Home is where the heart is.
Naruto awoke at his regular hour, early, the birds chirping, the sun barely a glimpse in the sky. His eyes blue, opening to see his regular room. Walking out to see his regular apartment. To make his regular morning ramen and coffee. For 11 years it's been the same. His day starts early, and then ends well into the night. Before he was in his small apartment at the shitty end of town he was in the orphanage.
That didn't go well for anyone involved.
Every day he would get up, train, and then go to sleep. While for the past few years he has been running missions so to make sure he would have enough money to pay the bills, for a normal day, that was the norm.
His cluttered 3 room apartment was now much more sanitary than in his younger years. He long learned how to take care of himself. His kitchen combined with his living room, which connected both his bathroom and bedroom. No more plates scattered around; his fridge no longer contained the stench of long rotten foods; his bedroom no longer had socks hanging from the ceiling fan.
First aid kits and basic medication stored in the cabinet in the bathroom.
Maybe a bit of melatonin to help him sleep but to him, sleep was well worth it.
"So then what's wrong?" Naruto kept thinking to himself, what was so wrong that made him want to vomit nearly every day waking up and going home for as long as he could remember. He was nearly 17 and the only thought that crossed his mind nowadays was why it always felt so sick to come home.
(break)
Even when he was younger, he remembered the stares, the glances and side eyes as he walked through the village. Less now of hatred and more of wariness and a general ire of 'what are you doing here' permeated the streets as he walked. The idea that he didn't belong.
When he was much younger, before his 10th birthday he would make sure to barricade his doors and windows on days that the Kyubi was remembered. And while they had stopped long ago, he only realized why he got those looks, and the need to hide, when he was older. He understood why, he sympathized with those who had lost everything.
'It didn't help him though.' Somber thoughts permeated his mind as he knew the reminder he is to the people he swore to protect.
(Break)
Every birthday would come around, his body needing to be healed, and his house needing repairs.
One thing he learned very fast, was how to do basic medical procedures and doing some minor healing techniques. A side he didn't reveal often was how he was the best medic ninjutsu user among his peers, besides Sakura and maybe Hinata. He didn't really want to break his streak of being the guy who stands tall in front of every danger. That idea was what made him, the epitome of 'I work harder then everyone else, and here are the results!' was what kept him going. Having to explain that was not a conversation he wanted, nor was truly ready for.
His house needing repairs did suck. Didn't help that he had to repair it himself, no carpenter in a 100-mile radius would come near his house. Being a handyman was just another trade he learned, and learned fast when his landlord upped the rent for every day with those damages still there.
"You caused the damages; you pay for every day the value of this property goes down!"
The only mind he could think of to describe that was 'jackass'.
Usually on those days he took a job by the docking bays, the travelling merchants paid fairly for the work. At least when they tried to scam him out of the pay, it wasn't because of the Kyubi, to them it was business. Business he could understand, even back then.
(Break)
He could remember trying to bargain with those local traders and farmers, they upped the price double for even the smallest thing. Hunting and foraging became something he was very good at. Ichiraku may have the best ramen, but if he wanted to grow muscle, he needed some meat that wasn't just a small slab of pork. Fortunately, Konoha was called the "Hidden Leaf Village" for a reason. Berries and small animals were everywhere to be hunted. It had been a good few years since he went hungry.
Those times before then, it wasn't a wonder how he was doing poorly in everything else, school or just living in general.
(Break)
Thoughts drifting to those he had known. Sakura was fine, she was there on missions, and she was there for the team when she needed. That was all that was expected.
Hinata was interesting. She was strong, that was sure, but not confident. She lacked the will to take what was needed in his eyes. She was weak not because she lacked any sort of power, but the will to take advantage of that power. 'If you can seize what you want with that sort of power, why have it?' he thought to himself.
Lee was amazing. He would be an idol to a younger Naruto. The idea that someone without chakra could do what he did, was amazing. But that's what he was. He was an idol of hard work. He barely had anything going on outside of that. Training with him was fun but there was no change of any deep meaningful conversation beyond the simple methodology of hard work trumps all, and don't give up when the going gets tough.
