Coffee, Chaos, and Questions, Part Two

Disclaimer: Same as before…

The Pit, Headquarters Building Lounge
Roadblock, Beach Head, Conrad, and Kate
21 February 2002, 1158

"Well, the kid should be calmed down by now," Roadblock began as he waited in the lounge.

"If he's still alive," Beach Head smirked, "The Sarge will run that little punk into the ground! He'll be lucky if he has any strength to crawl back!"

"Wonder who's winning the bet?" Conrad ventured only to have Kate elbow him in the ribs.

Just as Conrad spoke Todd hopped happily into the lounge before saying, "Wow! I just had the best time! Mountain climbing sure is fun? Eh Sarge? Sarge? Sarge? Come on Sarge! Get the lead out!"

Roadblock, Conrad, Kate, and Beach Head turned to see Sergeant Slaughter, the toughest Drill Sergeant who ever lived, stagger into the lounge. After he dropped his backpack he groaned, "Help me."

Then he collapsed onto the couch. For what felt like hour-long minutes no one spoke until Beach Head managed to collect his thoughts, "Sarge, what did he do to you?"

"We went up the mountain and then back down. Then he wanted to race up the mountain. So I said why not? That was the biggest mistake of my life!"

"I won the race!" Todd beamed.

"How did he win with a twenty pound backpack on?" Beach Head asked.

"You know those old cartoons where the skunk bounces happily all over the place without a care in the world?" Sergeant Slaughter replied.

"Vividly," Kate replied.

"Just picture the skunk jumping something like forty-something feet and that's pretty much what that was like," Sergeant Slaughter replied.

"No way," Kate replied.

"Do you see the proof?" Sergeant Slaughter said as Todd hopped wildly around the lounge.

"That was great!" Todd shouted, "I love mountain climbing! Can we do it again, Sarge? Huh? Can we? Can we?"

"Maybe later. After I find my lungs," Sergeant Slaughter replied.

"I never thought I'd see the sight I found," Roadblock began, "Someone finally ran the Sarge into the ground."

"I wanna train some more!" Todd said, jumping up and down.

"It's official," Sergeant Slaughter replied, flopping down onto the couch, "I'm getting old. There was a time that a little thing like climbing a mountain wouldn't tire me out like this."

"You've never done it with a mutant teenager hyped up on BA's coffee," Roadblock observed.

"Good point. Any more of that coffee left?"

"I'll have some more!" Todd said.

"OH NO YOU WON'T!" Everyone in the room shouted.

"Aww…" Todd pouted, before hopping over to Roadblock, "So what do you wanna do, Roadblock?"

"You're not tired?" Roadblock asked, incredulous.

"Not yet," Todd shook his head.

"Oh great," Roadblock groaned.

"And you still decided to bring a thermos full of that stuff back to the room?" Kate whispered to Conrad.

"It wasn't that bad a cup of coffee," Conrad replied.

"Minus the fact that it's got Todd insanely wired right now!" Kate replied.

"YAHOO! YIPEEE!" Todd shouted as he hopped from floor, to ceiling, to wall around the lounge.

"Good point. But I'm sure if you're likely to have a late night or an early morning BA's coffee isn't a bad thing," Conrad observed.

"Provided Todd, Althea, or God forbid the triplets don't get a hold of it," Kate replied.

"Good point! Those three are insane enough without BA's coffee…" Conrad began before pausing.

"I agree," Kate replied, before noticing Conrad's voice trailing off. She was about to ask him what he was going on about when she saw Conrad raise his index finger to his lips.

Kate followed Conrad's line of sight to where Todd looking around, before spotting something hidden in a camouflage backpack near the chair Beach Head was sitting in.

"Oh great, now what do I do?" Roadblock groaned.

"Don't look at me," Beach Head said with a snorted laugh, "It's not my fault you can't control him."

Because Beach Head and Roadblock were busy arguing about Roadblock's apparent lack of control over Todd neither man saw what Conrad and Kate were witnessing. Todd's hand reached into a partially open main compartment of the backpack, pulling out a brown teddy bear wearing camouflage fatigues and shiny little black boots.

"Hey, is this your teddy bear?" Todd asked.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!?" Beach Head roared, "YOU WERE IN MY BACKPACK YOU LITTLE SNEAK!"

"Let's play a game!" Todd shouted, hopping up and down, waving the bear.

Beach Head stood up from the chair to start chasing Todd. Todd whooped happily and shouted, "I've got Sergeant Snuffles!"

"MAKE HIM GIVE THAT BACK!" Beach Head shouted.

"What am I supposed to do?" Roadblock asked, "I can't control him, remember."

"Unbelievable," Kate groaned as she began to make a couple notes on her PDA, "I'm going to have a heck of a time describing Todd on a caffeine high."

"Why not just say coffee and mutants don't mix and leave it at that?" Conrad replied.

"You don't know Agent Baer," Kate replied, "He's going to want every single detail and...HEY!"

Kate yelped and her chair flipped over backward when Todd grabbed her PDA and she tumbled backward in a graceless heap.

"ROADBLOCK MAKE HIM GIVE IT BACK!" Beach Head shouted as he chased Todd around the room.

