Hello everyone, this Side Quest is more of a short that I've wanted to put in the main story but just never could find a time or place for. With that, please enjoy the chapter.
Please note that this story is a series of shorts based and linked to the Borderlands Fanfic Rebel Anarchy. It advised that you read the noted chapter before reading this chapter for full context.
The events of this chapter take place after chapter 9 of Rebel Anarchy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Borderlands or any of its characters, Borderlands is owned by Gearbox Software and 2K Games, the only ownership I claim is of my own OC's. This is a story just for your fun and enjoyment. Please enjoy.
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-Stories text formats-
"Talking"
'Thinking'
"Echo/Radio"
'Krieg's inner voice'
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Rebel Anarchy: Side Quests
Chapter 2: Bounties
It had been three days since Gaige and the Vault Hunters had arrived in Sanctuary and three days of doing jobs for Hammerlock with Kai. The first day had been trying to help Hammerlock to rename the Bullymongs, then the next he asked the group to gather some samples of a rare plant that grew near a massive Skag nest where several of the Vault Hunters got to meet for the first time. Today they had just finished trying to hunt down Savage Lee… It was a mess. They spent five hours just looking for the elusive Psycho until they found him; they managed to chase him into a ravine, only for it to turn into a trap with four dozen Bullymongs ambushing them from both sides. In the end, the gang had to run away while Lee managed to escape.
"Well, that sucked." Maya stated as the gang dragged themselves through town after a visit to Zed's.
"Well I don't know about you chicos, but I'm going to Moxxi's to wash down this memory with as much booze as possible." Salvador said tiredly.
"Mind if I join you, forced memory repression by alcohol poisoning sounds great right now." Axton said.
"What are you gonna do Kai?" Gaige asked her friend.
"Get a shower, a hot meal, then sleep for a whole Pandoran night." He replied.
"Isn't a Pandoran night 45 hours long?"
"Yuuuup." He answered popping the P at the end.
"Hey Kai!" The gang all look to what looked like a newsstand to Gaige called This Just In. There, a young man with brown messy short hair behind the counter was waving Kai over.
"Peter, good to see you up and about man. How are you feeling?"
"My stomach is still a little queasy but better than last week."
"Well not to say I told you so, but Riese did say that Skag jerky would probably give you a case of hyper diarrhea. Anyways, what up?"
Not much, got a few new weapon mags for you… Plus Riese's monthly subscription." The man said as he pulled out a magazine called Gun-Ho with a very scantily clad woman with a Dahl sniper on the cover. "Sorry I couldn't come to the funeral." Peter said as he set the magazine on the counter.
"You were sick as a dog man, it's fine. As for that magazine, keep it and any more that come in, I have no interest in it."
"I'll take it." Salvador said only for Maya to smack him in the back of the head.
Kai chuckled and turned back to Peter. "Anything else?"
Well, the latest Hyperion Truth Broadcast aired earlier and mentions you and the new Vault Hunters here."
"The what?" Axton asked curiously.
"Hyperion Truth Broadcast by Hunter Hellquist, it's this broadcast show that Hyperion plays over the open ECHO that promotes Hyperion's good name and spews all kinds of propaganda that tries to smear the Raiders and whoever Jack feels like crapping on that week." Peter says as he pulls out an ECHO and hits play.
"This is Hunter Hellquist, of Hyperion Truth Broadcasting, with a message to the Vault Hunters of Sanctuary: thank you. Your continued resistance against Hyperion has assured your own destruction. As Hyperion marches toward a brighter tomorrow, you remain willingly in the past - in the dark. Your own stubbornness will lead to your deaths, and to a better future. For all of us. In other news reports of the Raider Riess the Mother Fucker's demiss has been confirmed. Handsome Jack reports a team of Hyperion Commandos cornered him and killed him before he could carry out a vicious attack on a retirement home. Pandora thanks those valiant soldiers for ridding Pandora of this menace."
Peter puts the ECHO away before handing Kai his magazines. "Honestly I can't wait till someone goes and cancels his show. It ain't cool how Hunter would smear a dead man's good name but then he also goes the extra mile and gives the credit to Hyperion and claims unwarranted criminal intent. It's an insult to news broadcasters everywhere, hell even those tabloid assholes who spy on actors and supermodels have better integrity than Hellquist."
