AUTHOR'S NOTES: If only it were ever as simple as getting some reassuring words to make everything better, right? Korra's emotional state was only barely touched on in the last chapter. This one shows it off in all its glory, and lemme just say that it's not pretty. Korra's Red Lotus mindset coupled with her stress is setting up some dangerous precedents for her down the road. On a different note though, Korra's fire is now blue. Thanks Nakkoa.
Happy Reading!
BOOK ONE: POWER
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: THE WHITE-EYED THREAT
It had been about 3 in the morning when Korra had woken up, and the sun was rising by the time she had left the Hall of Avatars. The only reason she'd ever 'justify' waking up this obscenely early was because she slept for nearly an entire day after the whole ordeal with Nakkoa. She still wasn't fully sure what had happened, as she had not been there when Zaheer and the others had been captured, nor had she been conscious when Kwan took her to the Western Air Temple to begin with. The only things she really remembered were that her body had gone into a desperate panick mode sometime after Nakkoa had attacked her, and that she had somehow killed her in retaliation. Where her remains were, or where the exact sight of the carnage had taken place, however, was beyond her scope of knowledge.
Tonraq and Senna were relieved to see her up and about though, and when Naga finally woke up and caught whiff of her beloved master, she knocked Korra right over and licked her face in a way that might have infuriated anyone else—but not Korra.
"Shit that smarts…" she rubbed the back of her head as she recovered; Naga had knocked her down so solidly that her head had collided rather gloriously against the stone floor of the temple. It was nothing she couldn't just shrug off, but it stung for the moment. "Hey girl… I'm glad you're okay…" Being underneath her animal companion gave her easy access to rub Naga's belly, which was responded do with several enthusiastic licks to Korra's face.
Korra also realized that she had a new 2nd favourite place in the world. There was something particularly peaceful about this mostly uninhabited temple complex perched out on its foreboding cliffside. She didn't exactly want to live here considering how far away from all the action it was, but perhaps it would serve as a proper sanctuary for those times when she wanted to make more proper spiritual connections. She felt more connected to her Avatar self at the Western Air Temple than anywhere else she had ever been, and it showed.
Of course, after Naga had finished saying her hellos, Tonraq and Senna both wanted to speak to her about everything that transpired. She was also relieved and delighted to see they had brought her things, and wasted no time in raiding her candy pouch after so many hours without it. She was a little more apprehensive when her father began questioning her—less out of distrusting him, and more out of having to admit some of the things she did. The biggest issue at first was her forehead tattoo.
"It's a focus point," Korra explained, pushing her bangs aside to more properly reveal it, "it follows the same chi path as an airbender's arrow tattoos, and centers on the Light Chakra."
The lessons of Zaheer teaching focus and insight flowed through Korra's mind as she realized it was the primer for this ability. Blocked by illusion, it was hardly a wonder why focus was so critical for this ability.
"Not everything they taught me was bad," Korra continued, "in fact, most of it was actually good—much better than anything the White Lotus taught me."
While her words were not meant to be spiteful, they came across as such. The White Lotus compound only ever brought back unpleasant memories of being caged and confined, and unbeknownst to Korra, the Red Lotus had preyed upon this personal preference to the point where they had moulded Korra into a somewhat wild entity that hated confinement—and thus refused to be confined. Weaponizing the Avatar had had several side effects like this.
"Korra," Tonraq sighed, "I'm sorry for that, and for this," he looked her in the eyes. "We understand that they apparently taught you many good things during your sojourn with them… but the Red Lotus is dangerous. We don't want to see you getting hurt like this again."
"How was I supposed to know that Nakkoa was going to go berserk and try to murder me?" Korra threw her arms up, wincing slightly as she moved her right arm due to the still-sensitive state of her wound, "I didn't even know they were the Red Lotus until you revealed it to me! That's who you and Tenzin tried keeping away from me the last 14 years?"
"It was," Tonraq replied, "and in the forms of Nakkoa and Kwan, they were also the ones who fooled us all when they took you from us."
