AUTHOR'S NOTES: Trauma is one of those really nasty things that can mess with you when you least expect it, or even when you think you've put it behind chapter is a very character-focused chapter, but as mentioned in the tags, notes, and other information, that's one of the recurring themes of this said, these upcoming Water Tribe sagas might be interesting with Tarrlok and his wife on the scene. Time will tell.
Happy Reading!
BOOK THREE: WATER
CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED TWO: TENSION AND TRAUMA
Tenzin was admittedly a little shocked when he saw both Tarrlok and Kwan accompanying them to the Southern Water Tribe. He was put at ease after Korra clarified that he had invited them, although for most of the voyage, they stuck to themselves. Mako and Bolin tagged along as well, allowing Korra to catch up with them and their recent life events. The first night of the voyage, they did exactly that, leaning against Naga's resting form as they stared out over the dark ocean.
"So you're still trying to keep the Probending scene going?" Korra quipped after Bolin recounted the crippling losses the Fire Ferrets had suffered after Mako and Hasook had pursued different lines of work after the last season.
"Well yeah," Bolin scratched the back of his head, "Honestly though, even with the greenies I feel like we took worse beatings from you and the Prison Breakers than any of these upstarts that we're getting pitted against these days. I guess it's just more humiliating to get beaten by guys I know we could have whooped with our old team."
"The Prison Breakers will return I'm sure," Korra assured him, "Kwan's just been busy growing her business, and I'm not sure what Kuro gets up to…" this was a lie to an extent, because Korra was pretty sure that he had joined Lightning Bolt Zolt's Triad group, which Zolt had renamed "The Interregnum Triads", much to Korra's ire. He claimed it was due to a battle against Viper, who had taken over the Triple Threat Triads in Zolt's absence prior to his bending getting restored by Korra.
"Still and all," she continued, "I wish you luck. So what about you, Mako? How's police life?"
"Chief BeiFong talks a lot about you," Mako quipped, "She says she's had to arrest you a few times in the last couple months."
"Hey, that fire was totally not my fault!" Korra argued.
"It was blue," Mako commented, trying to keep a neutral expression, "And if I recall you raided the Red Monsoons, not the Agni Kais. Y'know… waterbenders, not firebenders."
"Hey, sometimes you have to go a little overboard," Korra shrugged, "I won't go into detail about what they were doing, but it was absolutely not okay, and Lin agreed."
"Still, maybe try for a little less collateral?" Mako suggested, "I'd hate to arrest you Korra, but I'm just trying to follow the letter of the law."
"There's plenty of room for that," Korra nonchalantly shrugged an arm, "but apart from not having the fortune of arresting the Avatar, what else is new?"
"A lot of the time though we're just busting up Triads." Mako shrugged, "Last time we busted a heist by flipping the vehicle. You would have been proud."
"At least tell me you had a catchy one-liner at the ready." Korra put her hands together and grinned ear to ear.
"I said, "Looks like you had some car trouble. It's a good thing the police are here"." Mako nodded proudly, "I had others too though."
"Nice; did you write that beforehand?" Korra laughed.
"Yeah, I had a few others," Mako smirked, pulling out a slip of paper, "Like, let's see, uh, "Looks like you guys should put more 'try' in Triad", or "When you get to jail, tell 'em Mako sent ya"."
"Oooh, I like that one," Korra grinned again. "Maybe if you put anyone into the northwest corner of the jail you can tell 'em the Avatar once occupied that cell."
"I'm impressed that you're proud of that," Mako raised an eyebrow, "still, maybe I'll use that next time. BeiFong says if I keep this up I could make detective soon."
"That sounds like fun," Korra nodded, "I've just been working as security detail for Future Industries lately after the Probending Season ended. Asami's been really tense lately."
"Speaking of, how is she doing?" Bolin spoke up. "She's been awfully quiet lately."
"I…" Korra paused, and then slumped her head and arms onto her knees, "It's bad—really bad. Future Industries is teetering on the edge of a knife, and so that's kept her almost constantly stressed, on top of all the other trauma from her dad and the Equalists. Add that to her concerns about me and my trauma and she's in a really bad place. It's stressing me out, and when she catches me stressed out, she stresses herself out too and then…" she trailed off, groaning. "it's so damn aggravating. You guys have seen me, right? Sure I have my moments but overall I'm doing fine, and I just need Asami to see that so she stops stressing about me. She's falling apart and it's killing me to watch!"
Bolin stared with wide eyes, and even Mako struggled to hide his surprise. Even Naga snorted at this, as if in disapproval.
