also because CJ sent the message to Anthony who thinks that tonight would not be a good time. Tomorrow night would be better.

Tomorrow night is better in terms of the weather. It rained again but only lightly, on and off. But whether it's today or a week from now, Lucy will never stop blaming herself for being responsible for Brooke's death. That's what Anthony said on the phone but he didn't say how Lucy found out and only explained that she needed more time to get herself together before calling.

There she is, looking at the night sky near the balcony just like Anthony said but he didn't say there's a woman with her. There will be time to ask who she is later. It's more important to ask :

"When are you planning to come back?" Amy asked, knowing that she should've waited until they're alone but she did so deliberately to show Lucy that she's not willing to wait anymore since Anthony kept last night's message from her. It's also to show whoever this woman is that she should hurry up and leave right now. Both she and Anthony did and looks like Lucy wasn't expecting me, just like he said.

"Sorry…"

Getting more than just an apology is expected but not self-criticism. Like most people, Lucy criticizes herself but Lucy never calls herself a jerk, a bad person, a grim reaper or a devil in disguise. What?

"I…killed Brooke."

Ohh Lucy.

"I…killed my mother."

"What?" Amy didn't get an answer and instead got a lot of names including the childhood friend that she has heard about which is absolutely ridiculous. Her mother died of an illness. Her childhood friend committed suicide from depression after being sexually assaulted by a pedophile doctor. Will is in a coma, not dead. But Lucy is blaming herself for her condition. "Stop it. You didn't know. It's not your fault."

Lucy didn't stop. She doesn't want to be touched either which is strange because according to Anthony, they've been back for a week so there's no need for isolation, no need to wear a mask, and no need to worry about the virus. All of these reasons would've made sense including the one given by Anthony last night but it seems that Lucy has another reason for hiding herself here. It hurts to find out the first time. It hurts even more now.

After that day in the basement in New Jersey, she didn't ask about it because there were many more important things to worry about. Where to go? What to do with Will? Is anyone still after us? When to meet with Scud? After settling down in Toronto, all she wanted to do was move on because like Dr. Hazel said, hypnosis doesn't always work. What Lucy said while under hypnosis in the underground hideout in Molokai might not be true. She and Brooke were together many years ago. So it's very possible what Lucy said about their intimate moment took place years ago, not after she lost her memory. But now, the four simple words proved that Dr. Hazel was wrong. It proved that Lucy was lying when she said she was pretending to be hypnotized on that day in the basement. It proved that this mind isn't as strong and sharp as it used to be since it couldn't handle surprises like this. The heart is still pounding. The legs haven't moved. The mind has no idea what to do or what to say, just letting Lucy leave, as if that's what it wants. That may be what it wants but there are still many questions left unanswered. With both hands rolled into fists, Amy stomped out with the intention to yell at Lucy until she couldn't see anyone in the hallway. Knocking on each room crossed her mind until she remembered there are others in this house. Besides, it would be better to go downstairs to get more information first.

"What happened in Iceland?" Something must have since Bryan wasn't even allowed to say when they came back.

"What did she say?"

Now it's obvious that something did otherwise why would he say that? Why would Holly call last night if she doesn't think there's someone wrong with Lucy? "She said she's the devil in disguise. She blamed herself for her mother's death."

"She said that?"

"Yes" Sometimes lying is necessary but why would he think I'm lying now?

"It's going to take some time but she'll get over it."

What? As Lucy's friend, he shouldn't be saying anything that Lucy doesn't want him to but he should know Lucy isn't as tough as he is so why is he being so tight-lipped about it? "She blamed herself for Will and everyone she knows that's dead."

"She'll be fine."

"She said she cheated on me! Now she wants a divorce! Does that sound fine to you!" Clear enough? Loud enough? It is. It's loud enough to be heard by the woman she previously saw, Faith. It seems that Faith isn't just his nurse since no nurse would dare go against her own boss's command unless she's planning to quit. She knows what happened?

"Don't. We can't. She has to do that if she wants her to know." Anthony said.

"What she needs now is forgiveness, not just someone who understands her, not someone who agrees with her. You should know that better than anyone. How long did it take you get over her?"

Her? Is she referring to his one-night stand? Whatever their relationship is, it seems that Faith can no longer keep it to herself since she's complaining about his insensitivity, his know-it-all attitude, his lies, his fake pineapple allergy? Whoever she's referring to, it seems to have an effect since Anthony has nothing to say.

