In the following days, Hermione visited Sirius Black in the Shrieking Shack every evening and spent a lot of time with him. The more she got to know Sirius' personality, the more she understood why he had been popular with the girls in his school days. He began to open up more and more every day and willingly told her about his past as the Black Sheep in one of the oldest and most thoroughly Slytherin wizarding families.
She had to take a break in her private lessons with Professor Snape with a heavy heart so that Sirius, who spent most of the day studying the Marauder's Map, wouldn't notice that she was close to him. She had been glad that he had been understanding, although she had not been able to tell him the reason. So it had been two weeks before Hermione was greeted by a euphoric Sirius when she entered the Shrieking Shack.
"He's on his way right now! You've got to get back now!" he shouted, giving her a little shake by her shoulders, which he gripped tightly.
"It's good to see you too, Sirius. Look at the map."
Sirius let go of her, puzzled, and knelt back down on the floor where the Marauder's Map lay spread out. He jerked back and let out a surprised sound that reminded Hermione of a bark.
"You! Your name is there too. But you're here, how can that be?"
"I'll explain that some other time. Here's the food, I'll be on my way. Just tell me where he was headed," she said, letting the basket of food grow.
"He walked from the Gryffindor common room towards the secret passage in the seventh-floor corridor that leads to the third floor."
"That's enough, say no more," Hermione said, turning without another word.
"Good luck!" called Sirius after her and Hermione flew back to her window, having transformed at the entrance to the corridor under the Whomping Willow. Once there, she briefly reflected on where she had been an hour ago. She had been doing homework with Luna in the library. Since she hadn't met herself in the last hour, the coast was at least half clear and she turned the Time-Turner once.
While she got into position under the protection of the disillusionment charm, she thought about how best to catch Pettigrew. In his rat form, he was certainly nimble and it would be hard to target him with a spell. Then she remembered his path. He had gone down through the dark secret passage to the third floor. It was a steeply sloping staircase corridor that was perfectly straight. This circumstance could only be explained by magic, because purely from the construction of the castle, the staircase would have had to run across several classrooms in order to run straight from the seventh to the third floor. Besides, the staircase was always descended, whether one went from the third to the seventh floor or vice versa.
She recognised the advantage she needed in that, however. She entered the secret passage through the wall illusion, ran all the way down and sealed the exit, a wall hanging in the corridor of the third floor. Then she hurriedly ran back to the entrance - down again - and by the light of her wand looked for a place to hide, which she found. She changed into her raven form and fluttered up to a protruding stone in the wall, which gave her enough room to crouch down on it. Her raven vision gave her at least a slightly better view in the staircase corridor lit only by a single torch.
"Now we wait," she thought, and it was a little over a quarter of an hour before Hermione heard the soft clattering and snuffling. She froze and held her breath as the rat came through the wall of the secret passage. After looking around for a moment, the rat dropped down one step at a time.
The trap snapped shut. Hermione silently pointed her wing at the entrance to the secret passage, which was now magically sealed as well. Peter Pettigrew was now stuck alone with her in this secret passage. But he didn't know yet and Hermione didn't want him to know either before it was too late. As quietly as she could, she spread her wings and let herself glide down the steeply sloping tunnel. She felt the hunting instincts of her animal form kick in. With claws extended forward, she crashed down on the rat and pushed it down with all her weight.
Peter Pettigrew just managed to let out a shrill squeak, then he was hit by Hermione's Stunning Spell. She transformed back into her human form and levitated the limp rat in front of her with a wave of her hand. Instantly she used the Memory Charm and erased his memory of being caught by a bird. Then, with another wave of her hand, she lifted the barrier on either side of the secret passage and exited the tunnel on the third floor to reach Dumbledore more quickly.
She placed the rat in an outer pocket of her robe and held it tightly in one hand, ready to cast the Stunning Spell again through her hand at any time as soon as she sensed movement. She hurried as fast as she could to the headmaster's tower.
"Password?" the gargoyle asked and Hermione stopped.
"Pumpkin pie," she said, hoping that Dumbledore hadn't changed the password since her last private lesson.
"Wrong!" the gargoyle said sharply, narrowing his eyes.
"Bloody hell," Hermione cursed, rolling her eyes in annoyance.
"Also wrong!" the other gargoyle exclaimed, and they both laughed. If the situation hadn't been so serious, Hermione would have let herself smile too, but her expression remained serious.
"Caramel eclairs!"
"Got lucky, eh?" the gargoyle said, jumping to the side. Hermione sighed in relief and stormed up the moving spiral staircase. Once at the top, she pounded on Dumbledore's door. After a few seconds, the door swung open and Hermione rushed inside.
"'Good grief, Hermione! To what do I owe this surprise visit? Has something happened?" asked Dumbledore in surprise, motioning her to the chair in front of his desk.
"It's a long story, so I'll get to the point," Hermione said, pulling the limp rat from her robe pocket. "I've caught Peter Pettigrew."
Dumbledore's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open for a second. Then he looked back and forth between Hermione and the rat that she had grabbed by the scruff of its neck.
"How?" he asked as he appraised Hermione with his steel blue eyes over his half-moon glasses.
"I spotted Sirius Black on the school grounds a few weeks ago and followed him unnoticed into the Shrieking Shack. There I found out the truth. It wasn't him who betrayed Lily and James Potter, but Peter Pettigrew. They are unregistered Animagi, which is why Sirius was able to escape from Azkaban and remain unnoticed for so long. I managed to catch Pettigrew just now," she summarised, shaking the limp rat in her hand for emphasis.
"This is hard to believe, but I trust you. If this rat is an Animagus, we'll soon enough find out," Dumbledore said, commanding Hermione to set the rat down on the chair. She dropped the rat on it and wiped her hand on her robe in disgust. She couldn't believe Ron had slept in a bed with that filthy-smelling animal.
Dumbledore waved his wand and Hermione didn't know what spell he was performing, but it caused the rat to turn into a small, decrepit wizard who looked around the room anxiously.