"I went voluntarily, if I recall," Korra scratched the back of her head, "the only thing I regret was not checking up on Nakkoa's sanity a bit more."
"Korra," Tonraq put his hands on her shoulders, "did anyone ever teach you the risks and dangers that come with harnessing so much power? Or did they just teach you how to shoot things with your forehead and make them go 'boom'?"
"Of course they did!" Korra shook her head, pointing to her forehead, "I'm pretty sure P'Li drilled it into my head that if I wasn't careful with this thing, I could very well blow my damn head off!"
"And what are you going to do with that ability?" Tonraq's expression hardened, "Do you think you can just blow up anything that gets between you and what you want?"
"Well yeah, that's the general idea of it," Korra shrugged, "I mean, you're the one that kind of inspired me for that approach, long before I left the South Pole."
Tonraq put his hand to his forehead and sighed. "I talked about using force," he reasoned, "and I've got your mother to thank for teaching me more rational approaches. There's also a pretty large difference between water-smacking things and detonating them. Foremost—I'm not about to get my head blown apart if my water goes awry."
"It's about self-control," Korra argued, "if I was truly as crazy with it as you think I am, I'd be headless by now. My point is that sure I might not always be the calmest individual in the world, but I'm not stupid! What's your point?"
"My point," Tonraq kept his hands on her shoulders, noticing that Korra was growing much tenser, "is that it is an ability designed for nothing more than destruction—and in case you've forgotten, you've got a pretty solid track record of destruction expertise…" To Korra's slight surprise, Tonraq's expression softened, which was joined a moment later with a concerned but caring look from Senna, who had been quietly observing the conversation beside her. She had been ready to jump into the argument, had Korra become too aggressive, but so far, the tension had not reached such dangerous highs.
"So…" Korra's lip stuck out in a contemplative pout, "what are you saying?"
"All I'm saying, sweetheart," Tonraq's expression grew warmer, "is to be careful. I'm not fully sure you understand how dangerous some of your abilities are… or just how powerful you are, both as the Avatar, but also as an individual."
"So… I'm not even 16." Korra shrugged and pouted again, "I'll get it figured out sooner or later. I am not, however, under any circumstances, going back to the prison compound at the South Pole. So help me I will raze the place to the ground if you try to send me back there!" Her pout gave way for a much firmer expression, with a very Red Lotus-style anger behind her eyes.
"Korra," this time it was Senna that spoke, "this is both what we mean and what we worry about. It's not that we don't trust you… it's that you have a lot of power, and are at a point in your life when your mind and body are maturing at different rates." There was a notable tone of concern in her voice, and both she and Tonraq could sense that something was very wrong with Korra that she wasn't opening up about.
"Well what am I supposed to do about it?" Korra's arms visibly tensed up as her eyes narrowed again, "do I just get my chi blocked until I'm 21? It's not my fault I'm strong; I'm just using the same powers the Avatar Spirit gave me. Is that truly such a crime?"
"Korra…" Senna frowned, putting her hand under Korra's chin, "you've changed… both in good ways and bad. We're not trying to become your enemies… just tell us what happened."
"What do you mean what happened?" Korra snapped, "A psychopathic maniac firebender that I thought was my friend tortured me and then tried to kill me—and I killed her first! It was only a day and a half ago, so stop getting on my case about it! I'm tired, alright?"
Tonraq and Senna exchanged frowns before Senna took a deep breath and nodded.
"Rest as long as you need, Korra." she whispered, "But please don't feel threatened. Whatever Nakkoa did, she is not me, nor is she your father. We did not betray you, nor would we ever backstab you like that. No loving parent wants to hurt or betray their child."
"I'm just confused;" Korra leaned forward and propped her forehead in her palms, "agitated, hurt... I need some time to cool off; figure out what I'm doing and what's wrong with me."
