Chapter Forty-Two
Chris spent most of the next twenty-four hours watching over his bondmate. David seemed a lot better but was still not entirely his normal self so they'd hung out with Thomas and had a quiet kind of day, and Emily had come to see them. Spock had come over too, able to sense Leo's anguish through his parental bond but unable to get in contact with him.
"He hasn't called me back either Spock," Chris sighed, sipping on his herbal tea again as Spock did the same. David was asleep curled in a ball on the couch with his head on Chris' thigh.
"I find it curious that he would simply disappear after such an incident. And he has not spoken to you either?" he asked of Emily who was curled in the armchair slightly further down the room under a soft blanket, a mug of tea also clasped in her hands. Chris had noticed her behaviour had been a little erratic lately and wondered if whatever was going through Leo's head was affecting her too.
"And your bond?" he asked and Emily's face shifted to a pained expression.
"Nothing specific; just this miserable, wretched feeling coming across it. I've called him and I've tried to reach out in my head… but he doesn't want to talk to anyone," she said and he nodded, looking thoughtful.
"Do you believe he could have travelled? Gone off-planet?" he asked and Emily frowned.
"Why would he do that? That would be weird behaviour for him. I know Scotty is counting on him to keep an eye on stuff at engineering until he's back on his feet so he'll probably show up there for work tomorrow," Emily responded, setting her mug down and picking at her fingernails. Chris knew her well enough to recognise this was something she did when she didn't want to talk about a subject any further.
"So Spock, you got any baby name suggestions? We're still stuck," Chris asked, changing the subject.
They ran through a long selection of Vulcan baby names, as well as a few human ones that Spock recalled Jim liking.
"We're pretty rock and roll right, falling asleep on the couch before 9pm?" David asked groggily as he sat up and stretched, slumping back against the couch cushions and cuddling into Chris.
"Caring for a young child is challenging. Caring for two is infinitely more challenging," Spock said with what looked distinctly like a small smirk.
"We'll make it. Thomas is so good, he's no trouble," Chris defended and David snorted a laugh.
"I remember the days I could stay awake past 9pm."
"Indeed. I am certain Christopher used to also enjoy late nights, though I am sure he would not recall many of them," Spock deadpanned and David and Emily both laughed, Chris smirking but mocking hurt.
"Are you… are you making a drinking joke at my expense Spock? Wow, damn, did that go on the table as being acceptable to joke about now?" Chris asked and Spock looked at him.
"As I am now certain that your lifestyle has stabilised and you are unlikely to return to previous habits I believe that yes, it now acceptable to find humour in the situation, as per human customs," he pointed out, smirking again.
"Are you feeling ok Spock?" Chris asked with a laugh.
"I am fine. However I should depart soon, I do not wish to keep anybody awake. If I hear from Leo I will inform you all," he said, standing up to leave. Chris found that he didn't actually want him to. He saw him way less often than he saw Bones and Carol and although they were like parents to him now it wasn't the same as the real thing, and the pain of seeing Spock without Jim had dulled considerably over time since Jim's passing.
Chris got up to see him to the door, both David and Emily bidding him goodnight and remaining in the lounge.
"Jim would be proud of you," Spock said suddenly as he pulled on his coat.
"Er- you think?" Chris asked, scratching the back of his head and thinking back on his not-so-finest moments over the last couple of years, and the fact that he had yet to graduate from the academy.
"You have matured greatly and become a good man. I am gratified that David McCoy's exemplary behaviour was able to influence you positively," he commented and Chris snorted.
"You can call his behaviour exemplary if you want, but you don't know about half the stuff I know," Chris smirked, a particularly memorable image popping into his mind of a younger David at a party licking alcohol off a semi-naked female, as well as another incident which involved him vomiting into a potted plant.
"I am certain he has exhibited bad behaviour at times but nothing which would be on the level of yours."
"Wow thanks Spock, you're making me feel great," Chris laughed, standing up a little straighter as his back twinged.
"You are well?" Spock asked, noticing him flinch a little.
"Yeah, feeling ok, just getting a little back pain here and there."
"Jim experienced this also, I believe it is common."
"Yeah, it's ok, tolerable, and Bones and Seren have both confirmed this week that everything is going good, he's putting on weight and my liver function isn't getting worse which is good," Chris said and Spock gave a single nod, looking at him quite seriously.
"You must not put yourself in danger, you must listen to their medical advice," he said firmly, his dark brown eyes piercing into his own similar ones.
