DO DREAMS COME TRUE?

I was woken by a movement next to me, by the shock of knowing that I was no longer alone in my bed. I was paralysed with fear, unable to even turn my head to see who my uninvited guest was.

'Hi, Katrina. It's been a long time since we shared a bed!'

I couldn't believe it - it wasn't possible - was it? That beautiful voice sent shivers through my entire body. At last I was brave enough to look, afraid now of finding an empty space beside me. But there he was, looking exactly the same as he had the last time I saw him…..so long ago now.

'Oh, Bob', I said. 'I don't believe it. Are - are you really here? ' Suddenly the reality - the truth - struck me. 'Are you a ghost?'

'You might say that ….. But a pretty solid one.'

'I want to hug you'.

'Go ahead then. I could do with a hug. I've come a long way.'

'Oh, Bob, I just can't believe it's true'. I could feel the tears burning my eyes, threatening to fall.

'I didn't think I'd be greeted by tears.' He wrapped his arms around me and once I was held tight - close against that warm, solid body - I knew that it was really Bob, and he was here with me - at last.

'Now do you believe me?'

My reply was to snuggle closer to him.

'You're still a cuddler, aren't you? he said.

'I just want to make the most of this in case it's all a dream….. It's got to be a dream, hasn't it?'

He looked at me and I was lost in the depth of those brown eyes. 'There are more things in heaven and earth, Katrina…'

'I'm beginning to realise that.'

'I've been keeping an eye on you to make sure you're OK.'

'Really? Oh, If only I'd known '.

'There are some things we're not meant to know. Now, (as he released me from his arms) I guess I timed my visit rather badly. You should be getting up and dressed.'

'Are you trying to get rid of me?'

'Uh, uh'.

'I'm not moving from this bed. I don't want to lose you again.'

'You stay here, Katrina, and you know what's going to happen'. He grinned.

I couldn't believe it. My heart was soaring. I was back in Muncie, in his bed, thirty years ago. 'Are you still able?'

' Was there ever a time when I wasn't able?'

'But .. with an old woman?'

'Do I look any different to you?'

'No'.

'Nor you to me, and I bet what's under here' he said, pulling my nightdress off 'is just as tasty.'

'Can I undress you?'

'We won't get very far if you don't!'

'I've never undressed an angel '.

He looked at me - a wicked look in his eyes. 'I don't feel very angelic right now'.

'I wonder what people would say if I told them '.

'I wouldn't if I were you. They'd probably lock you away.'

As I unbuttoned his shirt he was pulling off his jeans and boxers. As soon as he was naked he layed back down, opening his arms and pulling me to him.

'Oh, Bob' was all that I could say.

'I've waited a hell of a long time for this ' he said, lifting his head and pressing his lips hard against mine.

I held him as tightly as I could. To feel his skin so close to mine transported me back to Muncie - to that week - the most wonderful week of my life. Now his lips were brushing my cheek, slowly moving down to my neck, my shoulders, as he ran his hands gently up and down my spine. He had lost none of that magic that could send my senses into overdrive. Suddenly he took hold of my shoulders, raising me up.

'Sit on me' he whispered.

I obeyed, my knees bent, sitting astride him, at very close proximity to Clyde. Bob was watching me - the look in his eyes enough to melt even the strongest resistance - and my resistance was already nil. His hands were stroking my back, my breasts, my hips, between my thighs - anywhere he could reach - and they were performing as much magic on my body as on any canvas he had ever touched.

'Oh, Bob' I cried. 'Oh, Bob'.

He smiled, placing his hands underneath my arms and lifting me up until I was poised over Clyde. As he lowered me down my hands were guiding him into me. Oh, to feel that warmth, that hardness inside me again after all these years. It couldn't be true, I must be dreaming .. having his arms around me, feeling the strength, seeing the beauty of his body. And yet he was flesh and blood, and that flesh and blood was bringing me to a climax - the likes of which I had never known .. not even with Bob. I was transported to another place, another world - maybe even heaven. I wanted this moment to last forever, but minutes later - or was it hours - the ecstasy slowly subsided. I opened my eyes, afraid that it was all a dream, but Bob was still there, lying next to me, smiling. I nestled into his chest - his arms around me - and I knew that I was home - home in the only place I ever wanted to be - his arms.

