AUTHOR'S NOTES: Tarrlok redemption arc? Tarrlok Redemption arc. The man was right in City Hall when he claimed he and Korra had a lot in common, and with Korra's arc of being misused and weaponized by the Red Lotus for their own personal gain, she and Tarrlok also have that in common. Also, we're now only two chapters from the endgame.
Happy Reading!
BOOK TWO: CHANGE
CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO: MERCY UNWANTED
Once again, Korra found herself floored by this revelation. At once she had a legion of different emotions attack her, all wanting to chip in with an interjection or two; Korra had so much to say and didn't know where to start, and so she visibly stammered for a moment before looking back up at the disgraced councilman.
"Is that why you all but worked with him this whole time?" Korra's fists balled and her nostrils flared, "Is that why you arrested harmless nonbenders and labelled them as Equalists? Were you just trying to rally up Amon's whole point this entire time?"
"No," Tarrlok replied, "that was more because of you. Do not make this about me and you though, Korra. I am not here to trigger any more of your abhorrent memories, nor am I here to try and belittle you or anything you've done—let alone your emotional state. My life is full of regrets, and the atrocities I committed against you are a mere fraction of the large list."
"I don't think you quite understand how gripping your words were and are," tears had formed in Korra's eyes as she knelt in front of the bars, her electric blue eyes piercing Tarrlok's, "your choice of words a moment ago before I blacked out—that was deliberate, wasn't it?"
"No, actually," Tarrlok admitted, "and it was only after seeing you react that I realized what I had done. Do not take what I am about to say as an attempt to disparage what horrors you faced, whether at my hands or at the hands of others, Avatar Korra, but if anyone in this world deserves to know the truth of this morbid situation, it's you."
"What do you mean?" The confusion was starting to etch lines onto Korra's face.
"You deserve to know how all of this started," Tarrlok explained, "Yakone, myself, my brother Noatak—the man you now know as Amon. I would not share this story with anyone in the world other than you, Avatar Korra. Sit down—you deserve to know the truth."
Korra sat down, ready to listen but with a wariness to her posture and expression, as if expecting Tarrlok to somehow get his bending back and bloodbend her through the bars. Tarrlok began his tale, detailing his childhood with Noatak and the good times that had surrounded those years. It seemed that Yakone had humbled himself and repented of his criminal past in a way that reminded Korra of Kwan—he started a new life, left the past behind, and even had a loving little family. Then he learned his sons were waterbenders, and his old persona came back tenfold.
"At first we were excited by our new abilities," Tarrlok mentioned, "but it brought out the worst in our father. He stopped seeing us as his sons, and saw us only as tools of revenge; pawns for his plan to extract vengeance against the Avatar who had stripped him of his abilities so long ago. The good days were behind us—never to return."
Tarrlok went on to explain how Yakone had taught them bloodbending: first on animals during a full moon, and then on nights where the moon wasn't full. Soon their targets moved from animals to people—namely, each other. Noatak took these abilities to heart, while Tarrlok refused them. He mentioned that something just snapped one day, and Noatak turned on Yakone, bloodbending him before running away, never to return.
"My father and I searched for days," Tarrlok muttered, "but we never found a sign of Noatak. We thought he perished in the storm, and for all intents and purposes, he did. Noatak died that day, only to be reborn as Amon an indeterminate amount of time later, as you surely know. My mother was never the same after the loss of my brother, and my father stopped training me. With Noatak gone, his hopes of revenge withered and he passed away, a few years later."
Korra was not outright crying, but there was a fine stream of tears from both her cheeks, culminating at her jaw before falling to the ground.
"That…" she muttered through gritted teeth, "is one of the saddest stories I have ever heard."
"Avatar Korra," Tarrlok sighed, "I do not expect your forgiveness, nor am I even asking for it—but I am truly sorry for everything I did to you. I thought I was better than my father, but it seems his own lust for power was still in me as well. It does not by any means justify any of the horrific acts I committed against you, and I am just as wicked a monster as my brother for preying on your mental vulnerabilities the way I did. In a way, I feel I hearkened back to his desire for revenge. Avatar Aang broke my father, and perhaps in a twisted sort of way, I thought I could avenge him by breaking you."
"But how did you know?" Korra clutched the bars as she stared desperately at Tarrlok, "how did you know EVERYTHING to say to tear me down? It's like you read my mind; like you knew every chink in my armour and knew just how to twist the knife and make it hurt!"
"Because that is how my father and even my brother treated me," Tarrlok explained, "I am no stranger to trauma, Korra. I do not claim to have it worse than you, or have it better than you; because trauma is one of those things that affects everyone in different ways. However, your lack of subtlety revealed to me your weaknesses, and after you continuously thwarted my plans to get into the good graces of this city, I felt a need for revenge. I took note of you—your strengths, your weaknesses; things you held important, and everything in between. And then, I used it as a weapon against you in the vilest of ways. That is why I don't ask for your forgiveness, Avatar. I may regret my actions and I will forever be sorry for them, but what I did is unforgivable. When I saw you fly into a rage a moment ago, I understood that you were not only completely justified in what you almost did; but that if you had slain me then and there, that it would not only have been justified, but would have been justice. Do not change your opinions of me now just because you've seen me at my worst and lowest point."