"Good evening, Peter," Dumbledore said quietly, and Pettigrew's dripping eyes lingered on Dumbledore. He emitted a squeaking sound and his face was filled with pure terror as he realised his situation. He ducked, but was frozen in his movement the next moment. Dumbledore had beaten Hermione to it and cast a paralysis spell on him.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" asked Dumbledore gleefully, as if they were sitting down to a relaxing cup of tea. " Feeling guilty?" he asked, and Hermione saw something sinister flare in Dumbledore's gaze, which was fixed on Pettigrew. Pettigrew, who was paralysed from the neck down, pressed his lips together.
"Not as talkative, eh? We'll have that in a minute. Expecto Patronum," Dumbledore said and a silver phoenix sprang from his wand and settled on the desk in front of him. "Severus, I need you and a few drops of Veritaserum in my office as soon as possible," he said and when he had spoken, the phoenix pushed itself off the desk and disappeared through the closed window.
"While we wait, you can answer a few more questions for me, Hermione."
"Fine," Hermione said but remained standing despite Dumbledore's offer to sit down.
"How did you catch him?"
"With the Time-Turner. I knew he would come through the secret passage between the seventh and third floors. So once he was in, I sealed both entrances and shocked him."
"Good work, Hermione. And how did you know a rat would come through the secret passage?"
"That um, well... I..." she stammered deliberately to avoid revealing her secret about the Marauder's Map and felt herself blush successfully.
"It's alright," Dumbledore said with a smile and winked at her. Hermione was glad it had worked. A few seconds later, Dumbledore's fireplace blazed green, Professor Snape stepped in with a curious expression and froze when he caught sight of Pettigrew. Then he caught sight of Hermione and raised his eyebrows. She smiled briefly at him, but then turned back to Dumbledore.
"Good evening, Severus. Thank you for appearing so quickly. We have a tough nut to crack here. I thought you might be able to be of assistance?"
"I'd be delighted to, Albus," Professor Snape said with a curious expression on his face, but Hermione could tell by the look on his face that he was shocked by the sight of his former classmate who had been presumed dead.
"If you would be so kind, Severus," Dumbledore said calmly, pointing to the frozen Pettigrew, who was staring fearfully at Dumbledore's face. Without hesitation, Professor Snape grabbed Pettigrew by the hairline and jerked his head back rudely. He used the element of surprise to dribble a few drops from the small vial in his hand into Pettigrew's mouth, which was wide open with surprise and pain. Then he let go of him and, like Hermione before him, wiped his hand on his robe with a disgusted look.
"Well, here we go then. Did you betray Lily and James Potter to Lord Voldemort, thus breaking my Fidelius Charm over their house?"
"Yes," Pettigrew said in a toneless voice. He appeared to be sleepwalking.
"How, Sirius Black was the Keeper of Secrets."
"They appointed me the Secret Keeper at my suggestion. Sirius and James' friendship was much better known than mine. It made sense. But I didn't want it! The Dark Lord ..."
"Spare us from that," Professor Snape interrupted him in a slightly angry voice.
"Did you use an exploding spell to kill the Muggles whose deaths were later blamed on Sirius Black?" asked Dumbledore, not responding to Snape's comment.
"Yes."
"Do you know where Lord Voldemort is?"
"Albania."
"Where from?" asked Hermione in astonishment.
"Rats. Asked around among rats in the dungeons. The network found him after a few months."
"Is that why you were out in the castle alone? To meet other rats?"
"Yes."
"Thank you, that will do," Dumbledore said, stunning Pettigrew with a casual flick of his wand. He glanced first at Hermione, then at Professor Snape, who was staring down at Pettigrew and seemed absent.
"Severus, please send an owl to the Office of Magical Law Enforcement. There is an old case to rectify. Pettigrew will remain here under my supervision until Ministry officials can take him into custody."
"Very well," Professor Snape said when he had caught himself and gave Hermione a curt nod before leaving the office. Dumbledore turned to her next.
"Sirius is in the Shrieking Shack?" he asked and Hermione nodded. "Then he will be safe there until the Dementors are convinced he is innocent and finally leave the school. I must express my gratitude to you, Hermione. You solved two of my problems at once tonight."
"I did it for Harry and Sirius," Hermione said and Dumbledore smiled at her with a mixture of compassion and sadness, the reason for which Hermione did not understand.
"There is one more problem," Dumbledore said and Hermione looked at him frowning. "We must prevent Sirius from taking Harry in when he has been accepted back into society and has gained a foothold."
"WHAT? WHY?" cried Hermione louder than she had intended.
"I was able to extend the blood magic Lily Potter cast on Harry through her sacrifice, to the extent that he is safe from Lord Voldemort with his blood relatives until he is seventeen. He must continue to think of his aunt and uncle's house as his home to remain protected."
Hermione took a moment to digest this news.
"That would break Sirius' heart," she said finally and Dumbledore nodded with a sad expression. "There must be a solution to this. Talk to Harry. He needs to know. You can't keep him from it forever. I won't let you deny him that silver lining too!" said Hermione, talking herself more and more into a rage.
"Maybe you're right, Hermione. Pettigrew showing up has changed everything. I'll think about the situation."
"We'll find a solution. If you don't need me anymore, I'd like to report to Sirius that I've succeeded," Hermione said and Dumbledore nodded.
"We should still erase Pettigrew's memory that you had anything to do with his capture. I can take care of that."
"Thank you very much, Professor. Do you mind?" asked Hermione, gesturing to the window. Dumbledore nodded again and Hermione opened it, transforming into her raven form and gliding through the cold night air a second later.
She thought she saw a black shadow fly past her and her pulse shot up for a moment as she realised she had almost met herself in animal form. She froze the Whomping Willow, pushed down through the opening and glided expertly along the passage without once touching the ground or flapping her wings.
"I caught him!" she cried halfway up the stairs.
"But, you just left!" exclaimed Sirius in surprise. Still, a wide smile appeared on his face, which, despite his yellow and run-down teeth, said more than anything he had told her about himself before. She could see a weight, as heavy as Hogwarts, falling from his heart. Tears filled Sirius' eyes and Hermione caught him as he broke down. It was a touching moment and Hermione recognised years of pent-up emotion without having to use her powers.
