Striped Tights and Chequered Emotions

Close to fainting, Lavender arrived in the dungeon. Almost everyone was already in their seats, but fortunately Snape was not yet there. Panting, Lavender flopped between Parvati and Hermione.

"What happened to you?" it came from Hermione, and Parvati asked reprovingly, "Lavender—where are your tights!"

"Holy shit!" Lavender slapped her hand over her mouth. "I forgot …" Oh, there we go again. So much for pulling myself together. "It's too late now," she muttered.

Parvati reached for her wand. "I conjure you some. Don't argue!"

"Okay," Lavender said reluctantly. She knew that she would have to put her already battered pride aside.

"Fine. I'll say the spell, but you'll have to imagine the tights," Parvati ordered, waving her wand. "Oh, jeez, Lavender," she grumbled straight afterwards, and Lavender stared at her brown-pink-striped legs, giggling helplessly. "Can't you concentrate for once?" But Parvati had to grin herself.

"I did," muttered Lavender. "I was concentrating on not thinking of brown-pink-striped tights!"

"Good, then try to focus now on not thinking of skin-coloured, opaque tights!"

But before Parvati could raise her wand again, Severus swept into the room. Lavender took a deep breath in shock, and Parvati quickly fished a tissue out, because she had to giggle. Lavender was no better off; grinning from ear to ear, she lowered her head, but it was not lost on her that Snape had acknowledged her presence with an incredulous look.

Did he really think that I was going to leave and never return? she wondered, carefully pulling the robe over her eccentric tights. If Severus sees those, he'll freak out! So much for my resolution to dress properly in future!

To her great relief, Snape announced only theory for today; Lavender would not have to show her legs. Nevertheless, Parvati made several moves during the lesson to draw her wand in order to help her friend achieve a more discreet look—but each time, she was prevented by a suspicious look from Snape. Using the wand in any other way was strictly forbidden in his lessons.

The big issue for the next few weeks was different kinds of healing potions, the preparation of which was very complicated and would sometimes take days and weeks. After Snape had thrown some information about this on the blackboard, he instructed his pupils to read through the first chapter in their textbook "Advanced Potion-Making" and expected a summary afterwards. Okay, thought Lavender. I'm all focused now!

But the good intentions didn't help much. Totally blocked, she stared at the lines in small print and didn't understand a thing. But at least, she didn't stand out unpleasantly while reading. I hope he doesn't pick me! she prayed silently.

But Severus seemed to be in a mild temper today by his standards. He only picked students who put their hands up, so most of the time Hermione, Padma and Lisa were talking, now and then Parvati, too.

The Slytherins remained quite reserved during the discussions. Who knows how they slipped into the course! Lavender thought, and she had to think of how many times Blaise Zabini had had the cauldron blown up in his face last year. They got the required grade, but they got it from their beloved Head of House …

At that moment, her thoughts were interrupted by a closing: "Good!" coming from her favorite teacher. Lavender knew this "Good!" and guiltily she winced; once again her thoughts had wandered off, and she had not been listening at all.

And indeed, Severus meant her! He was sitting casually leant back behind his desk with his fingertips together, one of his favourite poses when it came to wear a pupil down. "So now that we've discussed the process of preparation, it would be nice if you could sketch a brief flowchart of it on the board for us, Miss Brown!"

Lavender's heart sank into her boots. Dumbfounded, she stared first at her teacher, then at Parvati. If I could sketch a flowchart? she thought frantically. Only then did she remember the pantyhose and clung desperately to the chair with her hands. This just can't be happening now! she thought and felt an insane giggle ascend in her throat. At the same time, she wanted to cry. Again she exchanged a glance with Parvati and saw that her friend was no better off. Nevertheless, Parvati almost melted with pity.

"Well, Miss Brown?" Snape rasped. "Do you need to read through the chapter again first, or why don't you come forward at last?"