Kate rolled out of the way, narrowly avoiding having Beach Head step on her midsection as he gave chase.

"Hey! Watch it!" Kate shouted. She felt a hand under each of her arms and the sensation of being dragged out of the way.

"Don't look at me," Roadblock said with a smile, "I can't control him, remember?"

"Beach Head, do you think you could control where you stamp your feet? You nearly stomped on my stomach chasing the kid!" Kate exclaimed.

Conrad reached down to help Kate to her feet and she did sway slightly, having worn a pair of high heels that day. Not the best footwear to try and chase down a hyperactive mutant teenager, Kate thought.

She dusted herself off as Beach Head continued to try to chase Todd around the room, "I'm thinking that the nearest mental institution in Washington D.C. has its newest inmate."

"Who? Todd?" Conrad asked.

"No. Me, once I submit today's report," Kate groaned, "Baer isn't going to believe this."

"There's always omission," Conrad replied.

"I'm seriously considering that," Kate sighed.

After about another hour of Beach Head fruitlessly chasing Todd around the lounge Roadblock managed to get the kid to give back the items he had taken.

"So whatdya want to do now?" Todd asked, hopping up and down.

"Why don't you go play in a minefield," Beach Head glared at him.

"CAN I?" Todd asked, eyes going wide and fluttering his eyelids.

"NO!" Roadblock shouted. "Come on, playtime's over. Let's go talk to Lifeline now, shall we?"

"Okay," Todd said as he hopped alongside Roadblock.

Roadblock, out of the corner of his eye, noticed Conrad and Kate were following them. Sticking closer to me than my own shadow, not surprising. Roadblock thought. They're not bad people, however given they're not members of G.I. Joe I still don't 100% trust either of them.

"Kid, do you ever walk?" Roadblock said, turning his attention back to Todd.

"Sorry," Todd replied in mid hop, and upon landing reverted to walking, "It just comes natural to me, y'know."

"I guess," Roadblock replied as the foursome walked into the Infirmary and towards Lifeline's office, "Now stay with Agent Todd and Agent Hart. Don't go too far…"

Lifeline looked up from his computer as Roadblock walked into the room.

"Lifeline, do you have any knock out drops?"

"What?" Lifeline asked.

"The kid is on a caffeine high," Roadblock explained, "Please, just something to calm him down. Before he runs me down!"

"Roadblock, that's not idea to give the boy too much medication, especially given his mutated metabolism," Lifeline replied.

"Please!" Roadblock replied, "I tried having him exercise it off. It didn't work."

"I know. I saw Sarge, Tunnel Rat, and Big Lob earlier," Lifeline sighed, "Let me have a look at him."

"Thanks," Roadblock said as they walked out into the hall. Todd was nowhere to be seen, neither were Agent Todd or Agent Hart.

"Oh no," Lifeline groaned, "You don't think he went out to look at the tanks again, did he?"

"How did he get past an agent from ACME and an agent from the US Secret Service?" Roadblock said.

"Oh Lord," Lifeline groaned as the two of them went around the building looking for him.

Roadblock reached into his pocket and grabbed his cell phone. He punched in Agent Hart's number and when he picked up he heard Conrad's reply, "Agent Hart…"

"What the Hell is going on here? Where's Todd?" Roadblock demanded.

"Relax, Monsieur Roadblock," Conrad said, "He's got plenty of adult supervision and…"

Roadblock heard an explosion and the sound Todd's maniacal laughter. Roadblock dropped his phone.

"Roadblock? What's going on?" Lifeline asked, as he scooped up the phone.

"Oh Lord, that boy and weapons are not a good combination!" Roadblock replied as he and Lifeline headed outside, "If he's gotten into the grenades…"

"Yes, Agent Hart, this is Lifeline. What's going on?"

"Todd's with me and Agent Todd and some other Joes at the firing range," Conrad replied, "The one for the rocket launchers…"

Lifeline cupped the mouthpiece of the phone and relayed the information. Roadblock's eyes just about bugged out of his head.

"RPGs!? Todd's gotten into the RPGs!" Roadblock shouted.

Lifeline said, "Hang on, we'll be right there."

After getting into one of the government sedans on the base Lifeline and Roadblock headed for the nearby firing range.

"Roadblock…(gasp)...slow down! Todd's got adult supervision!" Lifeline shouted as he fell behind.

"Fire in the hole!" Conrad's shout could be heard, and then the sound of a rocket firing…

The Pit, Range Complex
Todd, Kate, Conrad, Flint, Sci-Fi, Low Light
21 February 2002, 1315

Note to self, Kate thought, Phrase very carefully about how Todd received a lesson in firing RPGs.

Kate stood back as a Joe called Sci Fi was holding up a tubular weapon with a pistol grip handle. Three large green rockets were in a bag on his back.

"Now Todd, this is the RPG-7," Sci Fi began, "One of the most common rocket propelled grenade launchers on the planet."

"I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to explain this to Baer," Kate began.

"Well, you could always say he received a class familiarizing him with various RPGs," Conrad replied.