"It's over," she said softly, helping him over to the bed where he curled up like a puppy and let his emotions run wild. "They would be proud of you," she said with conviction. She had visited Sirius's mind several times over the past few weeks, unnoticed, to learn more about Harry's parents. It had saddened her that such wonderful people had not had the chance to see their son grow up and, conversely, that Harry had been denied that care.
Even though she didn't know the whole story about Professor Snape and Lily Potter, she could understand why he had loved her. She had been beautiful, selfless and kind and had always put the welfare of those around her before her own. Hermione was convinced that this trait was responsible for Harry's survival.
"Sorry," Sirius said later when he had composed himself, but Hermione took his hand and squeezed it tightly. "Thank you for convincing me to let you have it. You're the most brilliant witch I've ever met."
"Harry will be proud of you," she said and Sirius squeezed her hand firmly this time with his still bony fingers despite his better diet. "You'll have to wait until Dumbledore sorts everything out, though. I'll continue to bring you food until it's all cleared up."
"Hermione, you will always be welcome at my house. If you ever need anything, all you have to do is say so. I am forever in your debt," Sirius said, smiling at her. Hermione smiled back and stood up. She walked over to the spread-out blanket and grabbed herself a chocolate frog. For the first time since she had left to hunt Pettigrew, she could relax. Even though it had only been an hour or so for her, it had worn on her nerves.
She thought about what Pettigrew had said in response to Dumbledore's last question. Voldemort was staying in Albania. From what she had learned so far from the historical newspaper articles, he had disappeared into exile there at that time as a still human-looking wizard and returned as a monster. Was it a bad omen that he had returned to the land of his dark transformation?
She shooed the thoughts from her mind and, in response to Sirius' question, recounted how she had caught Pettigrew, concealing as she had done before in Pettigrew's presence that she was an Animaga. Again and again, Sirius thanked her, not wanting to let her go at all, but she was growing more tired by the minute. When she finally fell into her bed, it took only a few seconds for her to fall asleep without a trance.
Over the next few days, everything happened terribly quickly. The Daily Prophet published article after article about Peter Pettigrew's arrest by Dumbledore and Sirius' acquittal. Dumbledore, as head of the Wizengamot, had obtained a trial the very night Hermione had caught Pettigrew, which had not only acquitted Sirius but also banished Pettigrew to Azkaban in his place, including protection spells so that he could not escape in his Animagus guise.
Furthermore, Sirius had been fully rehabilitated as the last male descendant of House Black and was now, in one fell swoop, one of the most powerful wizards in Britain. The Black family was one of the so-called Sacred Twenty-Eight, the last pure-blood families. Hermione knew that Sirius loathed his heritage, but could also see advantages in it.
Harry had come to Hermione in the library two days after Sirius' rehabilitation and, without warning, had hugged her so tightly that he rivalled Hagrid. Sirius had told him the unofficial truth when he had first visited him at St Mungo's. Sirius would be staying there until the summer, recovering physically and mentally from the difficult time in and after Azkaban.
"You gave me a relative. A real relative who sees me as a human being," Harry had whispered in her ear and she had closed her eyes in emotion. She had wanted nothing more than for Harry to accept Sirius as her godfather.
She herself had not yet visited Sirius, as she officially had nothing to do with his rescue, but Harry told her in the following days that he was making enormous progress through the healers' therapy. Hermione was pleased with the obvious positive effect Sirius' rescue had on Harry. He seemed more cheerful and even-tempered to her than the years before.
She hoped that Sirius could give him what he had been lacking for the last twelve years of his life. She was also pleased that Dumbledore had realised that he could not separate them. She had learned from Harry that, if all went according to plan, he would be moving with Sirius into a house that Sirius was currently looking for.
She was already looking forward to what Dumbledore would tell her at her next private lesson. She was pulled out of her thoughts when Susan sat down in the chair opposite her in the library and smiled at her. She looked around briefly to see if Madam Pince was within reach and when she realised she was in the adjacent aisle, she scribbled a line on a small parchment and slid it over to Hermione.
"Have you got someone to go to Hogsmeade with yet?" she read and smiled. She pointed at Susan, who teasingly pretended to have to think carefully about accompanying Hermione first. Hermione crossed her arms, breaking Susan's act, and they both giggled softly.
Susan jerked her head towards the exit. Hermione nodded and packed up her copy of an old article from the Daily Prophet. She had finally found something after a long search that possibly had some as yet unrecognised connection with Voldemort.
"Did you know that Hogsmeade Sunday is Valentine's Day?" asked Susan, and Hermione rolled her eyes. There had been no other topic among the girls at Hogwarts for weeks.
"Have you asked Ginny yet?" asked Hermione cheekily to counter Susan. Susan blushed and scowled at her.
"That's not fair! You know perfectly well how I feel about that."
"Sorry. But maybe next year it will work out?" asked Hermione and Susan pressed her lips together. She felt guilty and asked Susan to take her on a real Valentine's Day date in Hogsmeade to distract her.
"You'd do that?" she asked, eyes blazing. Hermione could tell that the day meant a lot more to Susan than it did to her and nodded eagerly. Susan hugged her and then spoke exclusively of how much she was looking forward to Hogsmeade. Hermione was glad to be able to lift Susan's spirits after her faux pas.
She was looking forward to the normality that the Hogsmeade weekend promised after the rather unusual last few weeks. She was all the more pleased that evening when, after two weeks of radio silence, a scroll of parchment with fine, close handwriting found its way to her.
Standing outside Professor Snape's office door the next day, she could feel her heartbeat as she raised her hand to knock on his door. She was excited because she didn't know how he would react to what she had planned to do. As usual, the door was opened just a crack at first before Professor Snape recognised her and let her in. She was a little excited because they had only seen each other in class since their brief encounter in Dumbledore's office.
"First of all, let me compliment you on managing to catch Pettigrew," Professor Snape said after he had offered her some tea and they had sat down opposite each other - she in his armchair, he on his couch. Hermione was happily surprised that they hadn't left for the classroom immediately.
"Thank you," she said, smiling shyly at him over her tea. "And thank you for letting me have the map, it really helped," she added and Professor Snape nodded with an appreciative expression on his face. She could tell by the look on his face that he had been told the whole story by Dumbledore and could sense that the confrontation with the man who had sealed Lily Potter's death sentence had thrown him off. She suspected that was why he hadn't wanted to have one-to-one lessons with her over the last two weekends.