"Yeah, I don't want to do anything dangerous. Bones already said even if he has to come out sooner than we want he still has really good odds. So he can just keep on growing until he's ready I guess," Chris said positively.
"You are still very small," Spock noted and Chris turned sideways on and flattened his shirt so Spock could see through his shirt.
"Not that small! Noticeable now."
"Jim was much larger by this many weeks," Spock said with a distinct sadness creeping into his voice.
"There was two of us in there," Chris laughed and Spock nodded.
"Indeed you are correct. Goodnight, please continue to take care of yourself."
Chris bid Spock a good night in return and stood on the front step for a moment, just breathing in the still evening air. He could feel a steady stream of uneasiness flowing across his bond with Leo and it was making him restless.
Leo, what's going on? Talk to me.
A few miles away Leo had remained in his motel room all day, ignoring his communicator and spending a lot of time pacing the room trying to think.
He needed help. He needed as much help as he could get, but without any evidence of Jim being alive he knew he was unlikely to get any official help in the way of Starfleet. If David would make a witness statement about it that would hold some weight but Leo doubted that he even knew what was locked in his memory, and he hoped that if he did know he would have done something about it by now.
He'd settled on the conclusion that he needed to tell Spock and after waiting for it to get properly dark he'd made sure to pull his hood low over his eyes and sneak out of the motel, walking quickly with his head down to the nearest tram stop which would take him in the direction of Spock's house.
It didn't help that Chris had been so high-profile again recently with his identical face seemingly plastered everywhere. Leo cursed cutting off his long hair as it had granted him some welcome anonymity.
A man on the tram stared at him for far longer than was normal, Leo shifting awkwardly under his gaze.
"Hey, you that Kirk kid?" he asked eventually and Leo froze at the directness of the question, not really able to verbalise anything at that moment.
"I think he is, but I think he's the other one," another passenger interjected.
"What's the matter kid, you think you're better than me?" the first man asked, stepping closer to him. Leo backed away and did his best to stare out the window, still not able to get his brain to process words to come out of his mouth.
The tram reached a stop and Leo immediately stepped off, he had a way to walk now but if it meant nobody else would recognise him it was the preferable option.
By the time he reached the house his head was thudding so badly he could barely see. As he stumbled up the driveway the door opened and Spock stood silhouetted by the hallway light. He came outside a few steps, his feet uncharacteristically bare on the rough cold concrete.
"Jim-" Leo choked out, Spock catching him in his arms as he stumbled, barely able to hold his own weight.
"I am not Jim," Spock said flatly, helping Leo into the house and setting him down on the couch gently.
"Jim-" Leo tried again, his mind burning with the image of Jim from David's memory. He reached for Spock, hands flailing, trying to make contact with any bare skin so he could pass on the image.
Jim is alive! he roared mentally, hoping the sheer volume of the thought would ricochet back and outwards, reaching Spock, maybe reaching Chris.
Spock recoiled slightly.
"You are unwell. Are you under the influence of any-"
"Jim- is alive," Leo grit out, his vision fading as his mind raced still, struggling under the weight of the contents of David's mind.
"Spock you have to listen to me," Leo pleaded, reaching out again, blindly this time as his vision failed entirely.
"I am listening. Please be calm. Are you in pain? Have you been in pain since you initiated your meld with David?"
Leo's grabbing managed to snag him one wiry wrist which he clung to, forcing his fingertips underneath the sleeve of Spock's shirt and touching his skin, channelling the memory across with as much energy as he could muster before passing out from the exertion.
When he woke someone was shining a light in his eyes and there were two people kneeling over him.
"Leo? Take a deep breath for me," Seren's voice drifted through to him as his eyes struggled to focus.
"Ser- Jim – Jim is alive," he forced out, turning his face away from the light shining in his eyes.
He could hear a tricorder scanning him now.
"He is risking permanent neurological damage if he continues to experience this level of strain-"a male voice cut across that Leo distantly recognised.
"If I was to attempt-"
"JIM IS ALIVE, WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING TO ME?!" Leo stunned even himself with the volume of his voice.
The room was filled with a deathly silence for a long few moments before Spock spoke first.
"Why do you believe this?" Spock asked calmly, Leo felt the couch shift as Spock's weight settled next to him, close to him but not touching.
"Because… because he was on the Orion ship. With David. I saw it in his mind. We were fighting and I touched his face and his whole mind just jumped across all at once and I saw everything. He looked Jim straight in the face and Jim pulled the guy off him that was… attacking him," Leo explained, doing his best to slow his brain down to a more sustainable level of activity.