"Tarrlok…" Korra shuddered for a moment at using his name, "one of my best friends is the sister of a psychopath that gave me these scars and tried to kill me." Korra paused, pulling up her shirt to reveal the subtle but still-present knife wound from Nakkoa's blade, before also pulling up her right armband and pulling down the left side of her shirt collar to show the stringy red burn scars that still inhabited these areas. "That woman was the one who started it all—and her sister, as good as she might have been, allowed it to happen."
"That's not the same," Tarrlok shook his head.
"Even if it wasn't," Korra interrupted him, "She attacked my mother, and that's just as bad to me. And yet I forgave her for it too, even if my mom might not have come to terms yet."
"Still and all," Tarrlok replied, "Ikiza did not attack you personally. Amon did, and so did I—and even now I'm not sure who did one worse. Korra, you have no right to want to spare me after everything I've done to you. I know your strength. These bars will not protect me; since I'm sure you don't want to incinerate this temple."
"I don't want to kill you," Korra lowered her head, "especially not in cold blood like this."
"Would you rather I was armed?" Tarrlok threatened, "Would you rather I have my bending back and use it on you to provoke you first?"
"No! That…" Korra stammered, shuddering at the thought, "that's not…"
"You've killed lesser people for lesser deeds, Tarrlok argued, "And now you're too afraid to put an end to this sad story that has cried out for an ending for years now?"
"I'm not proud of everything I've done, either," Korra argued, swinging her head back up at Tarrlok in a way that made the tears carve an interesting upward pattern on her face for a brief moment, "I'm not saying what you did wasn't awful, but you're acting like I'm sinless here when I'm really not. It's not fair to either of us to hold yourself to a double standard."
"Then why, Avatar Korra," Tarrlok looked her right in the eyes as he gripped the bars of his cell, "do you consistently hold yourself to that selfsame double standard? You have this uncanny habit of putting everyone in the world before yourself, and it's disgusting. You gallivant across the city acting like a hero and then despair when you struggle, not even realizing the heroism you leave in your wake. My own envy got the best of me when I saw it happen, and my pride was far too wounded to admit that your approach was effective and got results. Maybe it was just to spite me; maybe not. It doesn't matter. It got results, and people loved you, Korra. To see you gain favour so effortlessly after all of the time, money, and energy I put into trying to win Republic City over… I hated you because you did what I wanted to do, and you did it better than me. You know what that caused me to do to you in turn, and no one deserves such abuse—especially not at the tender age of 17."
"Surely I'm not the only one you've bloodbent before though," Korra frowned.
"I took out your friends shortly after I abducted you," Tarrlok replied as if he had been waiting to mention this, "Sato, the brothers, Councilman Tenzin, Chief BeiFong… all of them. However, I did not throw any of them into metal boxes with the hopes of letting them rot in there. When I realized how effective it was in breaking you down, I reveled in that vindication. I wanted nothing more than to make you suffer as much as I could, and that is one of the most vile pleasures a person can take, short of violating your body—which I might as well have done too."
Korra did not reply, but her melancholic expression betrayed conflicted emotions.
"So why do you hesitate?" He grimaced, "why do you suddenly not wish to strike me down? Did a few flowery words floor the mighty Avatar once again?"
"Sometimes, learning the truth about someone can change your entire perspective on them," Korra explained, "you tell ME—why are you so angry with my change of heart when here you are trying to apologize for everything you did to me? Why don't you just go back to hating me and we can keep this status quo exactly where it was without worrying about double standards, huh?"
Tarrlok paused for a moment, crossing his arms.
"You are disgustingly clever, child." He mused, "It seems I was right about you at City Hall—you and I are a lot alike. However, there's still a major difference between us which determined my failure and your success."
"This should be interesting," Korra's tears had stopped flowing, but she was still in a precarious emotional state at the moment.
"The difference between you and me, Korra," Tarrlok explained, "is that you are likable. You know enough about the Interregnum Avatars by now to know that being likable is not always in the Avatar's repertoire. You're likable because of who you are; not what you are. Meanwhile, money, charisma, and political power can only get you so far."
"What do you want from me!?" Korra was confused, and her tears started to reappear as she vented this confused frustration. To her surprise, Tarrlok's expression changed.
"...perhaps I don't know," he admitted, "In my own selfish anger and hatred, I hoped for the sweet release of death by your hand. I wanted to make you angry one last time in the hopes that you would just blow up and murder me—but it seems that once again, I underestimated you, even when you flared your Avatar State at me again. And yet, perhaps the most ironic thing about the story I shared with you, is that your idea once again proves the effective one."
"What idea are you talking about?" Korra tilted her head, "I mean, my friends and I can only bust up so many Triad and Equalist rallies before something's bound to go wrong."
"Not that one," Tarrlok shook his head, "the one you had about exposing Amon as the fraud that he is. He is my brother and a waterbender, as I told you not 10 minutes ago. Expose him at a rally—in front of thousands of supporters, and you will destroy him and his movement."
