A Nice Conversation
Lavender went to bed as soon as her hair was dry (which took a while, as she had to do it the Muggle way with a hairdryer). She hadn't even started her essay, of course, let alone the mountain of homework Snape had landed them with.
She woke up again at just before eleven and needed five minutes to realise that the soft growling noise near her was not coming from Hermione's cat, but from her own stomach. Parvati had been right, of course: Lavender was almost dying of hunger.
Quietly, so as not to wake the others, she got out of bed, put on her robe and secretly made her way to the kitchen. She had already established the best relations with the house elves there and now filled her belly with the good lamb from the evening. Her pockets full of chocolate frogs and jelly slugs, she then leisurely made her way back. Lavender, unlike other sneaky night walkers, was never afraid of being caught. Either Filch, the caretaker, brought caught students to Severus' office, or he patrolled the corridors himself—and both were part of her greatest dreams.
But this time, unfortunately, she was "lucky" as well and arrived, as she did every time, unnoticed at the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Cordis Leonis," she murmured, and the picture swung aside to allow her entry into the Gryffindor common room. There, unexpectedly, she found herself face to face with Parvati, and both girls let out a shrill scream, only to burst into unrestrained laughter the next moment.
"So, what did I say?" asked Parvati, eyes flashing with exuberance. "You mooched from the house-elves again!"
"Because I was starving," Lavender added with a giggle. Her anger at her friend was suddenly completely gone.
"Blimey, I worry about you every time!" Parvati moaned. "Just let me know next time!"
You wish!, Lavender thought to herself. "So? Homeworkey ready?" she asked in a casual tone.
"Well," Parvati said drawling. "Maybe tomorrow … played a game of chess with Ron, it took forever!"
"And lost big!" suspected Lavender.
"Right."
Giggling, the girls snuggled together in their favourite armchair right in front of the fireplace, Lavender unwrapped her sweets and they talked about their holidays, their classmates and the upcoming celebrations and parties. Even the analysis of the Potions lesson was finally caught up on, as if that unpleasant conversation a few hours ago had never happened. Suddenly everything seemed to be as it used to be; so perfect that Lavender in her relief felt a lump in her throat.
The next day dragged on like chewing gum, but at the same time it just flew by. Once again, Lavender could hardly eat anything and she was so nervous that she only messed things up. In Charms, she almost beat Neville Longbottom to death with a chair when she was supposed to be just letting her quill float over the table. And in Herbology, much to Professor Sprout's disapproval, she chopped half the head off a mandrake, the deafening shriek of which could still be heard in the West Tower, as Ginny gleefully informed her at lunch.
"Remember, you'll have to skip dinner anyway!" Parvati reminded her, at the sight of the three lonesome baby carrots on Lavender's plate. Detention with Snape usually started at seven o'clock as he found that a penalty was much more effective on an empty stomach.
"I couldn't eat then anyway," groaned Lavender. "God, I'm so excited!"
"Come on, it's not your first detention," Parvati said, her voice lowered, so no one would listen.
"But he will terribly take me down for being in class against his will," Lavender replied, looking urgently at her friend.
"Well, I'm sure, he won't be that …" began Parvati, interrupting herself, "Oh—speak of the devil!"
"Where!" cried Lavender, turning so abruptly that she slammed her elbow into the side of Ron beside her, who doubled over in pain.
"Guess where," replied Parvati quietly. Snape had entered the Great Hall and taken a seat at the High Table, which stood on a kind of pedestal above all the others. They were both seeing him for the first time since their first lesson yesterday, and Parvati felt her stomach. And how she felt it! This can't be happening now, she thought. I wanted this to stop!
Snape had just filled his plate and let his gaze wander over the hall before he began to eat. Parvati had the feeling that his eyes stayed with them for a while longer than with most of the others. But it was difficult to gauge that at a distance.
Lavender, who was almost squeezing Parvati's hand into mush under the table, felt it too, of course. "How am I supposed to survive this," she muttered. "It's not just that I'm afraid of him …"
"You don't say!" Parvati laughed. "I think your main problem is what to wear tonight, am I right?"
"Will you help me?" Lavender asked relieved.
"Of course!"
In the afternoon, the girls had separate classes. Parvati went to Transfiguration after lunch, which Lavender had not been admitted to because of her poor OWL grade. Instead, she had Flying lesson at four o'clock, a subject she looked forward to extraordinarily and which hardly any of the older ones took, except for the members of the Quidditch teams. The only annoying thing was that during the lesson, situations from Quidditch matches were often re-enacted, and she was constantly reminded that she hadn't managed to make it into the Gryffindor team all these years. Lavender could fly like hell; there was just always someone else who was deemed better than her and was given precedence.