"c'mon"

Amy allowed her forearm to be held onto and followed while taking a glance back to see why Anthony has changed so much. The last time she saw him, he's still the same difficult to persuade, know-it-all boss. Now he's not looking that tough, just looking at Faith as if he knows there's nothing he can say or do to stop her from talking. Who is she? If she is his nurse, then what is she still doing here? He's all better. If she is just a nurse, then how come she knows about Brooke's condition, what she was feeling before and after she met Lucy again? How come she knows so much about Lucy and yet she just found out she's married? Why is she talking so fast? What's the hurry?

"I don't know everything but I know the quicker you forgive her, the faster it'll heal. The longer you take, the more serious it could get. Only you can fix her broken heart."

Broken heart. That's the second time she used that term, once to describe the cause of Brooke's death and now she thinks the same thing will happen to Lucy. Why? Wasn't Brooke's illness related to genetics? Broken heart syndrome is when the heart muscle suddenly weakens, caused by severe emotional or physical stress but it's not known to cause death especially for someone that young. So does she mean depression? Depression can lead to mental illness. Mental illness can lead to death. But Lucy wouldn't hurt herself. So what is she talking about? Amy didn't ask and instead continued down the hallway with the intention to knock on Lucy's door until she was told to wait by Anthony. It's not because he doesn't approve. It's because he finally realized which is more important, breaking his promise to Lucy or Lucy.

Lucy's confession hurts but not as much as Anthony's explanation. "I'm not leaving." Amy signaled Faith and Anthony to leave since it's difficult to say what's on her mind with both of them here and her eyes drowning with tears. "I forgive you. Okay? I forgive you. You hear me?" Cheating is unforgivable. She had always thought. But this time, it is. "I'm tired. Lucy. I don't care anymore. I just want to be with you. All right?" All this time, she had thought that Lucy went back to Reyjavik to help her remember so she could find the key for Adalyn and for Will. Never did she think that there's another reason. "It's not your fault." It was shocking to learn that Max has been found alive but it feels like that moment all over again when she found out about Max's demise. "whatever happens, it's not your fault. You did everything you could. Max will understand. Max will -" There she is, looking surprised, probably surprised that Anthony broke his promise; And confused, probably confused as to why she's been easily forgiven; then apologetic which she should be.

Amy moved in for a hug but that didn't last long enough before she could say anything. Coming here was Anthony's idea. Prior to coming, she knew what she wanted to say and how to say it so there won't be an argument but now she's not sure how to deal with this Lucy since she's behaving like someone with mental illness who believes she's plagued with misfortune that will spread to anyone she touches, anyone she cares about, and anyone who cares about her.

"I used to feel the same way too after my parents died. Things happen. Things we can't control." Forgiveness didn't work. This doesn't seem to be working either. She's shaking her head.

"I...killed Brooke."

Why does she keep saying that?

"I…killed...Ezz."

Meanwhile

Anthony exhaled a long deep breath after getting off the phone with Jake since nothing is turning out the way he expected. The trip to Iceland was to get away from the chaos back in the states. He never expected Lucy to go there because there's no reason for her to. That's what he had thought until he learned why Lucy hasn't yet given up looking for the key. It was surprising to learn what she had to do to convince those who are after the key that she doesn't know anything about the key. It was even more shocking to find out why Schaeffer wants the key. But the most shocking of all is finding out what happened to Max. Regret. That's how he felt, regretted to have yelled at Amy all those times. And now, he regretted setting up this meeting tonight instead of this afternoon because if he had, Faith wouldn't have found out.

Getting the stare for more than a few minutes, Anthony tried again, hoping another apology will get Faith to see that he only did what he thought was right even though he still doesn't entirely agree with her. But she is right about the pineapple allergy. If he had accepted the cause of his ex's death was due to pineapple allergy not poison from his enemies, he wouldn't have been avoiding pineapple like a plague and wouldn't have blamed himself all these years. If he had paid more attention to his other ex, she wouldn't have came back as a trans-man to get revenge. The outcome would've been more serious than just his security team getting diarrhea. If he had been more sensitive, he would've realized sooner that this Lucy isn't the same one that had gone thru a lot worse than this. She might not be but he believes that Lucy will get thru this. "You're right." There's no need to tell her how he really feels because she is right about this. The quicker Lucy gets help, the quicker she will feel better.