Hesitantly, Lavender rose from her chair and padded with soft knees to the blackboard, her robe tightly wrapped around her. Of course this was of little use to her because it reached just below her knees.

And then the show already started. "What's that nasty thing!" squealed Millicent Bulstrode and the Slytherin girls began to laugh, in an exaggeratedly panting manner.

"Urgh, wicked!" Draco yelled.

There were giggles in the back rows too, and Lavender was on the verge of storming out of the classroom.

Severus, who until then had been staring boredly over the heads of the students, now became attentive. He turned to Lavender, who was standing between the desk and the blackboard, still clutching her robe in front of her chest. Then he eyed his favourite victim from top to toe, and when he arrived at her legs, his eyes widened involuntarily. "This is indeed wicked," he finally remarked sarcastically. "Are you trying to tell me that this is the poor yield of your wardrobe search?"

"Yes, well …" Lavender began, not knowing at all what she was going to tell, but she was interrupted by Severus anyway. "Miss Brown? Have you still not understood the seriousness of your situation?" he asked quietly, looking her straight in the eye.

Lavender swallowed. His voice, little more than a murmur, brought tears to her eyes and she felt goose bumps cover her back.

"Yes," she whispered. "I have. Sir."

And as awful as it was to have to stand here in front of him and the whole class in striped tights, it was once again one of those magical moments that she would have loved capture forever. Lavender sank into the deep blackness of his eyes and Severus returned her gaze. The class was dead silent until Severus spoke up—had seconds passed since then? Minutes? Lavender didn't know.

"All right then!" he said, again in his normal mocking tone. "Then would you please summarise for us the points we discussed!" He made a sweeping arm motion towards the blackboard, which was by now completely blank again, staring back at her shiny and black. "If you find it impossible to do it with your wand—don't hesitate to use chalk!"

Lavender swallowed again, but this time out of pure fear. What do I do now, she thought, trying to stay calm. I can't write a single word, no matter with what … he'll give me a Troll again and then kick me out for good! She glanced desperately at Parvati, who was suffering with Lavender like a dog. Hermione and Harry were also watching the whole thing with wide eyes. Oh, how she hated being pitied!

But even worse were the snide looks from the Slytherins, and the haughty expressions from Padma and Lisa in the back row were the final straw for her. They probably do nothing all day but neatly write some flow charts in their little notebooks! she thought angrily.

She turned back to the large blackboard, her mahogany-coloured wand in one trembling hand. If only it would fall off the wall, she wished.

"Squib!" Draco quacked at the moment.

Blaise giggled and made, "Squibdiwibb!"

"Well, we are all waiting anxiously to hear what you are about to tell us!" Snape let himself be heard when Lavender made no effort to utter anything and drummed his long fingers on the desk. He simply ignored the witty comments of his favourites.

"Squibblediwibble!"

A hot flush came over Lavender. Why am I in that situation again! she thought desperately. I just made up my mind yesterday—oh shit! I don't want this anymore … this stupid blackboard has to fall off the wall now, damn it! Please, please, you lousy piece of work, just fall down and leave me alone!

BANG! The blackboard crashed to the floor with a deafening noise and shattered into three pieces. A cry of dismay went through the class. Snape leapt up from his chair with little dignity and wheeled around. "Miss Brown!" he exclaimed in a tightly controlled voice, the fright written all over his face. "Are you all right?"

Lavender nodded mechanically and could not believe it. Thank you, dear stars!, she thought and a huge relief spread through her. That was close!

She was just preparing to go to her seat when Snape shouted behind her: "Stop! Were we done already? Reparo!", and a world collapsed inside Lavender. When she turned around, that shitty blackboard was already hanging back where it belonged, and Snape looked at her with a sneer. "Well, I guess nothing stands in the way of your little lecture now!"

But at that moment, the bell rang for break and Lavender couldn't help beaming all over. She beamed at Severus and called out exuberantly, "Have a nice day, Professor!" Out of the corner of her eye, she just caught his astonished expression.

