AUTHOR'S NOTES: This chapter is mostly just the reeling and aftermath of the whole Equalist fight, which in turn leads to more angsty Korrasami fluff because let's face it—Hiroshi's reveal hits Korra just as hard as it hit Asami in this story, due to the different events that happened to Korra here. Kwan is also going to become a much more frequent character from here on out, so there's that to consider too. As always, thoughts and feedback are always welcome.
Happy Reading!
BOOK TWO: CHANGE
CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE: THE MELTDOWN
There was an awkward silence as even the Equalists behind Hiroshi halted their loading of the metalbenders into the trucks for a moment, and it seemed that Hiroshi and Asami were going to have some kind of staredown. While Hiroshi briefly looked angry, his expression softened as he saw the devastated look on Asami's face.
"After everything, dad…" She cried, "and now you're attacking police officers, one of my closest friends, the girl I love, the Chief of Police, and now them?" She gestured to Mako and Bolin, "How can you cling to that bitterness all these years after everything we've done; after everything me and Korra have done!?"
"The... relationship... Between the two of you is an insult to our family's name," Hiroshi scowled.
"What, cuz they're both girls?" Bolin blurted out stupidly.
"Of course not!" Hiroshi scoffed at the notion, "At this point I'd hardly care if Asami declared her love for a polar bear-dog. But the Avatar… of all the wicked, corrupt benders and tyrants in the world who abuse their power and perpetually torment nonbenders into submission, my daughter has to fall for the worst culprit in the world. Even without considering how temperamental and destructive that vile woman is, a man as patient as me can only put up with it for so long before it becomes less of a morality issue and more a personal one."
"And so what happens if Bolin surrenders Korra?" Asami gestured, "If Amon was able to strip her of her abilities and she remained otherwise the same?"
"No one is the same once they've been purified…" Hiroshi growled, "And Avatar Korra could use the humiliation in the name of becoming more equal to those that she oppresses."
"She trusted you, dad!" Asami stepped forward, "and with how slow she is to trust anyone, that's something of a miracle! And if you cared about me at all, you would know that I love her, her issues notwithstanding! I love her and I love you. Why must they be exclusive?"
"Sweetie…" Hiroshi sighed, his features softening, and none of them realizing that the Equalists were using this time to haul off everyone else apart from Lin (who was too clearly in Mako and Bolin's line of sight) and the two benders on the brothers' backs. "I honestly wanted to keep you out of this mess as long as I could. Despite my… distaste… for your girlfriend, I still love you and I can respect your decisions, however difficult for me they would be. Asami, I would throw myself on the line to protect you, and would give my life for you if necessary. Now that you know the truth, I hope you can find it in you to forgive an old man. These… benders though… they took your mother; the love of my life. That Kwan woman that the Avatar traipses with… do you realize who she is?"
Asami remained silent as if waiting for Hiroshi to continue.
"Her name is Ikiza—Shenzi's younger sister. One of your girlfriend's closest friends is the sister and accomplice of your mother's murderer, Asami. These benders ruined the world, but with Amon and the Equalists, we can fix it; repair the damages, make amends, and build a perfect world together. We can help more people like us, everywhere!"
Hiroshi held out a pair of the heavy electroshock gloves, offering them to his daughter. Asami slowly walked towards him, a downtrodden expression on her face as she tried to process everything that she had just heard, as well as everything she was seeing and the myriad of wild emotions fighting for dominance at the back of her mind.
She took the gloves from her father and slowly put them on.
"I love you dad…" she whispered, much to Mako and Bolin's horror. "And I'm sorry…"
With a sudden change of expression, Asami gritted her teeth and seized Hiroshi by the shoulders, shocking him with both her hands until he fell unconscious.
"We need to get out of here now!" She ordered as she spun around, snatching Lin and meeting back up with the brothers.
"Aye, aye!" Bolin gave something of a salute before ripping a hole open in the ground and jumping through it. Mako was on his tail, and Asami followed behind as Bolin sealed the entry behind them. Fortunately, they were able to navigate the tunnel well enough, and by the time they were out of there, both Tenzin and Lin had regained consciousness. Lin was still too dazed to stand up properly, but Mako shouldered her after Tenzin was back on her feet. By the time they reached the police airship, Korra was conscious again too, relieving Bolin of his burden as they boarded and fled. There was a long period of silence as they slowly hovered away, and it was only broken when the Police Chief spoke up.
"My metalbenders are on the way to Amon, and it's all my fault," Lin sighed as they slowly rose into the sky. "Tarrlok's right, I've failed as police chief. First thing tomorrow morning I'm handing in my resignation."
