You've lived in a studio apartment since you moved to Equestria, and you're excited to upgrade. You're scrambling to pack when the movers arrive.

"Howdy," Applejack says. "Ready to move?"

When you hired Apple Family Movers, you expected a crowd of earth ponies. You look up and down the street. "Just the two of you?"

"Eeyup," says Big Mac.

"No cart or wagon or anything?"

"Nnnope."

"Uh, well, okay then. Come on in."

Applejack surveys the boxes. "'Bout what Ah expected," she says. "This all?"

"Two more boxes to go."

"Then we'll get started here while ya finish up."

You return to your kitchenette and continue loading cookware into boxes. You can't see the movers from where you're squatting, but you hear a sucking noise, like something large being pulled into a small space. It's a peculiar noise that you think you've never heard before.

You tape your last boxes shut. "Finished!" you call with relief. "Last two boxes are ready."

When you stand, you see Applejack's behind up against one of your moving boxes. On the other side of the box, Big Mac pushes it into her with his head. There's another sucking noise, and the box disappears into Applejack.

You scratch your head. "Where'd the box go?"

"Where'd it look like it went?" asks Applejack.

"There's not really a polite way to say this but—up your ass?"

Applejack rolls her eyes. "No, it's in my cloaca. We're loadin' the boxes into my cloaca."

"Um, I don't know what that means." Which is half true. You know what a cloaca is, but you've never heard of putting boxes in one.

"A cloaca is just about the most useful part of a mare's body!" she says. "Well, mine at least. Ain't many of us that have one. Want a peek inside?"

Your heart races. "I'm not sure that—"

"In fact, how 'bout Ah give you a ride to your new place? Big Mac, buck him."

You shout, "Nonononono—" but Big Mac bucks you at Applejack. Her cloaca swells. It reaches towards you, prehensile and greedy. As it folds itself around you, you scream.

Inside, after your eyes adjust, you see stacks of cardboard boxes. From the writing on them, you know they're yours. Suddenly another pair of boxes appears behind you. Applejack's muffled voice says, "We're all set!"

The floor rolls under you like a ship at sea. You try to steady yourself using one of the stacks, but it topples and you fall to the floor. "I want out of here!" you yell.

Applejack says, "You like it in there? Shucks, my cloaca ain't that special."

Eventually the motion stops. The walls of the cloaca pulse. A bright light appears, and you're expelled into your new apartment.

Applejack expels your boxes into your new living room in neat stacks. She asks, "Whad'ya think? How was the ride?"

You lie trembling on the floor, clutching the ground in terror. "I am not paying for this," you gasp.

Big Mac looms over you. His muzzle fills your vision, and his breath is hot against your face. He says nothing.

"Changed my mind," you say. "You deserve a big tip."