"I've got something for you," she said, feeling her heart begin to beat faster. She took heart and pulled out the small glass box from her bag that she had been working on for weeks since she had discovered who Lily Evans really was. Professor Snape looked at her in surprise and question as she levitated the box into his hand with a wave of her finger.
"I must apologise for my questions," Hermione said as the small box floated towards him. "I had no idea who she was. Only that she meant a lot to you. I want to give you this little something and I hope you like it."
Professor Snape looked at her with raised eyebrows. The transparent square box, which was about the size of his palm, was filled with dark, damp earth at the bottom. When it touched his hand, the identification charm Hermione had cast on it activated. He gasped as he realised that the earth was moving and the small stem of a plant was growing up from it. A bud grew at the tip of the stem and opened into a flower. Professor Snape's eyes grew wide as he recognised the flower. Hermione watched him smiling, eager to see his next reaction. His breath caught in his throat as the blossom of the lily changed colour. He looked at Hermione in disbelief.
"That ..." he said, but his voice broke.
"Yes," Hermione said, nodding at his unspoken question. She had enchanted the lily so that the blossom was a replica of Lily Potter's iris. It had taken her a lot of time and work, but with the help of many books and Neville's knowledge of herbology, she had finally done it. Countless times she had returned to her memories to look at Harry's eyes, her eyes.
"I have come to realise that she is a part of you and will be forever. This lily will never wither. I hope you like her," she said carefully, looking at him a little anxiously. Still, Professor Snape stared at her in disbelief. Then he finally opened his mouth.
"This," he said, looking down at the lily, "is the most beautiful gift I have ever received."
Tears ran down his cheeks and Hermione felt a strong twinge in her nose. She was pleased that her gift had touched him. He was very quiet, but Hermione could tell from his shoulders that he was shaken by silent sobs.
Feeling the need to be there for him, she gingerly got up and sat beside him. She put her hand on his back and gently stroked it to comfort him. It felt so good to touch him, to be there for him. She was so engrossed in caressing his back that she didn't notice that after a few minutes, he had calmed down and removed the traces of tears with a spell.
"How do you know all this?" he finally asked as he held the lily before his eyes to inspect it more closely. Hermione startled up from her own thoughts but realised with delight that he made no move to remove her hand from his back.
"I saw her in Sirius Black's memories when I was making sure he was innocent. She was a wonderful woman."
He looked at her with a surprised expression. His eyes darted over her face and skipped back and forth between her eyes. Hermione smiled.
"Thank you so much. I seem to have forgotten how beautiful magic can be," he said, levitating the small box onto the table in front of the couch.
"I'm really glad you like it," Hermione said, at which point there was a long pause. "I now know where your conflict with Harry comes from," she said gently and he looked up at her. "You see your nemesis from school days when you look at Harry. The rival for the woman you loved. And when you look into his eyes, you see her eyes."
He nodded curtly and averted his eyes. "I don't want you to tell me anything you don't want to. I just want you to know that you can always talk to me," she said and stood up. He looked up at her and she thought she could see in his gaze that she shouldn't leave, but she didn't want to put him through too much.
"I think it's better if we postpone the lesson," she said and let her bag fly into her hand with a summoning charm. He looked after her wordlessly and Hermione smiled at him again before closing the door behind her.
She stopped behind the closed door and took one deep breath. It had taken a lot for her to bring up all these things. While she was still thinking about it, the door flew open behind her and a short whoop escaped her as she was pulled by the arm back into Professor Snape's office. Before she could realise what exactly was happening, she was pressed tightly against his chest, shrouded by his black robe, as he encircled her with his arms.
She closed her eyes and let herself fall into him. She absorbed the smell of his robe, which reminded her of a mixture of fresh firewood and elderflowers. She was overwhelmed by the butterflies dancing in her stomach. It felt like he would never let her go and Hermione enjoyed every moment that passed. Then his tight embrace loosened and she looked up at him into his black eyes, glittering in the glow of the fireplace.
"I really like you," she said, resting a hand on his chest.
"Why?" he asked and Hermione could see in his eyes that he meant it and his look said 'Even I don't like me'.
"Because I can see what you're hiding from the world. I can feel it," she replied in a soft voice, lingering with her hand over his heart.
"There is much you don't know."
"Then I would very much like to know more."
"A lot of things you might not like."
"I'd like to find that out for myself. Provided you let me," she said, looking at him with a hopeful expression. He looked at her with a petrified expression. She could see the conflict in his eyes. "I know I was very tempestuous. I hardly recognised myself. But I don't want to rush things," she said, unable to help her cheeks turning pink. He nodded.
"I've never met anyone as unique as you."
"The same goes for you, Professor," she said, grinning mischievously at him from below. She enjoyed looking up at him as he held her. She felt like no one could harm her when she was in his arms. The corners of his mouth twitched and he let air escape through his nose in amusement. "Thank you," Hermione said when he let go of her.
"I have to thank you. If you'd like, we can make up the lesson tomorrow after your trip to Hogsmeade. Unless Professor Dumbledore is already expecting you?" he asked and Hermione shook her head.
"I'd love to," she said, smiling broadly at him. She was pleased to see him return the smile and she floated up to Ravenclaw tower after saying goodbye to him.
When she arrived at her dormitory, she lay down on her bed and thought about his words. How much did she know about him? If she thought carefully, he was still the same mysterious man she had met almost three years ago. Through her one-to-one lessons, the few memories she had witnessed practising Occlumency and Legilimency, and his childhood stories, the fog around him was becoming a little more transparent, but there were still more secrets surrounding him than Hermione would have liked to admit.
There was a common belief that he had only returned to Hogwarts after the fall of Voldemort to hide from the consequences of his actions as a Death Eater under the protection of Dumbledore. Yet Hermione knew he was not a bad person. She could see it, feel it and read it in him.
She resolved to approach him carefully about his past when the opportunity arose. She knew it would be difficult to get anything out of him at all, but it was very important to her to know his history in order to understand him better.