"One of these days will get the guy man, for now, though he just one more name on my shit list." Kai said as he rolled the magazines up and pocket them. "We'll catch you later Peter. I got a date with a hot shower and a bed." Kai said as he and the others turned to leave.
"Yeah, later… OH, WAIT!" Peter yelled causing everyone to turn back. "I almost forgot, the new bounty posters came in while I was out, you've got an update, and all of you new Vault Hunters got bounties on your heads!" He said as he placed a delivery box on the counter.
Kai was immediately back in front of the counter. "Seriously!? I haven't been updated in two months!" Kai said excitedly.
"Why are you so excited about a bounty increase?" Gaige asked Kai as Peter started opening the package. "Isn't a bounty increase a bad thing?"
"Around here, your bounties reward is sort of like street cred, the bigger the bounty the more respect you get." Kai said.
"But doesn't that also means more people will be gunning for you." Maya interjected.
"Eh, you take the good with the bad." Kai shrugged as Peter pulled the first poster out.
"Alright, the first bounty is Axton, who's wanted for War Crimes, the bounty amount is... 5 Billion dead or alive."
"Billion? Huh, I figured maybe a few million but I can work with that. That huge!"
"Prepare to be disappointed then." Peter said with a grin. "Next up, Zer0. Wanted for political assassin on eleven planets. And your head is worth 32 Billion dead."
"WHAT!?" Axton shouted as a ( ; P ) appeared on Zer0's face.
"Weep the loser does / smile the victory goddess has / bow to my skill." Zer0 stated with an undeniable undertone of smugness that riled up Axton even more.
"Well then, moving on. Salvador you are wanted for… Wow, that's an impressive list. Manslaughter, theft, arson, destruction of property, trespassing, public indecency, profanity, can- . . . Cannibalism?" Everyone turns to look at the short man.
Sal looks around at everyone and sighs. "You comment once on the taste of a bandit who's guts fly into your mouth as you kill them with a chainsaw, and immediately everyone thinks your a fucking cannibal!" Sal lamented. "Plus that bandit tasted like three-week-old skag marinated in puke."
"Riiiight. You're wanted by Hyperion for 99 billion dollars and 99 cents. Dead or Alive."
"HA! My bounty is bigger than yours! What do you have to say to that, chump!" Sal said tauntingly as a WTF appeared on Zer0's face.
"My notoriety is lacking / Acknowledged my skill is not / More shit needs killing." Zer0 stated as an angry face emoticon appeared on his face.
"Next up is… Riess…" Peter said, trailing off at the end. Kai's mood darkened slightly along with everyone else as they all thought about the Raider.
"What was his final rap sheet and reward estimate at?" Kai asked.
"Wanted by Hyperion for trespassing, theft, war crimes, destruction of property, vandalism, and aiding and abetting escaped prisoners. Dead or alive for 100 billion dollars." Peter said with a grin as he held up a poster that showed Riess in his armor as he was firing away with an SMG at an unseen foe. A smile erupted on Kai's face as he took the poster and looked it over.
"Now that's is a wicked wanted poster you want to be remembered by!" Kai said. "Mind if I keep it, and any copies, I want to frame one for myself and Moxxi. She'll love this!"
"Of course man, we also have a tie for that same amount. Krieg, you're wanted for being the property of Hyperion. Alive for 100 Billion"
"I bow to no butcher, the butcher kneels before my bloody pine of misery!"
"DAMN STRAIGHT MURDER BUDDY!" Kai yells as they both hi-five.
"Enchanting as a dumpster volcano... What wondrous bloody deeds mare your window?" Krieg asked the Rebel in a curious manner.
"Right, my previous bounty was worth about 55 Billion. So tell me Peter, what has the Handsome Jackass valued my head at?"
"Well Kai, your poster gained a few new accolades and has been changed from dead or alive to just dead."
"Really? Ha, I wonder what I did to tick him off."
"It says here your wanted dead for trespassing, theft, the assassination of high-rank Hyperion employees, the destruction of Hyperion property, vandalism, being an asshole, hacking, illegal use of unauthorized tech, and. . . the desecration of Handsome Jack's personal cappuccino machine?" Peter read slowly with a raised eyebrow as he and the others looked at the Rebel. ". . . How?"
"Huh, it must have been that old program this hacker back home had given me and several others. All we have to do is upload it into a Hyperion network or send it through an ECHO connection to whoever we choose, so long as it was a direct call. I've sent it to Jack himself a few weeks ago when he was taunting me." Kai said with a grin. "It was designed to be less of a destruction program and more of an annoyance or trolling program."