He bent his head down, whispering in my ear 'I hope that was as good for you as it was for me.'

'Oh, Bob, it was worth waiting all these years for.'

He smiled - a gentle, loving smile.

'Please don't go.' I said. I don't want to lose you again.'

'Katrina ' he said. 'You'll never lose me. I'll always be near you. Just a heartbeat away. And, if I can visit with you again, I will. Anyway, I haven't got to leave just yet…. unless, of course, you're in a hurry to get rid of me.'

'I don't want you to ever go. If I could chain you to this bed - I would '.

'And throw away the key? What an awful fate!' He laughed.. 'No, but to be serious for a moment, I've been wanting to talk with you for quite a while '.

'What about?'

'The state this world seems to be getting itself into.'

'Oh, Bob, it's awful. I've often wondered what you would think of it '.

'It breaks my heart the way the things I loved are slowly but surely being destroyed. There is so much hatred, so many wars. Haven't they learnt anything from the past?'

'I know. I keep saying that. I'm glad I'm the age I am and not a youngster.'

'But the youngsters know no difference. This is the world they were born into. Let's hope they've got a bit more sense than their elders.' He paused. ' Do you remember that song ''Where have all the flowers gone?'' '

'Yes, I've always loved that. Peter, Paul and Mary, wasn't it?'

'Yep. What is it it says? "When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?" As far as I can see - never. They'll wait until it's too late.' He looked at me and smiled. 'Sorry about that. It's just that there are times I wish I didn't know what was going on.'

'I've often wondered if you did.'

He squeezed my arm. 'C'mon, enough serious talk. Sorry about that. I came here to cheer you up, not to depress you.'

'How do you fancy getting dressed and going for a walk around Faversham? I could show you all the sights'.

'It would have to be a silent walk'.

'Why?'

'Unless you want everybody thinking you're talking to yourself!'

'Oh, I keep forgetting. Well, come on then, have you got a better idea?'

'We could just lay here and cuddle up and talk a lot of nonsense '.

There's something I want to ask you first '.

'Go ahead … if it's not too personal '. He winked.

'Did you know how much I wanted to come and see you when you were sick, but Dana said….'

'Katrina, Dana said what I told him to say…. . to you and everyone else'. He paused. 'Don't you think I wanted to see you? I'd have given anything to have held you in my arms again ….anything. But I wanted you to remember me as I was,,,,,,,,that last time we were together in Muncie. I didn't want your last memory of me to be…..well, how I looked then. Can you understand?'

'Yes, I can understand '

'That's one reason why I wanted to come back to see you again….to explain '.

'Is that the only reason?' I looked at him. His brown eyes were twinkling.

' Now, Katrina, you know me. How could there have possibly been any other reason? And do you mind changing the subject….Clyde's listening.'

'Clyde and I are very good friends - or have you forgotten that?'

'Well, your good friend might not be in perfect working order just yet. I might be an angel, but I'm not superhuman! C'mon, cuddle up close and we can pretend we're back in Muncie all those years ago.

'Oh, if only we were….but then' - the thought suddenly struck me - 'I'd have to go through the pain of losing you all over again.'

'It wasn't that great for me either'.

'Oh no, Bob, I'm sorry. I didn't mean….'

'It's OK. I'm only teasing.' He hugged me really tight and I just melted into his arms. 'Now tell me what you've been up to'.

'Nothing much. I lead a pretty boring life. What about you?' What do angels do all day?'

'I'm sure you've got a pretty good idea how I spend my time. Haven't you noticed some pretty colourful sunsets now and then?'

'Is that you?'