She felt the need to be there for him, to ease his pain, because she could feel it every time he looked at her with his black eyes. The pain accompanied him at all times and it filled Hermione with joy to try and ease his pain. The lily had triggered so many emotions in him and Hermione still got slight shivers all over her body when she thought of how he had hugged her.
She was already looking forward to the next day and even if she wouldn't tell Susan, the meeting with Professor Snape would be her real date for Valentine's Day.
It turned out to be a pleasant and sunny day in late winter and Hermione enjoyed walking hand in hand with Susan down the winding path to Hogsmeade. They first visited the little clothing shop and tried on some beautiful robes that they could never afford.
Afterwards, Susan dragged her to Madam Puddifoot's café, a café that was far too kitschy for Hermione's liking and packed on Valentine's Day, where all the guests exclusively held hands. Susan and Hermione were looked at pityingly by some of the girls, but Hermione tried hard not to make Susan feel that they were only here because they both had no one.
Susan, however, seemed happy and perfectly natural. She couldn't help gossiping about some of the couples sitting at the numerous tables. It didn't take long for them to discuss whether or not something could come of it for each couple.
"Davies and Chang, well, let's see if that works out. I wonder if McFinley knows," Susan whispered and Hermione actually wondered if the two of them could keep playing Quidditch together if it didn't work out between them. For the moment, however, things seemed to be going fine. Since Hermione and Susan had sat down at their table, the two had kissed passionately.
Hermione caught herself imagining herself and Professor Snape at one of the tables and couldn't suppress a soft snort. Susan seemed to take Hermione's expression at her comment and grinned mischievously at her. Hermione raised her hand over her cup of tea so that the little cupid angel hovering over the guests and raining confetti over them wouldn't drop anything into her drink.
"Diggory seems to be over you too," Hermione said, nodding her head towards the entrance where Cedric Diggory was just entering with a Hufflepuff girl. Susan rolled her eyes.
"Who is it this time?" she asked sarcastically, turning her head almost imperceptibly towards the entrance to catch a glimpse of them. "He'll have them all through soon," she said and Hermione giggled. Even though she didn't usually get anything out of the twaddle of the other girls in her year, it was fun to have a wry laugh with Susan about the other couples, almost all of whom took themselves far too seriously.
"I have something for you," Hermione said and Susan looked at her with wide eyes. "It's nothing big," she said hastily, pulling out the little bracelet she had made when she had made her first attempts at the Lily for Professor Snape. Neville had shown her the evergreen charm she'd practised on some flowers he was tending in his own little section of the greenhouse he'd got from Professor Sprout for his own purposes.
He had given her the flowers on which she had finally succeeded in the spell. It had been a colourful mixture of flowers and Hermione had woven them into a small bracelet.
"Oh, that's so cute!" she said, letting Hermione slip the bracelet over her hand. She appraised her wrist and beamed at Hermione. Hermione could see in her eyes that it meant a lot to her and smiled broadly at her.
"I'm glad you like it. The flowers can't wilt anymore because of the evergreen charm," she said and Susan stroked the flowers with her thumb.
"Thank you," she said and Hermione could tell by the look on her face that she was a little embarrassed not to have anything for Hermione. She shook her head and put her hand on the back of Susan's hand.
"Don't worry, you liking the self-made bracelet is gift enough for me," she said, smiling broadly at Susan, who nodded but didn't really look like she was happy with it.
She finally bought Hermione a large heart at Honeyduke's, shaped from numerous different of Hermione's favourite sweets, and Hermione thanked her, giggling. Honeyduke's was also decorated appropriately for Valentine's Day and all the goods for sale were in the shape of hearts. Hermione replenished her stash that she had bequeathed to Sirius during his time in the Shrieking Shack and after the two had had a Butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks, they headed back towards Hogwarts hand in hand.
"That was really nice. Really too bad we're not a real couple," Susan said and started to laugh when Hermione raised her finger threateningly. "Just kidding! But it really was a great day. Thank you, Hermione," she said, flashing Hermione her so unique smile. She returned it and hugged Susan before heading off to Ravenclaw Tower to deliver the sweets and stationery Luna had ordered.
Luna was overjoyed and, despite her protests, did not let herself be stopped from reimbursing Hermione the full amount for the purchases. Hermione sat with her in the cosy armchair in front of the fire for a little while longer until it was time for dinner. She felt her heart begin to beat faster again as she approached the dungeons afterwards. She knocked on Professor Snape's office door and was greeted as usual after a quick glance through the crack in the door.
"Happy Valentine's Day," Hermione exulted in a high-pitched voice, grinning at him while biting her tongue as he groaned in annoyance.
"Good evening," he said, also allowing himself to crack a small smile when he noticed Hermione's obviously mischievous expression.
"I take it you've been avoiding the hearts?" asked Hermione, and Professor Snape just snorted. She giggled and followed him down the corridor to the Potions classroom.
"I thought I'd stick to the theme of the day and have you brew an antidote for a love potion," Professor Snape said and Hermione looked at him with wide eyes.
"How are we going to test if it works?" she said, smiling at him as innocently as she could. She giggled when she could actually see a slight pink on his cheeks.
"You'll have to settle for my verdict," he said with a raised eyebrow and Hermione could tell from his voice that after the jokes, it was now time to focus. She nodded and stepped closer to the cauldron where a bright red potion was bubbling. She waved her hand at some of the steam to catch a small whiff of its scent.
"No Amortentia," she said and Professor Snape nodded.
"Specialis Revelio," she pronounced the spell aloud as she pointed her index finger at the cauldron. Since her accident, she had an agreement with Professor Snape to say every spell out loud and also to formulate her thoughts aloud. It gave her both security and confidence, for it was very rare for him to find fault with her reasoning.
"Large proportion of juniper and lovage. I would prepare a tincture based on essence of belladonna," Hermione said, looking up at Professor Snape, who nodded. It didn't take long for Hermione to finish the tincture to cancel out the effects of the love potion.
"Very good work," Professor Snape finished, and with a casual wave of his wand, made the potion disappear into the cauldron without any residue. He looked her in the eye for a moment and then averted his gaze. Hermione could tell he was nervous and suppressed her immature giggle. "Would you like another cup of tea in my office?" he finally asked, looking her in the eye again.