"So how did you know he was your brother?" Korra was watching Tarrlok attentively, wiping a few tears from the left side of her face.
"I recognized his touch when he removed my bending," Tarrlok answered, "I don't know how he does it, but then again, I've never encountered a bender as strong as Noatak—except for you."
"Your bloodbending subdued me in the Avatar State!" Korra exclaimed, "If I can't even break out from that, what hope do I have against the man who overpowered you?"
"You can," Tarrlok shook his head, "I only retained my grip because you faltered, and I took advantage of it. I am not proud of what I did, but desperation does wild things to us all."
"That's still no excuse," Korra shook her head. "What if I falter again? What if he triggers the same kinds of flashbacks that floored me in City Hall?"
"Then I think you have what it takes to fight back," Tarrlok declared, "The difference between a victim and a survivor is what they do after they get shaken. A victim lets it control their life, ruin them at every turn. A survivor gets up and fights back; tries to stand up and make the best of it as they move forward. You're not a victim, Korra. You are a survivor."
"And yet you knew just how to kick me down at every turn," Korra sighed with a frown, "you knew how to kick me off-balance to prevent me from getting back up."
"I know," Tarrlok admitted, "And were it not for me exploiting that weakness you would have obliterated me. My power is nothing compared to yours, Avatar Korra. My brother, while frightening and formidable, is no match for you either. You went toe-to-toe with him without bending and survived. Do not dismiss your strength and power just because my brother and I used dirty tricks against you. Do what you must to stop him—even if it means taking his life. It's time someone put an end to this sad story."
"I can't just leave you here..." Korra studied the lock and analyzed the bars.
"Don't even think about it, Korra." Tarrlok shook his head, baring his teeth. "Don't do it."
"Why?" Korra looked him dead in the eye, the Avatar's stern, passionate visage betraying the features of an adolescent heavily laced with the weight of psychological trauma and mature experience well beyond her years. "Why shouldn't I show compassion to the repentant?"
"Do you really think I'm repentant just because I've spilled some deathbed confessions?" Tarrlok grunted, "Avatar, listen to yourself. Moments ago you wanted to kill me. Now you not only want to spare me but also want to free me? I wish to say many things right now, particularly about your mental state, but perhaps it's best for the Air Temple for me to stay my tongue."
"I've made my decision," Korra frowned, "And you're coming with me."
"I will fight you every step of the way if you try it," Tarrlok growled, "You have no business sparing me, much less freeing me from my well-earned fate!"
"I'm pretty sure I have the right to do whatever I damn well please," Korra replied defiantly as she tore the bars open with nothing but her own brute strength (and maybe a bit of metalbending), "And I'm giving you a second chance. Now come on."
"After everything I've done to you!?" Tarrlok scowled, "How, and why…?"
"It… just feels right." Korra paused for a moment as if contemplating the question. "My instincts tell me that helping you is the right thing to do—and helping people is what I want to do anyways. I can't abide suffering when I see it, Tarrlok. I've suffered enough that I don't wish it upon anyone. You don't deserve to be subjected to whatever torture Amon has in store for you."
"I'm not going with you." Tarrlok asserted. Korra sighed.
"Then you leave me no choice." She pinned Tarrlok against the wall. Had he been in a more optimal state, he may have been able to resist her, but Korra's arm strength was not something to be underestimated, as many people learned the hard way. "I'd call it poetic irony, but you're not likely going to be conscious for this."
Before Tarrlok could reply or even react, Korra had seized his head and the last thing he saw was the Avatar's face as her forehead slammed into his own, knocking him straight out.
Hoisting the unconscious councilman over her shoulder, Korra made a quiet and daring escape, also proving that her agility was not just a thing when she was unburdened. Instead of swimming across the bay back to Republic City, Korra bent the water around her as she walked across the sea floor as if it were dry land. Of course, considering how karma usually worked, it was when she was a little more than halfway there that Tarrlok regained consciousness. It took a moment for him to register what was going on.
"I told you this was going to be poetic," Korra quipped as she set him down. "If you want to run though, feel free. I'm not sure how deep the water is above us though, so I hope you can swim."
"You really are the worst," Tarrlok scowled, "of all people to show mercy and compassion to… why would you choose me? You yourself said that I ruined you! I've seen your scars, and one of them manifested in that very room in front of my eyes!"
"I'm not forgiving what you did," Korra turned back to look at him for a moment before plodding on, "but I accept your apology… and I accept what happened. I don't like it, and it's a scar that's not going to go away… but I can accept what happened. Do you see these scars?" She pointed to the gash across her right cheek, deliberately using her scarred hand to do so. "These are how I remember that I survived both your attacks and the electroshock from Amon's goons." She continued, "This is how I've come to terms with what happened. It doesn't matter what could have been—what happened is that I survived. Whatever horrors your brother and father committed against you; whatever I might have done to ruin your life and career… you survived. You're here, and I'm not leaving you behind."
"Very well." Tarrlok frowned. "I am at your mercy, Avatar Korra."
For a time there was silence, and the two waterbenders trudged onward.