"Why would he not have told anyone, if this was indeed what he had witnessed?" Spock asked, again, maintaining his calm tone of voice.
"He doesn't remember it. At least I don't think he does," Leo explained, trying to open his eyes again and finding his vision returning a little more clearly than just blurred outlines. He could make out Seren now, and Soren was also there, he had been the familiar male voice he had heard. He hadn't seen him in some time since he had stopped attending his therapy sessions.
"You have spoken with David McCoy at length about his experiences aboard this ship, did he ever mention this?" Spock asked, his voice still carefully controlled.
"I cannot share any details of our discussions, there are extremely sensitive and protected by the deepest confidentiality between myself and my patient," Soren responded flatly.
"We can ask David himself," Seren suggested, a hint of emotion that Leo couldn't place creeping into her voice.
"He doesn't know that he remembers it. He'll need help to bring it to the surface," Leo muttered, holding his thudding head in his hands.
"I would suggest we administer a sedative to allow you a greater chance of controlling the current burden on your mind," Soren suggested and Leo glared at him by way of a response.
"Isn't it possible that it could be a hallucination?" Seren suggested and Leo felt yet more rage bubble up inside him.
"I'm not hallucinating!" he hissed at his sister and Seren shook her head.
"Not your hallucination. David's hallucination. What if his mind gave him what he needed at that moment in time? What if under the circumstances of whatever happened on that ship, his mind gave him what he needed in that moment and that was… Jim, there to rescue him or something?" she offered, finishing off with distinct uncertainty in her voice.
"You can't even convince yourself that that isn't bullshit," Leo dismissed immediately and Soren bristled. Leo noticed they were both dressed nicely, Seren was even wearing a dress, something he couldn't recall ever seeing since he'd gained his sight or even hearing of when they were kids.
"Were you two on a date?" he asked bluntly and they both looked slightly guilty.
"We were undertaking a social engagement when Spock called-"
"A social engagement huh? That's what you wanna call it? You hurt my sister and I'll kill you myself, slowly, understand?" Leo lashed out; the pain in his head was so bad he didn't feel at all in control of the horrible things coming out of his mouth.
"Leonard," Spock said sharply. Leo just looked at him.
"May I suggest you permit someone to access your mind to assist you in putting some order to your thoughts? You are clearly not capable of doing so independently at this time," he said flatly and Leo closed his eyes tightly for a second, trying to force down another wave of anger as it rose.
"Ok Spock, get in my head, I'll show you this memory and you can tell me what you think about it then. You two can go back to your date now, I'm sorry to have bothered you," he said petulantly.
A few minutes later saw Seren and Soren having left (though Leo suspected they hadn't gone far and were staying nearby in case further intervention was needed) and Leo and Spock sat alone now in the living room.
"You are certain?" Spock asked seriously and Leo nodded.
"It's him Spock. Just do it already, make my head shut up," he sighed, closing his eyes and waiting to feel Spock's fingertips touch his face.
Spock was always so controlled in a mind-meld, much more so than Leo or Chris ever was. He pointedly made his way immediately to the memory Leo was offering to him, recoiling a little bit when he realised exactly what the memory entailed as he experienced David's memory of his assault aboard the Orion ship. He became incredibly focused however, when Jim dived across and threw the Orion aside. Blue eyes looked up from under a matt of long, sandy coloured hair and Leo felt Spock fighting with his emotions through the meld. The memory ended, Leo assumed David had probably blacked out, and Spock withdrew from the meld with a jolt.
When Leo opened his eyes and looked at him he could see that he was breathing heavily.
"I… am… I am uncertain that this is plausible," Spock said finally after a long few seconds of faltering.
"Come on Spock, of course it's plausible! He's James T. Kirk! Nobody ever found his body. You know it's possible. You know all that weird stuff with our communicators was him trying to get in contact with us before. He's alive," Leo said quickly, practically able to see the thoughts racing through Spock's head as he grappled with the memory he had just witnessed.
"I require meditation," Spock said finally.
Leo stared at him for a few long seconds until he turned his gaze and fixed his dark eyes on him.
"I suggest you undertake the same. When your mind is more stable we will speak with David and Christopher."
"Does that mean you believe me?" Leo asked and Spock held his forced neutral expression though Leo noticed him subtly close his mouth a little bit tighter.
"I believe we need to speak to the owner of this memory who does not know you possess something so personal," Spock said firmly and Leo opened his mouth to argue, Spock holding up his hand to silence him.