"I'd love to!" said Hermione, leading the way. She stood next to Professor Snape's office door and smiled at him as he touched the door with his wand and invited her in. She noticed immediately that something had changed for the first time in the almost three years she had been entering the same room. The little glass box with the green lily stood in the middle of a small, waist-high shelf on which all sorts of books and other somewhat tasteless objects had previously stood. Professor Snape had thus placed her gift very presently in the room and Hermione liked the shelf much better that way.
"You've placed that nicely," she said, pointing to the small box. Professor Snape smiled slightly and motioned for her to take the armchair, which she dropped into a moment later. She was given a cup of her much-loved ginger tea a moment later and snuggled happily into the armchair.
"I know you don't want anything in return for your gift, but I still want to give you a little something. I came across it in Hogsmeade today and thought you might like it," he said, drawing his wand. Hermione looked at him, frowning. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel in a debt of gratitude for her gift.
She couldn't hide her curiosity, though, as he waved his wand and an elongated, flat box in a classy navy blue appeared on the table in front of her. He levitated the box into her lap and asked Hermione to open it after she hesitated briefly. She untied the beautiful cloth ribbon and lifted the lid of the box.
She gasped and looked up at him in disbelief. In the box, set in velvet, lay a quill whose beauty left Hermione speechless. It was a beige, perfectly formed quill with gold and silver accents, its keel set in a nobly decorated holder of silver.
"It's beautiful! Thank you so much!" she exclaimed, beaming at Professor Snape. She could tell he was relieved that she liked the quill. She was glad that her parents had taught her not to deprive people of the joy of giving gifts by feigning false modesty. She took the quill in her hand and touched it as if she were writing with it. It felt very comfortable in her hand and was about as long as Hermione's forearm from the wrist.
"What creature did this feather come from?" she asked, having never seen a comparable feather before. It was obvious that it was a magical creature, because depending on the light, it glittered in a unique way that no feather from any bird the Muggles knew did.
"From a Thunderbird. I thought it fitting since Professor Dumbledore told me of your progress in elemental summoning," he said and Hermione's eyes widened. Thunderbirds were very rare and only native to America. The feather must have cost a fortune. She had to restrain herself from refusing the gift out of politeness. It was such a well-chosen and thoughtful gift that she had to fight back tears, but she managed to swallow the lump in her throat.
"Thank you so much," she said again, beaming at him. His features relaxed and he let himself fall backwards a little. He took a sip of tea as Hermione gingerly slipped the lid over the box and let it float onto the small table in front of her.
"So Professor Dumbledore tells you about my private lessons with him?" she asked and he nodded. She wondered how much Dumbledore was hiding from Professor Snape. She was sure that no one knew about her Animaga status except her headmaster and her. But had he told him about the Horcruxes? She knew Dumbledore trusted Professor Snape, but how far did his trust go?
"Do you think I'm living up to his expectations?" asked Hermione and Professor Snape snorted in amusement.
"'Be assured that by now you have surpassed any expectations so far placed on a witch of your age. A new level of grading will have to be introduced for you in the N.E.W.T. exams," he said and Hermione smiled shyly. She played a little with one of her braids, which by now reached below her chest. It was special, despite the fact that she was praised daily for her abilities, to receive such a compliment from Professor Snape.
"Professor?" she asked and he looked at her encouragingly. "Would you mind telling me a little more about yourself?"
He sighed and took a large sip of tea, presumably to avoid having to answer immediately.
"There's not much to tell," he said, but Hermione shook her head.
"I know that's not true!" she said, and she could briefly see a hint of guilt flit across his face.
"You can't be fooled. It's both admirable and frightening," he said and Hermione frowned. "What would you like to know?" he asked.
"Everything that has made you the man sitting here before me," Hermione said freely and Professor Snape sighed. "I don't give a damn about what others say about you. I know I am not mistaken in what I can see in you. I would like to hear the truth. I want to know why Professor Dumbledore trusts you. I know he does."
He looked at her in surprise. She could tell by the look on his face that he was afraid of it. Without another word, she got up and joined him on the couch. He turned to her and she grabbed his right hand. He didn't pull it away and Hermione turned his hand over so that his palm was facing her. She stroked the lines in his skin with her index finger and lost herself in the touch of his warm hand for a moment. Then she looked up at him.
"There would be another way," she said, and Professor Snape looked at her, frowning. "I have the ability to enter people's minds and move around in them. It's like Legilimency, but more focused, more free. I can look around freely in your memories without you reliving them yourself. I offer to make up my own picture without you having to talk about your past."
He looked at her in surprise and a little fear and unconsciously withdrew the hand she had been lightly stroking.
"You don't have to worry I can do that anyway. I can't use the ability while your mental barrier is active," she said in an attempt to reassure him. He looked down at his hands and seemed lost in his own thoughts. Hermione waited patiently, but took hold of his hand again and lightly stroked his palm with her thumb.
"Fine," he said after a few seconds of silence. "I still don't know what is causing your behaviour and intentions towards me, but I can only warn you one last time," he said and Hermione nodded with a serious look on her face. Then he closed his eyes and Hermione could tell by the sad expression on his face that he had lifted his mental barrier.
She encircled his hand with her hands and squeezed it tightly before entering his mind. After being pulled through the black tunnel, she found herself on a sparsely lit street at night. She looked around briefly and realised that the manifestations of his memories were various houses along the seemingly endless road.
She took a deep breath and braced herself for the worst, always with the ulterior motive that the experiences had only formed the man for whom there was no replacement in her life.
He tried to remain calm. For about five minutes now Hermione had been looking at him with a blank stare. She was still holding his hand and breathing steadily, as if she were sleeping with her eyes open. He looked into the hazel eyes that enchanted him more each time he caught sight of her again. He wondered if those seconds would be the last he would ever look into those eyes from such a close distance again. How could she still look into his eyes after all she would see now? He still couldn't believe that she felt anything at all for him, even though he did the same for her in return. He would be eternally grateful to her for showing him that there was still beauty in life, away from his duties, from the unbreakable vows he had made to Dumbledore.