"You can't just give up like that!" Tenzin exclaimed.
"I'm not giving up," Lin scoffed, "I'm gonna find my officers and take Amon down. But I'm gonna do it my way—outside the law."
"Hey," Mako put a hand on Korra's shoulder as they stared toward the windows, where Asami was off by herself, staring blankly at the glow of her family estate as it grew smaller and smaller, "sorry for not believing you about all of this."
"No, I can see where you're coming from," Korra lowered her head, "you're right about how paranoid I am, and it came out of the blue for everyone. For me to just suddenly change my tune and think Hiroshi went rogue is crazy! I hoped so bad that it was all just a lie; a glorious misunderstanding—that my stupid broken mind was just playing tricks on me, but for me to learn that I was right… fuck, it hurts. It hurts a lot—and not just for me."
"That's putting it lightly," Bolin shook his head, "I'm sorry you had to go through all that, Korra. I mean, living with the guy for years and then realizing he hated your guts the whole time? Ouch! You know how good I am at saying the wrong thing or blabbing something stupid, but I hope you know that I've still got your back and stuff."
"I'm definitely not going to sleep well for a long time," Korra lamented, "but I'm just gonna have to deal with it. There's someone hurting a lot more than me right now…" She glanced at Asami, who seemed vaguely aware that they were talking behind her, but she didn't look up. She clung to one of the ship's support poles, her back to everyone.
"And she's gonna need you, Korra," Mako admitted, "we might be her friends, but I don't think there's anyone else she confides in as much as you."
"Even if you were apparently friends with the girl who killed her mom." Bolin blurted out. Korra's eyes widened and she screamed internally.
"Shit! How did…" Korra stammered, looking suddenly frenzied. She had been unconscious during Hiroshi's reveal, after all.
"Hiroshi knew," Bolin shrugged, "I don't know how. Still, I think Mako's right. After everything she's been through, she's gonna need you, Korra—and we're gonna need a place to live."
"You're all welcome to stay at Air Temple Island as long as you need," Tenzin offered, "It's actually where we had hoped to bring Korra when she had finished her training, but it seemed the Satos reached her first."
"Really?" Bolin's remark seemed to be both a reaction to Tenzin's offer and his comment about the Avatar, "well gee, thanks!"
Korra had distanced herself from the others to approach Asami. Asami saw her coming and moved away, marching towards a more secluded part of the ship. Korra followed her, and since Asami hadn't turned around to smack Korra in the face, Korra figured that maybe her heavily-distressed friend just wanted somewhere private to talk.
Sure enough, she rounded the corner into a small room and then sat down, staring intently at Korra as she also sat down nearby.
"When were you going to tell me?" She mumbled, "you knew Shenzi and Ikiza."
"I knew her, sure," Korra sighed, "And I killed her. I thought she was like Ikiza—well, Kwan. that's who I always knew her as. Kwan's a lot like me though, Asami. She's done a bunch of stupid things in her past, and now she's trying to turn her life around. I can't tell you what she thinks about her past, but I can arrange a meeting if you wanted."
"Maybe," Asami sighed, "Everything happened at once, and now my life's upside-down. Forgive me if I'm cross and irate."
"How could you not be?" Korra reasoned, "Asami, do you realize how awful I feel right now? It's like our roles are reversed. My life was the one that flipped completely upside-down and I took it out all on you. The least I could do is offer you the same courtesy after everything you've grown up to believe was a lie too. I mean, I felt horrible when I claimed Hiroshi was an Equalist, and then when I learned I was right… well, I screamed. I panicked; I had a meltdown during that fight that I was only able to conceal by channeling it into my bending—and my fire was blue. I didn't want anyone to know, and I didn't want you to see me like that."
"Hasn't your fire been blue for years though?" Asami reminded her.
"Well sure, but… hotter than usual—something. A lot of my anger towards Hiroshi was actually more because of what I knew it was going to do to you."
"I think I can understand a taste of what you must have felt, Korra." Asami reached over, taking one of Korra's hands, "and my dad didn't try to attack me. If he did, I…" she trailed off before looking at Korra again. "It's just—I'm heartbroken. I'm furious. I'm devastated. I'm livid. I want to scream and I want to cry! I thought my dad had gotten over this, what with how hard he taught me to accept that it happened and to get up and move on. To realize that he simply harboured this grudge and let it turn into full-blown hatred against you and other benders merely on principle… I'm infuriated by it, and yet there's another part of me that just wants to put my arms around him and comfort him—try and talk sense into him."