Draco Malfoy seemed to be well informed about Lavender's situation, as always. His superior smile was already flashing at her when she was one of the last to enter the square, broom shouldered.
"Well, Brown," he greeted her with a sneer. "You never give up, do you? But maybe you'll finally make it into the team this year!" He furrowed his brow in played pity. "It's just a shame Madam Hooch isn't a man you can beguile with those pretty little legs of yours!"
"Shut up, Malfoy!" Lavender said coldly and simply walked past him. Just don't let him provoke you!
"But what am I talking about?" he called after her, grinning insolently. "Your great parents will fix it, won't they?" In a way that everyone could hear it, of course.
Lavender stopped and turned around. "Look who's talking!" she said in a mocking voice. "Who bought you into the team here? You can't do anything without your daddy! At least, he doesn't have to wipe your butt, does he?" She grinned with satisfaction as the superiority on his face turned to anger.
Draco put down his broom and slowly approached her. Lavender noticed with surprise that he was suddenly half a head taller than her—previously it had been the other way round. "Now watch this," he hissed at her and gave her a light push in front of the chest.
"Hey, don't touch me, you creep!"
"Don't touch her!" roared Harry and Ron at the same time, running towards Draco.
Immediately, Draco pulled out his wand and pointed it at Harry. "Stay out of this!" he said, his lips narrowed in anger. "Or you want to puke slugs?"
Harry and Ron stood rooted to the spot, and Draco turned back to Lavender. "Just you sneak into the Gryffindor team, you little bitch," he muttered. "Then I'll kick your ass, you betcha!" He placed his wand on Lavender's cheekbone and gently slid it down her face to her collarbone, from where he whipped it away in a lascivious gesture.
Lavender backed away violently, almost tripping over her own feet. She was still struggling for words when Harry snapped at Draco, "Man, just piss off!"
The two were on the verge of of having a real fight, but luckily Madam Hooch appeared at that moment and started the lesson. The first thing she did was to have the students take a big loop around the square on their brooms to warm up. Lavender made sure to stay away from Draco, enjoying this unique feeling of whizzing through the air and feeling the breeze on her face. She loved to fly and it had been hard for her to go without for eight long weeks.
Madam Hooch started by repeating some of the figures they had learnt at the end of last year, such as spinning around the axis of the broom while maintaining a certain direction of flight. Lavender noted with satisfaction how stupid most of the others were at this. Draco even seemed really scared; he was wobbling around helplessly and completely went off course. Ron didn't fare much better either, almost flying into a tree. Harry just managed to yell a warning at him.
After the lesson, Madam Hooch announced the try-outs for the new Quidditch members for Friday afternoon. Lavender had applied to her, as she did every year, she would risk life and limb like she did every year and would surely get a rejection afterwards. Draco looked over at her with an arrogant expression and Lavender would have liked to fly at his face.
I'll have to try again, for that butthead over there alone. Maybe I have a real chance this time. After all, all the Chasers and Beaters of the Gryffindor team finished school last year …
On the way to the castle Lavender thanked Harry and Ron for their support against Draco Malfoy."Any time ," Ron assured her. "If you promise to be less violent during Quidditch than during food intake …"
"Huh?" Lavender made blankly.
Ron pulled up his T-shirt and showed Lavender a spot in his rib area that had a slight bluish colour. "This is your handiwork," he explained. "Today at lunch, remember?"
"Nah," Lavender said, concerned. "Why didn't you say anything? Hey, I'm really sorry about that! Won't happen again!"
"Well, that's a relief!" Ron grinned at Lavender, and she suddenly found him really acceptable. His red hair was now so long that it touched his shoulders, and he actually had beard growth. Was Parvati perhaps right, and the milk faces from her class were no longer milk faces …? At least they all seemed to have grown a good bit—Ron towered over Lavender by almost a head and had lost some of his gawkiness.
It was nearly six o'clock when Lavender came rushing into the common room. Parvati was sitting at a table with Hermione and had actually already managed to fill one of the three required rolls of parchment. Hermione, of course, had long since finished the essay and had turned to the tasks Snape had given them.
Parvati proudly held the parchment out to her friend, but she only tapped her wristwatch with a haunted look.
"Okay." Sighing, Parvati got up and made her way to the dormitory with Lavender, who immediately got rid of her sports clothes and marched into the bathroom. Parvati followed her and settled down on the red-terry covered toilet lid where she listened to Lavender's report of the Flying lesson.