"That still doesn't explain the cappuccino machine?" Maya said.
"I don't know, maybe the Handsome asshole has it linked to his Hyperion workstation for some reason." Kai shrugged. "Anyways what's my bounty?" He asked excitedly.
"You're worth 300 billion dead." Peter said as Kai gave a fist pump.
"Fuck yeah!" Kai said. "That gotta be worth what Gaige, 5000 badass points?"
"The fuck it is!" Gaige said in mock anger.
"Language!" Axton said to the redhead.
"You're not my Dad Ax. And that bounty is only like, 200 points." Gaige said.
"200! That ridiculous!" Kai yelled as the teens both began arguing.
"Ugh, does anyone know what they're talking about?" Axton asked.
"I don't know, sound childish to me, as does this whole thing." Maya said.
"Well then miss Siren, I guess you don't care about the fact that your bounty is worth 720 billion dollars for being a Siren." Peter said with a grin as the others looked gobsmacked.
"HA! Fuck all of you losers! Siren badass for LIFE!" Maya cheered.
"Bullshit! You only got that because of what you are. Krieg at least got his because he's an escaped science project!" Axton yelled.
"You're just jealous mister worth only 5 billion." Maya countered.
"Axton is correct Maya / this notoriety was not earned / this was merely given." Zer0 said.
"Jeal~ous." Maya sounded out in a taunting tone, angering the older Vault Hunters. They soon all began to argue among themselves, as the two teens now watched. Gaige let out a sigh which Kai noticed. "What wrong?"
"Just, bummed that you all got such cool wanted posters. I mean, 61 billion is still a lot more than Axton and even Zer0, but I'm wanted for an accident. I feel both undeserving and over-rated."
"Aw relax, spend enough time with us and I'm sure you'll get a better bounty and rap sheet." Kai said with a cocky grin.
"I honestly don't know how to feel about that." Gaige said.
"Well if that the case, this will throw you for a loop." Peter said as he pulled the last poster out. "Your poster list you as wanted by Eden-5 PD dead or alive for the illegal creation of unauthorized tech, the murder of a minor, fleeing arrest, and excessive adorability. Bounty reward is 820 Billion dollars!" Peter said as he held up a Poster that showed Gaige middle fingering the camera.
The group stared at Peter until everyone slowly turned to face the shocked look Gaige had on her face. "DAMN SENORITA! THAT IS AWESOME!" Salvador yelled as he gave the girl a slap on the back. Gaige didn't react to it, as she continued to stare at the poster. "Red?" Sal asked, taking a step back as everyone looked at her. The young woman remained unresponsive for several seconds.
"E-eight… Hundred… and tw-twenty billion…" Gaige stuttered before her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell over without warning. Kai being the closest caught her before she could hit the ground.
"Did she just faint?" Axton asked.
"I believe she just did." Maya answered with a smirk as Salvador began to laugh.
"This calls for a fiesta! First rounds on me!" Sal yells before he turned and marched towards Moxxi's as the others followed leaving Kai with the unconscious redhead still in his arms as Peter watched.
"Is she okay?" Peter asked.
"Yeah, it's just a case of shock, she'll be fine after a good night's sleep."
"Honestly, to think that kid is a Vault Hunter." Peter said as Kai picked Gaige up bridal style.
"Yeah, she got potential, but still a long way to go."
"HA, you're telling me." The man chuckled. "Well I'm closing up, I'll see you later." Peter said before he closed the newsstand shutter leaving Kai alone with the unconscious Mechromancer in his arms.
Kai stood there with her in his arms for a moment before he just shrugged and walked away. As he walked towards the Raiders HQ he looked down at his friend and smiled. "I will admit one thing, you are definitely excessively adorable."
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Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this little short, As I said before, I always wanted to put this idea into the main but I could never find a good place to put it without killing the flow or dragging out a chapter too far. As for future chapters, well I'm kind of just going down the list of quests as they would become available in the game, so the hope is to eventually hit most of the major ones, and for those were it a kill so many enemies or collect random things mission, I'll try and shorten them into funny overviews. Only a very few select side quests will make it into the main story, like Face MacShooty, that mission could be done in about 3 or 4 paragraphs.
With that, please remember to follow to keep up with the story, and leave a review. Till next time Vault Hunters! Kilo8 out!
~ Last Update - 6/26/2020