Chapter 62: Her Father's Legacy
Ruth DeWitt Bukater's stay at the Carson/Whitman/Dawson home lasted much longer than any of them had anticipated; which was fine to a point as Mr. Calvert came looking for her the following days. He brought her flowers one time and offered to show her around Central Park as well as other areas of the city that she had never been to before. It gave the rest of them some space and every evening, Ruth came home with a smile on her face and a spring in her step.
Rose watches from a distance, an uncomfortable distance. Seeing her mother so happy and almost carefree was a bit alien to her and the fact that a man was willing to court her also surprised her. But no matter how happy her mother seemed, Rose still couldn't get rid of this awful feeling in the pit of her stomach. She thought it could be mistrust or hatred, even jealousy, but none of them seemed likely. She could only determine that the feeling was betrayal on the part of her mother.
Rose's father had been a wonderful man. So, loving and full of life, much like Rose herself and he was a caring person. He always had time for his daughter when her mother didn't. He had always encouraged Rose to follow her passions and her own path, being more concerned about her life than his own. When he had the financial problems, he hid it well from his family, keeping it a secret until after his death. Why he kept it a secret was beyond Rose, maybe he was doing it to please her mother as he knew status and position were always very important to her. Perhaps even more than her own family. This added to the stress of secret keeping may have been what ultimately led to his death from heart failure. Rose had spent more time now thinking about those last few months of her father's life.
She had only been about eleven or twelve years old, enrolled in boarding school and private etiquette sessions, which were what Rose now called, a waste of time. On nights that she was home, she can remember trying to find her father to play games with her or read to her like they always did, but often she found his office door locked. This was very unusual as Rose always remembered that her father would let her in to explore or just keep him company. She'd knock often asking if he could play with her. Sometimes she would get a response like "later my child," or "not right now," but more often she only got silence. Rose remembers sitting outside his office door for hours on end, waiting and wondering when her father would come and play with her. She'd wait until her nanny came to get her ready for bed, leaving her bitterly disappointed and sometimes angry.
Being only eleven or twelve, Rose couldn't comprehend what was really going on behind the closed door, but now she wished she could have then. She could have insisted that her father takes breaks and rest, put those worries aside for a little while. Something ultimately became part of his downfall. The doctor told her mother that it had been heart failure from pure exhaustion as well as excessive amounts of alcohol which had destroyed his liver. Rose had always remembered that her father usually was a moderate drinker, whiskey or a glass of wine, but it was only clear to Rose now that the reason her father locked the door was to prevent his wife and child from seeing him coming apart and drinking himself to death.
Rose could remember the day her father died like it was yesterday. It was a bright and sunny day and she had spent most of it with her nanny out in the garden as well as in the family library with her etiquette tutor. It was almost tea time when Rose heard frantic footsteps and shouting coming from down the hall. Rose, of course, wanted to investigate, but her nanny kept Rose in her room, with the woman guarding the door. It was a long time before Rose grew tired of waiting. She tried to throw a fit, something she regretted deeply now, acting alike a spoiled brat while her father lay dying in his room. She wanted more than anything to know what happened and why everyone was so stern and quiet. Eventually, her nanny forced Rose to go to bed, leaving the child upset and confused. Rose remembers sneaking out of her room and down the hall as the nanny had been distracted at the time. She stopped when she heard the doctor telling her mother that her beloved father wouldn't make it to morning. The heart attack had been detrimental to his body and there was no way he could recover.
Rose remembers trying to go inside and hold her beloved "daddy" one last time, but Ruth pulled her away, trying to protect her daughter from the harsh reality of death. This was the beginning of Rose's hatred for her mother. Keeping her from her father, unable to say goodbye. Ruth forced Rose back into her room and she was kept there, sobbing and begging to see her father one last time.
The next thing she could remember was standing by her mother, dressed in black, with veils covering both their faces, crying as the undertakers took her father's coffin to the cemetery. Rose had placed flowers on her father's grave and remembers her mother's face very distinctly. This was when Ruth became a hardened woman because almost immediately she forced Rose into schools and more etiquette training, parties and charities to show her daughter off to an eligible suitor. It was the beginning of Rose's hatred for the world she lived in and her mother in general.
That had softened in the past few weeks with Ruth now being poor and position was the last thing on her mind, but Rose felt the way her mother was acting with Mr. Calvert was a huge betrayal to her father and herself.
Rose sits outside in the afternoon sun, trying to knit a pair of little booties for their baby, something that Emma had taught her, but she kept getting distracted, thinking about her mother and Mr. Calvert.
"Are you alright Rose Petal?" Jack asks, coming out onto the porch. "You've been awfully quiet recently."
"It's nothing," Rose says, trying to finish a stitch.
"Rose, I know you better than that, please don't lie to me, what's wrong?"
Rose sighs. "It's such a silly thing!"
"Is it about your mother and Mr. Calvert?"
Rose fights back tears and nods. "I-I know I should be happy that my mother has found someone that likes and respects her. Someone who makes her happy, but I can't help feel betrayed."
"Because of your father?" Jack asks.
"Yes, it just feels like she's betraying him and of how accepting she is of Mr. Calvert, who is a lower-class man, and meanwhile she gave me shit for falling in love with you!" she screams in frustration. She pretends to go back to knitting but becomes so frustrated that she throws it to the ground and puts her face in her hands. She then begins crying. Jack immediately pulls his pregnant fiancée into his lap and cradles her. He lets her cry as much as she needs and simply stays quiet, letting her emotions go. He rocks with her back and forth, watching as the sun begins to set behind the horizon.