"Do not argue. We will try to speak to David alone; upon further thought I do not believe it is wise to trouble your brother with this at present."
"Why, I thought he was doing okay?" Leo asked quickly.
"I believe he is well but I am certain he would not welcome any stress or uncertainty. His health must be of paramount importanc-" Spock began and recoiled as a sharp pain erupted in his head, fading as quickly as it had started.
"Jim must be of paramount importance, if he's alive we have to find him now," Leo hissed, trying to contain his frustration.
"You are becoming more adept at launching a telepathic assault without physical contact," Spock commented and Leo shifted in his seat.
"You've known for a long time that I can do that Spock so don't act surprised," he responded flatly. He'd told Spock a long time ago, when he had received strange comm messages seemingly from Jim about his ability to cause someone pain without touching them. "I'm still keeping it to myself like you suggested," he said and Spock nodded.
"I would prefer if you did not choose to test this ability on me," Spock sad finally, getting up and leaving the room, his footsteps retreating upstairs as he went to meditate.
Leo sat restlessly on the couch for a short while before he couldn't stand it anymore. He needed to speak to David about what he'd seen on the ship, and it couldn't wait.
David lay awake and listened to Chris' heavy breathing beside him. The slow, deep drag in and soft huff out was normally soothing but with his frayed nerves from the events of the previous days it wasn't helping at all.
He rolled onto his side and shifted closer to Chris, spooning up behind him and wrapping him loosely in his arms. Chris made a sleepy contented sound and seemed to melt into the contact but didn't wake. At least not until David tensed as his night vision slowly adjusted enough that he could make out a tall shadow standing in the corner of their room. He could feel his heart rate accelerate rapidly as his fight or flight response kicked in, he tensed up further, very slowly edging away from Chris and getting ready to launch himself out of the bed to attack whoever it was in their room.
Chris opened his eyes and looked around blearily before sighing.
"What do you want Leo?"
"Sorry. I'm sorry. I just… I need to talk to you guys," Leo's voice came from the dark shadow in the corner. He was quiet and his tone was subdued.
"Jesus Leo, you scared the absolute shit out of me," David sighed, running a hand down his face and instructing the lights on low as he and Chris sat up so they could talk to Leo.
Leo looked awful. His hair was sticking up in every direction and his face was pale and drawn.
"Sorry, I forget your night vision sucks so badly," he responded without humour.
"Why are you creeping into our room at-"Chris paused to glance at the time "-almost two in the morning?"
"I… look, I need to apologise about earlier. What happened between me and Emily wasn't okay and I'm going to make things right with her, but what happened with you guys wasn't… I... look. David I never meant to meld with you, I really don't know what happened and you have to believe that. I would never, especially without your consent," he said sincerely and David didn't respond, waiting for him to go on. Leo looked away and at his own feet for a long few seconds before continuing.
"I… I saw everything. It's easier if I just spit it out and tell you. I know it's a… a horrible invasion of your privacy, both of you, and I promise you that it wasn't intentional, but… we've got more important things to worry about right now. I saw something in your memories… and I- I don't know if you even know that you remember, but I need you to find it," Leo stumbled his way through his words, looking between David, Chris and the floor when he was unable to meet either of their eyes.
"What are you talking about?" Chris asked gently, the waves of obvious pain rolling off his twin leading him to take a gentle approach with his question.
Leo didn't answer, not right away. He was staring intently at David now who was determinedly holding his gaze with just as much intensity, as if trying not to lose a staring contest.
"He really doesn't know that he remembers it," Leo breathed, looking away again and running his hands through his already incredibly messy hair. David felt unnervingly like Leo had just read his mind again, even though he knew it was impossible without physical contact.
"What don't I know that I remember Leo?" David asked, trying to keep his tone level and not show his rising annoyance. He was tired and frustrated and just wanted to curl back up with Chris and go back to sleep, and he didn't particularly want to talk to Leo just yet after what had happened.
Leo looked at the floor again for a long few moments and then closed his eyes.
"Jim is alive," he responded softly and David sighed, Chris slowly easing out of the bed and approaching his brother, putting a hand gently on his shoulder.
"I know how much you want to believe that, we all do, but he really isn't and we have to make our peace with that," Chris said gently and Leo shook his head.
"No, you don't understand, he really is alive. David saw him and it's in his memories, he just doesn't know it," Leo explained, frustration creeping into his tone now.
"I'm sitting right here! I don't understand what you're talking about, I don't have any memories of Jim apart from obviously when he was alive," David protested and Leo shook his head.