'It's when I throw the dirty paint thinner away'.

'Do you still bang your brush?'

'Oscar Wilde once said 'Each man kills the thing he loves'. With me it was the other way round. The thing I loved killed me - or helped to'.

'What do you mean?'

'Well, apparently it was all those years that I beat the brush and breathed in those toxic fumes that caused the Lymphoma'.

'Oh, Bob'.

'Never mind. It was fun while it lasted. I'd always felt that I wasn't meant to grow old.'

'Why?'

'I don't know. It was just a feeling that I had. And then, when Jane died, and a couple of weeks later they told me the Lymphoma had returned, I wasn't really surprised.'

'Returned? Oh, yes, I remember you told me that you'd had it before.'

'Yep. When I was a lot younger. But I got over it then - or so I thought - but I guess I was always just in remission.' He took hold of my shoulders, holding me away from him and looking me straight in the eyes. 'Katrina, why are we spending precious time talking about depressing things? Only happy from now on…or no more goodies!'

'I just want to know all about you '.

'OK. I'll write my life story out on a cloud and send it down to you. How's that?'

'You silly devil'.

'Uh, uh' he said, pointing with his finger. 'I'm up there, not below!'

'Oh, sorry. I didn't mean ….'

'It baffles me sometimes how I made it there - and not to the other place.' he said, grinning.

'But you were a good person.'

'Yea, good at the wrong things' he said, winking. 'I let Clyde lead me astray, as you well know. There was this sexpot came over from England, intent on seducing me, and me, like the weak man I am, gave into her charms.' He kissed my forehead. 'And, boy, am I glad I did!'

'So am I, Bob, so am I' I said, snuggling into him.'Tell me … do you have any of your little animal friends up there with you?'

'Why do people always say 'up there'? Heaven is all around us. You've just got to look at nature.'

'Sorry. It's just a habit.'

'Don't apologise. I was just the same. In fact I think I said it just now. And yes, to answer your question, Peapod is with me - naturally - as well as several of the others. It wouldn't be heaven without all my little friends.'

'Oh, it sounds lovely up there…..oh, sorry….just force of habit!'

'Katrina, heaven is what we make it. Just like life.'

'But you had a good life, didn't you?'

'Good and bad, like everybody else. I guess the last 15 years were the best.'

'When you started painting?'

'No, I started painting in the Air Force. It's when I started to believe that I might just actually get somewhere with it.'

'And look at you now. Still famous.'

'Yea, look at me now! Laying in bed with a beautiful sexy woman … and what are we doing? Wasting time talking!' He pulled me to him, pressing his lips firmly over mine. A deft movement on his part soon had me pinned securely under his body. 'I want you so much' he breathed. Lifting himself up a little, he began to lightly trail Clyde, over my breasts, down the length of my body, until he reached his destination.

In reply I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him even closer to me. 'And I want you forever. Bob, please don't go.'

Once again he kissed me, his mouth demanding, burning against mine, our tongues making love to each other. Clyde's hardness was pushing, almost painfully, against my skin, but what an exquisite kind of pain! Bob's hand went down between us, taking hold of him and, teasingly, just pushing him slightly inside me. 'Oh, Bob, please' I said.

'Please what?' he said, looking at me, his eyes dark.

'Please love me - just one more time'.

'Just one more time' he repeated as he pushed Clyde deep within me. 'I love you, Katrina.,,,,, so much. ….. Don't ever forget…'.

His voice was getting fainter, as if coming from a long way away…

I suddenly awoke - alone - my nightdress, my duvet intact. It had all been a dream. The tears began to well up. But what a dream - my only consolation. I layed still for a few minutes. It was all so clear. Suddenly I felt a soft breeze that seemed to wrap itself around me .. and yet there were no windows open. I sat up, beginning to get out of bed. My eyes were drawn to my bedside table. And there, lying next to the beautiful watch Bob gave me all those years ago …. was a white feather.

Katrina Relf

January 2024