Lavender made her way to the dining room bouncing. This rollercoaster of emotions in the last few minutes had hopelessly mixed up her hormonal balance, and now she was almost bursting with happiness. "Parvati—did you see his face when the board came crashing down?" she panted, clinging to her friend's arm. "That was a sight for sore eyes!"

Parvati laughed. "Imagine if it had fallen on his head—man, it really scared the crap out of him! Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd think it was you!"

"Me?" squeaked Lavender. "Well, that would be the first time that something I wish would happen! Fortune really smiled on me today!"

"Fortune!" snorted Hermione, walking close behind them. "You think that thing came down because Jupiter just coughed? Squib my arse!"

Lavender turned to her in amazement. "You really think I did that? Good one!" She started to giggle shrilly, but then paused and scratched her head. "But … I actually imagined it like that … just before it came down!"

"What, you really imagined exactly this?" exclaimed Parvati. "That's amazing! I don't think Snape would ever think of that!" And again they both burst out laughing.

In front of the great hall they met Ron and Neville, who eyed the combination of red-chequered skirt and brown-pink-striped tights skeptically. "Lavender?" asked Ron cautiously at last. "Did you actually wear those tights this morning? They don't go so well with the skirt, do they?"

Lavender nearly wet herself laughing. She was so excited that once again she couldn't eat. Instead, she chattered incessantly, so that Hermione and Ginny finally began to exchange annoyed glances.

And afterwards, she and Parvati retreated in the traditional manner to their bedroom with a cup of coffee and, lounging on Lavender's bed, discussed the lesson with their Potions Master from beginning to end. Parvati was completely into it, as if she was still an ardent Snape fan, and Lavender was blissfully happy. "Did you see how he looked at me?" she sighed contentedly.

"Yeah, it was several seconds," confirmed Parvati. "I thought you were going to start playing 'whoever blinks first loses'!"

"I'm telling you: goose-flesh at its best!" Lavender snuggled comfortably into her pillows. Everything was perfect, and they still had ten minutes before Divination began. Finally, she dared to give her friend the well-known sign by exaggeratedly opening her eyes at her.

Parvati looked at her hesitantly before undoing her plait and shaking her dark hair. Then she put her hand around Lavender's throat and said in her deep voice, "You've been very naughty again today, Miss Brown! Showing up with striped tights in my lesson …"

Doesn't sound very enthusiastic, Lavender thought to herself and squeaked: "Can't do anything right for you, Professor! After all, I was wearing one!"

"You'll get a hefty detention," Parvati mumbled listlessly.

"Oh yes, I love being punished by you," cooed Lavender. "What do you want me to do?"

"Scrubbing the dungeon, without magic of course, and—" Parvati broke off and rose abruptly from the bed on which they had been sitting. "I can't," she said in her normal voice.

Lavender went bolt upright. "What do you mean—you can't! You've got a migraine, or what?"

"Nuts! It's just not working anymore, Lavender! Understand that, please!" She turned away and put her scrunchy—by hand—back in her hair.

Lavender was stunned. "And where, for Merlin's sake, is the problem now?"

"My feelings just changed!"

"But still you can—"

"Be your Severus, as if nothing had happened all?" snapped Parvati. "Hello? Anybody home? I don't want this anymore! Jesus, I'm not a machine!"

"B-but Parvati!" stammered Lavender. "If you want, I also can be—"

"No!" Parvati cried in an unrestrained manner. "Tell me, you really don't get it?! I want to forget about this bloke, but you keep chewing my ear off about him all day! And on top of this, you want—" she broke off, panting because she was running out of breath, took a deep breath and immediately continued to yell, "Do you realise what you're demanding from me? Do you realise what you're demanding from everyone here? But I tell you one thing! That's history now! Definitively passé! Game's over! Could you please get this into your head?"