"Malfoy is such an arrogant asshole!" she commented.
"Oh yes!" it came emphatically from the shower. "This is going to be fun, now not only does Severus have it in for me, but his fine godson does too! But what he did with that wand …" Lavender stuck her wet head out from behind the curtain, "unfortunately he was the wrong person, but it was awesome!"
"Yeah, sounds really tingly" Parvati agreed, "such a Slytherin's wand an inch away from your eye …"
"Ah, you know what I mean! Pass me that towel over there!" Lavender got out of the shower and rubbed herself dry frantically. "Oh God, I can't do all this anymore! Actually, I just washed my hair yesterday, but after the sweating I just did …"
"Now calm down!" Parvati said. "You don't have much to do. I'll dry your hair and put your lotion on you!"
"Oh, man, you're so sweet," Lavender said, moved, and left it to her friend's quick hands to massage the cream resolutely but gentle into her skin. "Did I already tell you how excited I am?"
"Why, actually?", Parvati wanted to know with a shrug. "Detentions with Snape are so boring! He gives you the job, disappears into his apartment and leaves you sitting in the office. You'll hardly get to see him! Quite the opposite of lessons."
"But I'm alone with him," Lavender countered.
"So, what do you hope to get out of it?" Parvati paused in her movement and examined her friend in the mirror.
"Getting closer to him, maybe," Lavender said, a little embarrassed.
"Closer?" asked Parvati, dumbfounded and with eyes wide open. "What do you mean by that? Isn't it enough for you to drool over him anymore?"
"Not really," Lavender confessed. "For starters, I'd settle for … a nice conversation! I just hope you won't be mad then!"
Again Parvati shrugged and stifled a grin. What would she be mad about? Nice conversation, my arse … but Snape is going to give Lavender a good talking to, that's guaranteed! Besides, he would never, ever get involved with a student! But she couldn't bring herself to deprive the excited Lavender of her illusion.
"Well, good luck to you," she said. "So, what you're gonna wear?"
Fifteen minutes later, Lavender set off to Snape's office, which, like the classroom, was also in the dungeons. After first considering whether she should provoke Severus, she had finally agreed with Parvati on a more harmless solution. So, her outfit was discreet and above all warm—jeans, trainers, robe—but she had put on a subtle eye make-up and wore her long hair down. Once in the dungeon, she stopped in front of the large mirror at the foot of the stairs and checked her appearance one last time.
And Lavender was more than pleased with herself. Her lips and cheeks, although without make-up, were slightly reddened and her light brown eyes shone almost amber today. Her hair was just perfect, as it always was when Parvati had dried it for her with the wand. Airy and loose, it fell in gentle waves down her back and reached almost to her waist in all possible shades. The top hairs had taken on a dark blonde honey tone thanks to consistent sunbathing, while those underneath had retained their dark colour. "The purest eye-catcher!" Parvati had remarked admiringly.
Lavender stopped in front of the massive wooden door and, heart pounding, lifted the door-knocker and let it fall three times.
"Come in!" it rasped from inside.
As usual, Lavender almost broke her hands on the stiff handle, and the door didn't open easily either. But that was the way it had to be. If Snape had played the gentleman, it would have shaken her world view to its very foundations.
Severus Snape sat at his desk, a quill between his long fingers, facing her. "Miss Brown," he said unkindly, pointing to a chair in front of his desk. "Sit down! We have something to discuss!"
Lavender stepped closer and quickly lowered herself onto the chair before her circulation gave up the ghost. My God, what's next? Her heart was beating like mad again. Severus was sitting barely a yard away from her. It was hardly bearable!
"What was the grade you completed your OWL in Potions with last school year?" Snape now started straight forwardly and looked down at her with his head held high.
Now, her heart skipped a beat. Oh God, he wants it the embarrassing way, she thought. Don't let him get you down! "Acceptable," she said in a clear voice.
"Sir!"
"What?"
"Acceptable, sir!" Snape twisted a corner of his mouth disdainfully. "Is it really too difficult for you to remember such a short yet so important word, Miss Brown? And it's not 'What', it's 'Excuse me'! So, what was your grade?"
"Acceptable, sir," Lavender repeated obediently.
"And what grade is the entry requirement for my course?"
"Outstanding. Sir."
Snape nodded. "Good. So you know. Then I ask you, Miss Brown, what is your business in my class with your miserable grade!"
Lavender felt a hot flush creeping into her face. Severus pierced her with his eyes and it took all her willpower not to avoid that gaze.
"Well, Miss Brown?" Snape waited for an answer, but Lavender could think of nothing. She was terribly ashamed and wished with all her might that she could undo her stupid plan.
