AN: I want to thank…MOST of you all for the Omake ideas I got last chapter. I saw most because, once again, I have to repeat THAT I DON'T WRITE CROSS DRESSING, SMUT, OR YAOI! STOP FRIGGIN ASKING! I tell you people again and again it won't happen so all you're doing is being a pest, like a whiny little toddler screaming at a restaurant.

AN2: Just realized while writing this that I don't have a name anywhere in canon for the pseudo OC son of Moxxi who's getting paired with Gaige so any suggestions would help.

Deadshot

Chapter 11

-Moxxi-

"So, you're here to train one of the new Vault Hunters?" Moxxi raised an eyebrow as she sat in her personal apartment with Moxxi and Springs, her younger son watching the bar for her while she did so.

"Kid's as ruthless as I am but he's not been fully trained." Athena scowled over her bottle of beer "I'm not leaving this up to Lilith and Roland to fuck up."

"Still have an issue with them?" Moxxi frowned as she sipped her own drink.

"They tried to kill me along with Jack without a second thought." Athena snorted "You at least had the decency to help us escape along with the Aurelia and the doppelganger. The fact that those two then had the gall to try and have a capture order out on me while still letting Claptrap into the city is absolute bullshit."

"Well, Roland is reasonable." Moxxi didn't argue Athena's point "He's the one who pulled back the initial capture order and he'd be willing to hear you out. I'll vouch for you as well. Springs, would you be willing to work with Scooter while Athena trains the boy?"

"Sure, but if he flirts with me, I'm throwing a wrench at him." Springs states firmly.

"…Fair."

-Harry-

"This is…unusual." Angel frowned, appearing in his vision again as Harry and his friends finished clearing out the first valley of the Frostburn canyon, the area seemingly having acted as a rear camp for the bandit raid on the area, "The Firehawk has harassed the Bloodshots for some time now yes, but they've never mounted such a large-scale assault on the bounty hunter before. I wonder what's given them such confidence."

"Maybe they're using the same brand of boner pills that Average Joe uses." Harry shrugged with a smirk "I mean, with a face like that looking back from the mirror he'd need some medical 'help' just to get it up."

"HEY!" said Joe, apparently having realized he wasn't on their echo line anymore, returned and got quite offended at that, "I'll have you know my girlfriend doesn't have any complaints you little shit."

"Wow, you sound like one of those whiny brats in kindergarten. 'My mommy says I'm really handsome and tough, so you'd better watch out!'." Harry retorted, doing a mocking little kid voice as Jack growled like a rabid chihuahua amidst the laughter of Harry's tam.

"Keep goin' Bloodshots!" Flanksteak, apparently unable to read a room, bust into their line again "That demonic…THING will rue the goddamn day it messed with us! We're gonna make the Firehawk choke to death on his own feces!"

"Dude…ew." Harry and Angel spoke in tandem, each wearing an utterly disgusted expression at the absurd threat. "Jinx!" still in tandem, Angel and Harry grinned and pointed at each other, or at least her approximation on his HUD.

"Uuuuuuugh, get a room!" Axton rolled his eyes teasingly at the byplay while Gaige just made kissy faces.

"That would just be rude to Maya, force her to deal with you all alone." Harry quipped back, "She and I are a collective ninety percent of the brain cells in this venture." Ignoring his sister giving him the bird, Harry looked into the cave, seeing a small village that was seemingly taken over by bandits and spider ants, the buildings teeming with enemies.

"There's a lot of resistance between you and the Firehawk." Angel frowned concerned "Are you all sure you're going to be alright."

"We'll be fine Angel." Harry grinned behind his sniper scope "In fact, I think I'll thin the numbers and give everyone a little show to watch. Just make sure you all stay back here till it's time."

"Time…for what?" Gaige didn't seem to get his plan.

"You'll see." Harry fired and popped off the helmet of the sole Goliath in the room, the massive bandit going berserk on every enemy in the cramped cave they were looking down into.

"That's…one way to deal with things." Angel blinked as the slaughter continued, the Goliath continually killing his comrades while they whittled down the big guy's health.

"Yep." Harry grinned as he popped open a drink from his pack "And when it's just the big guy we can have Maya use phase lock on him to hold him still while we finish off what the rest of his friends started damage wise.

"But I still wanna have fun Amigo!" Salvador whined as the cave shook from the rampaging Goliath.

"They're trying to capture Roland, remember." Harry shook his head, "And apparently this 'Firehawk' actually did. the strongest enemies are gonna be at the end, I'm just conserving our ammo till we get to there."

"Smart, cunning, and a good shot." Maya chuckled, ruffling his hair, "It's a miracle you're still single."

"Not for long." Angel sing songed as Harry turned crimson.

-Omake-

Letting out a sigh, Harry slipped into the hot spring that they'd found deep in the Frostburn Canyon cave system. After the earlier issue with Average Joe, the Hyperion turd lord had started doing another bombardment blitz of the canyon so everything outside the sturdy caves was getting pulverized. This meant that, once again, they were stuck waiting. "At least these hot springs feel amazing." Harry stretched in the water, his friends likely in their own spring caves.

Hearing a loud ding, Harry opened his eyes and saw a request to update the software of his ECHO. Shrugging, he clicked yes as the update bar rocketed to completion far faster than any update he'd seen before. Then, the moment it hit 100, he saw a holographic projection of Angel lounging in the spring with him, wearing a distractingly small bikini.

"A-A-Angel?!" Harry gulped at getting a nice to scale image of the digital beauty.

"Like the update I made for you Harry?" Angel smirked, clearly knowing full well the affect she had on him at this moment, "I thought I'd pop in after to see if you liked it." as she spoke, she crossed her long legs, smugly drawing his eye.

"I…it's certainly impressive." Harry gulped as he tried, and failed, to not stare at the 3D hologram that he was probably the only one able to see.

"Thanks." Angel blew him a kiss "I also left a little gift in your echo to help keep you entertained on long watches or boring times when I'm not around. Have fun." The last was said with a bedroom voice that made his face turn perfect Gryffindor scarlet while Angel vanished into pixels, wiggling her fingers playfully at him. Pulling up his ECHO to see what this 'gift' was he saw instead of the pinup he expected that she left him a game, likely one she'd made herself given her own prominence on the cover.

"A…visual novel dating sim?" Harry blinked as he read the description, then he got to the tags and ALL blood went to two places "OH!"