"Aboard the Orion ship a man helped you when you were being attacked and that man was Jim," Leo explained quietly and David blanched.
"What are you talking about?" he hissed, his hands clenching into fists. Chris looked between his brother and his bondmate, still stood at Leo's side.
"I've… I've seen what happened, I saw Jim. He was the man who pushed that Orion off you, the guy who was… the guy. It was Jim that helped you," Leo rushed out. Even in the dark room Chris could make out how red David's face was turning; embarrassment, shame and anger flooding their bond.
"It's none of your goddamn business-"David began but stopped when he looked at Chris.
Is it true? Did you see Jim?
"No Chris I didn't fucking see Jim! Don't you think maybe I would have mentioned it if I did?!" David exploded in response to Chris' questioning through their bond.
"I don't think you know you remember. I'm not accusing you of hiding it, nobody is, I just… it's painful, I know, you don't want to think about it or remember it, but if you saw Jim then we need to find him and bring him home. Please, please, try to remember," Leo implored.
There was a long few seconds of silence before Chris moved first and instructed the lights up a bit brighter. David grumbled and squinted in the light, walking back over to the bed and fishing around for his shirt on the floor where he'd shrugged it off whilst sleeping.
"I don't remember clearly what happened. I remember… mostly just panic, and pain, and being really thirsty and feeling like I was going to probably die," David said bluntly, pulling the soft tee-shirt over his head and letting it fall into place before shrugging to the twins.
"So what do you need to do? You want to get in my head right, and see what the memory really is in its true form?" he continued and Chris looked uncomfortable.
"That would show us for sure. If I'm wrong I promise I'll never mention any of this again, I'll forget about everything… I just…please? Please prove me wrong," Leo asked, tone very close to begging now. David stepped closer to him, still holding their eye-contact for a long few seconds as if he was searching Leo for something, as if he was trying to get inside his head.
He finally looked away and turned to Chris and gave a small nod.
"Alright, sit," Chris said, patting the foot of their bed. David sat down cross-legged and Chris sat mirroring him, Leo awkwardly pacing at the foot of the bed.
"I'm sorry, I don't want to… I know it's painful," Chris said softly and David shook his head.
"Least I can do if there's a chance Jim is out there somewhere," he said resolutely, setting his jaw with a final glance at Leo as he picked up Chris' hand and guided it onto his own face. Chris repositioned his fingertips slightly and David closed his eyes.
"My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts…"
What felt like it could have been seconds or hours later David came back to his senses slumped to his side, being supported by a strong pair of hands at his shoulders.
"David? Hey, c'mon, come back, there you go," Leo encouraged as David came to, supporting his own weight and sitting back up. Chris was standing now and looking quite pale.
It took David a few more seconds for the freshly recovered memory to become clear and cold horror at the realisation swept through him. There was no mistaking the identity of the man he could now clearly remember in his minds-eye. Jim Kirk had been aboard that Orion vessel and had looked him dead in the eye.
"Chris... I- I didn't know, I didn't remember," he started, trying to get up to go to him and finding his body very weak. Leo stopped him from moving with a firm pressure on his shoulders and a kind nod.
"He knows. We both know, don't worry about that. We just need to figure out what we do now," Leo said, sounding much more like his usual self than he had before.
"I'm sorry, god, I'm sorry, I'm just shocked," Chris breathed, hurrying over to David and wrapping him tightly in his arms in one movement. David could feel his bondmate trembling and held him back just as tightly in return, ignoring the fact his face was smushed against his shoulder until Chris let him go before turning his head to give him a swift but reassuring kiss.
"How do we save Jim from the Orions?" Leo asked bluntly and David shook his head.
"That ship could be anywhere by now. He could not even be on it anymore, they could have… well, traded him."
"Will Starfleet still be keeping tabs on its whereabouts? Because they attacked a Starfleet vessel?" Chris asked and David shrugged.
"Potentially. It all depends on where they went next, and if Starfleet bothered to keep an eye on their location."
"Who at Starfleet can we ask for help with this? Realistically, and who isn't in Mitchell's pocket?" Leo asked bitterly and David chewed the inside of his cheek for a few seconds as he thought.
"My Mom, but it would get her unwanted attention from Mitchell when she's trying to keep off his radar right now. I don't know anybody else of that level that we could trust… does Spock know?" David asked and Leo made a bitter sound.
"Whether he believes me is another thing, but yes, he knows what's in that memory."
The three of them were silent for what felt like it could have been an hour but was in reality only a few minutes.
