I didn't manage to play after that. I tried but I couldn't even see the bludger, there was still too much of a mess in my head.
When it becomes glaring my presence isn't adding to the game, I excuse myself blaming something, I'm not sure what, and I lay in the grass staring at the cloudy sky, which, by degree helps my mind to grow calmer, knackered by the internal fight. The two voices are quietened, out of breath. A bleak quietness takes the place, racking my spirit, enveloping me completely and bringing me to think that there is no way out from this uneasiness. Every choice I take is wrong, it only leads to more panic, more misery, more destruction. There is really no way out.
I suddenly start to feel not at all well, a queasiness is building up very fast. I close my eyes in an endeavour to keep it down and it's at that moment that somebody jerks me up coarsely from my shirt and socks me up straight on the face. Bloody hell! The pain and the surprise take my breath away, I clutch my noise where I can feel blood tickling down, I have not time to do more than that however, that I get another one. I hear around me people shouting and Francis bellowing outraged 'What the fuck are you doing?'. I stagger up, grasping the person that is attacking me by the shirt, I use what dad taught me in one of our trainings and hooking his leg with mine I bring him to the ground. I'm about to give back what I received when I realise who is hitting me, my fist stops just two inches from two intense green eyes glowering at me. Bewilderment overpowers me. He takes profit of my surprise to shake me off and sock me in the stomach 'You jerk! You moron!' he shouts while hitting me 'You don't deserve anything! How could you?!' I try to block him without hitting him, but he is so mad I'm having difficulties, especially because the last sock was really well directed to my stomach. Fortunately, Francis and Patrick manage to grasp him by the shoulders pulling him roughly away.
'What the hell do you think you're doing?' I bark taking back my breath, all sore, trying to stop the blood running down my nose with my sleeve.
Around us half Hogwarts has gathered in an excited buzz. Francis and Patrick are still keeping him by the shoulders, their expression aghast. Albus is usually one of the mildest creatures on earth and this turn of events really surprised them. I see Rose making her way toward us and Longbottom, not far off, had spotted likewise the confusion.
'What's going on?' she asks looking from my bloody face to Albus immobilised in my friends' clutch.
'Albus attacked James for no reason! Just like that!' Patrick answers not releasing him.
She observes Albus puzzled 'Why?' she asks him, but he doesn't even see her, he is still staring darkly at me. The rage is gone though and sensing it Patrick and Francis let him go.
'You are a piece of shit and you make me sick' he spats with virulence.
He shoves his hand in his pocket and for a moment I'm sure he is taking his wand to jinx me, but he digs a brown, square box from it and throw it at me. I catch it while he adds 'It's for you and you know very well from whom. Enjoy.' He finishes up spiteful, turning his heels and marching away between the crowd that open up for him. Rose glances at me preoccupied but then follows Albus.
I observe the small box. I'm surrounded by people muttering but I'm alone, or so it feels like. Francis and Patrick are beside me asking and commenting flabbergasted, but I cannot make out what they are saying or what anybody else is saying. Longbottom had caught up and he is asking something too, saying something but it's like being in a bubble, all the sounds are coming distorted, I'm too taken by the parcel in my hand. A strong suspicion about the content makes its way and I hope to be wrong because I'm scared about what reaction it will provoke in me. My suspicion becomes fast a certainty when I peer inside, and I see a glimmer that confirm it. There is also a note, only three words but those three words combined with all the emotion accumulated in the last two hours, are suddenly too much to bear. A sickness builds up very fast and I puke there, missing Patrick's shoes only by an inch.