Her gift had kissed him awake in the end. It was such a selfless and wonderful gesture that the bus of emotions had run him over completely unexpectedly. Should this feeling have lasted only for such a short time? He did not know if he could cope with such a loss again. In his darkest moments of grief, he had often considered breaking the vow and putting an end to it all. He gasped as he noticed the still staring brown eyes filling with tears that started to stream down her cheeks. He felt a fierce stinging in his nose bring tears to his eyes as well. Silently, the still absent Hermione cried. It was a sight both frightening and at the same time comforting.
More minutes passed as she silently cried, a large stain spreading across her robe where the tears met the fabric. If she had not still been gripping his hand tightly, he would have dried her robe with a spell, but he would not let go of her hand. These were perhaps the last moments he could feel her warmth on his skin. He jumped when she suddenly sobbed violently and realised that she had returned from his mind. Terrified, he looked up into her face. Then, without warning, he was yanked backwards onto the cushions of the couch. A fear deeply rooted in his instincts gripped him. Fear for his life. His heart began to beat faster and faster. Time seemed to slow down. He knew what she was capable of magically. She wouldn't even need a wand.
Then her head hit his chest and her arms buried themselves deep in his robe. It took him a few moments to regain his composure. Then he exhaled sharply and raised a hand to her head. He gently stroked her braided hair as she sobbed heavily into his robe. He noticed something hard under her tightly braided hair at the hairline and felt for it briefly. It seemed to be some kind of hairband she needed to braid her unique hairstyle. He let his hand wander to her face and placed his palm on her cheek. He was pulled back in thought to their first one-on-one lesson where she had cried into his robe after reliving her memories. He did not yet understand what her reaction to his memories meant, but the fact that instead of jumping up and leaving the room she had sought physical contact caused a spark of hope to rise in him.
He himself could not stop the tears from running down his cheeks. Another effect Hermione had on him. Since Lily's death and the pain that followed, his features had been frozen, shrouded by a mask. Hermione had been able to get him to let his emotions run free without shame. It took quite a while for her to slowly calm down. She kept being shaken by violent sobs and hiccups, but she stopped crying after a while. He continued to be unsure whether she just hadn't realised yet that she was lying on his upper body. After all, even back then in the classroom on the sixth floor, she had only realised later that she had been crying into his robe. But her hands clung to him tighter and tighter.
"I'm so sorry," Hermione whispered sometime later just loud enough for him to understand. He frowned and propped himself up on his elbows, whereupon Hermione sat up. She was now kneeling in front of him on the sofa, while he was still lying propped up on his elbows.
"No problem," he said, but she shook her head. He hadn't understood what she had meant. She took a deep breath and looked deep into his black eyes. She cupped his neck with her hands and pulled him up to her so that his ear was resting against her heart.
"I'm sorry you had to go through all this. And all alone, too," she said and she felt his head twitch but she held him close. "I don't know anyone who has paid as hard for their mistakes as you have," she said, stroking through his shoulder-length hair. Reading his emotions, Hermione felt his confusion and sadness being replaced by another, stronger feeling. He felt hope and Hermione hugged him tightly to her chest once more before letting go of his head.
"What did you see?" he asked after he had sat up fully. He was now sitting cross-legged opposite her, looking expectantly into her brown eyes.
"Everything."
His eyes widened. Hermione grabbed his hand and held it tightly.
"Everything?" he asked and Hermione nodded, looking down at the hand that looked huge in her delicate fingers.
"Well, not everything really," she said, feeling her cheeks turn pink. "Time passes faster in a person's mind. Your mind has held back the unimportant memories," she said, looking up at his simultaneously fascinated and also shocked expression. "I didn't want to leave out anything that wasn't important. And if I'm honest, there was almost nothing that wasn't important," she said, and as a few key moments popped into her head, her eyes filled with tears again.
Severus Snape had been tyrannised at an early age by his father, who would beat him and his wife if he overheard young Severus doing inexplicable things that he couldn't control at his young age. His wife had only told him she was a witch when Severus had been born. Hermione had seen some touching memories between Eileen and her son that he probably didn't remember himself, because he had still been a toddler. And then Lily Evans had come into his life and she had hit like a meteorite. His world had revolved around her and she was the only person he had ever had any real friendship with.
It had broken Hermione's heart to watch the young, impressionable and hopelessly in love Severus distance himself from her more and more due to the bad influences from Slytherin, without being able to actively do anything about it. When Lily had turned her back on him and later dated his fiercest rival of all people, his world had collapsed. He had been at home nowhere, no one wanted him after his mother's untimely death, and so he wandered aimlessly until he was finally recruited for the Death Eaters by Lucius Malfoy. It had taken Hermione a lot to pursue this dark part of his past, but she had learned a lot about Voldemort and the Death Eaters while witnessing the constant discord of Severus Snape.
She had been shocked to learn that it had been he who had unknowingly and without any intention caused Voldemort to target Lily, whom he still loved dearly and thought of daily. The pain in Severus Snape's life had overwhelmed her in his teens, but she had broken down during the memories in which he found out that Voldemort was coming after her.
There had been too much pain, which Hermione felt as if it were her own. She had had to force herself to look further into his memories, knowing that only more pain would follow. His return to Professor Dumbledore in an attempt to save her. His attempt to convince Voldemort that he was wrong and that he had not fully heard the prophecy. Then came the memory that had torn Hermione's heart apart, in the most intense emotional pain she had ever felt.
He had been there.
Minutes after Lily and James Potter had died, trying to stop Voldemort, willing to sacrifice his life if necessary. But he had arrived too late. He had found her lifeless body. Hermione had watched in horror as he held her to him, screaming and crying, drawing his wand and pointing it at his own chest. But before he had been able to take his own life, he had been interrupted by a sound. The previously completely silent baby in the cot had begun to cry. Shocked, he had looked for a few seconds into the green eyes of the one-year-old Harry and recognised them as Lily's eyes. In Dumbledore's office, in the presence of his surly brother Aberforth, he had made several unbreakable vows to the headmaster that would forever bind him to the boy's welfare and the plan to bring down his former master. Severus Snape had had no will to live at that point, but he had done it for her, for the boy who had her eyes.