"I've never fired a weapon before," Todd began.

"Don't worry," Conrad said, turning briefly to address him, "that means you won't have any bad habits."

"You are making a good point," Kate said to Conrad, before tugging on his sleeve to whisper in his ear, "Are you sure you're not worried that the kid's learning about weapons?"

"He's on an Army base, surrounded by professionals. Nothing to be alarmed about," Conrad replied.

"I might disagree with you there, Hart," Kate replied, "I hope the kid doesn't think of leveling something like that at the Presidential Limo or Marine One."

She watched Conrad head over to Todd and Sci Fi.

Conrad guided Todd to a position where he had one knee on the ground, a practiced kneeling firing position before putting the launcher onto his shoulder.

"Good, now squeeze the trigger slow and easy," Sci Fi directed.

CLICK. Todd dry fired the launcher two more times before Sci Fi said, "You've got the concept down, kid. Now let's see you fire the real thing. See that junked car over there?"

"Yeah," Todd replied.

Conrad took one of the rockets and loaded it into the launcher, "Alright Todd, remember, check behind you before firing an RPG. The backblast can be fatal to anyone standing directly behind you."

Todd looked behind him, seeing nothing or no one there before Conrad tapped his shoulder shouting, "Fire in the hole!"

Todd squeezed the trigger and the rocket streaked downrange before exploding into the car.

"Direct hit! And you say you've never fired a weapon before?" Sci Fi said.

"I'm impressed," Flint replied.

"You guys are maniacs," Kate grumbled.

"BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!" Todd shouted wildly.

After firing three more times, Todd hit the mangled metal remnants of the junked car precisely each time.

"How you do that?" Low Light asked.

"Easy, I just pretended that Magneto and Mystique were driving the car," Todd replied.

"See," Conrad turned to Kate, with a smile, "nothing to be alarmed about, he's got his aggression and training leveled in the right way."

"You're insane," Kate replied.

"Well, I wouldn't lose any sleep if Mystique and Magneto were blown into shards," Conrad replied.

"Are you sure you've never done this before?" Low Light asked Todd.

"Nope," Todd replied.

"Gentlemen, I believe we have a prodigy on our hands," Sci Fi said proudly.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Roadblock bellowed as he ran up to them, Lifeline gasping behind him, "There is no way you are going to teach that boy about weapons!"

"But he's good at it," Low Light protested.

"Aw! Come on!" Sci Fi protested.

"NO!" Roadblock shouted, grabbing Todd and dragging him back towards the car.

"You're no fun, Roadblock," Flint added.

"That was fun," Todd began, "Can I blow something else up now?"

"NO!" Lifeline and Roadblock said simultaneously.

"Lifeline…" Roadblock replied.

"Let's take him to my office," Lifeline replied, "I've got an idea."

"I'll try anything," Roadblock said.

Conrad and Kate followed them to the car and after a short ride back to the Infirmary they headed to Lifeline's office.

"Okay Todd, have a seat in that chair over there and relax," Lifeline said.

Todd did so and Lifeline placed his hands on Todd's temples, "Now I want you to relax. Don't be afraid."

Lifeline began to gently massage Todd's forehead, and his hands began to glow.

"What? Are you a mutant too?" Todd yelped.

"Sorry," Lifeline shook his head, "I may have healing abilities, but I don't have an X-Gene. Technically I'm not a mutant."

"Then what are you?" Todd asked, calming down.

"I don't really know," Lifeline replied with a shrug, "I just happen to have healing abilities. Now relax. That's right. Just close your eyes and think happy thoughts...Just relax…"

Soon Todd was snoring peacefully.

"Thank you," Roadblock said, carrying the sleeping boy out of the infirmary and back to their quarters.

The Pit, The Mess Hall
Lifeline, Kate, Conrad, and Sergeant Slaughter
21 February 2002, 1400

"I could use a cup of coffee right now," Lifeline said.

"Me too," Kate replied, and soon she, Conrad and Lifeline were on their way to the mess hall.

As they walked they happened to meet Sergeant Slaughter on the way, "So you finally got the kid to sleep, huh, Lifeline?"

"Yes, things should be back to normal now," Lifeline said.

"Why do I get the feeling that the other shoe is about to drop?" Kate replied.

"Mademoiselle, perhaps there is nothing to be alarmed about," Conrad began just as Lifeline opened the door.

"WHAT THE-?" Lifeline gasped with surprise.

There was water all over the cafeteria that formed into a mini-tidal wave that began to chase Beach Head before it overtook him and washed him away.

"SHIPWRECK!" Beach Head shouted.

"Don't look at me!" Shipwreck sputtered as he floundered in the water, "Blame BA!"

"Yahoo!" Althea shouted as she skimmed over the top of the water, "I love coffee!"

"Not again," Sarge groaned.

"I might well have been wrong," Conrad replied.

"We really got to get BA to put a warning label on his coffee," Lifeline added.

Kate,

Please tell me that you're exaggerating about this entire coffee episode? It sounds like that boy and coffee are one dangerous combination.

I hope that minus the chaos you're doing well. I miss you so much.

I love you.

Tim

To Be Continued...