"How many does it take to crew the Enterprise now? When they finish the retro-fit?" Chris asked and Leo frowned.
"I don't know… five, sixe? That's absolute minimum and more would be better. Why? You suggesting we… steal a starship?" he asked his twin who shrugged.
"Well you're not getting involved. You're staying here where you're safe," David said firmly and Chris rolled his eyes.
"I'm talking about in a few weeks."
"You'll need recovery time too. Plus it'll be going against your every natural instinct to leave a newborn baby behind to fly halfway across the goddamn neutral zone to-"
"It's my instinct to want to save Jim!" Chris interrupted angrily.
"We all want to help him, okay? We just need to try and find out where that ship went, where he might be, and then we work out the second part of the plan? Right? So phase one; we find out where that ship went, Molly and I will be able to hack the system. Phase two, Chris you work on keeping yourself and the baby healthy until he's ready to come out of there… just get him here safely, and David you work on finding us a crew we can trust, to take Enterprise when the time comes," Leo planned aloud, starting to pace the length of the room.
"What if someone figures it out? I mean… someone has gotta know about this right? Someone probably knows Jim is really alive out there?" David asked, a deeply unsettled expression on his face.
"Probably, yeah. We just keep this between ourselves for now. I won't even involve Molly, I think I can get into the system without her… better if we keep it just between us three for now. Agreed?" Leo asked and the other two nodded.
"Good. I'll come back to you when I've looked into some stuff a bit more. I'll do some digging around," Leo was speaking quickly now and nodding in a somewhat frantic way.
"Leo?" Chris asked quietly and the twins locked eyes.
"Make things right with Emily and then get some sleep, please, you look terrible," Chris instructed gently and Leo shrugged before slipping from the room and closing the door silently behind himself, leaving David and Chris to stare at each other, dumbstruck.
"I believe you that you didn't know what you remembered," Chris assured quietly and David nodded, a blank expression on his face.
"Here," Chris handed over the glass of water he always kept by his side of the bed and David gratefully took a few mouthfuls.
"I uh… feel kind of nauseous?" David said uncertainly and Chris nodded.
"Me too."
He wrapped an arm around his bondmate as they sat side by side at the foot of the bed. They were silent for a long time, just sitting leaning against each other and not knowing what to say. Even their bond was mostly quiet, just confusion echoing back and fore between them.
"We'll get him back," David said finally, what could have been an hour later.
"Yeah, we will," Chris agreed instantly.
"We should sleep. Or you should at least," David insisted and Chris nodded, yawning widely. Still feeling a little shaky, David pried himself from the foot of the bed and forced his legs to take his weight, offering both hands out to Chris and helping him up too. They stood there for a moment, faces only inches apart and hands still clasped together.
"I promise you. We'll get him back," David whispered and Chris nodded, moving away and walking slowly around his side of the bed and crawling in, settling on his side. David ordered the lights off before doing the same, curling around Chris as tightly as he could as if that could solidify his promise to find Jim and bring him home.
*~*~*~*~*PAGE BREAK*~*~*~*~*
The next morning dragged. Chris was tired from having had his sleep disturbed by Leo's visit, and he was yawning his way through a lecture on the prime directive and yearning for some real coffee when he was distracted by his communicator chirping. Quickly, he pulled it out and silenced it, settling back down and trying to pay attention.
The device in his pocket vibrated again, another incoming call.
Emily.
He fired off a message in response.
Can't talk, in a lecture. What's up?
He tucked the device away again and tried to look like he was listening when now all he wanted to know was what Emily wanted. He assumed it would be about Leo and that he had gone to speak to her.
I can't find Leo. His communicator is offline, bond is blocked. Any ideas? I'm worried.
Chris tensed as he read the message, subtly resting his other hand against the side of his abdomen as the baby chose that moment to start kicking the hell out of him.
He sent another message, this time to his brother.
Leo where are you? Can you call Emily please, she's worried.
After sending it he added a second message immediately after.
I'm worried too. Just let someone know you're ok.
"Mr Kirk, am I interrupting more important matters?" his professor asked and he supressed the urge to groan.
"Sorry professor, I uh… please can I be excused?" he asked, feeling the eyes of most of the cadets in the hall turn to him now and willing himself not to blush under their scrutiny. He'd definitely been aware of more people staring at him than usual since he'd gone public with his pregnancy and he'd been able to ignore it so far, but he didn't want to deliberately make a scene.
"Is this an emergency that cannot wait until the end of my class?" the professor asked, he looked annoyed, and Chris felt bad for having interrupted his teaching.