"I-I'm sorry Jack," Rose says finally. "I just couldn't keep it in any longer."
"It's fine," Jack says, rubbing her back. "I can understand why this would be hard for you. You loved your father and it's hard to see your mother move on."
"Like it would've been if you hadn't survived," Rose whispers. Jack pulls her even tighter after she says that.
"But I'm sure if you just talk with your mother about how you feel, she'll understand."
"I…I don't know if I can," Rose says. "I don't want for her to think that I'm trying to ruin her chance at happiness again. Since we're just starting to tolerate each other again, I'm really afraid this might set her off and ruin the progress."
"Just tell her that you want her to be happy but at the same time, you still feel guilty. I'm sure she has mixed feelings about being with Mr. Calvert too. It's better to say something now rather than when she's walking down the aisle."
Rose swallows. "Don't joke about that!" she says. "They hardly know each other."
"We hardly knew each other when we were together," Jack says.
"But that's changed and it took some time to learn more about each other."
"And maybe time is what you need to get used to the idea of your mother and Mr. Calvert," Jack says gently.
Rose sighs and leans up to kiss Jack. "What would I ever do without you?" she asks.
"You'd be engaged to a bastard," Jack says and he kisses her cheek.
…
Ruth comes home just after the others have finished dinner and tells them all about her day with Mr. Calvert over a cup of coffee.
"He is such a wonderful man," Ruth sighs. She has a very starry look in her eyes. "I feel like a young woman again."
Jack looks over at Rose and nods. He signals for Emma and Peter to come inside, leaving Rose with her mother. Ruth continues chatting away.
"Oh and he says I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever met. He's such a gentleman. I never thought coming to New York would be so rewarding. You know he has a nice little apartment in Downtown, he's even offered to allow me to stay there when I come back to New York. I know how improper that sounds, but it's all so exciting."
"That's wonderful mother," Rose says with a forced smile.
The two sit in silence for a little while as the evening sounds of crickets and the wind rustling the trees and bushes. Rose looks at her mother and sees genuine happiness, it still makes her feel uneasy.
"Mother…" Rose says after a long pause.
"Yes, dear?"
"Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm just…" Rose stammers. She swallows, trying to hide any tears.
"What is it, Rose?"
"About Mr. Calvert…"
"Are you uncomfortable with this Rose?" Ruth asks.
Rose doesn't say anything, just nods and begins to cry.
"Oh my child," Ruth says, she reaches over to grab her daughter's hand. "I thought this might be hard for you… after your father and my insistence on you marrying someone. This is probably the last thing you wanted right now."
Rose just continues to sob. "I'm so sorry mother, I really am. I want you to be happy like I am…it's just happening really quickly and with so much else going on…"
Ruth reaches over and hugs her daughter. A sign of affection that was the rarest of occasions. The hug was a little uncomfortable as Ruth was not used to showing warmth and regard to her daughter, but she did her best. She shushes Rose and squeezes her tightly.
"I miss him too," Ruth whispers. "Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I know you never saw me show my grief, I never liked to talk about him much and all I seemed to care about were the debts, but I miss him. Even when I'm with Mr. Calvert, I still see your father in his warm smile and it's like we are young again, when he courted me. I've come to realize these past few months on what is really important. When I thought, I had lost you on the Titanic, I blamed myself for everything. I begged God to keep you safe and promised I would change if I got to see you again. I knew it was my behavior that chased you away from safety… I know now that it was love that made you go back for Mr. Dawson, but also the way I had treated you… and when you were brought on board again, I thought that everything would go back to the way things were and forgot my promise. I suppose God made me remember that promise when you disappeared again and I thought I had lost you for good. The same thing happened when I was forced to sell our mansion and possessions, but all this hardship made me realize that you are what is valuable to me. You and your father… Money should never be more important than your family and I now know that you understood this long before me and I'm thankful you are allowing me to catch up…"
Ruth puts her hand gently on her daughter's swollen belly. "I now understand what is important and that's you and your family."
Rose gives a small smile and hugs her mother again.
"How about I talk to Mr. Calvert about taking this courtship slow?" Ruth suggests. "I'll allow my daughter to be married first before I even consider the notion."
Rose's smile becomes bigger. "I'd like that. I just need some time to get used to it."
"Please understand Rose, I love your father and I always will. I never thought I would find anyone again, but now that Mr. Calvert is here, it's made me realize how precious life is and you should spend it with those you love."
Rose smiles. "That's Jack's philosophy,"
Ruth smiles as well. "Maybe Mr. Dawson is rubbing off on me,"
Rose laughs and wipes the last of her tears. "I love you mother and thank you,"
"I love you too Rose, just keep in mind, I will always love your father. I am no longer looking for money and I'm sorry I gave you and Mr. Dawson such a hard time. I now know what it's like to fall in love again and that nothing else matters except for those closest to you. I'm simply looking for a companion and a respectable man, someone who can treat me like your father did and more."
"It's all you ever really need," Rose says. "All you need is love,"
"Indeed," Ruth smiles. "That and a man to tell you that you are beautiful."
The two DeWitt Bukater women laugh before heading inside.
Unbeknownst to them, a man is watching them from across the street, taking notes before climbing back into his master's car and driving away.