It had wrecked Hermione emotionally. She had spent twenty years of lifetime in memories, so overwhelmed by the never-ending pain that she had had to let her emotions out when she arrived back on Professor Snape's couch. It had been too much pain for two lifetimes and she knew she had only felt a fraction of it herself when she had entered the memories.
"Thank you for trusting me," she finally said after wiping the tears from her face. He just looked at her with his black, tunnel-like eyes and Hermione could tell he had never expected her to still show empathy for him. She squeezed his hand. He opened his mouth, but a few moments later he closed it again. "I know you are wondering why I am still here," she said and he nodded. "I am still here because everything I have witnessed has made you the man sitting here in front of me. You have shown me that my feelings have not betrayed me. I am aware of your past, but without that past, you would not be who you are today," she said, taking a deep breath. "And this is the man I fell in love with," she said and Professor Snape's eyes widened. "I know that the pain is a part of you. That the wounds may never heal. But I want to be the one to show you that there is more to this life for you than fulfilling your unbreakable vows."
He looked down at his hand, still firmly clasped in hers. It tickled lightly on the back of her hand as his tears fell down on it. He sank down and Hermione wrapped him tightly in her arms. It filled her with pure happiness that he could and would show his feelings so openly in front of her. She rested her chin gently on his hair and for the first time she noticed his scent of fireside, juniper and blackberries, which was even more present there, bringing back the tingling in her stomach that had been suppressed by the strong emotions. She stroked through his stringy black hair and could feel it soothing him.
Absently, Hermione stroked Professor Snape's hair until he moved his head and looked up at her. His cheeks were red and a few streaks showed the trails where his tears had run down them. She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand and could feel him trembling.
"Let me bring light into your life that has been in darkness for far too long," she whispered and sighed as he closed the distance between them and his lips met hers. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the kiss that was so emotionally charged, that said so much more than any words he could have uttered. Like her first kiss with him, it was a sweet, innocent kiss, nothing more than a light touch of their lips, but nothing concluded the events of the evening better than this delicate touch. He encircled her waist with his arms and pulled her closer to him, giving Hermione that incredible feeling again of being protected from everything in the world.
When they broke away from each other, Hermione looked deep into his eyes and smiled broadly at him. She could see that he was emotionally upset, but also happy. Then a worried expression came over his face and he opened his mouth, but Hermione was quicker and put her index finger on his lips.
"We can worry about that later. There are so many more questions, but they are for another day. If I may, I would like to return to Ravenclaw Tower to rest," she said, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.
He nodded and she stood up, a little wobbly on her feet given the storm of emotions that had swept over her that evening, but she didn't regret a single moment. She was reinforced in her feeling when he pulled her into a tight hug again when she already had her hand on the doorknob.
"Good night," she said, smiling shyly up at him. After he had pressed his gift into her hand so she wouldn't forget it at his quarters.
"Good night," he replied in a soft voice, releasing her from his grasp. She looked one last time into his black eyes, which were ringed with little dimples when he smiled at her. Then she turned and left his office.
As the door slammed shut behind her, Severus Snape dropped into his comfortable armchair. He felt old, but at the same time like a teenager. He still could not comprehend what had happened in the last few weeks. However, it had already become clear to him that he felt more for Hermione than platonic friendship when, while trying to rescue her from the potion accident, he had felt the confrontation with the fear of losing her stabbing a knife straight through his heart.
The more he had got to know her in the days that followed, when she had slept in his rooms, the more he had realised how much her character attracted him. She was like Lily in many ways, but he had realised over the past year that the great weight that had been placed on her shoulders had caused her to mature quickly. He had been shocked when Professor Dumbledore had shown him the memory about the prophecy he believed concerned Hermione in the second week of her first year. But she had developed so quickly that there was little doubt about it. Dumbledore had asked her explicitly about it last year and she had confirmed to him that she was the Daughter of the Raven.
It had given him hope that he could carry out his agenda, that he and Dumbledore were not alone in the fight against the Dark Lord. At the same time, there now was one more person for whom he felt responsible, for whom he could muster considerably more empathy than for Lily's son. He snorted at the thought that this was not particularly difficult. His gaze fell on the gift Hermione had so surprisingly handed him. It had been a wake-up call. As if from a cold, black lake, he had come gasping to the surface and experienced again what it was like to really feel something. The feelings after her accident had only been a taste of the hurricane Hermione had unleashed in him.
He looked into the perfect replica of Lily's eyes on his commode. Would she have been happy that he had found someone to show his feelings to? Of course she would have been happy. He closed his eyes and shook his head frantically to shoo away the renewed flush of emotion like a pesky fly. How could she still stand by him? She had seen it all. Seen that he was responsible for one of her classmates growing up without his parents and that the Dark Lord haunted him. He looked down at his hands and wondered again what she saw in him. Along with his mother and, to some extent, Lily, she had been one of the few people who had ever made him feel like they recognised the Severus he really was.
But what would happen next? He couldn't have a romantic relationship with a fourteen-year-old student, even though every fibre of his body and magic screamed for it. He had noticed it when he had healed her injured finger earlier this year. When their hands had touched, he had been able to feel her magic reaching for his own. She must have felt it too, because she had asked him not to let go of her hand. He buried his face in his hands in frustration. Why couldn't there be one situation in his life that was easy? It was as if there was a curse on him that had not been lifted since he was born.
Author's Note:
Hello you beautiful people, I hope you are doing well. I can't believe it's been a little over a year since I started writing this story! I took the opportunity to do something I wanted to do for months now, which is write a prologue, and in that a real prologue, not just the first chapter of the story. So if you have read the story before and started without the new prologue, feel free to check it out and tell me what you think, if you want to spoil yourself (just a little bit, promise), as it is set in the future. It has been a real journey and I'm really glad I went ahead and started such a big project. I never wrote something longer than 25k words, so coming this far and still having the wish to continue is a big deal for me. Thank you all for the kind reviews and the follows/favourites I have received the past year, you are the best!
And of course, if you liked this chapter, I would be really happy to read a few lines from you.
See you next time!
Kasing