"Uh… I need to uh… go see my doctor, I'm feeling kinda… odd. And this whole situation is really high risk so…" he nodded down at his own abdomen and watched as the professors eyes tracked the same path, taking in the small distension no longer concealed by Chris' cadet red jacket.
"Oh my god, is he in labour?" somebody hissed behind him.
"No, he's a guy, he isn't going to be in labour. He's probably going to buy drugs or something," another cadet hissed back. Chris felt his face grow hot as he heard the answering chuckle.
He bit down the urge to turn and snark at either of them and instead waited for the professor to consider. He felt bad about implying he was feeling unwell but he was genuinely going to go and see Bones, so his story was half true.
"You may be excused," the professor agreed finally and Chris grabbed his things, able to feel the eyes of what must have been every cadet in the room burning into him as he walked down the steps. He reached the bottom and was about to head towards the door when he was beckoned over by the other man. Fighting the urge to sigh he walked over to where Professor Miles had stepped away from the lectern and was wringing his hands together.
"Will you contact me and let me know everything is alright after you've seen your doctor please?" he asked and Chris blinked, feeling quite taken aback at the sentiment.
"Yeah... I… Yes sir, I can do that," he answered clumsily.
"Please take care," he dismissed and Chris nodded, turning and walking out as his classmates continued to whisper amongst themselves.
As soon as the door to the lecture hall had closed behind him he was dialling Leo's comm frequency, only to find it wouldn't connect.
Before he called Emily back he needed to make one more call.
"Molly, Leo's communicator is-"
"Dead? I know, I'm working on it. Emily already called me," she responded flatly.
"Have you heard anything from him?" he asked, a hint of unease creeping into his mind as he tried to press on his link with Leo and finding it blocked off, even more firmly than usual.
"Nothing at all. He didn't show up to work today either, nobody in engineering has seen him or heard from him, I've already asked around."
The feeling of unease grew rapidly and Chris wiped his sweaty free hand on the side of his pants, adjusting his grip on his communicator with the other.
"Let me know if you get anywhere. I need to call Emily back."
Emily picked up after barely two seconds and sounded tense.
"I can't find him anywhere."
Chris took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm and ignore the creeping feeling of dread that was descending on him.
"Where have you looked so far? I'll try a few places too," he offered and Emily reeled off a few locations where she and Leo would spend time together that she had already checked.
"Did you go out to Muir Woods yet?" he asked.
"No. We only went out there a couple of times and I never really felt like he liked it that much. Do you think he'd go up there?"
"Not really. What about the beach?"
"We normally go to Rodeo beach if we go… but I haven't tried there yet. I've been to Crissy Field, I went down to Eagles Point and over to the botanical gardens, tried a few coffee shops we like… but nobody has seen him and I haven't found any sign of him. He's… it's like he's gone from my mind. He's been quiet before but not like this," Emily's voice wavered and Chris swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat.
"It'll be ok, he'll turn up… he's just thinking about stuff I'm sure, he'll come home when he's got it all figured out. Do you want me to come look with you or I could take a drive up and look at Muir Woods and the beach?" he offered as he neared the car, wishing he'd been able to ride his bike as it was so much quicker.
"I'm going to check a few more places around town, do you mind heading up to Muir Woods?"
"Not at all, I'm just getting the car and I'll go right up there and look for him. Just try and stay calm, I'm sure he's fine and that he'll turn up soon, okay?"
As soon as Emily was off the call Chris felt his own anxiety overtaking him. He didn't feel certain of anything, especially based on Leo's strange behaviour the night before.
He set off across town, pushing it with the speed limits as much as he dared as he headed for the Golden Gate Bridge, intending to check Muir Woods for Leo.
As he neared the bridge the traffic got heavier and he ended up crawling in a long line, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in an anxious pattern until he cleared the snarl and was moving freely again.
Muir Woods was a stretch. They'd been there as kids with Jim, Leo hating being escorted around by someone holding his hand so he didn't trip on a tree root or faceplant directly into one of the majestic giant sequoia. It was a significant place for Jim, but not really for Leo. Chris leant heavily on their barely used link in his mind, come on Leo, talk to somebody.
Nothing came back.
There was of course no sign of Leo's car at Muir Woods. Chris hopped out and walked a way along the main trail, eyes scanning the spaces between the trees but finding no familiar figure. Chris' sense of dread only grew deeper as the silence in his mind continued. He nearly jumped clean out of his skin when his comm. started to chirp in his pocket.
Spock.
"Hey Spock, I'm at Muir Woods but he's not here."