"What do you want in my class?" Snape finally specified the question.
"Learn Potions!" Lavender said promptly, which elicited a mirthless grin from Snape.
"You haven't managed that in five years," he said coldly. "And your latest attempt was really at the lowest end of the scale!"
"Then I just didn't try hard enough," she said quickly, "uh—sir. But now I understand what the point is. I … I need a NEWT in Potions when I want to become a healer! Besides, I'm very interested in it … honestly!" Oh, how convincing!, she moaned inwardly.
"Well, well," said Snape, his thin lips twisting in a sneer. "Healer she wishes to become … how exceedingly noble!" He leaned back in his chair, and Lavender knew what must follow inevitably. She knew that look in his eyes only too well: He had just warmed up to indulge now in even more sarcastic remarks straight away. And once again she had the unmistakable feeling that Severus knew exactly where to start with her.
"So, this touching motive in your pure little heart is so pressing that you will stop at no embarrassment," Snape now stated in a voice dripping with scorn. "After spending five years acting like a silly goose and disrupting lessons with your stupid giggling, your parents are supposed now to sort out what you screwed up by your thoughtless sloppiness!" Snape leaned forward and glared angrily at Lavender. "That's really very … brave, isn't it?"
Lavender sat paralysed against the back of her chair and stared at her teacher in shock. She was used to a lot from Severus, but now he had outdone himself again. These harsh words went deeper than anything he had ever thrown at her before. So that's how he sees me … that all this bothers him so much—but Dumbledore agreed! she thought confusedly, but didn't dare speak aloud. Severus' black eyes had completely intimidated her.
"And did you ever consider during planning this hare-brained scenario, what your classmates will think about it?" Snape continued in a scathing tone. "About a loser like you, who is too lazy or too stupid to study; who sits among them only because of her pureblood parents and lowers the course level? And what about all the others who do not get such a chance …?"
Lavender felt the first tears burning behind her eyelids and resisted the temptation to simply let her hair fall in front of her face like a curtain.
"And why"—his voice grew louder—"why didn't you ask your parents, to also smuggle you into Transfiguration, so that the whole thing would at least makes sense? Because you also need this subject, if you want to become a healer!"
"What?!" Lavender flinched violently, and again her cheeks grew burning hot. Why doesn't the ground just open up and swallow me now? she thought frantically. God, how embarrassing is this?!
Snape nodded, a triumphant smile playing around his lips. "I thought as much. And now the truth: What do you want in my course!"
This is a nightmare! Lavender thought. A NIGHTMARE!
"I'm more than willing to understand you," the teacher said, shaking his head. "You are all fingers and thumbs, I can see that. You simply lack the talent for the subject, you will never pass the NEWT exam anyway, even if you put aside your immature behaviour and make an effort. Your career aspiration is not the reason, so what is it then?"
He looked at her expectantly, and Lavender recognised something like curiosity in his appraising gaze. What am I supposed to answer now? Oh God, I have to get out of here!
"Now come on, talk!"
Lavender remained silent and stared at her teacher with wide eyes. He's going to have me in a minute. I'm going to cry! That's what he's waiting for!
"Talk!" Snape repeated his demand impatiently. "I don't have all evening."
Silence.
"Well, I'll tell you what I think," he said after a while in an almost gentle voice. "Your forced participation has something to do with a particular person. Hence your scantily clad state, although you know exactly how cold it is in the dungeon!"
"No!" Shocked, Lavender jumped to her feet. And then tears spurted from her eyes without her being able to stop them. Startled, she jerked her hand in front of her uncontrollably trembling lips. "What do you think of me?" she stammered.
"You don't want to know." Severus Snape stood up and came around the table. Close to Lavender he stopped and looked down at her. He was so close to her that she felt his warmth again, and for the first time she noticed his real eye colour—it was dark brown, not black. And his familiar scent almost drove her crazy …
"I advise you only one thing," he said quietly. "Give it up. If you leave now, today's lesson will soon be forgotten. But the longer you keep up this charade, the more unpleasant the matter will become—for you, for me and for everyone else involved. Now go and think about it! If you have understood even a little of what we have just discussed, you will do the right thing!" He turned away.
"What about … my punishment, Professor?" Lavender whispered incredulously.
Severus, who had already taken a seat behind his table again, raised his eyebrows. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. But if you love to be punished, you just stay in my course, because it's going to be hell for you!"
Wordlessly, Lavender turned away and fled. The heavy wooden door slammed shut behind her with a deafening bang, but he would for sure be sympathetic about all her fingers and thumbs.