To her surprise, Senna and Tonraq gave Korra that clearance, leaving Korra alone for the moment. Thus, she raided both her bag and her candy pouch almost immediately. As she did, she also pulled out the small framed photo of herself and Asami, and sighed. She wasn't photogenic, but there was a certain level of innocence to her smile that Korra realized was gone now. She shuddered; there was no way she could have known that less than 24 hours after that picture was taken that her life would get turned upside-down. After a small but vulgar display of power from a nearby pagoda, Korra decided to take the rest of her agitation out by jotting down the remainder of her thoughts.
Day 550: I'm really glad I wrote about yesterday before The Incident, because frankly, it was one of the worst days of my life. I feel… different now, and not in a good way. I can't figure out what happened to me!? My training with the Red Lotus is over for good though. One of them is dead, and the other five are either in prison or on the run or something. I think my parents want to take me back to the South Pole again, but I am NOT going back. I'll kill everyone there if I need to, but they can't keep me boxed in! I hate that I feel like this, but it's all I can think about. What's wrong with me? WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!?
Particularly alarming was the previous page of Korra's journal, which was merely the phrases 'WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME' and 'WHAT HAPPENED TO ME' over and over in different styles.
Tonraq and Senna had distanced themselves from Korra so they could speak in private. Fortunately, Fukui volunteered to keep watch in case Korra approached, because she seemed aware of the Avatar's sensitive situation as well.
"Of course she's traumatized!" Senna reasoned, "wouldn't you be? She literally had some maniac try to kill her and she's only 15! Do you know how hard that must be on a child her age? I've told you enough about Desert Storm, and if that shook me, imagine how badly being physically and psychologically tortured must have shaken her!"
"That's all the more reason she needs to go back," Tonraq sighed, pacing the room, "I'm not proud of the idea, and I guarantee she's going to despise it with every fiber of her being, but she needs people who can teach her to properly harness her power as well as control her emotions."
"And do you not see the risk associated with that?" Senna raised her finger, "Korra's not one to make idle threats, and she definitely has the power to level the entire tribe if she wanted to, even without that combustion bending. She's threatened it already—and I honestly think that she's dead serious about keeping her word."
"And so what do we do?" Tonraq opened his arms, restraining from raising his voice just yet, "do we let her just roam the world as she sees fit, setting all of her problems on fire as she goes? Did you notice anything different about her firebending since she left?"
"It's blue, just like Nakkoa's," Senna nodded, "Every time, too. It's definitely one of Nakkoa's tricks, but I think she's got enough passion to fuel it and then some."
"Add that to the already growing list of reasons why she's dangerous," Tonraq shook his head, "I don't like it any more than she will, and it's not an easy decision to make—but if she goes ballistic, she could slaughter hundreds. I don't want to lock my daughter up any more than you do, love; but it's not safe for her to roam the way she wants to. It's not safe for the people around her, and it's especially not safe for her. Even without the Red Lotus leaders beguiling her away or trying to kill her, she's very unstable. What happened to her yesterday only exacerbated that problem and you know it."
"Love," Senna stood up, staring Tonraq directly in the eyes, "I'm saying there are better ways to handle it than to throw her back in a compound that she has made no mystery she passionately hates. She's physically and emotionally hurt and she's afraid. She needs our love and care more than ever right now, even if she tries to push us away. Before we try and take her home, and especially before we even consider taking her back to the compound, we need to try and reason with her. She needs to be reminded that we're not trying to weaponize her the way the Red Lotus did; that we value her as a living, breathing young woman whose identity is not solely tied to being the Avatar—that she's our daughter—our little girl!"
It was truer than either of them were aware, and even after several hours of being by herself, Korra didn't even go looking for them. She wandered off to one of the farther pagodas, sitting on the edge and dangling her feet over the horrific drop, staring down into the abyssal canyon. All her life she had been so thrilled to be the Avatar… and the Red Lotus had used, abused and weaponized that passion of hers. Now she felt hollow; gutted; broken. With the Red Lotus betrayers in prison, and her parents clearly conspiring to take her home (or so Korra assumed), who else in the world could she trust? Only one name came to her mind.