"Why didn't you tell me she's married?"

That's what she's upset about? Why does it matter? Anthony didn't ask and instead blame it on Lucy while wondering if she's into Lucy since in the past week, they've been closer than they were in Iceland.

She said not to? "Do you do everything she says?" Faith asked just to let him know how ridiculous his response is.

"I didn't think that was important." It's not but clearly, it is to Faith who's looking like she took an energy pill since she's rambling again. But she's right. If she knew about Amy, she would have a lot more to say to comfort Lucy. But there's no need to get this upset about it. As much as he would like to know if she's into Lucy, there's no need to ask because time will tell. Besides, this isn't the time and there are more important things to talk about. Even though now might not be the right time to let her know but after what just happened, he can feel what's coming. So the only way is to sincerely ask her to stay for a few more months before she decides to quit like Jake did. "It's for your safety…and you can help her." The first reason might not be enough so he's hoping the second reason would.

Amy's message didn't work but she's right. All it took was one step, face to face, with Holly to make those tears pour down and those lips to apologize repeatedly. Coming here was to see what Holly wants, continue or end the relationship. An explanation wasn't expected so getting more than just an answer was overwhelming but at the same time, she can feel closer to Holly more than she has ever been before. Not everything makes sense though since not everything was mentioned. If Holly doesn't want to talk about it, that's fine.

"Nadia"

If she wants to talk about it now, that's fine too. "hmm?" Nadia continued to let her eyelids rest.

"I do love you."

There were doubts since that day she left. There is none now. All is forgiven. But forgiven doesn't mean she'll be able to forget the past. Who can? It's hard to imagine what her life was like after finding out what her father was involved in. The change must have been so dramatic, she must have lost trust in everyone because why else would she have continued to keep it from Lucy after all these years? According to Amy, she is still unwilling to tell Lucy about her brother and father's involvement with the organization, one that he joined voluntarily but didn't realize it was for life and would include his family. Why else would she still keep it to herself? Is it because of me? If she's afraid the truth will change how I feel, then she should now know there's no need to anymore.

Nadia was about to respond with the 3 words of love until she heard something else which wasn't clear since her right ear was resting against Holly's chest.

"I proposed because I want to be with you, not for any other reason."

It wasn't obvious then but it was since an hour ago.

"She said I would regret it if I didn't follow my heart."

Amy? Lucy? or Niki?

Nadia didn't ask since both ears heard another sound, the sound of nervousness. A long breath followed by silence means there's something else, something that she doesn't want to say. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Everything she wanted to know, she already found out from Amy. Everything except that Holly ran into her ex-boyfriend. "Wait, why, why are you telling me this?" It's rude to interrupt when she finally found the courage but it sounds like their relationship isn't over even though she said they broke up a long time ago.

"I don't want you to find out from someone else."

That's a good reason. She has changed but doesn't she know by now that none of that matters? Apparently not since she's still talking about him and how she met him thru Niki who was in the same situation she was. It's good to know that Niki isn't as bad as she seemed but this new information needs to stop.

"It doesn't matter. I don't care who you were with. I don't care if he's a guy or girl. I don't care if you were married. I-" Nadia didn't continue after getting interrupted by 3 quick no's. That's because Holly felt the need to clarify that her relationship with her ex was nowhere near the point of marriage and more importantly they never had sex. The end of their relationship began after he blamed her for lying about her inability to have kids. What! What a jerk.

"I didn't lie. I just didn't think it would matter."

She's right. It shouldn't matter but to most guys, it does. That might not be the only thing she kept from him. Her intention for talking about this now makes more sense. It's because she's afraid if would happen again if she continues to hide her past. This will let her know it won't. "Nothing is going to change this." Nadia moved in for a kiss, then another and another until she heard another confession that would've caused her tears to come out if she had not heard from Amy beforehand. Kissing, touching, stripping?

"Nothing else happened"

Nothing else happened is good but even if they did, it won't change anything. But it might for Amy. Does she know? Amy had said before that Holly left her brother after their father passed away because she found out that her brother wanted to use her to get information about the key. Does she know that Holly was sent to Lucy as a prostitute, preparing to do whatever it's necessary to find the key?

"I'm sorry"

There's no need to apologize. It was so long ago. The long moment of silence must have made her think that it matters. It doesn't. The past cannot be changed but this should make her feel better. "me too" Never did she think of telling Holly about her past with Lucy. This is a good reason to.