Completely outraged, she stomped to the door. "Honestly, how can you be so thick-skinned!" she uttered before she left the room for the second time in forty-eight hours with a deafening slam of the door.

Lavender remained sitting where she was, stiff as a poker. She was so shocked by Parvati's outburst that she couldn't even cry. Is nothing here the way it used to be? she thought, and for a change, her hormones dropped into the basement. I just can't cope anymore. Neither with Parvati, nor with myself.

"You will stop at no embarrassment," she heard Severus' sneering voice in her head, and Lavender felt her cheeks grow hot. What was that about tact? I don't think I've shown much of that just now, she said honestly to herself. I could have guessed that Parvati would need some distance from the matter. But how can she stand me talking to her about him all the time? Is she only doing it for my sake? Maybe I'll just go to her …

Hesitantly, Lavender swung her legs off the bed; at that moment the door opened a crack and Parvati poked her head into the room. "Are you coming?" she asked curtly. "Divination is about to start!"

"Okay!" Lavender slipped into her shoes and followed her friend. They didn't say another word about the argument.

Divination was Lavender's favourite subject, along with Flying lesson and Astronomy; however, it was no longer held by her beloved Miss Trelawney, but by the centaur Firenze, who had been teaching at the school since last year. His classroom was on the ground floor and was set up like a forest so that Firenze felt at home.

At least, Parvati had been more than happy with the change. Their new teacher thought nothing of predicting personal tragedies such as the death of people from coffee grounds or particular star constellations, as Miss Trelawney used to teach her pupils, and which Parvati had increasingly disagreed with over the past year. Firenze's view that one could rather read the great changes in the world in the stars was more appealing to her.

In addition, she found him quite attractive. "What? But he is blond and blue-eyed!" Lavender had commented this, quite appalled, when she told her. The fact that his body was half that of a horse played a rather minor role for both of them …

At least Lavender also had to admit that he had cured her of her addiction to the daily personal horoscope, which had at times taken on frightening forms in the fourth grade.

However, she still trusted the validity of birth charts; she actually had the star positions from the birth of most of her class in her head. And it bugged her enormously that after all these years, Parvati and she had still not managed to find out when and where Severus Snape was born.

At Firenze's, Lavender didn't have to worry about being picked unprepared. Leaning against a tree, she daydreamed with her eyes open while letting the gentle voice of the centaur wash over her, as he told his pupils a long story about the origin of unicorns to introduce the new school year.

She thought of Severus, of how his mysterious black eyes wouldn't let her go this morning, and once again her chest ached. The desire to be with him was sometimes overwhelming—she wanted to be held by him and do all the other things that had to be wonderful, yet also scared her a little.

And I would like to talk to him so much, she sighed inwardly. Without his permanent sarcasm. I wonder if he can do that at all.

Lavender was convinced that beneath this rough shell was a person who had seen a lot and had somehow lost faith in this world. If only he could trust me, she wished, her heart almost overflowing with longing. But for him, unfortunately, I'm just a silly girl …

She put her head back and stared up at the artificial representation of the northern starry sky above her. As always, the familiar sight gave her strength. I wonder what his star sign is, she asked herself for at least the hundredth time in her life. Maybe we are more alike than he thinks … but we'll never find out if every time such a crap like today happens to me!

Again, Lavender made the firm resolution: Everything would be different in the future. She would prepare for his lessons and always stay focused. No more daydreaming and forgetting half of her stuff. Never ever forgetting her tights! And never giggle again! It simply had to work!

"And tonight we have Astronomy," she rejoiced as she climbed the stairs to the common room afterwards with Parvati. "Watching the stars! Oh, today is a good day!"

"But it's supposed to rain!" murmured Parvati. She directly stayed in the common room to do her homework.

Considerately, Lavender retreated alone to the dormitory to change her clothes. Instead of chewing Parvati's ear off, she wanted to go to the lake and write in her diary. There was so much to tell …