"She had us fooled," Mako admitted. "She always looks so professional…"
"That's what I hate too," Korra groaned, "in a way it's a necessary evil because she's gotta keep up a professional image to the public, but she carries it over to her private life as well, and she's doing the same thing I used to do. The only difference is that she's actually good at controlling her emotions. It just… ugh. I need to get up and walk around. Sorry; nothing against you two, and thanks for listening, it's just…" she tugged her sidelocks, standing up and putting her jacket on, "I need a bit."
Mako and Bolin exchanged glances, and even Naga gave a low, slightly disapproving growl.
"This is gonna be an interesting voyage." Bolin muttered.
"It's going to be rough," Mako frowned, "I'm upset we didn't see it before. Asami and Korra are so concerned about each other that they're losing themselves in the process."
"So basically they're both pulling each other into a huge downward spiral." Bolin's eyes widened again. "Do we warn Asami or do we warn Korra?"
"I think they'll have to sort it out themselves," Mako shook his head, "Korra hates being called out and I think Asami will stubbornly deny it. I don't think there's anything we can do besides get in the way."
"I was worried you'd say that," Bolin sighed, "I really hope things turn around for them both…"
"As do I, Bo…" Mako sighed in turn, "As do I…"
Mako and Bolin eventually retired for the night as well, and Naga went somewhere to rest as well. Korra had gone to bed earlier, and was sleeping rather peacefully, as indicated by her heavy snoring. The consequence of said snoring meant she was a good distance away from most of the others, but Korra didn't mind it. Night time was when she was most prone to getting lost in her own thoughts, some of which were hazardous or even destructive. Her fractured mind liked to play tricks on her at times like this, especially when she was stressed. And while she had indeed managed to keep a rather firm control over her emotions, this control was not absolute, and her stress levels were much higher than she was letting on.
She found herself bound to a chair in a small, dimly lit room, clad in a formal black suit that she didn't recognize. She seemed calm, but her eyes widened as she saw a masked figure approach her—Amon.
"This isn't real!" she shouted, "I put an end to you myself!"
"That is correct," Amon replied, "Noatak was slain by Avatar Korra in single combat."
"Wh-what!?" Korra gawked at the confidence with which this masked maniac spoke, "Wait… who ARE you?!"
"You cannot kill an idea, Avatar Korra…" Amon reached his hand towards Korra, who suddenly woke from the dream, screaming as she sat up bolt upright in a cold sweat. A blue flame appeared on her hand to illuminate the room, which was empty for the moment, until three intruders appeared in front of her. Her fear was compounded by the faces of three people that normally would bring her confidence: Kwan, Asami, and even Tarrlok.
"Like brother, like brother," Tarrlok smirked, brandishing a bloody swathe of water, and spreading his hands out as if preparing to bloodbend Korra.
"Like sister, like sister," Kwan cracked her knuckles before brandishing a large rock that she melted into lava that was uncannily blue.
"Like father, like daughter," Asami's eyes glinted maliciously the crackle of electricity filled the room as activated a pair of electroshock gloves.
Korra sprang out of bed, dashing right through her own illusions in a fierce burst of blue flame that miraculously didn't set anything on fire. As she rushed through her illusions, all three of them dissipated into thin air as Korra smashed through the door of her compartment and raced above deck. To her horror, the first three people to come investigate the noise were the same three people Korra's mind was telling her to be terrified of: Tarrlok, Kwan, and Asami.
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Korra brandished her blue flames again, her eyes glowing in an Avatar State panic.
"Tell me, child," Tarrlok clearly looked the least thrilled about this development. Kwan looked like she was going to be sick, and Asami crossed her arms angrily. "What tricks is your mind playing on you that you suddenly see us as your enemies? I can understand if you still have a fear of me, but for you to be afraid of my wife after the friendship you've held with her is ludicrous, and the idea that your lover is your enemy all of a sudden is even more preposterous, and frankly, downright insulting in my opinion. Speak of your concerns."
"It…" Korra lowered her hands as reality swirled around her and she realized where she was again, "It was a delusion… somehow my mind projected the three of you as taking after your relatives… the ones I've either helped incarcerate…" she glanced at Asami, before glancing at Kwan and then Tarrlok, "...or kill."
Immediately Asami and Kwan's expressions changed, with the former looking upset and the latter lowering her head sadly. Tarrlok's face remained stoic, however.
"Even if I had even the slightest desire to try and turn against you," Tarrlok reasoned, "I would have to get through all of your friends, as well as the woman you love, my own wife, and Councilman Tenzin and his family, just to name a few."
"Korra," Kwan smacked her lips, "I love you to death, kid… but this sounds like your trauma's fuckin' with your head. It's not real, and rather than being your enemies, we're here to help you… well, maybe after some rest. I at least feel like I'm about to hurl. Maybe one of the healers down south can tell me if this is pregnancy or not…" she trailed off.
"I'll handle this," Asami stepped forward, "I apologize for waking you Ikiza; Tarrlok."