"I am aware. I have located his car."
Spock's completely flat intonation did nothing to calm Chris' nerves.
"Where? Any sign of him? Or just the car?" Chris turned and began to walk back in the direction of his own car, picking up the pace as much as he could.
"I am at Glacier Point. There is no sign of him. The car is locked. He is nowhere to be seen."
Chris paused for a second, continuing to walk at a good pace as his mind started running.
Yosemite. Somewhere very significant to Jim, not so much to Leo aside from the link to Jim. Somewhere he had actively avoided since Jim's death, somewhere Chris had offered to go hiking or climbing or camping with him and been told a resolute no. Clearly, the link of the place to Jim held a painful emotional link to all of them and where Chris liked to exorcise these feelings by taking the bull by the horns and actively seeking out these places to feel the connection to Jim, Leo did the exact opposite.
"How did you get out there so fast?" Chris asked, changing his angle.
"I believe you would be familiar with a shortcut I may have utilised," Spock said dryly, so, he'd transported.
"Hold up, so if you have the pocket transporter, Leo doesn't?" Chris asked.
"It is likely he could duplicate the device, having successfully assembled it once before."
Chris's breaths were growing more ragged as he walked faster still, nearly running, a stitch in his right side catching him with every inhale.
"So you think… what… he's out hiking in Yosemite, or he's snuck out there so he can beam off… somewhere… without anybody knowing? Why would he go somewhere so obviously significant? It makes no sense," Chris said flatly between gasps for air. He could see the end of the trail now, not much further.
"I have several theories, none which have positive conclusions," sighed Spock and Chris scrubbed his free hand down his face.
"He's not suicidal Spock, I saw him last night, he hasn't gone up there to throw himself off a cliff," Chris said bluntly. He didn't fully believe himself, not really, not with how wildly unpredictable Leo had become.
Spock was silent for a long few seconds.
"I can see him," he said finally.
"Where?"
There was an agonisingly long silence.
Instead of answering, Spock disconnected the call. Chris froze in place, panting for breath, being kicked persistently in the ribs by his own thundering heart, and the baby joining in for the fun of it.
"Fuck it," Chris hissed under his breath, sending a flurry of abuse towards Leo through their mental link for worrying everyone so much and slumping into the drivers' seat of his car to get his breath back.
*~*~*PAGE BREAK *~*~*
Spock stood guiltily next to Leo's car as he approached. There was nowhere to conceal himself so he had no choice but to just stand there and wait. Leo's stride faltered a little when he spotted his father, but he carried on.
He looked in turmoil, his face set in an odd grimace that didn't lend itself naturally to his features and his usually sunny disposition.
"Stalking me now?" Leo asked as he drew closer.
His clothing was a mess with dust and dirt all over him, a few rips and scuffs decorated his shirt, and he had dried green blood on one hand. He had a small backpack on his back but otherwise, was carrying nothing.
"Where have you been?" Spock asked in response and Leo rolled his eyes and shrugged.
"Hiking," he gestured vaguely around him, across the valley to the majestic half dome and towering granite features.
"You have caused a great deal of worry," Spock tried for a softer tone.
Leo shrugged again.
"Do you… want to talk about it?" He offered gently, angling for a more human wording, trying to appeal to his son in his state of obvious upset.
"No Spock, not really. I didn't mean to worry anyone, I just needed some peace and some space to think," Leo softened a bit, his surliness dropping a little.
They just stared at each other for a long few moments.
"Get in, we can talk on the drive back to the city," Leo gestured as he unlocked the car.
Spock had barely fastened his seatbelt before Leo was barrelling out of the parking area at an inappropriately high speed.
"Leo-" Spock began but stopped as Leo revved the car harder, not wanting to antagonize him further.
The narrow, winding road down from Glacier point was unforgiving as Leo took it way too fast, until Spock spoke up again.
"Leo. Would you prefer if I was to drive?" he offered gently and Leo slammed the brakes on as if a deer had just run out in front of them. Taking a few heavy, shaky breaths, he turned slowly to look at Spock.
"Spock, I'm going to tell you something, and you have to promise you're not going to tell on me, okay?" he said with a forced calm in his voice. Spock held his gaze and gave a single nod in the affirmative.
"I… I think I'm going to steal the Enterprise, and I think I'm going to go out there and get Jim back," Leo said in a hollow voice that didn't quite match the determined set of his jaw.
Spock was silent for a few moments, considering, meeting the eyes so similar to his own before responding.
"How can I be of most assistance?"