Tonraq and Senna found Korra later that evening, her bag at her side and snuggled into Naga's warm fur. Naga was one of the few entities in this world that Korra still felt she could trust; and she was a great listener, and a loyal companion. The idea of her being separated from Korra was non-negotiable. Korra made it very clear to anyone who had tried to separate them that she would not hesitate to brutalize whoever made the attempt. While she was almost completely motionless, it turned out that she was not actually asleep, and so she spoke.
"Sorry for lashing out at you guys earlier," Korra sighed, "it's just… something's wrong with me, and it's eating away at me that I can't for the love of me figure out what it is!"
"It's undoubtedly a result of what happened yesterday," Senna frowned, "and Korra, that's exactly why we're so worried for you. We're not trying to be overprotective; we're not trying to control your life or lock you in a cage; we just want you to be able to carry yourself with the same kind of confidence you had when you said goodbye to us 18 months ago."
"It's not going to happen in the Southern Water Tribe though; I can tell you that." Korra warned. "Seriously; I cannot begin to emphasize how much I do NOT want to go back there!"
"And why is that?" Tonraq kept his tone calm and curious.
"It's so confining," Korra sighed, "I didn't even get to talk to anyone besides my teachers, and they were a bunch of stuffy old codgers that treated my skill like Baby's First Avatar Academy. I'm way beyond that, and what right do they have to lock anyone, much less the Avatar, away like that? It's unreasonable!"
"Korra," Senna frowned, "you know as well as us that you will never have a normal life. You can't tell us that's what you're asking for."
"I'm not," Korra opened her arms, "but the idea of locking the Avatar in a prison compound is not only oppressive for me, but it's a mockery of everything the Avatar is, and everything she's supposed to do! We're supposed to travel the world to master the elements, not get primary school lessons from old fogies who are a shadow of what their organization once was…"
"That sounds a lot like Red Lotus talk," Tonraq frowned.
"And all the White Lotus IS, is talk anymore." Korra snapped back, "Say what you will about the Red Lotus, but at least they were people of action."
"Idle talk is a much more preferable alternative to terrorism, Korra." Tonraq's tone grew more forceful, "and while they might have filled your head with delusions of grandeur about carousing across the world and striking down any who oppose you, reality is a lot harsher than that."
"Reality?!" Korra threw her arms into the air, wincing again at her injured arm ,"You're trying to preach to me about REALITY while attempting to coax me back into a cage? There's nothing even close to reality about that compound. It didn't prepare me for the real world even remotely! I got more real-life experience in the three days I spent in Republic City than I did in the 14 years I spent at the White Lotus Prison Compound! I'll govern myself, thank you."
"Korra, that…" Tonraq sighed, "You are setting yourself an extremely dangerous precedent that is both detrimental to you and frightening to anyone around you. Whether you like it or not, you tend to be governed both by your Avatar abilities, and more so by your emotions. We don't like having to admit that you're dangerous, Korra—but because of how volatile you are, coupled with how extremely powerful you also are, there's no nice way to put it—you're a very dangerous young woman, Korra."
"Welcome to being the Avatar," Korra rolled her eyes, "who would have thought that the master of all four elements would be dangerous, huh?"
"And so do you see attempts at trying to make you more civil and thus less dangerous as evil schemes to try and suppress you, dear?" Senna frowned. "Because we are trying to help you, not twist the knife."
"Like I said," Korra sprung up, pivoting on her heel as her eyes flashed white, "If you take me there, I will personally see to it that that compound is razed to the ground. I hope they have good evacuation plans, because I am NOT going to spend another minute in that prison ever again. If you still can't understand that, then stay out of my way!"
Fuming, Korra stomped off, leaving both Tonraq and Senna stunned and speechless. It may have only taken her a few moments to leave the Avatar State, but in her delicate and vulnerable emotional situation, she was just as dangerous the way she was.