"It wasn't your fault, Sato," Kwan shrugged, "but I'd rather not get between you two. C'mon, tall, warm, and handsome. Momma needs to be snuggled."
Tarrlok snorted in amusement, but he found the pet names and affection from the little earthbender—his spouse—to be rather endearing. He followed her and left Asami and Korra alone on the deck, where the former was clearly about to verbally unload on the latter.
"You said you were doing better, Korra!" Asami snapped the moment Tarrlok and Kwan were out of earshot, "you promised there wouldn't be any more secrets or lies."
"I am doing better!" Korra waved her arms, "sometimes everything just lines up in the worst possible ways and then BAM! And that's what happened tonight. I'm not proud of it, and I obviously don't actually think you're going to become like your dad."
"That cuts really, REALLY deep, Korra." Asami put her hands on Korra's shoulders, staring her down, "especially after everything he's subjected me to…"
"Did you visit him again before we left?" Korra raised an eyebrow, "because I told you not to because I knew this was going to happen."
"Don't make this about me when this is about you!" Asami warned, "You go and have a meltdown in the middle of the ocean and now you're trying to lecture me?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact!" Korra snapped back, "Asami, I can understand having to put on a front when dealing with your company and your workers, but you're starting to keep that front up all the time—even in front of me. I admire it to an extent, but you're doing the exact same thing I used to do, and you're stressing yourself out because of my dumb issues!"
"Don't trivialize what you've been through," Asami shook her head, "most people would have lost it much sooner if they had suffered the same things you have. It hurts me to see it, Korra, because I always worry you're going to start falling back into your old destructive habits."
"That's what I'm worried about," Korra asserted, "I recognize these habits and I'm seeing you start to fall back into them!"
"This from the woman who lied to me about being better, after all those discussions?" Asami's voice rose as she took the defensive, "Korra, what happened to 'no more secrets'?"
"This was a one time thing!" Korra pleaded in honesty, "babe, you gotta understand how much I need you to believe me on this. I've been mostly fine up until now, and every episode until this point I've told you about. I would have come clean with you on this one too after I had had a moment to compose myself… but I can't have you driving yourself mad over my problems because that's just going to make it worse for both of us!"
"And so what do you expect me to do, love?" Asami demanded, "Just ignore your suffering and let you coddle me while your own mental state deteriorates again?"
"Is that what you expect me to do?" Korra raised her voice, "Love, listen to me. Don't trivialize your own trauma just because you think mine's worse. I'm not here to make this a flex fest, but you've changed since the Equalist War, and more so the more you visit your dad. I'm not trying to point any fingers, and I'm not trying to make you mad, but I can see your pain and you're trying to cover it up. It's admirable that you can keep it concealed in public; truly, I envy that talent because you know as well as I do how much I could have used it these last couple of years…"
"I don't want this to come off the wrong way, Korra," Asami spoke softly, "but maybe we should take a break from each other. Not from our relationship," she added as she saw Korra's face contort, "just… a little breath, so to speak. We work well together, but you're right about both of us being so concerned for each other that we're neglecting ourselves. I say I can handle mine, and you say you can handle yours, so maybe we can evaluate that after a little while and get back to each other."
"Asami, that…" Korra's face dropped significantly, before she took a deep breath. "... Alright, love. I'll trust you, and we can try it your way. Just… take care of yourself too, okay? I love you, and hope you can resolve your problems too..." She kissed Asami's cheek and walked off. Asami stood frozen for a moment, and it took her a full 7 minutes before she returned to her room. Screaming into her pillow in frustration, she sighed in defeat as she rolled onto her side. Korra's response had caught her off guard, and it really made her look inward at just how loving and caring Korra truly was. She had been so ready for Korra to snap back and refute her that she had mentally prepared to rip apart anything Korra said in defiance—and so for Korra to instead offer up a compassionate and understanding approach had left her dumbfounded and defeated.
It would be difficult, but perhaps the traumatized Avatar did have a point. Perhaps Asami did need to look inward and try to resolve her own problems before accusing Korra of not solving hers. She sighed, closing her eyes and wondering where Korra had gone this time.
Korra had simply relocated to the other end of the ship, gazing up at the large moon illuminating the fair calm seas. She worried for Asami, and couldn't help but wonder what else was in store for them at the Southern Water Tribe. Spiritual incursions, the Glacier Spirits Festival, Harmonic Convergence, her own resurging trauma, Asami's business deal, and rumours that her uncle Unalaq would grace the South with his presence, among other things, were all concerns and anticipations Korra expected to face, for better or for worse. She had mixed feelings about the upcoming weeks, but knew at least one thing—she was about to become and stay extremely busy. She didn't imagine Unalaq was coming down just to say hello, and figured that it had something to do with Harmonic Convergence—an event that Korra had not even begun to understand what it was about...