"That's how I felt about Nakkoa—Shenzi, if you will." Korra admitted, "I mean, I felt terrible admitting that I might have had a somewhat positive relationship with the woman who literally killed your mom, but it's just… it's complicated. I thought she had changed."
"My dad apparently hates you." Asami sighed, "Despite all of my reassurances that he liked you just fine—all those lies I told you when you expressed your fears and concerns to me. Who am I to complain to you now, Korra?"
"No! It's not like that!" Korra took Asami's other hand, "besides, at least you admitted it. I kept my relation to Shenzi a secret for how long?"
"And yet you yourself said that you killed her." Asami reminded her, "If I was as vengeful as my father, I'd feel vindicated that my girlfriend slew my mother's killer. Having never actually gotten to know her though, I'm not sure what she was like, and perhaps it's better for me not to know."
"Wait," Korra couldn't help but crack a weak smile, "After all of this... You still love me?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Asami looked Korra straight in the eyes, "your fears of my dad, however wild they seemed, turned out to be true. You've been working so hard to control yourself and to keep it together, both for me and for Tenzin and the rest of your friends. And honestly—after today, I think I need you the same way you used to say you needed me. My whole life is gone now, Korra. I have no idea what I'm going to do and that scares me. You and I might show fear in different ways, but let me tell you right now, Korra, that I am terrified."
"Well, I'm sure Tenzin wouldn't mind if you came to live on Air Temple Island," Korra offered, "I mean, I'm pretty sure that's where I'll be hanging out at least until we can get this whole Equalist crisis figured out."
"Tenzin is a very good man," Asami smiled, her eyes still watering. "And you're a good woman, Korra—despite your mistakes."
"So are you," Korra insisted, "you've been so strong for me all these years—and for you to have a moment of vulnerability like this is not unreasonable, so please don't beat yourself up over it. You were my role model for so long, Asami. Don't fall into the same pits I did, and definitely don't wallow in them like I did. If you need anything, let me know and I'll be happy to help you."
"Are you going to be okay though?" Asami popped a difficult question, "I mean, you clearly didn't take this news well either, and I don't want you stressing yourself out on my account either."
"Honestly…" Korra sighed, "I'm likely on the cusp of a meltdown too—but you know what? I'm the goddamn Avatar and I've gotta deal with it. This is your moment, Asami. I owe you that much. I'll manage myself." She stood up, putting her hand under Asami's chin.
"So come on…" She tried her best imitation of Asami's voice, "how about a smile, please?"
Asami gave a very weak and on-the-verge-of-tears smile as she slowly rose to her feet, before she threw her arms around Korra. Added to the list of things both young women had in common was that they had a very similar style of crying: a soft, reserved weeping; the sound of a woman who tried to publicly remain strong and kept her weaknesses subtle. Korra respected that.
"I love you too, Asami," She whispered, responding to a much earlier remark. "And thank you for everything you've ever done for me."
Asami did not respond, but wept softly into Korra's shoulder. One of her hands wandered up and seized Korra's left sidelock, tugging it in that affectionate way she normally did. The tugging was mellow, although her actual grip on Korra's hair was remarkably tight. She wouldn't be moving her head for a while; that was for sure.
Korra's hands idly wandered up and down the back of Asami's figure from her hips to her neck, mainly as a comforting gesture more than anything. For a while there was silence, Korra's own heart aching as she heard Asami cry for the first time since she had met the lovely young lady. She had seen Asami at some low points, but Asami proved much more talented at covering up her emotions than Korra, who covered her emotions about as often as she wore clothing that covered her shoulders (which was to say "on extremely rare occasions", at best). To see Asami crying like this though, tugged at her heartstrings more than perhaps anything else in the history of their relationship, and due to Korra's own aforementioned lack of emotional control, she soon found herself sharing tears with Asami as the young couple held each other and wept. All in all, it was a rather emotional moment, with Korra's own emotions gushing out more out of sympathy and compassion for her lover, and Asami's emotions spilling out from her being simply overwhelmed by so many different cruel revelations that evening that had flipped her life around backwards and turned it upside-down.
And yet, perhaps as a vestige of the naively innocent little girl Korra had been when Asami had first run her down on her moped, she saw a silver lining in this otherwise rather heartrending scenario. For the barrage of negative emotions that she knew both she and Asami would likely suffer from over the next few weeks, Korra found what she saw as a small light in the otherwise dark abyss: Asami still loved her, and she still loved Asami.