Neji was stuck up prior to their duel in the chunin exams. And was, to be frank, not too much better after.
Shino was Shino, no words no nothing, nothing came out of that man except bugs and pure logic.
Shikamaru and Choji weren't all that bad, they hanged out together in the academy, they still hung out together on occasion, and that was nice.
'Just not close'
He and Sasuke had an understanding.
An understanding of the sharp pain, coming home to a house that was empty. The dishes needing to be done. No one to say Hi. No one to congratulate you on accomplishments you would then exaggerate. They were likely the best friends they had. No words needed to be exchanged to know the meaning, no need to say what they were thinking. The nods and looks they exchanged were enough.
That didn't mean he understood him fully. Sasuke could have rebuilt his social life after the murder of his clan. He chose not to. He chose to look for Itachi and gain as much power as possible. He chose to do it alone out of some stubborn pride, the thought that his 6-year-old self should have been strong enough to take on the man who had slaughtered multiple A class ninja in a single night, along with the clan they belonged to being the de-facto most martial and powerful clan in the village.
He had a choice and he chose that he needed to do it all alone. He would never understand that.
But the understanding they had, was something that separated them for everyone else. No one else knew that true dark loneliness that plagued their minds.
(Break)
His missions were an escape.
His money flowed through them, he accomplished both a goal of pride and of need. His bank account was much more stocked nowadays.
The young Jonin was not averse to taking missions just for money.
When he went out he was looked at with respect. The green vest meant something beyond the walls of Konoha, and the trees of the Shodai.
His rank in the Bingo Book made him respected by his opponents that knew half a damn.
It was refreshing to be treated like he meant something. His life wasn't worthless out there. Not just a number to the administration of Konoha. Not just a blond idiot to those that knew him from the academy. Not just the Kyubi Jinchuriki.
(break)
Each step he took home was one marred with the disappointment that it was over. He had much the same record as his sensei, not a single blotch on his record, beyond from long years passed. When he returned home, it meant nothing.
The dim streetlights that made his hair look like the sun.
The dirt roads of his street.
The lights of the redlight district near his home.
He could hear the laughter of men and women having dinner, families.
Entering his apartment was when it all went mute. His sealing work, security on the doors, quieting seals so no one could hear, and blinds that made it so no one would see.
These things are only half of it.
The silence of his home was loud.
His parents are only part of the mystery.
He didn't know yet. Why they left, where they were, whether they were alive or dead. He knew of the Uzumaki clan, his lack of red hair and violet eyes crossed that assumption as soon as he read their genetic profile.
Didn't matter much to him anyways. They weren't here.
Getting home he did his nightly routine. Make some ramen. Make another food that wasn't terrible for him. Clean the dishes. Do the laundry. Take some melatonin. Lie in bed with the lights out.
Silence.
Silence is something he hated.
When he came home it was silent. When he went to bed it was silent.
Silence made him think.
Think of what was lost, before he could even comprehend how much was truly gone.
Kyubi made parents warn their kids to not come close. His parents were gone. His village hated him, or at least treated him with a reverence that made them not come close.
When he came home, he was at an empty house. No one to say 'Hi, how was your day?'. There wasn't food on the table. There wasn't a note on the counter explaining why they were out. Nothing to look forward to coming home beside the bed. And even that was beginning to make him think the same way the silence did.
His oath to his village, and what little few he called his friends were the only thing that kept him from just leaving.
Only one thought could breach his mind as he thought of everything, the idea that there wasn't anybody that cared, that he could leave tomorrow and travel the world, and no one here to tie him down was an appealing thought.
And that was better then staying in this apartment, this echo of silence that shook him awake from every sleep.
'Why am I here at all?'
/ AN
Kinda an AU of a smarter Naruto, one without the support structure of anyone. He, himself, and him.
The idea crossed my mind that Naruto, if he was smarter, would not be a very happy guy, or that at the very least he would be quieter.
And frankly it's a shock that after all the shit he went through he stuck to Konoha.
Review as you wish, I don't really care. I don't own Naruto, Kishimoto does. Feel free to expand upon this if you so wish, just include my name somewhere there.